Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Highway To Heaven 1.3 “To Touch The Moon”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Highway to Heaven is determined to make you cry.

Episode 1.3 “To Touch The Moon”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on September 26th, 1984)

Oh my God, this episode.  Seriously, this episode was a real tear-jerker and a good example of how this show’s earnest and extremely sincere approach could make even the most predictable of stories emotionally effective.

This episode deals with two young boys living in Houston.

Arthur Nealy (Barret Oliver) is the son of a man who flew to the Moon as a part of NASA and then died when the plane that he was flying crashed.  (Before the crash, Arthur’s father got the plane out over the ocean and saved the lives of everyone who was underneath him.)  For most of his short life, Arthur has struggled with Leukemia.  After a year of being in remission, the cancer has returned and, as his doctor (Don Starr) tells his mother (Carrie Snodgress), there is no hope this time.  Arthur’s only wish is to “touch the moon” before he dies.

Tony Rizzo (Tony La Torre) is a tough kid who has been in trouble with the police numerous times and who is on the verge of being kicked out his apartment by his own grandmother (Penny Santon).

Mark and Jonathan meet Tony while the latter is standing on the side of the road and hitchhiking.  Former cop Mark doesn’t want to stop to pick up any hitchhikers.  Jonathan, being an angel who can basically do anything, forces the car to stop anyways.  Jonathan and Mark agree to give Tony a ride but, when they stop off to get breakfast at a diner, Tony promptly steals Mark’s car.  While Jonathan goes off to do angel stuff, Mark pursues Tony.

Eventually, Mark tracks Tony down to his grandmother’s apartment but, when Mark discovers that Tony’s parents abandoned him and that his grandmother doesn’t even want him, Mark doesn’t have the heart to take Tony to the police.  (Awwwww!)  Instead, he takes Tony with him to an address that Jonathan give him earlier.

The address is the Nealy House, where Jonathan shows up to give Arthur a birthday gift and introduces himself as being a friend of Arthur’s father.  (The implication is that Jonathan and Arthur’s father have been conversing in Heaven.)  Arthur asks his mother if Tony can stay with him for a few days.  Arthur’s mother agrees.  When Tony tries to later sneak out of the house, he’s stopped by Jonathan, who reveals that Arthur has cancer and who gets Tony to agree to be Arthur’s friend for a few days.

You can probably guess where this is heading.  Tony and Arthur end up bonding.  Tony lets down his tough exterior.  Arthur says that he wants his mother to adopt Tony after he dies.  One happy family montage later, Arthur collapses in his bedroom and is taken to the hospital where Jonathan visits him in his hospital room and shows him that death is nothing to fear.  Arthur stares out the hospital window and the camera zooms in on the moon, the implication being the Arthur’s spirit is now free to touch the moon.

“Your home, son,” Jonathan says, his voice cracking, “you’re  home.”

I mean, Good Lord!  I’m crying just typing this up!  And really, that’s the best review that I can give you of this episode.  It was heavy-handed and sometimes the performances felt a little awkward but it totally made me cry.  There’s not a hint of cynicism to be found here, nor are there any hints of snarkiness.  There’s just a lot of very honest emotion.

Next week, I assume the show will make me cry again.

Horror on TV: The Hitchhiker 5.22 “Cruelest Cut” (dir by Michael Robison)


Tonight’s episode of The Hitchhiker features Melody Anderson and David James Elliott as, respectively, a veteran prostitute and a polite young man who seems to be the rare honest person that the guy with the lantern was always looking for.  However, someone also happens to be killing men who talk to prostitutes.

This episode originally aired on November 18th, 1989.

Retro Television Reviews: Jennifer Slept Here 1.3 “Not With My Date You Don’t”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Jennifer Slept Here, which aired on NBC in 1983 and 1984.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Jennifer helps out when it looks like both Joey and Marc are about to get their hearts broken.

Episode 1.3 “Not With My Date You Don’t”

(Dir by John Bowab, originally aired on November 4th, 1983)

I should start this review with an admission.  Though every episode of Jennifer Slept Here has been uploaded to YouTube, some of the uploads are a bit better than others.  That’s not the fault of the uploader.  The uploader undoubtedly used the best copy of the third episode of Jennifer Slept Here that they had available.  It’s just an acknowledgement that Jennifer Slept Here is a show that briefly aired 40 years ago and it’s doubtful that anyone, at that time, knew that a reviewer would need a good copy of the third episode to watch in 2023.  The 3rd episode of the show is available on YouTube but the sound quality is a bit muddy and I often struggled to understand all of the dialogue.  So, I’m just going to admit right now that I did the best that I could and if I misheard anything, I apologize.

As for the episode itself, it opens with Joey rehearsing asking out a classmate in front of his mirror.  Jennifer materializes in a red dress that is to die for.  Joey asks Jennifer where she’s going to go in that outfit and Jennifer says that she’s just going out.  To be honest, Joey’s question is a good one because, seriously, where does Jennifer have to go?  She’s a ghost!

When Jennifer finds out that Joey is feeling nervous about asking pretty blonde Linda (Viveka Davis) to go on a date with him, she decides to help him out by going to school with him.  This makes sense because, as we all know, there’s nothing more attractive than a teenage boy who wanders around his school talking to himself.  Anyway, with Jennifer’s encouragement, Joey asks out Linda but she informs him that she already has a date ….. WITH MARC (Glenn Scarpelli)!  Marc is Joey’s annoying best friend.

Joey’s parents set him up with a blind date, who I think was named Eileen (Megan Daniels).  At least now Joey can go on a double date to the movies with Marc and Linda.  (Yeah, there’s no way that won’t be awkward.)  However, Eileen turns out to be a punk rocker with multi-colored hair, who yells at the movie and  totally embarrasses Joey in front of Marc, Linda, and Jennifer (who decides to tag along in ghost form).  Eileen decides that the movie sucks and leaves.  Linda asks Marc to go get her some more popcorn and, after he leaves, she immediately moves over to Marc and starts hitting on him.  Jennifer is scandalized, saying that Linda has no morals.

Later, after the date, Joey is feeling pretty proud of himself when Marc suddenly shows up and accuses Joey of “stealing my girl.”  This brings their friendship to an end.  Yay!  Seriously, Marc is a dork!  Joey needed a better friend.  Jennifer, however, is upset that Joey is allowing Linda — a girl with no morals! — come between him and his dorky friend.

The next day, in school, Jennifer decides to take actions into her own invisible ghost hands by grabbing Linda, shoving her up to the chalkboard, and then grabbing Linda’s hand and forcing her to write that she lied on the chalkboard.  Apparently, the reason she lied was to get Joey to buy her tickets to a Rick Springfield concert but don’t quote me on that.  This where that muddy soundtrack kicked in and made it difficult for me to follow all of the conversations.  All I know that Jennifer forced Linda to write, “I lied” and then Jennifer added, “Springfield tickets” underneath Linda’s admission.  So, that would suggest Linda either wanted to see Rick Springfield or maybe Dusty Springfield, depending on the depths of her musical knowledge.  Or maybe she actually wrote Springsteen on the chalkboard.  I really couldn’t tell.  The important thing is that Joey dumps Linda for being dishonest and he and Marc are friends again.

Even when it came to the parts that I could understand, I wasn’t a huge fan of this episode, largely because I felt it was way too judgmental of Linda.  I mean, really, the only thing that Linda did was flirt with a guy who she hoped would take her to a concert.  It’s not like she was married to either Marc or Joey.  In fact, she only went out with Marc once before hitting on Joey so it’s not like Linda was really even dating either one of them.  Ann Jillian’s outfits were cute but this episode just didn’t work for me.

Horror Scenes I Love: Peter Lorre in Tales of Terror


Born in what is now Slovakia, Peter Lorre began his acting career in Europe, appearing on the stage and making quite an impression when he starred in Fritz Lang’s M.  When the Nazis came to power, Lorre was one of the many film artists who left Germany.  At first, he moved to France but, in 1934, he set sail for the United States and continued his career in Hollywood.  A popular character actor, Lorre appeared in such classic films as The Man Who Knew Too Much, The Maltese Falcon, Mad Love, Arsenic and Old Lace and Casablanca.  Though his role in Casablanca was small, he still played a key role when he gave Rick the letters of transit.

He also appeared in several horror films, often opposite his good friend Vincent Price and Boris Karloff.  In this scene from 1962’s Tales of Terror, Lorre and Price challenge each other to a wine-drinking contest.

 

October True Crime: The Manson Family (dir by Jim Van Bebber)


Jim Van Bebber’s The Manson Family (a.k.a. Charlie’s Family) opens with chaos.  The viewer is assaulted with a series of quick cuts and disturbing images.  The American flag flies.  The American flag is covered in blood.  Insane faces flash by.  We catch glimpses of blood squirting and we hear people screaming while two performers go through with some sort of S&M bondage ritual with a red, white, and blue dildo.  I have to admit the opening few minutes of the montage actually made me nuaseus.  That’s not necessarily criticism, though.  If anything, I imagine that was Van Bebber’s intention.  The opening announces that the viewer is not just about to see another film about the Manson murders.  Instead, The Manson Family is a plunge into the heart of darkness that beat at Spahn Ranch.  It’s not a film for those who cannot handle being shocked.

The disjointed nature of the film’s montage is carried over into the film’s narrative.  The Manson Family deals with two different time periods.  In 1996, a journalist named Jack Wilson (Carl Day) sits in the studio of his show, Crime Time, and watches grainy footage of the former members of Manson’s Family being interviewed.  Some of them still proudly have X’s carved into their foreheads and continue to parrot Manson’s hippie psychobable.  Others are interviewed from prison and try to play down their own roles in the crimes.  Tex Watson (Marc Pitman) and Sadie Atkins (Maureen Alisse) both appear to be in a prison chapel.  Tex, who was one of the most brutal of the murderers in Manson’s Family, comes across as mild-mannered.  Sadie — who was nicknamed Sexy Sadie when she was a member of the Family — now has gray hair, glasses, and the speaking style of a high school guidance counselor.  At first, only Bobby Beausoliel (played by director Van Bebber) seems to be willing to fully admit to what happened but even he eventually changes his story to seemingly protect Manson.  While Wilson watches the footage, a group of young Manson fans ominously wait outside of his studio.

During the interviews, the film frequently flashes back to 1969 and we watch as Charles Manson (Marcello Games) unsuccessfully pursues rock stardom and gathers the members of his so-called Family at the Spahn Movie Ranch.  While Manson’s followers talk about how charismatic and wise he was, the flashbacks reveal that Manson was actually a cowardly racist who ordered others to kill for him and who went into hiding after he shot a drug dealer because he was convinced that the Black Panthers were going to come after him.  The film suggests that Manson’s murders had less to do with Helter Skelter or any of his other hippie psychobabble and more to do with Manson’s anger over not being famous.  At Spahn Ranch, Manson lives like almost a parody of a rock star, complete with all the drugs, groupies, and sex that he could want.  But, ultimately, it doesn’t matter because, unlike his friend and follower Bobby Beausoliel, Manson can’t even get a record contract.  The murders are depicted and this is a very bloody movie but, to its credit, the film never attempts to make Manson or the majority of his followers into sympathetic characters.  Instead, by featuring the character of Jack Wilson putting together yet another exploitive TV show about Manson, the film examines how the media can even turn as scummy a loser as Charles Manson into an icon of sorts.

It’s a chaotic film, one that features its share of shockingly explicit footage.  When the incarcerated members of the Family say that the early days at Spahn Ranch were a nonstop orgy, Van Bebber doesn’t hesitate to show us what they’re talking about.  At the same time, there’s a constant threat of violence to be found in every scene.  Every shot feels just a little bit off-center, preventing the viewer from ever feeling like they can relax.  Even the moments that shouldn’t work, like Tex briefly turning into the devil, do work when viewed as being a part of the film’s portrayal of a world that’s spiraling out of control.  Throughout the film, we hear snippets of not Charles Manson but instead Jim Jones, exhorting his followers to commit mass suicide at Jonestown.  It’s a reminder that Manson was not the only cult leader who convinced his followers to do terrible things.  The Manson Family is a messy, raw, but effectively disturbing film of a death-obsessed culture.

The production of The Manson Family was, itself, a rather chaotic one.  Van Bebber spent ten years filming the movie and, indeed, one reason why the character of Charles Manson disappears from a lot of the film is because the actor himself stopped showing up on set.  (Interestingly enough, that works to the film’s advantage as it makes Manson into a character who always feels like he’s present even when he isn’t.)  A rough cut of the film made the festival circuit in 1997.  The film, itself, didn’t get an official release until 2003.  One gets the feeling that the disjointed nature of the film’s production was reflected in the film’s equally disjointed narrative but again, that works to the film’s advantage.  Though not always easy to watch, The Manson Family is one of the better Manson family films to have been made.  If nothing else, watching the film makes it much easier to understand why so many people cheered when Leo DiCaprio set Sadie Atkins on fire at the end of Once Upon A Time In Hollywood.

6 Shots From 6 Horror Films: The Special Lucio Fulci Edition!


6 Shots From 6 Films is just what it says it is, 6 shots from 6 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 6 Shots From 6 Films is all about letting the visuals do the talking.

This October, I am going to be using our 6 Shots From 6 Films feature to pay tribute to some of my favorite horror directors, in alphabetical order!  That’s right, we’re going from Argento to Zombie in one month!

Today’s director?  The master of Italian horror himself, Lucio Fulci!

6 Shots From 6 Lucio Fulci Films

Zombi 2 (1979, dir by Lucio Fulci, DP: Sergio Salvati)

City of the Living Dead (1980, dir by Lucio Fulci, DP: Sergio Salvati)

The Beyond (1981, dir by Lucio Fulci, DP: Sergio Salvati)

The House By The Cemetery (1981, dir by Lucio Fulci, DP: Sergio Salvati)

The Black Cat (1981, dir by Lucio Fulci, DP: Sergio Salvati)

Manhattan Baby (1982, dir by Lucio Fulci, DP: Guglielmo Mancori)

Horror On The Lens: Carnival of Souls (dir by Herk Harvey)


Well, we’re more than halfway done with October and, traditionally, this is when all of us in the Shattered Lens Bunker gather in front of the television in Arleigh’s penthouse suite, eat popcorn, drink diet coke, and gossip about whoever has the day off.

Of course, after we do that, I duck back into my office and I watch the classic 1962 film, Carnival of Souls!

Reportedly, David Lynch is a huge fan of Carnival of Souls and, when you watch the film, it’s easy to see why.  The film follows a somewhat odd woman (played, in her one and only starring role, by Candace Hilligoss) who, after a car accident, is haunted by visions of ghostly figures.  This dream-like film was independently produced and distributed.  At the time, it didn’t get much attention but it has since been recognized as a classic and very influential horror film.

This was director Herk Harvey’s only feature film.  Before and after making this film, he specialized in making educational and industrial shorts (some of which we’ve watched on this very site), the type of films that encouraged students not to cheat on tests and employees not to take their jobs for granted.  Harvey also appears in this film, playing “The Man” who haunts Hilligoss as she travels across the country.

Enjoy Carnival of Souls!

And remember, don’t stop for any hitchhikers!

October Positivity: Held For Ransom (dir by Bruce Lood)


This 1976 movie opens with a title card that assures us that we are about to see a true story.

The film deals with a kidnapping.  Two kidnappers — one of whom is cocky and arrogant and the other of whom is naïve and speaks with a slight stutter — abduct a middle-aged woman in Minnesota.  They toss her into their car and then drive her to an abandoned house.  They tie her up.  They put a blindfold over her eyes.  Otherwise, they’re actually fairly polite about the whole thing.  They’re not there to hurt anyone.  They just want to get some money.

The woman’s husband is a wealthy banker.  The younger, more naïve of the two kidnappers calls the man at his office and informs him that he needs to get all the money that he can gather and leave it at a phone booth at the corner of “66th and Lindale.”  Obviously, this isn’t a particularly well thought-out crime.  Not only do the kidnappers fail to give a definite ransom demand (“all the money you can get” could be interpreted in many different ways) but they also come up with a drop point that would be ludicrously easy for the cops to track down.  Still, the husband agrees to pay the ransom.  He also calls the police, which gets the FBI involved.  The husband goes home and prays.

Meanwhile, at the abandoned house, the woman prays as well.  In fact, she has such a cheerful attitude that the kidnappers even let her remove her blindfold a few times.  The younger kidnapper asks the woman to explain why she’s able to handle so things.  The woman talks to him about her religious faith….

You can probably guess where this low-budget film is leading.  Eventually, the police do catch the kidnappers and the woman is reunited with her husband.  At the end of the movie, the actual people involved appear, standing in front of their house.  The man says that he did pray as much as he was shown praying in the film.  His wife says that one of her kidnappers has written her from prison, asking her to forgive him and thanking her for leading him to God.  It’s an interesting moment because the real people are notably awkward in front of the camera and one gets the feeling that neither one was quite as recovered from the experience as the film suggests.

I assume that Held for Ransom is one of those films that was specifically made to be viewed in church basements.  It’s a low-budget film with what appears to be a semi-amateur cast.  That said, it’s also a well-meaning and earnest film and not one that allows itself to become preachy.  The film has its slow spots but watching it feels like the equivalent of stepping into a time machine and going back to 1976.  Regardless of whether you agree with the film’s message or not, you are glad that things worked out in the end.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Monsters 1.3 “New York Honey”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991.  The entire show is streaming on Youtube.

This week’s episode is all about bee keeping and the wages of sin!

Episode 1.3 “New York Honey”

(Dir by Gerald Cotts, originally aired on November 5th, 1988)

Actually, this episode felt kind of pointless.  I usually try to come up with at least 500 words whenever I write a review but it’s going to be a struggle tonight.

Jay Blake (Lewis J. Stadlen) and his wife, Emerald (Elaine Bromka) live in an apartment in New York.  Their new upstairs neighbor is a mysterious man named Dr. Homer Jimmerman (MacIntyre Dixon).  Hardly anyone around the building ever sees Dr. Jimmerman but they definitely hear him moving around and working in his apartment.  When Jay and Emerald get annoyed by the loud music coming from Dr. Jimmerman’s apartment, Jay heads upstairs to complain.

When Dr. Jimmerman opens the door to his apartment, Jay barges in and discovers that Dr. Jimmerman is keeping bees in his apartment, a clear violation of his lease.  However, Jay gets one taste of the honey that the bees produce and he decides that, rather than evict Dr. Jimmerman, he wants to go into business with him.  Dr. Jimmerman says that he doesn’t have enough honey to start selling it but Jay blackmails him into accepting Jay’s offer.

Rich people in New York love the honey and Jay finds himself falling for Dr. Jimmerman’s femme fatale of a girlfriend, Desiree (Andrea Thompson).  Jay even sends Emerald to Dr. Jimmerman’s apartment so that he can get some alone time with Desiree.  Desiree declares that there can only be one queen and suddenly, all of the bees attack Emerald and kill her.  Desiree then explains to Jay that Dr. Jimmerman’s time has come to an end and now, Jay’s going to be the worker bee who gets to look after her needs.  That’s right …. DESIREE IS ACTUALLY SOME SORT OF BEE CREATURE!  Out the apartment window goes Jay.

And that’s pretty much the entire episode!

Seriously, there’s not much to say about New York Honey.  From the minute that Desiree arrives, it’s obvious that she has a secret and that it is linked to all of the bees that Dr. Jimmerman is keeping in his apartment.  It doesn’t take a genius to guess that her secret is going to somehow involve her being the “queen bee.”  It’s also pretty easy to guess that Jay is eventually going to go out that window because Jay is such a smarmy character that there’s no way he isn’t going to end up getting tossed out a window.  Such are the wages of sin and all that.  Andrea Thompson gives a good performance as Desiree the Bee Lady but otherwise, this episode was way too predictable.

How many words is that?  503?  That’ll work!

Horror on TV: The Hitchhiker 5.19 “Hit and Run” (dir by Randy Bradshaw)


On tonight’s episode of The Hitchhiker, Bruce Weitz gives a strong performance as a man who abandons his family for a stripper and then finds himself haunted by a man that he ran over in his car.  A guilty conscience cannot be escaped.

This episode originally aired on November 10th, 1989.