Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.6 “The Hole”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, Monsters goes to Vietnam.

Episode 3.6 “The Hole”

(Dir by David Severeid, originally aired on November 4th, 1990)

At the height of the Vietnam War, two U.S. Marines and their guide stumble upon a hole in the middle of a deserted village.  Lowering themselves into the hole, they find a complex maze of tunnels.  The Viet Cong dug the tunnels so that they could move and smuggle weapons without being seen by their enemies.  But as the guide (played by Glenn Kubota) explains it, they dug their tunnels so deep that they awakened a far more evil power.

More evil than communism?  This is a scary episode!

Soon, Sgt. Kenner (Ahmad Rashad) and Corporal Torres (Antone Pagan) find themselves being pursued through the tunnels by zombies.  Kenner is determined to fight and destroy as many of the undead as possible.  Torres just wants to get out of the tunnels.  But it turns out that finding their way out is not as easy as Kenner and Torres assumed it would be.  And the men are definitely at a disadvantage because the zombies know the maze.  The maze is their home.

This episode is surprisingly straight-forward.  There aren’t any huge twists or anything of that sort.  Three men enter a tunnel system and find themselves being pursued by zombies.  The underground maze of tunnels is properly atmospheric location and I did jump a few times when the zombies suddenly appeared coming around a corner.  The zombie makeup was well-done and this episode was a bit gorier than the average episode of Monsters.  The special effects brought to mind the grotesque imagery of the Italian zombie films.  This episode owed quite a bit to the legacy of Lucio Fulci.

That said, I do wish the episode had been a bit more surprising.  It was so straight-forward that it actually become a bit predictable.  I’ve seen enough George Romero films to know exactly what was going to happen to each person who entered the maze.  The episode was brutally effective but it’s still hard not to feel that the plot needed an unexpected twist that just didn’t come.  In fact, as I watched the episode, I found myself thinking about how a film like Cannibal Apocalypse managed to make a powerful statement about the horror of war by portraying Vietnam vets who had been infected by the cannibal virus while serving in the conflict.  I also thought about how Fulci, at his best, crafted zombie films that reminded us of just how fragile the human body actually is.  There wasn’t much subtext to found in The Hole and that’s a shame because often the most interesting thing about a zombie story is the subtext.

Still, the episode worked in its own crude way.  The undead are frightening, no matter where they appear.

Lisa Marie’s Final 2024 Oscar Predictions


The Oscar nominations are due to be announced tomorrow so I guess I should post my final predictions.  2024 has been a rough year for me and my sisters.  Our Dad was in a car accident in May and, after two months of physical rehab, passed away in August while in home hospice care.  Needless to say, going to the movies was the last thing on my mind for much of 2024.

(I’m very thankful that my fellow contributors who kept the site going during our frequent absences.  Their hard work not only kept TSL alive but it also rekindled my own passion for the Shattered Lens.  I am still very much in mourning but writing for this site and sharing my thoughts with our readers has definitely helped me to regain some semblance of stability.)

So, there’s a lot of Oscar hopefuls that I have not seen.  That’s one reason why I haven’t done a best of 2024 list this year or my usual “If Lisa Marie Had All The Power” posts because there’s still a lot that I need to watch.  (I may publish them at some point in February, by which point everyone will have moved on but it will make me feel happy.)  I’m flying blind here with a lot of the potential nominees.  But I’ve been following the guilds and the critic awards and I feel reasonably confident about the predictions below.

Tomorrow morning, we’ll find out how right or wrong I am.

Best Picture

Anora

The Brutalist

A Complete Unknown

Conclave

Dune Part II

The Brutalist

A Real Pain

September 5

The Substance

Wicked

Best Director

Jacques Audiard for Emilia Perez

Sean Baker for Anora

Edward Berger for Conclave

Brady Corbet for The Brutalist

Coralie Fargeat for The Substance

Best Actress

Pamela Anderson in The Last Showgirl

Cynthia Erivo in Wicked

Karla Sofia Gascon in Emilia Perez

Mikey Madison in Anora

Demi Moore for in Substance

Best Actor

Adrien Brody in The Brutalist

Timothee Chalamet in A Compete Unknown

Domingo Colman in Sing Sing

Daniel Craig in Queer

Ralph Fiennes in Conclave

Best Supporting Actress

Jamie Lee Curtis in The Last Showgirl

Ariana Grande in Wicked

Margaret Qualley in The Substance

Isabella Rossellini in Conclave

Zoe Saldana in Emilia Perez

Best Supporting Actor

Yura Borisov in Anora

Kieran Culkin in A Real Pain

Edward Norton in A Complete Unknown

Guy Pearce in The Brutalist

Jeremy Strong in The Apprentice

Lisa Marie Reviews An Oscar Nominee: The Thin Red Line (dir by Terrence Malick)


Based on a novel by James Jones (and technically, a sequel of sorts to From Here To Eternity), 1998’s The Thin Red Line is one of those Best Picture nominees that people seem to either love or hate.

Those who love it point out that the film is visually stunning and that director Terrence Malick takes a unique approach to portraying both the Battle of Guadalcanal and war in general.  Whereas Steven Spielberg’s Saving Private Ryan told a rather traditional story about the tragedy of war (albeit with much more blood than previous World War II films), The Thin Red Line used the war as a way to consider the innocence of nature and the corrupting influence of mankind.  “It’s all about property,” one shell-shocked soldier shouts in the middle of a battle and later, as soldiers die in the tall green grass of the film’s island setting, a baby bird hatches out of an egg.  Malick’s film may have been an adaptation of James Jones’s novel but its concerns were all pure Malick, right down to the philosophical voice-overs that were heard throughout the film.

Those who dislike the film point out that it moves at a very deliberate pace and that we don’t really learn much about the characters that the film follows.  In fact, with everyone wearing helmets and running through the overgrown grass, it’s often difficult to tell who is who.  (One gets the feeling that deliberate on Malick’s point.)  They complain that the story is difficult to follow.  They point out that the parade of star cameos can be distracting.  And they also complain that infantrymen who are constantly having to look out for enemy snipers would not necessarily be having an inner debate about the spirituality of nature.

I will agree that the cameos can be distracting.  John Cusack, for example, pops up out of nowhere, plays a major role for a few minutes, and then vanishes from the film.  The sight of John Travolta playing an admiral is also a bit distracting, if just because Travolta’s mustache makes him look a bit goofy.  George Clooney appears towards the end of the film and delivers a somewhat patronizing lecture to the men under his command.  Though his role was apparently meant to be much larger, Adrien Brody ends up two lines of dialogue and eleven minutes of screentime in the film’s final cut.

That said, The Thin Red Line works for me.  The film is not meant to be a traditional war film and it’s not necessarily meant to be a realistic recreation of the Battle of Guadalcanal.  Instead, it’s a film that plays out like a dream and, when viewed a dream, the philosophical voice overs and the scenes of eerie beauty all make sense.  Like the majority of Malick’s films, The Thin Red Line is ultimately a visual poem.  The plot is far less important than how the film is put together.  It’s a film that immerses you in its world.  Even the seeming randomness of the film’s battles and deaths fits together in a definite patten.  It’s a Malick film.  It’s not for everyone but those who are attuned to Malick’s wavelength will appreciate it even if they don’t understand it.

And while Malick does definitely put an emphasis on the visuals, he still gets some good performances out of his cast.  Nick Nolte is chilling as the frustrated officer who has no hesitation about ordering his men to go on a suicide mission.  Elias Koteas is genuinely moving as the captain whose military career is ultimately sabotaged by his kind nature.  Sean Penn is surprisingly convincing as a cynical sergeant while Jim Caviezel (playing the closest thing the film has to a main character) gets a head start on humanizing messianic characters by playing the most philosophical of the soldiers.  Ben Chaplin spends most of his time worrying about his wife back home and his fantasies give us a glimpse of what’s going on in America while its soldiers fight and die overseas.

The Thin Red Line was the first of Terrence Malick’s films to be nominated for Best Picture and it was one of three World War II films to be nominated that year.  However, it lost to Shakespeare In Love.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.14 “Good Neighbors/Captain’s Portrait/Familiar Faces”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, Captain Stubing poses for a portrait.

Episode 5.14 “Good Neighbors/Captain’s Portrait/Familiar Faces”

(Dir by Jerome Courtland, originally aired on January 9th, 1982)

Don York (Sonny Shroyer) is an ad man who is so famous that even Gopher knows who he is.  Don gets really excited when he sees Doris Weldon (Arlene Golonka) boarding the boat.  Don rushes over and starts to hit on her.  He even notices that, according to the tag on her luggage, they live in the same building in Los Angeles!  They’re neighbors!  Too bad Doris refuses to date anyone who lives in the same building as her.  Don spends the entire cruise trying to get Doris to reconsider.  Personally, I suspected that Doris was just using the “neighbor” thing as an excuse to avoid telling Don that he’s very annoying and kind of pushy.  Stuff like that never happens on The Love Boat, though.  Instead, Doris is definitely attracted to Don but she doesn’t want him living next door.   Will things work out for Don and Doris?

Stan (Dean Butler) and Laura Barber (Mary Beth McDonough) are newlyweds.  Stan has the bar exam coming up so he’s brought his law books with him on his honeymoon.  (Boo!  Nerd!)  Stan’s future seems bright until he sees that Frank Jenson (Henry Jones) is also on the cruise.  Frank once owned the liquor store where Stan used to hang out when he was an alcoholic.  Stan apologizes for stealing from the store.  Frank accuses Stan of beating him up, something that Stan says didn’t happen.  Will things work for Stan, Laura, and Frank?

Of course, things will work out for them.  The is The Love Boat and things always work out on The Love Boat!  Both of the stories were okay but they were also kind of boring and predictable.  The more interesting story for this cruise featured Lee Meriwether as Barbara Baden, an artist who has been hired by the cruise line to paint a picture of Captain Stubing.  Apparently, any captain who sticks with the line for ten years gets their picture painted and hung in the corporate offices.

As you can probably already guess, the Captain and the artist end up falling for each other.  And if you didn’t already guess that Barbara’s portrait of the Captain would be a nude portrait that she ends up doing from memory after they become lovers, you’ve really never watched an episode of The Love Boat before.  Fortunately, it’s also an abstract painting and no one knows that they’re looking at a nude painting of the Captain.  In fact, the painting is so abstract that I get the feeling that the cruise line isn’t going to demand its money back.  This story was entertaining due to how uncomfortable Stubing was with being painted.  Gavin MacLeod did a good job portraying his nervousness and his panic when he discovered the painting was about to be unveiled made me chuckle a little.

Overall, this was kind of a bland episode.  But at least the scenery was pleasant.  It still provided a nice hour away from reality.

The Films of 2025: The Calendar Killer (dir by Adolfo J. Kolmerer)


Germany is living in a state of terror.  A serial killer known as The Calendar Killer has been brutally murdering people across the country.  The killer leaves the date of the murder on the wall, written in his victim’s blood.  His victims are given the choice between killing their husband or being killed themselves.  Hey, Calendar Kill — not everyone’s a murderer, okay!?  Seriously, what a jerk.

(As a sidenote, who knew that Saw was popular enough to inspire a copycat in Germany?  Cinema truly is the international art form.)

A few days ago, Klara (Luise Heyer) woke to a terrifying message on a wall, telling her that either she or husband would die on December 6th.  Now, it’s December 6th and Klara is walking home at night.  She calls a helpline for women who are outside and alone at night.  Jules (Sabin Tambrea) answers.  Even though Jules is soft-spoken and careful to choose his words with sensitivity, Klara is hesitant to tell her about either the Calendar Killer or her husband.  When Jules finally coaxes the details out of her, she reveals that she is married to Martin (Friedrich Mucke).  Martin is an prominent politician but he’s an abusive husband, one who forced Klara to take part in a humiliating orgy that was apparently inspired by watching Eyes Wide Shut one too many times.

(Saw and Eyes Wide Shut, we now know what’s inspiring the Germans.)

Klara is not only fleeing the Calendar Killer but her husband as well.  When she attempts to commit suicide, Jules begs her to live and to keep fighting.  Jules talks about his own tragic past, about how his wife committed suicide and he lost a child in a fire that broke out the same night.  Even though Jules is not supposed to leave his apartment and is having quite a few personal issues of his own, he sets out to find Klara.

The Calendar Killer gets off to a good start but it goes off the rails as it progresses.  There’s a few too many coincidences and the big twist is one that you will see coming from miles away.  The problem with the twist isn’t that it’s predictable as much as it’s one that makes less and less sense the more that you think about it.  It makes you realize just how implausible the whole Calendar Killer thing is.  There are a few genuinely creepy scenes and Luise Heyer is a sympathetic heroine but, in the end, the film is never as thought-provoking or emotionally moving as it presents itself as being.  The film attempts to end on a note of empowerment but it doesn’t quite feel earned.  If the film had fully embraced its grindhouse potential, it would have been an entertaining B-movie with a worthy message.  Instead, it strikes an uneasy balance between being a bloody horror film and being a message film and, as a result, it really doesn’t feel like it truly commits to either.

It’s a shame.  The film definitely had potential but, in the end, it just doesn’t come together.

Song of the Day: Next Big Thing by California Dreams


Oh, why not?

The Oscar nominations are due to be announced tomorrow and right now, I think everyone’s waiting to see who will be the next big thing.  In honor of the occasion, here is Tony Wickes and the California Dreams with today’s song of the day.

All together now …. he’s so funky!

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Jim Jarmusch Edition


4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy birthday of one of the most important and independently minded filmmakers of the past 40 years, Jim Jarmusch!

It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Jim Jarmusch Films

Stranger Than Paradise (1984, dir by Jim Jarmusch, DP: Tom DiCillo)

Down by Law (1986, dir by Jim Jarmusch, DP: Robby Muller)

Dead Man (1995, dir by Jim Jarmusch, DP: Robby Muller)

The Dead Don’t Die (2019, dir by Jim Jarmusch, DP: Frederick Elmes)

Music Video of the Day: Heart of Glass by The Associates (1988, dir by ????)


This video popped up in my YouTube recommendations, I assume because I’ve been watching a lot of Blondie videos recently.  This has an enjoyably weird feel to it, with its caged clown on a typewriter and all the other carnival folks.  I relate to the woman at the start of the video.  That’s definitely the job and costume that I would want if I worked for a traveling circus.

Enjoy!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.3 “No Man’s Land”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

It’s time for another trip to the beach!

Episode 1.3 “No Man’s Land”

(Dir by Michael Levine and John Bush, originally aired on March 16th, 1996)

Uh-oh!  There’s Nazis on the beach.

We know that Carl (Ryan Alosio) is a Nazi because he owns a bar that is decorated, on the outside, with a swastika.  Then, on the inside, there are many more swastikas and a German flag and a picture of Adolf Hitler hanging on the wall.  My question is who sold the bar to Carl and how exactly is he not violating any zoning laws?  Throughout the show, we’re constantly told that Carl can do whatever he wants on his property but don’t most towns have rules about what you can and cannot display in a business district?  We’re told that Carl has a criminal record and his arms are covered in Nazi tattoos so, once again, I have to wonder who sold him the bar.  There are a lot regulations and paperwork involved in opening up your own small business.  That’s especially true if your business is going to be selling alcohol.  I guess my point is that I just have a hard time believing that Carl’s Nazi bar would be allowed to stay open on the boardwalk.

Bizarrely, ordinary non-Nazis keep entering Carl’s Nazi bar.  Wouldn’t the swastika turn most people away?  I’m just saying that personally, I would not go in a building that was decorated with a swastika.  Anytime anyone who  is not a Nazi goes in Carl’s bar, Carl beats them up.  You really have to wonder how Carl is managing to stay in business.  I mean, let’s just accept that there’s enough Nazis in Santa Monica for Carl to have a steady customer base.  Carl is still asking those people to step into a building that is decorated with a swastika and basically announce their opinions to the world.  I would think at least some of the Santa Monica Nazis would be like, “No, I’d rather keep it a secret and go drink at a politically neutral bar.”  I mean, this isn’t some isolated club, like the place in Green Room.  This bar is sitting right in the middle of the boardwalk, where hundreds of people walk by each day.  Apparently, Santa Monica Nazis have no fear of being outed.

Like all Nazis, Carl is a jerk.  He beats up a vendor for selling churros in front of his bar.  He also harasses all of the non-white surfers.  You would think that this episode’s hero would be Officer Del Toro but instead, it falls to the very white T.C. Callaway to stand up to Carl and eventually drag him off to jail.  Callaway explains that he hates bullies.  That’s fine but it’s still more emotionally satisfying to watch a bully get beaten up by the bullied as opposed to by a concerned bystander.

We also get B-plot about a young graffiti artist named Melo (Christopher Babers) and Cory’s attempt to get Melo to see the error of his ways and instead use his artistic talent for something good.  And Mayor Mickey Dolenz spends the episode panicking because there’s an election to coming up to determine whether or not to allow on the nudity on the beach.  It’s pretty dumb but it’s hard not to smile at Mickey Dolenz playing himself.

The main problem with this episode and the show as a while is that the cops look silly riding around on their bikes.  When Cory and Victor head down a flight of stairs to catch Melo tagging a tunnel, they have to pick up and carry their bikes with them and it was hard not to laugh.  Whenever someone says, “This is Bike 1 responding,” to a crime call, I just imagine a dispatcher grimacing and thinking, I was hoping for a real cop.  Watching CHiPs and then this episode made me appreciate how much better motorcycles are than bicycles.

Lisa Marie Reviews An Oscar Nominee: The Insider (dir by Michael Mann)


In the 1999 Best Picture Nominee, The Insider, the American media takes a beating.

Al Pacino plays Lowell Bergman.  Bergman is a veteran newsman who, for several years, has been employed as a producer at 60 Minutes.  He is a strong believer in the importance of the free press and he’s proud to be associated with both 60 Minutes and CBS News.  He’s one of the few people who can manage the famously prickly correspondent, Mike Wallace (Christopher Plummer).  When we first see Bergman, he and Wallace are in the Middle East and arranging a tense interview with the head of Hezbollah.  It’s easy to see that Bergman is someone who will go anywhere and take any risk to get a story.  It’s also apparent that Bergman thinks that the people that he works with feel the same way.

That all changes when Bergman meets Jeffery Wigand (Russell Crowe), a recently fired tobacco company executive who initially agrees to serve as a consultant for one of Bergman’s story but who leaves Bergman intrigued when he reveals that, due to a strict confidentiality agreement, he’s not allowed to discuss anything about his time as an executive.  As the tobacco companies are currently being sued by ambitious state attorney generals like Mississippi’s Mike Moore (who plays himself in the film), Bergman suspects that Wigand knows something that the companies don’t want revealed.

And, of course, Bergman is right.  Wigand was fired for specifically objecting to his company’s effort to make cigarettes more addictive, something that the tobacco industry had long claimed it wasn’t doing.  Wigand’s pride was hurt when he was fired but he knows that breaking the confidentiality agreement will mean losing his severance package and also possibly losing his marriage to Liane (Diane Venora) as well.  However, Wigand is angered by the heavy-handed techniques that his former employer uses to try to intimidate him.  He suspects that he’s being followed and he can’t even work out his frustrations by hitting a few golf balls without someone watching him.  When Wigand starts to get threats and even receives a bullet in the mail, he decides to both testify in court and give an interview to Wallace and 60 Minutes.

The only problem is that CBS, after being pressured by their lawyers and facing the risk of taking a financial loss in an upcoming sell, decides not to run the interview.  Bergman is outraged and assumes that both Mike Wallace and veteran 60 Minutes producer Don Hewitt (Philip Baker Hall) will support him.  Instead, both Wallace and Hewitt side with CBS.  Left out in the cold is Jeffrey Wigand, who has sacrificed almost everything and now finds himself being attacked as merely a disgruntled employee.

Directed by Michael Mann and based on a true story, The Insider is what is usually described as being “a movie for adults.”  Instead of dealing with car chases and super villains and huge action set pieces, The Insider is a film about ethics and what happens when a major media outlet like CBS News fails to live up to those ethics.  (No one is surprised when the tobacco company tries to intimidate and silence Wigand but the film makes clear that people — or at least people in the 90s — expected and hoped for more from the American press.)  Wigand puts his trust in Bergman and 60 Minutes largely because he believed Bergman’s promise that he would be allowed to tell his story.  It’s a promise that Bergman made in good faith but, in the end, everyone from the CBS executives to the tobacco companies is more interested in protecting their own financial future than actually telling the truth.  Wigand loses his family and his comfortable lifestyle and Bergman loses his faith in the network of Edward R. Murrow.  It’s not a particularly happy film but it is a well-made and thought-provoking one.

Pacino and Crowe both give excellent performances in the two lead roles.  Pacino, because he spends most of the film outraged, has the flashier role while Crowe plays Wigand as a rather mild-mannered man who suddenly finds himself in the middle of a national news story.  (Crowe’s performance here is one of his best, precisely because it really is the opposite of what most people expect from him.)  Crowe does not play Wigand as being a crusader but instead, as an ordinary guy who at times resents being put in the position of a whistleblower.  (Director Mann does not shy away from showing how Bergman manipulates, the reluctant Wigand into finally testifying, even if Bergman’s motives were ultimately not malicious.)  That said, the strongest performance comes from Christopher Plummer, who at first seems to be playing Mike Wallace as being the epitome of the pompous television newsman but who eventually reveals the truth underneath Wallace’s sometimes fearsome exterior.

The Insider was nominated for Best Picture.  Somehow, it lost to American Beauty.