Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  This Thursday, I will be reviewing Sylvan in Paradise, which aired its only episode on NBC in 1986.  The show can be found on YouTube!

Episode 1.1 “Pilot”

(Dir by Terry Hughes, originally aired on August 2nd, 1986)

“Welcome, welcome, welcome,” says Sylvan Sprayberry (Jim Nabors) to the guest checking into the Hawaiian hotel that employs him. Sylvan is tall, goofy, and talkative, and it’s never really made clear how he somehow became the head bellboy at a hotel in Hawaii. At one point, even Sylvan says he can’t believe he’s gone from “pickin’ cotton in Alabama” to working in paradise.

The uptight owner of the hotel, Clinton Waddle (Brent Spiner), fears that Sylvan will embarrass him when the Vice Consul of New Zealand (Michael Ensign) checks in. Sylvan is more concerned with making sure his niece, Lucy Apple (Courteney Cox), has a wonderful wedding when she marries another bellboy, Sparky McCann (Glenn Withrow).

When a guest who claims to be named Roy Rogers (Pat McCormick) gives Sylvan a statue to deliver to “a man in a green jacket,” Sylvan hands the statue off to Sparky so Sparky can get the tip. Unfortunately, both Roy Rogers and the man in the green jacket turn out to be drug smugglers, and the statue is full of cocaine. Sparky’s going to jail! “Golly!” Sylvan says.

Sylvan sure does feel bad about ruining Lucy’s wedding and getting Sparky sent to jail. Plus, the Vice Consul is now insisting on checking out of the hotel. When Sylvan insists on helping the Vice Consul with his luggage, one of the suitcases opens and reveals that the Vice Consul of New Zealand is himself a drug smuggler. Ha! Take that, New Zealand!

Somehow this leads to Sparky getting out of jail. No one has any hard feelings against Sylvan because he’s such a nice guy. Personally, I would have hard feelings, because just about everything that happens in this episode could have been avoided if Sylvan weren’t so stupid. Jim Nabors gives the same performance here that he gave as Gomer Pyle in the 1960s. The only problem is that Gomer was supposed to be young, whereas Sylvan is in his late 50s and looks older. He really has no excuse for not knowing any better. Would you hire someone who screws everything up to be your head bellhop?

The pilot did not become a series. Today, the only thing really interesting about it is that it featured a pre-Star Trek Brent Spiner and a pre-Friends Courteney Cox. Cox is stuck playing a one-dimensional role, but at least Spiner gets to express some annoyance with Sylvan. He was probably speaking for the entire audience.