Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.3 “Two Grapes On The Vine/Aunt Sylvia/Deductible Divorce”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, The Love Boat hosts a special event!

Episode 5.3 “Two Grapes On The Vine/Aunt Sylvia/Deductible Divorce”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on October 17th, 1981)

This week, the Love Boat is hosting a wine tasting competition!

Basically, the contestants sit in the ballroom.  They take a sip of wine.  They then write down what type of wine they think they just tasted.  All of the members of the crew and the majority of the passengers watch them.  Seriously, it looks like the most boring thing ever.  I mean, I get why the competitors are into it.  The winner gets a lot of money.  But why would you want to watch people drink?  I mean, if you’re crazy into wine, it seems like you’d want to drink it yourself.  What fun is there in watching other people drink something?  I’ll just say that, if I was on a cruise, I would want to do other things.  I would want lay out by the pool or look at the ocean or maybe solve a murder.  What I would not want to do would be to spend hours watching other people drink and then spit.

Also, I have to wonder about the wisdom of hosting a wine tasting competition on a ship that’s captained by a recovering alcoholic.  Did the show forget this key part of the captain’s character?  Merrill Stubing is a recovering alcoholic and he lives his life with the rigorous discipline of someone who is trying to avoid falling back into old habits.  It would seem like Captain Stubing would at least mention his alcoholic past in this episode, especially after Vicki says that she wishes she could take part in the contest.  Wouldn’t this be a good time for Stubing to explain that an addictive personality can be hereditary?

I know, I know.  I’m overthinking.  It’s just because I found this episode to be remarkably dull.  I mean, I love The Love Boat but this episode was just boring.  The whole wine tasting thing just put me to sleep.

It didn’t help that the three stories weren’t particularly interesting.

Robert Guillaume and Leslie Uggams played the two finalists in the wine tasting competition.  They each lied to the other about why they needed the money.  Then they fell in love and they each threw the competition so the other could win the money.  But since they both got the last wine wrong, no one won and no money was awarded.  Wow, wine tasting is a harsh sport!

Tanya Tucker and Michael Goodwin played a married couple who got divorced every year so that they could get a tax break.  This time, they sailed to Mexico for a quickie divorce.  Tucker’s ex-boyfriend, Robert Walden, was on the cruise and Tucker was tempted to stay divorced.  However, she and Goodwin eventually decided to get married a sixth time and to never get divorced again.  I liked this story solely because it was about screwing over the IRS.

Finally, Betty White wanted to marry Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. but he instead fell for Betty White’s friend, Carol Channing.  No worries though!  Fairbanks gave Betty White a job so that she would no longer have to marry for money.

It was all pretty boring.  As I said, I love this show but this episode tasted as flat as a French wine from 1178.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 4.20 “Quiet, My Wife’s Listening/Eye of the Beholder/The Nudist from Sunshine Gardens”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, The Love Boat makes history.

Episode 4.20 “Quiet, My Wife’s Listening/Eye of the Beholder/The Nudist from Sunshine Gardens”

(Dir by Harry Mastrogeorge, originally aired on February 21st, 1981)

This episode contains a historical first.  It features the first interracial romance to ever be featured on The Love Boat.  It took them three and a half seasons to feature one but, at the same time, in 1981, it still probably took some courage for a primetime television show to feature white David Hedison falling in love with black Leslie Uggams.  Today, of course, we tend to take it for granted that every movie, TV show, and advertisement is going to feature at least one interracial couple.  It’s easy to forget that this is actually a rather recent development.  Consider this:  I’ve reviewed over a hundred episodes of Fantasy Island and The Love Boat and this is the first episode to feature an interracial romance.

It should be noted, of course, that Leslie Uggams plays a blind woman.  At first, I thought the episode was trying to hedge its bets, by assuring any racists in the audience that Uggams didn’t know she was falling in love with a white guy.  But then, David Hedison asked Leslie Uggams to marry him and come live with him on his ranch.

“I am a blind, black woman,” Uggams replies, before asking Hedison how he’s going to handle the reactions of the “people in that small town” to him marrying her.

This, of course, would have been a great chance for Hedison to declare that he didn’t care what anyone else had to say and that love is love.  Unfortunately, he doesn’t say that.

Instead, Hedison jokes, “We’ll just tell people that you’re the new housekeeper.”

AGCK!  Oh, Love Boat, you were so close!  That truly unfortunately joke aside, it was a good story and David Hedison and Leslie Uggams had a likable chemistry together.  It was nice to see them leave the ship together.

(Incidentally, Leslie Uggams herself married a white man in 1965, at a time when interracial marriage still illegal in many States.  They’re still married today.)

As for the other two stories, they were pleasantly bland.  Barbie Benton played a nudist who was determined to sunbathe on the ship.  Though Doc Bricker volunteered to deal with the problem personally, Gopher instead declared that it was his duty — as purser — to convince her to cover up.  Peter Haskell played the ACLU lawyer who threatened to sue Gopher for violating Benton’s first amendment rights.  Haskell and Benton fell in love, despite the fact that Benton was 20-something while Haskell appeared to be close to 70.

Meanwhile, Dick Martin boarded the ship with his mistress (Judith Chapman) but he was so paranoid about the possibility of his wife bugging his cabin that his mistress got frustrated and left him.  Martin then fell in love with Mary Ann Mobley, an electronic expert who offered to de-bug his cabin.  Of course, Mobley was actually a detective sent to catch Martin with his mistress but she fell in love with Martin so I guess it just sucks for Martin’s wife.

The Barbie Benton storyline had some funny moments.  The Dick Martin storyline reminded me how hard it is to have sympathy for someone who would cheat on his wife with two different women on one cruise.  Overall, this was a pleasant — and historically significant — cruise.

Film Review: Deadpool 2 (dir by David Leitch)


“From the studio that killed Wolverine!” the poster proclaims.

“Directed by the man who killed John Wick’s dog” the opening credits announce.

Deadpool 2 is so meta that it even opens with a close-up of a figurine of Hugh Jackman impaled on a rock or a branch or whatever it was that finally killed him at the end of Logan.  Deadpool, the irrepressible and nearly indestructible mercenary played by Ryan Reynolds, announces that he’s willing to accept the challenge posed by Logan‘s tragic ending.  Deadpool promises us that, in the movie we’re about to watch, he’ll die as well.  Deadpool then proceeds to blow himself up.

Of course, those of us who have seen first Deadpool film know better than to panic when Deadpool’s severed head flies at the camera.  Deadpool heals so quickly that, as long as his powers are working, he can’t be killed.  If he gets shot or stabbed, the wound heals almost immediately.  Broken bones mend themselves in record time.  When Deadpool literally gets ripped in half, he promptly starts to grow new legs.  Without his powers, of course, Deadpool would have died a long time ago.  He has cancer, a fact that the film doesn’t dwell upon but which still adds a bit of unexpected depth to the character and his trademark dark humor.

Of course, Deadpool is not just unique because his near-immortality.  Deadpool is also unique in that he, and he alone, understands that he’s a character in a movie.  Even more importantly, he understands that he’s a character who is being played by an actor named Ryan Reynolds.  (Some of Deadpool 2‘s best jokes — which I won’t spoil here — are at the expense of some of Reynolds’s earlier career choices.)  While everyone else in the film is taking things very seriously, as characters in comic book films tend to do, Deadpool is pointing out all of the clichés and even the occasional plot hole.  When Cable (Josh Brolin), a cyborg warrior from the future, offers up a hasty explanation for why he can’t just use time travel to solve all of his problems, Deadpool dismisses it as “lazy writing.”

With the monster success of Wonder Woman, Infinity War, and Black Panther, Deadpool is the hero that we now need.  I mean, let’s be honest.  Comic books movies can be a lot of fun and, right now, we’re living in the golden age of super hero cinema.  At the same time, these films can occasionally get a little bit pompous.  Think about the unrelenting grimness of the DC films.  Think about all the sturm und drang that made up the undeniably effectively ending of Infinity War.  It in no way detracts from those films to say that Deadpool’s refusal to take either himself or the movie too seriously often feels like a breath of fresh air.  Deadpool is the one hero who is willing to say to the audience, “Yes, it’s all ludicrous and silly and occasionally a little bit lazy.  Isn’t it great?”

And yet, even with all that in mind, Deadpool 2 has a surprisingly big heart.  Even while it encourages us to laugh as its excesses, the sequel makes clear that it has a bit more on its mind than the first film.  Deadpool 2‘s plot deals with the efforts of both Deadpool and Cable to track down an angry mutant who goes by the somewhat regrettable name of Firefist (Julian Dennison).  Cable has come from the future to kill Firefist and prevent him from eventually destroying the world with his anger.  As for Deadpool, he feels that the spirit of someone he loved wants him to save Firefist.  As for Firefist himself, he’s an escapee from the Essex Home For Mutant Rehabilitation, a Hellish orphanage where the hypocritical headmaster and his perverted staff attempt to torture young mutants into being normal human beings.  The parallel to conversion therapy is an obvious one and there’s always just enough outrage underneath the film’s humor.

Deadpool 2 is a fast-moving and quick-witted sequel and Ryan Reynolds is, once again, perfect in the role of the demented lead character.  The jokes are nonstop and fortunately, so is the action.  There’s a lengthy fight between Cable and Deadpool that’s destined to go down as a classic.  Another exciting scene opens with parachutes and ends with … well, I can’t tell you.  I won’t spoil it, beyond to say that sometimes, being a hero is all about good luck.  Deadpool 2 is an ultra-violent, ultra-profane action-comedy with a heart of iron pyrite.  It’s not a film to take the kids too.  Deadpool himself points that out.  (He also points out that the babysitter is probably stoned by now.)  However, Deadpool also says that this sequel is a film about family and, amazingly enough, it turns out that he’s not lying.

So far, 2018 has been the year of the comic book movie and Deadpool 2 is a welcome addition.

The Deadpool 2 Full Trailer


Unless we’re dealing with a story like The Lord of the Rings, where the second film is just a placeholder for the more epic finale, a sequel usually comes with a great deal of responsibility. It has to be larger in scope, with more of everything. If we’re lucky, the audience will be fully invested in the story arc as we watch our favorite characters return to face greater challenges.

Or sometimes, a sequel just needs more of what worked for the first film.

Deadpool 2 ups the ante, building on 2016’s promise to include Cable (played by Josh Brolin, doing a lot of work for Marvel these days), more gunfire, swordfights and explosions. Ryan Reynolds returns as our favorite Merc with a Mouth, with a new trailer free of unfinished special effects.  If the first movie made DMX’s “X Gonna Give It To Ya” or Salt ‘N’ Pepa’s “Whatta Man” its theme songs, this new trailer will do the same for LL Cool J’s classic “Mama Said Knock You Out”. YouTube is already chock full of “Deadpool 2 brought me here.” comments for the song.

Reynolds and Company know what they’re doing.

This time around, it appears that Deadpool has to protect a child (much like Logan) pursued by the time travelling mutant Cable. Though we don’t know the reasons behind this, we see Deadpool is forced to create a fighting team of his very own in X-Force. I can imagine Deadpool’s creator, Rob Liefield, is definitely proud of seeing his characters from the 1991 comic series finally brought on to the big screen.

In addition to Brolin, Deadpool 2 adds Atlanta’s Zazie Beetz as Domino. Most of the cast from the first film are back – Morena Baccarin (Vanessa), TJ Miller (Weasel), Leslie Uggams (Blind Al), Brianna Hildebrand (Negasonic Teenage Warhead), and even Karan Soni (Dopinder, who I hope has progressed in his relationship with his love interest, Gita).

David Leitch (John Wick, Atomic Blonde) takes over the directing duties from Tim Miller. I’m personally excited for that, having enjoyed his previous films. This should give the movie a different feel from the original.

Deadpool 2 premieres in cinemas on May 18th, 2018, giving audiences enough time to come off of their Avengers: Infinity War highs and enjoy.

 

Deadpool, Meet Cable (A Teaser)


“Well, that’s just lazy writing.” Ah, good old Wade Wilson.

Fox just dropped a teaser trailer for the Deadpool Sequel (which doesn’t really have a name at this point other than maybe Deadpool 2). This one focuses on Cable and shows off some of his combat abilities. It looks like everyone’s back on board here, with Deadpool breaking the 4th wall, as usual.

Deadpool 2 will be in cinemas this May.

Film Review: Deadpool (2016, directed by Tim Miller)


Deadpool_posterWade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds) is a mercenary with a sense of humor and a heart of not quite gold.  When he is diagnosed with terminal cancer, he leaves his girlfriend, Vanessa (Morena Baccarin), and agrees to allow a secret organization to experiment on him.  They will cure his cancer but, in return, they expect him to serve as a super powered slave for their own clients.  After being severely disfigured by the sadistic Ajax (Ed Skrein), Wilson develops a super human healing ability.  Eventually, Wilson escapes but now fears that he’s too twisted to return to Vanessa.  Taking on the identity of Deadpool, Wilson tries to track down and get his revenge on Ajax (real name: Francis).

From the moment I heard that 20th Century Fox was producing a Deadpool film, I had only one request: “Don’t fuck it up.”

After all, there is a reason why Deadpool is one of the most popular characters to come out of Marvel’s later period.  He’s certainly the best thing that Rob Liefeld has ever had a hand in creating.  First introduced in New Mutants and subsequently used in the various X-books before getting his own ground-breaking series, Deadpool has earned the right to be known as “the merc with a mouth.”  Deadpool was popular because, out of all the characters in the Marvel Universe, he alone understood that he was in a comic book.  He would frequently break the fourth wall and talk about how ridiculous life as a comic book antihero was.  At a time when almost all other super powered characters were presented as being grim and troubled, Deadpool was the often vulgar antidote to comic books that took themselves too seriously.

(My favorite Deadpool moment was when Deadpool had been once again incorrectly assumed dead.  When Blind Al told Weasel that Deadpool was dead, the footnote at the bottom of the panel read, “Guess the series is over!”)

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I saw Deadpool last weekend.

They did not fuck it up.

My biggest fear was that the Deadpool movie would present a neutered or toned down Deadpool but there was no need to worry.  Though the film’s plot may be a standard origin story with a revenge subplot tossed in, Deadpool distinguishes itself by staying true to the character’s anarchistic and self-referential humor.  This is not a case of Dolph Lundgren putting on a trenchcoat, driving a motorcycle, and calling himself the Punisher.  And it is certainly not a case of the strange character that Ryan Reynolds played in X-Men Origins who was supposed to be Deadpool but definitely was not.  Deadpool allows Deadpool to be Deadpool, right down to the red uniform, the broken fourth wall, and the R-rated humor and violence.  Deadpool earns its R rating and wears it as a badge of honor  This is not a movie for children.  Everything that most heroes do and say off-camera, Deadpool does and says for the entire audience to see and hear.

That's not Deadpool!

That’s not Deadpool!

That's Deadpool!

That’s Deadpool!

Deadpool ends with the promise of a sequel, perhaps one that will include Cable.  Since Cable is one of my least favorite Marvel characters, I hope that the sequel will at least see the return of Colossus (rendered by CGI and voiced by Stefan Kapicic) and Negasonic Teenage Warhead (Briana Hildebrand), both of whom make welcome appearances here.  Negasonic Teenage Warhead especially deserves her own spin-off film.  Let her blow up shit for two hours.  I’ll watch.

Also, if the sequel has to feature Cable, I hope it will also include Dr. Bong.  Deadpool needs all the help he can get!

1988445-doctor_bong_diagnosis_deadpool_26

A Very Red Band Deadpool Trailer for Christmas


Deadpool

Twentieth Century Fox has had a stranglehold on the film rights to one of Marvel Comics’ biggest properties: the X-Men and every character associated with them. So far, the studio has only taken the core X-Men and Wolverine properties and adapted them onto the big-screen to mixed results. Some fans of the properties have even come to see the Fox vision for these mutant characters as tame and water-down version of the classic comic book characters.

One such mutant character which had languished in development hell within Fox was the character of Deadpool. The so-called “Merc with a Mouth” had an off and on development cycle throughout the years. The character finally appeared in the forgettable Wolverine stand-alone film, X-Men Origins: Wolverine. The character was played by Ryan Reynolds and just like another superhero film (this time for DC as the classic character of Green Lantern) he starred in, this one bombed and he was starting to be seen as a curse on superhero projects his named gets attached to.

If there was one major effect that Marvel Studios’ success with their Marvel Cinematic Universe has had with the rest of the Hollywood studios was to force them to treat their comic book property licenses seriously. They had to embrace the comic book nature of the properties they held the license to and work with it instead of against it.

It looks like Fox might be doing just that with their R-rated attempt at the Deadpool live-action adaptation starring the star who campained long and hard to produce and star as the title character: Ryan Reynolds. If the tone we’ve seen with the Comic-Con trailer and this latest red band trailer is any indication then the Ryan Reynolds superhero curse could be ending in early February of 2012.

Deadpool is set for a February 12, 2016 release date.