It’s been 45 years since this first aired but some moments just defy time and achieve immortality. Happy Thanksgiving!
Category Archives: TV
Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 3.17 “April’s Love/We Three/Happy Ending”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!
This week, a special guest returns!
Episode 3.17 “April’s Love/We Three/Happy Ending”
(Dir by George Tyne, originally aired on January 12th, 1980)
Let’s see. This week’s episode is entitled April’s Love/We Three/Happy Ending and….
Wait?
Whose love?
April?
Oh no (or oh yes, depending on how you view things), it’s a Charo episode!
Charo was hardly the only celebrity to frequently appear on The Love Boat but she was the only one to always play the same character. April first boarded the ship as a stowaway and then she returned as an entertainer. She appeared at least once in almost every season. In many ways, Charo was the perfect fit for The Love Boat. She was loud, flamboyant, and shameless. She was sexy but innocent. She was the epitome of The Love Boat aesthetic. At the same time, a little Charo went a long way and, whenever she boarded the ship, you knew the episode was pretty much going to be 75% Charo.
That’s the case here, in which the crew makes such a big deal over April that you have to wonder if they’re aware that there are other passengers on board. April boards the ship with her manager and fiancé, Honest Tex (Forrest Tucker). The crew doesn’t trust Honest Tex, especially when they find out that he was a used car salesman before he met April. When Honest Tex hears Julie playing her flute and offers to get her a recording contract, the crew assumes that he wants to cheat on April!
(Side note: Since when did Julie start playing the flute?)
Fortunately, Honest Tex turns out to be sincere and he really does have a heart as big as Texas. After April tells him what the crew has been saying about him, Honest Tex admits that he has been lying about something. He was actually born in New Jersey. April sings a song, the crew apologizes, and April and Honest Tex leave the boat a happy couple.
While this is going on, William and Betty Robinson (Don Adams and Juliet Mills) board the boat so they can get some work done. They are married screenwriters but they are on the verge of divorce. Once they finish their current script, they can split up. The only problem is that William doesn’t want to split up with her. Isaac suggests that William just never finish the script. William hides the script in his nightstand and then, saying that it’s been lost, he works with Betty to write a new script in which a couple stays together. Betty and William realize that they still love each other. Betty discovers that William hid the script but she then confesses that she had another copy of the original script the whole time. Awwwwwww! This was a cute story. Don Adams was a lot more likable here than he is on Check It Out! and Juliet Mills is a lot less annoying than her sister Hayley.
(Admittedly, I really only know Hayley from her time as Miss Bliss on those weird episodes of Saved By The Bell. But seriously, Miss Bliss was the worst!)
Finally, Tom Thornton (Ross Martin) boards the boat and is surprised to see his ex-girlfriend, Martha (Marjorie Lord), and Martha’s adopted daughter, Laura Rogers (Laurie Walters). Laura happens to be Tom’s daughter! Tom isn’t sure whether or not he should reveal he is Laura’s father but meeting Vicki and hearing about how happy Vicki was when she discover Captain Stubing was her father leads to Tom telling Laura the truth. Laura is happy to have a father and Martha is happy to reunite with Tom. This was another sweet story, featuring sincere performances from both Ross Martin and Marjorie Lord. (Plus, Vicki finally did something to justify breaking all of the labor laws that are undoubtedly being violated by having a 12 year-old working on a cruise ship.)
This episode featured two sweet and sincerely-acted stories but both of them are overshadowed by April and Honest Tex. Personally, I think April is an amusing character and, as I said, Charo was the epitome of the ideal Love Boat celebrity guest. But it’s still hard not to feel that the other passengers deserved just as much attention as Charo received in this episode. That said, this was still an enjoyable cruise. A good time was had by all. I know Charo will return in future episodes but I have a feeling we’ll never hear from Honest Tex again.
Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Baywatch Nights 1.2 “Bad Blades”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, an detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997. The entire show is currently streaming on Youtube!
This week, David Hasselhoff battles John O’Hurley on Baywatch Nights!
Episode 1.2 “Bad Blades”
(Dir by George Fenady, originally aired on October 7th, 1995)
Cosmetics mogul Frances Sandreen (Lois Nettleton) has hired Mitch, Garner, and Ryan to help her track down her wayward son, Todd (Jason Hervey). Like a lot of rich and spoiled kids, Todd has had his problems with the law. He’s a wanderer, someone who has spent most of his short life pursuing extreme sports and who dropped out of college after just a semester or two. Mitch and Garner think that the kid sounds like a spoiled brat but they need the money so they take the case.
(Why is Mitch so poor? He never seemed to be struggling financially on Baywatch.)
Unfortunately, Todd has fallen in with an even worse crowd than his old prep school friends. He’s joined a group of roller-skating burglars who rob apartments and delivery vans and then skate away into the darkness. One reason why they’re so good at their job is because they spend hours every day practicing. If you’ve ever wanted to spend 20 minutes of your life watching footage of people skating off of ramps in slow motion, this episode should be right up your alley.
Leading this gang of thieves is the impeccably-dressed Kemp. Kemp is played by John O’Hurley of Dancing With Stars, Family Feud, and Seinfeld fame. (O’Hurley also appeared in a few episodes of Baywatch, always playing a different character.) With his perfect haircut and his resonant voice, O’Hurley makes for an entertaining villain. There’s nothing about O’Hurley’s performance that suggests that he is in any way taking the role of Kemp particularly seriously. O’Hurley plays him like a comic book villain and that is definitely to the episode’s benefit.
As entertaining as O’Hurley and the skating scenes are, this episode reveals a huge problem with the first season of Baywatch Nights. Other than the fact that Hasselhoff is wearing a shirt for the entire runtime, there’s nothing about this episode to really distinguish it from a typical episode of Baywatch. Baywatch has its share of episodes about spoiled rich kids and their worried parents. Baywatch was always looking for an excuse to pad out an episode with some extreme sports footage. Even the scene where Garner and Mitch chase the thieves across the Los Angeles river felt like it was lifted from Baywatch or any other Los Angeles-based crime show for that matter.
As well, it’s impossible not to notice that, for an a show called Baywatch Nights, most of the action takes place during the day. I thought being a private eye was only supposed to be Mitch’s night job. Who is watching the beach while Mitch is investigating crimes? It really does seem like Mitch is violating some sort of lifeguard code here.
Next week: Mitch searches for the only witness to a murder!
Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 4.1 “The Devil and Mandy Breem/The Millionaire”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986. Almost the entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube, Daily Motion, and a few other sites.
This week, season 4 begins with …. THE DEVIL!
Episode 4.1 “The Devil and Mandy Breem/The Millionaire”
(Dir by Vince Edwards, originally aired on October 25th, 1980)
The fourth season of Fantasy Island opens with Mr. Roarke and Tattoo once again upset with each other.
When a man named Fred Catlett (Arte Johnson) wrote to Mr. Roarke and said that his fantasy was to become an instant millionaire, Roarke turned down his fantasy for …. reasons, I guess. Seriously, becoming an instant millionaire sounds like a typical fantasy and I seem to remember that it’s one that Roarke has granted for other guests on the series. I’m not sure why Roarke decided that poor, meek Fred Catlett was somehow unworthy of his fantasy.
For whatever reason, though, Roarke does turn down the fantasy. So, imagine his surprise when Fred shows up on the island! Tattoo explains that he decided to give Fred his fantasy. Roarke tells Tattoo that he’ll receive no help and no money from him. Tattoo is shocked and I’m wondering if this means that Fred will get a refund. I mean, Fantasy Island is not cheap. Actually, if Fred already had enough money to come to Fantasy Island, that does make his fantasy seem a little bit weird. It seems like you have to be a millionaire to get your fantasy in the first place.
Roarke, I should add, is a hypocrite because he totally suspends the rules for this week’s other guest. Mandy Breem (Carol Lynley) has come to the Island with her fantasy being that she wants the Island to save her life. However, Mandy refused to explain all of the details of her fantasy until she came to the Island. Roarke allows her to come, despite not knowing what she wants. If Tattoo did something like that, Roarke would never let him hear the end of it.
So, what is Mandy’s fantasy? A year ago, Mandy’s husband (Adam West) underwent a surgery. Fearful of his life, Mandy made a deal with …. THE DEVIL! She agreed that, if he saved her husband’s life, she would give up her soul in a year’s time. Well, that year is coming to a close and Mandy has come to Fantasy Island, hoping that she can somehow get out of the deal. The Devil (played by a dapper Roddy McDowall) has followed her and soon, Roarke must confront the Lord of Darkness for the sake of Mandy’s soul.
This is a really fun story, largely because the performance of Roddy McDowall as the devil. Wearing a black suit and a white tie and delivering all of his lines with just the right mix of menace, sarcasm, and camp McDowall is the ideal trickster. The smoky confrontation between Roarke and the Devil is the highlight of the episode, with both Montalban and McDowall both seeming to relish they drama of the moment. Ricardo Montalban once said that, while the show’s producers wanted to keep Roarke as enigmatic as possible, he always envisioned Roarke as being a fallen angel who was doing his penance on Fantasy Island. And, indeed, there is a hint of that in his confrontation with the Devil, with the show suggesting that this is neither the first nor the final time that the two shall meet.
As for the other fantasy, Tattoo’s solution is to steal a magic lamp and give it to Mike. Mike rubs the lamp and wishes for a million dollars. A briefcase full of money flies through the sky and lands in front of him. Mike is convinced the magic worked but actually the briefcase was tossed out of a moving car and now, three thieves (Arlene Golonka, Ross Martin, and Joe Turkel) want their money back! It all works out in the end. Despite Roarke’s earlier refusal to grant Fred his wish, this was ultimately a typical Fantasy Island fantasy. While it really couldn’t compete with Mr. Roarke facing off against the Devil, it did, at least, give Tattoo something to do. One gets the feeling that this episode was specifically conceived so that both Ricardo Montalban and Herve Villechaize could get their chance in the spotlight without having to actually interact with each other. And it works out wonderfully, with Tattoo’s silly antics providing a nice balance to the more dramatic stuff involving Mr. Roarke.
All in all, even if it’s obvious that Ricardo Montalban and Herve Villechaize were still not getting along behind the scene, this was a fantastic start for season 4!
Late Night Retro Television Reviews: CHiPs 1.2 “Undertow”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!
This week, Ponch takes a deep breath and he gets real high.
Episode 1.2 “Undertow”
(Dir by Christian I. Nyby II, originally aired on September 22nd, 1977)
On tonight’s episode of CHiPs, a true crisis breaks out.
The California Highway Patrol’s basketball team loses a game!
Now, they would have won the game if Ponch had been playing. I’m only two episodes into this series and it’s already pretty obvious that there’s apparently nothing that Ponch can’t do. However, while at the scene of an accident on the highway, Ponch stood right in front of a leaky cannister of nitrous oxide! He ended up getting so high that he started seeing double, dancing in the halls of the station, and basically just acting like a total jackass. Of course, he smiled the whole time. Baker was less amused.
Because of his temporary high, Ponch was sent home and ordered to stay in bed for a day. He missed the game and the CHiPs lost to some other off-duty branch of California law enforcement. Fortunately, Sgt. Getraer is able to set up a rematch and, with Ponch now able to play, the CHiPs win by two points! And, of course, the winning shot is taken by Ponch because there’s nothing that Ponch can’t do. This episode ends with a series of freeze frames of Ponch winning the game and proving that California has the best highway patrol in the country.
Of course, the basketball game is only the B-plot of this episode of CHiPs. The main storyline deals with fake tow truck driver (Angelo de Meo) who is listening to the police radio for calls from women who have broken down on the highway. The driver goes to wherever the women are calling from but, instead of towing their car, he instead steals their money! The first time that Ponch and Baker chase him, the crooked tow truck driver gets away. The second time, they catch him. Of course, both of the chases lead to multi-car wrecks on the highway. This episode features the first instance of a car flipping over in slow motion on this show. Apparently, that would go on to become a CHiPs trademark.
Of course, there are other little things that Ponch and Baker have to deal with. They pull over a drunk driver (Jim Backus) and Ponch, who is high from the nitrous oxide, struggles to give him a sobriety test. They also pull over an old surfer (Paul Brinegar), who has a talking myna bird in his truck. The bird was cute. These scenes did not add up too much but I imagine they were included to drive home the idea that Ponch and Baker are professionals, even if they do spend a lot of time talking about basketball.
This episode was actually kind of fun. Erik Estrada is not a particularly subtle actor to begin with and this episode actually gives him an excuse to overact even more than usual. As much fun as it is to watch Estrada bounce off the walls, it’s even more interesting to glance over at Larry Wilcox and see just how much he appears to resent having to work with someone who always has to be the center of every scene. Neither Wilcox nor Baker seem particularly unhappy about Ponch being sidelined for a good deal of the episode. Just as in the pilot, the chase scenes were genuinely well-filmed and it was impossible not to enjoy the shots of the motorcycles weaving in and out of traffic.
Next week, Ponch will probably save someone’s life while Baker seethes in the background. We’ll see!
Retro Television Reviews: Miami Vice 1.11 “Give a Little, Take a Little”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
Tonight’s episode is a reminder that you don’t mess with Miami Vice!
Episode 1.11 “Give a Little, Take a Little”
(Dir by Bobby Roth, originally aired on December 7th, 1984)
Oh my God, this episode…. this episode put me through an emotional ringer. After two episodes that were somewhat light and airy, Give A Little, Take A Little is a return to the dark and surreal storytelling that was Miami Vice’s signature style.
Things start out on an energetic note, with a montage of Miami nightlife set to the tune of Tina Turner singing You Better Be Good To Me. For once, Gina (Saundra Santiago) and Trudy (Olivia Brown) are seen before Crockett and Tubbs, this time purchasing appropriately trashy (but stylish) outfits for their undercover prostitution sting. When Crockett and Tubbs are finally seen, they’re heading over to see their informant, Noogie (Charlie Barnett). The very high and very talkative Noogie tells them about a warehouse that is being used by a dealer.
At the warehouse, Crockett and Tubbs find a nervous watchman, Bob Rickert (Lenny Von Dohlen). The obviously terrified Bob explains that he’s just watching the warehouse for an old college friend of his. When Tubbs and Crockett open up a box and yank out several bags of pills, Bob admits that he knows his friend is a drug dealer but Bob also insists that he’s never sold any drugs in his life. Sonny takes sympathy on Bob and, after Bob gives them the name of his friend, he allows Bob to go home to his wife.
Bob’s friend is Sally Alvarado (a very young and smoldering Michael Madsen). After the expected car chase, Crockett and Tubbs arrest him. However, Alvarado’s lawyer — Richard Cain (Terry O’Quinn, of future Stepfather and Lost fame) — demands that Crockett reveal the name of his confidential source. (When Crockett meets with the lawyer, he insists on calling him, “Dick.”) The judge at Alvarado’s trial agrees that Alvarado has a right to know who has accused him of being a drug dealer and she orders that Crockett name his informant. When Crockett refuses, Crockett goes to jail.
Meanwhile, Gina and Trudy are working at Club Ocho, which is owned by Cinco (Tony Plana). They are both pretending to be sex workers who have just moved down to Miami from Philadelphia. Cinco sends them out to work the streets, where they are picked up every night by their fellow Miami Vice detectives, Switek and Zito. When Cinco’s boss, Lupo Ramirez (the great Burt Young), spots Gina at the Club, he promotes her to working directly for him. When Ramirez comes to suspect that Gina might be an informant, he invites her to his house late at night for a meeting and, off-screen, he rapes her.
Crockett is released from jail, despite having not named his informant. He assumes that Lt. Castillo called in a marker but Castillo instead reveals that Bob felt so guilty about Sonny being in jail that he went to Cain and confessed to being the informant. He also agreed not to testify against Alvarez. While Sonny was still sitting in jail, Sally Alvarez was released from prison.
That night, Noogie introduces Sonny and Tubbs to another informant, Trick Baby (Henry Sanders). Impressed that Crockett went to jail to protect an informant, Trick Baby tells Sonny and Tubbs that Sally Alvarez is Ramirez’s second in command. He also reveals that Ramirez is sending Cinco to kill Gina.
Back at her apartment, Gina is being comforted by Trudy when Cinco shows up. Fortunately, Crockett and Tubbs show up at well. A chase and gunfight leads to Cinco being seriously wounded. Cinco promises that, if he lives, he’ll testify against Alvarez and Ramirez.
At Club Ocho, Alvarez is watching as Switek makes his debut as a stand-up comedian. Switek’s act is terrible but it provides the cover needed for Crockett and Tubbs to arrest Alvarez. After being told that Cinco has ratted him out, Alvarez agrees to rat out Ramirez.
The next morning, Gina and Trudy show up at Ramirez’s mansion. Gina draws her gun and tells Ramirez that he’s under arrest. Ramirez, who is holding the knife that he was using to make his breakfast, laughs and smugly says that Gina can’t arrest him after what “we’ve shared.”
And….
GINA SHOOTS HIM!
HELL YEAH!
Seriously, that was one of the most satisfying moments that I’ve experienced since I started watching this show. It’s also a reminder of how different the cops on Miami Vice were from most of the other cops who showed up on crime shows in the 80s and 90s. Just when you’re expecting Gina to sigh, lower her gun, and read Ramirez his rights because she’s a cop and a cop has to obey the law, she shoots him. And since Ramirez was dumb enough to act like a smug jackass while holding a knife, the shooting will undoubtedly be ruled as being justified.
This was an emotional episode and not always easy to watch but it all built to a powerful conclusion. While I did spend a lot of time playing “spot the famous guest star,” I was even happier that this episode finally gave Miami Vice‘s often neglected supporting cast to show what they could do. John Diehl, Olivia Brown, Michael Talbott, and especially Saundra Santiago all got their chance to shine in this episode.
Next week, Giancarlo Esposito plays a drug dealer decades before Breaking Bad.
Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Degrassi Junior High 1.10 “Smokescreen”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi Junior High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1987 to 1989! The series can be streamed on YouTube!
This week, Rick and Caitlin team up to save the planet!
Episode 1.10 “Smokescreen”
(Dir by John Bertram, originally aired on March 22nd, 1987)
Caitlin has a crush on the school bad boy, Rick. All of her friends say that Rick is dumb and a criminal. He’s known for getting into fights (though, as we learned a few episodes ago, most of his bruises actually came from his abusive father) and he was also held back a grade. Everyone tells Caitlin that she needs to stay away from Rick but Caitlin says they’re wrong about Rick. Rick, she says, is sensitive and misunderstood and she can fix him.
Agck! Seriously, I’ve been there. I knew exactly what Caitlin was feeling and what was going through her mind because I’ve always had a weakness for the troubled bad boys who hide their poetic soul underneath a tough exterior. When I was in high school, I idealized more delinquents than I can even begin to remember. Unfortunately, it often turned out that guys who had a bad reputation had that reputation for a good reason. But still….
Anyway, Rick also has a crush on Caitlin and he doesn’t realize that she had one on him despite the fact that she’s totally obvious about it. (Maybe Caitlin’s friends have a point about Rick not being the smartest kid at school.) After finding out that Caitlin is a member of the Environmental Action Committee, Rick decides to join as well. At first, snobby Kathleen is like, “Rick can’t join, he’s a criminal!” But Caitlin insists that Rick really does care about the environment. Rick even signs Caitlin’s petition protesting the foul-smelling pollution that is being spewed out of a nearby factory.
Rick actually has some ideas for what the EAC can do to combat pollution. He says that the EAC has to actually be about action and not just endless meetings. Kathleen rolls her eyes but Caitlin thinks that Rick has a point. In a scene that practically screams, “This was filmed in the 80s,” Caitlin and Rick get on the school’s public address system and perform a rap called “Stop the Stink” and yes, it’s just as cringey as it sounds. It does, however, inspire all of the students to sign Caitlin’s petition.
Unfortunately, it turns out that the corporate overlords don’t really care that much about a petition from a bunch of 13 year-olds. Upset because Caitlin won’t admit that the petition was useless, Rick goes outside and lights up a cigarette. Kathleen spots him smoking and uses it as an excuse to kick him out of the EAC. This leads to Caitlin telling off Kathleen and Rick tells Caitlin that he only joined the committee because he liked her.
(If all this sounds familiar, it’s because pretty much the same thing happened nearly two decades later, when Sean Cameron joined Emma Nelson’s environmental club and volunteered to help clean the ravine. In that case, it was Sean’s delinquent friends who dragged Sean away from environmentalism while Emma was so busy getting mad at Manny for changing her look that she barely noticed. We’ll get to that episode sometime in the far future….)
While all this is going on, Yick Yu is upset because, as a class assignment, he’s supposed to bring in a family heirloom. As a refugee, Yick has no heirlooms. Arthur tells him to just tell the class about how he came to Canada but, instead, Yick buys a vase from an antique mall. Unfortunately, Arthur breaks the vase when he accidentally knocks it off a desk so Yick is forced to tell his life story anyway and the entire homeroom is impressed. Yick learns to be proud of his background. It’s a good B-plot, though you do have to wonder how many more times Arthur is going to do something stupid before Yick gets tired of him constantly messing things up. I mean, in this case, I almost feel like Arthur was specifically trying to destroy the vase when he “accidentally” let it fall off of the desk. No one can make that many mistakes without a few of them being deliberate.
This episode was a classic Degrassi mix of relatable characters and cringey moments. I could totally relate to Caitlin’s crush on the school bad boy but my God, was that environmental rap ever cringey. The scenes of Kathleen running the the environmental club like a dictator made me smile because I think we all knew someone like that in school. That said, for anyone who knows their Degrassi history, any episode that features Caitlin but not Joey is going to feel strange. I’m watching Degrassi Junior High for the first time so I don’t know how exactly this whole Caitlin/Rick thing is going to play out, but I do know who Caitlin is eventually going to end up with and let’s just say that it’s not the environmentally-concerned tough guy. That’s the way it goes with bad boys. They never stick around.
Retro Television Review: Fallen Angel (dir by Robert Michael Lewis)
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay. Today’s film is 1981’s Fallen Angel! It can be viewed on Tubi.
Jennifer Phillips (Dana Hill) is 12 years old and struggling to find her place in the world. Sometimes, she wants to be a gymnast. Sometimes, she wants to be an actress. She misses her late father. She has a difficult time communicating with her mother, an often-exhausted waitress named Sherry (Melinda Dillon). She is definitely not happy that Sherry is dating the well-meaning but rather dorky Frank Dawson (Ronny Cox). Jennifer wants to watch an awards show. Frank changes the channel to a baseball game. That pretty much sums up their relationship.
One night, Jennifer escapes the unhappiness of her home life by going to an arcade. That’s where she is approached by Howard Nichols (Richard Masur), a seemingly friendly older man who takes her picture and then tells her that she’s just as beautiful as Farrah Fawcett and Olivia Newton-John. Jennifer replies that she doesn’t think that she should talk to Howard because he’s a stranger. Howard tells her that’s very smart of her and then explains that he coaches the local girls softball team and that he thinks Jennifer would make a great shortstop.
You can probably guess where this is going and you’re absolutely right. Soon, Jennifer is spending all of her time with Howard, who tells her that he understands what she’s going through even if her parents don’t. Howard’s an amateur photographer and he’s constantly asking Jennifer to pose for him. He tells Jennifer that she probably shouldn’t tell any adults about their “special friendship” because they just wouldn’t understand. He even buys Jennifer a puppy, one that he threatens to take back to the pound whenever it appears that Jennifer is trying to step away from him.
Howard is not only a pedophile but he also works for a pornography ring and, as Jennifer soon finds out, he’s actually got several young people living with him and posing for pictures. Jennifer’s mother eventually becomes concerned about what Jennifer is doing when she leaves the house and she even comes to suspect that friendly old Howard is not quite as friendly as he pretends to be. But is it too late?
Yikes! I watched this film on Tubi and I cringed through the whole thing. Of course, that’s the reaction that Fallen Angel was going for. This is a film that was made to encourage parents to maybe be a little concerned about with whom their children are spending their free time. Jennifer is fortunate that her mom eventually figures out what is going on but, as the film makes clear, a lot of victims are not so lucky. This film is pure paranoia fuel but in the best way possible. There are some things that every parent should be paranoid about and the adult who only spends time with people 20 years younger than him is definitely one of those things. The film is well-made, well-written, and well-acted. Richard Masur, with his friendly manner and his manipulate tone, will give you nightmares.
Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out 1.7 “A Rosenbloom By Any Other Name”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
Advance warning: This episode is pretty dumb.
Episode 1.7 “A Rosenbloom By Any Other Name”
(Dir by Ari Dikijian, originally aired on November 13th, 1985)
Oh God, this episode.
Seriously, I’m just going to start things out by admitting upfront that this episode was a bit too frantic for me. Obviously, a lot of great comedy has come out of misunderstandings but in the case of this episode, most of the misunderstandings were just too stupid to be amusing.
So, basically, cashier Jennifer Woods (Tonya Williams) has been promised a raise by Howard and she is really looking forward to using that money to pay off her new car. But, when she receives her paycheck, she discovers that the raise did not go through. Marlene, ever the trouble maker, tells her that Howard must have lied about trying to get her the raise.
But Howard didn’t lie! He submitted the paperwork to a Mr. Federson at the corporate headqyarters and Federson has yet to approve it. Howard marches into his office and discovers Edna on the phone. Howard tells Edna to hang up and call Federson. Edna says that (for some reason) she’s already on the phone with Federson.
“Ask him where the Hell Jennifer’s raise is!” Howard says.
“Where the Hell is Jennifer’s raise?” Edna repeats.
Federson takes offense to the way the question was asked and hangs up. Howard tells Edna that it’s her fault for using that tone with Federson but Edna replies that she was using Howard’s tone and, for what seems like an hour or two, they debate who is responsible for which tone. Howard tells Edna to call up Federson and apologize for her tone. Edna calls Federson and apologizes for Howard’s tone and Federson tells her to tell Howard to man up and apologize himself. Oh, and Jennifer’s raise is now cancelled because Canada apparently has very lax labor laws.
While this is going on, Howard is also having to deal with an old woman named Mrs. Rosenbloom (Helen Hughes), who is standing outside the store in the Toronto cold. Howard brings Mrs. Rosenbloom inside. Mrs. Rosenbloom says that she’s waiting for her son, Sheldon but she’s not sure where he is or what his phone number is. “I don’t want to be a bother,” Mrs. Rosenbloom continually says as she bothers Howard for everything from a chair to a cup of soup.
Meanwhile, Jack Christian and Murray build a gigantic display of taco chips. Unfortunately, the display gets to be too high and it falls over on top of Mrs. Rosenbloom. Luckily, she appears to be okay. “Those chips have sharp edges!” Howard exclaims.
Marlene encourages Jennifer to sue the company for discrimination, as Jennifer is the only black person working at the store and also the only one to not get a raise. Howard panics when he learns that Jennifer has hired Marlene’s boyfriend, lawyer Cy Richards, to sue the store for 10 million dollars. When Cy (Ted Simonett) does eventually show up at the store to meet with Jennifer, it turns out that he’s actually Mrs. Rosenbloom’s son, Sheldon. He changed his name when he opened his law office. Cy is happy to have found his mother but he’s even happier to sue the store.
But then, largely because there’s only two minutes left in the show’s running time, Jennifer decides not to sue the store because Federson comes by the store to meet with her and he decides to give her the raise. Federson is played by Clark Johnson, who would go on to appear on shows like Homicide and The Wire. Howard takes one look at Federson and exclaims, “You’re black!”
“It runs in the family,” Federson replies.
(Yes, it’s just as cringey as it sounds.)
Jennifer may have dropped the lawsuit but Howard is still going to court because now Mrs. Rosenbloom is suing because of the chip display that fell on her.
There was a bit too much going on in this episode and so much of it could have been avoided by Howard and Edna not being idiots. I mean, how does a secretary keep her job if she doesn’t know enough to clean up her boss’s language before quoting it back to someone at the corporate office? How does Howard not know better than to have someone else apologize for him? How can he promise someone a raise that he apparently doesn’t have the power to deliver? In short, how does Howard still have a job? On The Office, they went to pains to establish that Michael was good at selling things as a way to explain why he was still in charge of the branch. On Check It Out, Howard is so thoroughly incompetent that it’s difficult to believe that the store hasn’t burned down yet. And, of course, there’s the fact that Howard, having worked for the company for 20 years, is stunned to discover that a black man has a position of corporate authority. I mean, that really doesn’t say anything good about Howard or the company.
Shows like Check It Out make me happy that I’ve never had a real job.
Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 11/12/23 — 11/18/23
The Amazing Race (Wednesday Night, CBS)
I’m still trying to get caught up. Big Brother and October really set me behind. That said, I love The Amazing Race, even if I’m still figuring out who everyone is.
Baywatch Nights (YouTube)
I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!
Check It Out! (Tubi)
I watched a rather dumb episode of this Canadian sitcom earlier today. My review will be dropping shortly. Years from now, I’ll probably still be wondering what inspired me to review a silly Canadian sitcom that no one has ever heard of.
CHiPs (Freevee)
Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)
Fantasy Island (YouTube)
I wrote about Fantasy Island here!
Frasier (Paramount+)
I watched the first episode of the Frasier revival on Thursday night. Kelsey Grammer was funny. Frasier Crane is the perfect role for him. Unfortunately, the rest of the cast was far less interesting and the first episode felt rather …. generic. The most interesting thing about the show is Frasier apparently spent the last few years hosting a television show called “Dr. Crane.” Now, personally, I’d rather see a show about him doing that than a show about him moving to Massachusetts and teaching at Harvard. Indeed, with everything that’s happening on various elite college campuses right now, the last thing I want to do is watch a show about how great Harvard is.
Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)
I wrote about Friday the 13th here!
Football Game: New York Jets Vs Las Vegas Raiders (Sunday Night, NBC)
I kind of watched this on Sunday, though I was also reading Britney Spears’s autobiography at the same time. I have no idea who won but Jeff tells me that it was a great game.
Highway to Heaven (Tubi)
“Who does the Grail serve?” I wrote about this week’s episode here!
Jennifer Slept Here (YouTube)
I wrote about Jennifer Slept Here …. here!
Kitchen Nightmares (Tuesday Night, Fox)
I binged Kitchen Nightmares this week. Those were some disgusting kitchens! Speaking of disgusting, the most recent episode featured one of the most obnoxious man babies that I have ever seen. What a loser! I’m amazed Gordon didn’t just toss him out in the alley and tell him to go home.
The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)
I wrote about The Love Boat here!
Monsters (Tubi)
Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)
On Friday night, Jeff and I watched an episode that was all about songs that were about food. It was a tasty 30 minutes.
Survivor (Wednesday Night, CBS)
I have a feeling that we’re going to get a bitter jury this season. Everyone has been shooting death glares at each other, this entire season. Last night, I thought the latest person voted out was going to throw a punch before she left the island.
T and T (Tubi)
Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)
I wrote about Welcome Back, Kotter here!
Yes, Prime Minister (Monday Morning, PBS)
Hacker’s predecessor died and, to Hacker’s barely suppressed delight, that meant that he would never actually finish his autobiographer, which was full of unflattering details about Hacker. Unfortunately, Hacker also had to deal with the details of the state funeral and that meant dealing with the French. I was pretty tired when I watched this episode so I don’t remember all of the details but I do remember being amused by the arrogance of the French ambassador.
Through the Shattered Lens 