Music Video of the Day: Bed of Nails by Alice Cooper (1989, directed by Nigel Dick)

Posted on October 10, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

Bed of Nails is from Alice Cooper’s 11th studio album, Trash. It was the album’s second most successful single, despite not even being released as a single in the U.S. Maybe some of that success was due to this music video, in which Alice the singer performs over and in a bed of nails while women in leather walk through the studio and play the cello.

This video was directed by Nigel Dick, who directed videos for anyone who was anyone. If Nigel Dick has not done a video for you, you are not really a rock star.

Enjoy!

Great Moments In Television History #24: Siskel and Ebert Recommend Horror Films

Posted on October 9, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

Film critics Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel were not usually thought of as being fans of the horror genre, with Gene going so far as to tell his viewers to write to Betsy Palmer to tell her how upset they were over her appearing in Friday the 13th.

Despite this, in 1988, Siskel and Ebert devoted an entire episode of their show to recommending horror films that they felt were overlooked when first released. And I have to say, they actually mentioned some good ones.

From 1988, Siskel and Ebert discuss “hidden horrors:”

Previous Moments In Television History:

Great Moments In Comic Book History #28: Iron Man Meets Thanos and Drax The Destroyer

Posted on October 9, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

50 years ago, in Iron Man #55, both Drax the Destroyer and Thanos made their first appearances.

Iron Man #55 opens with Drax the Destroyer being held prisoner on Thanos’s mobile prison planet. This Drax is far different from the Drax who became famous as a result of being a part of the MCU. This Drax is a former Earthling who was killed by Thanos but then resurrected and given one mission, to kill Thanos. There’s nothing funny, not even unintentionally, about his Drax. Knowing that Drax will not stop until he has destroyed him, Thanos has chained Drax up and spends his spare time taunting him. Just because Thanos is evil, that doesn’t make him smart.

Drax sends out a mental message to Iron Man, despite the fact that he and Iron Man have never met. Tony Stark agrees to help Drax because Drax’s messages are so powerful that Tony can’t even attend a business meeting. After suiting up as Iron Man, Stark flies out to Thanos’s prison planet. Along the way, Drax tells him the abbreviated details of Thanos’s origin and Thanos’s love of death.

Iron Man’s fist meeting with Thanos is not particularly auspicious.

Thanos thinks so little of Iron Man that he assigns the moronic aliens known as the Blood Brothers to battle Iron Man. Iron Man is able to free Drax, the Blood Brothers are easily defeated, and Thanos makes a hasty retreat. Drax thanks Iron Man, shakes his hand, and then heads after Thanos. And I suppose Iron Man gets back to Earth somehow.

Thanos and Drax were created by Jim Starlin, who wasn’t even Iron Man’s regular writer. When the planned story for Iron Man #55 ended up running behind schedule, Starlin was assigned to create a filler story. Thanos and Drax were both characters that Starlin had invented for a planned-but-never-written sci-fi epic in college. Starlin reused them and their origins in Iron Man #55.

Though thrown together at the last minute, Iron Man #55 predicted the future of Marvel in a way that, even at the time, few realized. When Starlin took over Captain Marvel, he reused both Drax and Thanos and crafted an epic space opera that was later reused during phase one of the MCU. For all the credit that was given to Kevin Feige, the Russo brothers, Stan Lee, and countless others, the MCU owes much of its success to Jim Starlin.

And it all began with Iron Man #55 running behind schedule.

IRON MAN #55 (October, 1972)
Writer: Jim Starlin/Mike Friedrich
Penciler: Jim Starlin
Inker: Mike Esposito
Letterer: John Costanza
Editor: Roy Thomas

Previous Great Moments In Comic Book History:

Ed and His Dead Mother (1993, directed by Jonathan Wacks)

Posted on October 9, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

After the death of his mother (Miriam Margoyles), shy Ed (Steve Buscemi) inherits the family hardware store. Even though Ed now has his own business and maybe even a chance at having a relationship with Storm Reynolds (Sam Jenkins), Ed simply cannot leave the memory of his mother behind. One day, he is approached by a salesman named A.J. Peddle (John Glover). Peddle explains that he can bring Ed’s mother back to life for a thousand dollars. Ed agrees and soon, Ed’s mother is once again living with Ed and Ed’s Uncle Benny (Ned Beatty). Benny is upset because he doesn’t think that it’s proper to tamper in matters of morality and he never liked his sister to begin but, at first, Ed is happy to have her back. However, Ed soon discovers that his mother has changed now that she’s come back to life. She now has a craving for blood and soon, she’s chasing the neighborhood dogs while holding a knife. Ed’s mom has returned as a zombie! Can Ed finally move on and commit to sending his mother back to the grave?

This quirky comedy came out in 1993, a few years too early to take advantage of either the zombie boom or the horror comedy boom. The movie never really find the right balance between scares and laughs. The script is full of funny lines and Steve Buscemi and Ned Beatty are a good comedic team but the direction is as flat and as lifeless as Ed’s mom before she was resurrected. Today, the movie is mostly interesting as a precursor for later trends in horror. It’s also a chance to see Steve Buscemi is rare starring role. Buscemi is ideally cast as the gentle Ed, who eventually learns the importance of letting go, accepting death, and moving on. Buscemi is good, even in a misfire like this one.

Just two years after starring in this movie, Buscemi would appear on Homicide: Life on the Streets, playing a white supremacist murderer named Gordon Pratt. Among the detectives assigned to arrest Pratt was Stanley Bolander, played by Ned Beatty. As far as I know, that’s the only other pairing of Buscemi and Beatty and there wasn’t much to laugh about in that episode of Homicide. It’s too bad because, judging from their interactions in this movie, Ned Beatty and Steve Buscemi could have been one of the great comedy teams.

Thanatophobia (2022, Robert Goodwin)

Posted on October 9, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

Maddie is a 20 year-old girl who suffers from Thanatophobia, a morbid fear of death. You are the hypnotherapist who, after a chance meeting, helps her come to terms with her fears. After you have put her under hypnosis, Maddie tells you that she is standing in a hallway and there is a hooded figure behind her. No matter where she goes, the hooded figure is always there. She needs you to figure out who the hooded figure represents and also how Maddie can get away from it.

Maddie is a chatbot. You type in questions and she answers. It’s like that old Eliza game except that some of the questions will lead to Maddue discussing her past and revealing her secrets. It’s a challenging game but it does come with just enough hints that most players should eventually be able to figure out how to help Maddie. The biggest hint that I can gives is that, just like with a real person, Maddie sometimes has to be asked the same question multiple times before she’ll open up.

Chatbot games are always hit-and-miss for me but Thantophobia does a pretty good job of simulating a real conversation and Maddie comes across as being a real person instead of a bot with several pre-programmed responses. The game is challenging but the mystery can be solved and Maddie can be helped. In fact, Maddie’s answers are so well-written that I actually felt really proud of myself when I finally helped her get out of the hallway.

Play Thanatophobia.

Music Video of the Day: Lost In America by Alice Cooper (1994, directed by ????)

Posted on October 9, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

Alice Cooper can’t get a girl be he doesn’t have a car and he can’t get a car because he doesn’t have a job and he can’t get a job because he doesn’t have a car. This is one of Alice Cooper’s catchiest songs. Whenever I watch any of Alice Cooper’s videos, I think about how interesting it is that Alice Cooper has gone from being the controversial face of shock rock to being an almost universally beloved American institution.

Enjoy!

Attack of the 50 Foot Camgirl (2022, directed by Jim Wynorski)

Posted on October 8, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

Beverly Wood (Ivy Smith) is a professional social media influencer whose ego is almost as big as her following. She’s referred to as being “#BigBitch” for a reason. Her manager, Bradley (Eli Cirino), is always looking for new ways to promote Beverly and now products for her to endorse. However, Bradley is also a no-good cheater who is seeing Beverly’s assistant, Fuschia (Christine Nguyen), on the side. When eating a new, scientifically-modified brand of hot dog causes Beverly to grew to 50 feet tall, she sets out for revenge, just like in Attack of the 50 Foot Woman. This time, though, the romantic rival also grows to 50 feet tall and the movie ends with a Godzilla vs. King Kong-style battle over a bunch of miniature buildings.

This is the latest remake of Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, without any of that film’s subversive subtext and, unfortunately, without any actresses as memorable as Allison Hayes and Yvette Vickers. It’s a Jim Wynorski joint so you know what you’re going to get, which is lots of nudity, stiff acting, cheap special effects, and a nonstop stream of dad jokes that are more likely to make you groan than laugh. (If you think hashtag is the funniest words this side of Poughkeepsie, you might chuckle once or twice.) Ivy Smith even makes out with the film’s token sexy scientist (played by Lisa London) for no reason other than the fact that Wynorski knows his audience. There’s nothing challenging or surprising about Attack of the 50 Foot Camgirl. It’s a very unambitious film. At the same time, Wynorski’s style is so self-aware and good-natured that the movie is still more likable than most of the other direct-to-video schlock that ends up streaming for free online. It may be a dumb movie but it is smart enough not to take itself seriously. The film both begins and ends with two giant women have a kaiju-style battle and destroying several miniature buildings. That tells you all you need to know about both the film and whether or not you’ll enjoy it.

Game Review: Under the Bridge (2022, Samantha Kahn)

Posted on October 8, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

You are a monster.

The humans have wiped out most of your species. Your life in the forest has been upended by their intrusiveness and their violence. But there is a bridge, one that leads into a nearby village. The bridge looks like a good place to live and to feast. Even monsters need to eat and with villagers constantly traveling from one side of the bridge to the other, the bridge is the perfect place for you to hunt.

This is a Twine game that tells the familiar story of the Troll Under The Bridge from the point of view of the troll. You have many reasons for not trusting human. You also need to eat. When the humans try to cross your bridge, will you allow them to pass or will you confront and maybe even eat them? The decision is yours but every decision comes with consequences,

I liked Under The Bridge. It was well-written and it featured memorable but non-intrusive visuals and audio that truly made you feel as if you were hiding underneath that bridge and waiting for the sounds of possible prey. There’s a number of different endings so this is a game that can be replayed several different times. Considering that so many Twine games seem to lead to the same ending regardless of the choices you make, I appreciated that your choices actually meant something in Under The Bridge.

Play Under the Bridge.

Music Video of the Day: Ride On by Lulabox (1992, directed by ????)

Posted on October 8, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

This song appears on the Pet Sematary 2 soundtrack, which might be the best soundtrack to have never been given an official release. In the film, this is the song that plays over the end credits. The video follows the film’s story of the dead rising back to life.

Enjoy!

Biohazard (1985, directed by Fred Olen Ray)

Posted on October 7, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

At a government research lab in the middle of the desert, Lisa (Angelique Pettyjohn) is a psychic who has the ability to go into different dimensions and bring things back with her. While demonstrating her abilities for Gen. Randolph (Aldo Ray), she accidentally brings back a container that is carrying a small, humanoid/lizard hybrid. (Inside the costume was director Fred Olen Ray’s six year-old son, Christopher.) The monster goes on a rampage, killing hoboes and other random people who live in a nearby town. Lisa and Carter (William Fair) try to track down the creature before it can cause too much damage and kill too many people. Meanwhile, the town drunk wants to sell the monster’s story to the newspapers.

Biohazard is a typical early Ray film. Hire some veterans, like Aldo Ray and Carroll Borland. (Fred Olen Ray, if nothing else, was good about finding work for Hollywood veterans who, otherwise, would have spent their final years in obscurity.) Unleash someone in a monster costume. Toss in some gratuitous nudity. Spill some fake blood. Pad it out so that the film reaches feature-length. Biohazard goes the Hal Needham route when it comes to padding out the film and gives us several minutes of blown takes and other mistakes. The takes start out amusing but, eventually, there’s only so many times you can watch actors blow lines that weren’t that good to begin with. It’s still not as bad as having to watch Burt Reynolds slap Dom DeLuise a hundred times during the closing credits of Cannonball Run. At least most of the actors actually look like they enjoyed being on the set of Biohazard.

With Fred Olen Ray, you know what you’re going to get and Biohazard delivers all of Ray’s trademark moments, including ineptly lit day-for-night scenes, overacted comedy relief, and one or two scenes that work despite themselves. As bad as the end result was, the film does have a DIY aesthetic that will appeal to anyone who has ever thought about getting a couple of friends together and just making a movie. Supposedly, it took Ray two years to complete Biohazard. Today, an aspiring filmmaker could just film it on his phone over two weekends and then upload it to YouTube and get a few thousand likes. In some ways, independent filmmakers like Fred Olen Ray were ahead of their time.