The Eric Roberts Collection: If I Can’t Have You (dir by David DeCoteau)


In 2023’s If I Can’t Have You, Michelle (Bailey Kai) is the host of the hottest late night radio show in town but she’s been getting creepy phone calls from someone identifying himself as Curtis.  Michelle and her producer (Gina Haraizumi) can’t get get any help from the cops (played by Jackee Harry and Tracy Nelson) so they decide to investigate on their own.

Who is Michelle’s stalker?  Could it be the creepy guy (Michael Pare) who lives next door?  Could it be their geeky engineer, Keith (Phillip McElroy)?  Could it be Stan (Eric Roberts), the owner of the radio station who seems to be really determined to get them to change their time slot?  Or could it be just some other random guy with too much time on his hands?

To give credit where credit is due, director David DeCoteau does manage to generate some suspense as to who the stalker actually is.  I wouldn’t say I was exactly shocked when the stalker’s identity was revealed but DeCoteau still did a good job of giving us plenty of suspects to consider.  That said, this is still a David DeCoteau film and the real pleasure of the film is spotting all of the standard DeCoteauisms.  In this case, Joe’s Restaurant — previously seen in The Wrong Mr. Right — makes a return appearance.

In the end, this one isn’t as much fun as DeCoteau’s “Wrong” films.  There’s no Vivica A. Fox saying, “Looks like you suspected the Wrong Stalker.”  Still, it’s entertaining enough and Eric Roberts appears to have been in a good mood during filming.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

  1. Paul’s Case (1980)
  2. Star 80 (1983)
  3. Runaway Train (1985)
  4. To Heal A Nation (1988)
  5. Best of the Best (1989)
  6. Blood Red (1989)
  7. The Ambulance (1990)
  8. The Lost Capone (1990)
  9. Best of the Best II (1993)
  10. Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993)
  11. Voyage (1993)
  12. Love Is A Gun (1994)
  13. Sensation (1994)
  14. Dark Angel (1996)
  15. Doctor Who (1996)
  16. Most Wanted (1997)
  17. The Alternate (2000)
  18. Mercy Streets (2000)
  19. Tripfall (2000)
  20. Raptor (2001)
  21. Rough Air: Danger on Flight 534 (2001)
  22. Strange Frequency (2001)
  23. Wolves of Wall Street (2002)
  24. Border Blues (2004)
  25. Mr. Brightside (2004)
  26. Six: The Mark Unleased (2004)
  27. We Belong Together (2005)
  28. Hey You (2006)
  29. Depth Charge (2008)
  30. Amazing Racer (2009)
  31. The Chaos Experiment (2009)
  32. In The Blink of an Eye (2009)
  33. Bed & Breakfast (2010)
  34. Enemies Among Us (2010)
  35. The Expendables (2010) 
  36. Sharktopus (2010)
  37. Beyond The Trophy (2012)
  38. The Dead Want Women (2012)
  39. Deadline (2012)
  40. The Mark (2012)
  41. Miss Atomic Bomb (2012)
  42. The Night Never Sleeps (2012)
  43. Assault on Wall Street (2013)
  44. Bonnie And Clyde: Justified (2013)
  45. Lovelace (2013)
  46. The Mark: Redemption (2013)
  47. The Perfect Summer (2013)
  48. Revelation Road: The Beginning of the End (2013)
  49. Revelation Road 2: The Sea of Glass and Fire (2013)
  50. Self-Storage (2013)
  51. Sink Hole (2013)
  52. A Talking Cat!?! (2013)
  53. This Is Our Time (2013)
  54. Bigfoot vs DB Cooper (2014)
  55. Doc Holliday’s Revenge (2014)
  56. Eternity: The Movie (2014)
  57. Inherent Vice (2014)
  58. Road to the Open (2014)
  59. Rumors of War (2014)
  60. So This Is Christmas (2014)
  61. Amityville Death House (2015)
  62. Deadly Sanctuary (2015)
  63. A Fatal Obsession (2015)
  64. Las Vegas Story (2015)
  65. Sorority Slaughterhouse (2015)
  66. Stalked By My Doctor (2015)
  67. Enemy Within (2016)
  68. Hunting Season (2016)
  69. Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
  70. Prayer Never Fails (2016)
  71. Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016)
  72. The Wrong Roommate (2016)
  73. Dark Image (2017)
  74. The Demonic Dead (2017)
  75. Black Wake (2018)
  76. Frank and Ava (2018)
  77. Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (2018)
  78. The Wrong Teacher (2018)
  79. Clinton Island (2019)
  80. Monster Island (2019)
  81. The Reliant (2019)
  82. The Savant (2019)
  83. Seven Deadly Sins (2019)
  84. Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare (2019)
  85. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
  86. Exodus of a Prodigal Son (2020)
  87. Free Lunch Express (2020)
  88. Hard Luck Love Song (2020)
  89. Her Deadly Groom (2020)
  90. Top Gunner (2020)
  91. Deadly Nightshade (2021)
  92. The Elevator (2021)
  93. Just What The Doctor Ordered (2021)
  94. Killer Advice (2021)
  95. Megaboa (2021)
  96. Night Night (2021)
  97. The Poltergeist Diaries (2021)
  98. The Rebels of PT-218 (2021)
  99. Red Prophecies (2021)
  100. A Town Called Parable (2021)
  101. The Wrong Mr. Right (2021)
  102. Bleach (2022)
  103. Dawn (2022)
  104. My Dinner With Eric (2022)
  105. 69 Parts (2022)
  106. The Rideshare Killer (2022)
  107. The Wrong High School Sweetheart (2022)
  108. The Company We Keep (2023)
  109. D.C. Down (2023)
  110. Aftermath (2024)
  111. Bad Substitute (2024)
  112. Devil’s Knight (2024)
  113. Insane Like Me? (2024)
  114. Space Sharks (2024)
  115. The Wrong Life Coach (2024)
  116. Broken Church (2025)
  117. Shakey Grounds (2025)
  118. When It Rains In L.A. (2025)

Lifetime Film Review: The Wrong Cheerleader Coach (dir by David DeCoteau)


“You messed with the wrong cheerleader coach!”

Okay, so no one actually says that in this film, which is a bit of a shame.  Still, I absolutely loved The Wrong Cheerleader Coach, a film about what happens when the new assistant cheerleading coach at the local high school becomes obsessed with the father of one of her cheerleaders.  Let’s just say that things don’t go well but everyone still remains very enthusiastic and full of pep and vigor.

In this case, the wrong cheerleader coach is Devan (Johanna Liauw), who offers private lessons to Hanna (Madi Burton).  It’s not because Devan cares about whether or not Hanna makes the squad.  Instead, it’s because Devan is obsessed with Hanna’s father, a widower and construction worker named Jon (Corin Nemec).  When Devan discovers that John is actually dating a woman who wears glasses, Devan goes out and buys some glasses for herself.  I have to applaud Devan for taking that extra step.  My eyesight is terrible and getting worse by the day.  I usually wear contacts but I may start wearing my glasses just because Devan and Jon’s girlfriend, Melissa (Bailey Kai), make them look so cool.

Anyway, Devan is obsessed with Jon but when Jon basically says, “I don’t like you and stay the Hell away from my daughter,” Devan goes all crazy.  It’s unfortunate because Devan really does appear to be a good coach but the whole psycho thing will probably keep her from moving forward in her profession.  I mean, Hanna does become a much better cheerleader as a result of working with Devan.

This is one of Lifetime’s “Wrong” movies.  All of these films are directed by David DeCoteau and they all feature Vivica A. Fox in a supporting role.  This time, Fox plays the head cheerleading coach, the one who gives Devan a stern talking to when Devan starts to lose her mind.  Also appearing in the film is Tara Reid, who has a cameo as a former co-worker of Devan’s.  It’s a bit of Sharknado reunion, as both Fox and Reid appeared in that classic franchise.  (That said, Reid and Fox actually share any scenes in The Wrong Cheerleader Coach so don’t watch this film expecting to hear random jokes about flying sharks.)

Anyway, I always enjoy the “Wrong” films because they always seem to feature a big house and a lot of melodrama.  That’s certainly the case with The Wrong Cheerleader Coach.  In fact, one could say that this film is absolutely shameless in the way that it embraces the melodrama but that’s a good thing!  There’s enough shame in the world.  The “Wrong” films are unapologetically over-the-top and kitschy and it’s impossible not to love them.

The Wrong Cheerleader Coach is fun.  It’s got Corin Nemec, who is one of the most likable actors on the planet.  And it’s got Vivica A. Fox playing yet another no-nonsense authority figure, which is a role that she plays very well.  In the role of Devan, Johanna Liauw goes crazy with class.  It’s a fun movie.