Lisa’s Picks For The 10 Worst Films of 2018


 

Well, I guess it’s finally that time!

It’s time for me to finally post my picks for the best (and worst) of 2018.  This is something that I do every year.  Usually, I manage to do it before the third week of January but I’ve been running behind.  I’ll be posting my film, television, book, and music picks throughout today and maybe into tomorrow, depending on how long it takes me to narrow down my choices.

Let’s start with my picks for the 10 worst films of 2018!  Now, I have to admit that 2018 was not really a big year for bad films.  It wasn’t really a big year for good films, either.  2018 was just kind of a middle-of-the-road year altogether.  Below are my picks for the worst.  Some of you will agree and some will disagree.  In the end, what truly matters is that I’m right.

(Also be sure to check out my picks for 20172016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, and 2010!)

10. Holmes & Wason

9. Fifty Shades Freed

8. Pacific Rim: Uprising

7. Vice — I’m fully aware that this film is being hailed by some as the best of the year.  I found it to be painfully smug and overlong.  It was like watching The Big Short have roid rage.

6. Deep Blue Sea 2

5. 6 Balloons — Drug addicts are so tedious to watch.

4. Red Sparrow — I’m really starting to worry about Jennifer Lawrence.  She’s still a good actress but she seems to spend more time coming up with embarrassing late night talk show anecdotes than actually finding good scripts.

3. Den of Thieves

2. The Happytime Murders — Oh my God, did you know muppets could curse and fuck!?  My mind is blown!

And finally, the worst film of 2018 is ….

1. Life Itself

Life Itself is basically what This Is Us is going to turn into by the time it gets around to its sixth season.

So, those are my picks for the worst films of 2018.  You may agree.  You may disagree.  I love you either way.

Film Review: Holmes & Watson (dir by Etan Cohen)


Will Ferrell is Sherlock Holmes!

John C. Reilly is John Watson!

Together, they get really bad reviews!

Well, that and solve crimes and protect royalty.  Holmes & Watson, which came out this previous Christmas, features Sherlock and John attempting to prevent Professor Moriarty (Ralph Fiennes) from assassinating Queen Victoria.  Watson, being the proud Englishman that he is, is an obsessive fan of Queen Victoria.  In fact, he’s such a fan that, upon meeting her, he insists that she pose for a “self-photography” with him and Holmes.  Of course, cameras back then were a lot bigger and more bulkier than cameras today so Watson ends up bashing the Queen in the head.  Watson and Holmes are terrified that they’ve killed the Queen.  But then she wakes up.  That’s the joke.

Holmes & Watson isn’t so much a parody of the original Sherlock Holmes stories as much as it’s a parody of the Guy Ritchie films that almost everyone has already forgotten about.  Of course, it can be argued that the Guy Ritchie films were, themselves, parodies which makes Holmes & Watson a parody of a parody.  (Now, we just need someone to parody Holmes & Watson so that the universe can collapse in on itself.)  As a result, the film opens with a young Sherlock Holmes being tricked into kissing a donkey’s ass and then it progresses to an adult Holmes using his deductive powers to deduce that a man is a compulsive masturbator.  The film never seems to be quite sure if its version of Holmes is meant to be an eccentric genius or an overrated bungler and Will Ferrell’s inconsistent performance doesn’t help matters.  When Holmes starts to incorrectly suspect that Watson has betrayed him, we don’t know if we’re supposed to share Watson’s feeling of betrayal or if this is just another case of Holmes being a brilliant idiot.  The film doesn’t seem to know either.

In the role of Watson, John C. Reilly is expected to do most of the dramatic heavy lifting.  He gets several scenes in which he discusses how difficult it is to always be the sidekick.  It’s a role that Reilly has played in several other films and perhaps that explains why he seems so bored in this movie.  We’re all kind of used to Will Ferrell being an inconsistent performer but it’s far more depressing to see John C. Reilly sleepwalking through a film.

Anyway, Holmes & Watson is not a film that I normally would have wasted my time seeing but, with so many people proclaiming it to be not only the worst film of 2018 but the worst film of all time, I felt that I had a certain obligation to do so.  After all, I’ll be posting my worst of and best of lists over this upcoming week and Holmes & Watson seemed like it would be a legitimate contender for one of those lists.  Having now seen the film, I can say that it’s pretty bad.  Unfortunately, unlike some other bad films, it’s also rather dull and forgettable.  It’s certainly far more dull than any film featuring John C. Reilly, Ralph Fiennes, Rebecca Hall, Hugh Laurie, Steve Coogan, and Kelly MacDonald has any right to be.  It’s a comedy where so many of the jokes fall flat that even the jokes that do work kind of suffer just by association.  Usually, I would have laughed at the film’s Billy Zane cameo but I was still annoyed by the film’s unnecessary musical number so I merely chuckled.

If Holmes & Watson has a saving grace, it is that it’s just a silly comedy.  It’s not really pompous enough to justify the claim that some have made that it’s the worst film of all time.  It’s neither as smug as Vice nor as pretentious as Life Itself.  In fact, it’s not even the worst comedy of the year.  (That honor would belong to The Happytime Murders.)  What Holmes & Watson is, is a huge disappointment.  With all the talent involved, you would hope that the film would be a bit more memorable.

Weekly Trailer Round-Up: Dark Phoenix, Holmes & Watson, Bumblee, Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindenwald, They Shall Not Grow Old


The biggest trailer that dropped this week was the trailer for Creed II, which Lisa shared on Wednesday.  Here’s the best of the rest.

The X-Men franchise has seen so,e impressive highs (First Class, Days of Future Past) and some astounding lows (Last Stand, Apocalypse).  Hopefully, the upcoming Dark Phoenix will be another high.  Based on one of the comic’s best known storylines, Dark Phoenix would seem to have all the ingredients for success with the only question mark being first time director Simon Kinberg.  Dark Phoenix will be released on February 14th.

Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly are together again as Holmes & Watson.  Holmes & Watson will be released on November 9th, just in time to help you laugh away your Election Day blues.

Everyone’s favorite transformer gets a brand new trailer for his upcoming solo project, Bumblebee.  Bumblebee will be released this Christmas.

For those who have still not gotten over the conclusion of the Harry Potter films, Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald will be coming for your money on November 16th.

Finally, we have the trailer for Peter Jackson’s upcoming documentary, They Shall Not Grow Old.  Jackson has taken footage that was actually shot during World War I, colorized it, and added sound, in order to let modern audiences experience, for themselves, the infamous War to End All Wars.  They Shall Not Grow Old will be released on October 16th in the UK.