Tag Archives: Film

6 Trailers In Celebration

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Okay, I am like supper giddy excited and dancing-around-my-house-in-my-underwear excited right now and that’s because a story I wrote has been accepted for publication  so let me just repeat what I said when I learned the news: “Oh. My. God.  YAY!”  And then I pushed off my jeans and tossed my camisole and I started dancing around the house in my underwear and that’s where you came in and…

Well, anyway — Hi!  How ya doing?  Having a good weekend?  Ready for another edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers?  Let’s get started:

1) Explosion (1969)

This is appears to be yet another one of those “So You Say You Want A Revolution” films from the late 60s.  The 60s were a good time for freeze frames apparently.

2) The Green Slime (1968)

This is a classic example of a “Look How Excited The Narrator Is!” style of grindhouse trailer.

3) The Student Nurses (1970)

I love any trailer that claims that the movie being advertised is about “what’s happening now…”  It’s a line that just screams 1970s.  Anyway, this is The Student Nurses which was directed by Stephanie Rothman, one of the first of the true Grindhouse feminists.

4) The Student Teachers (1973)

Student Nurses was a huge success so the next few years so a whole lot of different “Student” films.  Hence, the Student Teachers.  That clown at the end of this trailer freaks me out.  By the way, Chuck Norris is apparently in this trailer.

5) The Two Faces Of Love (1972)

Of course, even as the grindhouse celebrated the strong women who became student nurses and student teachers, it was also celebrating the woman who found themselves trapped in rip-offs of Repulsion, like The Two Faces of Love.

6) Stacey (1973)

Finally, let’s close things out with Stacey.  Why?  Because she’s super, sexy, and sensational!

A Quickie Review: Dylan Dog: Dead of Night (dir. by Kevin Munroe)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Yesterday, I called into work because my asthma was acting up and, in order to pass the time, I watched Dylan Dog: Dead of Night.  To be honest, I probably should have just risked having another asthma attack and spent 108 minutes at work, answering the phone.  It would have been a more productive use of my day.

Dylan Dog is based (quite loosely) on the same Italian comic book that inspired one of the best Italian horror films of all time, Dellamorte Dellamore.  Brandon Routh gives a charisma-free performance as Dylan Dog, a New Orleans-based private investigator who is hired by a mysterious woman (Anita Briem) to investigate the circumstances of her father’s death.  It turns out her father was killed by a werewolf and fortunately, Dylan is apparently an expert on New Orleans’ supernatural underground, including the decadent vampires that are led by Taye Diggs (who, seriously, deserves better than this movie.)

Dylan Dog: Dead of Night plays less like a movie and more like a greatest hits collection of other, better movies (and tv shows).  We get werewolves and vampires going to war, we get an athletic blonde woman doing karate moves on a bunch of vampires, and we get a lot of casual decadence being committed by vampires who speak with Southern accents that just drip molasses.  Now, I love True Blood, Buffy the Vampire Slayer is one of the shows that gave me the strength to survive a lot of hard times, and I’ve even got a girlcrush on Kate Beckinsale as a result of Underworld.  But I’ve also got all of those wonderful shows on DVD.  I can see them whenever I want.  I didn’t spend $5.00 to rent Dylan Dog OnDemand just so I could see Dylan become the millionth film hero to walk in slow motion while firing two guns at the same time.

By all accounts, the film’s version of Dylan Dog has very little in common with the comic book version of Dylan Dog.  It’s hard for me to say for sure because, while I’ve read and heard a lot about the Dylan Dog comic, I’ve never actually read it.  Even if I could get my hands on a copy, it wouldn’t be much help since I’m not exactly fluent in Italian.  This is what I assume to be true, strictly based on my own research:

1) The comic book Dylan Dog is a melancholy character who, despite dealing with the supernatural on a regular basis, also suffers from several irrational phobias of his own.  The movie’s Dylan Dog is a blank-faced mannequin who utters useless quips and appears, in the tradition of American movie heroes, to have no fear. 

2) The comic book Dylan Dog has an assistant who is a Groucho Marx imitator.  The American Dylan Dog has an assistant who is a zombie.  That assistant is well-played by Sam Huntington and he actually does have a few good moments but it’s still impossible to watch him and not wish he was a Groucho Marx imitator.  (In the film’s defence, it appears that the Marx estate took legal action to prevent Groucho’s likeness from being used in the film.) 

3) The comic book Dylan Dog lives in London.  The movie Dylan Dog lives in New Orleans for absolutely no reason other than these movies always seem to be based in New Orleans.  Seriously, New Orleans is one of the most overrated cities in America.

4) Finally, the comic book Dylan Dog is one of the most popular cult heroes in Europe.  The movie Dylan Dog is the subject of one of the biggest cinematic flops of 2011.

It’s really hard to know what to say about a film like Dylan Dog other than the fact that it’s really, really bad.  In fact, I’m tempted to call it the worst of 2011 so far but, after giving it a lot of thought, I decided that title still belongs to The Conspirator.  Unlike The Conspirator, Dylan Dog isn’t a pompous film, it’s just a very, very lazy one. 

I think the best thin to say in regards to Dylan Dog: Dead of Night is that it might inspire viewers to seek out and watch Dellamorte Dellamore.  Now, that’s a film.

Lisa Marie’s Guilty Pleasure: Beastly (dir. by Daniel Barnz)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Much like Take Me Home Tonight, Beastly is a film that I missed when it originally played in theaters but then later caught via On Demand.  While Jeff and I were visiting Baltimore last month, Jeff’s younger sister, Jessica, recruited me to watch Beastly with her and I was more than happy to do it.  Getting to meet and spend time with Jessica was one of my favorite things about visiting Baltimore.  Even though we’re not actually related (which is actually a pretty fortunate, all things considered), we were like sisters from the moment we met.  Perhaps that explains why we spent Beastly giggling and trying not to choke on microwave popcorn.

I really don’t want to have to talk about the plot of Beastly because it’s one of those films where the plot is somehow both painfully simple and annoyingly complicated (as opposed to complex) at the same time.  Basically, Kyle (Alex Pettyfer) is a conceited high school student who picks on a sullen witch.  This witch is played by Mary Kate Olson and, since she’s supposed to be a goth here, she dresses exclusively in black and scowls a lot but that can’t change the fact that she’s still Mary Kate Olson.  Anyway, Pettyfer is running for high school political office and gives a speech where he declares that good-looking people are better than normal-looking people.  Olson is so disgusted with this sentiment (because, apparently, Mary Kate Olson is supposed to be one of the “normal” looking people) that she casts a curse on Kyle.  Suddenly, Kyle is transformed into the “Beast,” which in this film means that he loses all of his hair, his skin gets bleached, and he gets some aesthetically pleasing tattoos on his face.  I mean, seriously, he looks better once he’s cursed.  But Kyle doesn’t see it that way and neither does Kyle’s father who quickly sends Kyle away to an isolated New York apartment.  Anyway, Kyle learns that he had can go back to being a pretty boy if he can make someone fall in love with him and kiss him.  But who could love someone with kinda pale skin?  Fortunately for Kyle, Mary Kate Olson isn’t the only girl in the movie.  Vanessa Hudgens is there too.

I can’t really argue that Beastly is a good film because it’s not.  Actually, it’s kinda, sorta, really, really … well, not good.  The film drags (which is why you have to watch this with someone talkative because otherwise, the slow spots will seem even slower), the actors either refuse to or are incapable of bringing any sort of real pathos to their roles, and the film’s lesson — don’t judge a book by its cover — is sabotaged by the fact that even the “ugly” members of the cast still look better than most people do at their absolute best.

And, in the end, if I had to explain why I enjoyed Beastly, it’s precisely because it was so bad and so silly that the film actually became enjoyable despite itself.  As we watched this film, I lost track of the number of times that either Jessica or myself said, “God, this is so stupid,” in between giggles.  (Though Jessica eventually decided to keep count but, of course, we then just started to say, “God, this is so stupid,” every chance we got just so she’d end up with the highest number possible.)  This is one of those films where everyone looks like a model, the dialogue drips with pretension and melodrama, Mary Kate Olsen plays a glowering goth, and all plot holes are immediately followed by a musical montage.  Oh, and to top it all off, Neil Patrick Harris just showed up out of nowhere, playing a blind man who likes to hit golf balls off of the top of a New York City apartment building.

In short, Beastly is a perfect film for those of us who enjoy a little guilt with our cinematic pleasure.

Film Review: Take Me Home Tonight (dir. by Michael Dowse)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

I missed the 80s retro-themed comedy Take Me Home Tonight when it was released to theater earlier this year.  It was one of those films that I meant to see but then it ended up spending such a short time in theaters that I just never got the chance.  A few days ago, via OnDemand, I finally got a chance to see Take Me Home Tonight in the comfort of my own bedroom.

Plotwise, Take Me Home Tonight feels like a cinematic Frankenstein monster, stitched together from elements from all those old school 80s comedies.  Therefore, it’s appropriate that the film itself is set in 1988.  Matt (Topher Grace) is a recent graduate from M.I.T. who is spending his post-graduate life working at Suncoast Video.  One day, while at work, he happens to run into Tori (Teresa Palmer), his high school crush.  When Tori asks Matt what he’s doing with his life post-high school, Matt quickly replies that he’s working at Goldman Sachs.  Tori then invites Matt to attend a weekend party being held by Kyle Masterson (Chris Pratt), a vaguely insane frat boy type who also happens to be the boyfriend of Matt’s twin sister, Wendy (Anna Faris).  In typical 80s comedy fashion, this leads to Matt and his friend Barry (Dan Folger) stealing a car, coming across a secret stash of cocaine, destroying a suburban neighborhood with a big metal ball, and eventually coming to several heart-warming (but not too heart-warming) conclusions about what they want out of life and what the future holds.

For a film like this to work, you have to care about the characters enough to be willing to stick with them even though they spend the majority of the film acting like complete morons.  Fortunately, the film is very well-cast with nice supporting turns from Folger, Faris, and Michael Biehn (who plays Matt’s father and who gets a great scene where he “arrests” his own son).  Folger is especially good, bringing a hilarious intensity to a familiar role.  From the minute that little baggie of cocaine first shows up on-screen, you know that Folger’s going to end up with a white powder all over his face.  What you don’t expect is just how hilarious a committed comic performer can make even the most familiar of comedic developments.  Dan Folger rubs cocaine on his teeth as if the world depended upon it. 

However, the film really belongs to Topher Grace (who not only stars in but also co-produced and co-wrote the film).  Now, I have to admit that when I was much younger, I used to love That 70s Show and I had the biggest crush on Topher Grace.  (I had an even bigger crush on Danny Masterson but that’s another story.)   As this film was apparently put together by many of the same people who were involved with That 70s Show, it’s not surprising that Take Me Home Tonight almost feels like it could be a sequel to that show.  Much as he did in That 70s Show, Grace provides the anchor here, keeping the film grounded (at times just barely) in reality.  It seems like whenever I see Topher Grace in the movies, he’s always playing some sort of psycho.  So, it was nice to see him back to doing what he does best, playing the sympathetic everyman who spends every day walking the fine line between cool and awkward. 

When Take Me Home Tonight was released in theaters earlier this year, it was greeted with mediocre reviews and poor box office.  But you know what?  It’s really not that bad of a film.  Yes, the plot is predictable and the jokes are more warmly amusing than laugh-out-loud funny.  However, this film is predictable in much the same way a funny but oft-told joke is predictable.  Take Me Home Tonight is a case where familiarity breeds not contempt but comfort.  It’s a type of comfort that’s probably better suited for being watched on a television while multi-tasking as opposed to being seen on the big screen with no other distractions.  Seriously, if Take Me Home Tonight was a weekly sitcom, it would probably end up getting nominated for all sorts of Emmys.

Congrats to all the writers for 1000 posts!

Posted on by Arleigh

I never figured out that this little hobby of mine to help pass the time and share my love for writing about films, books, anime, games and other forms of entertainment would last as long as it has. I’ve always thought that when I first began the site that after a couple months I would get tired and bored by it and just let it wither on the vine. But instead of withering it’s actually has grown to include not just myself as a contributor but many others.

I have to say many thanks to some old buddies of mine going as far back as the old FF Gurus stomping ground which turned into the Suikox stomping grounds. I will forever be indebted to necromoonyeti (Shad4K for those who remember him from FFG and Suikox) for not just writing about his love for all things metal, but for the other genres of metal beyond the Metallica, Slayer, Black Sabbath and Megadeth I grew up listening to. Its through his educated and passionate writing about black metal, folk metal and power metal (and many more) that I’ve grown to appreciate the finer points of music.

Sailor Sexy has been a partner-in-crime that I think we may have been twins in a previous life. He’s been the anime and manga dude who may not have been as active but has definitely expanded my own appreciation for Japanese anime and manga. He’s probably helped introduce the artform to many of the site’s readers who have never really experienced anime outside of what’s being shown on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim. Here’s to hoping he celebrates this milestone with beer and more beer with his pals Tugger and PB at his side.

Other contributors have joined the site in just the past 6 months to help add their unique voices to the growing crew. There’s SemtexSkittle who has become the site’s gaming guru and whose love for gaming surpasses even my own.  In addition to his helping write articles and reviews for the site he has also helped me become a better Black Ops player even though I’m probably still the one guy in the team who dies most of the time.

Another contributor who has added his own unique writing style is uberthegeek who shares the same love for all things nerdy and geeky as I do. Then there’s Leonard Wilson who brings his own film reviewing style which shows not just his love for film, but also shows him growing as a writer and hopefully he will continue to write as he finds his true writer’s voice. Another film fan who has joined just recently is leonth3duke who I first met over at a film fan union over on Gamespot. He brings a cineaste‘s appreciation for film that I rarely find when talking with my contemporaries and has been a welcome addition to the site.

The site also has one-time contributors in danceonavolcano and zackthewicked1 whose lone contributions are much appreciated as the ones made by the other writers for the site.

Last, but not least, is the one person who has helped me through the growing pains of the site when it was just months old and who accepted my invitation to write for the site without questions asked on her part: Lisa Marie Bowman. She has been so active in keeping the site always with something new to check out and read that she’s become as much a founder of Through the Shattered Lens as myself. Her love for grindhouse and exploitation cinema surpasses my own. Her unique personal take on films she reviews has made her articles some of the most read one’s on the site and I hope that giving her an outlet to write without restrictions has helped her in whatever small way to open up creatively since she first joined me almost 17 months ago. She’s also the reason for bringing in her sister, Dazzling Erin, to add to the coterie of writers which will only continue to help grow the site beyond what I had first envisioned it to be.

Through the Shattered Lens has been and will continue be a place guided by no rules other than for each contributor to write what they want to write about in regards to entertainment of their choosing. I’ve wanted to keep the site as chaotic and as free of restrictive guidelines as possible. While other sites have succeeded in being more focused on a particular theme or having access to the entertainment industry for news and interviews, I’ve always thought that this site has been a success on its own right because of it’s own chaotic nature. Visitors both new and old will always come in with the expectation that something new, weird and unexpected will greet them as they enter for the first time or the umpteenth time.

Thanks for sticking by us as we reached our first 1000th post milestone. Here’s to hoping you stick around and see us through to the next 1000….

….also remember: the cake is a lie.

Poll: Which Films Are You Most Looking Forward To Seeing In September?

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

One month ago, we asked you which films you are most looking forward to seeing in August.  The results of that poll can be found here but, in short, it would appear that, for the majority of our readers, August is going to be all about The Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, Conan the Barbarian, and Fright Night. 

(Though for me personally, August is all about One Day.)

So, what’s September going to be all about?  Well, why not let us know by voting in our latest poll?  As always, you can vote for up to four films and write-in votes are always allowed.  Happy voting!

(Personally, I’ll be voting for 50/50, Drive, Contagion, and A Good, Old-Fashioned Orgy.)

6 Trailers On The Way To A 1,000

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hi.  Good morning.  I’m sitting here in my beloved Pirates shirt with my hair a big mess and an aggressive kitty trying to dig his claws into my thigh as a sign of affection as I try to complete this thing known as “waking up” but I’m still a happy girl and I’ll tell you why. 

First off, we’re only six posts away from hitting that magical 1,000th post.  And, once we hit a thousand, Arleigh is going to give us all a 50% raise on our current Shattered Lens salary.  Yay!  I know I can really use the money as I’m getting ready to go back to school and get my master’s.

Secondly, I’m happy because it’s Saturday!  And that means it’s time for 6 more of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers.

1) The 10th Victim (1965)

This trailer is for the Italian satire/sci-fi film The 10th Victim.  As this trailer makes clear, the film’s American distributor wasn’t quite sure how to sell this particular film.

2) Chained Heat (1983)

By contrast, the distributors of Chained Heat appear to have known exactly who would be sitting in their audience.  Chained Heat has a reputation for being one of the sleaziest of the Women in Prison films and that’s saying something.  I actually saw this playing on cable once though I was kinda *ahem* tied up at the time and as such, didn’t pay too much attention to it. 

3) Penitentiary (1979)

Continuing on a prison theme, here’s the trailer for Penitentiary.  This film was made by Jaama Fanaka, the director of Welcome Home, Brother Charles.

4) Delinquent Schoolgirls (1973)

Yeah, I haven’t actually seen this film but I’m going to guess that the trailer is probably more exploitive than the actual film.  This is a classic example of the exploitation tease.  Also, this is yet another example of a ’70s trailer that makes me go, “Ewwwwww!” at the sight of a dumpy man running around in his  man panties.  I mean, seriously — ewwwww, 1970s, ewwww!

5) Manhattan Baby (1982)

The title makes it sound like a second-rate Broadway musical but actually, Manhattan Baby was (along with the far better remember New York Ripper) Lucio Fulci’s follow-up to the brilliant Beyond trilogy.  I’ve sat through this film a few times and I’m still not sure why it’s called Manhattan Baby.  Maybe Fulci was trying to start a trilogy of New York-themed horror films.  Maybe The House By The Bronx was meant to be next…

6) Return of the Evil Dead (1972)

This is the sequel to Armando De Ossorio’s Tombs of the Blind Dead and, arguably, the best of the Blind Dead films.

The Most Meh Film of 2011: Cowboys and Aliens (dir. by Jon Favreau)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

For about a year now, I’ve been seeing the trailer for Cowboys and Aliens before every single film I’ve gone to see.  And now, finally, the Jon Favreau’s latest film has been released.  I saw it on Friday afternoon with my friend Evelyn and our reaction to it can be summed up in one word:

Meh.

Seriously, this might not be the worst film of 2011 so far (not as long as Priest, The Conspirator, The Beaver, and Sanctum continue to exist in our reality) but it’s definitely one of the most meh films of all time.  Cowboys and Aliens epitomizes everything that we mean when we say “meh.”  It’s not exactly terrible but it’s not good either.  What it is, ultimately, is very forgettable. 

This is one of those films where everything just seems to be a little bit off-track.  It’s like a car that technically runs but the whole time you’re inside of it, you know that there’s a chance the engine’s going to explode and you’re going to be stranded in Oak Cliff* with a dying cell phone.  You’re just happy that it gets you to your destination so you can get out of the car, not because you actually enjoyed the trip.

If you want to get into specifics, I’d point out that:

1) Daniel Craig isn’t all that believable as a notorious gunslinger.

2) Harrison Ford looks annoyed to be there.

3) The cast is full of excellent character actors — like Sam Rockwell — who essentially get to do nothing.

4) The aliens basically look like leftovers from Skyline andBattle L.A. 

5) The action sequences are pretty boring (there’s not one moment that makes you gasp and go, “Wow!”) and are so badly edited that it’s difficult to keep track of who is shooting at who. 

6) For the first quarter of the film, we’re watching a bad western and then, suddenly, we’re watching a boring, uninspired science fiction action film. 

7) A major plot point essentially centers on Daniel Craig (with the aid of some helpful Indians, of course) going on a “spirit quest.”  Seriously, filmmakers today use spirit quests and sweat lodges in much the same way that filmmakers of the 60s used garish acid trips.  It’s all an excuse for a bunch of zoom lenses and bright color filters.

8 ) Finally, and this is most fatal of the film’s flaws, it just takes all of this so seriously.  There’s not even a scene of a brave gunslinger shouting, “Draw, you four-armed bastard!” at an alien.  Seriously, this should have been a fun film.  Instead, it’s just another overproduced, forgettable establishment film.

Jon Favreau is a likable enough actor (even if he does seem to be fated to spend his career competing for roles with Kevin James) and he’s made some likable films (Elf, Iron Man, Zathura)  but Cowboys and Aliens could have been made by just about anyone.  It’s a film that feels like it was put together on an assembly line.  Originally, me and Evelyn swore that, if Cowboys and Aliens sucked, we were going to react by running down to the front of the theater and entertaining everyone by doing the Timewarp.  However, by the time it became apparent just how meh this film was, neither one of us really felt like creating a little sexy civil disobedience.  Quite frankly, we just wanted it to end so we could move on to the next film.

—————

*Oak Cliff, for all you Yankees out there, is a neighborhood of Dallas.  I used to live there but I was only a few months old at the time and I still wouldn’t want to end up stranded out there.

 

G.D. Spradlin, R.I.P.

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Earlier today, I was looking through the list of recent death on Wikipedia (I do this several times a day.  It’s one of my morbid habits.) and I came across the name of G.D. Spradlin. 

G.D. Spradlin died on June 24th, at the age of 90.  While G.D. Spradlin is a great name, it’s hardly a household name.  However, if you’re in any way interested film, you’ve probably seen G.D. Spradlin at least once.  G. D. Spradlin was a character actor who played small but key roles in some of the best films of the 1970s.

Spradlin’s most famous role was probably as the corrupt Senator Pat Geary in The Godfather, Part II.  We see Sen. Geary a handful of times over the course of the film.  At first, he’s just another folksy politician who, behind close doors, proves himself to be coldly corrupt.  A bit later, we meet Geary again.  This time, Geary is sitting naked in a brothel, shaking as he tries not to look at the dead prostitute lying on the bed behind him.  Though it’s never explicitly stated, the suggestion is that the Corleone — the film’s “heroes” — murdered the prostitute and framed Geary for the crime.  To me, this is the pivotal scene in the film because it’s the scene that reveals just how much Al Pacino’s Michael Corleone has changed in between the two Godfathers.  The Michael from the first film might have ordered Geary killed but he never would have deliberately ordered the murder of an otherwise innocent bystander, regardless of her profession.  It’s lucky for Geary that Michael changed his ways because it gives Geary a chance to later accompany him and Hyman Roth to Cuba.  Finally, Geary shows up towards the end of the film, passionately defending Michael Corleone before a Senate committee on organized crime.

If you don’t remember Spradlin from The Godfather, Part II then maybe you remember him as the friendly yet sinister Gen. Corman from Apocalypse Now.  When Martin Sheen is briefed on the man he’s been assigned to kill, it’s Spradlin who does the briefing. 

Before going into acting, Spradlin was active in Oklahoma politics and he had the bearing of a man who was used to being in charge.  If he had gone into acting a little bit earlier, he probably would have played countless ranchers and bank presidents in various Westerns.  However, since he came to prominence as a character actor in the cynical cinema of the 1970s, it was his fate to play roles in which he epitomized the corruption of the American establishment.    Though his roles were rarely big, he brought an unexpected depth to all of them and, as a result, played a key role in some of the greatest movies ever made.

Not too bad for a man who was never a household name.