Coming soon: Bleh, Agck, and Yay! (And don’t forget Harry Potter!)

Posted on June 17, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

When you go to the movies as much as I do, you realize and very quickly accept that you’re going to end up seeing certain trailers a few thousand times before you actually get to see the film being advertised. (By this point, I can pretty much recite that trailer for Cowboys and Aliens by heart.) In the case of a good trailer, this can make an otherwise forgettable film into a must-see event. And, in the case of a bad trailer, it can literally make you shout out at “Agck!” at the thought of having to sit through it again.

What follows are three trailers that, as of late, I’ve found myself sitting through on multiple occasions. The first one makes me go “bleh,” the second makes me say “Agck,” and the third inspires a cautious but hopeful little “Yay!”

First off, here’s Page One. This is one of those trailers that you look at and you think, “Everyone in this trailer is so physically unattractive that this must be a documentary.” And it is!

I have a feeling that Page One is going to be widely acclaimed and it’ll probably win awards from the same people who thought the shrill Inside Job was more thought-provoking than Exit From The Gift Shop. That said, I can’t help but admit that watching this trailer inspires me to say, “Who cares?” Seriously, yet another documentary where a bunch of old people whine about how they’re no longer relavent? Yeah, sounds thrilling.

In fact, the prospect of sitting through Page One sounds almost as thrilling as sitting through a movie, made by the same people who gave us 2012 and The Day After Tomorrow, about the authorship of Shakespeare’s plays.

Anonymous, I imagine, will be quite popular with people who found the Da Vinci Code to be a mind-blowing experience.

Luckily, all is not lost. True, it does appear that we’ve got a lot of Anonymous films in our future, but we’ve also got Another Earth.

I have to admit that, just on the basis of this trailer (which I’ve caught a handful times down at both the Dallas and Plano Angelika theaters), Another Earth is the film that I’m probably most looking forward to seeing (with the exception, of course, of Harry Potter.) When compared to the self-importance of the trailer for Page One and the almost comical slickness of the trailer for Anonymous, the the low-key aesthetic of the trailer for Another Earth feels almost defiant.

Obviously, there have been many bad films that have had wonderfully effective trailers. In fact, I’d be willing to say that 75% of most movies actually work better as a 2 minute trailer as opposed to as a 2-hour film. And some good films have had terrible trailers.

In theory, Page One could turn out to be the greatest documentary since Exit Through The Gift Shop and maybe Anonymous will prove that Roland Emmerich is actually an artist as opposed to just a wealthy pyromaniac. I certainly hope that’s the case because, believe it or not, I’d much rather sit through a good film than a bad one.

However, on the basis of trailer alone, of all the upcoming films that don’t feature Harry Potter and Voldermort, Another Earth is the film I’m most looking forward to.

Speaking of which, here’s the 2nd trailer for the film of 2011: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2:

The Winners At Cannes

Posted on May 22, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The winners of this year’s Cannes Film Festival have been announced and it’s good news for Kirsten Dunst and Terrence Malick, the director of Palme d’Or winner Tree of Life.. I’ve seen the Tree of Life trailer about a thousand times at the Plano Angelika and to be honest, I haven’t been very enthused about it. On the one hand, Terrence Malick is a legendary director and the film looks visually quite stunning. On the other hand, the trailer also features a kid with a heavy country accent (and I’m not hating here, I’ve got quite a twang myself) going “Mother, Father, always you fight within me,” and when I hear dialogue like that, I’m just kinda like, “Uh-oh.” The trailer itself features a lot of quite interesting and tense family scenes mixed in with a lot of scenes that seem rather New Agey. I’d go into my feelings about new agey films but I don’t want to upset our readers in Vermont.

Kirsten Dunst (who may be on the verge of a comeback of sorts and good for her) won for a film directed by Lars Von Trier and I wonder if the award was, in any way, meant to protest Von Trier being previously declared a “non-person” at Cannes because of a press conference where he may or may not (I haven’t been following the story closely enough to take a side) have said he was a Nazi. (While I can’t say whether or not Von Trier is a Nazi, I can say that I loved Dancer in the Dark, Breaking the Waves, and Zentropa and I hated Dogville and I’m scared to see AntiChrist.)

Anyway, here’s the winners:

Palme d’Or: The Tree of Life (Terrence Malick)
Grand Prix(a tie): Le Gaumin au Velo (Dardennes brothers) & Once Upon a Time in Anataolia (Nuri Bilge Ceylan)
Best Director: Nicholas Winding Refn (Drive)
Best Actor: Jean Dujardin (The Artist)
Best Actress: Kirsten Dunst (Melancholia)
Prix du Jury: Polisse (Maïwenn)
Prix du scènario / Best Screenplay: Hearat Shulayim (Joseph Cedar)
Camera d’Or (Best First Film): Las Acacias (Pablo Giorgelli)
Un Certain Regard : Prix Spécial du Jury / Special Jury Prize : Elena (Andrey Zvyagintsev)
Best Short Film: Cross Country

Just a heads up, Arleigh — next year, I’m going to get down on my knees and crawl all the way over to California just so I can beg you to send me to Cannes. 🙂

Six Trailers of the Supermoon

Posted on March 20, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Picture of supermoon taken by Erin Nicole Bowman

Apparently, as I sit here in my underwear and glasses, the Earth is about as close to the moon as it will ever get. Because of that, the moon is huge out in the night sky. Or at least that’s what I’m hearing. It looks pretty normal to me but anyway, this is being referred to as being “Supermoon.” I’m not sure why. If I stood less than an inch from your face, would that suddenly make me Super Lisa?

But anyway, this weekend’s slightly intoxicated edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers is dedicated to Supermoon.

1) Werewolves on Wheels (1971)

Of course, a gigantic full moon would bring a werewolf film with it. This is one of the thousand or so biker films to come out in the late 60s and early 70s. These films were interesting mostly from the point of view of how they mixed other genres with the biker conventions. Werewolves on Wheels did it with lycanthrophy.

2) Werewolf of Washington (1973)

Actually, since it’s a supermoon, we better include two werewolf-themed trailers. This is for the Werewolf of Washington, starring Dean Stockwell. For some reason, I’ve actually got several copies of this on DVD (I think this is one of those films that somehow found its way into the public domain) but I’ve yet to actually sit down and watch it. I think my hesitation has to do with the fact that it appears to be a political satire and it was made in the 70s. That sounds like a combination for boredom, to be honest.

3) Psych-Out (1968)

Before Dean Stockwell could become a werewolf, he had to serve as Jack Nicholson’s hippie guru in Richard Rush’s Psych-Out.

4) The Shooting (1967)

But before Jack Nicholson could become a hippie, he was a sinister gunman in Monte Hellman’s existential grindhouse western, The Shooting. The Shooting, which co-stars Warren Oates and Millie Perkins, is an unacknowledged classic and a movie that I’m going to have to review one of these days. Perkins, by the way, was married to none other than Dean Stockwell.

5) Cockfighter (1974)

And then, 7 years later, Hellman, Oates, and Perkins reunited to make an odd little film called Cockfighter. This is another film I have to review though I also have to say that, as a former country girl who has actually seen a few cockfights, cockfighting is right up there with dogfighting as far as sickening sadism is concerned.*

6) Macon County Line (1974)

And, of course, while some people in the south were going to cockfights, others were apparently getting killed by redneck lawmen in films like the ’74 classic, Macon County Line.

In honor of Supermoon, I’m going to include two extra trailers. Seriously, don’t ever doubt that Lisa loves you.

7) The Education of Sonny Carson (1974)

While rural audiences (probably made up of people I’m distantly related to) spent 1974 cheering police brutality and animal cruelty, urban grindhouse audiences were enjoying films like this one.

8 ) Bloody Moon (1981/2)

Finally, since we’re under a supermoon, here’s the trailer for Jesus Franco’s infamous (and frequently banned) slasher Bloody Moon. I haven’t seen Bloody Moon (copies aren’t that easy to find) but seriously, the involvement of Jesus Franco tells me all I probably need to know.**

—–

*If you’ve got a cock, use it to spread love, not hate.

** Well, we’ll see about that. I just ordered a copy off of Amazon.

6 Trailers To Strip Down For

Posted on March 12, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s time for another edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers. This week’s edition has no set theme beyond the fact that, in-between typing up the six trailers featured here, I was also trying on different outfits. Multi-tasking!

1) Performance

From 1970, it’s the debut film of Nicolas Roeg (though technically, he co-directed by Donald Cammell). Reportedly, acting in this film led to costar James Fox having a nervous breakdown.

2) Twitch of the Death Nerve

This is the trailer for Mario Bava’s infamous, trend-setting giallo. Bava’s preferred title for this film was Bay of Blood though it was released under several titles, including Carnage and my personal favorite, Twitch of the Death Nerve.

3) The Comeback

This 1978 film is from the criminally underrated director Pete Walker. The trailer has a similar feel to Lamerto Bava’s A Blade in the Dark. Who is Jack Jones and was he actually an international singing sensation? So many questions.

4) The Class Reunion Massacre (a.k.a. The Redeemer)

What an odd little trailer. It starts out all slasher-like and then suddenly, it decides to go all Omen.

5) The Corpse Grinders

Yup, that’s what it is alright. From directed Ted V. Mikels.

6) Candy

This trailer is from 1968, which — if you’ve seen the trailer — is kind of one of those “well, duh” facts. Based on a book by my fellow Texan Terry Southern (hence, the tag line), the film features Walter Matthau, Richard Burton, Ringo Starr, Marlon Brando, and James Coburn all taking advantage of Ewa Aulin (who, much like James Fox in Performance, reportedly had a nervous breakdown as a result of making this film). The film was directed by Christian Marquand who, years later, would play the main French Plantation Guy in Apocalypse Now Redux.

A Quickie With Lisa Marie: The Robe (dir. by Henry Koster)

Posted on March 2, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As part of my mission to view every film — good or bad — ever nominated for best picture, I spent last night watching 1953’s The Robe (which was nominated for best picture but lost to From Here To Eternity.) The Robe is an old school biblical epic, the type of film that used to regularly get nominated for best picture but which you don’t see much of anymore. If you’re wondering why that genre hasn’t stood the test of time, I’d suggest watching The Robe.

Richard Burton stars as Marcellus, a womanizing Roman centurion who falls in love with young, pure noblewoman Diana (Jean Simmons). Unfortunately, Diana is set to marry the decadent Caligula (Jay Robinson). (Yes, that Caligula…) Burton’s rivalry with Caligula leads to him being reassigned to Jerusalem where he not only witnesses the crucifixion but also wins Jesus’ robe in a dice game. However, Marcellus soon finds himself being haunted by nightmares of the crucifixion and he discovers that he can’t even wear the robe without having a seizure. His slave, Demetrius (played by musclebound Victor Mature) has secretly become a Christian and steals The Robe before disappearing into the Holy Land. As Marcellus, who believes that only by destroying the robe can he free himself from his guilt, searches for Demetrius, he is reunited with Diana and, since this is an old school biblical epic, he also ends up converting as well. Unfortunately, he does all this around the same time that Caligula becomes Emperor and (in this film if not in actual history) begins to persecute the early Christians.

The Robe was the first film to made in “Cinemascope” and, while that may have been an amazing development back in 1953, when watched today, it’s obvious how much of the film is really just made up of filler designed to show off the new process. Again, it may have been amazing at the time but today, it just seems like a slow movie. Even more importantly, The Robe itself is so reverent and respectful of its subject that it’s just not that interesting. Speaking as a nonbeliever, I’ve still sometimes feel that a lot of contemporary films make it a point to ridicule Christians because they’re an easy target. Unlike a certain other world-wide religion, most Christians aren’t going to blow you up just because you featured an image of Jesus in your movie. However, movies like The Robe were not only extremely reverent and respectful but they went out their way to let you know how reverent and respectful they were being. The result is a film that lack any hint of nuance or anything that might actually challenge the audience. It’s like Avatar with Jesus.

Since he’s best known for being an alcoholic and marrying Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton might seem like an odd choice to play an idealistic Christian martyr. And, quite frankly, he is. Throughout the film, he’s visibly uncomfortable and, quite frankly, he didn’t have the legs necessary to pull off the ancient Roman look either. Jean Simmons is also stuck playing a stock character — the virtuous maiden. As with a lot of the old school biblical epics, the lead characters are so boring that you can’t help but feel they had more fun as pagans. Meanwhile, poor Victor Mature wanders through the film struggling to show anything resembling emotion. I mean, he tries so hard that its impossible not to like him. At the very least, The Robe proves that any film featuring Victor Mature will have some sort of camp value.

(As I watched The Robe, I kept thinking about a comment that Groucho Marx supposedly made. Apparently, he said he wouldn’t watch any movie starring Victor Mature because “I won’t watch any movie where the guy’s tits are bigger than the girl’s.”)

The Robe does feature some interesting supporting performances from several wonderful B-movie character actors. Jay Robinson is obviously having the time of his life playing the Emperor Caligula. Robinson’s version isn’t quite as effective as Malcolm McDowell’s but Robinson is a lot more fun to watch. Richard Boone is effectively slovenly in the role of Pilate and there’s a nice little throw-away scene where Pilate absent-mindedly washes his hands twice. Meanwhile Ernest Thesiger (who played Dr. Pretorious in the Bride of Frankenstein) is an oddly benevolent Emperor Tiberius while Michael Rennie, the alien from the original The Day the Earth Stood Still, plays none other than St. Peter. Even Jeff Morrow (from This Island Earth) has a small role.

Like most of the old school Hollywood biblical epics, The Robe seems pretty hokey when viewed today and I get the feeling it probably seemed hokey when it was first released back in 1953. Still, I remember that my Grandma Meehan used to love to watch these movies whenever they would show up on television. She would have deep theological debates with the images that flickered across the screen. I can still remember spending multiple Easters listening to her argue with The Ten Commandments. I don’t know if Grandma ever saw The Robe but I do know that she believed that the Holy Tunic was presently located in France and not at the Cathedral of Trier in Germany. Seriously, you did not want to question her on this point.

To be honest, watching this type of film is always an odd experience for me. Up until recently, I described myself as a “fallen Catholic” and I always felt so proud of myself afterward. I could spend hours telling you why I no longer believed in the faith of my childhood and I could get quite smug about it. I guess I still can but, as of late, I’ve discovered that humility goes well with a lack of faith. I’ve also been forced to admit that when you’re raised Catholic, you’re a Catholic for life regardless of whether you believe in the Holy Trinity or not. If pressed, I guess I’d call myself “an agnostic Catholic.” I’m the type of nonbeliever who still feels the need to go to confession after a long weekend. It’s not so much that I doubt my doubt as much as I wish that I could still go back to a time in my life when I actually could have faith without feeling like I was in denial. So, even as I openly scoff at these films, there’s always that small part of my heart that wants to embrace the film in all of its simplistic and hokey glory.

That said, it’s also true that The Robe is a lot easier to resist than a film like Pasolini’s The Gospel According to Saint Matthew or, for that matter, The Exorcist.

I Love You, Canada! And here’s six trailers to prove it…

Posted on February 20, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I think I’ve been a little bit too hard on Canada as of late. I mean, sure — our northern neighbor did give us Paul Haggis and Vermont. However, Canada also gave us Degrassi: The Next Generation, Jason Reitman, Atom Egoyan, David Cronenberg, Denys Arcand, and my friend Lindsay Dianne. So, I’m here to say right now: I love Canada! And in order to show that love, this week’s edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers is dedicated to films produced up in Canada.

1) Sudden Fury (1975)

I’ve never seen this movie and I don’t know much about it beyond the fact that it was made in Canada. Looking at the cast list at the end of the trailer, I don’t see any familiar names. But the trailer fascinates me because it somehow manages to be intriguing and dull at the same time.

2) Rats (1982)

I haven’t actually seen this one either and I’m kind of glad for that because seriously, I am scared to death of rats. I remember this one time when I was little, I was visiting my grandpa’s place in Arkansas and he lived in this big three-story house out in the country. And I was sitting out back in this swing when suddenly, this rat jumped out of a third story window and it landed right next to the swing and broke its neck and died with its tail twitching as I watched. I still have nightmares about that. Anyway, this film is apparently not to be confused with Bruno Mattei’s Rats: The Nights of Terror.

3) Humongous (1983)

This is one of the several million slasher films that ended up being made in Canada by American film companies looking for a tax shelter. Just imagine how much shorter the trailer would have been in the movie had simply been called Huge. Incidentally, the film was directed by Paul Lynch, the same guy who did the original Prom Night.

4) Fast Company (1979)

Arleigh would never let me live it down if I did a post and didn’t include a trailer for a David Cronenberg film. So, here you go. Now, to be honest, this trailer is only interesting if you know that 1) it’s for a film directed by David Cronenberg and that 2) he made this in between making Rabid and The Brood. Now I know that this trailer probably screams out, “David Cronenberg just needed the work,” but Cronenberg has actually spoken with a good deal of fondness about this film. I personally haven’t seen it but I guess if anyone could somehow make a movie about drag racing exciting, it would be David Cronenberg.

5) Videodrome (1983)

Here’s a more representative example of what we think about when we think about Cronenberg.

6) Out of the Blue (1980)

Originally, I was going to end this with the 2 Cronenberg films but then I remembered that Dennis Hopper’s Out Of The Blue was a Canadian production and there were simply no way I couldn’t end with that film. Out of the Blue is, quite simply put, one of the greatest films ever made. I’ve been meaning to write a review of it for a while now but it’s been difficult for me to know where to begin because, in many ways, viewing Out of the Blue was as much of a personal experience for me as watching Black Swan.

From Vanishing Point To Shivers, Here’s 6 More Trailers

Posted on February 5, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As the snow outside slowly melts and I try to decide what to wear when I go see The Rite tonight, why don’t you enjoy six more of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers?

1) Vanishing Point (1971)

I had to include this trailer at some point since Vanishing Point is one of the key influences on Quentin Tarantino’s Death Proof section of Grindhouse. Is Vanishing Point the ultimate trip? Maybe but I think there’s one other film that came out the same year that might disagree…

2) The Jesus Trip (1971)

And here it is! I haven’t seen this actual film but the trailer would seem to indicate that this is some sort of religious biker film. But then you have that final scene in the trailer and you’re kinda like, “Uhmmm….sacreligious much?” Anyway, this is one of those trailers that I find myself watching over and over again. I guess I was destined to grow obsessed with this trailer as it appeals to both my exploitation fanatic side and my fallen Catholic side. Put them both together and I guess you’ve got The Jesus Trip.

Seriously, this is just a weird trailer.

3) Horror House On Highway 5 (1985)

I’ve come across this film on DVD a few times and I’ve always been seriously temped to buy it just on the basis of the title. However, I may just end up settling for having seen the trailer because, to be honest, the trailer would seem to indicate that there’s a lot of really, really ugly people in this movie. And ugly people kinda sorta make me nervous.

4) Revenge of the Cheerleaders (1976)

I guess this is like the grindhouse version of Bring It On. Watching the trailer, I have to wonder why high schools in 70s movies always looked so dirty and unwashed. I mean — BLEH! Seriously, if my school had been that dirty, I would have ended up dropping out of school when I was 15. I mean, gawd damn! Get out the Scrubbing Bubbles and every sanitizer you can find and just — oh my God. I think it’s the cafeteria that really makes me shudder. Anyway, as for the rest of the trailer, I asked my sister Erin if it looked like a truthful depiction of high school cheerleading since she used to be one and she said no because most cheerleader don’t survive getting blown up as easily as the ones in this trailer.

5) Bad Girls Go To Hell (1965)

This is a film from the notoriously odd Doris Wishman. Someday, somebody — maybe even me — is going to turn the life of Doris Wishman into a great novel and an even better film.

6) Shivers (1975)

And let’s close things out with a little Cronenberg. From 1975, it’s Shivers.

What Lisa Watched Last Night: The Golden Globe Awards

Posted on January 17, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the annual Golden Globe Awards show.

Why Was I Watching It?

Well, I wasn’t watching it because I was expecting to see the best films and tv shows of the last year recognized. The Golden Globes are notorious for being odd and anyone who takes them too seriously needs to relax a little. The appeal of the Golden Globes is that 1) it recognizes both television and film in the same ceremony which means you get to see unexpected sights like Jim Parsons, Robert De Niro, Johnny Depp, and the cast of Glee all in the same auditorium, 2) drinks are served throughout the ceremony which means that everyone’s pretty drunk by the end of it, and 3) you can make fun of what everyone’s wearing.

What’s It About?

As the show’s host, Ricky Gervais pointed out while commenting on the odd nomination of The Tourist for Best Picture (Comedy), the show is mostly about the shadowy members of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association getting a chance to hang out with people like Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp. And who can blame them, really? Quite honestly, if it meant I might get a chance to spend a night with Johnny Depp (or, I’ll admit it, Angelia Jolie), I’m more than willing to love The Tourist too.

What Worked

Oh my God, it was such an odd three hours. While the winners were kinda predictable and boring (how excited can you get — at this point — to see The Social Network win awards) and showed the typical tendency towards embracing the safe over the unpredictable, Ricky Gervais kept things lively. He hosted with an attitude that basically said, “My career doesn’t need your approval so fuck off, Hollywood.” It also pretty much guaranteed that Gervais will never host the Oscars. My favorite Gervais moment came early when he made the comment about secretly gay Scientologists (an obvious reference to Tom Cruise and maybe John Travolta). The way the audience gasped pretty much told you all you needed to know as far as the truth behind the joke was concerned.

Robert De Niro won the DeMille Award and gave a speech that revealed that he’s actually a human being and apparently, a somewhat bitter one at that. Also, I simply have to mention that Robert De Niro is aging really well. As opposed to…oh, I don’t know…Al Pacino, maybe?

Melissa Leo is one of my favorites actresses and it was nice to see her rewarded for The Fighter but her speech did go on and on and the only thing that saved the moment was that some genius in the control booth decided to cut to Helena Bonham Carter who had the coolest “What the fuck?” look on her face.

Angelina Jolie’s green dress was quite simply to die for and I want it because it’s the same color as my right eye. So, I’ll repeat the offer that I made earlier on twitter: whoever gets me this dress (by whatever means) can watch while I try it on and take it off. (That’s a joke, by the way! Seriously though, I so want that dress. Except, of course, I’d want to have Hello Kitty on it somewhere…)

Natalie Portman won best actress in a drama and, out of all the awards given last night, that’s really the only one I agreed with. When Portman’s name was announced, my twitter friend Jason Tarwater asked if I was doing cartwheels. Well, I didn’t do cartwheels but I did attempt to do a pirouette and wow, that was a mistake because I so twisted my ankle the wrong way and ended up in really intense pain. So, I missed Natalie’s speech but I bet it was great.

I do like the way that the Golden Globes divide their awards into a drama and a comedy section. It’s a smart idea, I think.

What Didn’t Work?

I’m not going to complain about The Social Network winning most of the awards. It’s not a bad film, at all. It’s just not the great movie that so many critics are insisting that it is. At this point, I’m not so much anti-Social Network as much as I’m just bored with it.

Al Pacino’s a great actor but seriously, I hit mute any time he wins an award. And, seriously, would it kill him to wash his hair or something before he shows up for an awards ceremony?

Justin Bieber came out and gave an award or something and I’m sorry — he’s creepy. I mean, like David Archuletta creepy. Plus, I always have to go to Wikipedia to find out whether the i or the e comes first whenever I’m trying to type out the name “Bieber”. I mean, I’m only 25 and this little punk and his fans are making me feel like an old woman complaining about “kids today.” NOT COOL, BIEBER!

Aaron Sorkin won for his overrated screenplay and I guess he’s aware that he’s got an image problem because he tried so hard to be gracious but it was kinda like when James Cameron tried to be gracious while promoting Avatar. It just didn’t work. The more humble Sorkin tried to be, the more he came across like a prick. The final insult came when he thanked the best actress nominees for being “smart” women as if that’s such an unusual thing to be. I’m assuming this was Sorkin’s attempt to show that he’s not a sexist pig but it just came across as condescending and fake. It’s interesting to contrast Sorkin’s speech with David Fincher’s speech. Fincher was far more gracious and, quite frankly, the only reason that Sorkin’s screenplay came close to working was because, as a director, Fincher kept things visually interesting so you didn’t really spend too much time thinking about how every single character in the entire freakin’ movie sounded exactly like Aaron Sorkin. Seriously, does Sorkin know anyone who doesn’t talk like him?

Was it just me or did producer Scott Rudin — while accepting best picture for The Social Network — almost seem as if he had to be reminded to thank Fincher? It’s interesting that, for all the acclaim Social Network and Sorkin have gotten, Fincher has often come close to being forgotten. Could it be because Sorkin is a card-carrying member of the Hollywood establishment while Fincher, much like Fighter’s David O. Russell and Black Swan’s Darren Aronofsky, is not?

Finally, the first winner of the night was Christian Bale. Was he deliberately trying to channel Colin Farrell last night or was it just an accident? Regardless, when it comes Colin Farrell, I prefer the real thing.

“Oh my God! Just Like Me” Moment

: “I’ll show you a pair of golden globes!”

Lessons Learned

As excited as I’ll be if Natalie Portman wins an Oscar for best actress, I will force myself not to dance.

Lisa Marie Does 6 Trailers In The Snow

Posted on January 9, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I was so happy today and it didn’t even have anything to do with the movies, either! Early this afternoon, I was watching my cat twitch in his sleep (he has very violent dreams, apparently) when I happened to look out my bedroom window and you know what I saw? Snow! “Yay!” I yelled, waking up the cat.

Now, I know that everyone else in the country gets a blizzard every other month but I live in Texas so snow is kind of a big deal to me. I jumped off my bed, threw my Hello Kitty robe on, and went running down stairs. I threw open the door, ran out to the front porch, and then slipped and fell right on my backside.

My neighbor stared at me from his yard. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yay!” I replied, “it’s snowing!”

He nodded and then went, “Better hope those power lines don’t ice over or we might be without electricity.”

At that point, I resolved to never speak to my neighbor again.

So, I was very, very happy but now, the snow’s gone. It’s moved along to Arkansas and Mississippi. Now, the only thing falling rom the sky is freezing rain and the roads will probably be really icy and scary when I’m going to work tomorrow. So, as I sit here all kinds of pantsless with a big purple bruise on my ass, I’m cheering myself up by putting together the latest installment of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers.

1) The Dunwich Horror

From 1970: Dean Stockwell kidnaps and brainwashes Sandra Dee and he’s doing it all in the name of all mighty Cthulhu. This is actually kind of a fun film as long as you can get the image of H.P. Lovecraft spinning in his grave out of your mind.

2) Curtains

I’ve never seen this 80s slasher film but I’ve read about its troubled production on various web sites. I’m kinda embarrassed to admit it but I actually get scared when I see this trailer. First off, that mask is disturbing. And secondly, that doll…

3) Black Belt Jones

Fortunately, even if this world does occasionally give us a demon doll, it can also give us a Black Belt Jones. I loved the trailer as soon as I saw Gloria Hendry shooting the dishes…

4) Frightmare

From Peter Walker, comes one of the greatest British horror films ever made. It’s all about cannibalism, psychology, and fire place pokers.

5) Faceless

Jess Franco has directed close to a thousand films and approximately 12 of them are worth watching. This is one of the lucky dozen, a remake of Eyes Without A Face. The film gave Brigitte LaHaie her best role outside of the films of Jean Rollin and it also co-stars the great Caroline Munro. And since it’s a Franco film, Howard Vernon plays a character named Dr. Orloff. Plus, its got that cute little panther animation at the start of the trailer.

6) Electra Glide In Blue

Finally, it’s up to Robert Blake to restore some order. This is actually a fairly interesting little movie as long as you realize that it’s such a 70s film, it might as well be wearing a suit with lapels stretching all the way to the end of the shoulders.

Book Review: The Eurospy Guide by Matt Blake and David Deal

Posted on January 6, 2011 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Sometimes, believe it or not, I feel very insecure when I come on here to talk about movies because, unlike most of my fellow writers and the site’s readers, I’m actually pretty new to the world of pop culture and cult films. Up until 8 years ago, ballet was my only obsession. It was only after I lost that dream that I came to realize that I could feel that same passion for other subjects like history and writing and movies. In those 8 years, I think I’ve done a fairly good job educating myself but there’s still quite a bit that I don’t know and, at times, I’m almost overwhelmed by all the movies that I’ve read so much about but have yet to actually see. And don’t even get me started on anime because, honestly, my ignorance would simply astound you. What I know about anime — beyond Hello Kitty — is pretty much limited to what I’ve read and seen on this site. (I do know what a yandere is, however. Mostly because Arleigh explained it to me on twitter. I still don’t quite understand why my friend Mori kept using that as her own personal nickname for me back during my sophomore year of college but that’s a whole other story…)

The reason I started soul searching here is because I’m about to review a book — The Eurospy Guide by Matt Blake and David Deal — that came out in 2004 and I’m about to review it as if it came out yesterday. For all I know, everyone reading this already has a copy of The Eurospy Guide in their personal collection. You’ve probably already spent 6 years thumbing through this book and reading informative, lively reviews of obscure movies. You may already know what I’ve just discovered. Well, so be it. My education is a work in progress and The Eurospy Guide has become one of my favorite textbooks.

The Eurospy Guide is an overview of a unique genre of films that started in the mid-60s and ended with the decade. These were low-budget rip-offs — the majority of which were made in Italy, Germany, and France — of the Sean Connery-era James Bond films. These were films with titles like Code Name: Jaguar, Secret Agent Super Dragon, More Deadly Than The Male, and Death In a Red Jaguar. For the most part, they starred actors like George Nader, Richard Harrison, and Eddie Constantine who had found the stardom in exploitation cinema that the mainstream had never been willing to give to them. They featured beautiful and underappreciated actresses like Marilu Tolo and Erika Blac and exotic, over-the-top villainy from the likes of Klaus Kinski and Adolfo Celi. Many of these films — especially the Italian ones — were directed by the same men who would later make a name for themselves during the cannibal and zombie boom of the early 80s. Jess Franco did a few (but what genre hasn’t Jess Franco experimented with) and even Lucio Fulci dabbled in the genre. Their stories were frequently incoherent and, just as frequently, that brought them an undeniably surreal charm.

And then again, some of them were just films like Operation Kid Brother, starring Sean Connery’s younger brother, Neil. (Operation Kid Brother was an Italian film, naturally.)

Well, all of the films — from the good to the bad (and no, I’m not going to add the ugly) — are covered and thoroughly reviewed in The Eurospy Guide. Blake and Deal obviously not only love these films but they prove themselves to be grindhouse aficionados after my own heart. Regardless of whether they’re reviewing the sublime or the ludicrous, they approach each film with the same enthusiasm for the potential of pure cinema run amuck. It’s rare to find reviewers who are willing to pay the same respect to a film like The Devil’s Man that they would give to a sanctioned classic like The Deadly Affair.

Along with reviewing a countless number of films, Deal and Blake also include two great appendices in which they detail the review some of the film franchises that came out of the genre and provide biographies of some of the more prominent stars of the eurospy films.

The highest compliment I can pay to The Eurospy Guide is that, even with all the various films guides I own (and I own a lot), I found films reviewed and considered in this book that I haven’t found anywhere else. Everytime I open this book, I learn something that, at least to me, is new. The book was an obvious labor of love for Blake and Deal and I love the results of their labor.

So, if you already own a copy, you rock.

And if you don’t, order it.