Tag Archives: Lifetime

Lifetime Film Review: The Wrong Cheerleader Coach (dir by David DeCoteau)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

“You messed with the wrong cheerleader coach!”

Okay, so no one actually says that in this film, which is a bit of a shame.  Still, I absolutely loved The Wrong Cheerleader Coach, a film about what happens when the new assistant cheerleading coach at the local high school becomes obsessed with the father of one of her cheerleaders.  Let’s just say that things don’t go well but everyone still remains very enthusiastic and full of pep and vigor.

In this case, the wrong cheerleader coach is Devan (Johanna Liauw), who offers private lessons to Hanna (Madi Burton).  It’s not because Devan cares about whether or not Hanna makes the squad.  Instead, it’s because Devan is obsessed with Hanna’s father, a widower and construction worker named Jon (Corin Nemec).  When Devan discovers that John is actually dating a woman who wears glasses, Devan goes out and buys some glasses for herself.  I have to applaud Devan for taking that extra step.  My eyesight is terrible and getting worse by the day.  I usually wear contacts but I may start wearing my glasses just because Devan and Jon’s girlfriend, Melissa (Bailey Kai), make them look so cool.

Anyway, Devan is obsessed with Jon but when Jon basically says, “I don’t like you and stay the Hell away from my daughter,” Devan goes all crazy.  It’s unfortunate because Devan really does appear to be a good coach but the whole psycho thing will probably keep her from moving forward in her profession.  I mean, Hanna does become a much better cheerleader as a result of working with Devan.

This is one of Lifetime’s “Wrong” movies.  All of these films are directed by David DeCoteau and they all feature Vivica A. Fox in a supporting role.  This time, Fox plays the head cheerleading coach, the one who gives Devan a stern talking to when Devan starts to lose her mind.  Also appearing in the film is Tara Reid, who has a cameo as a former co-worker of Devan’s.  It’s a bit of Sharknado reunion, as both Fox and Reid appeared in that classic franchise.  (That said, Reid and Fox actually share any scenes in The Wrong Cheerleader Coach so don’t watch this film expecting to hear random jokes about flying sharks.)

Anyway, I always enjoy the “Wrong” films because they always seem to feature a big house and a lot of melodrama.  That’s certainly the case with The Wrong Cheerleader Coach.  In fact, one could say that this film is absolutely shameless in the way that it embraces the melodrama but that’s a good thing!  There’s enough shame in the world.  The “Wrong” films are unapologetically over-the-top and kitschy and it’s impossible not to love them.

The Wrong Cheerleader Coach is fun.  It’s got Corin Nemec, who is one of the most likable actors on the planet.  And it’s got Vivica A. Fox playing yet another no-nonsense authority figure, which is a role that she plays very well.  In the role of Devan, Johanna Liauw goes crazy with class.  It’s a fun movie.

Lifetime Film Review: My Nightmare Landlord (dir by Dylan Vox)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

So, put yourself in Lydia’s situation.

Lydia (played by Caroline Harris) is a student at the local college and she’s doing her best to write the paper that will basically determine the rest of her life.  However, she keeps getting distracted.  For one thing, she just broke up with her boyfriend and now both she and her cat are practically homeless.  While it’s true that she does have a job at the library, it’s doubtful that the head librarian would be willing to allow her to sleep down in periodicals.  It’s just not done.

However, one rainy day, Lydia happens to stumble into an apartment building.  The first thing that she sees is apartment manager Drew (Ignacyo Matynia), shirtless and doing manly building work.  Things are looking up already!  Drew also explains that he just happens to have an empty apartment.  It seems that the last tenant left suddenly and all of her furniture is still in the apartment!  Lydia can not only move in but she also won’t have to buy a new couch!

Sounds great, right?

Well, it gets even better.  First off, this apartment is HUGE!  Seriously, I was really proud of the first apartment that I ever got when I was in college.  I mean, I had chairs in the living room and everything!  But my little apartment was nothing compared to the apartment in this movie!  Secondly, Drew is like really hot and nice and he and Lydia have instant chemistry.

Of course, there are some problems.  First off, Lydia is terrified of the dark, to the extent that she has panic attacks if the lights dim, which is something that happens with disturbing regularity inside of the otherwise perfect apartment.  Secondly, Drew is possessive and crazy and murderous.  I mean, you probably already guessed that second part.  After all, the film is called My Nightmare Landlord and it’s a Lifetime film.  One of the rules of Lifetime is that any guy who appears to be too good to be true is ultimately going to end up committing two murders before tying you to a chair and talking about how the two of you belong together.  That’s just the way way things work and that’s pretty much what happens here.

But you know what?  That apartment is seriously nice.  In fact, I would say that it’s such a great apartment that it might be worth the risk of having a nightmare landlord.  (Technically, of course, Drew is just the apartment manager.  But My Nightmare Apartment Manager does have quite the same ring to it.)  Of course, Drew does take things a bit too far when he starts letting himself into the apartment at all hours of the night.  That’s definitely not a good thing.  I would probably change the locks after I moved in.  Still, it’s a really nice place….

Anyway, this isn’t the first Lifetime film about a crazed apartment manger and it probably won’t be the last.  As I’ve said in many other reviews, the familiarity of these films is a huge part of their appeal.  I will say that Caroline Harris is a likable protagonist and she does a good job capturing Lydia’s fear of the dark and making it feel real.  And Ignacyo Matynia is both dangerously handsome and believably charming as the apartment manager from Hell.  I enjoyed the film almost as much as I loved the apartment.

Lifetime Film Review: Friends Who Kill (dir by Richard Switzer)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Ah, a friend who kills.

Now, on the one hand, I guess you could make an argument that it would be good to have a friend who kills because then you wouldn’t ever have to kill.  You could just ask your friend to do a favor for you.  I can certainly understand why some people would see that as being one of the benefits that comes with having a friend who kills.  Myself, if I had a friend who killed, I would want to take them with me whenever I knew I’m going to have stand in a long line.  I mean, God knows that patience is a virtue but sometimes, you really just need to speed things up.

On the other hand, having a friend who kills probably means that you have to spend a lot of time cleaning up after them.  And if your friend is one of those people who kills in the middle of the night, you might not got much sleep.  Instead, they’ll constantly be calling you at 4 in the morning, asking you to bring a garbage bag and some bleach to a house on the other side of town.  Ultimately, it just doesn’t seem to be worth the trouble.

Lifetime’s Friends Who Kill stars Sarah Fisher as Lacy, a high school student who is struggling with failing grades and the recent divorce of her parents.  When Lacy first meets Cassie (Alexa Rose Steele), it seems like Cassie is just the type of fun-loving, parent’s-signature-forging friend that she needs but it turns out that Cassie is actually a bit unstable.  She’s a friend who kills, though she doesn’t really kill that many people in this film.  She does beat a lot of people up.  She puts one person in a coma and she hits another with a shovel.  She does commit one murder with a hockey stick and it looks like pretty messy.  I hate it when murders are committed in a living room because it totally ruins all the furniture.  I mean, just try getting a blood stain out of a couch.

Harper (Reha Sandill), who was Lacy’s best friend until Cassie showed up, tries to warn Lacy that Cassie isn’t as good of a friend as she says she is but Lacy is ready for a dangerous friend and who can blame her.  Lacy’s mother (Natalie Brown) is too busy dealing with the fallout of her divorce to really notice the murderous gleam in Cassie’s eyes.  These things happen when you’ve got a friend who kills, I suppose.

Friends Who Kill suffers a bit because it’s never quite clear why Cassie wants to be Lacy’s friend or why Lacy’s mom is so quick to assume the worst when Cassie frames Harper for revealing the circumstances of the divorce.  This is one of those films where you quickly get frustrated because no one seems to have much common sense.  Everyone is strangely quick to believe anything that Cassie says and you can understand why Harper gets so annoyed with Lacy.  On the plus side, fans of Degrassi will be happy to see that this film features two members of that classic show’s cast.  On Degrassi, Sarah Fisher played ultra-religious Becky while Alexa Steele played by Angela Jeremiah and Tori Santamaria.  Steele does a pretty good job playing up the sociopathic side of Cassie.

In the end, this film has a good message.  Friends who kill may seem like a solution to all of life’s troubles but, in the end, they’re just not worth the trouble.

Lifetime Film Review: Cheerleader Abduction (dir by Michelle Oullet)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

So, here you are.

You’re 17 years old.  You’ve got your entire future ahead of you.  You’re popular.  You’re a cheerleader.  In fact, you’re not just a cheerleader but you’re also the team captain!  Your mother is the mayor of the town in which you live and she’s thinking of running for governor!  You’re looking forward to going to Michigan River University and spending your summers reading a book on the beach.

Except….

Well, you’ve been throwing up a lot.  Could it have something to do with what happened at that party a few weekends ago?

Yep!  You are pregnant!  But you can’t tell your mom, because she’s got so much going on right now.  And you can’t tell your friends because they’ll spread it all over the school.  They still haven’t forgiven you for missing the last cheerleading competition.  However, there’s a nice woman who claims that she’s been through the same thing that you’re going through.  And, she just happens to run an underground adoption agency!

That’s pretty much the plot of Cheerleader Abduction.  According to the imdb, this film was originally entitled A Secret To Keep, which is actually a far more appropriate title.  The entire film is about Olivia (Jerni Stewart) trying to keep her mother, Trish (Kristen Harris), for discovering that she’s pregnant.  While Trish is busy running for governor, Olivia is secretly quitting the cheer squad and hanging out with Pam (Sarah Constible).  Pam seems to be friendly but, whenever Olivia turns her back to her, Pam’s smile quickly disappears.  In a Lifetime film, that’s all the evidence that you need to know that someone is up to no good.

To be honest, the fact that Olivia’s a cheerleader really isn’t that important to the plot.  She could just as easily have been a theater student who missed her cue because she was getting an ultrasound in the middle of a performance.  I guess her being a cheerleader is meant to establish her as being one of the popular kids at school but still, it’s not really enough of a plot point to justify changing the film’s title.  As far as the abduction is concerned …. well, nothing that could really be considered an abduction occurs until pretty late in the film.  Instead, the majority of the film is taken up by Olivia attempting to prevent Trish from picking up on the fact that she’s pregnant.  (“I hope she’s not sick.  She just got over that stomach flu.”)  It’s all about Olivia trying to keep her secret.  A Secret To Keep is a far more appropriate title, though it doesn’t quite have the same melodramatic snap to it as Cheerleader Abduction.

Anyway, this one was okay.  As everyone should know by now, I like Lifetime movies in general and Cheerleader Abduction featured all of the things that I tend to look for when watching a Lifetime film.  There were enough lies and melodrama to hold my attention and I thought Sarah Constible did a good job playing the outwardly friendly Pam.  That said, I had a hard time taking the idea of Trish being a candidate for governor seriously.  It may be because I’ve just lived through an election but there was nothing about Trish’s political career that rang true.  Not that it really matters, of course.  You don’t watch Lifetime movies for a realistic portrait of American politics.  You watch them for the secrets and the lies and Cheerleader Abduction featured enough of both to be entertaining.

Lifetime Film Review: Cheer Squad Secrets (dir by David Longlois)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s a dangerous life, being a cheerleader.

Most people already know that from watching countless horror movies and Lifetime films.  Of course, I know that because my sister was a cheerleader and she told me about all of the dangerous things went on once the cheering stopped.  I was often invited to become a cheerleader when I was in high school.  At the time, I refused because I wanted to carve out my own identity and all of that other good stuff.  Looking back, though, I should have refused because apparently, there’s nothing more dangerous than being a cheerleader in high school.

Take Cheer Squad Secrets, for instance.  In this film, Coach Nina (Anita Brown) is so obsessed with winning a championship and also so haunted by her own traumatic experiences as a cheerleader that she ends up giving the members of the squad steroids in order to make sure that they’re always performing at 110%.  Unfortunately, steroids also leads to mood swings, violence, sprained arms, and potential jail time!  Nina, however, is so obsessed with winning a championship that she’s even willing to commit murder to make sure that everyone gets their “supplements.”  She shows no hesitation when it comes time to stab a drug dealer to death.  And when it looks like some bothersome bystander might reveal the squad’s secrets, Nina promptly drowns her in a swimming pool.

And you know what?  It’s easy to say that Coach Nina is crazy and that she’s taking things too far but Nina gets results!  I mean, I made my sister watch this movie with me and she agreed that Nina was definitely putting together a championship-worthy squad.  Nina may have been a bit intense and she may have been a bit unconventional in her methods but isn’t that what we want from our teachers?  Don’t we want teachers and coaches who will do anything to help our children succeed?

Well, Kelly Regan (Margaret Anne Florence) isn’t quite as enthused about Nina’s methods as perhaps some parents would be.  Kelly was a cheerleader when she was in high school.  In fact, she was such a great cheerleader that she’s something of a legend.  Her daughter, Amelie (Karis Cameron), wants to live up to her mom’s example.  Kelly is overjoyed when Amelie becomes a cheerleader but she’s less happy once the violent fights start to break out.  I guess it’s understandable but seriously, Nina is doing what she has to do.  I mean, doesn’t Kelly want Amelie to go to college on a cheerleading scholarship?

Anyway, Cheer Squad Secrets was an enjoyably silly melodrama.  I’m going to enjoy any film that mixes steroids with a crazy coach who occasionally has conversations with the ghost of her younger self.  I mean, really, who wouldn’t?  Anita Brown gives an appropriately intense performance as Coach Nina and director David Langlois does a good job of embracing the melodrama.  A good Lifetime film will always push the limits of how far it can take its storyline and Cheer Squad Secrets certainly does that.  This is a good one to watch for the next time you need an extra push to succeed.

Lifetime Film Review: Birthmother’s Betrayal (dir by John Murlowski)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

So, you’ve been betrayed by your birthmother!

Well, these things happen.  Especially if you’re a character in a Lifetime movie.  I’ve always argued that Lifetime movies can best be viewed as wish fulfillment and, in this one, the fulfilled wish belongs to every mother who has ever hoped that their daughter would admit that they should have listened to them.  In this film, Amy (Tanya Clarke) warns his adopted teenage daughter, Tara (Monica Rose Betz), about trying to track down her birthmother, Grace (Aria Pullman).  And wow, is Amy ever proven right!

Of course, it’s understandable that Tara would want to track down her birthmother.  First off, Tara has all sorts of weird allergies and it would really help her understand her medical history if she knew who her mother was.  Secondly, Amy is kind of overprotective and won’t even let Tara date or buy a bikini, despite the fact that Tara is nearly 17 years old.  I mean, that’s extreme!  So, even though Amy is a loving mom and owns a big house and works for Habitat for Humanity, it’s understandable that Tara would want to see what else is out there.  Amy shouldn’t have sheltered her daughter but then again, Tara should have listened to Amy about the whole “your birthmother could be dangerous” thing.

At first, Tara is overjoyed when she manages to track down Grace.  Grace seems like the perfect birthmother.  She teaches Tara how to drive.  She buys Tara that forbidden bikini.  She encourages Tara to live her own life.  Yet, there are some strange things about Grace.  For instance, Grace refuses to divulge too much information about her own background.  Grace also insists that Tara not tell Amy about her.

Eventually, though, Amy tracks down Grace on her own and invites Grace to come over to the house and meet her daughter “for the first time.”  However, when Grace arrives at the house, she’s no longer acting like the confident and unpredictable Grace that Tara met.  Instead, Grace is now jumpy and nervous and suffers from terrible dizzy spells.  Even more strangely, Grace acts as if she barely knows Tara.  What’s happening?

You may be tempted to say that Grace is just unbalanced but actually, there’s more to it than that.  There’s a neat little twist to this story and I won’t spoil it but I will say that it took me by surprise when it was revealed.  A surprise twist is always a good thing and Birthmother’s Betrayal executes it well.  Admittedly, the twist itself is a bit over-the-top but that’s what we love Lifetime movies for.  Save the normal twists for movies on other networks.  This is Lifetime we’re talking about!

Anyway, I enjoyed Birthmother’s Betrayal, largely because of the twist.  Right when you think the movie is going to be one thing, it turns out to be something else.  Aria Pullman does a good job playing Grace, as both a confident sociopath and a rather frail and neurotic woman who suffers from suddenly dizzy spells.  Keep an eye out for Birthmother’s Betrayal and remember that, when it comes to sending your DNA off to a website, it’s sometimes best to listen to the people who raised you.

Lifetime Film Review: Her Secret Family Killer (dir by Lisa France)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

DNA Tests are all the rage right now.

Right now, everyone is taking them.  Most of them seem to be hoping that they’ll find something really unexpected and cool in their background, like that they’re descended from Tecumseh or somebody.  Personally, I’d love to discover that I am related to Rutherford B. Hayes, seeing as how he was the greatest president who ever lived.  Of course, then you have other people who are just hoping that a DNA test will somehow make them seem less generic.  “I’m 1.2% North African,” they’ll tell you, in-between posting Taylor Swift memes on twitter.

That said, everyone should approach DNA tests with caution.  First off, if you’ve ever taken a DNA test, that means that the government now has access to your DNA and can probably use it to clone a race of super soldiers or something.  That’s definitely one thing to consider.  There’s also the possibility that being goaded into taking a DNA test could end whatever hope you have of ever being elected President.  That’s another thing you have to consider.  And finally, there’s the possibility that your DNA will turn up on the dead body of your best friend!  Agck!

That’s exactly what happens to Sarah (Brooke Nevin) in Her Secret Family Killer.  Her best friend Victoria (Carmen Moreno) gives her a DNA test for her birthday.  Despite the protestations of Lyle (Devin Crittenden), who says that DNA tests are the first step towards dictatorship, Sarah gets the test done.  Later, Victoria disappears.  Sarah, while out on her morning run, just happens to stumble across Victoria’s dead body.  The police test the DNA that was on Victoria’s body and just guess whose DNA shows up.

That’s right!  Sarah’s!

But, surely, Sarah couldn’t be the murderer.  It must just be someone who shares Sarah’s DNA, like a family member.  So, which of Sarah’s relatives is the murderer?  Or, could it be that there’s something else going on?  I mean, seriously, when you’ve got DNA traveling all over the place, who knows who might be able to get their hands on it….

The best Lifetime films always strike at a secret fear that many people have but aren’t always willing to express.  Her Secret Family Killer is all about the fear that one of your relatives might be murderers and you might not know it.  I mean, it’s definitely possible.  Ted Bundy, Charles Manson, the Grim Sleeper, the Baseline Killer, the D.C. snipers, they all had families and they all had relatives who were probably shocked when cousin Ted ended up in jail, accused with murdering people across the country.  I mean, who knows what type of monsters you might have hiding in your family tree?  People take DNA tests assuming that they’ll discover they’re related to someone great.  What if you take your DNA test and discover that your great-uncle is the BTK Killer?  It could happen.

Anyway, Her Secret Family Killer is another entertaining Lifetime thriller.  Brooke Nevin has appeared in a few of these and she does a good job of embracing the melodrama, which is pretty much the key to making a good Lifetime film.  If nothing else, watching the film will make you think twice before sending your DNA off to strangers and that’s probably a good thing.

Lifetime Film Review: The Pom Pom Murders (dir by Tom Shell)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Cheerleading is dangerous!

Of course, if you’ve been watching Lifetime for the past month or so, you know that.  Lifetime has spent most of October showing movies about cheerleaders who are either killing or being killed.  Now that Lifetime has decided to show Christmas movies for the rest of the year, the deadly cheerleader movies have moved to the Lifetime Movie Network.

For instance, last night saw the premiere of The Pom Pom Murders!  Now, I was co-hosting the #ScarySocial live tweet last night so I missed The Pom Pom Murders but, fortunately, my sister Erin had the foresight to set the DVR for me.  Thank you, Erin!

As I always do whenever there’s a killer cheerleader movie on the DVR, I tried to get Erin to watch it with me.  Erin was a cheerleader in high school and I always feel it’s good to get an expert opinion on whether or not these films accurately reflect the cheerleading experience.  (I always refused to try out for cheerleader in high school, mostly because two of my sisters had done it and I wanted to establish my own identity.  Of course, since I was a teenager at the time, establishing my own identity meant writing a lot of emo poetry.)  Erin, however, declined because no one was murdered while she was a cheerleader.  I guess she has a point.

Anyway, The Pom Pom Murders is about Audrey (Anna Marie Dobbins), who tries out for a spot on the cheerleading squad of the Los Angeles Renegades basketball team!  She makes the squad and she even gets a charming new boyfriend when star player Walter Wilson gives her a ride home!  Everything seems to be perfect, until the murder of Bailey (Grace Patterson), a member of the squad and Walter’s ex-girlfriend!  Bailey is strangled while her dog watches, just in case you needed any more evidence that this killer is ruthless.

With Walter as the number one suspect and an apparent killer stalking the Renegade Girls, can Audrey cheer the team to victory without losing her life?  One would normally think so, seeing as how this is a Lifetime film and most Lifetime films do, eventually, have a happy ending.  However, this film also features a rather snarky voice-over from Audrey, one which suggests that this story might not have a happy ending.  Of course, Audrey also suggests that she might just be saying that to make you watch so one huge reason to watch the film is to see if Audrey’s an honest narrator or not!

The best Lifetime films always mix the melodrama with a healthy dose of self-awareness.  These are films that go cheerfully over the top and make no apologies for doing so and that’s certainly the case with The Pom Pom Murders, which features an enjoyably eccentric group of suspects.  Is the murderer the pervy janitor or the intense coach or the strange owners?  Is Audrey going to be able to solve the case or is she going to end up the latest victim?  Is she going to become the newest star cheerleader or is she going to finally listen to her mother and go to law school?

You’ll have to watch the film to find out!  This is a fun movie.  If you’re into Lifetime movies, you’ll be doing some cheering yourself.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #213: Is There A Killer On My Street? (dir by Jake Helgren)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched the latest “premiere” on the Lifetime Movie Network, Is There A Killer On My Street?

Why Was I Watching It?

I have to admit that Lifetime fooled me.  I thought this was a brand new movie, largely because it was listed as having been released in 2020.  When I saw that, I was like, “Well, there’s no way I’m going to miss a new Lifetime movie!  Especially one that isn’t a sentimental Christmas film!”

Well, it turns out that Is There A Killer On My Street has been around for at least two years.  It was originally released under the title The Neighborhood Nightmare, way back in 2018.  When Lifetime aired the movie, they changed the title and apparently, that was enough for this movie to reclassified as a 2020 release.

That said, I’m not angry at Lifetime.  The COVID-19 outbreak shut down a lot of productions and I can only imagine how many Lifetime movies were put on indefinite hold earlier this year.  So, Lifetime picked up an old movie and changed the title.  Big deal.  It was still new to the network, right?

Don’t worry, Lifetime.  I’ve got your back.

What Was It About?

It’s time for another round of sex and sin in the suburbs!  Having escaped from an abusive marriage, Lindsay Porter (Julie McNiven) and her teenage daughter have settled down in a beautiful house in a beautiful neighborhood.  (Seriously, there’s never been an ugly house in a Lifetime movie.)  Lindsay even starts to date her new neighbor, Dr. Stephen Lane (Trevor Donovan).  However, when strange things start to happen and eventually someone shows up dead, Lindsay is forced to consider how much she knows about not just Stephen but her neighbors as well!

What Worked?

I always love a good Lifetime sin-in-the-suburbs film and Is There A Killer In My Street had all the right ingredients.  Melodrama, murder, yoga, swimming pools, a good-looking cast, and a director who was willing to let everyone go just a little overboard.  This was an entertainingly sordid movie and that’s exactly what I was looking for on Friday night.

I will say that the film also did a surprisingly good job of keeping you guessing.  I thought I had figured out who the murderer would be just to then discover that I was totally wrong.  I’m usually really good at predicting who the murderer is going to be in a Lifetime whodunit so I have to give this film a lot of credit for keeping me on my toes.  I’ve seen a lot of these films and it’s always nice to discover that I can still be surprised.

What Did Not Work?

I could nitpick but screw that.  This movie was too much fun for nitpicking.  I mean, let’s be honest.  We’re all pretty much going to be stuck in our current bizarre situation for the forseesable future.  Films like Is There A Killer On My Street are going to be essential for keeping us entertained.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

I appreciated that Lindsay and I both have red hair.  I share her struggle.

Lessons Learned

If you even have to ask whether or not there’s a killer on your street, you’re already in trouble.

Lifetime Film Review: Kidnapped By A Classmate (dir by Ben Meyerson)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

One thing that you can be sure about when you watch a Lifetime film is that even the poorest people in the film will still live in a huge house with a big front yard.

For instance, in Kidnapped By A Classmate, Hunter (Lucas Adams) is so desperate for money that he’s forced into a life of petty crime, mugging delivery men and murdering drug dealers.  And yet, he lives in a really big and really nice house.  I’m pretty sure I counted at least three stories and both the back and the front yards are absolutely huge.  I mean, I’ve been told that my house is pretty nice but it’s nothing compared to where Hunter lives.

Still, Hunter needs money and he comes up with the bright idea of burglarizing a smaller house during the middle of the day.  Unfortunately, Brooke (Paige Searcy) happens to be home when Hunter breaks in and, as a result, she ends up getting kidnapped and held for ransom.  Making things even more awkward is the fact that Brooke goes to the same high school as Hunter’s younger brother, Corey (Pedro Correa).  Corey was hoping to go on a date with Brooke but now she’s bound and gagged in his living room so this relationship is definitely not getting off to a good start.  Also providing involuntary help with the kidnapping is Corey’s best friend, Eric (Rahul Aburri).  Eric just wanted a ride home but now he’s kind of trapped in the middle of a felony.

Corey assures Eric that everything will be okay and that Brooke will be freed once Hunter gets his money.  “Like the Lindbergh baby!” Corey says before Eric calls him out for not paying attention in history class.  Eric has a point, of course.  Obviously, everyone wants to help out their siblings but it’s smart to draw the line somewhere.

Paige’s mother, Shannon (Andrea Bogert), arrives home too late to save her daughter from being kidnapped.  When Hunter subsequently demands that Shannon and her new husband pay a ransom, Shannon decides to save Brooke on her own.  Helping Shannon out is Jade (Chloe Ray Warmoth), a streetkid who knows all about “tattoo gangs.”

Anyway, there’s a lot of drama in Kidnapped By My Classmate.  A lot of that is due to Hunter being not only crazy but kind of stupid as well.  Not only is he in debt but he can’t even pull off a proper kidnapping.  Unfortunately, since Hunter’s a bit crazy, chances are that he’ll kill Brooke once it becomes obvious that he’s not going to get what he wants.  It’s an interesting idea, to be honest.  Hunter isn’t dangerous because he’s a master criminal.  He’s dangerous because he’s so incompetent.  (In fact, you could probably say the same thing about Bruno Hauptmann, the Lindbergh baby kidnapper….)

Kidnapped By A Classmate was, in many ways, a standard Lifetime kidnapping film.  Daughters are always getting kidnapped on Lifetime and it usually falls on mom to save them.  Kidnapped By A Classmate is a bit different because Brooke isn’t kidnapped because she refused to listen to her mom’s advice.  Instead, Brooke just happens to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.  In this film, the problem child is Jade, who has a terrible attitude but gets to redeem herself by helping Shannon look for her daughter.  Andrea Bogert and Paige Searcy are believable as mother and daughter and Chloe Ray Warmoth does a good job with his frequently sarcastic dialogue.  The film really is stolen by Rahul Aburri, who plays one of the most unluckiest people you’ll ever seen in a film like this.  One minute, you need a ride home.  The next minute, you’re taking part in a felony.  It’s a mad world.