Short Film Review: You Can’t Escape (dir by Renner Zatye)


yce

Remember that old game where you would go up to a stranger’s house, ring the doorbell, and then run off?  It’s one of those simple games that really shouldn’t be that much fun and yet, strangely, it is.  The thrill of the game really doesn’t come from the fact that you’re making someone open the front door for no good reason.  Instead, the thrill comes from seeing if you can run away before that door opens.

You Can’t Escape, the latest short film from Rubbish Rebel Media, opens with a child (Rayce Zatye) walking through an apparently suburban neighborhood and doing just that.  He runs up to houses, he rings the doorbell, and then he runs off.  As he does this, we can’t help but notice that the neighborhood appears to be deserted.  Where are all the other people?  Does anyone ever actually answer their door?  From the way that the film is directed, we get the feeling that someone may be watching the child but who?

And when the child returns to his own house … well, I won’t spoil the film.  Let’s just say that it concludes with a surreal bang.

You Can’t Escape lasts just a little over 2 minutes and the end leaves us with just as many questions as answers.  That’s okay, though.  The key to horror is the fact that not all questions have easy answers.  Director Renner Zatye emphasizes atmosphere and, despite the film’s short length, he captures several uneasy images.  The scenes of Racye Zatye walking through that deserted neighborhood are undeniably creepy.  A scene where the child walks by several trees especially made me nervous.  This is one of those films that asks you to consider what could be hiding behind those trees and whether or not you’re ever as safe as you think.

yce2

You Can’t Escape should be getting a release in a few months so be sure to keep an eye out for it!

 

ALOHA! What is your deepest pit? #TheFundamentalsOfCaring


 

the_fundamentals_of_caring_poster

Ok, going to preface this review by just saying three things:

1: I needed a good cry movie tonight; I had to get some things out of my system.

2: The rest of this review might not be SFW!

Oh, forgot, the technicalities:

The Fundamentals of Caring is a Netflix original movie based on the book “The Revised Fundamentals of Caregiving”  by Jonathan Evison

Stars:

Paul Rudd: as Ben  (Friends, Anchorman, 40-year-old virgin)

Selena Gomez: as Dot (Yeah, all that teenage stuff, singer turned amazing actress.)

Jennifer Ehle: as Elsa (Fifty Shades of Grey, The Black List, also born in my home town!)

Craig Roberts: as Trevor (Being Human, Red Oaks)

Director: (Emmy Award Winning) Rob Burnett

Plot:

A man (Rudd) after suffering a horrible loss decides to reach out and, not in his best interest, become a caregiver. Trevor (Roberts), a bitter kid without a Dad decides to take him on.  How does this end up? Well, on a road trip across the country with the kid he is there to care-give for, fountains of youth are found….In a deep dark pit between them….

Review:

I needed a good cry movie tonight, and The Fundamentals of Caring did that for me! Actually, Selena Gomez kinda took the movie in a way I wasn’t expecting.Got to give her a lot of props for what she did in it. Was it a great movie? By no means…Does it fill a deep pit in your soul when you need a movie to cry too?…Yes, it absolutely does!

The Fundamentals of Caring is on Netflix now… and if you want to see a trailer you can…..

WAIT…WAIT…WAIT…. I said there was three things in my preface!!

3: fuck you…No, Fuck you…NO…FUCK you!…Now Stand up and take your piss! Stand up and take a PISS!

Told ya, Not all of this review would be SFW!

 

BTW: Trevor Conklin was handsome and cool……ALOHA!

Listen Close; You’ll never get it out of your head #Earworm


earworn

Writer and Director: Tara Price

Stars: Ernest Thomas

Production: Dirigo Entertainment

Have you ever woken up one morning with a song stuck in your head, just bouncing around, like you can never get it out?

Yeah?….Well, this is not the song you want to wake up to tomorrow!

In Tara Price’s new short film Earworm, that is what it is all about. What can you take? The relentless, unending things on (in) your mind can take everything out of you.

Preview:

For a short film (Thomas)  gives everything, literally, everything. And Tara knows how to write, direct and tell the story she wants!

After watching the trailer, I went to bed with my earholes tightly closed!

If you would like to see a trailer for Earworm movie you can here!

 

Here’s The Trailer for Rings!


Now, I may be alone in this (or, at least, it sometimes feels as if I am) but I absolutely love The Ring.  I wasn’t necessarily a big fan of the sequel but the first Ring remains one of my favorite horror films.  In fact, I may have to revisit it in October for TSL’s annual horror month!

Well, after 11 years, The Ring is finally about to get another sequel!  In Rings, it turns out that the killer video has gone viral, which, now that I think about it, was also a skit on Robot Chicken.  Sadly, Naomi Watts will not be returning for Rings.  In fact, the entire cast pretty much screams VOD.

But no matter!  I will still see Rings the day that it opens.  (That would be October 28th, just in time for Halloween.)

And I’ll probably scream a lot…

A House Is Not A Home Has A Release Date!


A House Is Not A Home

Remember, back in 2014, when I reviewed a horror film called A House Is Not A Home?  Well, if you don’t, I’ll remind you what I thought about the film in a second.  But first, I wanted to let you know that A House Is Not A Home not only has a brand new and super intense poster (seen above) but it also has a release date!

Following a limited theatrical run, MVD Entertainment Group will be releasing A House Is Not A Home on DVD and digital platforms on September 27th!  Directed by Christopher Douglas-Olen Ray and starring  Bill Cobbs, Richard Grieco, Eddie Steeples, Aurora Perrineau, Diahnna Nicole Baxter, Gerald Webb, and Melvin Gregg, A House Is Not A Home premiered at the Burbank International Film Festival, where it picked up the award for Best Horror Feature!

You can order a copy of A House Is Not A Home from amazon or at the MVD Shop.

You can check out my review by clicking here.  If you don’t have time to check out my review, I’ll give you the short version: A House Is Not A Home is an atmospheric, well-acted, and entertaining horror film.  It’s an effectively creepy film and features a genuinely interesting exorcism scene.  As I said at the end of my review, the film’s dream-like and horrific atmosphere compares to the best of Lucio Fulci.

Finally, to quote directly from my review:

A House Is Not A Home is one of the few non-comedic films that I’ve seen recently that featured an almost entirely African-American cast.  That’s really saying something when you consider that I literally watch hundreds of films a year.  At a time when mainstream filmmaking (and the horror genre in particular) still seems to be struggling to break free from racial stereotyping, A House Is Not A Home is definitely a step in the right direction.”

I wrote that two years ago.  I’m glad to see that now everyone else will have a chance to discover A House Is Not A Home for themselves!

Here’s the film’s trailer:

 

Cleaning Out The DVR, Again #30: The Inherited (dir by Devon Gummersall)


(Lisa is currently in the process of trying to clean out her DVR by watching and reviewing all 40 of the movies that she recorded from the start of March to the end of June.  She’s trying to get it all done by the end of July 11th!  Will she make it!?  Keep visiting the site to find out!)

The-Inherited

The 30th film on my DVR was broadcast on the Lifetime Movie Network on June 5th.  It was aired under the title The Inherited but, according to the imdb, it was originally called Stranger In The House.  I imagine that Lifetime changed the title in order to keep viewers from confusing it with a previous Lifetime film that happened to have the same title.

Anyway, regardless of the title, this is a very confusing movie.  That’s not necessarily a bad thing.  This is just one of those films where, in order to truly understand what’s happening, you have to be willing to give the film some thought.  It’s a film that raises many questions but doesn’t always supply easy answers.  The answers are there but you have to be willing to look for them.

Unfortunately, because this film demands a certain amount of focus on the part of the audience, commercial television is probably the worst place for it to show up.  When the action stops every fifteen minutes for a 3-minute block of commercials, it makes it a little bit difficult to remember what’s happened from one scene to another.

Stranger In The House/The Inherited tells the story of Eve (Jenn Liu) and Tom (Nathan Darrow).  Eve and Tom has just gotten married.  Eve lost her parents when she was younger and — well, to be honest, I’m not sure why the film opens with Eve’s parents dying.  (Later, we find out that Tom’s parents also died when he was young.  Maybe it’s all connected, maybe it isn’t.  I honestly don’t know.)  Tom is a widower.  His first wife died but, in her will, she left Tom her family’s home on the condition that Tom never sell the house.

As soon as Tom and Eve move into the house, strange things start to happen.  Eve thinks that she hears strange noises and she’s upset to discover that Tom has secrets that he hasn’t told her about.  When his former sister-in-law, Wendy (Tammy Blanchard), comes over for dinner, she and Tom get into a huge argument that ends when Wendy’s necklace suddenly tightly wraps around her neck.  Eve thinks there is something terrible in the house but Tom continually says that she’s imagining things.  Fortunately, the housekeeper (Annabella Sciorra) believes Eve and even shares the fact that Tom cooked all of his first wife’s meals before she mysteriously fell ill and died.  Suddenly, Tom’s cooking for Eve…

Soon, Eve doesn’t know who she can trust.  Is the house haunted or is she going crazy?  Is Tom trying to murder her or is Eve just going crazy?  Is the housekeeper Eve’s friend or is Eve just going crazy?  Could the film be any more of a Rebecca rip-off or is Eve just crazy?  Is this film Gaslight or is it The Haunting?

I had to watch the ending a few times before I could tell you for sure.  The Inherited is not always an easy film to follow.  It’s directed in a deliberately dream-like manner, which leads to some memorably surreal scenes but which can also be frustrating when you’re trying to figure out what the Hell’s going on.  Personally, I liked The Inherited because it had a lot of atmosphere, some good acting, and a lot of twists and turns.  But it’s definitely not a film for everyone.  You have to be willing to accept the fact that the movie is never going to make much sense.

On  final note, Jenn Lui not only wrote this film but she also gave herself the lead role.  That was a smart decision because the script is definitely written to her strengths as a performer.  She gives a great performance, one that helps to hold this somewhat uneven film together.

Cleaning Out The DVR, Again #18: House of Darkness (dir by Patrick DeLuca)


(Lisa is currently in the process of trying to clean out her DVR by watching and reviewing all 40 of the movies that she recorded from the start of March to the end of June.  She’s trying to get it all done by July 10th!  Will she make it!?  Keep visiting the site to find out!)

HouseofDarkness

The 18th film on the DVR was the Lifetime original movie, House of Darkness.  

House of Darkness is a film that asks a question that I’m sure we have all asked ourselves at least once: “What if Lifetime made a horror film?  What would that be like?”

Well, apparently, it would be like every single horror film that you’ve ever seen.  There is not a single cliché that does not show up in House of Darkness.  It starts out with the promise that we are about see a true story and hey, maybe it was!  After all, the film reminded me of a lot of other horrors film — Amityville, Paranormal Activity, and others — that were supposedly based on true stories.

Kelly (Sara Fletcher) and Brian (Gunner Wright) are a married couple but they are also a Lifetime couple, which means that their marriage is in trouble!  Brian is a carpenter who has a difficult time opening up emotionally.  Kelly is a massage therapist, which Brian appears to think is the equivalent of working in a brothel.  How bad is their marriage?  When Brian sees Kelly wearing sexy lingerie in an effort to liven things up, he responds by going out to the garage.

Fortunately, Brian and Kelly have been seeing a marriage counselor.  The counselor suggests that they both start keeping a video diary, which allows the film to occasionally so some found footage shots.  (That’s the Paranormal Activity influence.)  If the video diaries don’t help, maybe moving to a new house in San Francisco will do the trick!

And you know what?  It’s a great house but the owners didn’t want much money for it.  It’s almost as if they were trying to get rid of the house.  I wonder what that could mean!

Anyway, Kelly and Brian’s daughter is soon wandering around, speaking in a demonic voice while giving everyone Hillary Clinton-style death glares, and encouraging her friends to wander into the basement.  Meanwhile, Brian is acting even weirder and suddenly, it’s like he can’t go anywhere without bringing an axe with him!

And then there’s the neighbors.  A sexy woman and a superhot man occasionally appear standing in front of the house across the road.  The woman smiles at Brian, tempting him to … to do what?  I guess that the idea here is to encourage Brian to start doing his Jack Nicholson impersonation but I wasn’t sure.  I suspect, to a certain extent, that the ghosts and the evil spirits and whatever the Hell is in the house don’t really have any goals beyond doing the usual horror stuff.  They probably said, “Look!  A stationary camera!  Let’s go knock shit around!”

Anyway, House of Darkness is pretty much just a festival of nonstop clichés and scenes lifted from other horror films.  It’s never really scary, largely because it’s a made-for-TV movie and, since it’s Lifetime, you know that it’s not going to be disturbing or graphic like The Walking Dead or Game of Thrones.  Without any intentional humor or unexpected scares, House of Darkness is largely forgettable.

Happy 100th Birthday Olivia de Havilland!: HUSH… HUSH, SWEET CHARLOTTE (20th Century Fox 1964)


gary loggins's avatarcracked rear viewer

char1

Today marks the 100th birthday of one of the last true Golden Age greats, Olivia de Havilland. Film fans across the globe are celebrating the life and career of this fine actress, who fought the Hollywood system and won. Olivia is the last surviving cast member of GONE WITH THE WIND (Melanie Wilkes), won two Academy Awards (TO EACH HIS OWN, THE HEIRESS), headlined classics like THE SNAKE PIT and THE DARK MIRROR, and costarred with dashing Errol Flynn in eight exciting films, including CAPTAIN BLOOD , THE ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD, SANTA FE TRAIL, and THEY DIED WITH THEIR BOOTS ON.

Olivia moved to Paris with her husband in the 1950’s and was semi-retired, acting in a handful of films. In 1962 director Robert Aldrich  scored a huge hit, a psychological horror thriller called WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE?, starring screen veterans Bette Davis and Joan Crawford. A new genre was…

View original post 835 more words

Film Review: The Conjuring 2 (dir by James Wan)


Conjuring_2

The Conjuring 2 will scare the Hell out of you.

Seriously, I’ve seen a lot of horror films, including the first Conjuring (which I absolutely loved).  I’ve seen ghosts, vampires, demons, werewolves, psycho killers, and threats in the shadows.  I’ve seen cats jump out of closets.  I’ve seen ghostly faces suddenly appear in the darkness.  I’ve heard screams and chants and howls.  I’ve seen limbs severed in every possible way.  I’ve seen a lot of cinematic horror and, as a result, I tend to feel that there is nothing that can scare me.

Well, it turns out that’s not true because The Conjuring 2 scared the Hell out of me.

In many ways, The Conjuring 2 tells a familiar story.  Once again, the film begins with an opening crawl that informs us that what we’re about to see is based on a true story.  Once again, a loving but chaotic family is being haunted by evil spirits and the Church has asked paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren to investigate.

The setup may sound familiar but director James Wan manages to keep the scares compelling.  Over the past few years, Wan has emerged as one of our greatest genre filmmakers.  Whether he’s directing an Insidious film or the latest Fast & Furious installment, James Wan knows how to hold an audience’s attention and how to make the potentially predictable compelling.  In The Conjuring 2, Wan creates and maintains such an atmosphere of dread that even the expected scares (bumps in the dark, voices in the shadows, slamming doors, and faces suddenly appearing in the background) take on an ominous intensity.  From the very first shot, Wan leaves the audience with a profound feeling of unease.  I was not alone in covering my eyes during a few scenes.  I was also not alone is occasionally looking around the darkened theater, just to make sure that there weren’t any ghosts creeping up on me.

That said, we all already know that James Wan is a master of horror.  We know that he can tell a ghost story and, from the minute we saw the first trailer, we all knew that The Conjuring 2 was going to be scary.  What sets The Conjuring 2 apart is the same thing that made the first Conjuring so special.  (For that matter, it’s the same thing that made Wan’s Furious 7 so special.)  Wan fills the screen with horror and spectacle but he also finds the time to celebrate his character’s humanity.

There’s a scene that occurs about 90 minutes into The Conjuring 2.  Ed (Patrick Wilson) and Lorraine (Vera Farmiga) are visiting with the haunted family.  The family has been shaken by both the supernatural and the fact that so many people refuse to believe that they are actually being haunted.  Ed spies a guitar sitting in the corner of the room.  He grabs it and, with the haunted children gathered around them, he launches into a surprisingly good Elvis impersonation.  He sings I Can’t Help Falling In Love With You, all the while glancing over at Lorraine standing in the doorway.

(What makes this especially touching is that Lorraine has been having premonitions of Ed’s violent death and is terrified that she’s going to lose him before they finish investigating this case.)

It’s a totally unexpected scene and yet it works perfectly.  Some of it is because Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga have this great chemistry that makes you believe that they actually have been married for years.  But it’s also because the scene reminds us that The Conjuring 2 is about more than just ghosts and scares.  It’s also about love and family.  The haunting is threatening to end Ed and Lorraine’s love story.  The haunting is threatening to destroy a loving family.  Ed and Lorraine aren’t just investigating a ghost but they’re also saving a family.  They’re not just fighting against the supernatural.  They’re fighting for love.

And, in our cynical times, that may sound corny or silly or old-fashioned.  Well. you know what?  The Conjuring was an old-fashioned film and, in a way, so is The Conjuring 2.  But who cares?  Horror works best when it’s mixed with humanity.  The Conjuring 2 may be a horror film but it’s also a celebration of humanity, love, and family.

You may have noticed that I haven’t go into many specifics about the plot of The Conjuring 2.  I don’t want to spoil it for you.  This is a film that you should experience with fresh eyes.  I could tell you about the scariest scene in this film but, if I did, you would not get the full experience.  I’ll just say that I’ve seen a lot of scary movie nuns but none of them can compare to The Conjuring 2.

The Conjuring 2 is the best supernatural horror film that I’ve seen this year so far.  It will scare you and it will touch your heart.  See it.

Also, be sure to stay for the end credits, which feature a lot of genuinely creepy snapshots of the actual locations where the film’s haunting is said to have occurred.  Not only are the pictures scary but they also show the care with which The Conjuring 2 recreated 1970s London.  Is the picture below a scene from the film or is it a picture that was taken during the actual haunting?  You’ll have to see The Conjuring 2 to find out!

the-conjuring-2-1

 

Shark Exorcist: Movie Trailer and thoughts. #SharkExorcist


I just found about this movie today and my first thought was “Why hasn’t somebody thought of this before?!?” And then went, “Whoever thought of it, why!?!”

But, yes, this is an actual movie coming out straight to DVD / Blu-ray, and I can’t wait to get to watch it! My love of cheesy, bad, b-rated horror movies and all!

Premise:

A Nun summons Satan to inhabit the body of a Great White shark; which, in turn … well, a priest, an exorcism…who knows, who cares! A Shark Exorcism!

Who is behind it?

This is a WildEye Releasing movie. Who have had a couple of fun movies like “Walking Dead in the West” and “Killersaurus

Who is in it?

Angela Kerecz: “Dumb and Dumber to” “Hot Tub Time Machine 2

Bobby Kerecz: “Hot Tub Time Machine 2

See a pattern?…any way, I digress.

I have not seen the movie yet; but the poster looks great!

shark exorsist movie poster

 

And if you want to see the trailer, and you really do…you can here!

Shark Exorcist will be on DVD / Blu-ray June 28th and I may or may not be already standing in line, with a Crucifix around my neck!