Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 5.6 “The Source”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, Jonathan and Mark are once again teaching high school.

Episode 5.6 “The Source”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on June 9th, 1989)

This week, Jonathan and Mark are back in high school …. again!

This time, Mark is teaching sex ed.  (Ha ha, the Boss sure does love embarrassing Mark!)  Meanwhile, Jonathan is the faculty advisor to the school newspaper.  When a school bus crashes, two enterprising student journalists — Doug (Scott Fults) and Colin (Andy Lauer) — decide that they’re going to get to the bottom of what happened.  All the evidence shows that it was just a freak accident and that bus driver Larry Nichols (Dack Rambo) is not to blame.  However, a student on the bus named Ellen (Kim Walker) tells Doug and Colin that, before the crash, Larry was flirting with her and not watching the road.  After Doug and Colin agree to protect Ellen’s identity, they write a story about Larry, the adult bus driver who was too busy flirting with an underage girl to take that curve.

Doug and Colin think that they’re going to win a Pulitzer but Jonathan says, “Hold on, we can’t publish this!”  However, the school’s principal (Alan Fudge) disagrees because Colin just happens to be his son.  The story is published and Larry loses his job.  Doug and Colin are feeling pretty proud of themselves but then they just happen to come across Ellen’s notebook in the school’s copy room.  (Jonathan, using “the Stuff,” switched out his notebook for Ellen’s.)  Doug and Colin read the notebook and discover that Ellen has a crush on Larry and that Ellen lied about him flirting with her.

Doug and Colin retract the story and learn a lesson about journalistic responsibility.  Ellen, even though Colin and Doug continue to protect her identity, leaves with Jonathan so that she can apologize to Larry face-to-face.  (We don’t actually see the apology.  I have a feeling that it probably didn’t go well.)  As the episode ends, two women look at the newspaper and agree that, retraction or no retraction, Larry was definitely guilty.  We then hear Jonathan’s voice telling us that the first amendment is too important to be abused.

That’s an important message and a timely one.  Watching this episode, it was hard not to consider that, for the past few weeks, people in this country have been arguing about whether or not the first amendment applies more to a self-employed YouTuber who stormed a church service or the people in the church who were worshipping at the time.  There’s a lot of earnest sincerity to be found in this episode of Highway to Heaven but, that said, the execution is pretty heavy-handed.  Even by the standards of this show, there’s not much subtlety to be found here.

An even bigger problem is that this episode can’t seem to decide whether Ellen is meant to be a shy teenager who made a mistake or a full-blown sociopath.  I think this episode would have worked better if Colin and Doug heard rumors that they reported as fact as opposed to Ellen just flat-out lying to them.  Once Ellen lies, it’s hard not to feel that the focus should be less on Colin and Doug learning a lesson and more on Ellen getting some sort of psychiatric help.

This episode was typical of season 5.  It was sincere but just a bit too on-the-nose.

Retro Television Review: Decoy 1.19 “The Challenger”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Decoy, which aired in Syndication in 1957 and 1958.  The show can be viewed on Tubi!

This week, Casey gets involved in dark and dirty world of professional boxing!

Episode 1.19 “The Challenger”

(Dir by Stuart Rosenberg, originally aired on February 17th, 1958)

Up-and-c0ming boxer Lenny Capper (Bob Carraway) has a chance to become the middle weight champion of the world but a local mobster known as The Bull (Vincent Gardenia) wants Lenny to throw the fight.  First, the Bull has his goons beat up Lenny’s manager, Hecky (Frank Sutton).  Then the Bull attempts to spike Lenny’s orange juice.  Luckily, Casey is there to switch out the spiked orange juice with a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice.  With the power of citrus goodness backing him up, Lenny is able to win the fight and the Bull and his goons are arrested.

This episode was kind of boring.  Until it was time for her to switch out the orange juice, Casey spent most of this episode as an observer.  The majority of the episode was taken up with scenes of Carraway, Sutton, and Gardenia playing out the very familiar story of the honest lunk-headed boxer with a streetwise manager and a gangster demanding that he throw the big fight.  The only thing that was messing was someone to say, “I coulda been somebody, Charlie!  I coulda been a contender!”

Casey didn’t even really get to go undercover in this episode.  She attended a boxing match and then she just kind of hung around in the locker room.  If I was working a case that involved the world of boxing, I would at least want to get dressed up for one of the matches.  I would demand to wear the dress that Amy Adams wore whenever she went to Mark Wahlberg’s fights in The Fighter.  I would also insist that How You Like Me Now be played while The Bull and his men were being marched out to the paddy wagon.

In the end, the main problem with this episode is that it wasn’t really a Casey Jones story.  Instead, it was just a standard boxing tale with Casey rather awkwardly inserted into the action.  That said, as the episode ends, Casey looks at the camera and tells us that it takes a lot of work to be the middleweight champion of the world.  And then she smokes a cigarette because, even in an episode like this one, Casey was the coolest person in New York.

 

Late Night Retro Television Review: 1st & 10 3.2 “A Second Chance Once Removed”)


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing 1st and Ten, which aired in syndication from 1984 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on Tubi.

This week, OJ Simpson makes things awkward.

Episode 3.2 “A Second Chance Once Removed”

(Dir by Stan Lathan, originally aired on August 12th, 1987)

With Coach Denardo no longer around, Diana has kept her promise and promoted Fred Grier to head coach.  However, Diana’s boyfriend and the new co-owner of the Bulls, Teddy, wants to hire T.D.’s old college coach, Red Macklin (John Robinson).  Though T.D. isn’t comfortable with the idea of betraying Fred or doing anything behind Diana’s back, he does agree that Macklin would be a better coach.  After an argument with his wife, T.D. flies out to his old college.

T.D. doesn’t do a very good job of selling the team to Macklin.  Macklin finally says, “You don’t want to be the head coach of the Bulls, do you?”  T.D. says that he does but the position has already been given to Fred and T.D. doesn’t believe in doing things without being upfront with everyone because …. well, I’ll let T.D. explain it….

This episode is a good example of what happens when one of a show’s main characters is played by someone who is now best-known for somehow getting acquitted of stabbing his ex-wife and a waiter to death.  Even the most innocuous of lines seem to take on an entirely different meaning.  I have to admit that I cringed every time T.D.’s wife called and said that he was working too hard and spending too much time with the team.  No, I wanted to yell, don’t make him mad….

As for the rest of the episode, it largely dealt with training camp.  Veteran defensive player John Manzak (John Matuszak) fears that he won’t make the team.  There’s a young rookie who seems to have more energy and strength than him.  However, Manzak has a secret weapon …. steroids!  I cannot imagine that this is going to end well.

Meanwhile, the government wants to deport the Bulgarian kicker, Zagreb (John Kassir).  Zagreb applies for political asylum but it turns out that his father is some sort of official in the Bulgarian government and, as such, Zagreb would not be in any danger if he was sent back home.  (I don’t really follow that logic, to be honest.  Communist dictators, like Zagreb’s father, are notoriously unsentimental when it comes to their children.  Fidel Castro had children all over the world and he didn’t leave Cuba to a single one of them.  Instead, Justin had to settle for Canada.)  Diana has a solution, though.  They have to find Zagreb a wife.  Again, I cannot imagine that this is going to end well.

Meanwhile, Yinessa is still holding out for money, Bubba is still arguing with his wife, and I’m still not sure what Jethro does on the team.

This episode of 1st & Ten …. actually, it wasn’t that bad.  I could actually follow the story for once and it didn’t feel like it had been cut to ribbons for syndication.  John Matuszak actually gave a very touching performance as a player who might be past his prime.  Hopefully, things will work out for him.  We’ll find out next week!

Review: Fallout (Season 2, Episode 8 “The Strip”)


“Well…Welcome to the Wasteland.” — Maximus

Diving headfirst into the season 2 finale of Fallout, episode 8 slammed into me like a radstorm tearing through the garish neon fog of New Vegas—a whirlwind of high-octane mayhem that cranks the overarching tension to eleven while scattering a bunch of tantalizing loose ends across the irradiated sands. Christened “The Strip,” this powerhouse installment rolled out in Prime Video’s carefully recalibrated evening premiere window, the sort of strategic time shift they pulled to maximize viewer frenzy and keep everyone glued from the opening credits. What starts as a scrappy tale of individual survival in the prior episodes morphs here into a sprawling canvas of factional blood feuds, deftly interweaving those delicious Easter eggs from the beloved games with audacious original flourishes that pay homage to the source material’s spirit without ever feeling shackled by it. For the uninitiated casual viewer dipping their toes into the post-apocalyptic pool, there’s just enough emotional resolution on the core trio’s personal odysseys to leave you with a satisfied glow, yet the longtime wasteland wanderers—those of us who’ve logged countless hours in the Mojave—can practically hear the massive plot engines revving up for an explosive season 3 detonation.

From the jump, the episode plunges us into the seedy shadows of Freeside, where Aaron Moten’s Maximus finds himself locked in a ferocious tussle with a rampaging pack of Deathclaws that have breached the barriers, mutating the opulent Strip into a primal pit of razor-sharp talons, spurting blood, and raw survival instinct. Walton Goggins absolutely commandeers the screen as the Ghoul in these sequences, his haunting pre-war flashbacks delivering visceral emotional haymakers as he finally corners Robert House, reimagined here as a razor-tongued artificial intelligence overlord yanked straight from the New Vegas playbook, complete with that signature blend of megalomania and dry wit. Goggins’ Ghoul doesn’t mince words or pull punches, grilling House relentlessly for intel on his vanished family, only for the AI to unload a cascade of devastating revelations: Cooper Howard, in a moment of misguided patriotism, unwittingly funneled critical cold fusion technology right into the Enclave’s greedy claws, igniting the chain reaction that birthed the Great War—turns out the President himself was neck-deep in their shadowy cabal. This bombshell doesn’t just land; it excavates and reframes every lingering enigma from season 1, transforming Coop’s well-meaning actions into the tragic catalyst that obliterated civilization, all underscored by a chilling flashback to his arrest at the hands of a HUAC-inspired congressional witch hunt that systematically dismantles his glittering Hollywood existence, blacklisting him into oblivion.

Shifting gears underground, Ella Purnell’s riveting portrayal in the vault sequences forms the pulsating emotional heartbeat of the entire hour, thrusting Lucy into a harrowing confrontation with her father Hank—now a zombified shell of his former self—trapped within one of House’s ingeniously rigged management vaults that double as psychological torture chambers. Kyle MacLachlan devours the role with gleeful malevolence, laying bare Hank’s insidious brain-chip initiative, where he’s hijacking Congresswoman Welch’s saccharine “gold standard” personality template to overwrite minds, churning out armies of compliant drones stripped of free will. The mercy killing of Welch’s grotesque severed head with a hefty crowbar stands out as a gruesomely poetic flourish, mirroring House’s own hard-knocked tales of endurance in the wastes, but the true masterstroke comes when Lucy seizes control, reversing the procedure to implant the chip into Hank himself—a merciless, ice-cold denouement to their shattered father-daughter dynamic that had been simmering all season. Emerging from the depths, she collapses into a profoundly earned, battle-scarred embrace with Maximus, who moments earlier had improvised a roulette-wheel fragment into a desperate shield during an unarmored casino melee against the Deathclaw horde, only for a thundering cavalry charge from the NCR to barrel in, smashing together divergent game endings in a symphony of chaotic convergence.

The Ghoul’s storyline weaves in its own brand of understated heartbreak, steering clear of mawkish sentimentality; the discovery of empty cryopods meant for his wife Barb and daughter Janey hits like a sledgehammer to the irradiated chest, yet a cryptic postcard from the Colorado badlands injects a slender thread of optimism, slyly foreshadowing a seismic geographical pivot toward the Rockies in the seasons to come. Notably absent is any grand, weepy reunion or reconciliation with Lucy—sure, the group hauls her out of the vault inferno, but they gloss over any substantive dialogue probing the Ghoul’s savage underbelly, marking a subtle but noticeable lapse in peeling back another layer of his evolving humanity. Across the factional divide, the Legion’s intrigue reaches a fevered crescendo as the cunning Legate anoints himself the new Caesar upon deciphering the ailing leader’s final missive—”it ends with me”—executing a textbook power consolidation by silencing potential rivals and forging the splintered hordes into a singular, unstoppable juggernaut aimed squarely at storming the Strip. Brotherhood of Steel devotees score a tantalizing post-credits morsel with blueprints for the colossal Liberty Prime, strongly implying that Michael Cristofer’s Elder Cleric Quintus is gearing up to deploy some serious mech-stomping firepower in future clashes.

Deeper in the vault network, Vault 32 erupts into pandemonium as Annabel O’Hagan’s Steph pries apart Betty’s fortified Enclave Pip-Boy cache, inadvertently triggering “Phase 2” with ominous undertones of Forced Evolutionary Virus (FEV) poised to warp the inhabitants into rampaging super mutants, a thread that masterfully callbacks to the season’s mid-point murmurs. Moisés Arias’ Norm threads the needle through a frenzied Radroach ambush that decimates Bud’s sycophantic crew, hauling Claudia to momentary safety, while Johnny Pemberton’s Thaddeus undergoes a nightmarish metamorphosis into a centaur-esque abomination—proliferating mouths, shedding limbs, and even picking off distant rescuers with opportunistic foot-triggered shots before his body fully succumbs to the mutation. Those fleeting super mutant sightings from episode 6 crystallize in a torrent of exposition, but for all its revelations, this segment mostly serves as intricate groundwork: cementing the Enclave as the puppet masters of apocalypse, with the scorched surface world reduced to their perpetual laboratory playground.

Where “The Strip” truly excels is in its pulse-pounding action choreography and the nuanced character evolution that anchors the spectacle. The Deathclaw showdown unfolds as a ballet of brutality—gory eviscerations and desperate dodges that highlight Moten’s Maximus shedding his power-armored persona for gritty, improvisational brawling prowess. The production design dazzles at every turn: heads bursting in crimson fountains, flesh shredded by incoming missiles, the Strip’s eternal neon splendor grinding mercilessly against the pervasive wasteland squalor for that quintessential Fallout aesthetic tension. Pacing remains a tightrope triumph, deftly juggling a constellation of interwoven plotlines without ever tipping into overload, while those interspersed flashbacks elegantly suture the halcyon pre-war era’s illusions of security to the grim post-apocalyptic reality. The soundscape elevates it further, layering ambient dread with precision—those eerie payphone rings slicing through the cacophony like personalized harbingers of doom.

That relentless propulsion toward future conflicts, however, exacts a toll on immediate gratification. Vault 31 lingers as overt season 3 appetizers rather than a sealed chapter, and the simmering Brotherhood internal schisms peter out without the anticipated fireworks. Hank’s reduction to a mind-wiped vagrant unceremoniously exiled to the wastes provides a poignant, if understated, capstone to his arc, but it lacks the thunderous finality one might expect for a villain of his stature after seasons of buildup. Lingering voids—like a more introspective Ghoul-Lucy exchange or a meatier exploration of House’s centuries-spanning machinations with the Enclave—cry out for expanded breathing room between the explosive set pieces. Ultimately, the episode embraces its serialized “act two finale” DNA, lavishing attention on narrative springboards and cliffhanger bait over comprehensive bow-tying, which suits the binge-watching ecosystem to perfection but might leave traditionalists yearning for a more self-contained punch.

Thematically, “The Strip” captures Fallout‘s savage satirical soul with unerring precision: the pre-war megacorporations like Vault-Tec and the Enclave emerge not as mere enablers of nuclear Armageddon, but as its deliberate architects, with the bombs themselves relegated to collateral damage. Hank’s casual invocation of the surface as his “grand experiment” reverberates with chilling authenticity, evoking the darkest chapters of Cold War psy-ops, loyalty purges, and human experimentation on a societal scale. The major factions stand poised on a razor’s edge—NCR forces rallying for resurgence, a revitalized Caesar’s Legion under iron-fisted renewal, House’s immortal digital tyranny—all converging toward an explosive proxy war in the uncharted expanses of Colorado, terra incognita even for the most seasoned game explorers. The ensemble cast remains a towering strength across the board: Purnell masterfully alloys Lucy’s wide-eyed vault idealism with burgeoning wasteland ferocity, Moten infuses Maximus’ redemption arc with hard-won authenticity, and Goggins perpetually threads the Ghoul’s needle between irreverent monster and profoundly wounded everyman.

All told, “The Strip” forges a riveting, hook-saturated exclamation point that propels Fallout season 2 far beyond the claustrophobic vault escapades and shattered Los Angeles vistas of its debut year, ascending into intricate games of wasteland realpolitik while honoring its RPG lineage and boldly scripting its own legacy. Veterans of the franchise revel in the New Vegas allusions without a whiff of exclusionary gatekeeping, ensuring broad accessibility. As the end credits fade, the anticipation builds unbearably: the Ghoul’s high-stakes pursuit into the peaks, the ripple effects of rampant FEV outbreaks, and the brutal scramble over those reality-warping chips that could redefine power in the wastes. Prime Video has cemented its grip on a genuine phenomenon; those irradiated Rockies are calling, and the fallout promises to be cataclysmic.

Fallout Season 2 Episodes

  1. Episode 1: “The Innovator”
  2. Episode 2: “The Golden Rule”
  3. Episode 3: “The Profligate”
  4. Episode 4: “The Demon in the Snow”
  5. Episode 5: “The Wrangler”
  6. Episode 6: “The Other Player”
  7. Episode 7: “The Handoff”

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 7.6 “Friend of the Family/Affair on Demand/Just Another Pretty Face”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, the cruise is not especially pleasant.

Episode 7.6 “Friend of the Family/Affair on Demand/Just Another Pretty Face”

(Dir by Ted Lange, originally aired on October 29th, 1983)

This week, Herbert (Gordon Jump) and Anita (Florence Henderson) are setting sail.  Herbert and Anita have been married for 25 years and Herbert has never cheated on Anita.  However, as he tells his old friend Isaac, he’s decided that it’s finally time for him to have his first affair.  He’s even decided to trick Anita into giving her approval.  Herbert is an insurance agent and he shows Anita an article that suggests that men who don’t cheat are more likely to succumb to a heart attack.  Anita is so concerned that she not only gives Herbert permission to cheat but she decides that maybe she should have an affair as well….

Needless to say, Anita knows exactly what Herbert was trying to do with the article and, once she’s played her practical joke, she is surprisingly forgiving.  I probably would not have been.  Then again, Herbert does promise to buy her a sable coat to make up for attempting to cheat on her.

Meanwhile, Jack (Robert Reed) is dating Leslie (Deborah Shelton), the much younger daughter of his best friend, Bill (Clint Walker).  Bill is not happy when he learns about this and orders Jack to stay away from his daughter.  Fortunately, Bill’s wife (Cathryn Damon) is able to show Bill the error of his ways.  Leslie gets to fulfil everyone’s fantasy of dating a tall, thin, neat, single 60 year-old with a mustache.

(Yes, Robert Reed and Florence Henderson do both appear in this episode but they only share one scene.  While getting breakfast out by the pool, they see each other and give each other a questioning look before shaking their heads.  Personally, I think this episode would have been a classic if it had featured Robert Reed as the husband trying to trick Florence Henderson into giving him permission to cheat.)

Finally, Deanna (Kim Lankford), the spoiled niece of one of the cruise line’s executives, boarded the boat and immediately developed a crush on Gopher.  I don’t blame her.  Gopher can be adorable when he wants to be.  But, as with the other two storylines, something just felt off here.  Gopher being such a passive character didn’t quite feel right for who the character has become by season 7.  This felt like a season 1 Gopher plot.

This episode didn’t do much for me, which is a surprise considering that it was directed by the usually dependable Ted Lange.  It was hard to sympathize with any of the passengers and the crew just seemed to be going through the motions.  Usually, I love The Love Boat but this episode didn’t work for me.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 3.13 “Avenging Angel”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, two vigilantes disturb the peace, Cory meets a special guest star, and everyone continues to look stupid on their little bicycles.

Episode 3.13 “Avenging Angel”

(Dir by Terence H. Winkless, originally aired on December 14th, 1997)

This episode was dumb.

Cory is haunted by nightmares involving her mother, who died when Cory was 10.  In her latest nightmare, she runs into her mother at a crime scene and her mom shoots her!  Chris thinks that’s an odd dream and she’s right.  Cory explains that her mom is just trying to get her attention.  Cory believes that her mom is her guardian angel.  Chris doesn’t know how to react to this because Cory is expressing an emotion that doesn’t involve being snarky or self-righteous.

When Cory is injured while chasing two Korean brothers (we’ll get to them in a minute), she has to go to rehab.  Luckily, Olympic track medalist Florence Griffith Joyner is a patient at the same rehab clinic.  Joyner takes Cory under her wing and encourages her to work hard and get her knee back into shape.  When Cory says she’s thinking of leaving the force, Joyner tells her not to.  “Thanks, FloJo,” Cory replies.

(Yes, Florence Griffith Joyner played herself.  As an actress, she was a good athlete.)

As for the two Korean brothers, they are vigilantes who are beating up criminals on the boardwalk and becoming celebrities in their own right.  Palermo views them as being a threat to the peace and he’s determined to catch them.  Meanwhile, the Mob is determined to kill them and a very annoying talent agent is determined to sign them.

Ugh, what a stupid episode.  Usually, I’m a sucker for episodes that deal with people coming to terms with the death of a parent.  That’s something to which I can relate.  I have no doubt that my mom is also looking over me.  But, as much as I wanted to fully embrace Cory’s story, I couldn’t get past the fact that she went to rehab and just happened to meet an Olympic athlete.  Maybe if Joyner has been a better actress, this storyline would have worked but, as it was, it just felt forced.  There was really no reason why Joyner should have been so wrapped up in whether or not Cory decided to remain with the force.

As for the stuff with the brothers, the entire plotline felt like filler.  The brothers couldn’t act.  The actors playing the gangsters who wanted to kill the brothers couldn’t act.  The talent agents who kept popping up and talking about how much they wanted to sign the brother, they also couldn’t act.

This episode was just painful and all the rehab in the world isn’t going to change that.

Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 1.3 “A Kicking Weasel”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, Scott and Tommy D attempt to exploit Weasel’s happiness for their own monetary gain.  Ah, that’s classic Bayside!

Episode 1.3 “A Kicking Weasel”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on September 25th, 1993)

It’s been ten years since Bayside had a good football team!

That’s what Scott tell us at the start of this episode.  Scott explains that the Bayside student body has no enthusiasm for football.  No one cares because the team always loses and, as such, even Mr. Belding is more concerned with the school’s ping pong team.

To which I say, “What?”

Seriously, every Saved By The Bell fan knows that A.C. Slater led the Bayside Tigers to victory after victory.  With the help of Ox and all the other players, Slater made Bayside into a football powerhouse.

This can only mean one of two things.  Saved By The Bell: The New Class is either taking place ten years after Saved By The Bell (possible but I doubt it due to the fact that Screech is coming back next season) or that the writers just didn’t care about continuity.  I’ll go with the latter.

Things are looking up for the football team, though.  It turns out that Weasel can actually kick the ball!  He goes from being the waterboy to the cornerstone of the team’s offense.  But Weasel can only kick well when he’s angry.  When he’s not angry, he’s too mellow.  When he become a football star, he’s happy.  He mellows out.

That’s bad news for Scott and Tommy D, who are looking to make a fortune by selling Weasel t-shirts!  Tommy D agreed to embezzle the seed money from the print shop fund.  (Hey, that’s a crime!)  In return, Scott fixed the varsity cheerleader tryouts so that Lindsay beat out both Megan and Vicki.  When Linsday finds out that the tryouts were fixed, she refuses to cheer.  That makes Weasel mad and he ends up winning the game with 11 field goals.  Lindsay, meanwhile. gets her revenge by telling Belding that Scott and Tommy D will be donating all of the t-shirt profits to the ping pong team.

This episode …. actually, I’m going to surprise myself by saying that it wasn’t that bad.  Yes, the plot was way too busy for its own good and Scott’s constant scheming feels like what it was, a bad imitation of Zack Morris.  But, in the role of Weasel, Isaac Lidsky actually gave a pretty good sympathetic performance.  (Weasel was never as annoying as Screech, largely due to Lidsky.)  Jonathan Angel delivered his dialogue with the right amount of dumb earnestness and it was nice to see the Bayside nerds end up winning for once.  All in all, this one really wasn’t bad.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 5.7 “Bomb Run”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

Who will be Jon’s partner this week?  Read on to find out!

Episode 5.7 “Bomb Run”

(Dir by Phil Bondelli, originally aired on November 15th, 1981)

I was really hoping that this would be another episode with Caitlyn Jenner playing Steve but no, Ponch was back.  (Erik Estrada is the better actor of the two but Jenner’s performance is often so bizarre in its utter blandness that it becomes fascinating to watch.)  This episode opened with Baker observing as Ponch piloted a small airplane.  CHiPs was all about the California lifestyle and apparently, a big part of that lifestyle was being able to take off in a small private plane whenever you felt like it.  Ponch thinks that he’s ready for a solo flight but Baker tells him that he still needs to work on his landing skills.  Sorry, Ponch, you’re not a Kennedy.

The highway patrol is preparing for the big air show.  Officer Baricza (Brodie Greer) is surprised when he sees his ex-girlfriend, Terri (Kristin Griffith), hanging out around an airplane and preparing to take part in the show despite the fact that she has always been scared of flying.  What Baricza does not know is that Terri and her father (Ed King) have planned a big robbery to take place during the air show.  While Terri drops bombs from the airplane, the explosions will cover the sound of two safecrackers (played by Brion James and Taylor Lacher) blowing open a safe and stealing a bunch of bearer bonds.  However, things get complicated when the safecrackers illegally park their car (which leads to a helicopter towing it off, carrying it through the sky).  Things get even more complicated when Terri’s father has a heart attack when they’re in the air and Baker and Ponch have to perform a mid-air rescue.

So, how does Baricza react to his ex-girlfriend being a criminal?  We never find out.  Ponch roughly lands Terri’s plane and then show pretty much ends.  As a result, we don’t know what happens to Terri and her father.  We don’t know if the police succeeded in catching the safecrackers.  We don’t even know if Terri’s father merely passed out or if he actually died up there.  Instead, Getraer makes a joke about Ponch’s terrible landing skills and we get the familiar CHiPs freeze frame.

This episode featured a lot of airshow stock footage and it was pretty obvious that the plot was secondary to showing off all of the planes doing fancy maneuvers in the sky.  It felt a bit lazy on the part of the show’s producers but I also imagine that this episode was also fairly cheap to produce.  There’s more stock footage than plot.  As a result, the ending is a bit unsatisfying.  Is Baricza upset about Terri being a criminal?  Who knows?  He certainly does seem to be amused by Ponch’s landing though!

 

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 5.13 “The Cell Within”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Tubbs gets kidnapped and the entire episode is oddly dull.  Presumably because it’s the final season and no one was paying attention, the show took a risk and it did not pay off.

Episode 5.13 “The Cell Within”

(Dir by Michael B. Hoggan, originally aired on March 10th, 1989)

Former criminal Jake Manning (John P. Ryan) has apparently reformed himself.  As getting busted by Tubbs, Manning spent years in a tiny cell where he read Shakespeare and Dostoevsky.  Sponsored by renegade film director Robert Phelps (L.M. Kit Carson), Jake is now a free man and a published author.  Tubbs is convinced that Jake has changed his ways and when Jake invites him to a dinner party, Tubbs accepts.

(Crockett is on vacation, spending time with his son.  During his brief appearance on the episode, Crockett jokes about what a great book he and Tubbs could write if they were ever arrested.  Uhmm …. you were arrested, Crockett.  Remember when you were a drug lord?  The show appears to have forgotten but I haven’t.)

Anyway, it turns out that Jake has built a prison under his house where he keeps undesirables locked up and every few days, he electrocutes them.  He kidnaps Tubbs so that Tubbs can see and hear about Jake’s view of how justice should be meted out.  Jake likes to talk and talk and talk and talk.

Ugh, this episode.

I’m honestly surprised that I got through this episode because it was just so mind-numbingly dull.  The show attempted to do something different with its format and that’s fine.  But Jake was so long-winded and his cartoonish prisoners were such thinly drawn stereotypes that it didn’t take me long to lose interest.  I’ve never liked episodes of cop shows that center around hostage situations or kidnappings.  It’s hard to build much narrative momentum when no one can really move around.  It gets boring to watch and that was certainly the case here.  That John P. Ryan spent most of the episode wearing a flowing robe did not help matters.  It made him look like a Saruman cosplayer at a Lord of the Rings convention.  I probably would have laughed if it all hadn’t been so dull.

As always, it’s interesting to see Tubbs at the center of a story but even the normally smooth Philip Michael Thomas didn’t seem to know what to make of all these nonsense.  As I watched Tubbs rather easily fall victim to Jake’s trap, I wondered why Tubbs has suddenly become such a stupid character.  I mean, seriously, anyone should have been able to see through Manning’s invitation.  For Tubbs, this episode was the equivalent of that time Trudy got kidnapped by the alien who looked like James Brown.

All in all, this was not a good episode.  It’s the final season so it makes sense that you’re going to get a few clunkers.  Hopefully, next week will be better.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi: The Next Generation 2.4 “Karma Chameleon”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi: The Next Generation, which aired from 2001 to 2015!  The series can be streamed on YouTube and Tubi.

This week, several important characters make their first appearances!

Episode 2.4 “Karma Chameleon”

(Dir by Stefan Sciani, originally aired on October 21st, 2002)

This week, Ellie makes her first appearance!

Though she doesn’t do much in this episode, Ellie Nash (Stacey Farber) would go on to become one of the most important characters on Degrassi: The Next Generation.  (And Farber herself would go on to have one of the more-successful post-Degrassi careers of the show’s regulars.)  When I first watched Degrassi, I related to Ellie, largely because we both had red hair, we both tended to wear black, and we both had a weakness for Craig Manning.  (There was another reason why I related to Ellie but I won’t go into that until we reach season 3.)  Now that I’ve gotten older, I can see that, in high school, I actually had more in common with the overly dramatic Ashley Kerwin than I did with Ellie but still, Ellie is one of Degrassi’s best characters.

In her first appearance, Ellie refuses to move to another computer, despite Paige ordering her to so that Paige can sit next to Hazel.  Later, she provides some sarcastic comfort to Ashley after Ashley’s latest poorly conceived plan blows up in her face.  “That went well,” Ellie says and yes, it’s a little bit snarky but that’s what made Ellie so cool.  As I said, Ellie doesn’t do much in this episode.  (Stacey Farber wouldn’t become a regular until the third season.)  But she definitely makes an impression.

As for Ashley, she spends this episode trying to get back into everyone’s good graces.  Following Terri’s suggestion, Ashley swallows her pride and apologizes to Paige, Jimmy, and Sean.  Everyone seems to be willing to forgive Ashley, except for Paige.  Paige continually warns everyone that Ashley is just being manipulative.  Jimmy, however, wants to restart his romantic relationship with Ashley.  But when Sean calls Ashley and asks her on a date, Ashley happily accepts.  Terri says that Ashley is going to hurt Jimmy if she goes out with Sean because Jimmy thinks that he and Ashley are about to get back together.

Ashley rolls her eyes, explains that she’s single, and then tells Terri that “Ter, one day when a guy likes you, you’ll understand how this works.”

AGCK!

I mean, actually, Ashley’s right.  She didn’t tell Jimmy that she wanted to get back together again.  (She did say that she missed having Jimmy around and I would say that Ashley should have been able to guess how Jimmy would interpret that, given their past relationship.)  And there’s no reason why she shouldn’t date Sean Cameron if she wants to.  And, for that matter, no one likes Terri.

(At least not yet.  Eventually, Terri’s first boyfriend will end putting her in a coma and then shooting up the school but that’s a while off….)

But Ashley definitely could have put things a bit more diplomatically.  One reason why I cringe so much watching this is because I can remember saying similar stuff when I was a teenage and not understanding why people got offended until many years later.  Ellie never would have said something like that.

Meanwhile, Toby has a girlfriend!  Kendra Mason (Katie Lai) loves anime even more than Toby!  The only problem is that …. KENDRA IS SPINNER’S ADOPTED SISTER!  At first, Toby is terrified to talk to Kendra because of Spinner.  But Toby finally finds the courage to stand up to Spinner and tell him that he’s going to talk to Kendra whether Spinner likes it or not.  Spinner says that he will disembowel Toby is Toby hurts his sister.  Toby says he’s prepared for that.  (Toby, never prepare for something like that.)  It’s nice that Toby has a girlfriend and can presumably stop whining about Emma liking Seasn.  It’s just too bad that Kendra’s going to vanish after this season and never be mentioned again, not even by her protective older brother.

Also, all the boys in school are in love with the new science teacher, Ms. Hatzilakos (Melissa DiMarco).  This was Hatzilakos’s first appearance.  It’s only one scene of Spinner and Jimmy drooling at their desks.  Of course, Ms. Hatzilakos is destined to eventually become principal of Degrassi and her son Peter will eventually enroll as a student, break a lot of hearts and law, and write the deathless song House Arrest.

Anyway, Jimmy gets mad at Ashley.  Sean gets mad at Ashley and calls off their date.  Paige tells Terri that she has to make a choice between four years of being popular or four years of being an outcast and Terri decides to be popular.  Ashley breaks down crying as her school picture is taken.  So ends another happy episode of Degrassi!

Oh, this episode.  It’s actually pretty good for an Ashley episode.  And the freeze frame of Ashley getting her school picture taken as a tear sloppily rolls down her face?  That’s image pretty much sums up Degrassi perfectly.

Next week, Spinner is a part of a science experiment and …. well, this would never happen on American television.