Retro Television Reviews: City Guys 5.1 “This Old Nerd” and 5.2 “E-Breakup”

Posted on June 1, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

It’s time to start the final season of City Guys!

Yay!

Seriously, I can’t believe that I’m nearly done with this stupid show. This was the show that launched Retro Television Reviews and I’ve somehow managed to stick with it, despite the fact that Tubi dropped the show and I’m now having to watch it via crappy YouTube uploads. That said, I’m ready to finish up City Guys and move on to a new show.

It may not take me that long to finish up the series because, as I previously mentioned, City Guys is no longer on Tubi. Most of season 5 has been uploaded to YouTube but a few episodes are missing. I will review what’s available. The important thing is that the finale is available so we’ll get to see if the City Guys ever actually graduated from Manny High.

Episode 5.1 “This Old Nerd”

(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on September 8th, 2001)

Season 5 opens with the students of Manny High once again revealing how strangely obsessed they are with their principal. It’s Ms. Noble’s birthday so L-Train, Chris, Cassidy, and Dawn decide to give her an expensive watch as a gift. (These people are way too obsessed with their principal.) L-Train buys a watch from a “bearded woman” that he meets on the street. Ms. Noble is crazy about the watch, which she says looks just like a watch that was recently stolen from her favorite store. (“It was stolen by a man with a beard,” Ms. Noble explains.) Ms. Noble says that she’s going to go by the store to get it fitted for her wrist. The kids freak out, convinced that this will somehow land them in prison.

Instead, it lands Ms. Noble in prison. Ms. Noble is forced to call into Chris and Jamal’s stupid radio show (which is apparently still a thing). Chris, Cassidy, and L-Train head down to the jail to …. what? Bail her out? Why is Ms. Noble wasting her one phone call on the radio show? Why isn’t she calling her husband or a lawyer or a bail bondsman?

Meanwhile, Jamal and Al make a bet as to whether or not Jamal can transform his nerdy friend Vincent into one of the cool kids. Jamal wins the bet but being cool goes to Vincent’s head. Vincent not only wants to be called Vince but he also quits the debate team! Eventually, though, Vince overhears Jamal and Al talking about the bet and he realizes that Jamal was just using him. Jamal apologizes and tells Vince that, to truly be cool, he just has to be himself. Nice message. I bet we’ll never see Vince again.

Anyway, Vince rejoins the debate team and he and Dawn win the debate tournament which, of course, is held on the roof of Manny High. Why does everything have to happen on that roof? That seems like that would be a huge safety violation. I climbed out onto the roof of my high school one time and I got yelled at so this is personal to me.

So yeah …. Season 5 is off to a stupid start! Let’s see if things improve in the second episode.

Episode 5.2 “E-Breakup”

(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on September 8th, 2001)

Al and Dawn break-up yet again! This time, it’s because Al discovered that Dawn was secretly talking to another guy online. (That guy turns out to be L-Train.) Personally, I think they should have broken up after they lost that stupid “best couple competition” to Billy and Ms. Noble at the end of season 4. There are some things that a relationship just can’t survive!

Meanwhile, Chris and Cassidy are upset because Jamal is in a relationship slump and insists on being a third wheel on all of their dates. They conspire to frame Jamal for vandalizing Ms, Noble’s office, which seems like a bit of an overreaction but whatever. Jamal eventually starts dating someone.

I guess the theme of this episode was that everyone at Manny High was a terrible, shallow human being. That sounds about right.

Music Video of the Day: Dance The Night by Dua Lipa (2023, dir by Greta Gerwig)

Posted on June 1, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Sure, Oppenheimer might have the biggest cast in the history of the movies but does it have its own music video?

Greta Gerwig is not only the director of Barbie but she also directed the movie’s music video, as well!

Enjoy!

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 2.16 “Gopher’s Opportunity / The Switch / Home Sweet Home”

Posted on May 31, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, The Love Boat sets sail for a thoroughly pleasant cruise. Come on board, they’re expecting you!

Episode 2.16 “Gopher’s Opportunity / The Switch / Home Sweet Home”

(Directed by Roger Duchowny and Allen Baron, originally aired on January 20th, 1979)

I’ve been watching these old episodes of The Love Boat for a while now and I have to say that I’m still not totally sure what it is that Gopher actually does on the ship. Merrill Stubing is the captain and is responsible for the safety of all of the passengers. Julie McCoy is the cruise director and is responsible for making sure everyone is entertained. Adam Bricker is the doctor and is probably responsible for the cruise line getting sued by every patient that he hits on. Isaac Washington is the bartender and is responsible for getting everyone so drunk that they’ll go back to their cabin with the first person who asks. But what does Gopher do?

I know that Gopher is the purser but the show has never really made clear what that means. I know I could look it up on Wikipedia but that’s not really the point. The point is that, while Fred Grandy was certainly likable in the role, the show often seemed to be unsure of what to do with Gopher. His cabin was decorated with posters of old movies but Gopher rarely spoke of being a fan. Instead, while the other crew members fell in love with passengers and got involved in each other’s lives, Gopher was often left as a mere observer.

This episode is unique because it actually allows Gopher to do something. When his old friends, Melody (Elayne Joyce) and Phil (Bobby Van), board the ship, they tell Gopher that they need a manager for their hotel and that they’re offering him the job. Normally, Gopher would never think of leaving his friends on the Pacific Princess but this episode finds him getting on Stubing’s nerves by leaving too many suggestions in the suggestion box. (One suggestion, which Stubing finds to be particularly egregious, is that the boat should have a designated “no smoking” area, which today just sounds like common sense, Can you even smoke on a cruise ship anymore?) Gopher, feeling underappreciated by the Captain, takes the hotel job. But, after he realizes that there’s an attraction between him and Melody, Gopher decides to stay on the boat and instead, he encourages Phil to give the position to Melody. It’s a pretty simple story but it does allow Fred Grandy to do something more than just make wisecracks in the corner. To be honest, the main theme of this story seemed to be that Captain Stubing is an insensitive jerk who doesn’t really appreciate his crew until they threaten to quit.

While Gopher is trying to decide whether to pursue a new career, magician Al Breyer (Ron Palillo, co-star of the latest addition to Retro Television Reviews, Welcome Back, Kotter) comes to the ship as a last-minute replacement for his older brother, Ken (Michael Gregory). Ken’s assistant, Maggie (Melinda Naud), is already on the boat and she’s disappointed when Al shows up instead of Ken. It turns out that Maggie was more than just Ken’s assistant. At first, she refuses to work with Al but she comes around when she discovers that Al is sensitive and nice and basically the opposite of Ken. When Ken does finally show up on the ship, he’s such a sleazeball that you have to kind of wonder what Maggie ever saw in him to begin with. Al responds to Ken’s arrival by locking him in a closet and then he and Maggie leave the boat, arm-in-arm. Hopefully, someone found Ken before he suffocated because, otherwise, Al’s magic career might come to an abrupt end.

Meanwhile, Hetty Waterhouse (Nancy Walker) decides that she’s going to live on the ship. She can do this because she’s a wealthy widow. She books her cabin for the next five years. Oddly, even though the audience has never seen or heard about her before, everyone else on the crew seems to know her and treats her like an old friend. That always bothers me a little, when we’re told that a previously unknown character is apparently everyone’s best friend. Anyway, the main reason that Hetty wants to live on the boat is because she’s in love with Charlie (Abe Vigoda), a cabin steward who has apparently been on the boat for years but who, again, the audience has never seen or hear about before. Charlie is retiring but he wants to get an apartment on dry land. He’s tired of the sea. Hetty gives up her cabin so that she can move into Charlie’s apartment. Awwwww!

This was actually a pretty sweet episode. Gopher finally felt appreciated by the captain. Al and Maggie realized that they were both better than Ken. Hetty and ~~Tessio~~ Charlie found late-in-life happiness together. This was a perfectly charming cruise!

Music Video of the Day: Early Winter by Gwen Stefani (2007, dir by Sophie Muller)

Posted on May 31, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

An early winter sounds nice but, of course, we have to deal with the summer first. Bleh.

By the way, that is Steelo Vasquez playing Gwen’s boyfriend in this video. He was a dancer on The Sweet Escape Tour.

Enjoy!

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 2.24 “Bowling/Command Performance”

Posted on May 30, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, the Island plays hosts to both a bowling tournament and a circus reunion!

Episode 2.24 “Bowling/Command Performance”

(Dir by Michael Vejar, originally aired on May 12th, 1979)

This week, after spotting the approaching plane, Tattoo attempts to show off the new rocket fuel he’s invented. Unfortunately, the fuel doesn’t work and the rocket doesn’t take off. I guess that’s actually a good thing, considering that there’s a plane flying over the island.

“Let’s greet our guests,” a visibly annoyed Roarke says.

This week, Fantasy Island is playing host to two big events. First, there’s the Fantasy Island Bowling Tournament, in which three of the world’s greatest bowlers will face off against Lou Fielding (Al Molinaro). Lou is not a bowling champion. In fact, he’s not even a very good bowler. I don’t know much about bowling but even I know that the goal is not to get the ball in the gutter. However, Lou’s fantasy is to win the championship. Mr. Roarke plants stories in the local press that Lou has been causing a stir on the European bowling circuit and, at the tournament, Lou discovers that strikes are all that he can roll. Unfortunately, Lou’s fantasy is due to end at midnight and, because of an electrical short, the championship game is delayed until the final morning. Can Lou get the three strikes that he needs, even though he no longer has the benefit of the Island’s magic?

While this is going on, Naomi Gittings (Joan Blondell) is hosting a reunion of all of the people who used to perform in her circus. That’s right …. the Island is crawling with acrobats, lion tamers, and clowns! There’s especially a lot of clowns. But I think most viewers will be more interested in Roddy McDowall, playing the role of a former tight-rope walker named Richard Simmons. Richard used to be on the best but then he lost his balance, fell off his rope, and smashed his leg. Now, he’s a drunk who walks with a limp and is forced to beg his old friends for money. When members of the circus start to get murdered, Richard is the natural suspect. But, as Mr. Roarke reveals, there’s more to this mystery than meets the eye….

I liked this episode. Both of the stories were entertaining and, after last week’s children’s episode, it was kind of nice to once again be dealing with adults. The bowling fantasy had the potential to be too silly for its own good but Al Molinaro and, in the role of his wife, Rue McClanahan played their roles with surprising conviction. The highlight of the episode was Roddy McDowall, giving a serious performance as poor Richard. All in all, this was a good trip to Fantasy Island.

Next week, the second season comes to an end with a second visit to …. ugh …. “the other side of the Island.”

Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 4.23 “Breaks of the Game” and 4.24 “Window of Opportunity”

Posted on May 29, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Hang Time, which ran on NBC from 1995 to 2000. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Last week, the team was heading to the championship and then suddenly, they were taking a trip to New York. Let’s see if this week makes any more sense!

Episode 4.23 “Breaks of the Game”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on November 28th, 1998)

Remember how the team was in New York during the previous episode?

Well, now, they’re back in Indiana! And they’ve advanced in the championship tournament, making it to the finals! The only problem is that their best player has tested positive for steroids. When Hammer is told that he’s the only member of the team to have tested positive, he swears that it’s a mistake. He gets retested and fails a second time. Hammer swears that he is steroid free. Michael believes him. Silk and Rico think he’s lying and are angry at him for ruining the season. Julie doesn’t really care, she just wants to figure out how to win without Hammer.

Well, the team doesn’t win without Hammer. They come close, especially after they realize that the only reason Hammer tested positive was because of his allergy medication. But, for the first time in a few seasons, they miss that all-important final shot and, for once, it’s the other team that wins by one point.

Coach K tells them not to be too hard on themselves. He says that the true test of maturity is how you handle disappointment and bad breaks. It’s not a bad message, even though we all know Coach Fuller would have found a way to win that game.

Meanwhile, Kristy meets a painter who tells her that he’s obsessed with her red hair. (The same thing has happened to me more than once.) She poses for him but is shocked to discover that, even though she was dressed while posing, he still painted her naked. Julie, Mary Beth, and Kristy sneak into the art show and destroy the painting. Somehow, they don’t get arrested. Personally, I can’t laugh at people destroying paintings. Sadly, that’s pretty much the direction that our society is heading in.

Let’s give this episode credit for dealing with defeat. But seriously — don’t pose unless you’re willing to accept that the artist’s vision might be different from yours.

Episode 4.24 “Window of Opportunity”

(Dir by Patrick Maloney, originally aired on November 28th, 1998)

The team is in New York City and getting ready to celebrate Christmas! Wouldn’t they rather celebrate in Indiana with their families? And why are Kristy and Mary Beth there when they’re not actually members of the basketball team? I mean, the team won the trip.

Anyway, Mary Beth finds time, during her vacation, to work as an intern at a department store. She impresses the store owner by giving the teen department a makeover and, when her manager tries to steal the credit for her ideas, Mary Beth learns an important lesson about standing up for herself. An even better lesson to learn would be that vacations are not meant for work.

Speaking of work, Coach K is hired to work as a department stare Santa. He forced Michael, Rico, Hammer, and Silk to be his elves because why should any of them actually get to relax on their vacation? Coach K and the Elves are briefly mistaken for being a group of thieves and they end up in jail. But then they’re released because the real thieves were caught. Seriously, that’s the whole storyline.

Ugh. If I had wanted to watch an episode of City Guys, that’s what I would have done.

Next week, season 4 concludes!

Retro Television Reviews: Dark Angel (dir by Robert Iscove)

Posted on May 28, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay. Today’s film is 1996’s Dark Angel! It can be viewed on YouTube!

Eric Roberts is Walter D’Arcangelo!

Walter was raised in the Louisiana foster system and eventually a series of Catholic orphanages. With a last name like D’Arcangenlo, it’s hard not to feel that Walter was destined to eventually become an eccentric homicide detective who does things his way and that’s exactly what happened. After starting his career in Baton Rouge, Walter has recently transferred to New Orleans. He arrives just in time to help investigate a series of gruesome murders, the victims of which are all women who cheated on their husbands. Walter even starts to get phone calls from someone who claims to be the murderer.

Unfortunately, for Walter, he’s somehow become a suspect in the murders. The rest of the homicide division doesn’t quite know what to make of the somewhat nervy Walter. When they discover that he went missing for several months while working in Baton Rouge, that makes him even more suspicious in the eyes of his new colleagues. Even while she personally is falling for him, Detective Anna St. Cyr (Ashley Crow) investigates Walter’s past and discovers that Walter does indeed have a link to the murders but not in a way that anyone was expecting.

Dark Angel was clearly intended to be a pilot for a weekly detective show. I imagine that Detective D’Arcangelo would have spent every week investigating a different murder in New Orleans. The show is full of moments that don’t have much to do with the case but which seem to have been included to make viewers say, “Wow, Eric Roberts is a really interesting guy! I wish he was starring in TV series that I could watch every Tuesday night!” Roberts does give a pretty good performance as Walter, hinting that, even if he isn’t a killer, the detective is still someone who could snap at any minute. Roberts plays Walter as if Walter himself is a little bit scared of the darkness that’s lurking inside of him. Walter’s an interesting character, though one gets the feeling that the demands of a weekly show would have led to the character becoming a bit less enigmatic if Dark Angel had been turned into a series.

The film takes place in New Orleans and it’s somewhat shameless about indulging in every “Big Easy” cliché possible. Yes, Walter listens to jazz. Yes, there are scenes of rain and shots where the steamy humidity seems to be rising from the French Quarter. Yes, Walter visits a voodoo priestess and yes, there’s even a scene set during Mardi Gras. Though there’s nothing unexpected about the show’s portrayal of New Orleans, the pilot does do a good job of capturing the city’s unique atmosphere. Eric Roberts and New Orleans feel like a perfect match,

Of course, Dark Angel did not become a series. Still, the pilot is entertaining and Eric Roberts gives another memorable performance. Dark Angel is a enjoyably macabre diversion.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

Music Video of the Day: Now That You Got It by Gwen Stefani, feat. Damian Marley (2007, dir by The Saline Project)

Posted on May 28, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Gwen always seems to be having a good time. We should all try to be more like Gwen,

Enjoy!

May Positivity: Grace Unplugged (dir by Brad J. Silverman)

Posted on May 27, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 2013 film, Grace Unplugged, is about Grace Trey (AJ Michalka) and her father, Johnny Trey (James Denton). Back in the 80s, Johnny was a rock star who had one hit song and then basically wasted away with his career with drugs and alcohol. Eventually, he got clean and turned his back on rock stardom. Instead, he started writing and performing faith-based music. Like her father, Grace is musically talented but, at the age of 18, she is chafing at the idea of living under his strict rules. Though she plays in his band, she resents the fact that he won’t left her play the songs the way that she wants to.

One day, Johnny is visited by his former manager, Mossy Mostin (Kevin Pollack). (Never trust anyone named Mossy.) Mossy explains that, because it was performed by the winner of an Australian singing competition, Johnny’s one hit is suddenly popular again. Mossy wants Johnny to start recording again. “None of the religious stuff, obviously,” Mossy says. Johnny turns Mossy down but Grace, looking for an escape, records her own version of her father’s song and sends it to Mossy.

After she ditches youth group so that she can go to a movie and subsequently gets yelled at about it by her father, Grace decides to leave home and go to Mossy. Mossy offers to manage Grace. He also tells Grace that he will be totally taking over her image. Soon, Grace finds herself in a phony relationship with a vapid television star (Zane Holtz) and she’s told that she has to be willing to sex up her image if she’s going to be a star. Johnny continually asks her to come back home. Mossy continually pressures her to stop thinking and just listen to her management.

On the positive side, Grace Unplugged avoids the many of the cliches that one might normally expect to come along with a film like this. Grace, for instance, doesn’t get hooked on pills or any other drugs. At worse, she has too much to drink one night and then wakes up with a bad hangover. Grace may often feel confused about what she wants to do with her career and she doesn’t appreciate her father’s strict ways but she never becomes self-destructive or strung out or any of the other things that usually happen in movies like this. As well, Mossy is portrayed as being a bit insensitive but he’s not some sort of a mustache-twirling villain. In fact, the film is smart enough to understand that Grace does have a point about her father. Johnny is too over-protective and over-controlling, especially when it comes to her music. He fears that she’ll make the same mistakes that he did but the viewers never have any doubt that she’s not going to. Grace is often naïve and unsure of what she should do but she’s never portrayed as being weak and I appreciated that.

That said, the film ends on a bit of a heavy-handed note as it reveals itself to be yet another adaptation of the parable of the Prodigal Son. The film’s script conspires to only leave Grace with two options, which is either abandon her family or abandon stardom. In the end, the film’s conclusion feels just a little bit too simplistic.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 5/21/23 — 5/27/23

Posted on May 27, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I didn’t watch much this week. For whatever reason, I really wasn’t in a television mood. Still, I did catch a few shows and here are my thoughts on them!

Barry (Sunday Night, HBO)

Monroe “The Raven” Fuches has his own compound. NoHo Hank is discovering that being a legitimate businessman still means doing a lot of illegal stuff. The FBI is now convinced that Cusineau was Barry’s accomplice. And Sally and John have been kidnapped. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit nervous about how all of this going to wrap up on Sunday night. I’m hoping for a happy ending but I don’t know if there is such a thing in the world of Barry.

Beavis and Butt-Head (Paramount Plus)

Oh no! Beavis and Butt-Head are dead! Well, actually, I’m sure they’ll find a way to survive being in that car that just got tossed into the car smasher thing. I mean, Old Beavis survived having one of his kidneys explode so it might just be that the boys are immortal and incapable of dying. That’s kind of a scary thought.

Black Bird (Apple TV+)

I finished up this excellent miniseries on Sunday. Paul Walter Hauser chilled me to the bone. Ray Liotta broke my heart.

Bubblegum Crisis (Night Flight Plus)

I watched the fourth episode of this anime on Saturday morning. It features a black car shoving a bunch of motorcyclists out of the way. That was actually kind of neat because everyone knows the frustration of getting stuck behind a motorcyclist (or, even worse, a freaking bicyclist) in heavy traffic.

City Guys (YouTube)

I have finally started in on the 5th and final season of City Guys. You can read my thoughts on the 4th season finale right here.

Forgive or Forget (YouTube)

Robin Givens talked to teenagers who felt that they had been let down by their mothers. Wait …. where’s Mother Love!?

Great Performances (Monday Morning, PBS)

Danai Gurira played the title role in a Shakespeare in the Pak production of Richard III. Gurira was certainly able to capture the character’s ruthless determination but there still wasn’t much depth to either her performance or the overall production.

Hang Time (YouTube)

I’m nearly done with this show. Yay! Read my thoughts on this week’s episode here!

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about this week’s episode of The Love Boat here!

The Master (Tubi)

Max Keller, union activist! The third episode of The Master was pretty silly and I wrote about it here!

The Office (Peacock)

“Hey there, Mr. Scott, what you gonna do? What you gonna do? Make our dreams come true!” Can you guess which episode of The Office I watched on Friday afternoon?

Red Dwarf (Monday Morning, PBS)

The long-running British science fiction comedy is now airing on my PBS station so I watched an episode on Monday. Apparently, the last Earthling in existence gave some false memories to his companion, a hologram. The hologram was disappointed to learn that his memories weren’t real. It was funny but it was also kind of sad, to be honest. It made me wonder what I would so if I woke up one day to discover that I was the last remaining person on Earth (or in space, as the case may be).

Survivor (Wednesday Night, CBS)

Another season of Survivor has come to a close and I am off the reality show beat until Big Brother returns in August. Yam Yam, to be honest, got on my last nerve because he was so whiny and petulant. He played a good enough game that he deserved the victory but still, I would have preferred to have seen either Carolyn or Carson take home the money. What was up with Carolyn getting zero votes? That sucked! You can read my thoughts on Survivor here!

Yes, Minister (Monday Morning, PBS)

This week, Jim Hacker caused a panic when he threatened to withhold honours from civil servants who did not reduce their budgets. Of course, no civil servant would ever willingly reduce their budget but what’s the point of being a civil servant without the honours? It was all very British but it was also universal. Bureaucrats love to be rewarded for not doing anything.