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Horror Book Review: The Mall by Richie Tankersley Cusick

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Mall was first published in 1992 and really, it’s a story that could only have taken place in the early 90s.  Why is that?  Well, there’s a couple of reasons:

First off, it not only takes place in a mall but it also takes place during a time when everyone’s life revolved around the mall.  You can’t just order stuff online in this book.  Nope, you have to physically walk from store to store.  Sometimes, you even have to ride an elevator.  If you suggested to anyone in this book that they should just order something off of Amazon, they’d probably complain about having the pay the international shipping.

Secondly, this is a book in which characters regularly find themselves in situations where 1) there’s no escape and 2) there’s no one around to call for help.  Today, of course, anyone who gets stuck on an elevator can just call the cops on their phone.  By that some token, if you’ve got some weird stalker constantly calling you, you can just block him.  But, in the world of The Mall, there’s no way to block (or trace) a caller who uses a pay phone.  And, if you’re stuck on an elevator …. well, you’re just stuck there until your stalker decides to toss a dead body in there with you.

Anyway, this is one of those books that opens with a prologue in which a stalker stares at the object of his lust and spends a lot of time thinking about how she will eventually be his, though only when the circumstances are just right.  Apparently, because he’s obsessed with a teenage girl who works at the mall, the stalker spends a lot of time pretending to be a mannequin which …. agck!  I mean, c’mon, that is definitely a creepy image.

Trish Somerfeld works at the mall, with her best friend Nita.  Trish is employed at …. I kid you not, Muffin Madness.  Nita works at a clothing store called The Latest Trend (no seriously).  Nita is a little bit creeped out by the fact that another girl who worked at the mall recently disappeared.  The rumor is that the girl was murdered though it’s possible that she might just be out of town.  Trish, on the other hand, is disturbed by the fact that she keeps getting calls from someone who has a “womanish voice” and who says things like, “I’m eating your muffin right now.”  The stalker soon becomes known as the — *ahem* — Muffin Man.

Who is the Muffin Man?  Could he possibly be the cute guy who is always hanging out the mall and seems to be particularly interested in Trish?  (I mean, he winked at her!)  His name is Storm Reynolds and …. what?  THAT IS TOO HIS NAME!  DO YOU THINK I’D MAKE UP A NAME LIKE THAT!?

Where was I?  Oh yeah.  So anyway, Trish is totally being stalked and she knows it but, at the same time, she doesn’t really do much about it.  Even when she comes across a dead body with an ice pick in its head, she declines to let anyone know because she doesn’t want to get one of the mall security guards in trouble.  Anyway, Trish eventually is forced to deal with her stalker and the revelation of his identity is not really that much of a surprise.

It’s a dumb book but it’s also a fun book, largely because Richie Tankersley Cusick takes so much delight in describing life in the mall.  Because it’s a book that was written for 90s teenagers, the lead character can get away with doing a lot of dumb stuff and, as dense as Trish might be, at least she has two good friends, Nita and her twin sister, Imogene, who have always got her back.  Storm Reynolds is a bit of a jerk and you cringe when he’s set up as a love interest but, at the same time, his name is Storm so I always giggled whenever anyone talked about him.

Plus, how can you not enjoy a book where the main villain is known as the Muffin Man?  Seriously….

As far I know, Lifetime never did a film version of The Mall.  That’s a missed opportunity on their part, if you ask me.

Horror Book Review: Fevre Dream by George R. R. Martin

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

First published in 1982, George R. R. Martin’s Fevre Dream is a novel that centers on two men.  Captain Abner Marsh may be considered physically unattractive and lacking in certain social graces but he’s also known as one of the best steamboat captains in pre-Civil War Mississippi.  Joshua York may be wealthy and charming (if a bit pale and fond of a strange-tasting red liquor) but he knows little about how to actually run a steamboat.  That said, as York explains it to Marsh, he wants to build the fastest and most luxurious steamboat ever made.  Marsh may initially be weary of the seemingly eccentric York but he needs the money.

When the steamboat (which is christened the Fevre Dream) is eventually constructed, it turns out to be everything that York said it would be.  Soon, Marsh is sailing the boat up and down the Mississippi River.  The command of the boat and its passengers is largely left in Marsh’s hands.  York requests is that he and his friends be left alone in their cabins.  York doesn’t particularly enjoy coming out during the day….

Could York be a vampire?  Of course, he is!  But he’s not the type of vampire that everyone’s read about.  Instead, York is a visionary vampire.  His dream is to set his people free from their compulsive blood-drinking.  However, there’s another vampire moving up and down the river.  His name is Damon Julian and he has plans of his own for the Fevre Dream….

A vampire novel by George R. R. Martin!?  Indeed, it is!  Of course, since this is a Martin book, the vampires of Fevre Dream aren’t like the traditional vampires that we all know and love.  These vampires are a totally different species of being and one of the key points of the book is that humans cannot be transformed into vampires.  Indeed, the vampires view human as being mere “cattle,” being bred for their hunger.  York’s concern is that, if the vampires continue to feed on humans, the humans will eventually rise up and destroy them.  Damon, of course, is far less concerned about that.  Just as how the white slave owners arrogantly assume that their slaves have no desire to free, Damon and his followers arrogantly assume that the humans will always stay in their place.  Damon even has a human servant, Billy Tipton, who has been fooled into thinking that he might someday become a vampire as long as he does everything that Damon orders him to do.

It’s an interesting novel, one that does a good job of incorporating it’s paranormal story into an authentic, historical background.  If you’re really into vampires and steamboats, there’s a lot of both to be found in this book.  Unfortunately, I get the feeling that the people reading for the vampires will probably get bored with all pages devoted to steamboats while steamboat enthusiasts might not care much for the vampires.  Myself, I’m a history nerd and a lover of all things vampiric so there’s no way I wouldn’t appreciate a novel about vampires in 19th century Mississippi.

It may not be for everyone but Fevre Dream is a well-written and compulsively readable historical vampire epic.

Horror Book Review: Book of the Dead by Jamie Russell

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

If you’re still making out your Halloween movie list, might I suggest that you pick up a copy of Jamie Russell’s Book of the Dead?  Because, seriously — what’s a Halloween movie night without a few zombies thrown into the mix?

Book of the Dead is comprehensive study of the history of zombie cinema, starting with a look at how the legend of the zombie first began and then progressing through White Zombie, the dead films of George Romero, the great Italian zombie films of Lucio Fulci, and finally moving all the way to the modern era.  Scary zombies, funny zombies, porno zombies, political zombies, underwater zombies, French zombies; they’re all here!  It’s a well-written book, one that was clearly written by somebody who not only loves the movies in general but zombie films in specific.  Russell seems to be having so much fun writing about these films that it’s impossible not to share his enthusiasm.

Even better, the book contains a comprehensive appendix that lists and reviews basically every zombie film ever made!  Seriously, there all here — from the obscure to famous.  When I first started to seriously study the history of horror cinema, Book of the Dead was one of the first resources that I purchased and I used to obsessively study that appendix.  It’s thanks to this book that I discovered films like I, Zombie: The Chronicles of Pain.  It was thanks to this book that I discovered that there was more to zombie cinema than just corpses eating brains.

This book was originally published in 2005 and, at that time, basically went up to the Resident Evil-era of zombie films.  Subsequent editions have been updated with even more zombie films and even more zombie reviews!  This is the perfect book for all of your undead needs!

 

Book Review: The Hell Candidate by Graham Masterton

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

First off, ignore the fact that the cover for the 1981 first edition of The Hell Candidate credits Thomas Luke as being the author.  This book was written by Graham Masterton and, with its combination of sex, violence, and transgressive political commentary, it’s easily identifiable as being a Masterton novel.  Why was it published under the name Thomas Luke?  Perhaps, at the time it was published, it was felt that the British Graham Masterton wasn’t a well-enough known name in the United States.  Or maybe it was felt that the book would prove to be so controversial that it had to be published under a pseudonym.  Who knows?  All subsequent editions of the book have credited Graham Masterton as being the author so, obviously, it’s no longer controversial (or even outlandish) to suggest that an American politician might be in league with the devil.

The Hell Candidate is told from the point of view of Jack Russo, a PR man who has been hired to work on the presidential campaign of Hunter Peal.  At the start of his campaign, Peal is a calm and rather even-handed candidate, advocating common sense solutions for America’s problems.  Everyone acknowledges that he’s a good man but no one gives him a chance of actually winning his party’s nomination.  That all changes when Peal’s personality suddenly changes, seemingly overnight.  Suddenly, Peal is loud, profane, and angry, a candidate who promises to destroy America’s enemies and make everyone at home rich.  His managers worry that Peal has gone insane and prepare themselves for a disaster on the campaign trail.

Instead, it turns out that the voters really like this new, profane and insane Hunter Peal.  No matter what Peal says or does, the crowds love him and soon, Hunter Peal is moving into the White House.  Is it because the people truly love this aspiring dictator or is it because Hunter Peal made a deal with the devil?

The Hell Candidate is an effective novel, precisely because we know that most politicians would gladly make a deal with the devil if it meant a chance to set up residence in the White House.  Indeed, what was presumably meant to be shocking when this novel was written is rather common place now.  I mean, seriously — profanity on the campaign trail?  Oh my!  Bragging about your ability to destroy your enemies?  Horror!  Cynically abusing the power of the office of the presidency?  OH MY GOD!  What makes the book memorable, though, is its suggestion that the voters don’t necessarily need to be influenced by the devil to vote for a candidate like Hunter Peal.  Instead, the book suggests that a dictator is secretly what most voters desire.

In the end, the book suggests that the Vatican might be able to help us deal with a Satanically-possessed president but who can save the American people from themselves?

Book Review: Haunted Heartland by Beth Scott and Michael Norman

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s review comes straight from my Aunt Kate’s paperback book collection.  It’s Haunted Heartland by Beth Scott and Michael Norman!

First published in 1985, Haunted Heartland is a collection of supposedly true stories about ghosts and other supernatural things.  The catch is that all of the stories take place in “American’s heartland.”

Where is the heartland?  Well, according to this book, the heartland is made up of Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, Nebraska, Ohio, and Wisconsin.  So, sorry, Arkansas!  Too bad, Oklahoma!  Your ghosts do not qualify for inclusion in this book that’s a shame because both Arkansas and Oklahoma are home to some pretty interesting ghosts.  That said, the ten states that are profiled in Haunted Heartland are apparently home to some fascinating stories of their own.

For instance, did you know that Egypt, Illinois is nearly as haunted as Chicago?  Of course, I guess when you’re the home state of Al Capone and the Chicago Outfit, you’ll end up collecting a number of restless spirits.  Since President Lincoln was from Illinois, the authors also take the time to recount Lincoln’s numerous supernatural encounters.  The ghosts and the dream weavers loved Abe Lincoln.

Did you know that La Llorona has actually been spotted in Gary, Indiana?

Did you know about the poltergeist of Gutenberg, Iowa?

Or how about the mad woman of Topeka, Kansas?

Did you know that Michigan is haunted by phantom ships?

Ever heard of the phantom miner of Minnesota?

Did you know that Missouri’s own Mark Twain was psychic?

Have you ever been curious about the grinning skeletons of Nebraska?

Have you ever searched for the headless biker of Ohio?

Could you survive meeting the wandering dead of Wisconsin?

All these stories and more are detailed in Haunted Heartland!  It’s a pretty enjoyable book.  Norman and Scott narrate their tales of the paranormal in a breezy and fun manner, with the stated goal being more to entertain as opposed to terrify.  Even with that in mind, though, Haunted Heartland is a treasure trove from aspiring horror writers searching for inspiration.

Book Review: Italian Horror By Jim Harper

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

As our long time readers know, I absolutely love Italian horror.  I was very lucky to discover the greatness of Italian horror when I was a teenager (it was a double feature of Suspiria and Blade In the Dark that did it for me) and I’ve been lucky enough to be able to spend the last few years studying everything that made the Italian horror films of the 80s and early 90s so memorable.

However, I do realize that not everyone has spent the past few years watching the films of Dario Argento, Lucio Fulci, Lamberto Bava, Michele Soavi, and Joe D’Amato.  For those who are just starting to learn about the history of Italian horror cinema, I highly suggest Italian Horror by Jim Harper, a short but highly readable overview of the genre.  Covering the years of 1979 through 1994, Italian Horror contains insightful reviews of films both famous (The Beyond, Dellamorte Dellamore) and infamous (Zombi 3 and so many others).  Even better, there are reviews of several of the more obscure Italian horror films, the ones that actually take some effort to track down.  For instance, I never would have seen Ratman if I hadn’t come across it in Harper’s book.  And I know that you’re probably saying, “Would it be that a bad thing if you had never see Ratman?”  Listen, Italian horror fans understand.

If you’re trying to start your studies of Italian horror off on the right foot, this is definitely a good book to start with.  Read it and prepare to have a hundred new movies to watch afterwards.

Paperback Review: The Vampire Curse by Daoma Winston

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Yesterday, Erin shared the cover.  Today, I’m reviewing the book!  That’s what teamwork is all about!

This 1971 novel is all about an 18 year-old named Teena Halliday.  Needless to say, anyone with a name like Teena Halliday is going to be young, beautiful, and innocent.  Teena was perfectly happy living in a Mediterranean villa with her mom but then her mom had to go off and get remarried.  With her mom heading off to South America on a whirlwind honeymoon, Teena is being sent to Massachusetts, where she’ll stay with the Rentlows, some distant relatives that she has yet to actually meet.  Teena is hoping that, once she’s in Boston, she’ll get the chance to spend some time with her father.  However, when Teena arrives, her father is nowhere to be seen.

Instead, Teena is met by the mysterious but handsome Rory, who takes her to Rentlow Retreat.  Teena meets the Rentlows and discovers that they’re a bit more eccentric than she was expecting.  Neither Uncle Charlie nor Aunt June seem to be happy to see her and Teena’s cousin Estrella obviously views Teena as being competition for Rory’s attention.  In fact, the only person who seems to be the least bit welcoming is Jeremy Rentlow.

Jeremy is a world-renowned sculptor, despite the fact that everyone and everything that poses for him seems to end up dead.  The family seems to always be nervous around Jeremy.  Could it have something to do with those rumors that Jeremy might be a vampire?  Teena isn’t quite sure what to make of Jeremy, especially when he starts to tell her that she’s the most beautiful woman that he’s ever seen and that she simply must pose for him.  Teena is hesitant but what else is she going to do?  I mean, she has to do something to pass the time, especially considering that her dog Scuffy dies of a mysterious “wasting” disease shortly after Teena arrives at Rentlow Retreat.

Of course, soon, Teena is not only starting to feel a bit anemic herself but Jeremy suddenly announces that they’re going to be married and Teena is not to leave the estate!  Is Jeremy a vampire or is he a human with serious and dangerous control issues?  Is Teena being drained of blood or is she feeling weak because of the stress of the situation in which she’s found herself?  You can probably guess the answer to both of those questions.

Just like Air Force One Is Haunted, The Vampire Curse is one of the books that I found while searching through my aunt’s old paperback collection.  It was a fun and (at 196 pages) quick read.  It’s very much a gothic romance first and a vampire story second but there’s an undeniable charm to the efficiency with which author Daoma Winston told the story.  Everything you could want from a gothic romance is here: breathless, first person storytelling, an old house, an eccentric family, a dark secret, passionate kisses and, of course, a hedge maze.  There’s always a hedge maze.

The Vampire Curse was an enjoyable read.  I’m a bit stunned that Lifetime has never adapted the book into a film.  If they can turn everything credited to V.C. Andrews into a “film event,” surely they can find some time for The Vampire Curse.

 

 

Horror Book Review: Encyclopedia Of Vampire Mythology by Theresa Bane

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Now, here’s the interesting thing about vampires:

They’ve been around forever.

Seriously, long before Bram Stoker first put pen to paper, there were legends about vampires.  Of course, they weren’t always called vampires.  In the Middle East, there was talk of the Afrit, which was the soul of a murdered person who would return to the spot of its death and drink the blood of anyone unlucky enough to cross it.  In Macedonia, it was said that certain people who had lived wicked lives and never eaten pork would return to life as a blood-drinking wild boar.  In Iceland, it was the Alfemoe who sucked blood while the ancient Greeks could tell you all about Empusa, who drank blood to maintain a youthful appearance.

Of course, we all know that vampires don’t exist, or at least they don’t exist as supernatural creatures.  Still, it is somewhat amazing that all of these different societies and cultures developed essentially the same myth at roughly the same time, despite not having much contact with each other.  There is just something universal about both the threat and the allure of the vampire.

With all of the different legends out there, it can be difficult to keep your mythological vampires straight.  Fortunately, the Encyclopedia of Vampire Mythology is here to help!  Written by a vampirologist (albeit one who goes out of her way to make sure that we understand that she personally doesn’t believe in them), this encyclopedia has entries for all of the various mythological vampires and their legends.  With the exception of Dracula, this encyclopedia doesn’t include any of the “fictional” vampires from television or film.  If you’re looking for an entry on Angel or Edward Cullen, this is not the place to look.  But what the book does have is entries on the legendary beings who came before the celebrity vampires of today.  It makes for interesting reading and it also serves as a reminder that there’s more to the vampire legend than what we’ve seen in the movies or read in novels.

For both authors and readers of vampire fiction, the Encyclopedia of Vampire Mythology is a valuable resource.

 

Horror Book Review: The Lovecraft Lexicon by Anthony Pearsall

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Are you planning on searching for Cthulhu this October?

If you are, you might want to think again.  Seriously, Cthulhu does not like being woken up.  The majority of people who have gotten on Cthulhu’s bad side are dead and the one who survived have gone insane.  Add to that, it’s not always easy to track down Cthulhu.  I mean, sometimes it can be difficult to tell one lost city from another.  I guess you could try to track down your local Cthulhu cult or maybe you could summon Nyarlathotep and ask him for directions.  If I remember correct, I think that’s what Randolph Carter used to do.

If, despite all the warnings, you’re really determined to track down Cthulhu this summer, you need to order yourself a copy of Anthony Pearsall’s The Lovecraft Lexicon.  First published in 2005, The Lovecraft Lexicon contains all the information that you could possibly want about all of the persons, places, and things in the tales of H.P. Lovecraft.

It’s set up like an encyclopedia, with entries on …. well, everything.  You want to know about Charles Dexter Ward?  He’s in here.  Curious about Azathoth?  This book has all the information that you need to find.  Pearsall details the adventures of Randolph Carter and also sorts through the many legends about the Necronomicon.  This book is the next best thing to taking a course at Miskontic University.

However, the Lovecraft Lexicon is more than just an encyclopedia.  It’s also a reader’s guide, one that examines just what may have been going through Lovecraft’s mind when he wrote about some of his most infamous creations.  The book not only takes a look at Lovecraft’s work but also at the man himself and, to its credit, it’s honest about both Lovecraft’s flaws as a person and his strengths as a writer.  In the end, the book celebrates Lovecraft’s imagination and his influence on future writers.  Whether you’re a reader who is just now starting in on the works of H.P. Lovecraft or a writer looking to continue to tales of Cthulhu, The Lovecraft Lexicon is an invaluable resource.

Book Review: Air Force One Is Haunted By Robert J. Serling

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

OH MY GOD, AIR FORCE ONE IS HAUNTED!

A few weeks ago, I was going through my aunt’s collection of old paperback novels, searching for anything that I could possibly review during October.  While I found a good deal of promising books, I have to admit that I almost squealed for joy when I came across Air Force One Is Haunted.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I had never heard of the book before and I knew absolutely nothing about the plot.  But I saw that title and I knew I just had to read it.  I mean, seriously — Air Force One Is Haunted!  That’s like the greatest title ever!  I looked at that title and I asked myself, “What’s haunting Air Force One?  Angry druids?  Zombies?  Succubi?  Woodrow Wilson?”  Either way, it sounded like it had the potential to be terrifying!

Then I got home and I read the book and I discovered that …. well, let’s just say that my imagination got ahead of me.

Air Force Is Haunted was originally published in 1985 and the author was not only a world-renowned aviation expert but he was also the brother of Twilight Zone-creator Rod Serling.  So, it’s perhaps not surprising that Air Force One Is Haunted feels like an extended episode of The Twilight Zone.  It’s one of those things where a good but conflicted person has the chance to do something that seems like it might be good for him but it will also be bad for the world at large.  Fortunately, a ghost shows up and gives him a lot of advice.

The conflicted person, in this case, is President Jeremy Haines.  Haines is in his second term and it seems like the entire world is falling apart around him.  America’s in the middle of a great depression.  Russia and China are teaming up to possibly try to take over the world.  President Haines could always launch a first strike, which would wipe out Russia as a world power but which would also kill a lot of innocent civilians.  He can’t make up his mind what to do and, as a result, people across the world are starting to view him as being weak.  The President has even started to see a psychiatrist but they’re soon too busy having tasteful, mass market paperback-style sex to actually do anything about the President’s issues.

If only there was a mediocre ex-president that Haines could talk to and get some advice from!  However, it appears that even Jimmy Carter is refusing to take his calls.

That’s when FDR shows up.

That’s right.  It turns out that FDR is haunting Air Force One and, whenever President Haines boards the plane, he ends up getting advice from him.  FDR has a lot of stories to tell about governing during an economic depression.  He also says “Bully,” a lot, even though that was Teddy’s phrase.

Anyway, I think the book would have been a bit more interesting if FDR had turned out of be some sort of malevolent demon who intentionally gave President Haines bad advice that eventually led to World War III.  And, to be honest, I kept expecting that too happen.  I kept expecting FDR’s eyes to suddenly burn like hellfire as he said, “Burn it!  BURN IT TO THE GROUND!”  But that never happened.  Instead, this is one of those books where FDR is the greatest dead president ever and, in the end, middle-of-the-road liberalism keeps the world safe for democracy.

As you’re probably guessing, this is kind of a corny book but it is written with a lot of sincerity.  One gets the feeling that Serling really did feel that, if only America’s leaders just looked to the ghost of FDR, every problem in the world would be solved.  The book is also overwritten in the way that well-meaning, melodramatic novels of the past often were.  One character is identified as having a “gnawing ulcer of doubt” deep in the “bowels of his conscience.”  (Ewwwwwww!)  That’s the type of book that this is.  It’s definitely a product of its time but, if you’re a history nerd like me, that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

If anyone is haunting Air Force One, I personally hope that it’s Rutherford B. Hayes.  He was the best!