Today is the 4th of July, American Independence Day, and I can’t think of a better way to kick off the festivities than watching the great Ray Charles sing “America the Beautiful” at Game 2 of the 2001 World Series:
Happy 242nd birthday, America! Have a safe 4th of July celebration from Cracked Rear Viewer!
Hi everyone! Lisa here!
Usually, whenever a holiday rolls around, the TSL’s mascot — Doc the Ennui Kitty — will post something wishing all of you a safe and happy holiday. Some people have pointed out that not only are we one of the few sites to feature a cat as a contributor but also that most cats aren’t capable of writing complete sentences. I’m not sure what they’re trying to imply. Doc’s a very smart cat.
Anyway, for this holiday, I’m handling the honors because I actually do have something serious to talk about. I love fireworks. My entire family loves fireworks. Up until I turned ten, I always used to enjoy summer trips through the Southwest, during which my father would pick up the latest in illegal fireworks. It was fun and it taught me a very important lesson (as my father put it, “Nobody tells a Bowman what to do! Nobody!”) On July 3rd, the Mayor of Los Angeles attempted to illustrate the importance of firework safety by posting a video of a watermelon getting blown to bits by a firework that he claimed was the size of a stick of gum. I watched that video at work and I literally yelled out, “That is so fucking awesome!!!!”
That said, if you’re planning on shooting off fireworks or firecrackers tonight, be smart. Four years ago, some people who lived across the street from us decided to get drunk and shoot off fireworks in the middle of the street. This was on a residential block and they came close to setting my neighbor’s front yard on fire. Someone called the cops on them. It wasn’t me because I don’t believe in snitching. Me, I was just planning on slashing their tires after they all went to sleep.
Also, animals do not like fireworks. Keep that in mind. For a cat or a dog who has no idea that it’s Independence Day, fireworks are terrifying. If you own pets, keep them inside. If you’re driving home, keep an eye on the road for any of our furry friends who might, at that moment, be out of their mind with fear.
Also, keep your neighbors in mind. One person’s fun can be another person’s trigger. During Independence Day, we always talk about how much we love our veterans. Prove it by considering what they’ve gone through before you set off those firecrackers at 3 in the morning.
I guess what I’m saying is the best way to celebrate the 4th is by not being a jerk.
Thank you and, from me, Doc, and everyone else here at the Shattered Lens: happy holidays!
by Erin Nicole
Enjoy the 4th of July!
Get ready to celebrate the 4th of July with this collection of “American” pulp!
Unknown Artist
Unknown Artist
by Frank Kelly Freas
Unknown Artist
by James Trombata
Unknown Artist
by Barye Phillips
by J. Oval
by V.E. Pike
by Walter Baumhofer
Unknown Artist
Warner Brothers pulled out all the stops for their 1940 epic THE SEA HAWK. There’s dashing Errol Flynn swashbuckling his way across the Silver Screen once again, the proverbial cast of thousands, high seas action, romance, political intrigue, superb special effects, and a spirited score by Erich Wolfgang Korngold. The only thing missing that could’ve possibly made this movie better is Technicolor, but since Jack and his bros had already spent $1.7 million (equivalent to almost thirty million today) to produce it, why quibble?
Flynn is in fine form as privateer Geoffrey Thorpe, captain of the pirate ship Albatross, in service to Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth I. When they attack and plunder a Spanish ship carrying Ambassador Don Alvarez de Cordoba and his beautiful niece Maria, Captain Thorpe is reprimanded and told to lay off the Spanish. Spain, however, is building up their Armada with world conquest in mind, and…
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My father’s family is from South Carolina, my mother’s from Massachusetts, which makes me half Redneck, half Yankee, and 100% American! Since Lisa has already let us know today is American Redneck Day, let’s celebrate with Gretchen Wilson doing her 2004 country music hit, “Redneck Woman”:
Happy American Redneck Day, y’all! Now somebody give me a Hell Yeah!
by George Rozen
Apparently, today is American Redneck Day. That’s one of those holidays that I didn’t even know existed until I came across it on a fun little site called Checkiday.
Now, myself, I’m not a redneck. Neither is Erin. But we’ve got enough rednecks in our family that I think we’ve both earned the right to take off work and celebrate this holiday. I’m not sure how exactly one celebrates American Redneck Day, to be honest. I’ll probably listen to All Summer Long once or twice and maybe I’ll watch some YouTube videos of people shooting beer cans. That should be fun.
Anyway, this video is called Redneck Yacht Club and it really makes me want to go up to the lake this weekend.
Enjoy!
This 4th of July, while celebrating America’s birthday, don’t forget that there was a time when superheroes not only starred in movies but also made the world safe for democracy! From World War II, here is a gallery of patriotic super heroes fighting for the freedoms that we enjoy today!
Not even the most powerful of heroes could do it alone. For that reason, when they weren’t beating the enemy in their own backyard, they were encouraging their readers to support the armed forces by buying war bonds.
Over the course of World War II, 85 million Americans purchased war bonds totaling an estimated $185 billion.
Finally, what other way to end this patriotic post than with a musical tribute to the Star-Spangled Man With A Plan?
And to all the real, flesh-and-blood heroes who made the ultimate sacrifice to save the world from tyranny, thank you.
Through the Shattered Lens 