The TSL Horror Grindhouse: Fear City (dir by Abel Ferrara)


Welcome to Manhattan in the mid-80s!

While self-righteous vice cop Al Wheeler (Billy Dee Williams) patrols the streets with the fury of an Old Testament prophet, men flock to seedy bars to watch women like Loretta (Melanie Griffith) dance and strip.  Mobsters like Carmine (Rossano Brazzi) control the streets while club owners like Mike (Michael V. Gazzo) and Frank (Joe Santos) try to do business and make enough money to keep things open.  Bookers like Nicky Parzeno (Jack Scalia) and Lou Goldstein (Jan Murray) compete to see who can place their girls in the most clubs.  Nicky’s best friend and business partner, Matt Rossi (Tom Berenger), is haunted by his violent past as a boxer and his failed relationship with the drug-addicted Loretta.

Meanwhile, a nameless man (John Foster) practices nude tai chai in his warehouse apartment and writes feverishly in his journals.  At night, he stalks the streets with a blade in his hand.  He targets strippers, attacking them as they try to get home from the club.  Honey (Ola Ray) is attacked on a subway platform.  Loretta’s girlfriend, Leila (Rae Dawn Chong), is attacked on the streets.  Obsessed with Loretta’s safety, Matt struggles with his own inner demons as he prepares for a final confrontation with the killer….

1985’s Fear City is another one of director Abel Ferrara’s heavily stylized fever dreams.  In typical Ferrara fashion, the plot is so sordid that one might be tempted to think that the film is meant to be a self-parody and the dialogue mixes profane insults with bizarrely philosophical asides.  As played by Billy Dee Williams, Al Wheeler is not just a cop who wants to clean up New York and Times Square.  Instead, he’s a seething soldier to traditional morality and one who is so intense that it’s something of a shock that he doesn’t just walk around New York shooting people for jaywalking.  Meanwhile, Tom Berenger’s Matt is a hulking brute who is haunted by the time he killed a man in the ring.  He knows what he’s capable of and it scares him but, in order to save Loretta and his business, he’s going to have to become that deadly boxer once again.  “I hate Matt Rossi because he’s arrogant,” Al Wheeler says through gritted teeth.  Meanwhile, Matt deals with his own issues by trashing his office and then leaving the mess for someone else to clean up.  I’m not sure what that was supposed to accomplish but it’s apparently something that Matt just has to do.

Abel Ferrara directed this film five years before King of New York and, in some ways, Fear City feels like a dry run for King of New York.  Both films are highly stylized and both present New York as being a neon-lit Hell where the rich and the poor come together in mutual self-loathing and where the criminals often have more of a code of honor than the cops who are trying to stop them.  Of course, King of New York had Christopher Walken’s magnetic performance as Frank White holding the film and its many storylines together.  Fear City doesn’t really have that.  Billy Dee Williams, Tom Berenger, Jack Scalia, and Melanie Griffith all give strong performance but none of their characters are really quite compelling or grounded enough to keep the film from spinning off into delirious excess.

In other words, Fear City is a mess but it’s one of those over-the-top, shamelessly sordid messes that you really can’t look away from.  There’s enough philosophical dialogue to confirm that, as with King of New York, Ferrara was shooting at something more than just a typical exploitation film.  Unlike King of New York, Ferrara doesn’t quite succeed in saying anything particularly deep about the human condition in Fear City.  But that’s okay.  It’s an entertainingly sordid film.

The History of the World, Part I (1981, directed by Mel Brooks)


Overlong, wildly uneven, gimmicky too a fault, and often laugh out loud funny with a mix of jokes that range from the crude to the sublimely clever to the surprisingly sentimental, The History of the World, Part I is the ultimate Mel Brooks films.

Narrated by Orson Welles and featuring five historical stories and a collection of coming attractions, The History of the World Part I follows man from his caveman origins to the French Revolution and the thread that ties it all together is that humanity always screws up but still finds a way to survive.  Moses (Mel Brooks) might drop and break one of the three tablets listing the 15 Commandments but he’s still able to present the other ten.  Stand-up philosopher Comicus (Mel Brooks) might make the mistake of poking fun at the weight of Emperor Nero (Dom DeLuise) but he still makes his escape with Josephus (Gregory Hines), Swiftus (Ron Carey), and Miriam the Vestal Virgin (Mary-Margaret Humes) and ends up serving as the waiter at the Last Supper.  (“Jesus!”)  The Spanish Inquisition may have been a catastrophe but it also gave Torquemada (Mel Brooks) a chance to show off his performance skills.  The French Revolution may have been a bloodbath but the future still held promise.  Ask for a miracle and he’ll show up as a white horse named Miracle, no matter what era of history you’re living in.

The humor is very Mel Brooks.  During the Roman Empire sequence, Madeline Kahn plays Empress Nympho.  Jackie Mason, Harvey Korman, Cloris Leachman, Spike Milligan, Jan Murray, Sammy Shores, Shecky Greene, Sid Caesar, Henny Youngman, and Hugh Hefner all make cameo appearances.  Carl Reiner is the voice of God.  John Hurt plays Jesus.  The film ends with the promise of a sequel that will feature “Jews in Space.”  Not every joke lands.  The entire caveman sequence feels forced.  But when the film works — like during The Inquisition production number — it’s hard not get caught up in its anything-goes style.  The entire Roman Empire sequence is probably more historically accurate than the typical Hollywood Roman epic.  That’s especially true of Dom DeLuise’s naughty performance as Emperor Nero.

Mel Brooks is 99 years old today and he says that he has at least one more film to give us, a sequel to Spaceballs.  I’m looking forward to it!  I’m also looking forward to rewatching and enjoying all of the films that he’s already given us.  The History of the World, Part I may not have initially enjoyed the critical acclaim of his earlier films but, in all of its anarchistic glory, it’s still pure Mel Brooks.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.20 “Forget-Me-Not/The Quizmasters”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, Tattoo is still missing.

Episode 5.20 “Forget-Me-Not/The Quizmasters”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on April 10th, 1982)

Amnesiac Ellen Layton (Jill St. John) comes to the Island in hopes of remembering who she was in her past life.  Ever since she was tossed off a horse and struck her head, Ellen has not been able to recall a single detail of her old life.  Roarke agrees to help, using another one of those magic plants that seem to grow in abundance on Fantasy Island.  However, Roarke also shows Julie a hologram that reveals that, in her previous life, Ellen was a ruthless businesswoman who fired people at the drop of a hat.

As quickly becomes obvious, amnesiac Ellen is far happier than corporate Ellen.  Afterall, amnesiac Ellen has all sorts of friends on the Island and she even has sleazy Mike Collins (Dan Gautier) pretending to be in love with her.  (In what I believe is a Fantasy Island first, we hear the thoughts of Mike and several other men when they first learn that the wealthy and beautiful Ellen can’t remember anything about her past life.)  But when Ellen’s real husband (Brett Halsey) comes to the Island looking for her, she has to decide if she wants to go back to who she used to be or if she wants to continue being the carefree amnesiac that she’s been for the last several months.  Which will she choose?

You already know the answer to that one.  Ellen’s fantasy really wasn’t that interesting.  I preferred the first part of the show’s other fantasy.  Two game show hosts (Gene Rayburn and Jan Murray), who are both in love with the same woman (Vikki Carr), come to the Island because they want to compete in the ultimate game show.  Roarke actually sets up a game show for them, with himself as host and a studio audience.  The two men are asked a question.  The first man to answer correctly is given the choice of opening one of four doors.  Three of the doors contain prizes, like love and money.  The other door is the …. DOOR OF DEATH!

One of the joys of this episode is watching Ricardo Montalban play a game show host.  He appears to be having a blast, especially when he gets to dramatically remind the two contestants about “the Door of Death!”  And, while the two men do manage to open up two of the doors successfully (leading one contestant rescuing Vikki Carr from being burned at the stake as a witch and the other contestant robbing a 1920s bank), the third door that the two men open is THE DOOR OF DEATH!

Unfortunately, the Door of Death turns out to be a bit anticlimatic.  The two men and the women they love have to survive in the wilderness while being pursued by an archer whose fantasy is to — *sigh* — hunt the most dangerous prey of all, man.  The show just did a Most Dangerous Game knock-off just two episodes ago so why do it again?  Fortunately, both of the game show hosts and the woman they’re fighting over survive.  They leave the Island together, their love triangle unresolved.

The game show had a lot of potential but this episode was disappointing.  Unfortunately, Tattoo was not in this episode and Julie served as Roarke’s assistant.  Nothing against Julie but the whole game show thing seemed like it would have been a perfect set up for some Roarke/Tattoo banter.  This show was definitely better with Tattoo than without him.

Retro Television Review: Roll, Freddy, Roll (Dir by Bill Persky)


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1974’s Roll, Freddy, Roll!  It  can be viewed on YouTube!

Poor Freddy Menlo!

Played by Tim Conway, Freddy is a well-meaning guy who gets absolutely zero respect from the rest of the world.  He works as a computer programmer but his boss (Henry Jones) doesn’t think much of him and an attempt to score a contract with the U.S. Navy falls through when Admiral Norton (Scott Brady) announces that he doesn’t think much of computers.  Meanwhile, his ex-wife (Ruta Lee) has fallen in love with and married “Big Sid” Kane (Jan Murray).  Big Sid is a millionaire who made his fortune selling used cars.  Big Sid is seen every day on television.  And, due to catching the biggest bluefish tuna on record while on his honeymoon, Big Sid Kane is now in the Guinness Book of the World Records.

A lesser engineer would crack under the pressure and go on a rampage through Los Angeles, Falling Down-style.  But Freddy just wants to be a good father.  He just wants his son, Tommy (Moosie Drier), to look up to him the way that he now looks up to Big Sid.  Freddy takes Tommy to a roller skating rink and awkwardly skates around while Tommy talks about how much he enjoys going to Big Sid’s car lot.  When it’s time to leave the rink, Freddy is informed that his shoes have been lost.  An angry Freddy refuses to return the rink’s skates until he gets back his shoes.  Freddy then takes Tommy down to Big Sid’s used car lot, where Big Sid has invited other people to come and try to set world records of their own.  A local news reporter sees that Freddy is on roller skates and announces that Freddy is seeking to set the world record for the most time spent rolling around!  Finally, Freddy has found a way to impress his son!

Excuse me while I catch my breath.  That was a lot of plot to cram into just two paragraphs.

Roll, Freddy, Roll is not a particularly complicated movie.  For the most part, it exists solely so that Tim Conway can do some mild physical comedy while trying to balance himself on roller skates.  It only has a 73-minute run time and it basically feels like an extended episode of an old sitcom.  With all that in mind, it still seems like it takes forever to actually get Freddy into those roller skates and once he does put them on, the movie keeps up coming with implausible excuses to keep him from taking them off until he finally decides to go for the world record.  The story would have been stronger if Freddy has been the one to look at his feet and say, “I’m going to set a world record,” as opposed to him just being bullied into it by a news reporter.  Tim Conway’s likable but there’s only so many times you can watch someone fall on roller skates before the joke starts to wear thin.

It would not surprise me if Roll, Freddy, Roll was meant to be a pilot for a sitcom.  It’s easy to imagine Tim Conway trying to impress his son and win back his wife by doing something stupid on a weekly basis.  As far as I know, Roll, Freddy, Roll did not lead to a television series and that’s probably a good thing.  Freddy had a hard enough time just rolling around Los Angeles for two days!  Who knows what would have happened if he had tried to do it on a weekly basis!?

Kolchak: The Night Stalker 1.4 “The Vampire” (dir by Don Weis)


On tonight’s episode of Kolchak….

Kolchak is on assignment in Los Angeles and he’s shocked to discover that the town is turning into a city of vampires!  This episode is a sequel to the made-for-TV movie that first introduced to Carl Kolchak to the world.  Not only does this episode feature a vampire but it also features the great character actor, William Daniels.  William Daniels is one of those actors who plays astonishment quite well so his scenes with Kolchak are a lot of fun.

This episode originally aired on October 4th, 1974.

Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4wykRWPOkQ