Today’s dance scene that I love comes from the 2009 musical Nine.
To be honest, Nine is a terrible film that almost plays like it was specifically designed to parody flashy but superficial musicals. However, Nine is meant to be taken seriously and that’s is its greatest failure. Cinema Italiano is one of Nine’s better-known songs, despite the fact that, in many ways, it epitomizes a lot of what’s wrong with the film as a whole. For one thing, it’s obvious, from the lyrics, that the song’s writer knows very little about Italian cinema. (If anything, it sounds like the song was meant to describe the French new wave.)
And yet, I have to admit that I love the scene where Kate Hudson performs Cinema Italiano. I think it’s because, even though Hudson is not a great singer, she so throws herself into her performance that she wins the viewers over. This is the epitome of a guilty pleasure, a scene that I shouldn’t love and yet I do.
Last night, before going on vacation, I watched the SyFy original movie, Ghost Shark.
Why Was I Watching It?
Every Saturday night, I watch and live tweet a SyFy movie with the Snarkalecs. Last night, we watched Ghost Shark. Seeing as Ghost Shark was going to be my last SyFy film to watch before going on vacation, I knew that both the film and the snarkiness would have to keep me satisfied for the next two weeks. Fortunately, both Ghost Shark and the Snarkalecs came through brilliantly!
What Was It About?
One of my huge problems with Sharknado is that, despite the title, there really wasn’t much tornado action. However, Ghost Shark lives up to its title. It’s called Ghost Shark and, by God, that’s what it’s about!
In short, a shark is killed by a bunch of rednecks who look like they’ve wandered over from an unaired episode of Duck Dynasty. However, the shark comes back and, as you might guess, it’s looking for vengeance. As a ghost, the shark has the ability to manifest itself out of any body of water and soon, it’s popping up in toilets, swimming pools, sinks, water slides, and an open fire hydrant. (As the film’s brilliant tagline put it — “If you get wet, you die.” Seriously, I would be so dead.) It’s up to Ava (Mackenzie Rosman) and the town drunk (Richard Moll) to figure out how to stop the Ghost Shark!
What Worked?
Even if I hadn’t known beforehand, I would have guessed that Griff Furst had directed Ghost Shark. Of all the directors who regularly direct films for the SyFy network, Furst is one of the best. Along with making good use of his trademark Louisiana locations, Furst also knows how to maintain the perfect balance of excitement and humor.
It should also be noted that Ghost Shark is one of the few films where you really can’t predict who is going to survive and who is going to end up as sharkbait. One reason why the ghost shark is an effective monster is because he will literally eat anyone, even characters who — in other films — would automatically be spared of any danger.
On a personal note, I have to say that the Snarkalecs were on fire last night. Kelly Thul, in particular, earned a spot in the hall of fame for commenting, about two characters who had just gotten the upper halves of their bodies chomped off by the ghost shark, “They’re waisted!”
What Did Not Work?
It all worked. Seriously, this was the best SyFy film since End of the World. And, in case you were curious, it’s a hundred times better than Sharknado.
“Oh my God!” Just Like Me Moments
At one point, one future victim said, “It’s too hot to be a virgin” and if I had a dollar for every time I’ve used those exact same words, I would be one rich redhead.
Also, I related to the scene where the sprinklers go off in the local museum and end up soaking every character there. Museums always get me wet too. What can I say? I love history.
If Luis Buñuel had ever made a slasher film, it would probably have been a lot like You’re Next.
You’re Next tells the story of the ill-fated Davison clan. Paul (Rob Moran) has recently retired from his job as a defense contractor and now, he and his wife, Aubrey (Barbara Crampton) are looking forward to celebrating their anniversary at their isolated vacation home. Soon after they arrive at the house, Aubrey is convinced that she can hear someone else in the house. However, since the frail Aubrey is obviously emotionally unstable, Paul dismisses her concerns.
Over the course of the day, Paul and Aubrey’s children arrive at the house. Though, in the best tradition of all troubled families, the Davisons attempt to maintain a facade of peace and harmony, it quickly becomes clear that each member of the family is dealing with his or her own issues and petty jealousies.
For instance, oldest son Drake (Joe Swanberg) obviously feels that he’s superior to his siblings. His wife, Kelly (Margaret Laney), is just as obviously unhappy with their marriage.
Crispian (A.J. Bowen) is a neurotic academic who is struggling financially and is viewed as being a weakling by the rest of his family. His girlfriend, Erin (Sharni Vinson) has a secret in her past that will become unexpectedly important as the day progresses.
Daughter Aimee (played by Amy Seimetz, who was so good earlier this year in Upstream Color) tries so hard to be cheerful that you know that she has to be secretly be on the verge of having a nervous breakdown. Her boyfriend, Tariq (Ti West), is a struggling filmmaker who is scandalized to discover that Drake prefers to watch commercials as opposed to documentaries.
Finally, there’s the youngest son, Felix (Nicholas Tucci). Felix appears to be the most well-adjusted of all of the Davison children but his quiet girlfriend Zee (Wendy Glenn) is a different story.
Once the family has gathered together for the anniversary dinner, the bickering begins. What the family don’t realize is that a group of men (all of whom wear animal masks) have previously slaughtered the neighbors and have now surrounded the Davison house. The bickering is interrupted by a brutal attack that leaves one dead, one seriously injured, and the rest of the family fighting for their lives.
You’re Next starts out as an effective but rather standard home invasion film (think of The Strangers or even Michael Haneke’s Funny Games) but the film features two twists which set it apart.
The first twist is that Erin turns out to be as effective and determined a killer as the men laying siege to the house. I’ve sat through a lot of horror movies and I love movies where women get to kick ass and I can tell you, without fear of contradiction, that there’s probably no other horror heroine who kicks as much ass as Erin. As played by Sharni Vinson, Erin is destined to become an iconic character in the history of horror.
The other twist is one that I can’t tell you about because it’s this twist that literally turns the entire film upside down. What I can tell you is that this twist forces you to reconsider everything that you’ve seen up until that point. Most impressively, director Adam Wingard reveals this twist to us long before he reveals it to the film’s characters. As such, just when the viewer is getting used to the idea of You’re Next being just another home invasion film, a whole new element of suspense is added to the story.
Some reviewers have referred to You’re Next as being a comedy. I disagree, if just because the film’s violence is too brutal and the gore is too graphic for this film to be considered anything other than primarily a horror film. That said, there is a strain of dark humor that runs through the film and occasionally provides a much needed relief from the nonstop tension onscreen. A good deal of the film’s humor comes from just how incredibly screwed-up the Davison family is, even before they find themselves under attack. This is a family of people who, even while they’re trying to plot their escape from the house, can not resist getting into argument about who can run the fastest.
Ultimately, You’re Next works as both a brutally effective horror film and as a satirical portrait of an All-American family that’s secretly so dysfunctional that — even if they weren’t being attacked by masked men with crossbows — they probably would have eventually ended up killing each other anyway. It’s a genre film that manages to transcend the rules of genre even while embracing them. In a year that, so far, has been dominated by surprisingly intelligent and effective horror films, You’re Next is one of the best.
If I could be any character from a silent film, I would want to be Betty Lou Spence, the heroine of the classic 1927 film, It.
As played by the beautiful Clara Bow, Betty has It. What is It, you may ask? That’s the question that this film sets out to answer. The movie starts out with a title card that read, “That quality possessed by some which draws all others with its magnetic force. With ‘It’ you win all men if you are a woman and all women if you are a man. ‘It’ can be a quality of the mind as well as a physical attraction.” Throughout the film, every man who sets his eyes on Betty automatically says that she has “it.” Though the film never explicitly says so, it’s pretty obvious that “It” is a combination of sensuality, intelligence, and inner strength.
It is sex.
And yes, since she’s played by Clara Bow, Betty Lou Spencer definitely has ‘it’ and she knows what to do with it as well.
However, one thing that Betty doesn’t have is a lot of money. Instead, she’s a proud and poor shopgirl who sets her sights on her wealthy and handsome employer, Cyrus Waltham (played by Antonio Moreno). Realizing that the uptight Cyrus will never notice her while at work, Betty accepts a date with Cyrus’s irresponsible best friend Monty (William Austin). Knowing that Cyrus and his girlfriend will also be there, Betty asks Monty to take her to a fancy restaurant. While Monty orders their food, Betty stares shocked at the high prices on the menu. Why just the appetizers cost $2.00!
Ah, 1927.
Eventually, Betty does manage to get Cyrus’s attention. After spending a day slumming with her down on Coney Island, Cyrus attempts to kiss Betty. Betty responds by slapping him and telling him, “So, you’re one of those minute men — the minute you meet a girl, you think you can kiss her!”
The next day, things get a bit more complicated when Betty discovers that two social workers have shown up at the apartment of her best friend, Molly (Priscilla Bonner). Molly is a single mother and the social workers have shown up to take away her baby. Betty boldly steps forward, claiming that she is the baby’s true mother and that, since she has a job, the social works have no reason to take away her baby.
One of the snooty social workers (who, needless to say, does not have it) stares down here nose at Betty and asks, “And where is your husband?”
Betty stares straight back at her and replies, “That’s none of your business.”
Seriously, nobody tells Betty Lou Spence what to do.
Since this movie was made in 1927, everyone is scandalized. Cyrus, obviously miffed that he couldn’t even get a kiss from an unwed mother, dumps her. Betty responds by quitting her job. A title card informs us that Betty may have needed the money but her pride was far more important to her. What makes this movie unique, especially when compared to even some contemporary films, is that Betty is not punished for putting her pride before money or romance. Instead, the film celebrates her independence.
The rest of the film deals with her getting her own brand of vengeance on Cyrus. In the end, Betty gets her man but she gets him on her own terms. Again, take a minute to consider that this film, made nearly 90 years ago, not only features a liberated woman but celebrates her as well.
After this film, Clara Bow became known as the “It Girl,” and it’s easy to see why. In the role of Betty Lou Spence, Bow epitomizes the perfect combination of outward sensuality and inward strength. Whether she’s sarcastically telling off a rude customer, defending her best friend, or saving the life of her romantic rival, Clara Bow epitomizes both sex and independence. In the end, she pursues her man not out of obligation but out of desire. When she does find her happy ending, she finds it on her own terms.
Those of us in 2013 have a lot to learn from the It Girl of 1927.
However, though I’ll be away for two weeks, I’m not going to let that stop me from sharing my thoughts here on the Shattered Lens. What can I say? I love film, I love this site, and, most importantly, I love our readers.
Now, if you know me, you know that I also love to dance.
So, I figured, why not combine my greatest loves? For then next two weeks, I will be sharing a special set of scenes that I love. These are some of my favorite dance scenes.
I’d like to start things off by sharing a scene from my favorite film of 2012. This deliriously romantic dance scene comes from Joe Wright’s brilliant adaptation of Anna Karenina and features Keira Knightley and Aaron Taylor-Johnson.
About halfway through the new biopic Lovelace, there’s a scene where former porno actress Linda Lovelace (played by Amanda Seyfried) is hooked up to a lie detector. The polygraph examiner explains that he’s going to ask Linda a few test questions to get a reading.
“Is your name Linda Lovelace?” he asks.
Visibly nervous, Linda replies, “Can you ask something simpler?”
It’s a great scene because it establishes the central mystery of both the film and the title character.
Just who exactly was Linda Lovelace?
A girl whose main talent was apparently giving head, Lovelace became a star in the 70s when she starred in Deep Throat, the first (and perhaps only) hardcore film to become a legitimate mainstream hit. For a brief while, Lovelace was the face of the American sex industry. However, her attempts to have a mainstream film career failed and Lovelace retreated into obscurity.
Several years later, she wrote a book called Ordeal. In Ordeal, Lovelace claimed that she was forced, by her abusive husband, to perform in Deep Throat. Whereas Lovelace, during her brief stardom, originally claimed to simply be a sexual adventurer who performed on camera because it was liberating, the post-stardom Lovelace presented herself as being a brainwashed victim. Or, as Lovelace herself put it, “When you watch Deep Throat, you’re watching me getting raped.” While several people disputed the authenticity of Ordeal, Lovelace herself passed a polygraph examination. Lovelace then became an anti-pornography activist before, once again, descending into obscurity and eventually dying in an automotive accident in 2002.
Lovelace deals with the issue of figuring out just who Linda Lovelace was by basically telling her story twice.
During the first 45 minutes of the film, we see how young Linda Boreman first meets Chuck Traynor (Peter Sarsgaard). Everything about Chuck — from his mustache to his perm to his flashy clothes — practically screams sleaze but, since he’s played by Peter Sarsgaard, he also has an undeniable charm. (With this film and An Education, Sarsgaard has proven himself to be the definitive older man who your parents warned you about.) Chuck and Linda eventually marry and, when they need money, Linda turns to “acting” in order to pay the bills.
Under the watchful eye of producers Bobby Cannavale and Chris Noth, director Hank Azaria, and co-star Adam Brody, Linda stars in Deep Throat and becomes the face of the sexual revolution. While there are occasional hints that things might not be perfect (bruises are often visible on Linda’s arms and legs), Linda seems to truly love the spotlight. Even Hugh Hefner (played by James Franco, who is way too hot to only have a cameo) says she’s going to be a huge star.
And then, rather abruptly, we jump forward six years. Linda is now writing Ordeal and we once again see how she first married Chuck Traynor, starred in Deep Throat, and came to be a star.. However, we now see the story through her eyes. We see that Chuck wasn’t just controlling but that he was also an abusive psychopath who would hold a gun to her head in order to get a performance out of her. We see that, during the shooting of Deep Throat, she was regularly beaten by her husband. We see Linda attempting to reconnect with her strict and tradition parents (played by Sharon Stone and Robert Patrick). We see the ugliness that was hidden underneath the glamour.
Considering the subject matter and the talent involved, Lovelace should have been one of the most interesting films of 2013 but, unfortunately, the two separate halves of the film just don’t come together. While the first half of the film does a good job of capturing the absurdity of sudden fame, the second half of the film falls apart.
Oddly enough, Chuck Traynor and Linda Lovelace only come across as real human beings during the superficial first half of the film. During the second half of the film, both Chuck and Linda come across as one-dimensional ciphers. Linda becomes such a total victim and Chuck becomes such a melodramatic villain that neither one of them is all that compelling as a character. Instead of being disturbing and revealing, the second half of the film just feels like another generic film about the price of fame.
Most of what I know about Linda Lovelace and Chuck Traynor comes from two sources — the 2005 documentary Inside Deep Throat and Legs McNiel’s and Jennifer Osborne’s book The Other Hollywood. In both the book and the documentary, Lovelace comes across as being a rather pathetic figure who was exploited by both the adult film industry and the anti-pornography activists who used her as a symbol. Both the industry and the activists abandoned Linda once her novelty was gone. Ironically, even though both the documentary and the book are rather critical of her, it is there that she comes across as a far more interesting, sympathetic, and ultimately tragic figure than she does in this biopic.
With all that in mind, Lovelace is not necessarily a failure as a film. The 70s are convincingly recreated and there’s a few scenes that hint at the type of film that this could have been if the filmmakers had been willing to take a few more risks.
The film is also full of excellent performances. Seyfried is sympathetic and believable as Linda and, up until the second half of the film requires him to abandon all shades of ambiguity, Sarsgaard perfectly captures the sleazy charm that someone like Chuck Traynor would need to survive. As Linda’s strict mother, Sharon Stone is surprisingly strong. Just watch the scene where Linda’s mom explains to her that she has to go back to abusive husband because that’s what marriage is all about and you’ll see an example of great acting. Even better is Robert Patrick, who brings a poignant sadness to the role of Linda’s father. The scene where he tells Linda that he saw her on film is heartbreaking.
Lovelace is a film of hits and misses. Sadly, it misses the big picture but a few individual parts and performances are strong enough to justify sacrificing spending 93 minutes to watch it.
I am as shocked as anyone to admit that I’m really looking forward to seeing a movie about a man who is addicted to online pornography. However, in the case of Don John, it helps that the addict is played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt (who also makes his directorial debut with this film). Add to that, how can you not be excited about seeing Robin and the Black Widow fall in love on the big screen?
Directed by actor John Turturro, Fading Gigolo has recently been getting a lot of buzz. Some people have even speculated that it might get Woody Allen an acting nomination to go along with all of the probable nominations for Blue Jasmine. All I know is that Fading Gigolo sounds like a bit of an over descriptive title.
First released in 1956, Indestructible Man is a low-budget B-movie that, as a result of being in the public domain, has been released on DVD by several different companies and seems to be included in just about every other compilation box set released by the folks at Mill Creek. Perhaps because it stars Lon Chaney, Jr., it also seems to turn up on TCM fairly regularly. That’s how I first saw it.
Whenever anyone mentions the film Indestructible Man to me, I always think about … well, actually no one ever mentions Indestructible Man to me. But if they did, I would probably always remember one scene in particular. It comes towards the end of the film. Detective Dick Chasen (Max Showalter) has managed to solve the mystery of the Indestructible Man. He celebrates by going out with his new girlfriend, a burlesque dancer played by Marian Carr. Sitting there in the car, illuminated by the romantic glow of the moon, Detective Chasen informs her that he’s gotten her fired from her job because she’s going to be way too busy being his wife to have a career. “Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t say no!” his girlfriend responds.
Don’t believe me? Watch for yourself. From Indestructible Man, here’s one of the most sexist scenes in film history…
Up until that ending, Indestructible Man tells the story of Charles “Butcher” Benson (Lon Chaney, Jr). As you might guess from his nickname, Butcher isn’t a nice guy. In fact, he’s a career criminal who is sitting on death row in California. He’s been double-crossed by his criminal partners (who include both a lawyer and a guy named Squeamy, so you know they’re bad) and, from his prison cell, he swears that he will have his revenge.
And then he’s promptly executed.
However, his body is donated to science. Scientist Robert Shaye is investigating whether or not massive electrical shock can be utilized to cure cancer. When he and his assistant (Joe Flynn) shock the Butcher’s corpse, the Butcher comes back to life and starts to wander around the laboratory. Shaye attempts to give him a shot but the hypodermic needle snaps when pressed against the Butcher’s skin. The Butcher proceeds to strangle both the scientist and his assistant…
What’s going on? Well, fortunately, this film is narrated by Detective Dick Chasen (and yes, that is the character’s name and that’s all I’m going to say about it). Dick Chasen explains to us that 1) the electrical shock fried Butcher’s vocal chords and rendered him mute and that 2) the shock caused Butcher’s cells to multiply at such a rate that he is now …. INDESTRUCTIBLE!
Anyway, Butcher proceeds to spend the rest of the movie tracking down and murdering his former criminal associates. Even before you reach the most sexist ending in the history of American cinema, it’s all rather silly. It’s also rather slow. The film lasts 70 minutes and I would say that 20 of those minutes consist of pure padding.
However, as often happened with B-movies, the low budget occasionally works to the film’s advantage. The flat black-and-white and the stark sets may have been an unintentional consequence of economic reality but, at the same time, they give the film a much needed edge.
Much as the low budget accidentally worked to the film’s advantage, so to did the personal demons of Lon Chaney, Jr. contribute to making him into a surprisingly effective and disturbingly believable killer. Though he’s best remembered for playing the handsome and soulful Larry Talbot in the original Wolf Man, by the time Lon Chaney, Jr. made Indestructible Man, years of drinking, smoking, and self-destructive behavior had caught up with the former matinée idol. Chaney’s ravaged face, marked by deep lines and sporting a permanently grim expression, makes him perfect for this role. The highest praise that I can pay to Chaney’s performance is that you look at him and you truly believe that his character would be nicknamed Butcher.
As I stated at the start of this review, Indestructible Man is in the public domain and it’s fairly easy to track down. For that matter, you can always watch it below.
And just remember … you’re not supposed to say no to a detective…
