Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 2.8 “All About Eve”

Posted on July 25, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988. The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

This week, everyone’s got the blues.

Episode 2.8 “All About Eve”

(Dir by David Anspaugh, originally aired on December 14th, 1983)

What a depressing episode!

With tension rising between Boston’s Catholics and its Protestants, threats are being called into the hospital because young Protestant Eddie Carson (Eric Stoltz) is still a patient. (Last week, I assumed Eddie was Catholic but apparently, he’s supposed to be a Protestant. I also assumed his parents were blown up in the pub bombing. In this episode, it was made clear that the victims were his aunt and uncle.) A group of masked, IRA-style terrorists break into Joan Halloran’s home. Joan’s gone at the time but Bobby Caldwell is in the shower and he ends up getting beaten into unconsciousness.

(Wow, did someone on the writing staff have an issue with Irish Catholics?)

Meanwhile, Dr. Westphall has to explain to his several autistic son Tommy (Chad Allen) that their beloved housekeeper has quit and moved away. Westphall’s daughter says she’s going to skip college and stay home to help take care of her brother. While I’ve always known that the widowed Westphall had an autistic son, this was the first episode to actually show us Westphall interacting with Tommy. And, with no disrespect meant to the autistic community, I can understand why Westphall always seems so depressed. Tommy runs and hides in a corner. Tommy hits his father. Tommy demands to know if everyone is going to leave him. By the end of the episode, Westphall was exhausted and I was even more exhausted from watching him.

But Westphall’s angst was not the most depressing thing about this episode. On top of everything else, Eve Leighton died! She didn’t die as a result of the heart that Dr. Craig transplanted into her. The heart was working fine. Instead, the rest of Eve’s body gave out. Being in the hospital initially saved her life but it also shut her off from everything that inspired her to keep living. Dr. Craig was in surgery when Eve coded. By the time he was able to get to her room, she was already gone. And with Eve’s death, that also means that the heart that once belonged to Morrison’s wife is gone as well.

I mean, seriously …. GOOD LORD! It was a well-acted episode. Both William Daniels and Ed Flanders broke my heart. But I seriously had to rewatch Happy Gilmore after watching this show. That’s how depressed it left me!

But that’s life and death in a hospital. Every hospital is home to hundreds of different stories and the majority of them do not have happy endings.

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 2.2 “Lust Et Veritas”

Posted on June 13, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, St. Eligius gets a new plastic surgeon.

Episode 2.2 “Lust Et Veritas”

(Dir by Mark Tinker, originally aired on November 2nd, 1982)

This episode sees the addition of two new doctors to the hospital’s staff and they’re both played by familiar actors. Elliott Axlerod is played by Stephen Furst. He’s a new resident and obviously terrified of screwing up in the ER. He asks Ehrlich and Fiscus for advice. When told that he’s required to perform a rectal exam on every patient, he asks, “Is it too late to go to law school?” Ehrlich assures him that it is.

(It’s never too late!)

Secondly, Mark Harmon joins the cast as plastic surgeon Bobby Caldwell and not even a porn star mustache can obscure the fact that young Mark Harmon was amazingly hot. (Actually, old Mark Harmon isn’t that bad either. He aged well.) Bobby, we learn, was brought to St. Eligius by Dr. Craig. He’s cocky and confident and it’s obvious that he loves being lusted after by Dr. Armstrong and Nurse Daniels. However, he already has a secret lover as this episode finds him showering with Joan Halloran, the city hall bureaucrat who spends most of her time arguing with Dr. Craig about whether or not to shut down one of the hospital’s non-profit programs.

Dr. Craig is nervous because he’s waiting for a heart to become available so he can perform his first transplant on Eve Leighton (Marian Mercer), a teacher who wants to get back into her classroom as soon as possible. Ehrlich is nervous because Craig is taking all of his frustrations. and his nervousness out on him.

Meanwhile, Jerry Singleton (Alan Arkin), the demanding husband of stroke-victim Fran (Piper Laurie), continued to push his wife to recover until finally, at the end of the episode, she yelled that he was pushing her too hard. It was a heart-breaking moment. Jerry thinks that he’s helping his wife but, as this episode showed, he’s actually been torturing her with his overbearing demands that she hurry up and get better.

Finally, a former resident named Barry Dorn (Peter Horton) returns to the hospital to try to convince Dr. Cavanero to change her negative evaluation of his job performance. Everyone acts as if Barry was a character on the show during the previous season, even though he wasn’t. It’s even revealed that he is Wendy Armstrong’s former boyfriend. When Cavanero refuses to change her evaluation, Armstrong accuses her of not having any feelings. (Seriously, Armstrong is the worst!) Even worse, when Cavanero heads to the doctor’s lounge, she finds Barry waiting for her. Barry punches her, busting open her lower lip. Armstrong stitches up the cut and then says that Cavanero is lucky because now, she’ll have an excuse to meet Dr. Caldwell! Armstrong then offers a half-hearted apology for previously accusing Cavanero of being heartless. (Again, Armstrong is the worst!!!!)

This wasn’t a bad episode. Mark Harmon and Stephen Furst seem like they’ll be good additions to the show’s ensemble. The Barry story felt a bit odd, just because Barry was apparently present but 0ff-camera during the entire first season. It sounds like Barry went through a lot of the same things that Peter White went through during the first season and Peter was not present in this episode. There’s a part of me that suspects that Barry was originally meant to be Peter but the show’s producers obviously decided they wanted to keep Peter around for a bit longer.

Next week …. well, I have no idea how things are going to develop. There’s a lot going on in this hospital. We’ll see what happens.

SILENT RAGE – Revisiting the Chuck Norris film from my youth.

Posted on December 4, 2024 by Bradley Crain

SILENT RAGE is one of those movies that I watched quite a bit as a kid, and I thought it was pretty scary. Fox-16 out of Little Rock played it quite often. We didn’t have cable in Toad Suck so I’d watch whatever movies that were playing, especially if they had action. I’d say my initial interest and appreciation for Chuck Norris began with this film, and I still watch Chuck quite a bit to this day. With that said, I’m not sure I’ve watched SILENT RAGE again since I was a teenager. If I’m going to watch Chuck, I’ll generally watch CODE OF SILENCE, LONE WOLF MCQUADE, MISSING IN ACTION, INVASION USA, THE DELTA FORCE, or even FIREWALKER or HERO AND THE TERROR. But this week, I was browsing through Tubi and saw my childhood friend SILENT RAGE and decided to give it another spin.

SILENT RAGE opens in a wild household. John Kirby (Brian Libby) is awakened from his sleep by a kid wearing a Stormtrooper mask and shooting him with a laser gun. The kid tells Kirby he’s got a phone call. Kirby is clearly not doing well. He’s making strange sounds and his body movements are as funky as hell. Add to this situation, wild kids running around the house and a woman, who I’m guessing is their mom, screaming at them. To say this woman’s voice is annoying as she screams at the kids would possibly be my understatement of 2024. When Kirby answers the phone he tells the unseen doctor on the other end of the line, “I’m losin’ it, Doc! I’m not gonna make it” and he hangs up. I have to admit I’m understanding of Kirby at this point. I’ve only witnessed the activities of that house for a couple of minutes and I’m losin’ it! So in what seems like a reasonable move at the time, Kirby goes outside to the woodpile, grabs an axe, and then walks back into the house and confronts the loud lady. She immediately begins screaming in fear and runs upstairs and locks herself into the bedroom. Her fear scream is probably twice as annoying as her “screaming at kids” voice. Prior to Kirby chopping down the door with his axe, she’s able to scream out the window to a passing mailman for help. Soon after this message to the mailman, Kirby puts the lady, and the audience, out of our collective misery.

In what is possibly the fastest response time in law enforcement history, a blazer immediately pulls up front and sheriff Dan Stevens (Chuck Norris) emerges from the passenger side. From this point forward, I will disregard his character name and refer to him as Chuck Norris. Every other person will be referred to as their characters’ names. I thought Norris was cool in SILENT RAGE when I was a kid, and I must admit I still think he’s pretty awesome as he calmly walks into the house where John Kirby has just committed multiple murders. After a few minutes, Kirby attacks Norris. The two men scuffle, but Kirby is able to break free and jump out the upstairs window onto the ground and run into the woods. Norris follows and is immediately almost shot by his deputy, Charlie (Stephen Furst). Quick tangent – it may seem strange at first to think of Stephen Furst (Kent Dorfman from ANIMAL HOUSE) as Norris’ deputy, and after watching the film again, I’ll go ahead and agree that it is a strange choice. He basically plays a goofy guy who has no business in law enforcement and that is made abundantly clear throughout the film. Back to the woods we go where Norris, after barely escaping being shot in the head by Charlie, engages in an additional fight with Kirby. He’s able to subdue the murderer and handcuff him. Now in the back of the cop car, Kirby breaks out of his handcuffs, kicks open the door and begins attacking various men with guns. It’s at this point that he’s shot about 14 times. He should be dead at this point, but I do understand for the sake of running time, that there will be additional plot developments.

These additional plot developments arrive in the form of doctors operating on John Kirby to try to save his life. Fortunately, nature takes its course and Kirby dies, or so we think. It seems that Dr. Phillip Spires (Steven Keats) has a god complex and administers an experimental serum that brings Kirby back to life. Not only that, at the dosage he’s being given, it turns him into an indestructible killing machine. Dr. Tom Halman (Ron Silver) is the voice of reason who tries to convince Dr. Spires to let him die, but to no avail. Dr. Spires is doing this for science and mankind and secretly keeps Kirby alive with Doctor Paul Vaughn (William Finley). The two men think they can control him, but of course they’re wrong. Alive, and now superhuman, Kirby escapes to wreak havoc. And only one man can stop the indestructible, superhuman killing machine, and that man’s name is Chuck Norris.

Just a few additional thoughts before I close. First, Toni Kalem plays Chuck’s love interest, Alison, in the film. His relationship with her does slightly take away from his cool factor as they make love at one point to the cheesiest, corniest 80’s song called “A Time for Love.” She also has an extremely annoying scream voice herself when Kirby comes after her at the end. Second, the cool factor is almost completely restored when Chuck takes on a bar full of drunken, violent bikers and single-handedly destroys them. I think it’s nice of the 22 bikers to come at Chuck one at a time. It would have been a lot harder for him to take on 22 people diving on him at the same time. Third, I stated earlier that the power-crazed Dr. Phillip Spires was played by actor Steven Keats. For those who follow the film career of Charles Bronson like I do, you will immediately recognize Keats as the same actor who played Paul Kersey’s son-in-law in DEATH WISH. In SILENT RAGE he’s a narcissistic jerk, in DEATH WISH he’s a whiny wuss. That’s a solid 1-2 fist-punch of un-likability, Steven!!

I did enjoy the nostalgia factor of re-watching SILENT RAGE after many years. And Chuck Norris getting out of that blazer to go after John Kirby at the beginning of the film was still cool. There were a few things already mentioned above that bothered me more now than they did when I was a kid, but at the end of the day, Chuck Norris is still Chuck Norris. And I will always enjoy Chuck Norris!

Retro Television Review: Pigs vs. Freaks (dir by Dick Lowry)

Posted on February 11, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay. Today’s film is 1984’s Pigs vs. Freaks! It can be viewed on YouTube.

In the late 1960s, a small town is divided between the conservative older generation and their rebellious hippie children. Former high school football star Doug Zimmer (Patrick Swayze) has just returned from fighting in Vietnam and, unlike many of his former classmates, he is firmly on the side of the establishment. He wears his hair short. He has a job as a cop. He tries to keep his younger sister, Janice (Penny Peyser), from hanging out with hippies like his former best friend, Neal (Grant Goodeve).

Neal is also the son of the local police chief, Frank Brockmeyer (Eugene Roche). Though Frank and Neal have different political beliefs and Frank is always telling Neal to get a haircut, they still have a respectful relationship. When Neal complains that cops like Doug and his partner, Sgt. Cheever (Brian Dennehy), are always harassing the hippies who want to play football in park, Frank suggests a football game between the hippies and the police. When Neal agrees, the game becomes known as “Pigs vs. Freaks.”

While Frank coaches the Pigs and signs a few former athlete as police reservists, Neal recruits his former little league coach, a bearded guru who now goes by the name of Rambaba Organimus (Tony Randall) to serve as the Freak’s coach. He also places a call to a former football star named Mickey South (Adam Baldwin) and talks him into coming down from Canada to play in the game. Of course, Mickey is wanted by the FBI for dodging the draft so it might not seem like a great idea for him to risk federal prison for an exhibition football game but no matter! Who cares that there are now two federal agents watching the Freaks practice? There’s a game to be won!

Pigs vs. Freaks is an amiable mix of comedy and drama. Some of the comedy, like Tony Randall’s bearded guru and Stephen Furst’s perpetually frantic hippie linebacker, is a bit too broad but there’s enough moments of dramatic insight that it’s easy to overlook those flaws. I appreciated the fact that both the Freaks and the Pigs are treated fairly, with both sides getting a chance to make a case for themselves. When they first appear and start harassing the hippies for playing football in the park, it’s easy to dismiss both Doug and Cheever as fascists but a later scene, which is very well-played by both Brian Dennehy and Patrick Swayze, establishes them as just being two men who are confused by the direction of the world. Swayze, in particular, gives a strong performance that reveals the vulnerability underneath Doug’s tough exterior. As for the hippies, Mickey South is no self-righteous crusader but instead someone who feels the Vietnam War is wrong but who is also someone who both misses and loves his home country. Adam Baldwin does a wonderful playing him and is well-matched with Grant Goodeve, who plays the most reasonable hippie that one could hope to meet.

It’s a likable film and well-intentioned, a portrait of two opposing groups brought together by the love of one game. Some will cheer for the Pigs. Some will cheer for the Freaks. I cheered for both.

Horror Film Review: Silent Rage (dir by Michael Miller)

Posted on October 23, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 1982 film, Silent Rage, takes place in a small town in Texas.

John Kirby (Brian Libby) is the town troublemaker, an obviously mentally disturbed man with a violent and unpredictable temper. As the film starts, Kirby is murdering the members of the latest family to offer him a home. John is strong, fierce, and determined to create chaos. However, he’s about to face someone who is just as strong and determined. Sheriff Dan Stevens is a tough, tight-lipped western lawman who happens to be an expert in kung fu. Dan is such a badass that he’s played by Chuck Norris!

Dan is able to eventually slap the cuffs on Kirby but Kirby is so strong that he manages to break free from them and grab a shotgun. The other policemen are forced to gun him down. Barely clinging to life, Kirby is rushed to a secret institute where three scientists — Tom Halman (Ron Silver), Philip Spires (Steven Keats), and Paul Vaughn (William Finley) — are working on a process that they think will help cells to repair themselves. Philip and Paul think that Kirby will be the perfect test subject. Tom, whose sister (Toni Kalem) is dating Dan — mentions that it might not be a good idea because Kirby was a psychotic murderer and stuff. Philip decides to experiment on Kirby, regardless.

While the scientists are breaking the laws of God, Dan and his comic relief deputy (played, in a charming performance, by Stephen Furst) are dealing with local problems, like the bikers who hang out at a nearby roadhouse. (Apparently, it’s not a Chuck Norris film without a fight in a roadhouse.) However, Dan soon has more than just bikers to deal with. The experiments have succeeded. John Kirby has come back to life. He can’t speak and it’s debatable whether he even knows who he is. But he is now virtually immortal and super-strong and soon, he’s killing scientists and going on a rural rampage. Can even Chuck Norris stop him!?

That question is not just hyperbole. One reason why Silent Rage works as well as it does is because Chuck Norris has been established as America’s premiere fighting badass. There is an entire internet culture that has been built around the idea of Chuck Norris being the man who cannot be defeated. The world, we’re told, lives in fear and awe of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. And yet, when Sheriff Dan faces the resurrected Kirby, he finds himself fighting an opponent who is not intimidated or easily knocked down. The film establishes early on that Kirby will kill anyone, even the most likable characters in the film. Watching Dan fight Kirby, the stakes feel real and you don’t know who is going to win. Both Chuck Norris and Brian Libby deserve a lot of credit for their fight scene at the end of the movie.

Silent Rage is often described as being a slasher film because Brian does spend a lot of time stalking people and killing them in different ways. Personally, I would not call it a slasher film. Because it hinged on scientists who overlooked the obvious dangers to achieve their goals, I would refer to this as being a sci-fi horror film, with John Kirby becoming the human equivalent of the Xenomorph from Alien. There’s nothing scarier than a monster who can challenge Chuck Norris.

Film Review: The Day After (dir by Nicholas Meyer)

Posted on August 22, 2020 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“This is Lawrence. This is Lawrence, Kansas. Is anybody there? Anybody at all?”

The words of Joe Huxley (John Lithgow) hang over the ending of The Day After, a 1983 film that imagines what the aftermath of a nuclear war would be like not on the East or the West Coasts but instead in the rural heartland of America. Huxley is a professor at the University of Kansas and, as he explains early on in the film, Kansas would be an automatic target in any nuclear war because it houses a number of missile silos. When he explains that, it’s in an almost joking tone, largely because the missiles haven’t been launched yet. Instead, the only thing we’ve heard are a few barely noticed news stories about growing tensions between America and Russia. About halfway through The Day After, the bombs go off and there are suddenly no more jokes to be made.

When the bombs drop over Kansas, we watch as cities and field and people burst into flames. In a matter of minutes, several thousands are killed. I’m almost ashamed to admit that I was probably more upset by the image of a horse being vaporized than I was by the death of poor Bruce Gallatin (Jeff East), the college student who was planning on marrying Denise Dahlberg (Lori Lethin). I guess it’s because horses — really, all animals — have nothing to do with the conflicts between nations. Humans are the ones who take the time to build bigger and better weapons and The Day After is one of the few films about war that’s willing to acknowledge that, when humans fight, it’s not just humans that die.

The bombing sequence is lengthy and I have to admit that I was a bit distracted by the fact that I recognized some of the footage from other movies. A scene of panicked people running through a building was taken from Two-Minute Warning. A scene of a building exploding and a construction worker being consumed by flames was lifted from Meteor. As well, there’s some stock footage which should be familiar to anyone who has ever seen a documentary about the early days of the Cold War. Still, despite that, it’s an effective sequence simply because it’s so relentless. Some of the film’s most likable characters are vaporized before our eyes. Steve Guttenberg, of all people, is seen ducking into a store.

Guttenberg plays Stephen Klein, a pre-med student who manages to survive the initial attack and takes shelter with the Dahlberg family at their ranch. At first, it’s a bit distracting to see Steve Guttenberg in a very serious and very grim film about the nuclear apocalypse but he does a good job. The sight of him losing both his teeth and his hair carries a punch precisely because he is reliably goofy Steve Guttenberg.

If the film has a star, it’s probably Jason Robards, the doctor who witnesses the initial blast from the safety of his car and then treats the dying in Lawrence, Kansas. He does so, despite the fact that he doesn’t know if his wife, son, and daughter are even still alive. He continues to do so until he also falls ill with radiation poisoning. Knowing that he’s dying, he heads home just to discover that there is no home to return to.

Home is reccuring theme throughout The Day After. Everyone wants to return to their home but everyone’s home has been wiped out. “This is my home,” Jim Dahlberg (John Cullum) tries to explain before he’s attacked by a group of feral nomads. Home no longer exists and trying to pretend like life can go back to the way it once was is an often fatal mistake.

Real happy film, right? Yeah, this isn’t exactly a film that you watch for fun. I have to admit that I made a joke about how I wouldn’t want to die while wearing the unfortunate blue jumpsuit that Jason Robards’s daughter chooses to wear on the day of the nuclear attack and I felt guilty immediately. (Well, not that guilty. Seriously, it was a terrible fashion choice.) The Day After is a film that gives audiences zero hope by design. It was made at a time when it was generally assumed that nuclear was inevitable and it was designed to scare the Hell out of everyone watching. And while I can’t attest to how audience may have reacted in 1983, I can say that, in 2020, it’s still a powerful and disturbing film.

“Is anybody there? Anybody at all?” Joe Huxley asks and by the end of the film, the answer doesn’t matter. The damage has already been done.

A Movie A Day #114: Scavenger Hunt (1979, directed by Michael Schultz)

Posted on May 1, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

When game designer Milton Parker (Vincent Price) dies, all of his greedy relatives and his servants gather for the reading of his will. Parker’s lawyer, Benstein (Robert Morley), explains that Parker is leaving behind a $200 million dollar estate to whoever can win an elaborate scavenger hunt. Dividing into five teams, the beneficiaries head out to track down as many items as they can by five o’clock that evening. Among the items that they have to find: a toilet, a cash register, an ostrich, a microscope, and an obese person. Hardy har har.

The five teams are made up of a who’s who of sitcom and television actors who had time to kill in 1979. The Odd Couple‘s Tony Randall is Henry Motely, who is Parker’s son-in-law and who works with his four children. Soap‘s Richard Mulligan plays a blue-collar taxi driver named Marvin Dummitz (because funny names are funny) who teams up with his friend, Merle (Stephen Furst). The Mary Tyler Moore Show‘s Cloris Leachman (an Oscar winner, no less) gets stuck with the role of Milton’s greedy sister, Mildred. She works with her conniving lawyer (Richard Benjamin) and her stupid son (Richard Masur). Maureen Teefy plays Milton’s niece while his nephews are played by Willie Aames and Dirk Benedict. Cleavon Little, James Coco, Roddy McDowall, and Stephanie Faracy play the servants.

It doesn’t stop there, though. Avery Schreiber plays a zookeeper. Meat Loaf plays a biker who beats up Richard Benjamin. Ruth Gordon, Stuart Pankin, Pat McCormick, and Scatman Crothers all have cameos. Even Arnold Schwarzenegger makes an appearance as a gym instructor who knocks Tony Randall out of a second story window.

There are a lot of famous people in Scavenger Hunt. It’s just too bad that the movie itself is barely watchable and not at all funny. It tries to go for the zaniness of It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World but, unless watching Willie Aames steal a clown head from Jack in the Box is your idea of hilarity, the film never comes close to succeeding. Michael Schultz directed some classic films (like Car Wash) during the 1970s but, unfortunately, he also directed Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band and this.

Scavenger Hunt used to show up on a late night television, where it was always advertised as starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. (He barely has five minutes of screentime.) It was released on DVD/Blu-ray earlier this year but watching for the cameos is the only reason to take part in this Scavenger Hunt.

2016 In Review: The Best of SyFy

Posted on January 7, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Well, here we are! We have reached the end of the first week of January, 2017 and that means that it is time for me to start listing my favorite movies, books, songs, and TV shows of the previous year! Let’s start things off by taking a look at the best that the SyFy network had to offer in 2016!

Below, you will find my nominees for the best SyFy films and performances of the previous year. The winners are listed in bold and starred. As you’ll quickly notice, it was a good year for films about zombies, spiders, and sharks!

(Please note: When it comes to determining the nominees, I have used the credits for each film as listed on the Internet Movie Database. If anyone feels that they have been miscredited, feel free to let me know and I’ll correct the mistake. Thanks!)

Best Picture

2 Lava 2 Lantula, produced by Neil Elman, Anthony Frankhauser, Lisa M. Hansen, Paul Hertzber

Atomic Shark, produced by Tanya Bellamy, Diane Boone, Matt Chiasson, Angela Meredith Furst, Griff Furst, Stephen Furst, M. Juan Gonzalez, Ross Herbert, Howie Klein, Som Kohanzadeh, Yoram Kohanzadeh, Isiah LaBorde, Kevin Lamb, Daniel March, Will Matherne, David Poughatsch, Lee C. Rogers, Miguel Sandoval, Arthur Scanlan, Ben Yimlimai

Dead 7, produced by Paul Bales, Nick Carter, David L. Garber, David Michael Latt, David Rimawi, Micho Rutare, Dylan Vox

Isle of the Dead, produced by Paul Bales, Lauren Elizabeth Hood, David Michael Latt, David Rimawi

*The Night Before Halloween, produced by Blake Corbet, Priscilla Galvez, Christina O’Shea-Daly, Marek Povisal, Lance Samuels, Mary Anne Waterhouse

Ozark Sharks, produced by Kenneth M. Badish, Sam Claitor, Eric Davies, Daniel Lewis, Jordan Lewis, Pierre-Andre Rochat, Tommy Talley

Best Director

Nick Lyons for Isle of the Dead

Nick Simon for 2 Lava 2 Lantula

Misty Talley for Ozark Sharks

*Sheldon Wilson for The Night Before Halloween

Best Actor

*Nick Carter in Dead 7

Steve Guttenberg in 2 Lava 2 Lantula

Justin Kelly in The Night Before Halloween

Michael Papajohn in Ozark Sharks

Best Actress

Jessica Blackmore in Dam Sharks

Laura Cayouette in Ozark Sharks

*Bailee Madison in The Night Before Halloween

Maryse Mizanin in Isle of the Dead

Best Supporting Actor

Raymond J. Barry in Day of Reckoning

*D.C. Douglas in Isle of the Dead

Alex Harrouch in The Night Before Halloween

Thomas Francis Murphy in Ozark Sharks

Best Supporting Actress

*Allisyn Ashley Arm in Ozark Sharks

Barbara Crampton in Day of Reckoning

Kristina Hughes in Stakeland 2: The Stakelander

Kiana Madiera in The Night Before Halloween

Best Screenplay

*2 Lava 2 Lantula, Neil Elman, Ashley O’Neil

Isle of the Dead, Jacob Cooney, Brandon Trenz

The Night Before Halloween, Sheldon Wilson

Ozark Sharks, Marcy Holland, Greg Mitchell

Best Cinematography

Atomic Shark, Don E. FauntLeRoy

*The Night Before Halloween, Daniel Grant

Planet of the Sharks, Mark Atkins

Stakeland 2: The Stakelander, Matt Mitchell

Best Costumes

*Dead 7, Sarah Sharp

Isle of the Dead, Cailan Calandro

Planet of the Sharks, Mary-Sue Morris

Stakeland 2: The Stakelander, Brenda Shenher

Best Editing

Atomic Shark, Stephen Pfeil

Isle of the Dead, Rob Pallatina

The Night Before Halloween

*Ozark Sharks, Misty Talley

Best Makeup

The Crooked Man, Laurie Hallack, Laura Morton, Hannah Schenck, Eric S. Wilson

*Isle of the Dead, Leslie Burdick, Dennis M. Chavez, Michael Robert Cypher, Lleva Radina

Sharknado 4, Krystal Bagorio, Stacy Bisel, Haley Coats, Rebeca Ovadia, Magali Serrano, Melissa K. Webb

Stakeland 2: The Stakelander, Raven Dee, Jill Demaer, Lindi Edge, Pete Gerner, Nina McArthur, Brian Spears, Krista Stevenson

Best Score

*Dead 7, Drew Lerdal, Bryan Shackle

Isle of the Dead, Chris Cano, Chris Ridenhour

Ozark Sharks, Andrew Morgan Smith

Sharknado 4, Christopher Cano, Chris Ridenhour

Best Production Design

2 Lava 2 Lantula, Yana Veselova, Megan Sunzeri

Dead 7, Caitlin Langen, Mikki Mamaril

*Isle of the Dead, Kalise Wallace, Taylor Jean

Sharknado 4, Kalise Wallace

Best Sound

Atomic Shark

Isle of the Dead

The Night Before Halloween

*Sharknado 4

Best Visual Effects

Atomic Shark

*2 Lava 2 Lantula

The Night Before Halloween

Shadows of the Dead

Congratulations to all the nominees! Thank you for keeping us entertained in 2016!

Want to see my picks for last year? Click here!

Click here for my picks from 2014!

And here for my picks from 2013!

Tomorrow, we’ll take a look at the best from Lifetime!

Previous Entries In The Best of 2016:

Back to School Part II #9: National Lampoon’s Animal House (dir by John Landis)

Posted on August 24, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

You know what? I’m going to start this review with the assumption that you’ve already seen the classic 1978 college comedy, National Lampoon’s Animal House. At the very least, I’m going to assume that you’ve heard of it and that you know the general details. Animal House was not only a huge box office success but it’s also one of the most influential films ever made. Almost every comedy released since 1978 owes a debt to the success of Animal House. Just as every subsequent high school film was directly descended from American Graffiti, every college film features at least a little Animal House in its DNA.

So, with that in mind, who is your favorite member of Delta House?

Most people, I think, would automatically say Bluto (played by John Belushi) and certainly, Bluto is the best known and perhaps best-remembered member of the cast. As played by Belushi, Bluto is the film’s rampaging ID and he’s such a force of nature that, whenever I rewatch Animal House, I’m surprised to be reminded of the fact that he’s not really in the film that much. He’s present for the parties, of course. He imitates a zit and starts a food fight. He gives a rousing speech, in which he reminds the members of the Delta House that America didn’t give up after “the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor!” He destroys a folk singer’s guitar and I personally love the scene where he tries to cheer up a despondent pledge by smashing a beer bottle over his head. But really, Bluto is used very sparingly and he’s one of the few members of the ensemble not to get his own subplot. Bluto’s great but he’s not my favorite member of Delta House.

Believe it or not, my favorite member of Delta House is Robert Hoover (James Widdoes). Hoover is the president of Delta House and, when we first meet him, he seems like he’s way too clean-cut to be in charge of the “worst house” on campus. But then, as the film progresses, we discover that Hoover may not be as openly crazy as everyone else but he’s definitely a Delta. Just watch him in the Toga party scene. Just look at him in the picture that shows up during the closing credits. It took me a while to realize that Hoover, the future public defender, was giving the camera the finger. Hoover may look uptight but he’s secretly a wild man!

One of the things that I love about Animal House is that it truly is an ensemble film. There’s not a weak performance to be found in the entire movie. No matter how wild or over-the-top the humor gets, the entire cast commits to their roles and, as a result, they keep this movie grounded. You actually find yourself caring about whether or not they get kicked off campus. You truly believe that the members of Delta House have been friends for years but, even more importantly, you believe the same thing about their rivals at Omega House. For that matter, it may be easy to make fun of Dean Wormer (John Vernon, setting the template for all evil deans to come) but you never doubt that he’s been in charge of Faber College for years and that he’s planning on being in charge for years to come. As played by the deep-voiced and sinister-looking Vernon, Wormer becomes every unreasonable authority figure. When he explains the concept of super secret probation, he does so with a smug pleasure that is practically chilling. When he mentions that the members of Delta House can now be drafted, the smile on his face is terrifying.

You know who else gives a really good performance in Animal House? Donald Sutherland. At the time, Sutherland was the biggest star in the film. He was offered either a percentage of the grosses or a flat fee. Sutherland thought the film would flop, took the flat fee, and missed out on millions as a result. Sutherland plays Prof. Jennings, an English teacher who, in the only scene actually set in a classroom, desperately tries to get his bored students to pay attention to him. There’s something so poignant about the way Jennings begs his students to turn in their papers. “I’m not joking,” he sputters, “this is my job!”

Jennings turns out to be free thinker. He turns Boone (Peter Riefert), Katie (Karen Allen), and Pinto (Tom Hulce) onto marijuana. There’s an anachronistic peace sign hanging in his apartment (Animal House takes place in 1963) but no matter. Far worse is the fact that he temporarily breaks up Boone and Katie! Everyone knows those two belong together!

You know who else doesn’t get enough credit for his performance in Animal House? Stephen Furst. He plays Flounder, a new pledge. Flounder is just so enthusiastic about everything and he doesn’t even seem to be upset when Wormer tells him, “Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life.” I love the enthusiastic way that Furst delivers simple lines like, “What’s my Delta Chi name?” and “Brother Bluto! Brother D-Day! What are you doing here!?” My favorite Flounder moment comes when he accidentally gives a horse a heart attack. Technically, it shouldn’t be funny but it is because Furst, Belushi, and Bruce McGill (playing the role of D-Day) so thoroughly throw themselves into their roles. For that matter, the horse did a pretty good job too.

But that’s not all! How can I praise the ensemble of Animal House without mention Tim Matheson, who plays Otter, the future Beverly Hills gynecologist? Or what about Kevin Bacon, playing Omega pledge Chip Diller? This was Bacon’s first role and who can forget him shouting, “Thank you, sir, may I have another!” while being initiated into Omega House? Or how about James Daughton and Mark Metcalf, as the two leaders of Omega House? They were villains truly worth hissing!

And yes, I know that a lot of the humor in Animal House is not politically correct but who cares? It’s a hilarious movie, one that is full of good actors at their absolute best. Yes, they’re all a bunch of privileged sexists blah blah blah, but I’d still party with the Delta House. They know how to have fun and, even if they did wreck the Homecoming Parade, they had a good reason!

And so is the movie. Every time I see Animal House, I feel good about the world. In 1978, The Deer Hunter was named best picture by the Academy. Well, you know what? With all due respect to that long epic about the tragedy of America’s involvement in the Vietnam War, all the Oscars should have gone to Animal House!

In conclusion … SING IT!

Let me t-t-tell you ’bout some friends I know
They’re kinda crazy but you’ll dig the show
They can party ’till the break of dawn
at Delta Chi you can’t go wrong

Otter, he’s the ladies man
Every girl falls into his hands
Boon and Katy playing “Cat and Mouse”

and Mrs. Wormer, she’s the queen of the
ANIMAL HOUSE

ANIMAL HOUSE

That Pinto he’s a real swell guy
Clorette was jailbait but he gave her a try
Chip, Doug, and Greg, they’re second to none
They studied under Attila the Hun

Mr. Jennings has got his wig on tight
Flouder’s left shoe’s always on his right
Babs and Mandy are having a pillow fight
With D-Day, Hoover, Otis Day and the Knights

DO THE BLUTO

Come on baby, dance with me
Maybe if we do the Bluto
We will get an “A” in lobotomy

DO THE BLUTO
DO THE BLUTO

Aw, come on!
Let me tell ya
Dean Wormer tried to shut us down
But he fell and he broke his crown
He didn’t know about the Delta spunk
He came in handy when we were short a skunk

At the

ANIMAL HOUSE

Film Review: Prime Time (1977, directed by Bradley R. Swirnoff)

Posted on September 5, 2015 by Jedadiah Leland

The great character actor Warren Oates appeared in a lot of fairly obscure movies but none are as obscure as Prime Time.

With a running time of barely 70 minutes, Prime Time is a comedic sketch film that was meant to capitalize on the then-recent success of The Groove Tube, Tunnelvision, The Kentucky Friend Movie, and the first season of Saturday Night Live. According to the Unknown Movies Page, Prime Time was financed independently and was picked up for distribution by Warner Bros. After the Warner execs saw the finished film, they decided it was unreleasable so the film’s production team sold the film to Cannon Pictures, who were famous for being willing to release anything. The movie played in a few cities under the terrible title American Raspberry and then went straight to VHS obscurity.

Sketch comedies are usually hit-and-miss and Prime Time is definitely more miss than hit. The majority of the film is made up of commercial parodies but, since most of the commercials being parodied are no longer on the air, the humor has aged terribly. There is also a wrap-around story. The President (George Furth) and a general (Dick O’Neill) try to figure out where the commercial parodies are coming from and stop them before the broadcast leads to a riot. There are a few funny bits (including Harry Shearer as a stranded trucker looking for a ride and Kinky Friedman singing a song about “Ol’ Ben Lucas who has a lot of mucus”) but, for the most part, the film is epitomized by a skit where people literally get shit dumped on their head. The film’s opens with an incredibly racist commercial for Trans Puerto Rican Airlines and it’s all downhill from there.

As for Warren Oates, he appears in an early skit. He and Robert Ridgely (best known for playing Col. James in Boogie Nights) play hunters who take part in the Charles Whitman Celebrity Invitational, climbing to the top of the Tower on the University of Texas campus and shooting at the people below. It’s even less funny now than it probably was in 1977.

How did Warren Oates end up in a movie like Prime Time? Even great actors have bills to pay. As for Prime Time, it is the one Warren Oates film that even the most dedicated Warren Oates fan won’t regret missing.