Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.12 “A New Woman”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

Let’s celebrate Christmas early with Monsters!

Episode 3.12 “A New Woman”

(Dir by Brian Thomas Jones, originally aired on December 16th, 1990)

It’s the day before Christmas and businessman Tom (Thomas McDermott) is dying.  His wife, Jessica (Linda Thorson), want him to sign over the deed for several building that he owns so that she can kick out everyone who isn’t paying their rent.  His son (Dan Butler) thinks that is an inhumane thing to do on Christmas.  Tom’s doctor (Mason Adams) informs Jessica that she will be visited by three spirits that will help her change her ways….

And indeed, she is!  But these aren’t the ghosts that Charles Dickens made famous.  Instead, they’re horrifying zombies that are being led by Tom’s vengeful spirit.  That’s enough to scare Jessica into changing her ways.  She doesn’t want to become a zombie!  Who would?  It’s a Merry Christmas for all!

Monsters’s take on A Christmas Carol actually isn’t bad.  It takes a while to get going but the zombies are effectively frightening and Jessica’s terrifying night is full of ominous atmosphere and effective scares.  I guess my main problem with this episode was that the pacing was odd.  It seemed to take forever to get around to that doctor telling Jessica she would receive visitors from the other side.  And when the visitors did arrive, it was effective but it still felt a bit rushed.

Still, it was nice to see Monsters not only do a Christmas episode but also, in a rarity for this show, one that had a happy ending.

SHANE (The TV Series) – Episode 12: The Silent Gift (originally aired November 26th, 1966)


Episode 12 opens with Shane (David Carradine) and Rufe Ryker (Bert Freed) looking over a beautiful Appaloosa colt. Shane wants to buy it for Joey (Christopher Shea) and offers Ryker $50. Ryker gets a good laugh at that, but he does make Shane a counteroffer: if Shane will work at his cattle ranch for one month, he’ll then let Shane have the colt for $50. Shane doesn’t really want to do it, but it’s important to him to get Joey the colt, so he agrees. Ryker allows Shane to go ahead and take the colt to the Starett ranch and give him to Joey. Of course, Joey is ecstatic and can’t wait to start taking care of him. Marian Starett (Jill Ireland) isn’t that happy with Shane about the deal to work for Ryker for a month, but it’s soon clear that no amount of protesting from her will stop Shane from doing this for Joey. 

The next day Shane is moving into Ryker’s bunkhouse for the month, and we begin getting a feel for the various men working for Ryker. The foreman Kyle (Jack Ging) immediately takes a disliking for Shane for no particular reason other than jealousy, I guess. He’s a real jerk, and he seems to have some kind of inferiority complex. In more modern times, it seems possible that Kyle might drive a big truck with swinging testicles attached to the trailer hitch. We also meet Jingles (J. Pat O’Malley), an older man who the other cowboys pick on for sport. He takes it because he doesn’t want to ruffle any feathers or get turned out by Ryker. Jingles tells Shane that this job is the only thing he has in life, and he doesn’t know what he’d do if he were to lose it. That night Ryker comes into the bunkhouse and tells Shane that there will be no fighting, and that if he puts his hands on one of his men, he’ll be fired and the deal for the colt is off. Shane just wants to keep his head down and work out his month and then get back to his life at the Starett ranch. Even though Shane works extremely hard and proves to be a good “hand,” it becomes clear that foreman Kyle is going to do everything he can to make his life a living hell. Will Shane be able to finish out a month at Ryker’s place and pay for Joey’s gift? Will Jingles tell the truth when Kyle picks a fight with Shane? Will Joey learn valuable lessons in life from the colt? Will Marian admit to Shane how much she misses him when he’s gone? All good questions: episode 12 has the answers! 

While it may be a slight step down from the sheer awesomeness of the prior installment, episode 12, “The Silent Gift,” is another fine episode of the Shane TV series. I mention the name of the episode because its use of the word “silent” captures part of what I enjoy so much about the series. Shane doesn’t say a lot throughout the entire series, but he continuously lets his actions prove out who he is as a person. In this case, his love for Joey is on full display because of what he does for him in this episode. Now don’t get me wrong, words are important, and I still tell my wife and children that I love them daily. But words are hollow if they’re not backed up by actions. Shane always backs up his words. Shane’s motives are the antithesis of a person like the foreman Kyle, who’s outwardly all bluster and bravado, but whose actions are fueled completely by lies and deceit. The character of Jingles, who seems like a nice enough old guy, is also shown to be in sharp contrast to Shane. Jingle’s life is controlled by fear and his actions are all about self-preservation. The sad truth is the fact that there are a lot more Kyle’s and Jingle’s in this world than there are Shane’s. On a positive note, the character arc of Jingles ultimately gives us hope that it’s never too late for any of us to do the right thing. 

The main guest stars in this episode, Jack Ging and J. Pat O’Malley, both caught my attention. Ging, who played foreman Kyle, looked very familiar to me. A look at his filmography shows he was the dad in WHERE THE RED FERN GROWS (1974) and appeared in three different Clint Eastwood films a few years after appearing in this episode. One of the first books I remember reading purely for pleasure was “Where the Red Fern Grows.” I loved it so much and watched the movie many times growing up. To be honest, I haven’t thought about it for years, but now I’m hankering for a rewatch. And O’Malley, who played Jingles, also has an interesting filmography. He provided voiceover work for many classic animated films like ONE HUNDRED AND ONE DALMATIONS (1961) and THE JUNGLE BOOK (1967). And what really amazes me is the fact that he voiced characters in Disney’s “Pirates of the Caribbean” attraction, including one of the prisoners coaxing the dog with the keys in his mouth. When you’ve been to Disney World as many times as I have, I now see O’Malley as a rock star! 

Shane’s relationship with Marian has one really good moment in this episode. When Shane is visiting the Starett ranch one night, Marian tells him how much they miss him, how much SHE misses him, when he’s gone. I believe she would have been open to a big kiss if Shane would have gone for it, but instead he just said “that’s nice to hear” before saying goodnight. Here’s one time I don’t agree with the action Shane takes. With only five more episodes to go, the romantic in me is still hoping for a big-time payoff in love! 

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.20 and 5.21 “The Musical/My Ex-Mom/The Show Must Go On/The Pest/My Aunt, the Worrier”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

It’s time to set sail for adventure, your mind on a new romance.  The Love Boat promises something for everyone so welcome aboard …. it’s love!

Episode 5.20 and 5.21 “The Musical/My Ex-Mom/The Show Must Go On/The Pest/My Aunt, the Worrier”

(Dir by Roger Duchowny, originally aired on February 27th, 1982)

I tried, everyone.  Seriously, I really did try.

This week’s episode was a musical.  It’s not just that the crew of the Love Boat was putting together their first annual crew talent show.  It’s not just that Ethel Merman appeared as Gopher’s mom while Carol Channing played Julie’s aunt and Della Reese played Isaac’s mom while Ann Miller showed up as Doc’s former mother-in-law.  All of that was fine.  The episode was called The Musical and, looking at that guest list, I expected that the majority of this super-sized, two hour musical would feature the crew and their relatives rehearsing.  I was looking forward to it.  I’m a dancer.  Ann Miller’s one of my heroes.  Bring it on!

The problem was that the crew also sang and danced when they weren’t rehearsing.  Every few moments there was a big production number.  Some of them were entertaining.  Again, Ann Miller was there and I love watching her dance.  But most of the production numbers were pretty bad.  It quickly became obvious that the Love Boat crew was not made up of natural-born singers and dancers.  Fred Grandy tried really hard whenever he had to sing and he earnest dedication was charming but otherwise, most of the musical numbers fell flat.  Each number was followed by wild applause but, seeing as how The Love Boat was not shot in front of a live studio audience, it quickly became apparent that the applause — much like the laugh track — was being piped in.  Fake applause just made the whole thing feel …. not right.

I really wanted to like this episode but it just didn’t work for me.  If it had limited the singing and dancing to the talent show, it would have been fun.  But by turning the entire episode into a musical, it just became a bit too much, an experiment that ultimately didn’t work.

Do I sound like a feel guilty for not liking this episode?  Well, I guess I do.  Of all the shows that I review, The Love Boat is frequently my favorite and I really, really wanted to like this episode.  I could tell that the cast was doing their best.  I could tell that they probably had fun shooting this episode.  But, in the end, it just didn’t work.  I wanted it to work but it didn’t.

Oh well.  I applaud the show for experimenting, even if it didn’t quite come together.  Next week will be better!

A Preempted Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 3.13 “Second Chance”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

CHiPs got preempted this week, due to our Monday celebration of St. Patrick’s Day and Kurt Russell.  Here’s the late review of this week’s episode!

Episode 3.13 “Second Chance”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on December 1st, 1979)

Someone is breaking into the homes of rich people, stealing their jewelry, and then making a fast escape on a motorcycle.  I say “someone” but, actually, we know who it is because the show tells us early.  It’s a two-man operation.  One guy works as a valet parker at a trendy restaurant.  The other guy sits in his van until the first guy brings over the keys of whoever they’re going to rob.  We know it but the cops don’t know it so we still have to sit through Ponch and Baker investigating the robberies and somehow not figuring out what’s going on,  even though it’s extremely obvious.

So, the crimes weren’t that interesting this week.  This show was mostly about celebrating the local children’s hospital and, even more importantly, celebrating Ponch’s popularity at the local children’s hospital.  All the nurses love Ponch.  All the children love Ponch.  Only the recently paralyzed Kelli (Dana Laurita) is immune to Ponch’s charms but he wins her over eventually.  Given the way this show treated Ponch, I’m surprised he didn’t magically heal her.

In other words, this is another episode in which Baker does a lot of work and Ponch gets all the credit.  There are a few exciting chases, as there were with every episode of CHiPs.  Whatever else you may want to say about the show, it’s obvious that the producers understood that people were watching for the high-speed pursuits and the crashes.  This episode even features Ponch on a boat.  The bad guys can’t even swim away to safety!  Of course, it’s Ponch who got on the boat.  There’s no way that Baker was going to get do anything like that.  I’m surprised Ponch even needed a boat, to be honest.  If nothing else, Ponch should be able to walk on water by this point.

Anyway, it was an okay episode.  Ponch appears to be full recovered from his injuries from earlier in the season so watch out, bad guys!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.10 “Captive Audience”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

I’m a little bit late with this review but so what?  I mean, what’s Pacific Blue going to do?  Chase me on their bicycles?

Episode 1.10 “Captive Audience”

(Dir by Terrence O’Hara, originally aired on May 4th, 1996)

The local bank is being robbed!  The three robbers — desperate and murderous criminals all — have taken hostages, including TC and Cory.  TC just wanted to check out his safe deposit box.  Cory just wanted to withdraw some money so she could buy a motorcycle.  (If she had been withdrawing the money to buy another bicycle, I would have thrown a shoe at my television.)  TC is in uniform.  The robbers know he’s a cop.  Cory is not in uniform and she and TC are pretending not to know each other.  There’s also a pregnant woman in the bank who goes into labor, which means that Cory is going to have to get over her loathing of babies to help deliver one!

*Sigh*

I think I’ve said before that I hate cop shows that feature people being held hostage.  It’s always the same thing.  The robbers threaten a lot of people.  The hostages get beaten and abused.  Outside the bank, the negotiator says, “You have to give me more time!”  On Pacific Blue, the negotiator is Captain Palermo and there’s something just silly about him, in his shorts and crisp polo shirt, directing a bunch of rough-and-ready SWAT team members who are in protective gear.  Hostage situations are serious and potentially deadly but Palermo chasing the robbers are on his bicycle just made me laugh and laugh.  I also laughed when the SWAT team first arrived at the bank and spotted Cory and TC’s bicycles sitting outside the building.  “There might be cops in there,” someone says.  Apparently, they’re unsure about whether or not bike cops should be considered real police or not.  I’m glad I’m not the only one.

It falls to Del Toro and Chris to track down Doc Mueller (Charley Lang), a paranoid electronics expert who lives in a tent on the beach.  He agreed to help disable the bank’s alarm so that the SWAT team can sneak inside.  He also taps into the head robber’s “cellular phone” so that the cops can see who he is working with on the outside.  Shows from the 90s are always amusing because everyone’s always like, “He’s got a cellular phone!”  In 1996, those were still unusual and only used by desperate bank robbers.

(On a positive note, one of the robbers is played by a handsome young actor named Walton Goggins.  What ever happened to him?  Seriously, there’s not much about his performance here that indicates the type of actor he would become but still …. WALTON GOGGINS!)

Everything works out, of course.  The main bank robber tries to escape in a helicopter but Palermo chases him — on his bike! — and manages to jump into the helicopter.  It would have been really impressive if not for the bicycle and the fact that the Pacific Blue uniforms — those shorts and those blindingly white shirts — make all of the characters look really silly.  It’s hard to take a cop seriously when he’s dressed like an aging track coach.  The important thing, though, is that Cory gets over her hatred of babies and Palermo shows that bike cops deserve as much respect as real cops.

Eh.  Who cares?

 

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.9 “Naughty Marietta/The Winning Ticket”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, Tattoo’s rich!

Episode 6.9 “Naughty Marietta/The Winning Ticket”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired January 8th, 1983)

Let’s get the boring storyline out of the way first.

Overbearing Beatrice Solomon (Jayne Meadows) wants her daughter, Alison (Dorothy Hamill) to become an actress.  Beatrice’s husband (David Doyle) wishes that Beatrice would just back off.  Mr. Roarke sends Alison into the past, where Alison finds herself transformed into Marietta, the subject of the operetta Naughty Marietta.  Lorenzo Lamas plays Captain Richard Warrington, who is trying to track down a notorious pirate on behalf of the Governor of Louisiana (James Doohan).  There’s a lot of singing and the costumes are nice but it’s also kind of boring because ice skater Dorothy Hamill was a terrible actress and she has next to no chemistry with Lorenzo Lamas.  The fantasy ends with everyone brought back to the present, including Lamas who, it turns out, was actually just a guest having a fantasy of his own.  It’s nothing we haven’t seen before and I don’t want to talk to much about it because the other story is …. A TATTOO STORY!

After years of being the sidekick and Mr. Roarke’s enigmatic frenemy, Tattoo finally gets a story of his own.  When Margaret Stanton (Hope Lange) comes to the Island to award a check to an employee who won the Irish Sweepstakes, Roarke is saddened to inform her that the man, a groundskeeper named Ambrose, passed away shortly after winning.  Roarke assigns Tattoo to find out who Ambrose’s closest friend was on the Island.  Tattoo takes his job seriously.  Afterall, Tattoo was one of the few people who regularly checked on the curmudgeonly old man, always stopping by to talk and to make sure that he was feeling okay.  As a matter of fact, you could even say that Tattoo was a true friend to the old man.  In the end, he was truly the old man’s best friend….

OH MY GOD, TATTOO’S RICH!

After reading the deceased man’s diary, Roarke and Tattoo realize that Ambrose would have wanted Tattoo to have the money.  Tattoo now has a million dollars and Roarke decides that this means that Tattoo is now a guest at Fantasy Island.  Tattoo moves into the most spectacular guest bungalow.  Tattoo orders a fancy meal and leaves a huge tip.  Tattoo is having a wonderful time until Mr. Roarke informs him that guests are not allowed to live on the Island….

WAIT, WHAT!?

Okay, first off, it wasn’t Tattoo’s idea to be a guest.  It was Roarke’s idea.  Roarke also mentions that Tattoo is the one who came up with the idea of not allowing guests to live on the Island but, over the past few seasons, we’ve seen many guests decide to never leave the Island and Roarke has never had a problem with it!  Seriously, I thought Tattoo and Mr. Roarke were finally getting along.  Suddenly, it seems like Mr. Roarke has decided to kick him out.  “I will miss you,” Mr. Roarke says.  Well, then don’t make him leave!  Can’t Mr. Roarke do whatever he feels like doing?

Tattoo, for his part, says that he will miss being on the Island.  He’ll miss Mr. Roarke.  He’ll miss the rest of the staff.  He’ll miss everything.  Tattoo decides that rather than leave the Island, he’ll donate the money to build a retirement home in England.  And that’s nice and all but I still don’t understand why Tattoo would have had to leave in the first place.  Maybe Mr. Roarke just wanted to teach Tattoo about generosity but Tattoo is already extremely generous.

As the show ends, Mr. Roarke mentions that Tattoo still needs to pay for his stay in the bungalow and for all the food he ordered.  DON’T START, MR. ROARKE!

This was a weird episode but it was still nice to see Tattoo get his moment in the spotlight.  I still think he should have allowed to keep the money and stay on the Island.  I mean, seriously, this Island is full of eccentric rich people living in haunted mansions.  Why should Tattoo miss out on all the fun?

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.21 “Knock Knock …. Who’s There?”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, the one hand doesn’t know what the other one is doing.  That’s life in Miami.,

Episode 3.21 “Knock Knock …. Who’s There?”

(Dir by Tony Wharmby, originally aired on March 27th, 1987)

An drug buy that Crockett and Tubbs (as Burnett and Cooper) set up with Esteban Montoyo (a miscast Ian McShane), falls apart when a group of DEA agents show up.  Or, at least, they say that they’re DEA agents.  Oddly, they just take the money and the drugs and then leave, saying that Miami metro will take care of the rest.

It quickly becomes apparent that the DEA agents were fake but Crockett and Tubbs have no way to confirm that because the DEA refuses to share any information about their activities with the Vice Squad.  Even though the DEA and detectives are all after the same people and are supposedly soldiers in the same war, they don’t trust each other and they don’t share information.  Meanwhile, Internal Affairs is convinced that Crockett and Tubbs stole the money and the drugs for themselves and are determined to prove it.  Apparently, it doesn’t matter that Crockett and Tubbs have killed a variety of different drug lords over the past three seasons.  No one in Miami trusts anyone!

As for the fake DEA busts, they’re being set up by an agent named Linda Colby (Elizabeth Ashley).  Linda’s husband (Jimmie Ray Weeks) is a former agent who is now in a wheelchair and who is a friend of Crockett’s.  Their son is in the hospital, fighting for his life.  Linda’s crimes are helping her to pay for his treatment.  It’s not greed that motivates her, or at least greed isn’t the only thing.  She’s also motivated by love.

Of course, in the end, she still gets shot during a showdown between Crockett, Tubbs, and Montoya.  Unlike the majority of Miami Vice‘s guest stars, Linda survives being shot.  But, as she’s lying on the stretcher, Crockett has to arrest her.  Linda says that Crockett would have done the same thing for his son.  With tears in his eyes, Crockett proceeds to recite Linda’s Miranda rights.  Though Crockett doesn’t say it, he knows that she’s right but he’s also a cop and he has no choice but to arrest her.  Now, her son will no longer receive medical treatment and his mother is going to be in jail.  Wow, Miami Vice, depressing much?

Of course, happy endings were a rarity on Miami Vice.  That was one of the show’s strengths.  No one ever got a truly happy ending.  Every drug lord that Crockett and Tubbs took down would be replaced by someone else.  Anyone who ever tried to help usually fell victim to a bullet.  People like Linda did things for desperate reasons and paid the price, all in the service of an unwinnable war.

This episode was uneven.  Ian McShane was not a particularly interesting villain and Crockett getting his cover blown happens so frequently that it’s no longer a shock.  But that final scene definitely packed a punch.  Never have the Miranda rights sounded so hollow.

Next week …. it’s Crockett and Tubbs vs. a motorcycle gang!  We’ll see what happens.  It can’t be any more depressing than this episode.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi High 1.14 “It Creeps!”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1989 to 1991!  The series can be streamed on YouTube!

Wake up in the morning, it’s time to make a feminist slasher film….

Episode 1.14 “It Creeps!”

(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on February 6th, 1990)

Shane’s back!

We haven’t seen Shane since he showed up at the last junior high dance.  Shane, of course, is the ex-boyfriend of Spike and the wayward father of Emma.  Shane took LSD while at a concert and either jumped or fell off a bridge.  When we see him in this episode, he’s suffering from brain damage.  One minute, he’s greeting Spike like his best friend.  Another minute, he’s yelling at her and suddenly acting aggressive.  Spike still tries to be nice to him, despite Liz’s comment of “He’s creepy.”  (Seriously, what is going with Liz this season?)  What’s really disturbing, though, is that Shane’s only close friend still appears to be Luke, the idiot who gave him the acid in the first place.

(Seriously, how did Luke get away with that?)

That was the B-plot of this episode.  The A-plot featured Lucy finally making her feminist horror film, It Creeps!!, for her creative writing class.  Personally, I like the idea behind It Creeps!!  It’s a slasher movie where, for once, it’s the guys getting knifed in the shower instead of the girls.  It’s the type of thing that would get Lucy a deal with Blumhouse today.  I’m a little bit surprised that she was able to get away with making it for a school project but I guess that 80s were a more innocent time.  If a student shot a bloody slasher film in her school today, she’d probably be suspended.

Lucy shows her film to the class and is shocked when they laugh at certain parts.  She runs out the room but her creative writing teacher assures her that class is enjoying her film.  He tells her that she did a good job, considering that it was her first film.  (It’s a hundred times better than Michael Scott’s Threat Level Midnight.)  Lucy returns to the classroom, just in time to find everyone cheering as Wheels dies on screen.

Of course, those of us who know our Degrassi history, know how this is going to turn out.  After graduation, Wheels is going to be driving drunk and he’s going to have the accident that will not only send him to prison but will also leave Lucy crippled and temporarily blinded.  Seriously, this show is a lot darker if you already know what’s going to happen in School’s Out!

As for this episode, it was a good one.  The plot with Lucy’s film worked because the end result actually looked like something that had been filmed by a moderately talented teenager who owned a somewhat beat-up video camera.  And I was glad that the show remembered that Shane existed.  Amanda Stepto did a wonderful job portraying Spike’s reaction to seeing Shane.  This was Degrassi High at its best.

Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 3.6 “A Model Citizen”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC!  It  can be viewed on Peacock.

No one’s happy this week.

Episode 3.6 “A Model Citizen”

(Dir by John McNaughton, originally aired on November 11th, 1994)

Welcome to Baltimore, where everyone is depressed.  Consider this week’s episode of Homicide: Life On The Street.

  1. The episode opens with Munch, Bolander, Howard, and Felton in a morgue, waiting for the results of an autopsy.  They start talking about the shows that they watched as children and how many of them had their origins right in Baltimore.  Of course, none of those shows are on the air anymore.  Munch mentions his favorite childhood shows and is ridiculed for liking things when he was a kid.
  2. Emma Zoole (Lauren Tom), an artist who makes models of crime scenes for use in criminal court, stops by the department.  She’s looking for Steve Crosetti, to get his input on a recreation.  Meldrick Lewis tells her that Crosetti’s dead but he offers to help.  Lewis has a crush.  However, Emma likes Bayliss and Bayliss likes Emma.  Bayliss is even turned on by the fact that Emma sleeps in a coffin.  However, when Bayliss sees how upset Lewis is over his relationship with Emma, Bayliss tries to break up with her.  They end up having sex in the coffin instead.
  3. That’s it!, Lewis declares.  He cannot go into the bar business with Tim Bayliss.  Then again, there might not be a bar business anyway because Munch got kicked out of the state-required alcohol awareness class.  Munch, for whatever reason, decided to argue about whether or not a bartender could really be held responsible for getting someone drunk.
  4. Pembleton, Russert, and the city of Baltimore are all being sued by serial killer Pamela Wilgis.  Wilgis claims that Pembleton violated her civil rights when he interrogated her.  Pembleton’s entire interrogation style is put on trial.  He feels like he’s being attacked on all sides.  Finally, Pembleton gets depressed enough to reenter a church, even though he earlier claimed to no longer have any use for religion.
  5. Munch and Howard investigate the accidental shooting of a child by his older brother.  Much gets extremely upset while searching for the gun, taking Howard totally be surprise.  Howard comes to realize that Much actually cares about protecting children from violence and Munch realizes that the world is a terrible place.
  6. Beau Felton returns to his house and discovers that both his wife and his son have left and they’ve taken all the furniture with them.  Goodbye is scrawled, in lipstick, on the bathroom mirror.
  7. Much ends up sitting outside, staring at the ground while Lewis and then Howard both talk to him about how much life sucks.
  8. No one wants to end up like Steve Crosetti, Howard says at one point.  Good luck!  This job is depressing!

This was a good episode, one that really captured the emotional turmoil of seeing the worse that humanity has to offer while, at the same time, acknowledging that depressed people often use humor to deal with their feelings.  A few of Munch’s and Lewis’s line made me laugh out loud but seriously, I felt so bad for both of them!

Hopefully, everyone will have cheered up by next week.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out! 3.10 “Shrink from Sendrax”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and Peacock!

This week, corporate sends a visitor to Cobb’s for reasons that are never exactly clear.

Episode 3.10 “Shrink From Sendrax”

(Dir by Jayne Schipper, originally aired on November 15th, 1987)

I’m just going to do a mini-review of this episode because I’m busy working on our big St. Patrick’s Day extravaganza here at the Shattered Lens!

  1. Remember that new company that bought out Cobb’s?  It can be easy to forget about them.  Well, in this episode, they send a psychiatrist named Dr. Matthews (Graham Harley) to check on everyone’s mental health.  Why would they do that?  I mean, is Cobb’s grocery store really that important to them?  It seems like a lot of money to spend on checking whether or not the cashiers are feeling good about themselves.
  2. Admittedly, I haven’t had that many jobs and I’ve never worked in a grocery store.  If you told me that I had no choice but to sit down and talk about my life with a psychiatrist as a condition of my employment, I would probably quit.  It’s not that I have anything against psychiatrists.  It’s just that I believe therapy should always be voluntary.
  3. The episode’s highlight was Leslie wanting to spend hours talking to the psychiatrist about the party that was thrown when he turned two years old.  Aaron Schwartz, who is often underused on this show, really got a chance to show off his comedic skills in this episode.
  4. Gordon Clapp’s Viker also got a few good scenes.  In general, any episode that features Clapp is, at the very least, going to make me smile.
  5. Howard freaks out over the psychiatrist and the questionnaire that he’s forced to fill out.  He gets some advice from 14 year-old stockboy Brad, played by T and T‘s Sean Roberge.  This is Brad’s third appearance on the show and I get the feeling that he was originally meant to be a major character but the show’s writers couldn’t figure out what to do with the character.
  6. This third season has had a lot of weird detours and characters.  We haven’t heard anything else about Howard’s brother.  The corporate liaison, TC Collingwood (Elizabeth Hanna), is occasionally pictured in the opening credits and occasionally not.  What happened to the stockboy who had a crush on Marlene?
  7. Anyway, to prove that he’s not crazy, Howard dresses up like a clown because he knows that only way to prove he’s not crazy is to act crazy while realizing that he’s acting crazy or something.
  8. Marlene and Christian, the two most consistently interesting characters on the show, were not in this episode and that kind of made the whole psychiatry angle feel useless.  The idea of Marlene and Christian reacting to ink blots is such a good one that I personally would have delayed production on this episode until Kathleen Laskey and Jeff Pustil were available to appear in it.

Gordon Clapp and Aaron Schwartz were great but, overall, this was pretty dumb episode.