Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 2.15 “Attack”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu and, for purchase, on Prime!

This week, the identity of the Ski Mask Rapist is revealed.

Episode 2.15 “Attack”

(Dir by Kevin Hooks, originally aired on February 22nd, 1984)

The Ski Mask Rapist is continuing to attack.  Off-screen, a pharmacist is assaulted while trying to catch her train.  In the hospital, a candy striper gets lost in the cavernous building and is attacked in a storage room.  When Shirley Daniels enters the storage room, she’s startled by a man wearing a pest control outfit.  She sprays him with her mace but is later told that the police do not believe that he was the rapist.  Instead, he was just a man trying to steal drugs.  When Fiscus tries to put together a list of men who will walk the women to their cars, Dr. Cavanero tells him that one of the men on his list could very well be the rapist.

Amongst themselves, the women who work at St. Eligius debate what they would do if they are attacked.  Shirley carries her mace.  Wendy says that she would use her keys as a weapon.  Jacqueline Wade says that women who don’t struggle and just submit have a better chance of surviving.  Dr. Cavanero dumps her insensitive boyfriend after he offers up a half-hearted, insincere apology for trying to force himself on her during the previous episode.  The head of the hospital’s security gives a lecture and makes the women feel like the attacks are somehow their fault.  “There’s no need to get hysterical,” he says.

(Myself, I carry mace.  I’m always scared that I’ll accidentally spray myself in the face with it but still, I carry it.)

Kathy Martin turns down the offer of a rape whistle, saying that carrying it would give her the aura of a victim.  As the episode ends, she’s attacked in the morgue.  She manages to push up the ski mask, revealing the face of …. Peter White.

It’s not really a surprise that Peter turned out to be the rapist.  I suspected it was him last week.  Rape may be classified as a sex crime but ultimately, it’s about power.  The weakest men are rapists and there’s no man on this show who is weaker than Peter White.  Before Peter attacks Kathy, we see him with a prostitute who tells him that it’s okay that he couldn’t get it up.  Peter mentions that it’s his anniversary.  Peter is weak and, looking back at the the moment he first appeared during the first season (begging Dr. Morrison to cover for him), it’s obvious that the series has been building up to the moment that he loses control.

There were other things that happened during this episode.  Geraldine Fitzgerald played a patient who Auschlander dated in his younger days.  (Now, she’s a drug addict.)  Victor and Roberta returned from their honeymoon, Victor with a painful sunburn and Roberta with a host of problems that she accidentally broadcast to the entire hospital while talking to her friend in the front office.  (You have to make sure the PA is turned off before talking about your sex life, folks.)  There was a humorous scene in which Dr. Ridley got into an argument with Roberta’s psychiatrist (Philip Sterling).  Dr. Morrison tried to figure out why his latest patient (Dan Hedaya) was suffering from sudden bouts of blindness.

In the end, though, this was a grim episode and not always an easy one for me to watch.  Honestly, if I had been a nurse or a doctor at that hospital, I would have walked as soon as it became apparent that the Ski Mask Rapist was someone inside the building.  I would have gone home and refused to come back until they caught the guy.

Kathy saw Peter’s face as he attacked her.  I fear what’s waiting for me on next week’s episode.

Live Tweet Alert: Join #FridayNightFlix for Conquest!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly watch parties.  On Twitter, I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday and I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday.  On Mastodon, I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 10 pm et, I will be hosting #FridayNightFlix!  The movie?  Lucio Fucli’s Conquest!

If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 10 pm et, and use the #FridayNightFlix hashtag!  I’ll be there happily tweeting.  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Conquest is available on Prime and Tubi!

See you there!

4 Shots From 4 Shows: Special Television Edition


4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films is all about letting the visuals do the talking.

Welcome to a special TV edition of 4 Shots From 4 Films!

4 Shots From 4 Shows

Degrassi: The Next Generation: Time Stands Still Part One (2004, dir by Stefan Scaini)

Degrassi: The Next Generation: Time Stands Still Part One (2004, dir by Stefan Scaini)

Lost: The End (2010, dir by Jack Bender)

Lost: The End (2010, dir by Jack Bender)

Community: Modern Warfare (2010, dir by Justin Lin)

Community: Modern Warfare (2010, dir by Justin Lin)

Ringer: Pilot (2011, dir by Richard Shepard)

Ringer: Pilot (2011, dir by Richard Shepard)

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 4.13 “A Mother’s Love”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Mark is abandoned in the park.

Episode 4.13 “A Mother’s Love”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on January 6th, 1988)

It’s time for Jonathan and Mark to start a new assignment!  This week, Jonathan gets to be a teacher (again!) and Mark gets to be …. homeless.

Seriously, Mark is dropped off in the park and told to live there.  Eventually, Jonathan shows up and gives Mark a tent and some cooking supplies.  That was nice of him but still, you have to wonder why Mark always seems to get assignments that are designed to aggravate him.  “Thanks for giving up your independence to work with my angel,” the show’s version of God seems to be saying, “Now, here …. go live in the park.”

Also living in the park are four brothers whose mother has recently died.  They’re living in a van and are trying to not get sent to foster care.  Fortunately, there’s a teacher at Jonathan’s new school who regrets that she never had a family.  Guess who is going to end up adopting four kids!

This was pretty much the epitome of Highway to Heaven, sweet-natured, sentimental, shamelessly manipulative, and so earnest that it worked even when it shouldn’t have.  That said, I hope Jonathan will put a good word in for Mark.  The guy deserves at least one easy week!

Retro Television Review: Decoy 1.3 “The Phoner”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958.  The show can be viewed on Tubi!

This week, Casey help to stop an obscene phone caller.

Episode 1.3 “The Phoner”

(Dir by Teddy Sills, originally aired on October 28th, 1957)

Betty Hodges (Pat Englund) has been getting obscene phone calls.  It’s the 1950s.  That means there’s no caller ID, there’s no cell towers to ping signals off of, there’s no way to block a number, the phone rings until its answered, and every call is made and taken on a landline phone.  This is the era when most calls were still connected by an operator.  Terrified of the calls but determined not to be chased out of the city like so many other young women who have targeted by the so-called Phoner, Betty calls the police.  Casey (Beverly Garland) moves in with Betty, pretending to be her sister.  When the phone rings, it’s Casey who will answer and it’s Casey who will have to keep the guy talking for five minutes while the phone company traces the call.

We don’t ever learn the name of the man making the calls.  In the credits, he’s listed as the Phoner.  Played by Frank Sutton, the Phoner is a sweaty man who makes his calls from a phone booth and who brags about how many girlfriends he claims to have  had.  (He’s the 50s version of an incel.)  We’re told that he says disturbingly obscene things over the phone but, this being a 50s show, we don’t hear any of them.  Of course, we don’t have to hear them.  Betty’s terrified reactions are all we need to see.

Eventually, Betty is attacked leaving work.  She stumbles out of an alley, her face beaten and her clothes torn.  And again, it’s the 50s.  So all we hear is that Betty has been attacked but anyone watching would understand what had happened.  In the hospital, Betty whispers to Casey.  When Casey is asked what Betty said, Casey replies, “She wishes she was dead.”

Eventually, the Phoner calls Casey back.  They set up a date in the park.  The Phoner doesn’t show up at the park but he does show up at the apartment later.  After a struggle, he’s subdued by Casey and the other cops watching the apartment.  Even though common sense tells the viewer that nothing too bad is going to happen to the show’s lead character, it’s still a tense scene, largely because of Frank Sutton’s feral performance as the Phoner.

This is a poignant episode, even if it did obviously have to hold back due to the censorship rules of the time.  Just as frightening as Sutton was as the Phoner, Garland was equally impressive as the determined Casey.  If I did have any problem with this episode, it’s that when she’s initially confronted by the Phoner, Casey doesn’t recognize his voice.  When a man threatens you, you never forget the voice.

This was a good episode.  Hopefully, the Phoner died in prison.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Brian De Palma Edition


4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today is the birthday of Brian De Palma and that means that it is time for….

4 Shots From 4 Brian De Palma Films

Carrie (1976, dir by Brian De Palma, DP: Mario Tosi)

Dressed to Kill (1980, dir by Brian De Palma, DP: Ralf D. Bode)

Blow Out (1981, dir by Brian De Palma, DP: Vilmos Zsigmond)

Scarface (1983, dir by Brian De Palma, DP: John A. Alonzo)

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & 10 1.9 “I Only Read Defenses”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

Larry can’t read!

Episode 1.9 “I Only Read Defenses”

(Dir by Bruce Seth Green, originally aired on January 20th, 1985)

Larry, a veteran wide receiver on the Bulls, is informed that this will be his final season.  He’s played ten years and he’s given his heart to the game.  With his reputation for pulling pranks, he’s a popular guy in the locker room.  But, the time has come for Larry to move on.  Diane arranges for Larry to have a job interview with a PR firm.  Larry doesn’t show up for the interview.

“I can’t read!” Larry says when Diane confronts him.

“You’re a college graduate!” Diane exclaimed.

“I majored in football!” Larry replies.

What a sad story!  That said, it’s one that seems to happen a lot in real life.  As long as the plays are being made on the field, many colleges don’t worry about whether or not their players are graduating with the skills to earn a living once they stop playing.  Of course, as far as this show is concerned, the story would have been even sadder if we had ever seen or heard about Larry before this episode.  Seriously, Larry pops up out of nowhere and the viewer is just expected to act as if he’s been there the entire time.

At the end of the episode, Larry catches a game-winning pass and ensures the Bulls will be going to the playoffs.  Yay!  Larry also reveals to Diane that he’s enrolled in a course to learn how to read.  Yay again!  “Some of the guys in there are even older than me,” Larry says.

Meanwhile, the Arcola brothers are threatening to kill Roger again.  Roger has been pimping out two of the cheerleaders to members of the Arcola Crime Family.  Ruta fires one of the cheerleader and the other decides that she no longer wants to be treated like a prostitute.  Good for her!  Again, this is a storyline that would have been very effective if not for the fact that we’ve never seen these cheerleaders before.  One gets the feeling that the main cast wanted a week off so production came up with a collection of new characters to center the show around.

Next week — who knows?  I assume some football will be played.

 

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 6.16 “Doc’s Big Case/Senior Sinners/A Booming Romance”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

Love won’t hurt anymore….

Episode 6.16 “Doc’s Big Case/Senior Sinners/A Booming Romnace”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on January 22nd, 1983)

As usual, this episode has three stories.  However, this week, only one of the stories really works.

Dr. Elliott Norton (James Noble) attended medical school with Doc.  He is a world-renowned surgeon who has written a best-selling book and, as soon as he boards the boat, ol’ Doc Bricker starts to feel insecure.  It’s easy to see why.  Dr. Norton performs life-saving surgery on a daily basis.  Doc Bricker helps people recover from severe sun tan.  The fact that everyone on board wants Norton’s autograph doesn’t help.  Vicki is supposed to be writing a report on Doc but even Doc is like, “You should probably do it on Elliott.”

However, when a little girl (played by Tori Spelling, in what must have been one of the first roles that Aaron Spelling demanded she be cast in) asks Doc to diagnose what’s wrong with her doll, Bricker quickly figures out that both the doll and the girl are depressed because they’re not spending enough time with their father.  Norton may be getting the groupies but Doc Bricker gets invited to a tea party with the girl, her father, and the doll.

I’m sorry, are you smirking?

Okay, it is pretty silly.  Normally, I would smirk too but you know what?  Bernie Kopell really makes this story work.  In many ways, Doctor Adam Bricker was a bit of silly character, a supposed swinger who always came across as being rather mild-mannered and kind of conservative.  But Bernie Kopell was so likable in the role that it didn’t matter that the character often didn’t make much sense.  In this episode, Kopell does such a good job of playing up the character’s insecurities and regrets that my heart actually broke for the poor guy.  Was the tea party silly?  Yes.  But I still cheered when he was invited.

As for the other two stories, one featured Raymond St. Jacques and Theresa Merritt playing an elderly couple who were living together without being married.  Their children (played Brian Stokes Mitchell and Thelma Hopkins) were scandalized!  It was pretty boring.  The children weren’t particularly likable so I was kind of hoping the parents would just toss them overboard.

The final story …. I don’t even know how to describe it other than to say it was dumb.  Ross (Alan Young) wants to impress Kathy (Holland Taylor) and keep her from running off with Bob (Adam West, who was severely underused).  So, Ross builds a fake bomb, hides it in the engine room, pretends to discover it, and then defuses it while Kathy watches.  I mean, how am I supposed to care about someone who would do something that stupid?  And then, when Ross confesses the truth to her, Kathy laughs it off and forgives him.  I mean, it seems like he’s an obvious sociopath to me.  Run, Kathy, run!

This was an uneven episode but seriously, the story with Doc Bricker got to me.  This show was very lucky to have Bernie Kopell.