Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 1.24 “La Strega”

Posted on March 20, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, the first season of Monsters come to an end.

Episode 1.24 “La Strega”

(Dir by Lizzie Borden, originally aired on May 27th, 1989)

Vito (a young Rob Morrow) enters a pawn shop shortly before closing. He tells the proprietor, Lia (Linda Blair), that he’s shopping for something for his girlfriend. But, as soon as Lia turns her back, Vito draws a knife and announces that he’s actually come to kill her. Lia, however, has a gun and without flinching, she shoots at the floor. Vito, who is far less calm than Lia, drops the knife.

Lia takes Vito to her apartment above the shop. He tells her that he knows that she’s “La Strega” and that, ten years earlier, she put a curse on his mother (played by Maria Tucci) when she and Lia had a dispute over a ring that his mother brought to the shop. His mother has just died as a result of the curse and Vito wants vengeance.

Lia explains that she’s not a witch and that Vito’s mother’s dispute was actually with Lia’s mother. Lia also suggests that it was Vito’s mother who tried to steal the ring. Lia says that Vito will spend the next two weeks working for her and seeing what type of person she actually is. If, at the end of the two weeks, he still wants to kill her, she’ll accept that it is fate. Vito agrees.

For the next two weeks, Vito works in the shop and lives in Lia’s apartment. (I guess someone else is handling his mother’s funeral.) Vito is haunted by dreams in which both Lia and his mother attempt to seduce him and beg him to kill the other. Vito starts to fall in love with Lia and, as the two weeks come to a close, Lia says that she wants to enjoy what might be her last night on Earth….

Directed by feminist filmmaker Lizzie Borden, this episode ends the first season of Monsters on a rather moody note. Vito is never quite sure whether or not he can trust either Lia or the angry spirit of his mother and, in the end, no one’s motives are really that clear. The episode ends on a rather enigmatic note, which is a polite way of saying that it’s confusing as Hell. That said, Rob Morrow, Maria Tucci, and Linda Blair all give good performances and Borden does a good job of creating an appropriately dream-like atmosphere. In the end, the main impression one takes from this episode is that Vito, for all of his bluster, was essentially just a pawn in a supernatural battle between two powerful women, even if Vito himself wasn’t smart enough to realize it. This episode is not a bad note for the first season to end on.

The first season of Monsters was uneven. When it was good, it was really good. When it was weak, it was really weak. For the most part, though, it was enjoyable and most of the stories were memorably macabre.

Next week, we’ll see if that trend continue as we start the second season of Monsters!

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 4.8 “The Baby Alarm/Tell Her She’s Great/Matchmaker, Matchmaker Times Two”

Posted on March 20, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week …. stuff happens!

Episode 4.8 “The Baby Alarm/Tell Her She’s Great/Matchmaker, Matchmaker Times Two”

(Dir by Ray Austin, originally aired on November 29th, 1980)

This episode opens with Doc, Gopher, and Julie all angry with Isaac. Apparently, while they were on shore leave, they went to see a church production of MacBeth, one that starred Isaac’s Aunt Tanya (Isabel Sanford) as Lady MacBeth. Apparently, the play was terrible and Aunt Tanya was even worse and somehow this is Isaac’s fault.

(Myself, I’m more confused by the idea of a church doing a production of MacBeth.)

Isaac, however, has one more favor to ask. Aunt Tanya is going to be a passenger on the next cruise, along with her husband, Charles (Mel Stewart). Isaac begs everyone to tell Tanya that she was great in the play. Everyone acts as if this is the most difficult thing that they’ve ever been asked to do but they finally agree. Even Captain Stubing agrees, even though he wasn’t at the play.

(Again, I’m confused as to why everyone is so upset over having to be polite to Isaac’s aunt. Were they all planning on throwing tomatoes at her and booing when she boarded the ship?)

All of the praise goes to Aunt Tanya’s head and, halfway through the cruise, she decides to leave her husband and go to Hollywood to be a star. Isaac finally has to tell Tanya that she’s not a good actress and that he had to beg his co-workers to be nice to her. Good Lord, how bad could she have been? The important thing, though, is that, by crushing Tanya’s dreams and confidence, Isaac is able to save the marriage.

Speaking of marriage, Mr. and Mrs. Clark (Troy Donahue and Terry Moore) think that it would be great if their son, Brett (Lorenzo Lamas, who looks nothing like either Troy Donahue or Terry Moore), married his friend-since-childhood, Cathy Cummings (Melissa Sue Anderson). Cathy’s parents (Farley Granger and Joan Lorring) agree! Brett and Cathy get so annoyed with all of the matchmaking going on that they decide to pretend that they’re sleeping together just to freak out their parents. And it works, despite the fact that the parents wanted them to get together in the first place. I guess the parents expected them to hold off on having sex until after the wedding. Get with the times, you boomers! Anyway, having fake sex causes Cathy and Brett to fall in love so I guess there will be real sex in the future …. but only after they say, “I do!” Dumb as this storyline was, Lorenzo Lamas and Melissa Sue Anderson were really cute together.

Finally, Cynthia Bowden (Susan Howard) boards the boat with her adorable baby. The baby has a sixth sense. If he cries, Cynthia knows that any nearby man is no good. For instance, no good Gig Wayburn (Stan Sells) is only interested in one thing and the baby cries as soon as he enters the cabin. Good, baby! Fortunately, when the baby’s father, Bill (John Reilly), shows up on the boat, the baby doesn’t cry at all and it leads to a happy reunion between him and Cynthia.

This week’s episode was pretty bland and I actually found myself struggling to remember much about it while writing up this review. Some cruises are like that, I guess.

Oh well….

….

Personally, I think I’d make a kickass Lady MacBeth.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Baywatch Nights 1.18 “Vengeance”

Posted on March 19, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997. The entire show is currently streaming on You tube!

This week, Baywatch Nights get uncomfortably violent as a crazed killer escapes from prison and targets everyone responsible for putting him away in the first place.

Episode 1.18 “Vengeance”

(Dir by Georg Fenady, originally aired on April 20th, 1996)

A psycho murderer named Johnny Larkin (Robert Dryer) escapes from prison and kills everyone who he blames for his conviction. He shoots a bailiff in the head. He beats the judge to death with his own gavel. He shoots the jury foreman and dunks his dead body into a fish tank. His latest target? The cops who arrested him, Lea Broussard (Dominique Jennings) and her former partner, Garner Ellerbee. It falls to Garner, Mitch, and Ryan to stop him.

Yikes! My main thought on this episode of Baywatch Nights was that it was unusually violent for the show. The episode opens with Johnny beating the judge to death and then its followed by a lengthy scene of Lea staring at the blood-drenched blanket covering the judge’s body and it just keeps going from there. The jury foreman begs for his life and says that he was just doing his civic duty and, as he died, it occurred to me that no one volunteers for jury duty. The man’s life is ended because he was randomly selected to serve. By the time Johnny was attempting to drown Lea, I found myself wondering about the families of all the people who had been killed and how their lives would be forever changed. It didn’t make for very pleasant viewing and it made the scenes of Mitch and Ryan flirting feel very awkward and out-of-place. I know that I’ve complained about Baywatch Nights leaving behind its noir inspirations to become an imitation of Baywatch but this episode goes too far in the other direction. Baywatch Nights should be a fun detective show, not a disturbing hour of televised horror.

I will give the show some credit for making Johnny Larkin into a genuinely scary villain. Robert Dryer played Johnny with just the right of amount of ruthless madness. That said, how stupid was Johnny to leave a newspaper clipping about his trial with the judge’s dead body? Basically, Johnny announced his guilt and that he was seeking to kill everyone who had anything to do with him getting convicted the first time. Way to lose the element of surprise, Johnny.

Anyway, this episode just wasn’t any fun and, as a result, I really don’t have much to say about it. If there’s anything that a show like Baywatch Night should never do, it’s taking itself seriously. This is a series that was made to be parodied and it is at its best when it hints that it’s in on the joke. Hopefully, next week’s episode will be better!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 4.17 “Also Rans/Portrait of Solange”

Posted on March 19, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Almost the entire show is currently streaming on Daily Motion.

Smiles, everyone, smiles! It’s Tattoo’s birthday!

Episode 4.17 “Also Rans/Portrait of Solange”

(Dir by Leslie H. Martinson, originally aired on February 28th, 1981)

It’s hard to know where to start with this episode, it’s so odd.

The first fantasy features Larry Linville as Jerome Pepper, who works in the “women’s shoes department” at Latham Department Store. He has a crush on his co-worker, Delia (Joan Prather). Delia is also the daughter of Emmett Latham (Don Porter), the owner of the store. The shy Jerome has only one fantasy. He just wants Delia to notice him.

Well, it turns out that Delia and Emmett are on the Island! They keep their horse at the Fantasy Island Stables. Delia has challenged the owner of Selby’s Department Store, widow Amelia (Arlene Dahl), to a race. The only problem is that Delia is having trouble training her horse. The horse is fast but it always stops before crossing the finish line.

Mr. Roarke arranges for Jerome to bring a horse named The Professor to the stables. The Professor is such a charismatic horse that all other horses want to hang out with him. If The Professor is standing at the finish line, Delia’s horse will have no trouble running across it. Delia has definitely noticed Jerome now.

The day of the race, The Professor disappears! So, Jerome steals an ice cream truck (“Fantasy Island Ice Cream” is written on the side of vehicle) and drives around the island announcing, “Professor! Tutti Frutti! Professor! Tutti Frutti!” Luckily, Professor loves Tutti Frutti and escapes from the stable where Amelia’s people were holding him prisoner.

Jerome and the Professor show up at the finish line, just in time to help Delia’s horse win the race. Jerome and Delia fall in love. Amelia confesses that she’s in love with Emmett and the two decide to combine their stores. So, I guess we’re just going to ignore the fact that Amelia tried to steal The Professor!

Good Lord, this fantasy! The whole thing just felt like a combination of random plot devices that had probably been snipped out of other episodes. Perhaps it would have worked better if Jerome had been a young, nerdy guy but Larry Linville appeared to be in his 50s and far too old to require a fantasy in order to talk to a co-worker.

The second fantasy is a little bit more interesting, if just because Mr. Roarke is actually nice to Tattoo for once. Tattoo’s birthday is approaching so Roarke decides to give him a fantasy as a gift. Knowing that Tattoo is a fan of Toulouse-Lautrec (and Herve Villechaize was an acclaimed painter in real life, as well), Mr. Roarke arranges for the Traditional Dance Company of Paris to come to Fantasy Island to rehearse and so Tattoo can paint them.

While Tattoo enjoys sketching all of the dancers, his favorite subject is Solange Latienne (Elissa Leeds), who takes care of the company’s costumes but who dreams of dancing herself. We’re told that Solange is French, though she doesn’t speak with an accent and she uses an American pronunciation for her last name. Tattoo falls for Solange but the company’s arrogant choreographer, Mark Ellison (David Groh), goes out of his way to try to keep Solange away from Tattoo. Knowing that Tattoo is watching from a distance, Mark kisses Solange. Thinking that Solange has rejected him, Tatoo throws away a sketch he had done of her. Awwwwww!

Mr. Roarke informs Tattoo that an emergency meeting of the “Island Council,” has been scheduled for the night. (This is the first time we’ve ever heard of this Island Council.) Tattoo agrees to go in Roarke’s place but it turns out that the meeting is a surprise party! The owner of the Traditional Dance Company, Alfred Gerrard (MacDonald Carey), buys Tattoo’s sketches. Then Solange dances as a part of the birthday celebration and Alfred is so impressed that he makes her a part of the company. Take that, Mark!

So, both Solange and Tattoo’s fantasies come true. Though Solange still leaves the Island so, once again, Tattoo’s heart is broken. Again, awwwwww!

Elissa Leeds was convincing neither as a French girl nor as a dancer but the second fantasy was still enjoyable, if just because it gave Herve Villechaize a rare chance to do something more than announce the plane and ask Mr. Roarke to explain everyone’s fantasies. Villechaize did a good job in this episode and it was nice to see he and Montalban pretending to like each other.

It was an uneven episode but at least Tattoo had a nice birthday.

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 1.18 “Cry Wolf”

Posted on March 18, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, someone is calling in false emergencies and neither Baker nor Ponch are going to let him get away with it!

Episode 1.18 “Cry Wolf”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on February 16th, 1978)

A creepy weirdo named Walt (Brad David) is angry at the world. He hasn’t been able to get a job since he got out of prison and his sister is always giving him a hard time. Walt deals with his anger by driving up to police call boxes and phoning in reports of imaginary accidents. For every call, the fire department and the highway patrol waste precious recourses responding. Getraer wants the caller caught and he’s placed Jon in charge of the task force to take him down.

This is one of those episodes where the emphasis is on how all the various departments work together to keep people safe. Whenever Walt places a call, we’re presented with a montage of cops and firemen racing to be the first one to arrive at the “accident.” Though the show makes clear that Walt is not thinking straight and that he’s not in a good place mentally, the emphasis is still on how many resources are wasted on his calls.

It gets so bad that Jon and Ponch start to assume that every call is a prank. When someone calls in to say that a helicopter has crashed on the highway, Jon is shocked to discover that a helicopter actually has crashed. He and Ponch rush the plane’s cargo — rare blood for an operation — to a local hospital and are scolded for showing up late. That’s the danger of crying wolf. When Walt is finally caught by Baker and Ponch, he attempts to jump off a bridge. Baker and Ponch stop him, of course. As they pull him back to safety, Baker says that Walt is lucky they weren’t busy answering a false call.

This was a good episode for Baker, as he also got a subplot in which a minor motorcycle crash led to him meeting and dating an X-ray technician named Karen Rayburn (Kathryn Holcomb). Baker and Karen were a cute couple and there was something undeniably charming about how nervous Baker got whenever he had to flirt. Larry Wilcox was not the most expressive actor but his stiff demeanor was put to good use in this episode.

This was not a bad episode. Since the majority of the episode focused on one storyline, this episode felt more cohesive than some of the ones that came before it. As usual, the main highlight was watching Baker and Ponch weave their way in and out of traffic. The scenery was lovely and there was even an exploding helicopter! You can’t go wrong with that.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.6 “Buddies”

Posted on March 18, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Crockett discovers that one of his oldest friends has a secret.

Episode 2.6 “Buddies”

(Dir by Henry Mastrogeorge, originally aired on November 1st, 1985)

When sleazy stand-up comedian Morty Price (a youngish Nathan Lane) attempts to sexually assault a cocktail waitress named Dorothy (Eszter Balint), he ends up getting fatally stabbed with a steak knife. Dorothy flees from the crime scene, taking her baby and grabbing a bunch of random papers that, unknown to her, prove that Morty Price was placing illegal bets with mobster Frank Doss (Frankie Valli). This information could keep Doss from being able to get a casino license in Florida.

Because Doss and his partner, Johnny Cannata (Tom Signorelli), are mob-connected, Castillo and Vice take over the investigation of Price’s murder. Sonny and Tubbs learn, from an informant (Karla Tamburrelli), that Price took Dorothy up to his room before he was murdered. While Crockett and Tubbs search for Dorothy to find out what happened with Price, Doss and Cannata send their men to track down Dorothy and keep the papers from reaching the police.

During the investigation, Sonny is stunned to come across security footage of one of his oldest friends, Robbie Cann (James Remar), meeting with Doss and Cannata. Robbie not only served in Vietnam with Sonny but he has also recently asked Sonny to be his son’s godfather. Robbie has just opened up a club and, as he explains to Sonny, he finally feels like he’s something more than just a loser. When Sonny confronts Robbie about meeting with the gangsters, Robbie admits that he borrowed money from them to start the club but he insists that he doesn’t have any other type of relationship with them. However, when Sonny attends the christening of Robbie’s son, he discovers that Robbie’s name is actually Robert Cannata. He is Johnny Cannata’s son! Robbie insists that he has nothing to do with his father’s business but Sonny is forced to ask just how much he can trust one of his closest friends.

This episode is a bit of a mess. On the plus side, fans of character actors will enjoy this episode. James Remar’s nervy performance keeps you guessing and it’s undeniably interesting to see Nathan Lane playing someone that sleazy. Frankie Valli and Tom Signorelli make for convincing gangsters. It’s also the first episode of the series to really feature Sonny talking about what it was like to serve in Vietnam and it deserves some credit for attempting to explore the difficulty that many veterans face when trying to adjust back to civilian life. Robbie has not had an easy life after returning to the U.S. but now, he finally has a wife, a child, and a business. Sonny may feel betrayed by Robbie but he’s also aware that his investigation is going to potentially ruin Robbie’s life.

On the other hand, the episode attempts to take on so much that it stretches itself a bit then. It requires a real suspension of disbelief to accept that Sonny would just happen to be assigned to an investigation that would involve his best friend. I mean, what are the chances? The episode also can’t seem to decide if it wants to focus on Robbie or if it wants to focus on Dorothy and her child. As a result, neither story really feels as if it gets all of the attention that it deserves.

Next week, the Vice Squad investigates jazz legend Miles Davis!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Degrassi Junior High 2.9 “Dog Days”

Posted on March 17, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi Junior High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1987 to 1989! The series can be streamed on YouTube!

This week, we check back in with Stephanie and Arthur.

Episode 2.9 “Dog Days”

(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on February 29th, 1988)

Stephanie is feeling depressed. She no longer cares about keeping up her grades. She no longer changes clothes or puts on makeup when she arrives at school. She wants nothing to do with her former best friends, the Farrell Twins. She’s no longer interested in being school president or even trying to capture Simon’s attention.

When her friends, her teachers, and her mother ask her why she’s so depressed, Stephanie refuses to tell them. “Maybe I’ll just kill myself,” she says at one point and while the Farrell Twins assume that she’s just being overdramatic, the viewer knows that Stephanie has been skipping school so that she can gaze up at a bridge and fantasize about jumping off.

(The bridge that appears in this episode was an actual bridge in Toronto that was nicknamed “Suicide Bridge,” because so many people did jump from it. So, Canadian viewers would have immediately understood the horrible significance of Stephanie standing in front of that particular bridge and staring up at it.)

Meanwhile, Stephanie’s mother wants Arthur to come over for dinner. Arthur is curious about the dinner but he’s also very concerned about what he’s going to do with Phil, an adorable puppy that has started following him around. Arthur tries to take the dog to school with him, hiding him first in his book bag and secondly in the school’s boiler room. Both times, the dog is discovered and Arthur eventually ends up with detention. Myself, I’m not a dog person but I thought the puppy was adorable and he definitely should have been enrolled in the school.

At dinner, Stephanie and Arthur’s mom announces that she’s getting married to Jerry, her latest boyfriend. Stephanie throws a tantrum and Arthur grabs Phil and leaves the house. Stephanie follows after him and finds him in the park. They have a conversation about how awkward their parents’ divorce has made their lives while sitting in the swings and Stephanie cheers up a little, realizing that Arthur will always be there for her.

During the first season of Degrassi Junior High, nearly every episode focused on Stephanie and Arthur. Up until this episode, they spent most of the second season in the background, overshadowed by the drama surrounding Spike’s pregnancy and Joey’s dreams of rock stardom. For me, as someone who likes to keep up with what’s going on with people, it was kind of nice to see the two of them finally get another spotlight episode. This episode hit close to home for me, as I struggled with depression when I was in high school and I also used to make life Hell for anyone who thought he could be my stepfather. I related to Stephanie in this episode and Nicole Stoffman did a great job of capturing the feeling of oppressive ennui that had afflicted her. Duncan Waugh also gave a good performance as Arthur, with this episode showing how much he had matured since the first season while also acknowledging that Arthur is still basically a very naive kid. I just hope he was allowed to keep the dog.

In typical Degrassi Junior High fashion, this episode ends without any clear or definite resolution. Stephanie is doing a little better but she’s still depressed and she’s still angry about her mom marrying Jerry. That was one of the great things about Degrassi. Whereas other shows always tried to wrap everything up in 30 minutes or an hour, Degrassi had the courage to admit that things were not always that easy or simple.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Check It Out! 1.20 “Edna’s New Friend”

Posted on March 16, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Edna and Leslie discover they have a lot in common!

Episode 1.20 “Edna’s New Friend”

(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on February 26th, 1986)

Brace yourself. We are once again about to explore Howard and Edna’s relationship.

Check It Out!, at least during its first season, was never particularly consistent when it came to the details of Howard and Edna’s relationship. Sometimes, Howard was the most romantic man on the planet and then, other times, he was an insensitive jerk who was incapable of understanding why Edna wouldn’t want to spend all of her time watching television at his apartment. Sometimes, Edna was down-to-Earth and realistic and, other times, she was flighty and seemingly living in a world of her own. In this episode, we’re back to Howard being a jerk and Edna wanting to experience life outside of going to work and then over to Howard’s apartment.

Edna has tickets to the ballet. As she explains, they cost her a lot of money and she’s superexcited about having managed to get them. However, Howard doesn’t care about the ballet (“I don’t like Russian ballerinas,” he explains) and he’s already made plans to watch television that night. Edna asks Jennifer if she wants to go but Jennifer has an appointment at a tanning salon. Marlene has a date and is planning on taking him to a “slam dance, so if I don’t like him, at least I’ll get to hurt him.” Finally, Edna asks Leslie, who once lived in Paris and who is a ballet fanatic!

Leslie is also a guy but he’s gay so Howard isn’t concerned about him going out with Edna. Or, at least, Howard isn’t worried until Christian suggests that Edna might try to “convert” Leslie because “women love a challenge.” Howard starts to panic….

Of course, what Howard should be panicking about is the super cheap beef that Christian has been buying and re-selling in the store. It’s not beef, at all. It’s horse meat! When the truth comes out, the customers form an angry mob. Marlene even joins them because “it was either be destroyed or become their leader.”

The character of Leslie has been one of the more interesting parts of the first season of Check It Out! Today, of course, it doesn’t seem like a big deal for a show to feature a regular character who is gay. But, by the standards of most 1980s sitcoms that I’ve seen, Check It Out! was often downright progressive in its portrayal of Leslie as being an openly gay, angst-free, and happy man who was a friend to and respected by all of his co-workers, even the stupid ones. And while this episode does feature some humor centered around Leslie’s sexuality, the target of the joke is always Howard’s insecurity and Christian’s ignorance. Again, this might not sound like much but you have to keep in mind that this is a nearly 40 year-old show. When Check it Out! aired, most gay characters were either over-the-top caricatures that audiences were invited to laugh at or special guest stars who only existed to teach a lesson to the show’s regulars and who certainly didn’t return for a second appearance. As corny and old-fashioned as Check it Out! could be, it was ahead-of-its-time when it came to Leslie.

As for the episode itself, it’s okay. This is one of those episodes that leaves you wondering why Edna puts up with Howard but the stuff with the horsemeat was funny. Marlene deciding to join the angry mob made me laugh. Marlene is a force of chaos! That’s something that this uneven but often funny show really needed.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 3/10/24 — 3/16/24

Posted on March 16, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

On Sunday, I discovered that there are hundreds of episodes of Blind Date on YouTube. Blind Date was an early reality show, where two strangers would be set up on a blind date and the cameras would follow them as they searched for a deeper connection. The show was distinguished by its snarky attitude, which was usually represented by thought balloons that would show what the two people were “really” thinking. While plenty of episodes featured likable people who went on good dates, the disastrous dates were always a lot more fun to watch.

And I’ve watched a lot of them this week. Whenever I’ve been bored or I’ve found myself struggling to focus, I’ve pulled up an episode of Blind Date and …. well, I’d be lying if I said the show was making me more productive. If anything, I’ve probably wasted a lot of time on it. But still, it makes me smile when I need to smile.

On Sunday, I also watched The Oscars. I wrote about the show here. For the most part, it was an entertaining show and I’m glad Christopher Nolan finally won his Oscar. I’ve been thinking a lot about Jonathan Glazer’s acceptance speech, of which I was not a fan. Zone of Interest is an important film and Glazer’s speech can’t change that. Still, I’m having to do now what I always tell me friends they should do whenever they discover one of their favorite directors or actors isn’t as much of a leftist as they are. I always tell them to stop whining and just separate the work from the artist. And now I’m discovering that is easier said than done. I may owe some of my friends an apology.

On Tuesday, I watched a 90s talk show called Rolanda. Rolanda interviewed gang members who wanted to come out of the closet.

On Wednesday, I was excited to watch both Survivor and The Amazing Race! Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to full concentrate on either show because I got a call halfway through Survivor but I plan on rewatching both episodes tomorrow. Survivor, I have to admit, hasn’t really worked for me lately. Ever since it came back from the Pandemic hiatus, Survivor has felt like a shadow of its past self. But I continue to unreservedly love The Amazing Race.

On Friday, I watched episodes of Vanishing Shadow and Night Flight on Night Flight Plus. The Night Flight episode featured film directors who made music videos. I’ve noticed that every episode of Night Flight finds an excuse to show Brian DePalma’s video for Relax and this episode was no different.

On Saturday morning, I watched the first episode of an old anime called Bubblegum Crash. I have no idea what was going on for most of it but a lot of stuff did blow up.

Also Watched And Reviewed Elsewhere:

Baywatch Nights

Check It Out! — Review upcoming

CHiPs

Fantasy Island

Friday the 13th: The Series

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 3.13 “Swine and Punishment”

Posted on March 16, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC from 1975 to 1979. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, in a special Thanksgiving episode, Freddie is accused of cheating.

Episode 3.13 “Swine and Punishment”

(Dir by Bob Claver, originally aired on November 24th, 1977)

At the new apartment, Gabe tells Julie about the time his Uncle Thomas came across a man who had his ear to the ground. Uncle Thomas listened to the ground and heard nothing. The man agreed and said that it had been that way for hours. It was a bit of an odd joke but Julie laughed.

Meanwhile, at the school, Mr. Woodman interrupts Gabe’s class to announce that Freddie “Boom Boom” Washington passed his English test. He got a 94!

YAY!

Mr. Woodman says that there’s no way that Freddie could have passed the test without cheating.

Boo! Hiss! Hiss!

Seriously, Mr. Woodman’s usually a great character and John Sylvester White’s unhinged performance is one of the few consistently funny things about this show (especially in the later seasons) but Woodman is the worst in this episode. One of the Sweathogs finally does well in a class that isn’t taught by Mr. Kotter and Woodman accuses him of cheating. No wonder the Sweathogs don’t have any self-esteem.

Woodman says that Freddie can prove his innocence by taking and passing a make-up exam. Freddie refuses and Gabe supports him. But when the other Sweathogs talk about how proud they are of Freddie, Freddie relents and agrees to take the makeup test.

That night, Freddie shows up at the Kotter apartment. After thanking Gabe for supporting him, Freddie reveals that he did cheat on the first test. He cheated because he knew the material (apparently, Freddie is a huge fan of Alexandre Dumas and The Three Musketeers) and he couldn’t stand the idea of getting a bad grade on material that he knew. Freddie’s self-esteem is so low that he’s convinced that he can’t pass a test without cheating.

Awwwwww! Poor Freddie!

With Gabe’s encouragement, Freddie takes the makeup exam without cheating. (The other Sweathogs attempt to write the answers on a gyro sandwich but Horshack screws it up by putting mustard on the sandwich and …. well, look, it was all really dumb, okay?) Freddie again passes the exam, this time getting an 84.

Yay!

But Gabe tells Freddie that he still needs to tell the truth about cheating on the first exam….

WHAT!? Gabe — what are you thinking!?

Freddie agrees that Gabe is right and I can only assume that he got kicked out of school as a result. Sorry, Freddie, it was nice knowing you.

Back at the Kotter apartment, Julie refuses to listen to Gabe talk about his Uncle Robert so Gabe talks to the Thanksgiving turkey instead.

This episode felt very familiar to me and eventually, I realized that it was basically just a remake of the season two episode where Freddie was accused of stealing from the Sweathog emergency fund. Of course, during the earlier seasons, there’s no way Gabe would have pressured Freddie to confess. By the time the third season rolled around, the Sweathogs and Gabe had lost a bit of their edge and were now more concerned with being good role models.

That said, this episode deserves some credit for giving Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs a showcase. Of all the Sweathogs, Freddie was often the one who was regulated to just standing in the background and looking cool. With this episode, the viewer is reminded that Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs was a good actor in his own right and capable of playing both drama and comedy.

Next week …. it’s Epstein’s turn in the spotlight!