Trailer Round-Up: Fifty Shades Darker, Miss Sloane, Nocturnal Animals, Annabelle 2, Christine, The Bye Bye Man, Smurfs: The Lost Village, The Eyes of My Mother, Allied, and Passengers


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Here’s some of the trailers that have come out over the past two weeks!  Sadly, none of those trailers involve kitties!  Meh!

Fifty Shades Darker

They’re back!  And this time, Ana’s in charge.

Miss Sloane

The good news is that a flame-haired one, Jessica Chastain, is in this film.  The bad new is that the script for this film was on last year’s Black List.  The Black List is supposed to be a list of the best unmade scripts in Hollywood so why do Black List films almost always end up sucking?

Nocturnal Animals

I thought this movie had to be about kitties but instead, it’s about Jake Gyllenhall and Amy Adams!  But the trailer still looks really good and supposedly this movie is going to win all sorts of Oscars!

Annabelle 2

The scary doll is back!

Christine

This looks like a great role for Rebecca Hall but will probably be too depressing for humans!  Meh!

The Bye Bye Man

This could be scary but it’s coming out in January and nothing good comes out in January.

Smurfs: The Lost Village

I ate a smurf once.  Meh!

The Eyes of My Mother

This looks scary!

Allied

Some people are saying this movie led to the upcoming divorce of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie!  The flame-haired one says she’s Team Jolie all the way.  Meh!

Passengers

Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence in the same movie!?  And it’s from the director of The Imitation Game.  Some people say that this is going to be a big Oscar contender!  I think it needs more kitties.

 

 

A Cat’s Perspective On The Fifty Shades Darker Teaser


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Meh!  Humans are weird!  Not only do they have trailers for movies but they also have teasers for trailers!  They need to be more like me — sleep, eat, and learn to love the ennui!

Humans are also weird because they read books like The Fifty Shades trilogy and spend all their time talking about how bad they are.  The flame-haired one even threw her copy of Fifty Shades of Grey across the living room once and totally woke me up!  (Don’t worry, I was able to get back to sleep … eventually.)  But then after hating the book, they get all excited about the movie and then they get all upset when the movie turns out to suck too!  I ate a spider once and it tasted terrible so you know what?  I stopped eating spiders.  If I was a human, I guess I would think, “Spiders are yucky!  Let’s go eat a few while watching a movie about them!”  Meh!

There’s a new Fifty Shades movie coming out and it’s called Fifty Shades Darker! It’s based on another book that the flame-haired one threw across the living room but she’s still planning on seeing it!  It’s such a big deal that instead of just releasing a trailer, the humans are releasing a teaser and then a trailer!  If they make another Fifty Shades movie, maybe they can release a teaser for the teaser of the trailer!

Someday, maybe they’ll stop making movies all together and they’ll just make teasers for trailers of pretend movies.  People will watch the teaser and say, “This is going to be a great trailer!”  I hope that happens because if there’s no more movies that means even less to distract from feeding the kitty!

Here’s the teaser for Fifty Shades Darker!  The trailer’s coming out tomorrow and the flame-haired one will probably share it because the kitty is planning on sleeping through Wednesday.  Meh!

Here’s the Teaser For Fifty Shades Darker


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Why is there already a teaser for a film that’s not even supposed to come out until February of 2017?  I have no clue.  Judging from how little is actually in this teaser, I’m assuming that this little scene was filmed during the shooting of 50 Shades of Grey, just in case there was demand for a sequel.

Personally, I think they should call this movie Fifty Shades Darker: Return To The Puckered Love Cave but that might just be me.

(By the way, I’d be remiss if I didn’t quote director/writer Alan Ormsby’s response when he saw the above quote on my Facebook page: “PUCKERED LOVE CAVE! Hey, I have a title for my next horror film!”)

Anyway, here’s the teaser for 50 Shades Darker: