Tag Archives: Lisa Marie Bowman

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 6.4 “The Same Wavelength/Winning Isn’t Everything/A Honeymoon for Horace”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Come aboard, we’re expecting you….

Episode 6.4 “The Same Wavelength/Winning Isn’t Everything/A Honeymoon for Horace”

(Dir by Robert Scheerer, originally aired on October 23rd, 1982)

Yeesh!  This episode!  Because I’m on vacation, I’m going to lay out the facts quickly and simply.

  • Julie’s hair still looks awful.  Seriously, she looks like she should be playing the demanding gymnastics coach in a Peter Engel-produced high school sitcom.
  • Horace (Jack Gilford) and Twinkie (Nancy Walker) board the boat.  They’re in their 80s and they’re newlyweds!  Awwwww!  Horace is nervous about his honeymoon because it’s been forever since he’s kissed a woman so he asks Julie if he can practice on her.  Julie, her eyes oddly glazed over, agrees.
  • Twinkie, who loves to party, tells Julie that she’s actually been married to Horace for 30 years and he just said that he was a newlywed to trick Julie into kissing him.
  • Later, when confronted by Doc and Julie, Horace and Twinkie confess that they’re not actually married.  However, they are brother and sister.  WHAT!?
  • Turns out that Twinkie “likes to party” and Horace “likes to kiss pretty girls” so they lied so that they could do both.
  • Horace, you’re going to jail!  Oh wait, no, he’s not.  The Love Boat crew has a good laugh over it and Julie, to be honest, seemed to be pretty coked up in this episode so perhaps she had a good reason for wanting to avoid dealing with the cops.  Okay, Julie, do what you have to do, I guess.
  • Meanwhile, psychic Tess Macgill (Connie Stevens) falls in love with passenger Mike Gordon (Charles Seibert).  Unfortunately, Mike is still in love with his wife, despite the fact that they’re now separated.  It’s a good thing that there’s a psychic on board to let Mike know that his marriage is over.
  • Finally, Jack Bronson (David Doyle) boards the boat with his teenage son, Chip (Matthew Labyorteaux).  Jack is an old friend of Captain Stubing’s and he’s convinced that winning is everything!  As for Stubing, he’s just happy that Vicki will finally have someone her own age to spend some time with.  I’m happy too.  Seriously, Vicki hardly ever gets to talk to anyone under the age of 50.
  • Jack is convinced that Chip is a world-class athlete but that’s just because Chip has been lying to his father.
  • Vicki is great a table tennis.  Jack pressures Chip to play her.  Chip fakes a wrist injury to get out of it.
  • Eventually, Chip tells his father the truth and Jack realizes that he’s been pushing his son way too much.  That’s not a bad lesson but David Doyle is miscast as a competition-obsessed father.  He comes across as being too nice.  Jack is a role for Bo Svenson.

This episode …. bleh.  The psychic story was bland and the story with the elderly siblings was creepy.  The Jack and Chip story was, at least, tolerable.  Julie’s terrible new haircut continues to annoy me.  This was not the best cruise in the history of The Love Boat.

Scenes That I Love: Howard Beale says “We’re In A Lot Of Trouble” in Network

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Everyone remembers the “Mad as Hell Speech” from Sidney Lumet’s 1976 satire, Network.

Personally, I think this scene below is just as good.  Replace “tube” with TikTok and AI and you’ll have a pretty good explanation for why the world today is full of so many ignorant people who think they know more than they do.

(Usually, heavy-handed scenes annoy me.  Fortunately, much like David Fincher with Aaron Sorkin’s script for The Social Network, Sidney Lumet knew the right directorial tone to take when translating Paddy Chayefsky’s script to the screen.  One shudders to think of what Network would have been like with a less skilled director behind the camera.)

 

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Sidney Lumet Edition

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, we celebrate the anniversary of the birth of director Sidney Lumet, born 101 years ago on this date.  It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Sidney Lumet Films

Long Day’s Journey Into Night (1962, dir by Sidney Lumet, DP: Boris Kaufman)

Dog Day Afternoon (1975, dir by Sidney Lumet, DP: Victor J. Kemper)

Network (1976, dir. Sidney Lumet, DP: Owen Roizman)

The Verdict (1981, dir by Sidney Lumet, DP: Andrzej Bartkowiak)

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 2.8 “Undercover”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, Chris goes undercover.

Episode 2.8 “Undercover”

(Dir by Terrence H. Winkless, originally aired on October 13th, 1996)

A smarmy detective wants Chris to go undercover to help investigate a suspected money launderer, Tim Wakefield (Scott Plank).  Palermo argues that Chris doesn’t have enough experience to work undercover but the detective asks Chris, “What do you want to do?  You ready to get out of those bicycle shorts and do some real police work?”

I have to admit that line cracked me up.  It really made the whole episode.  Palermo got offended, as he always does whenever anyone points out that bike cops look silly with their shorts and their crisp white shirts.  What was great about the line was that it was true.  The detective may have been smarmy but he was right about Chris being invited to do “real police work” and he was right about bike cops not being real policemen.  Everyone know it’s true!  Seriously, if a bicycle cop ever tries to pull you over, just slam down on the accelerator.  What are they going to do?  Chase you when you’re going over 30 mph?  I think not!

(Seriously, two seasons in and the show is still trying to convince us that bike cops are real cops.  Sorry, Palermo, it’s not going to happen!)

That said, this episode’s main plot still ended up falling flat because Chris is not a very interesting character and her whole undercover thing wasn’t particularly credible.  When she went undercover, she still came across as being just as stiff, humorless, and unlikable as when she’s riding her bike and threatening people with arrest.  Tim Wakefield, of course, fell for her and Chris was supposed to be attracted to him and conflicted about her assignment and I never bought it for a second.

(As for Wakefield, he turned out to be not as bad of a guy as everyone assumed.  He was arrested but his lawyer got him off and the episode ended with him sending Chris a postcard from some tropical beach.  I think Chris was supposed to be wistful as she looked at the postcard but, since Darlene Vogel was apparently only capable of one facial expression, who knows for sure?)

Meanwhile, Cory dealt with being stalked by a mentally unstable ex-boyfriend,  Wasn’t it just last week that Cory’s partner was being stalked by a mentally unstable woman?  This show certainly does enjoy repeating itself.  While Palermo worried about Chris, TC and Victor chased some roller-blading teens who were shooting random tourists with paintballs.  The roller-blading scenes were kind of exciting but, unfortunately, they had to share space with all of the awkward bicycle scenes.

This episode had its moments.  The roller-blading was cool.  The detective making fun of Palermo was gratifying.  Overall, though, the fact that the show centers around bicycles continues to be a flaw that simply cannot be overcome.  There’s simply no way to make anyone riding a bicycle look impressive, I don’t care how serious they try to look.

Sorry, Pacific Blue.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.20 “What’s The Matter With Kids/Island of Horror”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, it’s zombie time!

Episode 6.20 “What’s The Matter With Kids/Island of Horror”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on April 16th, 1983)

Dr. Stuart Wharton (Steve Allen) is a tightass stick-in-the-mud who has come to Fantasy Island to give a lecture on how to raise the perfect child.  His wife, Margaret (Jayne Meadows Allen), is sick of Dr. Wharton telling people how to live their lives and basically threatens to leave his condescending ass if he doesn’t allow her to adopt Andy (Justin Henry), who is not perfect but who is still better than any of the imaginary perfect children that Dr. Wharton has written and lectured about.  This fantasy was predictable and kind of boring.  Jayne Meadows Allen actually wrote the script so it’s interesting that the whole fantasy is basically her telling off her husband and accusing him of being a pompous jackass.

There is one interesting scene where Mr. Roarke talks about Stuart’s idea of the perfect child and the kid suddenly appears out of thin air.  Mr. Roarke also makes the kid disappear.  Mr. Roarke is all-powerful!

(So, you may be wondering, why Roarke doesn’t just use his God-like powers in every episode?  I think he wants his guests to sometimes lean a lesson on their own.  I always hate it when people try to make me learn something.  Sorry, Roarke.)

Meanwhile Erica Nelson (Gayle Hunnicutt) goes to a neighboring island in search of her missing fiancé, Dr. Richard Yates (Christopher Connelly).  Uh-oh!  The Island’s controlled by a mad scientist named Dr. Christophe (Jared Martin)!  And Dr. Christophe is into voodoo!

That’s right, there are zombies all over the place!  And one of the zombies is Erica’s husband!  Fortunately, it turns out that zombification is not a permanent condition and Erica is eventually able to cure her husband while the remaining zombies descend upon Dr. Christophe.

I liked this fantasy.  The island was atmospheric and, by Fantasy Island standards, the zombies were actually pretty effective.  The scene of them rising from their graves was surprisingly well-done and I also appreciated that Jared Martin totally embraced the melodrama in the role of Dr. Christophe.  This fantasy also featured a great moment where Roarke appeared on the Island to inform Erica that the zombies were coming and then he promptly vanished.  I love it when Roarke does that

(Of course, I don’t think that Erica was ever in any real danger.  I mean, this episode established that Roarke can conjure people out of thin air.  I’m sure he could have just snapped his fingers and made all the zombies vanish.  But, in typical Roarke fashion, he wanted Erica to learn a lesson.)

The orphan fantasy was annoying but I like zombies!  This was a good trip to the Island.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.24 “Dynamite Alley”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, season 3 comes to an end.

Episode 3.24 “Dynamite Alley”

(Dir by Bruce Kessler, originally aired on March 30th, 1980)

After testifying in a trial in Bakersfield, Bonnie (Randi Oakes) is driving back to Los Angeles when, somehow, she ends up flipping her squad car.  In the hospital, Bonnie swears that she had to swerve suddenly to avoid a truck that came out of nowhere.  The only witness to Bonnie’s accident is a pre-adolescent named Corey (Bryan Scott), who was watching as Bonnie drove by his house.  Corey says that he saw the truck but Ponch and Jon come to suspect that he might be lying because he doesn’t want Bonnie to get in trouble.  Meanwhile, Grossman is writing an article on how tired drivers can hallucinate seeing other vehicles and he comes to suspect that this is what happened to Bonnie.

And he’s right!  It’s interesting that, just last season, CHiPs did an entire episode about proving that Sindy Cahill was not responsible for a crash she was involved with.  Meanwhile, this season ends with an episode that’s all about Bonnie being a menace on the streets.  Of course, event though Bonnie flipped her car after imagining seeing a truck in front of her, she gets to keep her job and everyone has a good laugh about it.

My main issue with this episode is that Corey was 1) portrayed as having a stutter and 2) nicknamed Blabbermouth by everyone he knew, even the characters who were supposed to be sympathetic to him.  When he showed up in the hospital to confess that he didn’t really see a truck push Bonnie off the road, Bonnie replies, “Oh, Blabbermouth.”  Even Jon and Ponch call him Blabbermouth.  As a former stutterer, this episode really annoyed me.

As for our B-plot, the “funny car show” is in town.  All sorts of weird vehicles show up on the streets.  One man tries to drive a tank to the show and people start throwing bottles at him.  When Baker and Ponch show up to investigate the tank, Baker nearly gets hit by a glass bottle that’s thrown at him by two kids.  Ponch grabs one of the kids but then just laughs and lets him leave.  Really, Ponch?  BAKER COULD HAVE LOST AN EYE!

And that’s how the third season ended, with Bonnie crashing her squad car because she had a hallucination and a poor kid with a stutter being called “Blabbermouth” by the police.  That’s not the best way to end a season.

Season 4 starts next week!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.8 “Like A Hurricane”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

Crockett gets married!  Huh?

Episode 4.8 “Like a Hurricane”

(Dir by Colin Bucksey, originally aired on November 20th, 1987)

Crockett is upset when he’s assigned to serve as a bodyguard to singer Caitlin Davies (Sheena Easton).  Caitlin is a witness to the criminal activity of music industry executive Tommy Lowell (Xander Berkeley) and the Vice Squad is worried that he might send someone to kill her.  Crockett doesn’t have much use for celebrities and Caitlin doesn’t have much use for a cop continually telling her what to do.  But after Crockett saves Caitlin’s life multiple times, they fall in love and the episode ends with Crockett and Caitlin getting married.

Wow, Crockett got married!

I mean, is Caitlin going to live on his boat?  Is the crocodile going to be okay with this?  For that matter, wouldn’t the fact that he just married a celebrity make it difficult for Crockett to continue his undercover work as Sonny Burnett?  I mean, I imagine there was a lot of press coverage of the marriage.  Caitlin, we’re told, is a pretty big deal.

Honestly, Crockett getting married should have been a big moment but this episode just fell flat.  The main problem is that Don Johnson and Sheena Easton didn’t have much romantic chemistry so their sudden love for each felt as if it came out of nowhere.  Sonny getting married that quickly seemed a bit out-of-character for him.  This episode, like much of season 4, felt like it was mostly the result of the writers grasping at straws to find something new to do with the show.  Last week, Trudy got kidnapped by aliens.  This week, Crockett got married.  Maybe next week, Tubbs will take on the Yakuza.  Who knows?  At this point, it all feels random.

We’ll see what happens.  For now, here’s Sheena Easton performing one of my favorite Bond songs.

Scenes That I Love: Bob Fosse’s All That Jazz

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s scene that I love comes from Bob Fosse’s 1979 masterpiece, All That Jazz.  This scene features the legendary Ann Reinking at her best.  Roy Scheider said that he cried after shooting this scene.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Bob Fosse Edition

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, we celebrate the birth and legacy of Bob Fosse.  It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Bob Fosse Films

Cabaret (1972, dir by Bob Fosse, DP: Geoffrey Unsworth)

Lenny (1974, dir by Bob Fosse, DP: Bruce Surtees)

All That Jazz (1979, dir by Bob Fosse, DP: Giuseppe Rotunno)

Star 80 (1983, dir by Bob Fosse, DP: Sven Nyvkist)

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi High 2.7 “The All Nighter”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1989 to 1991!  The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi

This week, it’s drugs and poker!

Episode 2.7 “The All Nighter”

(Dir by Eleanore Lindo, originally aired on December 16th, 1990)

This week’s episodes tells the story of several all-nighters.

Alex, who is now apparently a major character, pulls an all-nighter to write a last-minute essay, one that he was assigned over a month ago.  Hey, we’ve all been there!  Luckily, he gets it written.  Because this episode aired at the end of the 80s, he has write on an old timey typewriter.  I like old typewriters.  I can’t imagine writing with one — seriously, how did people correct typos back then? — but I do like the look and the sound of them.

Luke, Yick, Joey, and Arthur play poker at Luke’s house.  (Apparently, everyone’s forgiven Luke for giving Shane the LSD that caused Shane to plunge to his near death last year.)  At first, Luke doesn’t want to invite Arthur  but Yick talks him into it.  Arthur turns out to be a poker hustler and soon, he’s made over $15 in dimes.  Myself, I don’t think I’ve ever won a hand at poker.  I’m good at blackjack, though!

Finally, the most important all-nighter is the one that Maya, Melanie, Caitlin, and Kathleen hold for Diana’s birthday!  Woo hoo!  Birthday all-nighter’s are the best!  However, in this case, Kathleen decides to bring two joints to the party.  Kathleen explains that she and Scott used to smoke weed all the time.  (Uhmm….okay.  I remember Scott and he really didn’t seem like a stoner.)  Luke made the mistake of trying to hide his stash in the tampon machine in the girl’s bathroom, which is how Kathleen got her hands on it.

Everyone, except for Caitlin, plays truth or dare while passing around the joint.  Uh-oh, can you see where this is going?  While Diana complains that she’s not feeling anything, Melanie decides that she’s stoned enough to reveal that she read Kathleen’s diary and that Kathleen has anorexia, an alcoholic mother, an abusive boyfriend, and a therapist.  Kathleen gets upset and runs outside.  Caitlin comforts her while Melanie giggles inside.

And again, I think just about everyone has been there.  From my own high school experiences, weed drama usually didn’t involve people who were actually stoned as much as it involved inexperienced smokers who were trying to convince themselves that they were stoned and who inevitably ended up doing something stupid as a result.  Melanie, for instance, I don’t think was anywhere near as stoned as she was trying to act.  For someone who has never smoked weed before, it apparently only took Melanie a few minutes to start talking about “the munchies.”  Her giggly betrayal of Kathleen was more about her thinking she was “so high” other than actually being high.  Still, the damage was done.  This episode ends with Melanie apologizing to Kathleen and Kathleen walking away without saying a word.

(While we’re on the subject of weed, I have to admit that I kind of lost interest in it once it started getting legalized and became socially acceptable.)

Anyway, this was a good episode.  I appreciated that it didn’t go for any of the usual melodrama that teen shows usually resort to when it comes to people experimenting with drugs.  Degrassi High’s strength is its nonjudgmental attitude and that was on display in this episode.

Next week, Wheels wears out his welcome at Joey’s house …. again!