Insomnia File #38: Six: The Mark Unleashed (dir by Kevin Downes)

Posted on October 31, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

What’s an Insomnia File? You know how some times you just can’t get any sleep and, at about three in the morning, you’ll find yourself watching whatever you can find on cable? This feature is all about those insomnia-inspired discoveries!

If on Sunday night, if you were having trouble getting to sleep around midnight and if you lived in North Texas, you could have turned over to channel 58 and watched a 2004 film called Six: The Mark Unleashed.

Six: The Mark Unleashed is an evangelical film about the end of the world. By that, I mean there’s a lot of talk about tribulation, the mark of the Beast, and all the rest of that. The whole world is one big secular dystopia, in which people who refuse to accept the mark of the beast are sent to prison and given the choice of either getting the mark or getting their head chopped off.

I think one reason why so many faith-based films deal with the end of the world is because it allows characters to rebel, break the law, blow stuff up, and steal cars while still getting to remain a believer. I mean, usually, you run into the problems of turning the other cheek and giving unto Caesar what is Caesar’s but, once you’ve been left behind, you can pretty much do anything you want because you’re fighting against Satan.

Now, admittedly, the car thieves in Six aren’t into religion. They’re just rebels who didn’t want to get the mark and who are talked into stealing a car by Eric Roberts. (That’s right, Eric Roberts is in this movie. Eventually, Eric Roberts will be in every movie.) Anyway, the two thieves get caught in that stolen car and they get sent to prison.

Also getting sent to prison is Tow Newman, who is a smuggler who was arrested by his own ex-wife! Tom is given the option of either losing his head or infiltrating a group of Christians and killing their leader. What’s interesting about this is that Tom is played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan. That’s right. Negan is in this movie! Morgan goes all in and does a pretty good job as Tom. In fact, I’d say his performance here is more interesting than his work on The Walking Dead. It helps, of course, that Tom is the only person in the film who actually has a character arc.

Stephen Baldwin’s in the movie, too. That’s not really a shock because it’s a proven statistic that 9 out of 10 evangelical movies will feature Stephen Baldwin. Anyway, Baldwin plays Luke, who is a prison preacher and who teaches everyone about peace and forgiveness. He gets beat up for his troubles.

In the end, it all leads to three characters being tortured until they agree to accept the mark of the beast. Two of them refuse and lose their heads. One says yes and regrets it forever. Try to guess who does what! It’s fun.

Anyway, I have to admit that I always find these low-budget, independent films to be a little bit fascinating. It’s always interesting to me to see movies that were obviously made with one very specific audience in mind, whether that audiences is religious, political, or whatever. Six is the type of film that, quite literally, preaches to the choir. Those who share its vision of the end of the world will nod in agreement. Those who do not will roll their eyes. Both sides will probably end up getting too worked up, since that’s what people tend to do. Myself, I just find myself wondering if there’s any role that Eric Roberts would turn down.

Previous Insomnia Files:

Cleaning Out The DVR: In the Blink of An Eye (dir by Michael Sinclair)

Posted on September 19, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

I recorded the 2009 film, In The Blink of an Eye, off of one of the local channels on September 9th.

Remember how Bill Murray had to relive the same day over and over again in Groundhog Day?

Well, consider this to be Rapture Day!

David A.R. White, who has been involved in several faith-based, apocalyptic-minded productions, plays David, an agnostic cop who saves the life of pop star Lindsey O’Connor (Jessica Hope), who is obviously meant to be a Britney Spears/Miley Cyrus type of figure. She really needs someone to step in and help her get some control over her life but, before that can happen, she has to go on vacation in Mexico with her manager. Since David saved her life and all, he and his wife (Andrea Logan White) and his ultra-religious partner (Lonnie Colon) are invited to accompany her.

Of course, David has an ulterior motive for accepting that invitation. David’s captain (Eric Roberts!) thinks that Lindsey’s manager might have connections to the shadowy world of international organized crime! So, David is not only going to Mexico to relax. He’s also going down there to investigate!

But, of course, then the Rapture happens so none of that really matters. David’s wife vanishes. David’s partner vanishes. You know who doesn’t vanish? That’s right — David!

At first, David is confused as to what happened. In fact, he’s so confused that he ends up getting killed by Lindsey’s manager! But fear not! No sooner has David died than he’s waking up and reliving the day. Once again, his wife and his partner vanish. Once again, David gets killed. Once again, David awakens and has to relive the whole day all over again…

So, here’s my issue with In the Blink Of An Eye. Now, admittedly, I don’t share the film’s Evangelical background but, since the film takes a premillennialist approach to its story, doesn’t that mean that everyone in the movie should only get one chance to be raptured? I mean, isn’t the idea that the “living elect” ascend to the Heaven and everyone who didn’t get selected basically has to live through the tribulation, regardless of whether they later come to have faith or not?

But instead, in this film, David gets not just one chance but six different chances to get raptured! That doesn’t seem quite fair, especially since no one else in the film appears to get that chance. Eric Roberts certainly doesn’t get that chance. Instead, he just get an email telling him not accept the sign of the beast. That really doesn’t seem quite fair.

But hey, at least Eric Roberts is in the movie! Seriously, you never know where Eric Roberts is going to pop up. He doesn’t really get to do much in this movie. His role is mostly a cameo but he’s Eric Roberts so who cares?

In the Blink of an Eye attempts to wed religious debate with a crime thriller plot. Due to some awkward dialogue, stiff performances, and a particularly bizarre obsession with denouncing popular music, (the cops make some comments about dealing with “the people who listen to rap music” that will literally have you cringing), the film doesn’t come any where close to working. That said, I have to admit that, as someone who is always interested in films made outside of the normal studio system, that I do often find these low-budget, faith-based films to be interesting, just for the chance to see what people can do when they have no money but a lot of enthusiasm.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #182: Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (dir by Doug Campbell)

Posted on June 11, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

On Sunday night, I watched the third chapter in the Stalked By My Doctor franchise, Patient’s Revenge!

Why Was I Watching It?

The obvious answer is that I was watching it because it was on Lifetime. This summer, Lifetime is going to be premiering a new movie every Sunday. Given my obsession with Lifetime movies, it shouldn’t be hard to guess what I’ll be doing on most Sunday nights.

Of course, at the same time, I absolutely loved both Stalked By My Doctor and Stalked By My Doctor: The Return. There was no way that I was going to miss the next chapter in the saga of Dr. Albert Beck.

And finally, there’s the Eric Roberts factor. Quite a few of us here at the TSL Bunker are fascinated by the always interesting, often downright bizarre career of Eric Roberts. He’s a talented and always quirky actor who apparently really likes to work. The appeal of Eric Roberts is you never know where he’s going to turn up. You can find him in theaters. You can find him on Lifetime. You can find in him in blockbusters and you can find him in short students films. You can even find him in music videos. Eric Roberts is everywhere! And, even more importantly, he’s always willing to throw himself into every role that he plays, no matter how bizarre that role may be.

What Was It About?

Following the events of the second Stalked By My Doctor film, Dr. Albert Beck (Eric Roberts) was put on trial for kidnapping Sophie Green (Brianna Joy Chomer). Despite all of the evidence against him, Dr. Beck was acquitted. (Perhaps it had something to do with the way he smiled and waved at one certain juror during the trial…) Now, Dr. Beck is teaching at a college in Arizona. To most people, Dr. Beck appears to be perfectly normal, if understandably anxious. However, it doesn’t take long to discover that Dr. Beck still has plenty of issues.

For instance, the first time he steps into a classroom, he immediately imagine all of his students undressing in front of him. Whenever Beck talks to himself, he imagines that he sees another Dr. Beck sitting in front of him. The imaginary Dr. Beck wears a Hawaiian shirt and always seems to disagree with whatever the real Dr. Beck wants to do.

Following Beck’s acquittal, Sophie has started dressing in all black. She’s also secretly transferred to Dr. Beck’s school, where she immediately starts to circulate a petition to get him fired. However, Dr. Beck apparently has a new girlfriend. Her name is Melissa (Anna Marie Dobbins) and she appears to be just as obsessed with Dr. Beck as Dr. Beck once was with Sophie. When Melissa says that she’ll do anything to protect Dr. Beck, she’s not exaggerating. Soon, Melissa is taking things further than even Dr. Beck could have predicted…

What Worked?

Three words: Dancing Eric Roberts. At one point, out of nowhere, Dr. Beck starts to sing to Sophie. He takes her hand and the two of them start to dance by the side of the road. Of course, it’s another one of Dr. Beck’s fantasies but who cares? It’s a brilliantly strange and unexpected moment and it’s also a perfect example of what makes the Stalked By My Doctor films so much fun. Dr. Beck is such a flamboyantly unhinged character that literally anything can happen.

Just as in the previous two films, Eric Roberts appears to be having the time of his life in the role of Dr. Beck. He’s just so weaselly and desperate to be viewed as normal that it becomes fascinating to watch him try to fool everyone. Each Stalked By My Doctor film starts with the question of just how far Dr. Beck is going to go this time and, thanks to Roberts, it’s always a lot of fun to discover the answer. Rather brilliantly, in this installment, Roberts plays up Beck’s befuddlement. Often times, not even Dr. Beck can believe how crazy he is!

(“Did I do that?” Beck sincerely asks himself at one point.)

Brianna Joy Chomer and Anna Marie Dobbins also did good work in their roles. Dobbins, especially, seemed to be having a lot of fun outcrazying Dr. Beck.

There’s a twist towards the end of the movie, of course. You might see the twist coming but it’s still entertaining. In fact, the whole film is entertaining. This is a fun and over-the-top Lifetime melodrama, one that knows better than to take itself too seriously. With each wink at the audience, it invites us to relax and enjoy.

What Didn’t Work?

It all worked!

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

Much like Sophie, I used to always wear black. And, much like Melissa, I’ve learned that pretending to faint is a good way to become the center of attention.

Lessons Learned

You can’t keep a good doctor down!

Music Video of the Day: Hey You by Godhead (2006, dir by A.J. Rickert-Epstein)

Posted on June 5, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

So, I have to admit that today’s music video of the day is a bit of a last minute pick for me. I got so busy reviewing trailers and watching cute cats on YouTube that I nearly forgot to pick a video!

And why did I pick this video?

Two words: Eric Roberts.

The video itself is okay. The same can be said for the song. (By now, you should be able to guess that my musical taste pretty much runs the gamut from EDM to more EDM.) But, that said, the main reason I picked this video is because it features the reliably eccentric presence of Eric Roberts.

I guess the idea behind this video is that, if your boyfriend’s being a dick, you can call Eric Roberts and he’ll make the guy’s life difficult. That sounds good to me and I’m sure if anyone could make that into a profitable business model, it would be Eric Roberts. That said, judging from this video, it doesn’t look like he really got the job done here.

I don’t know. It’s a confusing video, to be honest. That’s okay, though. Confusion is a good reminder that there are still mysteries left to be explored.

Enjoy!

Music Video of The Day: Mr. Brightside by the Killers (2004, dir by Sophie Muller)

Posted on April 19, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Yesterday, in honor of Eric Roberts’s birthday, I shared the video for The Killers’s Miss Atomic Bomb.

Today, I’m sharing the video for Mr. Brightside, which is a bit of a prequel to Miss Atomic Bomb. Eric Roberts and Izabella Miko are featured in both videos. The shared theme of the two videos seems to be that Brandon Flowers simply cannot compete with Eric Roberts.

Enjoy!

4 Shots From 4 Films: Star 80, Doctor Who, The Dark Knight, Stalked By My Doctor: The Return

Posted on April 18, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Shots from 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots from 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Eric Roberts, who turned 62 years old today, has appeared in over 500 movies since 1978. Here are 4 shots from 4 of them.

4 Shots From 4 Films

Star 80 (1983, dir by Bob Fosse)

Doctor Who: The Movie (1996, dir by Geoffrey Sax)

The Dark Knight (2008, dir by Christopher Nolan)

Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016, dir by Doug Campbell)

Music Video of the Day: Miss Atomic Bomb by The Killers (2012, dir by Warren Fu)

Posted on April 18, 2018 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today is Eric Roberts’s birthday!

With that in mind, it just seems like the obvious choice to pick the video for Miss Atomic Bomb by the Killers for today’s music video of the day. This video features not only a live action Eric Roberts but an animated version as well!

Eric Roberts appears to be playing some sort of white-suited ghost who specializes in getting women to fall in love with him. The Miss Atomic Bomb of the video is played by Izabella Miko.

This video was directed by Warren Fu, who has also done videos for … well, almost everyone who matters. Among his other directing credits: Hands by The Ting Tings, Derezzed and Lose Yourself to Dance by Daft Punk, Clearest Blue by Chvrches, and, most recently, Rose-Colored Boy by Paramore.

Here’s wishing a happy birthday to Eric Roberts and I hope all of you … enjoy!

A Movie A Day #279: The Ambulance (1990, directed by Larry Cohen)

Posted on October 14, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

Josh Baker (Eric Roberts) is an extroverted artist for Marvel Comics who meets Cheryl (Janine Turner) while walking around New York City. Josh and Cheryl hit it off but when Cheryl suddenly collapses, she is picked up by a mysterious ambulance. When Josh goes to the hospital to check on her, he is told that Cheryl was never brought in. Soon, Josh discovers that people all over New York have been put into back of the ambulance and have never been seen again. Unfortunately, nobody believes Josh. Not the veteran NYPD detective (James Earl Jones) who Josh approaches with his suspicions. Not the staff of the hospital. Not even Stan Lee! The only people willing to support Josh are an elderly investigative reporter (Red Buttons) and an inexperienced detective (Megan Gallagher).

Yes, Stan Lee does play himself. While he had made a few cameo appearances on television and had previously narrated a French film, The Ambulance was Stan Lee’s first real film role. Josh works at an idealized version of Marvel Comics, where the artists are well-paid, no one is pressured into producing substandard work, and Lee is an avuncular father figure. It is the Marvel Comics that I used to imagine working at when I was growing up, before I found out about what actually happened to artists like Jack Kirby, Joe Simon, and Steve Ditko.

Idealized though it may be, the Marvel connection is appropriate because The Ambulance is essentially a comic book adventure. It does not matter how many times Josh gets hit by a car or falls out of a window, he always recovers in time for the next scene. When Josh does discover who is behind the ambulance, it turns out to be a villain who would not be out-of-place in a Ditko-era Spider-Man story.

The Ambulance is another one of Larry Cohen’s New York horror stories. Like most of Cohen’s films, it is pulpy, cheap, and entertaining. Eric Roberts is as crazy as ever and the movie is full of good character actors like James Earl Jones, Red Buttons, Richard Bright, and Eric Braeden. The Ambulance may be dumb but it is always entertaining.

A Movie A Day #172: Sensation (1994, directed by Brian Grant)

Posted on June 29, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

Doctor Ian Burton (Eric Roberts) is a college professor who believes that objects retain impressions of the past. To prove his theory (and hopefully, not lose tenure), Burton recruits one of his students, Lila Reed (Kari Wuhrer), who has shown that she may have psychic abilities. Lila holds objects and she sees the past. At first, she is intrigued but then she realizes that she keeps seeing the same woman in her visions. The woman was a former student of Burton’s. She was murdered and the good Doctor Burton is the number one suspect. Can Lila use her power to solve the crime and clear Burton’s name? Or is Burton guilty and using her for something more sinister than just testing a thesis?

Sensation is one of the many softcore neo-noirs that used to regularly appear, “after hours,” on HBO and Cinemax in the 1990s. Sensation has a tagline (“An experience in terror”) that it never lives up to but it is still watchable because of the combination of the sexiness of Kari Wuhrer and the strangeness of Eric Roberts. The tawdry mystery will not fool anyone and Wuhrer’s visions were all done better in The Dead Zone but Sensation deserves some credit for at least trying to be a little more creative than the average 1990s straight-to-video release.

Keep an eye out for Ron Pearlman, as the lead detective on the case. He does not get to do much but he’s still Ron Pearlman!

A Movie A Day #122: The Lost Capone (1990, directed by John Gray)

Posted on May 9, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

Chicago. 1915. Up-and-coming gangster Al Capone (Eric Roberts) berates his younger brother, Jimmy (Adrian Pasdar), for not being aggressive enough in a street fight. Not wanting to follow his brothers into a life of organized crime, Jimmy runs away from home and eventually finds himself in Harmony, Nebraska. Claiming to be a World War I vet named Richard Hart, Jimmy impresses everyone with both his marksmanship and his incorruptible nature. Soon, the new Richard Hart has been named town marshal. While Al Capone is taking over the Chicago rackets, Richard is keeping the town safe with his Native American deputy, Joseph Littlecloud (Jimmie F. Skaggs), and starting a family with the local school teacher, Kathleen (Ally Sheedy). When illegal liquor from Chicago starts to show up on a nearby Indian reservation, Richard Hart comes into conflict with the Chicago Outfit and his secret is finally revealed.

There is a sliver of truth to this made-for-TV movie. Al Capone really did have a brother named James, who ended up changing his name to Richard Hart and working as a prohibition agent in Nebraska. Otherwise, the movie changes so many facts that it is hard to know where to begin. In real life, Al and James Capone grew up in New York. James, who was actually several years older than Al, ran away from home not to escape Al’s bullying but because he wanted to join the circus. (Al was only 9 when James ran away.) James changed his name to Richard Hart not to keep people from realizing that he was related to Al but because he admired silent screen cowboy William S. Hart. Though James did work in law enforcement, he never came into conflict with Al Capone’s organization and, in fact, regularly visited Chicago.

The Lost Capone is a forgettable mix of western and gangster clichés, featuring a notably stiff performance from Adrian Pasdar in the lead role. It does feature two of the strangest performances that I have ever seen. Eric Roberts, complete with a phony scar, playing Al Capone is just as weird as it sounds, while Ally Sheedy plays a wholesome and always smiling teacher but delivers her lines in the same halting tone of voice that she used as the “basket case” in The Breakfast Club.

There is probably a good movie that could be made about the life of James Capone/Richard Hart but The Lost Capone is not it.