Guilty Pleasure No. 81: The Replacements (dir by Howard Deutch)

Posted on May 1, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

2000’s The Replacements finds America in crisis!

With the season already underway, football players are going on strike! They want better contracts. They want more money. They want …. well, they want a lot of stuff. Meanwhile, the fans just want to know who is going to make the playoffs. There are only four games left in the season and the Washington Sentinels need to win three of them to make it into the playoffs. The owner of the team (Jack Warden) recruits burned-out coach McGinty (Gene Hackman) to take over a team that will be made up of replacement players. McGinty says that he wants to pick his own players and he doesn’t want any interference from the team’s owner. Anyone want to guess how long that’s going to last?

McGinty’s team is made up of the usual collection of quirky misfits who show up in movies like this. Tight End Brian Murphy (David Denman, who later played Roy on The Office) is deaf. One of the offensive linemen is a former SUMO wrestler. Orlando Jones plays a receiver who has a day job at a grocery store. The kicker (Rhys Ifan) is a Welsh soccer player. (Okay, a footballer, I don’t care, call it whatever you want.) Jon Favreau plays a berserk defender who is a member of the police force. Leading them on the field is Shane Falco (Keanu Reeves), a quarterback with a confidence problem. Cheering for them from the sidelines and falling in love with Shane is bar owner-turned-head-cheerleader Annabelle (Brooke Langton). Backing up Annabelle is a cheer squad made up of former strippers, the better to distract the other teams.

It’s not often you see a film where the heroes cross a picket line but that’s what happens with The Replacements. Then again, it’s not like the folks on strike are driving trucks or unloading freight for a living. They’re multi-millionaires who want even more money and don’t even care about whether the team wins or loses. When the replacement players actually start to win games and become beloved in the city, the striking players react by starting a bar brawl. In the end, striking quarterback Eddie Martell (Brett Cullen) doesn’t even stick with his principles. He crosses the picket line and creates a quarterback controversy, just in time for the last game of the season.

The Replacements is thoroughly predictable but also very likable. The cast gels nicely, with Hackman especially standing out as the gruff but caring coach. Keanu Reeves is not totally believable as a quarterback with a confidence problem. You take one look at Reeves and you don’t believe he’s had an insecure day in his life. But, as an actor, he’s so likable that it doesn’t matter. The same goes for the entire cast, whether they’re on the playing field or singing I Will Survive in jail. I don’t particularly care much about football but I did enjoy The Replacements.

Previous Guilty Pleasures

Catching Up With The Films of 2023: The Equalizer 3 (dir by Antoine Fuqua)

Posted on January 10, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Robert McCall (Denzel Washington), the Equalizer, is killing people again.

This time, he goes to Sicily, where he invades a local winery, kills all of the guards, and then shoots the winery’s owner in the ass while the already wounded man pathetically crawls away. Admittedly, everyone that McCall killed was bad and the winery owner would have killed McCall if things had worked differently but still, it’s an awful lot of death and violence just to retrieve some money that was stolen in a cyber-heist.

As McCall leaves the winery, he sees the owner’s young son and he declines to kill a child because, in the movies, adults only kill other adults. Otherwise, the viewer might lose sympathy for them. The kid, however, does not live under the rules of Hollywood so he grabs a shotgun from his father’s car and shoots McCall in the back. McCall falls to the ground and attempts to shoot himself in the head. However, his gun is out of bullets.

That’s right, our hero nearly shot himself in the head. If he had succeeded, the movie would have been much shorter. But since he wasted all of his bullets on the guards at the winery, McCall just passes out from the shock. Eventually, he is found and taken to a village doctor named Enzo (Remo Girone). Enzo removes the bullet. When McCall awakens, Enzo asks him if he’s a good man or a bad man. Enzo later says that McCall’s inability to answer was all the proof the he needed to know that McCall was a good a man.

McCall recuperates in the village and soon, he becomes an accepted member of the community. He starts to contemplate leaving behind his life of violence and, in a well-done sequence, is haunted by the memory of how many people he killed at the winery. But when the local Camorra starts to harass the villagers and threaten McCall’s new friends, it’s time for McCall to once again go to action.

If I sound a bit snarky, it’s because I’ve lost track of the number of films that I’ve seen about stoic former intelligence agents who kill a lot of people. The Equalizer 3 is actually a well-made film, one that makes good use of its star’s charisma and the beautiful Sicilian scenery. Denzel Washington isn’t getting any younger but he’s still believable as someone who could take down an army single-handedly and, even more importantly, he does a good job of portraying what a life of violence would do to a man’s soul. Appropriately enough given the Sicilian setting, the film is full of religious imagery and The Equalizer 3, at its best, becomes a story about a man searching for redemption and a higher calling.

That said, the film is entertaining and it holds your interest (and I’m thankful that this is one mainstream film that does not feature an excessive running time) but the plot is undeniably formulaic and the villains aren’t particularly interesting. There’s a subplot featuring Dakota Fanning as a young CIA agent that feels tacked on. On a personal note, I find myself growing weary of CGI violence and stories about one-man killing machines. (When I was younger, I could easily celebrate a hundred henchmen getting taken out by our hero. Now, I found myself saying, “He probably had a family.”) The film ends on a note of redemption for McCall and I hope he takes it for all it’s worth.

October True Crime: The Perfect Husband: The Laci Peterson Story (dir by Roger Young)

Posted on October 25, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In December of 2002, most likely on Christmas Eve, Laci Peterson was murdered in Modesto, California. At the time, she was eight months pregnant and, by all account, looking forward to the birth of her first child, Connor. Suspicion immediately fell on her husband Scott Peterson, who seemed reluctant to contact police when Laci first disappeared and who was later revealed to be cheating on his wife, both before and after his disappearance. Though Scott and Laci’s friends and family may have thought of Scott Peterson as being the perfect husband, the truth was far different.

After the bodies of both Laci and unborn Connor were discovered, Scott was arrested and charged with murder. Scott insisted that his wife had been kidnapped and murdered by a gang of meth-dealing Satanists. The jury disagreed and Scott was found guilty. Originally sentenced to death, Scott is now serving a life sentence.

The disappearance and subsequent murder of Laci Peterson was national news and Scott Peterson, with his cold demeanor and his history of infidelity, was a perfect villain. (The case would serve as one of the inspiration for the novel and film, Gone Girl.) Today, unfortunately, the case has received renewed attention due to a docuseries called The Murder of Laci Peterson. Though the documentary may have Laci’s name in the title, she’s treated largely as an afterthought. Instead, the documentary focuses on making excuses for all of Scott’s incriminating behavior and, in the final episode, it goes as far as to include cheesy reenactments of Satanists stalking the streets of Modesto. This heavy-handed work of propaganda, which was produced by a friend of Scott Peterson’s family, can be found on Hulu and is regularly re-aired on stations like A&E. Whenever it airs, one can be sure that the dumbest people on twitter will start tweeting stuff like, “I lowkey think Scott Peterson might be innocent!” The documentary ends with Scott’s creepy sister-in-law delivering an unconvincing monologue about how she often goes to the beach where Laci was found and thinks about her and Connor. It’s one of the few times that anyone in the documentary mentions anything about Laci.

The 2004 made-for-TV movie, The Perfect Husband: The Laci Peterson Story, also keeps Laci off-screen but it still feels like a more honest look at the Peterson case than the documentary. Because the movie was put into production before Scott’s trial had actually begun, the film does maintain a sense of ambiguity as to whether or not Scott is actually guilty but, unlike the docuseries, it also doesn’t deny just how suspicious Scott’s behavior was in the days following Laci’s disappearance. While his friends and his family frantically look for Laci, Scott calls his mistress and flirts over the phone. (As shown in the film, Scott’s girlfriend did not know that Scott was married and was shocked to see Scott on television, talking about his missing wife.) When his friends and family beg Scott to help get the word out about his missing wife, Scott retreats into his own shell. And when Laci’s body is discovered, Scott puts on a fake beard, dyes his hair, and heads to San Diego with a bag full of money. In the docuseries, Scott’s condescending father claimed that Scott was just trying to get away from the media. The film leaves little doubt that he was trying to get away from his crimes.

Dean Cain does a good job in the role of Scott Peterson. Because Scott’s trial had yet to begin, Cain couldn’t play him as being an outright murderer so, instead, he focused on playing Scott as being petulant, insecure, and self-centered, the type of guy who seems to be annoyed that Laci’s disappearance is inconveniencing him. Dee Wallace and G.W. Bailey have a few good scenes as, respectively, Laci’s mother and the detective investigating the case. David Denman (who is probably best-known for playing Roy, Pam’s lunkhead fiancé on The Office) gives the film’s strongest performance as a friend of Scott’s who desperately wants to believe that he’s innocent even though the evidence keeps piling up against him.

The Perfect Husband probably gets closer to the truth of the case than any of the documentaries that have followed. Scott’s a killer. RIP, Laci and Connor.

Playing Catch-Up With The Films of 2017: Power Rangers (dir by Dean Israelite)

Posted on December 25, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

So far, on this Christmas Day, I have posted three reviews for films that featured plots that made little to no sense to me. Well, here’s a fourth one.

Power Rangers is a cinematic reboot of the old Mighty Morphin Power Rangers television show from the 90s. It deals with five teenagers who meet in detention and, though a series of events that I really don’t feel like wasting my time recounting, end up in an old gold mine where they find five coins, which allow them to turn into … well, I guess they’re Power Rangers.

There’s Jason (Dacre Montgomery), who was a star football player until he stole a car as part of a prank and ended up crashing it. (The initial car crash is entirely filmed inside the automobile, which adds some deceptive excitement to the film.) And then there’s Kimberly (Naomi Scott), who is the mean girl who actually has a good heart. She’s in detention because she’s a cyber bully. Billy (RJ Cyler) is the genius, which means that he’s the type of socially awkward student who accidentally blows up his locker. And then there’s Trini (Becky G) and Zack (Ludi Lin), who are both just kind of there. Every good group of three has to have two extra people to get in the way and that’s pretty much the function of Trini and Zack.

Anyway, after they discover the Power Coins and share a few moments that feel as if they were lifted from Chronicle, the new Power Rangers are trained by a robot named Alpha 5 (Bill Hader) and a former Power Ranger named Zordon (Bryan Cranston) who died at around the same time as the dinosaurs. Apparently, finding the power coins has allowed the ancient evil of Rita Repulsa (Elizabeth Banks) to be reborn and now she’s threatening to destroy either Earth or the universe. Actually, I was never quite sure what Rita was trying to do. But the Power Rangers have to set aside their differences, learn to work as a team, and come together to defeat her.

Or something like that. Honestly, this film featured a lot of exposition about people with names like Zordon and Rita Repulsa and Goldar and my eyes pretty much glazed over while I was trying to listen to it all. Listen, I am a fidget spinner-carrying member of the Severe ADHD Club. The minute they started explaining the lengthy history of the Power Rangers, my mind pretty much started looking for anything else to focus on. It would have been different if the film has some sort of epic scope or if it made it look like it would actually be fun to be a Power Ranger. Instead, it just turned into another franchise-opening action film. Basically, it felt like The Fantastic Four movie, with one extra member of the team.

I should admit that I’ve never seen an episode of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Perhaps if I had, I would have gotten more out of this movie. The five actors playing the Power Rangers are all talented and charismatic and I look forward to seeing what they do in the future. But this confusing mess of a movie just left me with a headache.

Cleaning Out The DVR Yet Again #17: 13 Hours (dir by Michael Bay)

Posted on November 29, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Lisa recently discovered that she only has about 8 hours of space left on her DVR! It turns out that she’s been recording movies from July and she just hasn’t gotten around to watching and reviewing them yet. So, once again, Lisa is cleaning out her DVR! She is going to try to watch and review 52 movies by Wednesday, November 30th! Will she make it? Keep checking the site to find out!)

I recorded 13 Hours off of Epix on October 14th.

Before I say anything else about 13 Hours, I would like to be point out something that I haven’t seen mentioned in any of the other reviews of this film. 13 Hours is not just a recreation of the September 11th, 2012 attack on the American diplomatic compound in Benghazi, Libya. (This attack led to death of Ambassador Chris Stevens, Tyone Woods, Sean Smith, and Glenn Doherty, all of whom are portrayed in the film.) 13 Hours is also a very unexpected The Office reunion. On The Office, John Krasinski played Jim Halpert while David Denman played Roy Anderson, the ex-fiance of Jim’s wife, Pam. In 13 Hours, they both play members of the American security detail who spend 13 terrifying hours trying to protect the compound from a violent and heavily armed mob.

They’re both surprisingly well-cast. As someone who absolutely loved The Office, I had my doubts as to whether or not I’d be able to believe John Krasinski — he of the iconic smirk and the adorable eye roll — as a battle-hardened, former Navy SEAL. Jim Halpert with a gun!? I wondered. But Krasinski brings an unexpected gravity to his role, as does David Denman. For that matter, the entire cast — and this is truly an ensemble film, even if it is dominated by Krasinski and James Badge Dale (in the role of Tyrone Woods) — does surprisingly well. If I sound surprised, that’s because 13 Hours was directed by Michael Bay, a director who is not exactly known for his skill with actors.

It says something about how messed up 2016 has been that, for a few weeks in January, 13 Hours was the most controversial film in America. When the film was first released, many commentators and critics were convinced that it was all part of a grand conspiracy to keep Hillary Clinton from being elected President. Now, 11 months later, we can look back and — well, hmmm. Hillary Clinton wasn’t elected President but that probably has nothing to do with 13 Hours. If I remember correctly, 13 Hours didn’t exactly set the box office on fire. It was pretty much forgotten by February. Unless 13 Hours somehow convinced Hillary Clinton to not campaign in Wisconsin or Michigan, I imagine that it had little influence on the actual election.

Neither Hillary Clinton nor, for that matter, Barack Obama are ever mentioned in 13 Hours. (Then again, the film also never tries to convince us that the attack was solely the result of a YouTube video, either.) That’s not to say that there isn’t a political subtext to 13 Hours. (It’s impossible to make a movie about Americans with guns in the Middle East without there being some sort of political subtext.) However, that subtext has less to do with what happened during the attack and more about whether or not the U.S. should have even gotten involved in the Libyan Civil War in the first place. If anything, 13 Hours seems to be suggesting that any sort of American military intervention in the Middle East is doomed to failure.

Make no mistake about it. Thematically, 13 Hours is Michael Bay’s darkest film. It starts with disturbing footage of the Libyan revolution and it ends with shots that linger over the ruins of the compound that several men were either killed or wounded attempting to defend. Even those who manage to survive the 13-hour battle are left scarred, both physically and emotionally. For perhaps the first time in a Bay film, no attempt is made to make war look heroic or inviting. There’s none of the over the top sentimentality that typifies so many of Bay’s other films. Instead, there’s just John Krasinski sobbing as he realizes that his friends are dead.

That said, Bay has to be Bay. In some ways, 13 Hours is his most mature film to date but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t showcase a lot of Bay’s flaws as a filmmaker. At 2 and a half hours, the film is at least 50 minutes too long and the scenes of Krasinski talking to his pregnant wife feel like they were lifted from an unpolished second draft of American Sniper and, as a result, they’re never as powerful as they were obviously meant to be. As usual, Bay does better with the action sequences than with the human element.

In the end, 13 Hours is a frequently harrowing, if rather uneven, film. If nothing else, it may be remembered for heralding the unlikely emergence of John Krasinski, action star.

Film Review: The Gift (dir by Joel Edgerton)

Posted on August 12, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Because of the nature of The Gift, this post is going to contain minor spoilers. There’s no way to talk about what makes the film work so brilliantly without giving away a few plot points. Such is the nature of the beast and all that. So, if you don’t want to deal with spoilers, allow me just to say this: Go see The Gift. See it tonight. See it tomorrow. See it this weekend. But, definitely — go see it!

(And if anyone tells you that The Gift is not worth seeing than that person is not really your friend and you need to start hanging out with a better class of people.)

Ryan has already reviewed The Gift and, having watched the film earlier today, I agree with everything that he had to say. That’s why I am happy to add my voice to his and encourage you to see The Gift. With this week pretty much dominated by ruminations on the colossal failure of The Fantastic Four and the upcoming weekend guaranteed to be dominated by the release of both Straight Outta Compton and The Man From UNCLE, there’s a definite risk that The Gift is going to get lost in the shuffle.

And that’s unfortunate. Much like the thematically similar Unfriended, The Gift comes disguised as a conventional thriller but, once you start to unwrap it, you discover that there are layers and layers of subtext and The Gift is actually one of the best and most thought-provoking films of the year.

Like many great Lifetime films, The Gift opens with a married couple living a deceptively wonderful life. Simon (Jason Bateman) is friendly and charming and appears to be on the verge of getting a big promotion at work. He and his wife, Robyn (Rebecca Hall), appears to be happy and in love. They have also got a friendly dog named Mr. Bojangles and they’ve just moved into a beautiful new house. After spending the last few years in Chicago, they’ve relocated to Simon’s home state of California. They’re looking forward to starting a family. Everything’s perfect.

And then, while out shopping for furniture, they run into Gordo (Joel Edgerton). Gordo explains that he went to high school with Simon. (At first, Simon swears to his wife that he doesn’t even remember Gordo but that soon proves to be false.) The socially awkward Gordo starts to send Simon and Robyn progressively more and more extravagant gifts. After Simon tells Robyn that Gordon was known as Weirdo in high school, Robyn starts to feel sorry for Gordo and insists that Simon try to be friendly towards him. Simon, however, remains weary of Gordo and his intentions. At first, it seems like Simon is just being cautious but, as the film unfolds, we discover that Simon has his own reasons for wanting to avoid his old classmate.

The more Gordo tries to insert himself into Simon and Robyn’s life, the more we start to see the cracks behind their “perfect” marriage. Robyn, it turns out, had previously suffered a miscarriage and has a history of abusing prescription medicine. Meanwhile, it’s revealed that, behind Simon’s fast smile, there lies a condescending control freak. (Gordo mentions that Simon ran for senior class president on a “Simon says” platform.)

There’s more to Simon and Gordo’s relationship than either one of them is initially willing to admit. In high school, Simon was a bully and Gordo was his number one victim. That Gordo wants revenge on Simon should not be surprising. That’s obvious from the trailer. No, the genius of the film is to be found in the way that it subtly reveals that, as an adult, Simon is still as much of a jerk and a bully as he was in high school. He’s just gotten a lot better at hiding it. The same traits that made Simon a bully in high school have helped him to find material success in the real world. When Gordo reeneters his life, Simon can no longer hide who he really is. Gordo is not just his former victim. Gordo is proof of what lies underneath Simon’s perfect facade. When Robyn finally convinces Simon to apologize to Gordo, Simon cannot do so convincingly because he’s not so much sorry as he’s just inconvenienced. When Gordo refuses to accept the apology, Simon’s mask falls away and he reveals his true nature, setting up the film’s devastating conclusion.

(I’m not going to spoil how the film ends but I will tell you that it left me breathless and stunned. It’s not a happy ending but it is absolutely the right ending for the story that’s being told. As both the film’s director and writer, Joel Edgerton deserves a lot of credit for staying true to the movie’s theme.)

Rebecca Hall is well-cast as Robyn but, ultimately, the film is dominated by the performances of Jason Bateman and Joel Edgerton. (Interestingly enough, both Bateman and Edgerton are made up so that they superficially resemble each other, allowing Gordo to literally become the personification of Simon’s ugly side.) Edgerton transforms Gordo into a character who is both scary and pathetic at the same time. Meanwhile, Jason Bateman — oh, where to begin? For the longest time, it’s been impossible for me to look at Bateman without flashing back to that scene in Juno where he hit on Ellen Page. Now, however, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at Jason Bateman without hearing him yell, “Accept my apology!” Jason Bateman has played a lot of less-than-sympathetic characters but Simon … well, Simon may be the worst. As an actor, Jason Bateman deserves a lot of credit for not shying away from revealing the truth about Simon. It takes courage to play such an unlikable character and talent to make that character compelling even when the viewer can’t stand him.

The Gift is an excellent and thought-provoking thriller, the type of film that will both make you jump with fright (I screamed during a certain shower scene and that’s all I’ll say about that) and leave you with much to think about after the end credits roll.

It’s a film that you need to see now.