Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 2/6/22 — 2/13/22

Posted on February 12, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s been quite a week. The Oscar nominations were announced. The creepiest Winter Games ever have been playing out in China. South Park revealed that some people apparently didn’t understand that Tolkein was named after the author of The Hobibt and Lord of the Rings. (Like, seriously, you guys…..) And the z-list celebs on Celebrity Big Brother revealed themselves to be taking the show way too seriously.

Here’s a few thoughts on what I watched this week:

Allo Allo (Sunday Night, PBS)

Chaos on a train! Rene thought he and Yvette were going to elope on the Geneva Express but unfortunately, his wife Edith found Rene’s note and thought that it was meant for her. While Rene wandered the train, trying to hook up with his two mistresses without his wife noticing, Herr Flick, Lt. Gruber, and a host of others wandered the train in search for the valuable original copy of the painting known as The Fallen Madonna With The Big Boobies. Things got a bit chaotic on the train and they were even more chaotic back at the Cafe, where Officer Crabtree and his mangled French offered up very little in the way of help. I laughed, I always do.

The Amazing Race (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I wrote about the latest episode of The Amazing Race here. The Amazing Race has been a bit odd this season. Due to the COVID lockdowns, two of the strongest teams ended up dropping out of the race. As a result, we are late into the race and there are currently three strong teams and then two teams that basically can’t even read a road map. The two weaker teams would never have lasted this long in a normal season. I’m going to laugh and laugh if one of them somehow manages to win. As of right now, though, it seems as if the oddly robotic but hyper competent team of Kim & Penn have to be considered the favorites.

BBC World News (Tuesday Morning, BBC)

I watched the Oscar nomination announcements on the BBC because, unlike ABC, the BBC actually showed all of the categories instead of just showing the major nominees. (Add to that, why would anyone want to watch Oscar analysis from George Stephanopoulos?) I have to admit that I enjoyed the BBC’s take on the nominations, which basically amounted to, “Quite a few nominations for Belfast, that’s a win for our side.”

Celebrity Big Brother (CBS and Paramount Plus)

I wrote about Celebrity Big Brother for the Big Brother Blog. I have to admit that I’m not a huge fan of celebrity reality competition shows to begin with and Celebrity Big Brother tends to be the worst of them all. Since celebrities really don’t have much at stake in these games, most of them just leave the House when things get too intense, like Chris Kattan did earlier this week. As for the remaining celebrity houseguests, Todd Bridges is an idiot and Toddrick Hall seems to be taking this whole thing just a little bit too seriously. Don’t ruin your brand just to give Julie Chen something to talk about.

King of the Hill (Weekday Afternoon, FXX)

Among the episodes I watched on Monday afternoon, there was one where Hank got to carry the Olympic flame and Dale got a chance to use the flame to light his cigarette. Go, Hank! Go, Dale! That was back when the Olympics were something special.

On Thursday, after getting disgusted with all of the propaganda at the Winter Games, I again turned over to FXX and watched a few episodes of King of the Hill. I watched five episodes, from Lucky trying to sue Dale to Launne getting married to Boomhauer surfing at Corpus Christi. It was fun and took my mind off what Boomhauer would call “the dang ol’ enormity of it all.”

The Love Boat (MeTV, Sunday Afternoon)

Yay! It was a 70s Valentine’s cruise! Love was in the air and cocaine was probably backstage. Sailing on the Love Boat were Patty Duke, Frankie Avalon, Barbie Benton, Denny Evans, Jamie Farr, Ricky Nelson, and Carole White! A computer program that was designed to link everyone to their ideal Valentine’s Day partner caused havoc on the boat but everything worked out in the end. That’s the important thing.

Pam & Tommy (Hulu)

Because I have the world’s worst martyr complex, I wrote about the latest episode of Pam & Tommy here.

South Park (Wednesday Night, Comedy Central)

For the record, I always knew his name was Tolkien. I don’t know what the Hell was wrong with the rest of you.

The Winter Olympics (All Week, NBC and Other Stations)

On Sunday night, I watched figure skating. Even though I’m not as into the Olympics this year as I’ve been in previous years, there’s still no way that I would miss figure skating, curling, yeti hunting, and that weird sport where they ski and shoot a rifle.

On Monday morning, I watched that very sport, with the skiing and the rifle shooting. It still seemed like a strange sport to me but, as I watched, I also realized that it was probably the only Olympic event that James Bond would have enjoyed (and, by that, I mean Roger Moore’s joyful Bond as opposed to Daniel Craig’s whiny Bond) and I was happy about that. Later, I watched some curling and I seriously think I could do well with that sport. I know how to work a broom.

On Wednesday, I watched some skiing and that totally freaked me out, just because I’ve heard so many stories about people slamming into trees. Agck! Then, on Thursday, I watched a bit more curling and that definitely left me less freaked out than the skiing. You can’t hurt anyone with a broom, unless you’re Jackie Chan in an 80s movie.

Saturday morning, I watched some figure skating, which I loved. I also watched some ski jumping and I marveled at how fake the snow looked. Apparently, they’ve been using fake snow for the Winter Olympics because it’s not actually that cold or snowy in Beijing. That’s weird and strange and yet somehow appropriate for these uniquely uninspiring games.

WKRP In Cincinnati (MeTV, Sunday Afternoon)

Radio DJ Johnny Fever got a job hosting a television dance show and sold out his soul to play disco music. Fortunately, Johnny was able to vanquish his evil Rip Tide identity at the end of the episode. At one point, Johnny’s TV boss said that she loved the 60s and would love to “get mellow and listen to the Dead” after the show and I was like, “Oh my God, they allowed people talk about weed on TV back then?” You learn something new every day.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/30/22 — 2/5/22

Posted on February 5, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As I promised last week, I spent most of this week getting caught up on movies. Here’s some thoughts on what little television I did watch:

Allo Allo (Sunday Night, PBS)

Though the episode aired on Sunday, I didn’t get to watch it until Friday and I have to admit that I was a bit out of it at the time, so don’t even ask me to explain just what exactly happened. I do remember that Officer Crabtree had a conversation in which he mangled the French language. I know that happens every episode but still, it always makes me laugh.

The Amazing Race (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I wrote about the latest episode of The Amazing Race here!

The Bachelor (Monday Night, ABC)

Claytonbot continued to learn human emotions while the bachelorettes continued to accuse each other of not being on the show for the right reasons. Claytonbot even cancelled the cocktail party due to some drama that was definitely totally real and in no way staged. Like, totally, for real.

Bar Rescue (Weekday Mornings, Paramount TV)

I watched an episode on Tuesday. A bartender couldn’t make the perfect Manhattan so Jon Taffer condemned everyone who worked at the bar to Hell.

Celebrity Big Brother (Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday Night)

I wrote about Celebrity Big Brother, the show that I love to hate, over at the Big Brother Blog.

Football Game: Bengals vs. Chiefs (Sunday Night, Fox)

I was happy when the Bengals won because they wear those cute helmets with the stripes.

Football Games: 49ers vs Rams (Sunday afternoon, CBS)

Everyone’s a winner as far as I’m concerned! Yay! But, on a much more realistic note, the Rams won. Or was it the 49ers? I can’t remember for sure. Either way, congrats.

Full House (Sunday Mornings, MeTV)

I watched two episodes on Sunday. Uncle Jesse was upset that no one cared about his crappy cover band. I have to wonder if the band themselves ever resented having all of Danny Tanner’s bratty children wandering around the place while they were trying to rehearse. Also, why didn’t they rehearse in the garage as opposed to that cramped living room? I haven’t seen that many episodes of Full House but I’m getting the feeling that this show often did not make sense.

The Love Boat (Sunday Evening, MeTV)

It was a Halloween episode so everyone wore a costume. Woo hoo!

The Office (All Week, Comedy Central)

On Friday, I watched the “Search Committee” episode, which I’ve always considered to be one of those shows biggest mistakes. This was after Michael had left, D’Angelo had died, and Dwight had fired a gun in the office. Jo appointed Gabe, Jim, and Toby to interview applicants to be the new manager and, of course, all of the applicants were played by celebrities. The cameos were distracting and I still don’t understand why James Spader’s bland take on Robert California led to the show being massively restructured during the following season. Of the celebs who interviewed, Ray Romano actually came across like he would have been the best fit for the show’s style but, if I remember correctly, Romano was already on another show at the time. Personally, I think that, instead of trying to find another Steve Carell, they should have just hired some nondescript nobody to play the manager and spent the last seasons of The Office concentrating on the people working there.

I can still remember watching this episode when it originally aired. At the time, I actually felt a bit of dread when Andy Bernard showed up to be interviewed because I knew he was probably going to end up with the job. Andy was a funny character during his first two seasons with the show but, after that, Ed Helms’s performance started to become oddly needy. All of the flaws that made Andy an unfortunate choice to be at the center of the season 8 were present in the “Search Committee” episode.

Finally, I have to ask — why would Jo put Jim on the Committee? How does that make any sense? He already had managerial experience so why didn’t she just promote him?

Open All Hours (Sunday Night, PBS)

Granville seemed to be really upset about something. As usual, Arkwright was too busy obsessing on Nurse Gladys Emmanuel to care. This was definitely an episode that I had seen before.

Pam & Tommy (Hulu)

I wrote about the first three episodes of Pam & Tommy here.

Parking Wars (Tuesday Morning, A&E)

The indie towing guys took a man’s truck and then laughed when the man said that he was going to lose his job and wouldn’t be able to feed his family. What a bunch of scumbags. “I feel bad for him but he came here cussing and I got no sympathy for that.” ANY SYMPATHY, you illiterate fascist!

The View (Weekday Mornings, ABC)

It’s been a very long time since I’ve watched The View but I decided to watch it on Tuesday to see how they would deal with Whoopi Goldberg outing herself as being incredibly ignorant on the subject of the Holocaust. It turns out that they didn’t really deal with it. Whoopi briefly interviewed the president of the ADL, who mentioned that The View had never had a Jewish co-host. The show then went to commercial and we came back with Whoopi and the gang talking about “you know who,” which I guess is their way of referring to Trump. Later, Charlie Day was interviewed. I like Charlie Day. For one thing, he’s not an anti-Semite.

That night, after the show aired, ABC announced that Whoopi would be suspended for two weeks. For the record, I don’t think Whoopi’s comments were malicious, at least not in the way that Nick Cannon’s anti-Semitic comments were. (It’s kind of weird how Nick basically repeated the same anti-Semitic conspiracy theories that have, for centuries, been used to justify the persecution of the Jewish people but, afterwards, was allowed to keep his job as host of The Masked Singer and was also giving his own talk show. Like seriously, how the Hell does that happen?) I think Whoopi’s comments were ignorant and the fact that she doubled down on them, on both the show and apparently later on Colbert, shows the type of arrogance that only comes from never having to deal with anyone openly disagreeing with you. I’d rather that, instead of suspending her and waiting for everything the blow over, The View would have used this opportunity to educate both Goldberg and the show’s viewers. Whoopi Goldberg is 66 years old and, we are constantly told, a smart woman. That she could be so ignorant is definitely a cause for concern.

The Winter Olympics (Weekdays, NBC and other stations)

I’ve tried to watch a little of The Olympics but the whole thing just feels icky this year. As soon as the Olympics Committee guy started quoting John Lennon during the opening ceremonies, I had to look away. I imagine I’ll watch a bit of skating and maybe some curling. But I’m definitely in no way enthusiastic about the Olympics this year.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/23/22 — 1/29/22

Posted on January 29, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Another week in January essentially means another week of allergies and sneezing. I watched quite a few movies this week but I also catched a few shows. When you’re feeling under the weather, it’s sometimes more fun to watch something that’s only going to require 30 minutes of your attention as opposed to 132 of them.

Allo Allo (Sunday Night, PBS)

The show started with Rene nearly blowing up the cafe while trying to hide the stolen land mines and it ended with Herr Flick and Von Smallhousen trapped on a British airplane flying high over occupied France. Along the way, Crabtree tried to speak French and the British airmen hid in a barrel. It was all good fun. I laughed.

The Amazing Race (Wednesday, CBS)

I wrote about the latest episode of The Amazing Race here! Switzerland, as I mentioned in my write up, is a beautiful country. The scenery is gorgeous and the people understand the value of staying on schedule.

The Bachelor (Monday Night, ABC)

This week on The Bachelor, the women went to group therapy and Clayton continued to try to understand and replicate human behavior. Seriously, they should just call him the Claytonbot. I keep expecting him to ask someone why humans laughs and cry.

Bar Rescue (Monday Morning, Paramount TV)

Jon Taffer rescued a karaoke bar. Yay! A world without music is not a world for any of us.

Football Game: Buccaneers vs. Rams (Sunday Evening, NBC)

If only both teams could have won! Seriously, from what I’ve seen of it, football is the most depressing sport ever because the players on the team that doesn’t win always end up sitting there and crying while the other team is celebrating. That sucks. If I was the coach, I would make sure that every game ended in a tie so that everyone could be a winner.

Full House (Sunday Afternoon, MeTV)

God, this was a bad show. I watched the first four episodes of the show on Sunday afternoon. I felt kind of bad about not liking it but it was just so painfully cutesy. The first episode of the series featured John Stamos and the goofy guy moving in with John Stamos. The second episode featured John Stamos and his band trying to practice while two of Bob Saget’s daughters danced around. (The band sounded terrible.) The third episode featured …. I don’t even remember. I know it was during the third or the fourth episode that the school year started. Candace Cameron was upset about being put in a gifted class. John Stamos hit on a teacher. I can’t remember what the goofy one did.

From what I understand, the first four episodes are apparently the show’s highpoint so I can’t imagine what the rest of the series must have been like.

King of the Hill (Weekday Afternoons, FXX)

I watched three episodes of this classic on Friday. Things got started with Grillstravaganza, in which Bobby temporarily fell under the influence of Joe Jack. This was followed by the episode where Mr. Strickland briefly got involved with Luanne’s pool-based bible study group. And then the final episode I watched featured Hank taking over the middle school’s organic garden. Anything that featured Hank trying to motivate the apathetic students at the middle school was always funny. Hank’s work at the organic garden may have been a success but he was still perturbed when he ended up getting added to the mailing list of a hippie food store called Passages.

Open All Hours (Sunday Night, PBS)

Granville discovered that he had a cousin and she used to be able to communicate with the spirit world. Unfortunately, Granville’s spirit had already been too thoroughly broken for him to take much comfort in that knowledge.

Parking Wars (Monday Morning, A&E)

On Monday morning, as I watched the parking cops go out of their way to harass the citizens of Philadelphia, it occurred to me that most of these episodes were filmed over ten years ago. I wonder how many of these people still work for the government and how many have retired. How many are receiving a pension and how many are still walking the sidewalks and saying, “I’m just doing my job here?” Hopefully, they’re all retired and collecting a pension. It has to be kind of a sad existence, though. How does anyone sleep soundly with the knowledge that they were a part of the system?

Seinfeld (Weekdays, Comedy Central)

I watched two episodes on Friday afternoon. George and Jerry flew out to Hollywood to see Kramer. kamer, meanwhile, was arrested for being a serial killer. The real killer was Clint Howard, who was briefly arrested but who escaped police custody after George and Jerry accidentally left the backdoor of a police car unlocked. It was all kind of dark, to be honest.

Silk Stalkings (Tubi)

On Monday, I got back to binging my favorite 90s show about attractive detectives investigating half-naked criminals. The first episode featured Chris falling for a duplicitous skip tracer who, it turned out, was actually just a hitwoman. Oh, Chris! Everyone knows you and Rita are in love! The next episode featured Chris and Rita investigating the murder of a vice cop. They suspected that it may have been a cop-on-cop killing and, of course, it all linked up to Chris’s past. It was kind of a dull episode, to be honest. It wasn’t quite trashy enough. Oh well!

I didn’t return to the show until Thursday. The first episode I watched opened with the brutal murder of a wealthy married couple. At first, Chris and Rita thought that the murders had been committed by the couple’s twin sons but eventually, it was discovered that it was actually the work of the maid and a hitman. That episode was enjoyably sordid. The episode that followed was a bit less interesting. Chris and Rita investigated a gang of jewel thieves, one of whom was played by a youngish Tobin Bell. It was all a bit bland but the chemistry between Rob Estes and Mitzi Kapture kept things fun.

Lisa Marie’s Week in Television: 1/16/22 — 1/22/22

Posted on January 22, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I made a specific decision not watch too much TV this week (and next) so that I could concentrate on getting caught up on the films of 2021. I made an exception for The Amazing Race, because I write about it for another site. And, on Thursday, I did turn on the TV because I’ve had a long-standing argument with a friend of mine about whether or not The United States of Al is real show or just a twitter meme. It turns out that it’s real!

Anyway, here’s a few thoughts on what little I watched.

Allo Allo (Sunday Night, PBS)

In occupied France, the search for the stolen money was replaced by the search for the stolen landmines. Rene continued to try to run his cafe and cheat on his wife in peace while Michelle and the Resistance continued to insist that, as the bravest man in all of France, Rene had a responsibility to continually put his life in danger. Along the way, Michelle said, “I shall say this only once,” and Herr Flick and Van Smallhousen disguised themselves as monks. The comedy on this show is very broad but it’s also very well-acted so I can’t help but laugh.

Crabtree referred to the bombs as being “bongs.” Again, it made me laugh.

The Amazing Race (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I wrote about the restart of the race here! I shall miss Anthony and Spencer the most.

B Positive (Thursday Night, CBS)

This is one of Chuck Lorre’s many depressing sitcoms. Imagine Mom but instead of being a bunch of drunks, all of the characters are terminally ill. Anyway, I watched this week’s episode just to confirm to myself that this show actually exists. And it does. I didn’t pay much attention to the episode, though. For some reason, what I did see reminded me of those annoying commercials that Kate McKinnon does for Verizon.

Who doesn’t love a comedy about people dying scared and alone?

Football Game: Cowboys vs 49 (Sunday Afternoon, CBS)

My initial reaction to Dallas’s loss went something like this: “Congrats on cheating your way to victory, San Francisco. Must be great to have the officials on your side. Well, you guys got the victory but at least my city is a nice place to live so we’ll call it a draw.”

Fortunately, it has since been explained to me what happened during the final minutes of the game and I now understand that the Cowboys lost because they made a lot of sloppy and stupid mistakes. So, a sincere congrats to the 49ers and to the Cowboys: Stop screwing up!

Full House (Sunday Afternoon, MeTV)

MeTV showed four episodes of Full House as a part of their tribute to Bob Saget. I watched all four and My God, that was a bad show. Saget was likable, though. And I liked both John Stamos and Lori Loughlin and even Candace Cameron did her best to bring some sort of reality to the over-the-top cutesiness of the show. But everyone else was pretty obnoxious and the dialogue was so painfully sweet that it was impossible to listen to without cringing. I do have to admit that the audience’s habit of responding to everything by going, “Awwwww!’ did make me smile a little.

Ghosts (Thursday Night, CBS)

Ghosts is about a couple who live in a haunted house with a bunch of quirky ghosts. Cute concept but it gets old quickly. Why can’t the scoutmaster ghost take that stupid arrow out of his neck? This week, one of the ghosts discovered that she had the power to end people to Hell which … eh. Like I said, it got old quickly.

Open All Hours (Sunday Night, PBS)

Arkwright was obsessed with Nurse Gladys Emmanuel. Granville was depressed. I’m pretty sure that Sunday was not the first that I had seen this episode.

The United States of Al (Thursday Night, CBS)

I watched an episode of this show just to see if it actually existed. Apparently, it’s been on the air for a year or two but I have never met anyone who has actually watched the show. Earlier this year, there was some twitter excitement over an extremely mawkish commercial for the show’s new season but that was pretty much it. I always suspected that the commercial was actually some sort of viral prank but I guess I was wrong.

Anyway, this is about a veteran who lives with Al, who was his interpreter in Afghanistan. It’s a culture clash comedy. The main theme seems to be that Al is annoying af. It’s also a Chuck Lorre sitcom so the show actually deals with serious issue in a cartoonish way. This week’s episode featured Al getting addicted to online poker. His roommate sprayed him with a garden hose until he snapped out of it.

Yep, this is a real show.

Oh! And the episode ended with one of those stupid Chuck Lorre title cards for people who want to hit pause and discover what Chuck thinks about the world. It was something about Liz Cheney. It was like five or six words long but that proved to be too many for my ADD. Oh well!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 1/9/22 — 1/15/22

Posted on January 15, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Another week and I have yet to watch the latest season of Cobra Kai. What can I tell you? This was a busy week and I was sick for a good deal of it. No, not COVID sick. Instead, I was just sick with the cold and the allergies that I get hit with every January. You would think that would lead to me having a lot of extra time in which I would have nothing to do but watch all the latest shows but it didn’t quite work out that way.

Anyway, I’m feeling better now and David Lynch’s birthday is next Thursday so this upcoming week is going to be a good one.

Here’s my week in television.

Allo Allo (Sunday Night, PBS)

LeClerc was nearly executed in the town square by Herr Flick. Apparently, it was because Flick is still searching for the stolen money. (To be honest, it can be a bit difficult to keep up with everyone’s motivations on Allo Allo.) Fortunately, the British bombers flew over the town just in time to provide a distraction. “The bummers!” Office Crabtree announced, in his mangled French, “Just in the nock of tome!” LeClerc escaped with his life but the British airmen are still stuck at Rene’s café.

The Amazing Race (Wednesday Night, CBS)

The Amazing Race went to Scotland this week, which made me feel very nostalgic for the last time that I was in Scotland. Unfortunately, at the end of this leg of the race, Phil announced that shooting was being suspended due to the COVID lockdowns. The action then picked up over a year later, with the remaining teams gathering in Switzerland to continue the race. Unfortunately, not all of the teams could return, including my favorite, the team of Anthony and Spencer. Boo hoo. Anyway, I reviewed this week’s episode here!

The Bachelor (Monday Night, ABC)

This Monday, I watched the Bachelor while also watching a Steven Seagal film. I’m still trying to decide which leading man had less charisma. Seagal is pretty boring but Clayton is just like a piece of cement that can speak in barely legible sentences.

Bar Rescue (Weekday Morning, Paramount)

I had this on the TV for background noise on Thursday morning. While Windows updated, I listened to Jon Taffer yell at an owner who forgot to call a cab for a drunk guy. Usually, I think Taffer needs to calm down but, in this case, he did have a point.

The Brady Bunch (Sunday Morning, MeTV)

On Sunday, MeTV aired four episodes of The Brady Bunch and they all featured Alice being taken for granted. In the first two episodes, her boyfriend took her for granted. In the next two, the family took her for granted and even drove her to quit at one point. The new maid wasn’t as nice as Alice so the family went down to Alice’s new waitressing job and basically got her fired. What a bunch of jerks. Why did Alice put with all that? Was the money that good?

Dexter: New Blood (Sunday Night, Showtime)

I wrote about the series finale here! For the record, I refuse to believe that Dexter’s dead.

Judge Steve Harvey (Monday and Tuesday Night, ABC)

I watched this new series on Monday. It came on after The Bachelor and I was too busy (or maybe lazy) to change the channel. I can’t really say I paid that much attention to it. Why would you air a cheesy courtroom show in Primetime? Why would you get Steve Harvey to be the judge? Why, why, why?

By the way, since Steve Harvey is now an ABC employee, you know he’s going to end up hosting the Oscars right? The Oscars are going to come back from commercial and Steve’s going to say, “If you ain’t thanking God in your speech, that Oscar’s not going to provide much comfort while you’re burning in Hell.”

King of the Hill (Weekdays, FXX)

I watched a few episodes of King of the Hill on Sunday afternoon. My favorite of them was the two-part episode where Hank was briefly a murder suspect and he feared that, due to accidentally taking one hit off a joint, he might be guilty. “My God, I’m hearing things. That’s a side effect of the marijuana poisoning.”

The Larry Sanders Show (HBOMax)

This is a 90s sitcom that aired on HBO, about a neurotic talk show host (Garry Shandling), his sleazy sidekick (Jeffrey Tambor), his profane producer (Rip Torn), and the show’s staff. Jeff loves this show so we watched two episodes on Sunday morning. The first one we watched featured Larry freaking out over David Duchovny having a crush on him. The second one featured Larry’s sidekick, Hank, freaking out because one of his sex tapes had been stolen. In short, there were a lot of people freaking out. Both episodes were pretty funny, though the whole thing was definitely a relic of a different era. (The highlight of the second episode was a bizarre conversation between Norm McDonald and Henry Winkler. Winkler thought Hank’s sex tape was an exercise video. McDonald said, “Hank’s got a huge cock,” in that Canadian way of his. Winkler replied, “Then why is he so upset?” Trust me, it was funny.) Rip Torn was hilarious as Larry’s producer. That said, I don’t think I would have wanted to spend any time with any of the characters on The Larry Sanders Show. They were all funny but kind of mean. They probably would have made me cry.

The Love Boat (Sunday Evening, MeTV)

MeTV paid tribute to Betty White on Sunday by showing a 1984 episode of The Love Boat, in which she was a passenger. Also on the Boat for that cruise: Carol Channing, Rue McClanahan, Michelle Phillips, Cesar Romero, Alan Thicke, Dick Van Patten, and Fred Willard.

Betty White and Carol Channing played showbiz veterans who were trying to convince Cesar Romero to publish White’s memoirs. Thicke played a man who was trying to convince his ex-wife (Phillips) to marry Fred Willard so he wouldn’t have to pay any more alimony. Meanwhile, in a totally serious subplot, Dick Van Patten played an abusive salesman married to McClanahan. The serious subplot was kind of jarring when mixed in with scenes of White and Channing singing and Fred Willard doing his amiable goof routine.

The Mary Tyler Moore Show (Sunday Afternoon, MeTV)

MeTV showed four episodes of The Mary Tyler Moore Show, all featuring Betty White in the role of Sue Anne Nivens. Needless to say, they were all funny but it was hard to watch them without considering that the entire cast is now gone.

Mom (Weekday Afternoon, Paramount)

On Thursday, I forgot the change the channel before Paramount started their two-hour Mom bloc. All four of the episodes dealt with the moms and their friends freaking out over people smoking weed. The few time that I’ve seen Mom have made me happy that I don’t have an addictive personality because I don’t think I could handle being a Recovery person.

The Office (Weekday Evenings, Freeform)

I’m happy to say that The Office is now on FreeForm, so I can watch it without having to deal with Comedy Central’s weird, mental health commercials. (“The past two years have been difficult for everyone….” Yeah, no shit. That’s why I’m watching your station, so I can escape for a few hours.) I watched a few episodes from Season 4 on Wednesday and then a few from Season 5 on Friday.

Open All Hours (Sunday Night, PBS)

While Arkwright cheated his customers and sold them spoiled food, Granville swept the store in quiet misery.

Relatively Famous: Ranch Rules (Saturday Morning, E!)

The children of celebrities work at a ranch, that’s the plot of this show. On the episode I saw, Billy Bob Thornton’s son was fascinated by a cow giving birth. Then everyone went back to their cabin and talked about how difficult it was being only relatively famous.

Silk Stalkings (Tubi)

On Sunday morning, I decided to get back to binging Silk Stalkings, the 90s show about half-naked people committing crimes. The first episode that I watched featured Chris and Rita investigating the murder of a hair dresser. At first, they thought it was mob-related but then it turned out to be relationship related. This was actually an episode that I had seen before but it was still enjoyable to rewatch. The second one I watched featured Chris and Rita investigating the murder of a surgeon and again, this turned out to be one that I had seen before. (Both episodes previously aired on ZLiving while I was dealing with that terrible sinus infection last year.) Still, even if it was a rewatch, it was still enjoyable. Silk Stalkings was delightfully trashy.

The first episode that I watched on Monday was another one that I saw last summer, while I was dealing with that sinus infection. (Yuck. I hate word sinus and I hate the word infection.) A real estate tycoon was beaten to death by a baseball bat and all the suspicion fell on the baseball player that Rita happened to be dating. This was followed by an episode in which an obnoxious radio talk show host bullied people into committing murder and suicide. It was a well-done episode. Rodger Bumpass (who is perhaps best-known for voicing Squidward Tentacles on Spongebob) was perfectly cast as the evil talk show host. The third episode I watched involved Chris and Rita solving a homicide that was witnessed by a teenage runaway. Rita encouraged the runaway to get back in school. Good for Rita! Finally, the fourth episode featured Rita investigating the murder of a friend’s nanny. I didn’t really pay much attention to it but, from what I saw, everyone appeared to be having fun.

On Tuesday, I got things started with an episode that featured Chris and Rita investigating a murder at an exclusive casino. Chris got to wear a tux while Rita went undercover as a dealer. They were so cute together! This was followed by an episode with Rita and Chris investigated the death of a drug dealer, despite the fact that the new DA wanted them to lay off the case because it might make the department look bad. It was a bit of bland episode, to be honest. The third episode was considerably better, as it featured Chris shooting a suspect and then the suspect’s sister trying to get revenge by seducing him. It was trashy and fun. Even more trashy and fun was the final episode that I watched on Tuesday, in which a prostitute witnessed a murder and Chris and Rita ended up investigating a judge.

I didn’t watch the show on Wednesday but I did return to it on Thursday. The first episode I watched featured Chris, Rita, and their captain (played by Broadway legend Ben Vereen) going undercover to bust a bunch of drug dealer who were working out of a club. Vereen seemed to be having a lot of fun and that made this otherwise pedestrian episode entertaining. This was followed by an episode that found Chris and Rita going undercover yet again, this time on the set of a trashy film shoot. It turned out that one of the actresses on the film was Chris’s mother! It was a fun episode.

On Friday, the first episode that I watched featured the great Patrick Muldoon as a serial rapist who had just been released from prison. Chris and Rita made sure that he didn’t go back to prison by sending him to the graveyard instead. Muldoon, in his younger years, was always perfectly cast as a villain and this episode was effectively disturbing. Rita and Chris’s fury felt real and cathartic. At its best, Silk Stalkings was trash with a conscience. That was followed by an episode where Chris and Rita went undercover as a married couple and were totally adorable as they solved the murder of a man who was found on the beach wearing a tuxedo.

I did not watch the show on Saturday but I look forward to returning to it over the course of the upcoming week!

WKRP In Cincinnati (DVD)

This 70s sitcom dealt with the daily life at a radio station in Cincinnati. Jeff loves this show so we watched a few episodes on Sunday morning. One dealt with a man in a pig costume painting the station’s lobby. Another one featured the station manager running unsuccessfully for city council. And the third one featured the station’s ad guy appearing on an early reality show called Real Families. WKRP was a pretty funny show. Like The Larry Sanders Show, it was very much a show of its time. Unlike The Larry Sanders Show, the show’s characters were really likable and I would have probably enjoyed working with them. No one would have made me cry.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television 1/2/22 — 1/8/22

Posted on January 8, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As the first week of 2022 comes to a close …. I have yet to watch the fourth season of Cobra Kai! What’s up with that? Oh well, I’ll watch it next week. This week, I was busy. Next week, I’ll ignore everything else I need to do and watch TV. How is that not a good plan?

Anyway, here’s what I watched this week:

Allo Allo (Sunday Night, PBS)

After being gone for a month due to pledge programming, Allo Allo returned to the PBS line-up on January 2nd. Having escaped from the hospital, Rene returned to the café and dealt with Michelle’s latest scheme to get the airmen out of France. It involved hiding them in a hollow bomb that would be dropped over England. The only problem is the Resistance needed a place to hide the bombs. Michelle, of course, volunteered Rene’s cafe.

While I continue to laugh at Crabtree’s mangled French, I also find myself looking forward to the every scene involving LeClerc and his attempts to disguise himself. “It is I, LeClerc.”

The Amazing Race 33 (Wendsenday Night, CBS)

I wrote about the premiere of The Amazing Race here!

The Bachelor (Monday Night, ABC)

Big goofy Clayton is the new Bachelor. Big goofy Jesse Palmer is the new host. Honestly, we need more of a break between installments of this franchise. Anyway, Monday’s episode featured Clayton meeting the girls and, of course, sending one of them home on the first night because she wasn’t there for the right reasons (plus, she was like sloppy drunk). It was such an obvious set up.

Dexter: New Blood (Sunday Night, Showtime)

I reviewed the latest episode of Dexter: New Blood here!

Joe Millionaire (Thursday Night, Fox)

On this dating reality show, a group of women are competing to end up with one of two men. One of the men is a millionaire. The other isn’t! The twist is that the women don’t know which is which. Unfortunately, the viewers do know and that takes a lot of the fun out of the show. It would be a lot more enjoyable if we were guessing along with the women. Instead, we know that the farmer is actually very wealthy and the dude who looks like a European prince is actually a construction worker.

(To be honest, this show seems more like a parody of a reality show than an actual show.)

The first episode of this new edition of Joe Millionaire aired on Thursday. One of the women was sent home because she followed one of the men on social media. The show handled this development as if it was the most serious thing ever. I guess sending one random person home on the first day is going to be a new dating show ritual. Anyway, Joe Millionaire was pretty stupid. The men were boring. The women were boring. The host is also the butler at the mansion where everyone is staying. There was a lot of nonsense over whether or not everyone was there for the right reason. (What is the right reason when it comes to stuff like this?) Who cares?

I’ll probably watch it, though. I just won’t talk about it on twitter. It’ll be our little secret, my dear readers. Sound good?

The Love Boat (Sunday Evening, MeTV)

The Love Boat and its enthusiastic crew completed their cruise to Alaska. Everyone learned an important lesson about being too competitive and the importance of following one’s heart. Yay! Needless to say, it was a pretty silly show but sometimes, it’s good to watch something silly.

And Love …. won’t hurt anymore….

The Office (All The Time, Comedy Central)

I watched a few episodes from the fourth season on Thursday. Michael hanging out in New York with Ryan was good. The dinner party remains a classic. I had to change the channel once we got to the one where Jim was playing golf with the client and, for some stupid reason, he brought along Kevin and Andy. It never felt right whenever the show featured Jim actually working.

Open All Hours (Sunday Night, PBS)

After being off the air for the month of December due to pledge programming, Open All Hours has returned to the PBS lineup. On Sunday’s episode, Arkwright longed for Nurse Gladys Emmanuel while Granville continued to stew in resentment. I don’t blame Granville. It couldn’t have been easy being a 40 year-old stockboy. I always find myself wondering what Granville did to get sold into indentured servitude in the first place.

Shipping Wars (Tuesday Morning, A&E)

A&E is now showing the old, original episodes of Shipping Wars in the morning and new episodes at night. I have yet to watch any of the new episodes, mostly because the old episodes got so annoying after Roy died that I can’t imagine that the new episodes could be any better.

Anyway, on Tuesday, I mostly had the show on for background noise. I did notice that one episode featured a bunch of people pointing guns at Roy. It was presented as being a very dramatic situation but if Roy was really going to be shot, I kind of doubt that Shipping Wars film crew would be allowed to just hang out while it was happening. Eventually, it all turned out to be an elaborate prank.

Another episode featured Jen basically destroying a butter sculpture that she had been hired to deliver. Apparently, this was no prank. On the original Shipping Wars, Jen ruined nearly every delivery she was supposed to make. It’s kind of odd that people kept hiring her.

The Twilight Zone (Sunday, SyFy)

SyFy completed its Twilight Zone marathon on Sunday. I caught two of the marathon’s final episodes, both of which were from the season when the show had an hour running time instead of 30-minute. The hour-long Twilight Zones tend to be uneven. The first episode I watched was about a ship that came across as possibly haunted submarine. It would have been an enjoyably creepy 30-minute episode but, at an hour, there was just too much obvious padding. The second episode featured a young Dennis Hopper as a Neo-Nazi loser who finds success after a mysterious benefactor takes him under his wing. The identity of the benefactor was obvious from the start (it rhymed with Jitler) but Hopper’s odd and unhinged performance made this episode memorable.

U.S. Figure Skating Championships 2022 (Saturday afternoon, NBC)

USA! USA! USA!

6 Good Things That Lisa Marie Saw On Television in 2019

Posted on January 25, 2020 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s going to be a short list this year but that’s okay.

Chernobyl — This miniseries about the Chernobyl disaster was both engrossing and horrifying.
Unbelievable — This Netflix miniseries was important viewing. Kaitlyn Dever gives one of the bravest and most honest performances of the year.
The Finale of Veep — The best comedy on television went out on a high note. Selina got what she wanted and she lost everything as a result. Veep took a look at our leaders and showed us that, for the most part, they’re just as venal and screwed up as the rest of us.
Barry — Without a doubt, one of the best shows to come along in a while. The adventure of Barry, hitman-turned-actor, continue to fascinate. Great work from Bill Hader, Henry Winkler, Stephen Root, Sarah Goldberg, and Anthony Carrigan.
Tulsi Gabbard destroys Kamala Harris’s Presidential Campaign During The Democratic Primary Debate — There was just something very gratifying about watching a self-described “top tier candidate” get taken down by someone who the media previously attempted to dismiss.
Colin and Christie finally won The Amazing Race — Yay!

What If Lisa Had All The Power: 2018 Emmys Edition

Posted on July 12, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Hi, everyone!

I meant to do this a lot earlier in the month but with the combination of the 4th of July and some other things I had to attend to, I didn’t get the chance until now. In just a few hours, the 2018 Emmy nominations will be announced. Hopefully, it’ll be a good morning for Twin Peaks!

Anyway, here’s who and what I would nominate in the major Emmy categories if I had all the power. Please notice that I just said major categories. There’s like hundreds of different Emmy categories, the majority of which aren’t ever awarded during the prime time awards show. As much as I’d love to post every single category, it’s late and I’m not sure that you really care who I think should win Outstanding Art Direction For An Informational Program, 30 Minutes Or Shorter.

Anyway, here are my picks. Obviously, I’ve only nominated films and TV shows that I actually watched during the 2017-2018 season. For the most part, I also limited myself to the shows and performers that have actually been submitted for Emmy consideration. You can see a full list of all the submissions here.

Anyway, here are my nominees. (Winners are in bold.)

Programming

Best Comedy Series

Atlanta,

Barry,

Brooklyn Nine-Nine,

The End of the Fucking World,

GLOW,

New Girl,

Silicon Valley,

Young Sheldon

Best Drama Series

The Americans,

Game of Thrones,

The Crown

Legion,

Ozark,

Stranger Things,

Trust,

Westworld

Outstanding Limited Series

The Alienist,

American Vandal,

The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story,

Genius: Picasso,

Howard’s End,

Picnic at Hanging Rock,

The Terror,

Twin Peaks: The Return

Outstanding Television Movie

(I cheated with this category. Jesus Christ Superstar was submitted in the category of Outstanding Variety Special. I felt it belonged here and since it’s my list, I went with it.)

Cocaine Godmother,

I Am Elizabeth Smart,

Jesus Christ Superstar,

Psych: The Movie,

Sharknado 5,

The Tale,

USS Calllister (Black Mirror)

When Love Kills: The Falacia Blakely Story

Outstanding Reality Competition Program

The Amazing Race,

The Bachelorette,

Big Brother: Celebrity Edition,

Dancing With The Stars,

Hell’s Kitchen,

Project Runway,

Survivor,

World of Dance

Performers

Best Actor (Comedy)

Bruce Campbell in Ash Vs. Evil Dead

Donald Glover in Atlanta

Bill Hader in Barry

Pete Holmes in Crashing

Alex Lawther in The End of the Fucking World

Andy Samberg in Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Best Actor (Drama)

Jason Bateman in Ozark

Tom Ellis in Lucifer

James Franco in The Deuce

Ed Harris in Westworld

Donald Sutherland in Trust

Jeffrey Wright in Westworld

Best Actor (Limited Series)

Antonio Banderas in Genius: Picasso

Daniel Bruhl in The Alienist

Darren Criss in The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story

Tyler Kitsch in Waco

Kyle MacLachlan in Twin Peaks: The Return

Jimmy Tatro in American Vandal

Best Actor (Movie)

Matthew Broderick in A Christmas Story Live!

Dule Hill in Psych: The Movie

John Legend in Jesus Christ Superstar

Al Pacino in Paterno

Jesse Plemons in USS Callister (Black Mirror)

James Roday in Psych: The Movie

Best Actress (Comedy)

Jessica Barden in The End Of The Fucking World

Melissa Barrera in Vida

Alison Brie in GLOW

Zooey Deschanel in New Girl

Justina Machado in One Day At A Time

Ella Purnell in Sweetbitter

Best Actress (Drama)

Claire Danes in Homeland

Claire Foy in The Crown

Rose McIver in iZombie

Krysten Ritter in Marvel’s Jessica Jones

Keri Russell in The Americans

Evan Rachel Wood in Westworld

Best Actress (Limited Series)

Hayley Atwell in Howard’s End

Natalie Dormer in Picnic at Hanging Rock

Jennifer Ferrin Mosiac

Anna Friel in The Girlfriend Experience

Sarah Gadon in Alias Grace

Louisa Krause in The Girlfriend Experience

Best Actress (Movie)

Alana Boden in I Am Elizabeth Smart

Laura Dern in The Tale

Parisa Fitz-Henley in Harry & Meghan: A Royal Romance

Kelly MacDonald in The Child In Time (Masterpiece Theater)

Maya Rudolph in A Christmas Story Live!

Catherine Zeta-Jones in Cocaine Godmother

Best Supporting Actor (Comedy)

Andre Braugher in Brooklyn Nine Nine

Brian Tyree Henry in Atlanta

Marc Maron in GLOW

Stephen Root in Barry

Henry Winkler in Barry

Zach Woods in Silicon Valley

Best Supporting Actor (Drama)

Peter Dinklage in Game of Thrones

Noah Emmerich in The Americans

Brendan Fraser in Trust

James Marsden in Westworld

Zahn McClarnon in Westworld

Matt Smith in The Crown

Best Supporting Actor (Limited Series)

Tyler Alvarez in American Vandal

Miguel Ferrer in Twin Peaks: The Return

Robert Forster in Twin Peaks: The Return

Michael Horse in Twin Peaks: The Return

David Lynch in Twin Peaks: The Return

Finn Wittrock in The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story

Best Supporting Actor (Movie)

Corbin Bernsen in Psych: The Movie

Brandon Victor Dixon in Jesus Christ Superstar

Aldis Hodge in Black Museum (Black Mirror)

Jason Ritter in The Tale

Jimmi Simpson in USS Callister (Black Mirror)

Skeet Ulrich in I Am Elizabeth Smart

Best Supporting Actress (Comedy)

Stephanie Beartriz in Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Suzanne Cryer in Silicon Valley

Sarah Goldberg in Barry

Rita Moreno in One Day At A Time

Zoe Perry in Young Sheldon

Hannah Simone in New Girl

Best Supporting Actress (Drama)

Summer Bishil in The Magicians

Lena Headey in Game of Thrones

Margo Martindale in The Americans

Thandie Newton in Westworld

Aubrey Plaza in Legion

Tessa Thompson in Westworld

Best Supporting Actress (Limited Series)

Penelope Cruz in The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story

Laura Dern in Twin Peaks: The Return

Dakota Fanning in The Alienist

Judith Light in The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story

Julia Ormond in Howards End

Naomi Watts in Twin Peaks: The Return

Best Supporting Actress (Movie)

Sara Bareilles in Jesus Christ Superstar Live in Concert

Ellen Burstyn in The Tale

Michaela Coel in USS Callister (Black Mirror)

Anna Gasteyer in A Christmas Story Live!

Anjelica Huston in The Watcher In The Woods

Letitia Wright in Black Museum (Black Mirror)

Best Guest Actor (Comedy)

Bill Burr in Crashing

Josh Hamilton in Sweetbitter

Lee Majors in Ash vs. Evil Dead

Wallace Shawn in Young Sheldon

Danny Trejo in Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Gerald Webb in Barry

Best Guest Actor (Drama)

Michael C. Hall in The Crown

C. Thomas Howell in Marvel’s The Punisher

Matthew Modine in Stranger Things

Denis O’Hare in American Masters

Jimmi Simpson in Westworld

Jonathan Tucker in Westworld

Best Guest Actress (Comedy)

Gail Bean in Atlanta

Rashida Jones in Portlandia

Nasim Pedrad in Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Sheridan Piece in One Day At A Time

Elizabeth Perkins in GLOW

Wrenn Schmidt in Sweetbitter

Best Guest Actress (Drama)

Jodi Balfour in The Crown

Donatella Finocchiaro in Trust

Marlee Matlin in The Magicians

Lily Rabe in Legion

Diana Rigg in Game of Thrones

Mageina Tovah in The Magicians

Here’s What Won At The Emmys Last Night!

Posted on September 18, 2017 by Doc Bowman

Last night, Lisa Marie did not watch the Emmys because she says that, “I’m just not feeling TV this year.” If Twin Peaks had been eligible to be nominated, I bet it would have been a different story!

Instead, she asked me to watch the ceremony and let everyone know what I thought. It needed less politics and more cats.

Here’s the list of winners:

COMEDY

BEST COMEDY SERIES
“Atlanta”
“Black-ish”
“Masters of None”
“Modern Family”
“Silicon Valley”
“Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt”
X — “Veep”

BEST COMEDY ACTRESS
Pamela Adlon, “Better Things”
Jane Fonda, “Grace and Frankie”
Allison Janney, “Mom”
Ellie Kemper, “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt”
X — Julia Louis-Dreyfus, “Veep”
Tracee Ellis Ross, “Black-ish”
Lily Tomlin, “Grace and Frankie”

BEST COMEDY ACTOR
Anthony Anderson, “Black-ish”
Aziz Ansari, “Master of None”
Zach Galifianaks, “Baskets”
X — Donald Glover, “Atlanta”
William H. Macy, “Shameless”
Jeffrey Tambor, “Transparent”

BEST COMEDY SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Vanessa Bayer, “Saturday Night Live”
Anna Chlumsky, “Veep”
Kathryn Hahn, “Transparent”
Leslie Jones, “Saturday Night Live”
Judith Light, “Transparent”
X — Kate McKinnon, “Saturday Night Live”

BEST COMEDY SUPPORTING ACTOR
Louie Anderson, “Baskets”
X — Alec Baldwin, “Saturday Night Live”
Tituss Burgess, “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt”
Ty Burrell, “Modern Family”
Tony Hale, “Veep”
Matt Walsh, “Veep”

BEST COMEDY DIRECTING
X — “Atlanta” (“B.A.N.”)
“Silicon Valley” (“Intellectual Property”)
“Silicon Valley” (“Server Error”)
“Veep” (“Justice”)
“Veep” (“Blurb”)
“Veep” (“Groundbreaking”)

BEST COMEDY WRITING
“Atlanta” (“B.A.N.”)
“Atlanta” (“Streets on Lock”)
X — “Master of None” (“Thanksgiving”)
“Silicon Valley” (“Success Failure”)
“Veep” (“Groundbreaking”)
“Veep” (“Georgia”)

DRAMA

BEST DRAMA SERIES
“Better Call Saul”
“The Crown”
X — “The Handmaid’s Tale”
“House of Cards”
“Stranger Things”
“This is Us”
“Westworld”

BEST DRAMA ACTRESS
Viola Davis, “How to Get Away with Murder”
Claire Foy, “The Crown”
X — Elisabeth Moss, “The Handmaid’s Tale”
Keri Russell, “The Americans”
Evan Rachel Wood, “Westworld”
Robin Wright, “House of Cards”

BEST DRAMA ACTOR
X — Sterling K. Brown, “This is Us”
Anthony Hopkins, “Westworld”
Bob Odenkirk, “Better Call Saul”
Matthew Rhys, “The Americans”
Liev Schreiber, “Ray Donovan”
Kevin Spacey, “House of Cards”
Milo Ventimiglia, “This is Us”

BEST DRAMA SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Uzo Aduba, “Orange is the New Black”
Millie Bobby Brown, “Stranger Things”
X — Ann Dowd, “The Handmaid’s Tale”
Chrissy Metz, “This is Us”
Thandie Newton, “Westworld”
Samira Wiley, “The Handmaid’s Tale”

BEST DRAMA SUPPORTING ACTOR
Jonathan Banks, “Better Call Saul”
David Harbour, “Stranger Things”
Ron Cephas Jones, “This is Us”
Michael Kelly, “House of Cards”
X — John Lithgow, “The Crown”
Mandy Patinkin, “Homeland”
Jeffrey Wright, “Westworld”

BEST DRAMA DIRECTING
“Better Call Saul” (“Witness”)
“The Crown” (“Hyde Park Corner”)
“The Handmaid’s Tale” (“The Bridge”)
X — “The Handmaid’s Tale” (“Offred”)
“Homeland” (“America First”)
“Stranger Things” (“Chapter One: The Vanishing of Will Byers”)
“Westworld” (“The Bicameral Mind”)

BEST DRAMA WRITING
“The Americans” (“The Soviet Division”)
“Better Call Saul” (“Chicanery”)
“The Crown” (“Assassins”)
X — “The Handmaid’s Tale” (“Offred”)
“Stranger Things” (“Chapter One: The Vanishing of Will Byers”)
“Westworld” (“The Bicameral Mind”)

MOVIE/LIMITED SERIES

BEST LIMITED SERIES
X — “Big Little Lies”
“Fargo”
“Feud: Bette and Joan”
“Genius”
“The Night Of”

BEST TV MOVIE
X — “Black Mirror: San Junipero”
“Christmas of Many Colors”
“The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks”
“Sherlock: The Lying Detective”
“The Wizard of Lies”

BEST MOVIE/MINI ACTRESS
Carrie Coon, “Fargo”
Felicity Huffman, “American Crime”
X — Nicole Kidman, “Big Little Lies”
Jessica Lange, “Feud: Bette and Joan”
Susan Sarandon, “Feud: Bette and Joan”
Reese Witherspoon, “Big Little Lies”

BEST MOVIE/MINI ACTOR
X — Riz Ahmed, “The Night Of”
Benedict Cumberbatch, “Sherlock: The Lying Detective”
Robert De Niro, “The Wizard of Lies”
Ewan McGregor, “Fargo”
Geoffrey Rush, “Genius”
John Turturro, “The Night Of”

BEST MOVIE/MINI SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Judy Davis, “Feud: Bette and Joan”
X — Laura Dern, “Big Little Lies”
Jackie Hoffman, “Feud: Bette and Joan”
Regina King, “American Crime”
Michelle Pfeiffer, “The Wizard of Lies”
Shailene Woodley, “Big Little Lies”

BEST MOVIE/MINI SUPPORTING ACTOR
Bill Camp, “The Night Of”
Alfred Molina, “Feud: Bette and Joan”
X — Alexander Skarsgard, “Big Little Lies”
David Thewlis, “Fargo”
Stanley Tucci, “Feud: Bette and Joan”
Michael Kenneth Williams, “The Night Of”

BEST MOVIE/MINI DIRECTING
X — “Big Little Lies”
“Fargo” (“The Law of Vacant Places”)
“Feud: Bette and Joan” (“And the Winner Is”)
“Genius” (“Einstein: Chapter One”)
“The Night Of” (“The Art of War”)
“The Night Of” (“The Beach”)

BEST MOVIE/MINI WRITING
“Big Little Lies”
X — “Black Mirror: San Junipero”
“Fargo” (“The Law of Vacant Places”)
“Feud: Bette and Joan” (“And the Winner Is”)
“Feud: Bette and Joan” (“Pilot”)
“The Night Of” (“Call of the Wild”)

VARIETY/REALITY

BEST REALITY COMPETITION PROGRAM
“The Amazing Race”
“Amercan Ninja Warrior”
“Project Runway”
“RuPaul’s Drag Race”
“Top Chef”
X — “The Voice”

BEST VARIETY TALK SERIES
“Full Frontal with Samantha Bee”
“Jimmy Kimmel Live”
X — “Last Week Tonight with John Oliver”
“Late Late Show with James Corden”
“Late Show with Stephen Colbert”
“Real Time with Bill Maher”

BEST VARIETY SKETCH SERIES
“Billy on the Street”
“Documentary Now”
“Drunk History”
“Portlandia”
X — “Saturday Night Live”
“Tracey Ullman’s Show”

BEST VARIETY SERIES DIRECTING
“Drunk History”
“Jimmy Kimmel Live”
“Last Week Tonight with John Oliver”
“Late Show with Stephen Colbert”
X — “Saturday Night Live”

BEST VARIETY SERIES WRITING
“Full Frontal with Samantha Bee”
X — “Last Week Tonight with John Oliver”
“Late Night with Seth Meyers”
“Late Show with Stephen Colbert

20 Good Things That I Saw On Television in 2013

Posted on January 4, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Someday, I want to have my own tv network. I’ll call it Lisa Marie Television (or LMTV for short) and it’ll be like Lifetime but with the Lisa Marie difference. What’s the Lisa Marie difference? Sweetheart, if you have to ask, you’ll never know.

Anyway, as I wait for that day to come, I’m going to continue my series of posts on my favorites of 2013 by telling you about some of the best things that I saw on television over the course of the previous year. Here they are, in random order:

1) The series finale of Breaking Bad

Perfection.

2) The series finale of The Office

After a rough couple of seasons, The Office redeemed itself with a perfect conclusion. How can you do any better than Jim and Pam moving to Texas?

3) Children’s Hospital on Adult Swim

Without a doubt, the funniest 15 minutes on television.

4) Burning Love on E!

E! broadcast episodes of the hilarious, Bachelor-parodying web series in 2013 and gave everyone a chance to follow Julie as she pined for Blaze and asked lucky bachelors, “Will you hold my box?”

5) SyFy Saturdays

This year, my Saturday night ritual was to gather online with the Snarkalecs and watch an original movie on SyFy. And while all of the Normals (as we refer to the rest of the world) were going crazy over Sharknado, the Snarkalecs knew that End of the World was a hundred times better.

6) The only likable team won The Amazing Race 23

I can’t remember their names but I can remember that I liked them more than Tim & Marie, Nicole & Travis, and Leo & Jamal.

7) Bonnie and Clyde

Broadcast on three different networks and over two separate nights, Bonnie and Clyde was big, silly, over-the-top, glamorous, and full of style. It made me want to go out and rob a bank while looking good doing it.

8) Orange is the New Black

We lost a lot of good shows in 2013 but, fortunately, we also gained a few new ones.

9) South Park satirizes Obama and Game of Thrones

I like one of those targets and dislike the other (guess which is which) but the important thing is that both of them have reached a point where they deserve to be satirized. Not surprisingly, South Park continues to be one of the few show to have the guts to ridicule the topics that other shows are too cowardly to touch.

10) Bates Motel

Bates Motel was frequently uneven but it was always worth watching for Vera Farmiga and Max Thieriot.

11) The Space Kitten

That little space kitten that was singing Wrecking Ball at the American Music Awards? Adorable!

12) Jimmy Kimmel

Whether he was causing Kanye West to have a meltdown or posting fake videos on YouTube, 2013 was the year of Kimmel.

13) The Talking Dead

Look, we all know that The Walking Dead is great but, for me, The Talking Dead is usually the highlight of AMC on Sunday night. Chris Hardwick is adorable to begin with but the moment he choked up while discussing the death of Herschel confirmed that he’s not just a host. He’s a true fan as well.

14) Miley Cyrus at the VMAs

It was tacky, it was shocking, it was disturbing, it got people talking and overreacting, and it was everything that television should be. (That said, I would like to point out that — despite what some members of the media seem to believe — twerking existed long before Miley Cyrus decided to make it a part of her act. I was twerking back when Miley was still Hannah Montana.)

15) That episode of Girls with Patrick Wilson

One of the best 25 minutes of television ever, and not just because Patrick Wilson is super hot.

16) The Herstory of Dance and Intro to Felt Surrogacy episodes of Community

Without the guiding vision of Dan Harmon, Community‘s fourth season was undeniably rough. However, these two episodes reminded us that Community still had something to offer. (That said, I’m glad Dan Harmon’s back for season 5…)

17) Colton walks off Survivor …. again

Colton Cumbie is one of the most loathsome people to ever show up on a reality TV show so it was satisfying to see him utterly fail to win Survivor not once but twice.

18) The Big Brother Blog got a new writer named Lisa Marie

This year, Bill Lage asked me to write episode recaps for the Big Brother Blog. Of course, I said yes and, for three months, I had a lot of fun keeping people updated with what all of the loathsome people in the Big Brother house were up to. I made a lot of new friends and I even made a persistent enemy named Maggie Long, a poor little internet troll who just couldn’t handle the fact that I encouraged my readers to “Stay supple!” It was a lot of fun and I look forward to doing it all over again in 2014.

19) Winter Storm Cleon caused the local news people to freak out!

Yes, we did get some snow and ice down here in December. Unlike you folks up North, those of us in Texas only see snow and ice every other year so, whenever it does show up, you can be sure that all of the local newspeople are going to panic. That’s exactly what happened this year and it was fun to watch.

20) Degrassi!

My favorite Canadian show came back!