Break something, I guess.
I appreciate all of the pink instruments of destruction. There’s no reason you can’t look good, even when you’re going ballistic.
Enjoy!
Tag Archives: review
Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.22 “Ride the Whirlwind”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!
This week, Baker takes charge!
Episode 2.22 “Ride The Whirlwind”
(Dir by Larry Wilcox, originally aired on March 10th, 1979)
Just as with the week’s episode of Miami Vice, I am going to do a bullet-point review of this week’s episode of CHiPs because, quite frankly, it’s the holidays and I’m pressed for time.
- In order to combat a crime wave that has apparently broken out in the nearby California hills, Baker has suggested creating a three-person dirt-bike team. His hope is that the team will be made up of him, Ponch, and Sindy. However, when Sindy gets delayed while helping a stranding motorist and ends up missing the morning briefing, Baker is forced to pick Grossman (Paul Linke) instead.
- “Yay!” you might be saying. Seriously, Grossman is a far more entertaining character than Sindy. However, Ponch, Baker, and Sindy are not happy about it. My personal feeling is that if riding a dirt bike was that damn important to Sindy, she should have arrived on time.
- Ponch pays Grossman forty dollars to fake an injury so Sindy can take his place. Grossman takes the money and then explains that he would have done it for free, just because he can tell who much riding a dirt bike means to Sindy. If it meant so much to her, she could have showed up on time!
- The dirt bike patrol is a huge success. One guy rides through an old woman’s lettuce patch on his bike. Baker tracks down the miscreant and not only gives him a ticket but also gets a date with the guy’s girlfriend.
- Larry Wilcox also directed this episode, which perhaps explains why, for once, Baker’s the one who gets a date as opposed to Ponch.
- Ponch busts a city councilman who later explains that he was just riding his bike recklessly because he was having a midlife crisis.
- Sindy busts a punch of PCP dealers. It takes her two tries, however. The first time she chases them, she falls off her bike and sprains her ankle. The second time, she proves that she belongs on a bike.
- That’s good because Getraer is in a total panic about putting a woman on any sort of motorcycle, even just a dirt bike. “If she gets injured,” Getraer warns Baker, it’ll be bad news for the entire department. Getraer, I guess, hasn’t noticed that the entire second season had pretty much centered on just how hyper-competent Sindy is.
- The stars of this episode were the California scenery and the stunt people. The members of the dirt bike patrol all wear bulky uniforms and face-obscuring helmets, in order to disguise the fact that Larry Wilcox, Erik Estrada, and Brianne Leary are clearly not the ones who are actually riding the bikes.
- Noted character actor Paul Koslo appears as one of the PCP dealers. He’s believably redneck-y.
- This episode featured some impressive stunts, which is really the main thing that most people ask for when it comes to a show like this. That said, I do think the episode would have been more with Grossman as a member of the team.
Next week: Season two ends!
Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.9 “Baby Blues”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!
This week, the Vice Squad investigates a baby broker!
Episode 3.9 “Baby Blues”
(Dir by Danial Attias, originally aired on November 21st, 1986)
In honor Miami Vice‘s violent nature (and in recognition of the fact that it’s the holidays and I’ve got a lot of things that I need to do), I’m going to review this week’s episode bullet-point style!
- The episode starts in Colombia. Babies are being kidnapped from local villages. In some cases, they’re literally snatched from the arms of their mothers. The babies are taken to Miami where a sleazy lawyer named Howard Famiglia (Tommy Koenig) essentially sells them to wealthy families.
- Maria Escobar (Patrice Martinez) illegally crosses the border to search for her son in Miami. She nearly dies in the attempt. When she and a planeload of babies are discovered on a Miami runway, law enforcement gets involved.
- Castillo doesn’t think that the case is one that Vice should be investigating. Gina and Trudy set him straight.
- It doesn’t take long for the Vice Squad to discover that Famiglia is a baby broker. One of his customers is played by a young Stanley Tucci. The customer is willing to testify against Famiglia.
- Famiglia sends his henchmen out to intimidate and kill all of the witnesses.
- Famiglia also kills his main hitman and then booby traps his apartment. When Crockett and Tubbs jump out of the exploding apartment, it looked like Tubbs leg caught on fire. “Wow,” I said, “that really looked real!”
- It turns that it was real. Philip Michael Thomas’s stunt double was severely burned as a result.
- Eventually, the Vice Squad is able to trick Famiglia into believing that Maria is being kept at a local hospital. Famiglia sets up a meeting for women looking to adopt. While the women watch an educational film, Famiglia crawls through a ventilation shaft and tries to enter Maria’s room.
- SURPRISE! That’s not Maria in that hospital bed …. it’s Gina! The Vice Squad shoots Famglia dead, leaving his corpse awkwardly hanging out of the hospital room wall. For some reason, that sight really disturbed me.
- Maria is reunited with her son but, upon realizing that he now has a life and a family in America, she decides to let him stay with his new parents. She is then deported back to Colombia, where she will probably be killed by the same people who stole her baby in the first place.
- Overall, this episode suffered because the villain was miscast. Looking at the imdb, the majority of Tommy Koenig’s credits appear to have been comedic. He’s an actor who looks like he should be on a sketch comedy show and not a gritty crime drama. Even when Famiglia is crawling through an air duct with a gun, he just looks goofy. Plus, considering that he had a people working for him who were willing to murder, would Famiglia really have gone to the hospital himself?
- Stanley Tucci and Tommy Koenig should have switched roles.
- This episode gave Trudy, Gina, Switek, and Zito more to do than usual. That was good. This show often underused its supporting cast.
- Miami Vice was often a cop show with a political subtext. In this case (and I’m just pointing it out, I’m not necessarily agreeing or disagreeing), the subtext was that America’s immigration system sucked, as Maria only had a limited amount of time to find her son before being deported. But then she decided to leave him in America rather than take him back to Colombia. Miami Vice was not just political. It was also usually kind of depressing.
Next week’s episode features Bill Paxton and Wesley Snipes! I’m looking forward to it!
TRUE BELIEVER -James Woods & Robert Downey, Jr. take on the system!
I’ve been going through my movies and re-watching some of my favorites. A movie that clearly falls into that category is TRUE BELIEVER starring James Woods and Robert Downey, Jr. I became a fan of James Woods around 1988 primarily based on the strength of two action films that he worked on around that time, those being BEST SELLER (1987) and COP (1988). I spent hours combing through the rental selections at our local Hastings Entertainment store and I remember both of these movies being in the “New Release” section at the same time. They’re both hard hitting, violent films, and Woods is especially good in both. Being an obsessive completist, I found myself searching out the prior work of the star for some more good movies. It was during this time that TRUE BELIEVER was released to the theaters in February of 1989. I enjoy courtroom dramas, and knowing the intensity that Woods brings to his films, I had no doubt I would like it.
The story revolves around Eddie Dodd (Woods), an attorney who used to fight for the cause of the little guy, but now mostly finds himself protecting drug dealers from the law. Enter Roger Baron (Downey Jr.), a recent law school graduate who idolizes Dodd, and is now disappointed to see his legal hero reduced to his current cynical state. When a Korean mother comes into the law offices one day and says her son, Shu Kai Kim, has spent 8 years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit, cynical Dodd doesn’t want to take the case. Young Baron shames him into it though, and soon the two men find themselves taking on the New York District Attorney himself Robert Reynard (Kurtwood Smith) as they try to prove Shu Kai Kim’s innocence and help him taste freedom once more!
Often when people ask me to name my favorite James Woods film, I’ll quickly answer TRUE BELIEVER even though there are many good films to choose from. There are a few reasons for that. First, even though the film is a serious legal thriller with many dark undertones, director Joseph Ruben has given his movie a dark sense of humor. Woods and Downey, Jr. are able to find the humorous elements inherent in their characters and that brings some fun to the otherwise serious proceedings. Second, I really enjoy the story of underdogs taking on the big, bad system. Shu Kai Kim is an underdog who maintains his innocence when all the evidence appears flawlessly stacked against him. Eddie Dodd, the once feared civil rights lawyer who is now a hopeless burnout, is an underdog who appears to be out of his league as he goes up against the most powerful attorney in New York. These underdog story lines give us something to really root for as the story plays out. And finally, the performances are phenomenal from top to bottom. James Woods, an actor known for his electric intensity, is at the top of his game and Kurtwood Smith is a great adversary. Robert Downey, Jr. brings a bright-eyed enthusiasm to the role that compliments the cynical Woods nicely. And Yuji Okumoto as Shu Kai Kim shows us quite a transformation from a man who goes from almost being dead inside as a result of his eight years in prison, to a man who allows a glimmer of hope to seep in for a second chance. I think Okumoto is great in the role. The story takes many twists and turns and I enjoy every moment as it plays out.
TRUE BELIEVER is definitely one of my favorites!
Music Video of the Day: Midnight Train by Kim Wilde (2024, dir by Sean J. Vincent)
Kim Wilde’s back!
It’s been a while since I’ve been on a train after midnight. I think the last time …. wow, was it when Erin and I went to a midnight premiere of Sex and the City 2 at the Angelika? That was like a whole other lifetime ago.
This video does a good job of capturing what we all like to imagine riding a midnight train would be like. The reality of my last midnight train ride is that I was feeling like crap but all of the seats were taken so I had to stand for the first three stops. I was lucky I didn’t faint. Maybe that’s why I stopped riding midnight trains. Who knows, it was a while ago.
Anyway, enjoy!
Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi High 1.3 “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1989 to 1991! The series can be streamed on YouTube!
This week, it’s time for another Degrassi divorce!
Episode 1.3 “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do”
(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on November 13th, 1989)
I’m running a bit late tonight so here is a very quick rundown of this week’s episode of Degrassi High.
- Joey is so consumed with his band (which has now been renamed The Zits) that he doesn’t seem to notice that his girlfriend, Caitlin, is more interested in political activism than forgettable pop music. Caitlin is offended when Joey tries to convince he to wear a bikini for a Zits music video. Soon, she is having lunch with douchey environmentalist Claude Tanner (David Armin-Parcells).
- Joey does convince Allison (Sara Holmes) and Amy (Jacy Hunter) to appear in his music video while wearing bikinis, albeit in return for him paying them forty dollars that he got from Snake and Wheels. Snake and Wheels are offended at the idea of their money being spent to hire girls to wear bikinis. Lucy is offended that Joey wants to borrow her video camera to shoot “a sexist video.” Long story short: Joey does not shoot his music video but Snake and Wheels start to take more interest in his plans for the band.
- Lucy admits to LD that she has a crush on Wheels. This would usually be a minor point but it’s actually really heart-breaking for those of us who know that Wheels is destined to nearly kill Lucy while driving drunk.
- Erica doesn’t want everyone to know that she had an abortion but rumors are spreading through the school. Nancy (Arlene Lott), who has been on the show since Junior High, finally gets some dialogue when she awkwardly asks Heather if the rumors about Erica are true. This scene not only reveals that people know about Erica’s abortion but it also answers the question of why Nancy usually wasn’t given any dialogue.
- Erica is upset when someone paints “Baby Killer” on her locker. Well, who wouldn’t be?
- The episode’s main storyline features Michelle’s parents breaking up. BLT is hopeful that this means Michelle will decide to move in with her mother and say goodbye to her father, who doesn’t want Michelle dating BLT because BLT is black. But, when Michelle sees how helpless her father is (he can’t cook and doesn’t separate colors while doing the laundry), she decides that she has to stay with him and BLT will just have to keep seeing her in secret.
- Yes, this is another divorce episode. Degrassi usually did a pretty good job with divorce episodes and that’s a good thing because it’s never easy for someone to watch their parents split up. I know that from personal experience. This episode handled things well, though I have to admit that Michelle is one of those characters who I always tend to forget about. (Either that or I mix her up with LD.) If this episode was made today, Michelle probably would have dramatically denounced her father and then moved out of the house. I appreciated that Degrassi High took a more realistic approach to the story.
Next week …. more drama!
THE WICKER MAN – Somehow it seems appropriate that we’re sitting by the fire tonight.
Long before he was the Equalizer on my TV screen in the 80’s, Edward Woodward was Sergeant Howie, the Christian police sergeant who flies to the island of Summerisle to investigate the case of a missing girl. As he moves around the island, he meets a strange assortment of people who have a penchant for public sex and nudity, singing bad songs, discussing phallic Maypole symbols in grade school classrooms, and wearing rabbit masks. Christopher Lee is Lord Summerisle who presides over this land of loonies while wearing an extremely bad wig.
THE WICKER MAN is a strange movie. As a matter of fact, it seems to go out of its way to be as strange as possible. But it’s weirdness works in its favor as it definitely keeps you interested while you’re wondering what the hell is going on! Woodward is good as the puritanical policeman who is offended by everything he sees. Our family enjoyed THE EQUALIZER TV series when I was a teenager, and it was nice seeing a younger Woodward in this role. I’ve read that Christopher Lee considers this to be one of his greatest roles. It was sort of a passion project for the iconic actor, and you can certainly tell he’s enjoying himself. Director Robin Hardy somehow makes it all work right up to the film’s surprising conclusion.
Recommended!
Retro Television Review: Homicide: Life On The Street 1.8 “And the Rockets’ Dead Glare”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing Homicide: Life On The Street, which aired from 1993 to 1999, on NBC! It can be viewed on Peacock.
This week, Detective Munch takes a stand!
Episode 1.8 “And the Rockets’ Dead Glare”
(Dir by Peter Markle, originally aired on March 17th, 1993)
Is John Munch a stoner?
That’s the question that Stanley Bolander finds himself considering during this week’s episode of Homicide: Life On The Street. At a crime scene, Munch displays an encyclopedic knowledge of marijuana and later, while talking to a narcotics detective at the station house, both Munch and Bayliss argue that drugs should be legalized. That night, as they wait to bust a man who earlier killed a drug currier, Bolander flat out asks Munch if he gets high. Munch refuses to answer.
Of course, those of us watching already know. Of course, John Munch gets high! He’s played by Richard Belzer, the thin, middle-aged man who never takes off his sunglasses and who is continually rattling off trivial knowledge in a mellow tone of voice. Munch not only gets high but he was probably high through this entire episode. Whenever Munch appeared on another television show, he was probably high then. And when he eventually ended up on Law & Order: SVU, he was probably so stoned that I’m surprised Stabler didn’t put him in a headlock and start yelling about how he didn’t want Munch serving as a bad example for the youth of New York City.
There’s no surprise that Munch would be in favor of legalizing drugs. (It’s a bit more surprising that straight-laced Bayliss would agree but whatever.) What was surprising, to me, was how I reacted to his argument. There was a time when I was 100% enthusiastically in favor of legalizing all drugs, or at least leaving it up to individual states. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to realize that it’s not that simple. Legalizing drugs is not the societal cure-all that many of us assumed it would be. Then again, weed is kind of boring now that it’s socially acceptable so maybe the best way to keep people off of drugs is to broadcast nonstop YouTube commercials featuring middle-aged suburbanites talking about how much they love their edibles.
(To be honest, Munch and Bayliss’s sudden advocacy for drug legalization reminded me of one of the things that always makes me laugh about Law & Order, i.e. the tendency to have blue-collar cops, who are not exactly the most liberal of constituencies, suddenly start talking like MSNBC pundits.)
While Munch argued for drug legalization, Pembleton considered whether or not to accept a promotion, Kay testified in a murder trial and accepted the offer of a dinner date from State’s Attorney Ed Danvers (Zeljko Ivanek), and Corsetti and Lewis drove to Washington D.C. to investigate the murder of a Chinese dissident. Officially, they went to D.C. so that they could question the people at the Chinese embassy about the victim and the possibility that his murder was related to politics. However, the real reason they went to D.C. was so that Crosetti could visit some historical sites and expound on his theories about who really killed Abraham Lincoln. A somewhat sinister secret service agent (played by Ed Lauter) was happy to show them around in return for them not making trouble at the embassy. Crosetti was excited. Lewis was considerably less impressed. I enjoyed the DC storyline, if just because I’m both a history and a conspiracy nerd and, when Jeff and I last went to our nation’s capital, I got excited about seeing some of the same locations that Crosetti got excited about.
This episode was a day-in-the-life episode, with all of the detectives getting their share of attention. (Even Felton, who accompanied Kay to the courthouse, got a few moments to shine.) If the episode didn’t have the emotional impact of Night of the Dead Living, it still did a good job of portraying the comradery of a group of people who are linked by their knowledge of what it’s like to see others at their worst. In the end, Pembleton turns down the promotion and finally, joins his fellow detectives for an after-work drink. I’m glad he did. They’re good company.
JUBAL (1956) – Ford, Borgnine, Steiger, and Bronson star in a Shakespearean tragedy set in the old west!
In 2023, our family (parents, siblings, kids, nieces & nephews, everybody) took a vacation to the Grand Teton National Park. It was one of the most enjoyable vacations I’ve ever been on. Of course, this dad got on his family’s nerves by continuously referencing the film JUBAL since it was filmed with the Grand Tetons in the background. I just kept thinking about the fact that we were hanging out near a place where Glenn Ford, Ernest Borgnine, Rod Steiger, and Charles Bronson worked on one of my favorite westerns. For good measure I mentioned SHANE a few times as well since it was also filmed there.
Nice guy rancher Shep Horgan (Ernest Borgnine) finds Jubal Troop (Glenn Ford) injured and at the point of death. He takes Jubal back to his ranch and they nurse him back to health. The two men hit it off and soon Shep asks Jubal to be his foreman. This doesn’t set well at all with the duplicitous Pinky (Rod Steiger) who’s used to being in charge. It sets too well with Shep’s beautiful wife Mae (Valerie French) who takes the wrong kind of liking to Jubal, a habit that seems to keep rearing its head with the lonely lady. This eventually turns into a powder keg of betrayal, lies & misunderstandings. Charles Bronson has a small, but pivotal role as cowhand who’s there for Jubal when things get really rough.
I bought JUBAL on VHS early in my movie collecting days in the 80’s. Of course, they put Bronson’s face on the front of the box with the other stars, even though it was over-inflating the size of his role in the movie. But that’s okay because it was probably the first time a teenage Bradley ever watched a movie with old Hollywood stars like Ford, Borgnine & Steiger. I loved the movie, and I’ve since searched out each actor’s filmography to watch their best films. Steiger especially stands out as the evil Pinky. I’ve been a huge fan of his ever since.
JUBAL also turned me on to the director Delmer Daves. Daves is one of the great directors of that time period. It’s been nice seeing some of his work being released as part of the Criterion Collection. His other films include DARK PASSAGE with Humphrey Bogart, BROKEN ARROW with Jimmy Stewart, DRUM BEAT with Alan Ladd & Charles Bronson, THE LAST WAGON with Richard Widmark, and 3:10 TO YUMA again with Glenn Ford. Heck, the guy wrote the classic tearjerker AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER. The guy was awesome!
Just to finish off a little personal history related to our family’s trip to the Grand Tetons in 2023…. I recently took my blu-ray of JUBAL to my parents’ cabin and watched it with my Dad and Mom. Me and Dad looked at each other and smiled every time a beautiful shot of the Tetons was in the background, and those majestic mountains are featured in almost every shot. It was marvelous.
#SundayShorts with SPLIT SECOND!
Since Sunday is a day of rest for a lot of people, I present #SundayShorts, a weekly mini review of a movie I’ve recently watched.
Rutger Hauer chews the scenery in grand style as a badass London cop on the trail of a serial killer who rips the hearts out of the chest of its victims, is about 10 feet tall, and whose teeth appear to be that of a beastly monster. SPLIT SECOND is a fun mishmash of genres….part action, part horror, part comedy, and all entertainment! It’s especially enjoyable for fans of Hauer like me. It’s currently streaming on Amazon Prime, Pluto and Tubi.
Fast Facts:
- I saw SPLIT SECOND in a movie theater in Conway, Arkansas in 1992. I was the only person in the theater. It’s a fun movie, but it did not perform well at the box office, only earning $5.4 Million on a $7 Million budget.
- 1992 was a good year for Rutger Hauer. Not only did he star in SPLIT SECOND, he also starred as the head vampire Lothos in the movie version of BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER. Written by Joss Whedon, Hauer’s co-stars included Kristy Swanson, Luke Perry, Donald Sutherland & Paul Reubens (PeeWee Herman).
- Detective Dick Durkin is played by actor Alistair Duncan. When the movie was originally released in 1992, he was credited as Neil Duncan. Whatever his name, Mr. Duncan is absolutely hilarious in the film. His reaction when he first sees the creature is so good… “We need to get bigger guns. BIG F’ING GUNS!”
- The original script took place in Los Angeles and involved a ritualistic serial killer who murders five people every five years during the last quarter-century. The producers decided the script needed to be changed because the story was too similar to a film called THE FIRST POWER starring Lou Diamond Phillips. The script that was ultimately used for the movie was set in London, which was half under water due to global warming.
- If you like Kim Cattrall from SEX AND THE CITY, she’s in this. My wife thought that was interesting.
Recommended!
Through the Shattered Lens 