Lisa Cleans Out Her DVR: The Psycho She Met Online (dir by Curtis Crawford)

(I am currently in the process of cleaning out my DVR!  It’s probably going to take me longer to do this than it took Theodosia Burr to make her way to Alexandria, Virginia after getting shipwrecked in 1812.  I recorded The Psycho She Met Online off of Lifetime on April 9th!)

Let’s just start with the obvious.

The Psycho She Met Online?

That is, without a doubt, one of the greatest titles in the history of Lifetime movies.  Not only does it tell you exactly what this movie is about (no ambiguity here!) but it also tells you that this film will feature everything that we love about Lifetime films.  When it comes to Lifetime, regardless of the movie, there are two things that will always be true.

First, anyone you meet is going to turn out to be a psycho.

Secondly, anything that begins online is ultimately going to lead to disaster.

In this case, the film is about an EMT named Karen (Chelsea Hobbs).  Karen briefly becomes a minor celebrity when she rescues a man from a serious automobile accident.  The twist is that the man just happened to be her husband, Andrew (Matthew Lawrence)!

With Andrew laid up in the hospital, Karen decides to make some extra money by renting out some of the spare rooms in their house.  She does this be placing an ad online.  Oh, Karen!  Don’t you realize that only crazy people do stuff online!?

(And what does that say about me, posting my film reviews online!?  And you reading them online!?  OH MY GOD, WE’RE ALL CRAZY!)

Anyway, Karen soon ends up with two boarders.  One is a nice old man named Evander Swandson (Robert Welch).  He enjoys going on nature walks and taking photographs.  He respects the rules of the house and does his best to stay out of everyone’s way.  He is apparently among the one percent of internet users who are not insane and, as soon as Evander showed up, I knew he was doomed.

The other room is taken by Miranda (Charity Shea).  Miranda is the psycho of the title.  If her superficial resemblance to Jodi Arias doesn’t convince you of that, just wait until she starts killing people.  Miranda is a dancer at a “gentleman’s club,” though she doesn’t tell Karen that.  Miranda also claims to be Karen’s half-sister and she is just so excited that they will finally have the chance to get to know each other!

At first, Karen is excited too.  She’s always wanted a sister and now, she’ll no longer have to settle for a surrogate sibling relationship with her friend, Aubry (Alexis Maitland).  However, she soon starts to wonder whether she really wants to have Miranda in her life.  Miranda is kind of clingy.  Miranda appears to be a pathological liar.  Miranda gets jealous whenever Karen has plans that don’t involve her.  When Miranda gets upset, she has a habit of ranting to herself.  (Then again, I do that as well.)

And, of course, there’s the fact that Miranda has a habit of killing people…

That’s right, it’s yet another Lifetime movie about an obsessive relationship that goes from being friendly to murderous in the blink of an eye.  Fortunately, this movie was written by Christine Conradt and directed by Curtis Crawford, two Lifetime veterans who know how to make movies like this interesting.  The Psycho She Met Online might never surprise you but then again, the predictability of the format is part of the fun when it comes to Lifetime thrillers.  The best role in any Lifetime film is always the psycho and Charity Shea does a great job as the totally insane Miranda.

All in all, it’s another enjoyable Lifetime film!

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