Conspiracy Theory (1997, directed by Richard Donner)


Jerry (Mel Gibson) is the taxi driver that most people would dread getting stuck with.  He’s obsessed with conspiracies, ranting and raving as he drives his passengers around New York City.  The moon landing was fake, he says.  The New World Order is real.  Fluoridation in mind control.  Freemasons control the world.  Black helicopters patrol the skies.  Implausibly, Justice Department lawyer Alice Sutton (Julia Roberts) enjoys listening to Jerry’s paranoid monologues but she finds them to be a lot less amusing when they turn out to be true.  Soon, she and Jerry are being pursued by Dr. Jonas (Patrick Stewart), the head of MK-Ultra and the man who bred Jerry to eventually become an assassin.

Conspiracy Theory has a good premise and a great Mel Gibson performance and Patrick Stewart is entertaining as the main bad guy.  Though it really is just a slightly above average 90s action film, Conspiracy Theory is still a movie that seems prophetic.  Many of Jerry’s theories were obscure and not well-known when the movie was first released, nearly 30 years ago.  Today, a lot of them have been popularized by social media and podcasts.  Conspiracies have gone mainstream.  Jerry would love listening to Joe Rogan today.  In fact, Jerry would probably have a podcast of his own.  Because the movie was released in 1997, a lot of the things that Jerry talks about feel quaint and almost old-fashioned when you compare them to what Jerry would be ranting about today.  Compared to today’s anti-vaxxers and 9-11 truthers, Jerry’s fear of the black helicopters seems harmless.  Or, at least, it does until the black helicopters suddenly show up in the middle of a chase scene, nearly invisible in the night sky.

Conspiracy Theory can’t really hold up to Richard Donner’s best films.  There aren’t as many memorable lines as in Lethal Weapon and it never finds the same balance between kitsch and art that Donner was able to find with both The Omen and Superman.  Donner still gets some good moments, like the opening montage where Jerry scares the Hell out of a yuppie passenger played by Alex McArthur.  I wish Conspiracy Theory had followed its premise through to its natural conclusion instead of having Jerry suddenly turn into what was then a typical Mel Gibson action hero.  (Today, of course, it would probably be much easier for audiences to accept the idea of Gibson playing a mentally ill, paranoid conspiracy theorist.)  Overall, though, both the movie and the theories hold your interest.

 

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 3.19 “Normal People”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Jonathan and Mark help out at a halfway house.

Episode 3.19 “Normal People”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on February 11th,  1987)

This week, Jonathan and Mark find themselves assigned to work as handymen at a halfway house for patients who have recently been released from a mental hospital but who are still not quite ready to reenter the society.  As usual, Mark is skeptical about working with anyone outside of his comfort zone but Jonathan soon shows him the error of his ways.  It seems like almost every assignment was really about teaching Mark to be more tolerant of people who were different than him.

The neighbors aren’t happy about having a halfway house in their neighborhood.  They vandalize the yard.  They blame the patients for every little thing.  When some neighborhood kids accidentally start a fire, the blame is put on a teenager at the halfway house.  Jonathan encourages the patients to try to leave the house and socialize and show everyone that they are just like normal people.  Jonathan also punishes one snobbish neighbor by causing her to have mishap with a stack of melons at a grocery store.  I’ve noticed that, during the third season, Jonathan and the Boss seem to take an extra delight in humiliating people.

Eventually, the stupid kids start another fire, which gives one of the patients that chance to save their lives.  It also reveals that the patient was not responsible for the earlier fires.  Everyone comes to realize the error of the ways.  Hurray!

This was a good example of how Highway to Heaven‘s earnestness often made up for scripts that were a bit obvious and heavy-handed.  There’s nothing subtle about this episode but it’s still so achingly sincere in its message of tolerance that it’s hard not appreciate it.  The show’s good intentions stand the test of time.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.6 “Takedown”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

Who cares?  Roll the opening credits.

Episode 1.6 “Takedown”

(Dir by Terrence O’Hara, originally aired on April 6th, 1996)

Three dangerous criminals are holding up stores in …. oh Hell.  Where does this show take place?  I know it’s in California but what’s the name of the town?  Malibu?  Is that it?  Hold on, let me check with Wikipedia….

SANTA MONICA!  That’s where this show takes place.

See, that’s the type of show that Pacific Blue is.  I am now six episodes into this show and I’m still can’t tell you where it specifically takes place.  It’s not that they haven’t mentioned that the show is set in Santa Monica.  And considering that I even attended Saint Monica School for a semester, you would think that I would be able to remember it.  But Pacific Blue is such a generic show that it’s difficult to really remember a thing about it.  It fades from your memory within seconds of being watched.  About the only thing that really sticks with the viewer about this show is how stupid everyone looks on their bicycles with their tight white shirts and their blue shorts.  The fact that Rick Rossovich plays their leader with a perpetual air of grim determination only serves to make them seem even more ridiculous.  Cops are supposed to look intimidating.  That’s one reason why a lot of people don’t like them.  These cops just look like the type of douchebags you dread getting stuck behind in traffic.

As for this episode, three dangerous criminals are holding up stores in Santa Monica.  Somehow, they always manage to escape right before the cops show up.  Maybe that’s because the cops are all on bicycles and they have to steer across crowded sidewalks without even having the benefit of a siren to tell people to get out of the way.  What’s odd is that no one ever seems to notice the criminals until they pull out their guns.  These are three extremely scruffy criminals, all of whom are clad in clothes that don’t appear to have been washed in days.  Are you seriously telling me no one would notice that on the beach in San Diego or wherever this freaking show takes place?

If I was a store owner who got robbed at gunsight and who then called the police, nothing would piss me off more than having the bicycle cops respond.  Seriously, you need a car to chase criminals!  All the criminals have to do is wait for the bike cops to pull a muscle or ride over a stick in the middle of the road and then they’ll be home free.  If I get robbed, give me the real cops!

TC gets upset when one of the criminals points a gun at him.  Lt. Palermo encourages him to stop being stoic and get in touch with his feelings and …. oh, who cares?  Freaking bicycle cops.  While that’s going on, Chris takes a creative writing class and dates her professor (Zach Galligan).  From what we hear of Chris’s literary efforts, she has no talent whatsoever.  She was such a bad writer that I literally got angry while she reading her story.  I wanted the professor to throw something at her.  Also, Victor del Toro falls in love with a model (Krista Allen) and even gets a date with her, despite his dumbass bicycle.

Where does this show take place again?  Malibu?

Anyway, this was just another episode about the most useless cops ever.