Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 3.10 “Class of 69/The Pug”

Posted on August 15, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986. Almost entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube!

This week, boxing comes to Fantasy Island!

Episode 3.10 “Class of 69/The Pug”

(Dir by Earl Bellamy, originally aired on November 24th, 1979)

Once again, this episode opens with no banter between Mr. Roarke and Tattoo. Instead, Tattoo announces the arrival of the plane and rings the bell and then he and Mr. Roarke head down to the docks to meet their guests. This is the third episode in a row without any pre-guest banter and I have to admit that I’m really missing it.

As for this week’s guests, they’re an improvement on last week’s rather forgettable offering.

Joey Lee (Gary Collins) is a former heavyweight boxer who comes to the Island with his son, Mitch (K.C. Martel). Joey thinks that he’s just been hired to serve as a sparring partner for the world champion, Jackson Malone (Fred Williamson). Jackson has a title defense coming up, right on the Island. What Joey doesn’t know is that Mitch’s fantasy is for his father to have a shot at the championship. When Malone’s opponent has to drop out of the fight, Joey is named as a substitute. Mitch is excited, until he finds out that Joey is being pressured to take a dive in the third round. Will Joey throw the fight? And, even if Joey doesn’t, how will Mitch react to seeing his father getting pounded in the face by the world champion? Will Mitch learn that his love for his father is more important than his father’s championship?

This fantasy was a typical Rocky rip-off, right down to Fred Williamson doing a credible Apollo Creed impersonation. The problem, of course, is that the middle-aged and mild-mannered Gary Collins was in no way credible as a heavyweight boxer. The fact that the world champion was played by an actual athlete didn’t help matters. (It’s true that Carl Weathers, like Williamson, was also a football player before he played Apollo but Sylvester Stallone himself had been an amateur boxer before he played Rocky so it was easier to buy the idea of their match going the distance.) In the end, I liked the fact that Mitch realized that his father’s health was more important than being champion. The fantasy had a nice ending, even if it’s difficult to buy the set-up.

The other fantasy featured Adrienne Barbeau as Brenda Richards. When she first arrives on Fantasy Island, Tattoo comments on how obese Brenda is, even though she’s only a few pounds overweight. (Adrienne Barbeau wears a very unconvincing fat suit.) Mr. Roarke explains that Brenda was humiliated at her high school prom when her date, arrogant jock Lance (Tim Thomerson), tricked her into undressing in the gym before then bringing in the entire senior class in to laugh at her. (Yikes!) The high school reunion is being held on Fantasy Island and Brenda’s fantasy is to get revenge. Roarke gives her a potion which allows her to be thin for 48 hours. (In reality, Barbeau just ditches the fat suit.)

At the reunion, Brenda tricks Lance into taking off his wig. The entire senior class discovers that Lance is totally bald and they laugh and laugh. Everyone is impressed with Brenda’s revenge except for Brenda’s old high school friend, Bernie Drexel (Fred Grandy, taking a break from The Love Boat). Brenda sees that she was just as cruel to Lance as he was to her back in high school so she makes a public apology and encourages everyone to be kind to one another. Barbeau then puts the fat suit back on. Bernie says that Brenda will always be the most beautiful woman that he knows. Awwwww!

I actually liked this fantasy, largely because of the chemistry between Barbeau and Grandy. Plus, Tim Thomerson made a great arrogant jock. I know that some people will say that this episode featured too many jokes about Brenda’s weight (especially considering the fact that, even before drinking the potion, Brenda was hardly obese) but I appreciated the fact that it had an anti-bullying message. And if her romance with Bernie inspires Brenda to eat healthy and start getting regular exercise, all the better!

At the end of the episode, Mr. Roarke tells Tattoo that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. “To me,” Mr. Roarke says, “you are six feet two inches tall.”

Uhmmm….yeah, I don’t know how I feel about that ending. It seems like the show, whether intentionally or not, is saying that Tattoo will be forever unloved because of his height. Even without the pre-guest banter, Roarke is finding ways to passive-aggressively taunt his assistant. That’s life on Fantasy Island.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Nicolas Roeg Edition

Posted on August 15, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today would have been the 95th birthday of the great and enigmatic director, Nicolas Roeg. As both a cinematographer and a director, Roeg was responsible for some of the most visually striking films ever made. Today, we honor his legacy with….

4 Shots From 4 Nicolas Roeg Films

Walkabout (1971, dir by Nicolas Roeg, DP: Nicolas Roeg)

Don’t Look Now (1973, dir by Nicolas Roeg, DP: Anthony Richmond)

The Man Who Fell To Earth (1976, dir by Nicholas Roeg, DP: Anthony Richmond)

Insignificance (1985, dir by Nicolas Roeg, DP: Peter Hannan)

Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 6.5 “Have No Fear” and 6.6 “At The Movies”

Posted on August 14, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Hang Time, which ran on NBC from 1995 to 2000. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Will you always remember you and your friends at Hang Time?

Episode 6.5 “Have No Fear”

(Directed by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on October 21st, 2000)

Temple U. comes to Deering to offer Silk a full scholarship to attend their college and play basketball for their team. At first, Silk is excited but then he makes the mistake of playing a little basketball with the college players. It turns out that they’re a hundred times better than Silk! Silk then discovers that Temple expects its players to practice everyday, to attend every away game, and to maintain a B average. Silk decides that it’s too much to deal with and announces that he would rather go to Atlantic University.

“Atlantic sucks!” Eugene exclaims.

Anyway, Coach K eventually tells Silk that he need to take the chance and go to Temple. Personally, I think Silk had every right to be concerned because, over the past few seasons, it’s not like Silk has ever been that good of a player. For instance, he’s never the one who shoots the game-winning basket. He’s never the one who risks getting hooked on pills because the team will lose if he’s not on the court. He’s never been the one who has gotten an oversized ego after being featured in a magazine. By the standards of Hang Time, he’s a below-average player. Why does Temple want him as opposed to Michael or Julie?

All that said, Silk still decides to take a shot and go to Temple. Good for him.

Meanwhile, in the far more amusing B-plot, Julie and Kristy buy a car together but then spend all of their time arguing over who is a better driver and who gets to use the car on which night. This is another one of those plots where Mary Beth acts as an agent of chaos. She’s the one who suggests that Kristy and Julie should get the car together and, for some reason, she tags along when Kristy and Antonio and Michael and Julie go on a double-date together. At this point, I think the only reason why Mary Beth is still attending classes at Deering is so she can cause stir the drama. That’s actually kind of neat. It suggests that Mary Beth knows that she’s in a television show and that she understands that this particular episode needed some silliness to make up for all of the uninteresting stuff with Silk. Good for Mary Beth!

Episode 6.6 “At The Movies”

(Directed by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on October 28th, 2000)

Oh God.

This episode features Dustin Diamond playing himself.

Antonio and Kristy are both working at the movie theater as a part of their “work study program.” (Why can’t they just get a job? Why does it have to be a part of a program?) Anyway, Kristy is appointed assistant manager and decides that a sure way to make money would be to do a midnight showing of Saved By The Bell: Wedding in Vegas. And because the other members of the Saved By The Bell cast had all moved on to real careers by the time this episode was filmed, the show had to make due with Dustin Diamond showing up as the special celebrity guest. Yes, Dustin plays himself but still speaks in his annoying Screech voice.

I don’t want to talk too much about it. I pretty much zoned out as soon as Dustin arrived. I feel a little bit bad about that because Dustin Diamond did not have a particularly happy life and died far too young but, still, he was so annoying whenever he did the whole Screech thing. Add to that, you may remember that, a few seasons ago, Dustin Diamond made a cameo appearance as Screech. And before that, Mary Beth went to Space Camp with Ryan Parker, a student at Bayside. So, what’s the deal, Hang Time? How is Screech both real and fictional at the same time?

Meanwhile, Mary Beth freaked out after she had a romantic dream about Eugene. This led to Mary Beth going out on a date with Eugene to see if she actually had feelings for him. (Uhmm, Mary Beth …. remember that you have a boyfriend going to Duke?) It turned out that Mary Beth didn’t and that’s a good thing. We already suffered through Mary Beth dating Vince.

Anyway, the important thing is that everything worked out in the end. With the help of Dustin Diamond, Antonio learned a lesson about being a good employee and Mary Beth realized that she wasn’t in love with Eugene. Yay!

Next week: Hammer returns!

Monday Live Tweet Alert: Join Us For April Rain and Death Wish V!

Posted on August 14, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in hosting a few weekly live tweets on twitter and occasionally Mastodon. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of Mastodon’s #MondayActionMovie ! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We snark our way through it.

Tonight, for #MondayActionMovie, the film will be 2014’s April Rain! I picked it so you know it’ll be good.

Following #MondayActionMovie, Brad and Sierra will be hosting the #MondayMuggers live tweet. We will be watching 1994’s Death Wish V! The film is on Prime!

It should make for a night of fun viewing and I invite all of you to join in. If you want to join the live tweets, just hop onto Mastodon, pull up April Rain on YouTube, start the movie at 8 pm et, and use the #MondayActionMovie hashtag! Then, at 10 pm et, switch over to Twitter and Prime, start Death Wish V, and use the #MondayMuggers hashtag! The live tweet community is a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Scene That I Love: Steve Martin Reveals What He Needs In The Jerk

Posted on August 14, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today, the Shattered Lens wishes actor and comedian Steve Martin a happy 77th birthday. Originally from Texas, Martin has been a cultural mainstay for longer than I’ve been alive. He’s an adept banjo player and an occasional actor, equally skilled at both comedy and drama.

Today’s scene that I love comes from 1979’s The Jerk, in which Steve Martin reveals all that he needs.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Wim Wenders Edition

Posted on August 14, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy 78th birthday to the great German director, Wim Wenders! It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Wim Wenders Films

The American Friend (1976, dir by Wim Wenders, DP: Robby Muller)

Paris, Texas (1984, dir by Wim Wenders, DP: Robby Muller)

Wings of Desire (1987, dir by Wim Wenders, DP: Robby Muller)

Until the End of the World (1991, dir by Wim Wenders, DP: Robby Muller)

Lisa Marie’s Week In Review: 8/7/23 — 8/13/23

Posted on August 13, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As I’ve already said this week, rest in peace to the great William Friedkin. Much like Paul Schrader, he was a veteran of the Golden Age and he was willing to say whatever was on his mind, regardless of whether it was the conventional wisdom or not. We could definitely use more filmmakers like Friedkin.

It’s still hot. When I try to think about what I did over this past week, I mostly remember getting mad about the heat. Right now, my main focus is on getting things ready for October.

I watched two of the best crime films of the 70s, Dirty Harry and Death Wish, Eastwood and Bronson at their best!

Here’s what I watched, read, and listened to this week!

Films I Watched:

Aerobicide (1987)
Blood Harvest (1987)
Brian’s Song (1971)
Cinderella Liberty (1973)
Corbin Nash (2018)
The Cosmic Man (1959)
Death Metal (2023)
Death Wish (1974)
Dirty Harry (1971)
Frogs (1972)
Houston, We’ve Got A Problem (1974)
John Wick: Chapter Four (2023)
The Lost Arcade (2015)
My Friends Need Killing (1976)
Shocking Dark (1989)
Superfights (1995)

Television Shows I Watched:

Big Brother 25
The Challenge USA
Claim to Frame
Dr. Phil
Double Dragon
PGA Tour on CBS
60 Minutes
Stars on Mars
T. and T.
Welcome Back, Kotter
Yes, Minister

Books I Read:

Shakespeare’s Book: The Story Behind The First Folio and the Making of Shakespeare (2023) by Chris Laoutaris

Music To Which I Listened:

Avril Lavigne
Big Data
Britney Spears
Calvin Harris
The Chemical Brothers
Christina Aguilera
Jessica Simpson
Katy Perry
Lindsay Lohan
Olivia Rodrigo
Saint Motel

Live Tweets:

News From Last Week:

Links From Last Week:

Links From The Site:

I reviewed John Wick: Chapter 4 and Houston, We’ve Got A Problem!
I reviewed Hang Time, Fantasy Island, The Love Boat, City Guys, T. and T., and Welcome Back, Kotter!
I shared my week in television!
I shared scenes from Psycho and The Ten Commandments,
I paid tribute to Alfred Hitchcock, Sam Fuller, Stuart Gordon, William Friedkin, and Nicholas Ray!
Erin shared Amazing Stories, The Stirrup Boss, Convention Queen, Fantastic Adventures, Pep Stories, Love Story, and Sensuous Loves!
Jeff shared music videos from Van Halen, X, Def Leppard, Robbie Robertson, Poison, Wang Chung, and BRuc

More From Us:

For Horror Critic, I wrote about Night of the Bloody Apes!
At Reality TV Chat Blog, I shared Week 1 Veto Meeting, Too Many Alliances, It’s Time To Open The Diary Room …. Or Is It?, About Tonight, Week 2 Nominations, No Updates Yet, and And We’re Back With A Veto Winner!
At my music site, I shared songs from The Chemical Brothers, Lindsay Lohan, Katy Perry, Avril Lavigne, Christina Aguilera, Big Data, and Saint Motel!
At her photography site, Erin shared Caddo Lake, Caddo Lake 2, Caddo Lake 3, Caddo Lake 4, Caddo Lake 5, Caddo Lake 6, and Hiding!

Want to see what I did last week? Click here!

Retro Television Reviews: Houston, We’ve Got A Problem (dir by Lawrence Doheny)

Posted on August 13, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay. Today’s film is 1974’s Houston, We’ve Got A Problem! It can be viewed on YouTube!

The year is 1970 and Apollo 13 is the latest manned NASA mission into space. The head of the mission of Jim Lovell and the destination is the Moon. Unfortunately, the American public has gotten so used to the idea of men going to the Moon that hardly anyone is paying attention to Apollo 13. That changes when Lovell contacts mission control in Houston and utters those famous words, “Houston …. we’ve had a problem.” An oxygen tank has exploded, crippling the spacecraft and leaving the three men in danger. If Houston can’t figure out how to bring them home, Apollo 13 could turn into an orbiting tomb.

Yes, this film tells the story of the same crisis that Ron Howard recreated in Apollo 13. The difference between Houston, We’ve Got A Problem and Apollo 13 (beyond the fact that one was a big budget Hollywood production and the other a low-budget made-for-TV movie), is that Apollo 13 largely focused on the men trapped in space while Houston, We’ve Got A Problem is totally Earthbound. In fact, Jim Lovell does not even appear in the ’74 film, though his voice is heard. (The film features the actual communications between the crew and Mission Control.) Instead, the entire film follows the men on the ground as, under the leadership of Gene Kranz (Ed Nelson), they try to figure out how to bring the crew of Apollo 13 home. Houston, We’ve Got A Problem is a far more low-key film than Apollo 13, one that features narration from Eli Wallach to give it an effective documentary feel but one that also lacks the moments of wit and emotion that distinguished Apollo 13.

NASA cooperated with the making of the film and it works best when it focuses on the men brainstorming on how to solve the biggest crisis that the American space program had ever faced to that date. The film is less effective when it tries to portray the effects of the men’s work on their home lives. Sandra Dee is wasted as the wife who can’t understand why her engineer husband (reliably bland Gary Collins) can’t spend more time at home. Clu Gulager plays the guy who fears he’s missing out on time with his son. Robert Culp plays the man with a heart condition who places his hand over his chest whenever anything stressful happens. Steve Franken has to choose between his religious obligations and his obligation to NASA. The melodrama of those fictional moments are awkwardly mixed with the based-in-fact moments of everyone calmly and rationally discussing the best way to save the crew. Jim Lovell, as a matter of fact, complained that Houston, We’ve Got A Problem did a disservice to the flight controllers by presenting them all as being hopelessly inept in their lives outside of mission control. (Lovell was reportedly much happier with Apollo 13.)

Because it features the actual conversations between the crew and Mission Control, Houston, We’ve Got A Problem is interesting as a historical document but it never escapes the shadow of Ron Howard’s better-known film.