Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 5.12 “It’s A Dog’s Life”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week’s episode is a strange one.

Episode 5.12 “It’s A Dog’s Life”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on July 28th, 1989)

One night, after Jonathan foils a mugging by using “the stuff” to turn the mugger’s gun into a water pistol, Mark sits down on a curb, lies down in the grass, and bemoans that he never gets to do anything on his own.  He never gets “the stuff.”  He has to worry about his health while Jonathan, already being dead, cannot be hurt again.  Why, he wonders aloud, does he always have to be “Jonathan’s dog?”

When Mark opens his eyes, Jonathan is gone.  However, there is a dog sitting next to him.  Convinced that the Boss has 1) turned Jonathan into a dog and 2) given Mark “the stuff,” Mark proceeds to reunite a runaway with his family and he also thwarts a convenience store robbery.  When the dog indicates that it wants to live with the runaway and his family, Mark sadly returns to the shabby hotel where he and Jonathan were staying.  He sees a man standing out on a ledge, threatening to jump.

“My first solo assignment!” Mark says.

Mark runs upstairs and climbs out onto the ledge.  He tells the suicidal man that he has no fear of falling because he has the stuff.  Suddenly, Jonathan appears and tells Mark to get back inside before he falls.  Jonathan reveals that Mark never  had the stuff and that Jonathan was never a dog.  Instead, Jonathan was just off on another assignment.

Mark falls off the ledge.

Oh no, Mark’s dead!

No, actually Mark is dreaming.  Mark wakes up in his hotel room and realizes that Jonathan is gone.  But the dog is taking a bath….

And the episode ends!

The second-to-last episode of Highway to Heaven is an odd one.  With Jonathan gone for the majority of the episode, Victor French gets the opportunity to carry a story on his own.  Sadly, French himself would die before this episode aired.  Unfortunately, while French is fine in this episode, the story itself is presented in the rather cartoonish style that Highway to Heaven always used whenever it featured a comedic episode.  The runaway’s mother is portrayed as being such a loon that’s hard not to think that the kid would be better off on his own.  As well — is Jonathan a dog or not!?  The episode’s refusal to answer this question is a bit annoying.

Next week, we will finish up Highway to Heaven with the show’s final episode.

Cage (1989, directed by Lang Elliott)


As with so many stories, it all starts with Vietnam.

In 1969, soldier Billy Thomas (Lou Ferrigno) heroically saves the life of his captain, Scott Monroe (Reb Brown).  Unfortunately, while their helicopter is taking off, Billy takes a bullet to the head.  While he survives the wound, he is left with the mind of a child.  Scott dedicates his life to taking care of Billy and, after the war, they open a bar together.  However, mobster Tony Baccola (Michael Dante) feels that Billy would be the perfect contestant for a series of fight-to-death cage matches that have been set up by Chinese gangster Tin Lum Yin (James Shigeta).  In desperate need of money, Tony kidnaps Billy and forces him to fight, telling him that it’s what Scott needs him to do.  Billy doesn’t want to fight and, when he first enters the cage, he says, “Hi, how are you?” and tries to shake his opponent’s hand.  But when his opponents try to hit Billy, he has no choice but to defend himself.  It’s up to Scott to rescue his friend.

The plot of this movie is pretty dumb but I’m not embarrassed to say that the film itself won me over.  The fights were decent but the main reason why the movie works is because of Lou Ferrigno and Reb Brown, who made their friendship and their bond feel very real.  Ferrigno was especially good in this film.  How can you not root for a guy who just wants to be everyone’s friend and who, even after his twelfth cage match, still gets upset over having to hit people?

A pure B-movie all the way, Cage also features familiar faces like Branscombe Richmond, Al Leong, and Danny Trejo.  Most of the critics may not have liked it but Ferrigno has described Cage as being his his favorite film performance and I agree.