As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on Twitter and Mastodon. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We tweet our way through it.
Tonight, at 10 pm et, we’ve got 1994’s Trancers 5!
If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 10 pm et, and use the #FridayNightFlix hashtag! It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.
I don’t know who designed the poster for Bachelor Party. That name has been lost to history. And it’s not even that good of a movie, though it’s easy to understand why Tom Hanks would give up every other woman on Earth for the chance to marry Tawny Kitaen. But this poster has done more to establish my opinion of the ideal bachelor party than any of the real bachelor parties that I’ve ever attended. Bravo, unknown artist.
Slow an’ Easy was Whitesnake’s first big hit in the United States and the video, which featured the band, a car crash, and an act of strangulation, was Whitensake’s first big video on MTV. It’s certainly much darker than the video for Here I Go Again.
Slow an’ Easy, by the way, appeared on an album called Slide It In. Whitesnake was never particularly subtle but they still rocked.
Hello Beautiful and Intelligent readers, how do I know you’re so smart and beautiful? You’re reading my stuff!!! You know what’s not good- This short film. Like chlamydia at a Senor Frogs in Cancun, this short will stick with you in the worst way! He writes in his bio that he’s an “award-winning independent filmmaker”, but who is in charge of these awards?! Is it like a certificate of participation? Did they owe Faisal Hashmi money? Did Faisal Hashmi see them commit a brutal crime? Sadly, he kept making “films” after this waste of his iPhone memory, on the bright side, his career didn’t take off because- ya know, he sucks at this!
There are a many ways that this short doesn’t even deserve to be used to clean the bathroom floor at Port Authority on a Friday night, but the two that stick out the most to me are that –
The film makes no sense.
It’s boring!
But Case come on, you always say these sci-fi things don’t make sense, well most of the time I’m right! However, to really pull this piece of trash apart like it deserves, I have to go over the terrible story! It’s like Faisal Hashmi is out to hurt me in every way! Did he give me COVID? Where were you Faisal, December 2020??
The story- an office worker has a boring job, but every time he sneezes he blacks out and all of his work is done; purportedly, he travels in time like my Aunt does after Natural Light and Ambien. This is where the story doesn’t make sense. He doesn’t remember the time he lost. He just moves forward. Let’s just skip over the fact that this sort of time travel is impossible without Ambien. Of course, he abuses this “gift” and eventually becomes old. This is not how special relativity works, but I guess looking things up on Wikipedia is TOO MUNDANE for Faisal!
This brings me to my second issue with this film: it’s boring. I understand that being good at anything is hard, right Faisal? Faisal Hashmi, you’re probably terrible at a lot of things- Film is really just the only one we have a digital record of to prove it. Maybe you also suck at volleyball, buying groceries, or tying your shoes? I can’t speak for those other things, but you’re rebuttably presumed to be awful at those things too, but I’ll just stick to this 4 minute and 26 second slice of hell!
Every plot point was so predictable and obvious, it felt as if a short film became a flip book crap version of “Goodnight, Moon”. I hate you Faisal! You, Marcin Dubinek, and Alex Magana are a cabal of terrible art! You create the unholy trinity of film. I even tagged the horror box for this post because that’s what your film is, but not intentionally! Faisal, stop what you’re doing! Try real estate or work for Ticketmaster!
I did provide a link to this unholy thing, if you feel like slowing your life down and embracing death’s touch.
Something Boring This Way Comes!!!!
You should check out my twitter “x” for my other tweets and work (@casewrites).
For my money, he was the funniest man to ever tell a joke. People who worked with him said he was one of the nicest and most downright decent people they ever met.
And again, he was the funniest man who ever lived.
My favorite Bob Newhart joke was one he told on himself. After saying that he had starred in sitcoms entitled “The Bob Newhart Show,” “Bob Newhart Show,” “Newhart,” and “Bob,” Newhart said that his next show would simply be called “The.”
As I’ve mentioned here before, my Dad has been very ill over the last month and a half. Today, I learned that he will be going into hospice care. Needless to say, both myself and my sister Erin are coming to terms with this news and everything that it potentially represents. As a result, there may be days when it’s a bit quiet around here on the Shattered Lens. There may be some days when the site will not feature a new music video or a new pulp cover or a Retro Television review or a film review.
That does not mean the site is going away though. It just means that, whereas we previously updated on a daily basis, we may have to go for an every other day basis for a few weeks, at least until things get worked out around here. This has been a difficult year but I love this site more than ever. Family is always going to come first but I am in no way abandoning my love of writing about pop culture.
Thank you to all of our subscribers, readers, and commenters. The Shattered Lens, and all of its writers, will still be here even if some of us do occasionally have to take a personal day!
It’s been a rough week. My Dad, who had been in a physical rehab center since the end of May, was finally kicked out by his insurance company. (I appealed the decision, to no avail.) He’s not doing well. On both Friday and Saturday, he fell and had to be taken to the hospital.
As a result, I am exhausted so I’m going to ask your indulgence as I tell you what movies I watched this week and then call it a post. This week, I watched:
Through the Shattered Lens 