Song of the Day: GWAR – The One That Will Not Be Named


In the past, I have always taken the opportunity on Halloween to feature some song or compilation respectful towards the pagan roots of the holiday. Halloween is, after all, a celebration of all those things traditionally taboo in a society which derives its moral perspective from Christianity.

Not this year. In honor of the late, great Dave Brockie, who passed away earlier this year, I offer you the grand finale of the most epic B-side horror-comedy album in the history of heavy metal. On Beyond Hell, GWAR are forced to retreat underground when their fortress in Antarctica is nuked and overrun by a global military task force (“War is All We Know”). They happen to stumble their way into Hell, and decide to spend their time in exile overthrowing Satan and claiming his armies to reconquer Earth. “The One That Will Not Be Named” is their final confrontation with Satan:

We’ve crossed creviced chasms vast,
And endless plains of unshaven ass.
Our time in Hell draws to the last!
We call upon the Master of the Pit:
“Have you got a toilet? I must take a shit!”
“Open your gates, Lord of Hate,”
“Or your front porch is gonna get it!”

“Very well, I’ll use my sword.”
“It’s very good as smashing doors.”
“We call you out!”
“Overrated Overlord!”

The root of all evil and hatred and shame,
So many victims, so many names,
But they are all the same.
“Ereshkigal!”
“Charun!”
“Helel ben-Shachar!”
“Lucifer! Satan! We know who you are!”

He is the one who will not be named
He is the one who will not be blamed

The realm of the sun we have left far behind,
And damned in the darkness we’ve groped with the blind.
Cannot remember time.
“We summon the Lord of Hell”
“So come forth now! I have your smell!”
“Cologne?! Cheap shit, and lots of it!”

He is the one who will not be named
He is the one who will not be blamed
He is the one that is turning the screws
The Lord of the Underworld. Let’s give the Devil his due!

(Lucifer): Welcome, GWAR, to my domain.
It’s nice to be called on by so many names.
What’s this I hear about you kicking my ass?

(In the live show, this is where Oderus fights a guy in an eight or nine foot tall Satan costume and chops his head off, drenching the audience in fake blood.)

He is the one who will not be named
He is the one who will not be blamed
He is the one that is turning the screws
The Lord of the Underworld. Let’s give the Devil his due!

We crossed chasms vast…
and endless ass…
Our time in Hell draws to the last.
The Legions of Hell lay broken and shorn.
The brothers of GWAR have slain through the storm.
The gate, it is riven. The Master is slain.
The fortress of GWAR is now ripe to reclaim.

We wasted Hell in the name of GWAR!
Though we really don’t know where we are…..

Happy Halloween everyone!

Scenes I Love: Saturday Night Live (feat. Eddie Murphy)


Celebrity Hot Tub

With the trailer for the James Brown biopic now out for people to watch I just thought it would be appropriate I share one of my favorite scenes from the many years of watching Saturday Night Live.

Before he became a mega superstar during the 80’s, Eddie Murphy was just part of the ever-changing cast of comedians for Saturday Night Live. One of the funniest skits had Eddie as James Brown doing the intro to his very own talk show, Celebrity Hot Tub.

Chopping The Log #2 Toradora part 1 premium edition


After the last set that I reviewed, I was glad to see that next on the list was a title I knew I was going to enjoy.  This release of Toradora memorable and special for a couple reasons.  First off, this was NIS America’s very first title that they released back in July of 2010 (yes, I’m just now getting to it, so now you know how bad my backlog is!).  July of 2010 is also the first time that site founder Arleigh and I attended Anime Expo together (but not the first time we met in person, that would be Anime Boston 2008).  It was my third Expo, but I believe it was his first.  NISA decided to really go all out and in order to promote this title the brought over two of the stars of the show, Yui Horie (Minori Kushieda) and Eri Kitamura (Ami Kawashima).  Getting to meet Yui Horie was a dream come true, so I’ll always remember this particular convention fondly.  And of course, they had their booth set up in the dealer’s room where they were selling this set, so when I saw it, the collector in me demanded that I pick it up.  These NISA sets are made with the collector in mind.  The giant artboxes definitely draw the eye to them, and although they’ll likely need special display space, it’s fully worth it if you are the collector type.

Toradora was a great choice for a newcomer in the market too.  From a star studded cast to nice visuals and an engaging story, there was no reason to expect anything but success from this.  I’ve seen sites list it as a comedy, and while that’s not wrong, it’s not entirely right either.  People that have watched a lot of anime might be familiar with the term “romcom” which is shorthand for romantic comedy.  That’s getting closer to the mark, but mixed in with the romance and the comedy is a good helping of drama too, so I dare say the proper term for this show is “draromcom”! 

In this first of two sets, we get the first 13 episodes of the show, plus two bonus shorts.  This set is largely setting things up with comedy and light drama for the more involved romance and heavier drama to come in later episodes.  So, we have our main protagonist, Ryuji, who is always mistaken for a delinquent because of his looks, and our other protagonist, Taiga (played to perfection by the legendary Rie Kugimiya), who looks like an adorable little doll but is actually short tempered and vicious, to the point that her nickname is the Palmtop Tiger, referring to her small stature and vicious nature.  Through a series of misunderstandings and other events, they come to find out that Ryuji has a crush on Taiga’s friend Minori, and Taiga has a crush on Ryuji’s friend Yusaku.  They decide to team up to help each other confess to their crushes, but while neither of them wants to admit to it, over the course of these 13 episodes it becomes apparent that they are falling for each other.  It’s pretty standard fare, but the execution of it is done extrememly well so it doesn’t feel old and tired like it very well could have.  Having a character like Ami come along to play an antagonistic role helps get the story moving, and provides a good bit of the comedy in this set.  And while this is lighter on the drama than future episodes, the last few start to build it up with Taiga’s deadbeat dad making an appearance. 

From a story and character standpoint, I think this show is in the upper tier, but this set does suffer from a few production problems.  This was NISA’s very first release as I mentioned before, and they definitely had some growing pains.  Once in awhile there are some spots where the video transfer was a little rough, resulting in some jagged images or blurred lines.  This seems to be most noticeable when the camera pans across a room where there is a lot going on.  I’m not a big technophile, so I don’t go through it frame by frame trying to find any sort of imperfection, but from those that do (seriously, how is that even enjoyable?) it’s said that there are several instances where it seemed like frames were overlapped on each other, hence the blur.  For those of us who are just watching on regular HDTVs without big fancy blu ray players beyond a PS3, while you will probably notice a couple janky areas, but nothing that will ruin the enjoyment of the set.

All in all, this is a show that I could easily have written an Anime You Should Be Watching column on, and only didn’t because I’m generally lazy.  If you can find this set, and you’re a collector, I say snap it up.  NISA has released a standard set, that doesn’t come in the fancy box with the nice hardbound episode guide, and this premium set is sold out at the distribution level, so it may not be possible to find it at a sane price anymore.

Also, I wanted to add, don’t let the fact that I’ve written 2 colums in 3 days fool you.  I don’t intend to be nearly as prolific as Lisa Marie is, and it’s completely dependent upon me finishing something from my backlog.  I have plenty of material to choose from, but some sets might take me a few days to finish, or I might take a break from watching anything for awhile.  But with my beloved New England Patriots out of the playoffs now, and me having very little interest in other sports, I should find myself with a lot more free time so who knows?  Maybe I can put a dent in this backlog after all.  Current backlog count: 847 discs.

Scenes That I Love: Dennis Moore And His Horse Concorde


dennis moore

So, what did you do on Sunday night?

Myself, I watched The Adventures of Robin Hood on TCM.  There I was, watching the film and posting comments on twitter about how superior Errol Flynn’s Robin Hood was to Russell Crowe’s when suddenly I realized that a lot of very strange tweets were appearing on my timeline.

One person tweeted, “WHAT THE FUCK, GAME OF THRONES!?”

Another tweeted: “OMG!  #GoT”

And my personal favorite: “no, no, no, no, no #GameOfThrones.”

Later, I discovered that these people were reacting to the Red Wedding on Game Of Thrones.  I have been using twitter since 2009 and I have never before seen so much anger and sadness as I did last night after the Starks were massacred on HBO.

Don’t get me wrong.  I enjoy Game Of Thrones and I DVR every episode but, at that moment, I was really happy to be watching The Adventures of Robin Hood.

Whenever I watch The Adventures of Robin Hood, I think about one of my favorite Monty Python skits, the story of Dennis Moore, the highwayman who attempts to steal from the rich and give to the poor and discovers that the redistribution of wealth isn’t as easy as he originally figured.

Or, as the Dennis Moore theme song puts it: “He steals from the poor and gives to the rich … Stupid bitch!”

In honor of The Adventures of Robin Hood, I figured why not share this classic skit?  If nothing else, maybe a little absurdist comedy is just what the doctor ordered for those of you who still haven’t recovered from the Red Wedding…

Quick Review: The Incredible Burt Wonderstone (dir. by Don Scardino)


url-2I don’t have a whole lot to say about The Incredible Burt Wonderstone. It’s such a compact, little film, there’s not much I can say without telling everyone the entire story. The trailer is the movie, let’s put it that way.

When I was little, I owned this deck of magic playing cards. On the back of every card was a circular pattern that told the reader what card they were holding, the next card in the deck and the card at the bottom of the set (if they were shuffled correctly). It only lasted a few days, but the effect of doing the trick – that look of amazement when the trick actually worked – was pretty cool. Once that time passed, the trick was stale and predictable.

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone is kind of like that. It’s a film that probably won’t be very memorable in the long run, especially when you have other films about magic like Neil Burger’s The Illusionist and Christopher Nolan’s The Prestige. At the start, it seems awesome, but once the story arcs develop, you may start wondering if you need to stick around for the rest. Truth be told, it’s not a film you have to rush out to see, though there are some scenes to laugh at. On the other hand, if you’re going to the movies just to be entertained, to just laugh for a while, this may be what you’re looking for.

After receiving a magic trick set as kid and watching a training video by the great Rance Holloway (Alan Arkin), young Burt Wonderstone decides he’s going to be a magician. He and his new best friend decide to train together over the years, enjoying the tricks until they become The Incredible Burt Wonderstone and Anton Marvelton. They end up doing so well that they become the headliners for a major Casino for the next 10 years, and this strains their friendship. Anton enjoys the magic for the entertainment it is, and Burt considers himself royalty, feeling a sense of entitlement for all the perks he receives. When Steve Gray (Jim Carrey) appears on the scene with his new tricks, Burt and Anton find themselves facing some serious competition. Can the duo come up with something as amazing as Grey serves up? Can Wonderstone deflate his incredibly huge ego?

The story, written by Johnathan Goldstein (Horrible Bosses) and John Francis Daley (Freaks and Geeks) is not bad for what it’s offering. Of the last 3 films I’ve seen (Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, Identity Thief, Jack & the Giant Slayer), it easily has the best pacing, but you can almost close your eyes and dictate what the next scene is going to be. There’s not a whole lot in the way of surprise, story wise…which I guess is what all the magic is for.  Not saying I could ever come up with anything better, though. For the director, Don Scardino, if this is first movie coming off of the 30 Rock episodes he’s done, he does a good job of keeping the story moving. The cast does well, but there’s nothing amazing with anyone here save for Carrey and Arkin. Carrell is basically himself in this film, which works well enough, and I felt that Buscemi was almost reenacting his role from The Big Lebowski. As a group, it seemed to make sense that Buscemi was the straight man to Carrell’s role.

Carrey’s Steve Grey is a lot like a David Blaine or Criss Angel, performing a mixture of illusion and stunt effects.  I have to admit that while I’m not a huge fan of Carrey’s recent efforts, I really don’t think this film would be as fun as it is without him in it. That the movie offers him up in small doses actually helps things. Olivia Wilde was nice as Wonderstone’s new assistant, but I would have liked her to do just a little more, or even better, she could have played a great rival. The same can be said of Alan Arkin, who had me smiling for most of the time he was in the film (though his appearance does kind of leave something of a plot hole in the story, but that’s just me).

The magic itself is more or less hit or miss. Depending on who you’re watching, the “tricks” were either worthy of a chuckle, made you simultaneously laugh and wince (Just about all of Grey’s were that way) or they showed one or two that made the audience at my showing gasp. For those moments, the movie was worth it, and the comedy is definitely there. Overall, I’d see this again if it were on cable or someone showed it to me, but it’s not a film I’d run right back to.

If only I could get that damn Abracadra song out of my head.

Guilty Pleasure No. 1: Half Baked


Half Baked

“Abba Zabba….You’re my only friend” — Thurgood

With the first month of January 2013 almost coming to an end I thought it was high time to introduce a new feature to the site. This one shall be called “Guilty Pleasure” and it will encompass all sorts of entertainment examples that I and those who on the site who wish to participate that they consider a personal guilty pleasure. It could be any film, music, book or games that one considers a personal favorite despite not being highly accepted by critics and the general population, at large.

The first entry to “Guilty Pleasure” is a stoner comedy that I always end up stopping whatever activity I’m doing at the moment to watch. I have it on DVD, will watch it on cable whenever it’s on and if a Blu-Ray version ever gets released I probably would buy it just to have it. This guilty pleasure film is 1998’s Half Baked starring Dave Chappelle and…well let’s just say all one needs to know is that it stars Dave Chappelle. It’s a mary jane flick that’s reached the levels of the Cheech and Chong flicks of the 70’s and 80’s.

My brother and I have seen this film so many times that we could quote scenes from it almost perfectly. I may not be quite the pothead that the characters in this film end up being, but anyone who has seen Half Baked knows at least one or two who fit the different type of stoners we find in it.

In the immortal words of Sampson Simpson: “YES! Cuban B!”

Rozen Maiden Manga to Get More Anime, Desu


When I first returned to watching anime and reading manga a little over 4 years ago one of the series that I really enjoyed and continue to enjoy since has been the series from the art duo of Peach-Pit. This series about living dolls and one hikikomori boy named Jun Sakurada reminded me that anime wasn’t just cute and disposable entertainment with simple writing. This series wasn’t just cute to look at, but had writing that struck a balance between comedy, drama and, for a series about dolls, it was dark and melancholy.

Rozen Maiden is the name of the series.

Now comes word that the manga that is still on-going will be receiving a new series (already two seasons and two OVA’s have been released) after almost 6 years of no new anime content. There’s no word of when the new Rozen Maiden series will premiere in Japan and whether it’ll get licensed for a release in North America, but just the news that the project has been green-lit should delight fans of the series. For one thing it’ll mean more desu.

Source: Anime News Network

Trailer: Cockneys vs. Zombies (Red Band)


What better way to kick-off Through the Shattered Lens’ tradition of the horror-themed month of October than a trailer that brings my favorite horror monster of all-time: the zombie horde.

Most zombie films try to be of the horrific and social-conscious variety. Let’s call this the Romero-effect. The grandfather of this horror subgenre was and is known to inject a dose (both subtle and heavy-handed) of social commentary to the scenes of apocalyptic gore and horror that others have tried to copy, mimic and emulate his style of varying degrees of success or failure. Then there are the zombie films that goes for the funny bone in addition to the usual gore and flesh-eating. This first started with the initial Return of the Living Dead film during the 80’s which spoofed the zombie genre without sacrificing the horror and gore. This type of zombie film is even more rare until the arrival of Edgar Wright’s Shaun of the Dead during themid-2000’s. Since then the success of this zombie-comedy there’s been more and more of this type of zombie film and most of them, to be honest, stinks to high heaven. It does make the adage that doing comedy is ultimately much harder to do than drama.

One such zombie-comedy that looks to be cashing in on the success of Wright’s film even now is another release from our cousins across the Pond with Cockneys vs. Zombies. It had made an appearance at this year’s Fantastic Fest and the reaction to the film has been quite positive and with this crowd of genre superfans with discerning taste this means just very good news for fans of the zombie genre looking for something new sink our teeth into.

While this is the type of film that never truly gets a wide release in the US I think it’ll be good for people to check it out once it comes out on video and On-Demand. I mean it has the geriatric and young bank robbers fighting zombies.

High School DxD gets 2nd Season


News that should make fellow site writer and contributor pantsukudasai56 very happy just came down the pipeline. According to Anime News Network the shonen series High School DxD has been given the greenlight for a second season.

While details about this second season has been, for the moment, quite sparse the fact that the season is now in production means that it’s not just a promise of one, but a guarantee that more harem hi-jinks involving the clueless Issei Hyodo and the beautiful, albeit demonic, girls of his high school. This is a series that’s definitely more about comedy than anything serious and/or thought provoking. Then again one can only survive on dramatic and deep anime for so long. Some levity needs to be mixed in with the dark and High School DxD certainly delivers in that front.

The popularity of the series (and the new season should get quite a welcome from its fans) also stems from the fact that it is a harem anime that also involves some very ecchi (fan service) moments. While this type of anime doesn’t appeal to everyone it still attracts a huge number of anime fans.

There’s no word when the new season will air, but until then I’m sure pantsukudasai56 will be anticipating ew stuff from his favorite character on the show: Koneko Toujou.

Source: Anime News Network

Trailer: The Sitter (Red Band)


To say that I’m not a big Jonah Hill fan would be an understatement. The characters he has played on film have ranged from annoyingly nebbish to downright obnoxious. An almost irrational rage builds up in me whenever I see a trailer with him in it either as a supporting cast member or one of the leads. To my surprise when I saw the red band trailer of his upcoming R-rated comedy, The Sitter, the rage I was feeling petered out the more I watched the trailer.

The Sitter stars Jonah Hill and is directed by one David Gordon Green who also made the hilarious Pineapple Express and also one of the creators of the HBO comedy series, Eastbound & Down. Unfortunately, Green also directed the very unfunny comedy earlier in 2011 called Your Highness. Here’s to hoping that The Sitter is more of the very hilarious kind and not the unfunny that was his latest comedy film this year.

From what I could tell in the trailer this film looks almost like a remake of the 80’s comedy, Adventures in Babysitting starring Elisabeth Shue. That was a funny film and if Jonah Hill and Green can deliver the raunchiness and laughs then I have a feeling The Sitter may just be worth a look-see.

The Sitter is set for a December 9, 2011 release.