Category Archives: TV Review

Retro Television Review: T and T 3.13 “The Curse”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990.  The show can be found on Tubi!

So, after two months, I guess it’s time to finish up reviewing T and T.

I have to admit that I had to remind myself just what exactly this show was about before I watched the 13th episode of the third season.  It’s not a show that really sticks in your mind when you’re not watching it.  In case you need a refresher, the third season of T and T finds T.S. Turner (Mr. T) working for lawyer Terri Taler (Kristina Nicoll), who is apparently the sister of Amy Taler, the crusading lawyer that Turner worked with for the previous two seasons.

Episode 3.13 “The Curse”

(Dir by Patrick Loubert, originally aired on March 31st, 1990)

When T.S. demands that Alfredo (Sam Malkin) pay an outstanding bill for Terri’s legal services, Alfredo reacts by putting a gypsy curse on T.S.  T.S. does what anyone would do.  He fakes his death and has his friends hold a fake funeral in order to guilt Alfredo into paying the bill.

What?

Again, it’s been nearly two months since I last watched this show.  When I was taking care of my Dad, the last thing that I was thinking about was an obscure Canadian comedy/action show from the late 80s.  So, I guess I had forgotten just how silly T and T actually was.  And really, I can’t fault the show for being silly.  I mean, it’s a show that stars Mr. T.  Of course it’s going to be silly!  That said, you know that a show is running out of ideas when they trot out a gypsy curse.  The idea of T.S. Turner faking his own death had potential but the episode itself just kind of fell flat.  By the third season of T and T, it was obvious that Mr. T was so bored with the show that there really wasn’t much difference between Turner pretending to be dead and Turner being alive.

The majority of the episode is taken up with Turner’s “funeral,” which is held at Decker’s gym.  It’s a bit of a missed opportunity, especially when you consider that T and T was in its final season.  Joe Casper returns and so do three of the show’s recurring crooks.  But not present are Turner’s Aunt or his niece, both of whom were key characters during the show’s first season.  And, needless to say, Amy Taler does not attend the funeral of the man she got out of prison and worked with for two full seasons.  It really does leave the viewer wondering, once again, just what happened to Amy’s character and why the show’s third season insists on acting as if Terri has always been Turner’s partner.

Anyway, the scheme works.  Alfredo pays his bill.  Turner reveals that he’s not dead.  The funeral turns into a party.  That’s kind of nice.

I’m nearly done with this show.  That’s nice, too.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.15 “Change of Life”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!

This week, things get freaky, as in Friday.

Episode 2.15 “Change of Life”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on January 29th, 1986)

Once again, Jonathan and Mark find themselves in Hollywood.  It’s interesting just how many of Jonathan’s heavenly assignments involved helping a film or television star feel better about life.  Given that Michael Landon was heavily involved in the show as a producer, director, writer, and star, I’ve usually assumed that the Hollywood episodes were his way of dealing with his own possibly conflicted feelings about being a part of the entertainment industry.

(Interestingly, the Hollywood episodes always seem to take place in a sort of old-fashioned fantasy of Hollywood, where anyone can become a star and where westerns and historical epics were still being shot on studio backlots.)

This time, Jonathan and Mark find themselves assigned to work with actress Linda Blackwell (Anne-Marie Martin).  Jonathan is her new bodyguard and Mark is her hairdresser.  Mark totally freaks out when he discovers that he’s not only going to have to cut hair but that God has lied and provided him with a fake beauty school diploma.  Everyone, including Linda and head of studio security Sam Quigley (Greg Mullavey), assumes that Mark and Jonathan are a couple.  Jonathan is amused by it but Mark freaks out.

(Seriously, though,  Mark and Jonathan are two single, middle-aged men who drive around the country and regularly rent apartments together.  What does Mark think everyone’s been assuming for the last years and a half?)

Anyway, Mark thinks that being a woman is easy.  Linda thinks that men spend all of their time being pigs.  No sooner can you say “Freaky Friday” then the lights have switched on-and-off and Mark and Linda have switched bodies.  Mark discovers what it’s like to be objectified and Linda discovers that Sam isn’t a jerk but instead, he’s a sensitive guy who wants to marry her.

It’s a pretty simple episode, even by the standards of Highway to Heaven.  There’s a bit too much gay panic humor, with Mark overreacting to such an extent that it’s hard not to wonder if maybe there’s some truth to what everyone is assuming.  But, on the plus side, both Victor French and Anne-Marie Martin do a good job portraying Mark and Linda, both before and after they switch bodies.  There’s nothing at all subtle about Victor French’s performance here but, considering that his usual role on Highway to Heaven was to be kind of gruff and stoic, it’s a nice change-of-pace to see him not only doing physical comedy but also showing himself to be fairly adept at it.

The episode ends with both Mark and Linda back in their original bodies.  Linda marries Sam.  As for Mark, he mentions that cows never have to worry about any of the stuff that humans do.  Uh-oh, Mark, don’t give God any ideas….

TOO LATE!

The episode ends with Mark, who is driving, mooing while a cow chases after Mark and Jonathan’s car.  God apparently enjoys playing little tricks on Mark.  Hopefully, the car didn’t end up crashing.

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.8 “Two ‘Man’ Bowling”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Ugh.  I guess it’s time to get back to this stupid show.

Episode 1.8 “Two ‘Man’ Bowling”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on November 29th, 1998)

The local bowling alley has got a tournament coming up.  The grand prize is a jet ski!  Woo hoo!  Jason Collins really wants to win that jet ski and defeat Louie (Jose Urbina).  In fact, Jason even bets all of Scott’s tip money that he’ll be able to win the tournament.  (Why Scott’s tip money?  Because Louie spots the jar on the counter at the restaurant and assumes that it’s Jason’s tip money.  God, this show is freaking stupid.)  It’s a good thing that Jason is dating Stads, the best bowler in Malibu.

Except …. IT’S A TWO MAN BOWLING TOURNAMENT!  NO WOMEN ALLOWED!

Like seriously, what the Hell?  Both Stads and Sam are outraged by the blatant sexism but Jason is more worried about that jet ski and his brother’s tip money.  He recruits Scott to be his partner but then Scott sprains his wrist when it gets caught in a dollhouse that has been refurbished into a big mouse trap because there’s a mouse loose at the restaurant and…. God, this show is freaking stupid.

Anyway, Stads puts on a fake beard and wears a loose flannel shirt and speaks in a deep voice and pretends to be a guy named Earl.  Jason and “Earl” win the tournament but Melody (Marissa Jaret Winokur) develops a crush on Earl and asks him on a date.  Because Melody’s father own the bowling alley, Stads has to go on the date or else Jason won’t win his jet ski.  Huh?

Since Stads is not a total sociopath, she reveals the truth to Melody at the awards tournament.  (Actually, the truth comes out because Jason accidentally pulls off Stads’s wig but Stads was planning on coming clear regardless.)  At first, it appears that Jason and Stads are going to be disqualified but then the owner of the bowling alley decides to change the rules after the tournament has ended and, as a result, Jason and Scott win a jet ski and hey, maybe Stads will get to ride it as well.

(Seriously, Stads …. YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER!)

Meanwhile, there’s a mouse loose in the restaurant and instead of following health code regulations and closing the place down, Peter says that Murray and Sam have a day to catch it before he calls in the exterminator.  It’s dumb but I have to admit that I did kind of smile at Murray, Sam, and Tracy’s enthusiasm when it came to hunting the mouse.  They were enjoyably silly.

For the most part, though, this was a pretty freaking stupid episode that felt as if it was pieced together with plotlines and jokes that were left over from Saved By The Bell and California Dreams.  As I’ve said before, this show wouldn’t be so bad if Jason and Scott weren’t total jerks but they are.  One guy with a smirk is intriguing but two guys with a smirk feels like a threat.  I hope their jet ski sinks.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 2.12 “Museum Hearts”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

Wow, it’s been more than a little while since I last reviewed an episode of Monsters!  Well, it’s time to get back to it!  Like most anthology series, Monsters can be frustratingly uneven but occasionally, the viewer does get lucky with a really good episode.  Take this week, for instance….

Episode 2.12 “Museum Hearts”

(Dir by Theodore Gershuny, originally aired on January 7th, 1990)

Cheryl (Louise Roberts) comes to the natural history museum to see her husband, Danny (Patrick Breen).  Danny, one of the museum’s curators, said he would be working late in the basement but, as Cheryl discovers, Danny is actually in basement cheating on her with Edwina (Sarah Trigger).

However, the three of them have an even bigger problem that Danny’s infidelity.  While they’re busy arguing in the basement, the museum closes and all the doors are locked.  Danny’s suggestion is that they spend the night having a threesome.  Cheryl’s suggestion is that Danny find a way to get them out of the basement.

Attempting to reach a high window, dumbass Danny climbs on top of ancient coffin.  His foot goes through the wood.  Danny not only cuts open his ankle but he also steps on the mummified remains of Cerridwen (Pamela Dean Kelly), a Druid priestess.  His foot goes through her chest, revealing her heart.  Danny decides that it would be a good idea to grab the heart and take it as a souvenir.  Cerridwen, who is not quite dead, is not happy about that idea.

At first, Danny, Cheryl, and Edwina are terrified about the idea of being stuck with a mummy.  But it turns out that Cerridwen hates cheating men like Danny.  Cheryl and Edwina proceed to sacrifice Danny, allowing Cerridwen to revert back to her youthful appearance.  The three women leave the museum together.

So far, Monsters has been a rather uneven series but I really liked this episode.  A lot of that is due to Theodore Gershuny’s direction.  Gershuny also directed one of my favorite grindhouse films, Silent Night Bloody Night.  Just as in that film, Gershuny creates an ominous and dream-like atmosphere that goes a long way towards making up for the fact that episode’s story is rather predictable.  Fortunately, Danny is such a sleaze that it’s impossible not take some joy out of him getting his macabre comeuppance.  I liked the fact that all three of the women worked together rather than allowing Danny to turn them against one another.  Instead of getting mad at Edwina, Cheryl put the blame for Danny’s infidelity right where it belonged, on Danny.

This was a good episode with a good message.  Don’t mess around in the basement of a museum because you never know what you might find down there.  And, for the love of God, don’t step on a mummy’s chest.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 4.21 “Clothes Make The Girl/Black Sheep/Hometown Girl”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

It’s time for another cruise on …. THE LOVE BOAT!

Episode 4.21 “Clothes Make The Girl/Black Sheep/Hometown Girl”

(Dir by Earl Bellamy, originally aired on February 28th, 1981)

This week’s cruise is all about money!

For instance, in this episode, we learn that Doc Bricker is from a small town called Cedar Flats.  Doc was the head of a committee that raised the money necessary to send Mike Lucas (Randy Powell) to medical school so that Mike could return home and serve as the town doctor.  However, when Mike boards the cruise with his fiancée, Tracy (Cindy Morgan), it turns out that he has some bad news.  Tracy’s wealthy father has offered Mike a job working at a Park Avenue clinic in Manhattan.  Mike is planning on taking the job because of the money and the fact that Tracy doesn’t want to live in a small town.  Unfortunately, that will leave Cedar Flats without a doctor.

Doc Bricker, showing that he actually is a man of integrity despite also being a walking HR nightmare, decides that he has no choice but to return to Cedar Flats and serve as their doctor until someone can be found to replace him.  He asks Captain Stubing for a six-month leave of absence.  Stubing agrees but warns that the cruise line might hire someone to take Doc’s place.

Meanwhile, Suzy Marshall (Kyle Aletter) is excited because it appears that her daughter, Anne (Lee Meriwether), has attracted the attention of a wealthy man named Jonathan (Larry Breeding).  Little do they know that Jonathan is actually just Johnny, the ship’s valet.  Johnny is wearing another passenger’s clothes and pretending to be rich.

At one point, Johnny takes Anne back to his cabin, making this the first episode to show us what a low-level employee’s cabin looks like.  It’s small and cramped and located at the bottom the boat, which means it’ll be the first to flood if The Love Boat ever hits an iceberg.  It’s also mentioned that Johnny is not allowed to eat in the main dining room with the passengers.  I have to admit that it’s all a bit disillusioning.  Apparently, the Love Boat is a terrible place to work!

Finally, a passenger named Donald Gray (Robert Ginty) tells the Captain that he works for the Secret Service.  He is on the Love Boat because he hopes to capture a notorious counterfeiter.  But what will happen when that counterfeiter turns out to be Jesse (Demond Wilson), Issac’s ne’er-do-well uncle who claims to have turned a new leaf?  Poor Isaac!

Well, don’t worry.  Everything works out:

1) Mike realizes that he has to honor his commitment to Cedar Flats and, after talking to her father, Cindy realizes that she loves Mike enough that she can be happy in a small town.  (Cindy’s father says some very dismissive things about Cedar Flats but it turns out that he was only doing that to get Mike so outraged that he would have no choice but to return home.  He was doing it as a favor to Doc Bricker.  Can you imagine if that plan didn’t work?  What if Mike just said, “You’re right!  New York, here we come!”)

2) Anne learns the truth when she sees Johnny in his valet uniform.  Luckily, she doesn’t care.

3) It turns out that Donald is actually a criminal who is masquerading as a treasury agent and Uncle Jesse is an undercover government agent!  Isaac is happy to learn this but also agrees to keep Jesse’s secret.  “You’re my favorite nephew,” Uncle Jesse replies.  Awwwww!

This was an okay cruise.  The guest stars weren’t particularly interesting but Bernie Kopell and Ted Lange both got an opportunity to show what they could do when given a real storyline to deal with.  Kopell especially deserves a lot of credit for showing that humanity that lurked underneath Doc’s carefree surface.  This episode kept me entertained and I enjoyed the scenery.  Really, what else can you ask for from The Love Boat?

Late Night Retro Television Review: Baywatch Nights 2.8 “Last Breath”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Some people stand in the darkness …. let’s get back to reviewing Baywatch Nights!  I’ve missed talking about this silly show.

Episode 2.8 “Last Breath”

(Dir by Gregory J. Bonnan, originally aired on November 17th, 1996)

Lifeguards are disappearing!

After hearing the sounds of someone shouting for help in the distance, three lifeguards — including Donna — vanish while investigating.  It’s assumed that they’ve drowned but Mitch has his doubts.  And it turns out that Mitch is correct!  This is an evil haunting the sea and yes, it’s stalking lifeguards.

What type of evil is it?

Is it a sea monster?

Is it a ghost?

Is it an alien creature?

How about a mutant octopus?

Maybe a dinosaur of some sort?

Could it be an unfrozen Viking or a vampire or a time traveler or a….

Well, you get the idea.  And really, it should have been one of those things.  The second season of Baywatch Nights was all about David Hasselhoff and Angie Harmon investigating supernatural ocean stuff.  It was specifically designed to be X-Files on the beach.  We’ve all heard the urban legend of the weeping woman who haunts lakes.  As soon as the lifeguards heard those shouts, I assumed this episode would feature an ocean version of La Llorona.

Well, it turns out I was wrong.  Instead, the lifeguard are being kidnapped by a man who blames them for the death of his family in a car accident.  The madman (Brett Baxter Clark), who is not at all supernatural, is keeping the lifeguards trapped in a cage.  (How do random madmen always manage to have a super-strong cage just lying around?)  He wants to recreate the accident that led to the death of his family.  Can Mitch track the cage down and rescue his lifeguards?

This episode was disappointing on many levels, with the main problem being that there was really nothing to distinguish it from a typical episode of Baywatch.  All it needed was to open with that Some People Stand In The Darkness song for it to be an episode of Baywatch.  When you watch the second season of Baywatch Nights, you’re watching because you want to see David Hasselhoff and Angie Harmon pretending to be Mulder and Scully.  You watch it because you want to see a combination of swimsuits and supernatural phenomena.  Once you take away the supernatural, you take away this show’s main appeal.

That said, if you were a fan of the original Baywatch, you may enjoy certain parts of this episode. Newmie shows up!  At first, I was like, “Don’t you dare kidnap Newmie!” but, fortunately, Newmie was too clever to fall for any traps.

Next week, the supernatural will return to the beach!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 5.7 “The Perfect Husband/Volcano”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984.  Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites.  Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

Yay!  It’s finally time to return to the Island.

Episode 5.7 “The Perfect Husband/Volcano”

(Dir by Philip Leacock, originally aired on November 21st, 1981)

This week, it’s Tattoo’s turn to serve as Roarke’s sidekick while Julie is sent off to deal with two weddings and a tour for “the seniors.”

On the one hand, it’s incredibly awkward for Roarke to have two sidekicks and it’s pretty obvious that Julie was only hired to serve as insurance in case Herve Villechaize walked off the set.

On the other hand, it is kind of nice to be reminded of the fact that there’s a lot happening on Fantasy Island.  Fantasy Island is not just a mystical nation that is ruled over by the enigmatic Mr. Roarke.  It’s also a resort that hosts vacations and retirement homes.  Apparently, you don’t have to have a fantasy in order to spend some time on Fantasy Island.  Instead, you can just come to Fantasy Island for a nice tropical vacation.  That’s kind of nice.

But, that said, the fantasies are why we’re here.  We’ve got two good ones this week.

Dorothy Nicholson (Susan Sullivan) is a newspaper publisher who has been feeling unfulfilled ever since her husband was killed by a drunk driver.  She want to find the perfect husband, a man without any flaws whatsoever.  After giving her his customary “You may not like what you find,” warning, Roarke sends her to Paradise Cove.  Operated by the sinister Anton Jagger (Rossano Brazzi), Paradise Cover is a resort where wealthy women are assigned the perfect companion.  Dorothy’s perfect man is Gilbert (Lyle Waggoner).  Gilbert is handsome, suave, charming, and attentive.  Unfortunately, like all of the perfect men at Paradise Cove, he’s also a robot and a part of Jagger’s scheme to cheat women out of their money!  Dorothy figures out the truth after Gilbert doesn’t even flinch after his hand catches on fire.  Can she defeat Jagger’s plans and rescue the real Gilbert?

(Of course, she can.  It’s Fantasy Island!)

Dr. Hal Workman (George Maharis) thinks that he’s figured out a way to detect when a volcano is going to erupt.  He wants to go to Fantasy Island’s own active volcano to test out his methods.  Roarke agrees, even though he worries that Dr. Workman only cares about science and not about people.  (Honestly, who cares?  A volcano detection system sounds like it would be a good thing, regardless of the motives of the man who created it.)  Workman is led to the volcano by a disillusioned former priest named Lauria (Richard Romanus).  However, Workman and Lauria are not the only people at the volcano.  There’s also a shady tycoon, Joseph Butler (Norman Alden), and his girlfriend, Terri (Misty Rowe).  You can probably guess what happens.  Workman falls in love with Terri.  Lauria finds his faith.  And Butler presumably dies when the volcano erupts and a deluge of what appears to be very thin tomato sauce comes pouring down the mountain.

Both of these fantasies were cheerfully ridiculous, which made them a lot of fun.  You may wonder why Roarke would send one of his guests to a resort that’s being run by a madman and that’s a legitimate question.  But the important thing is that the viewer gets a montage of all of the robots malfunctioning at once.  And you may wonder at the wisdom of allowing someone to go to an active volcano but the important thing is that we get a scene of George Maharis and Richard Romanus running away from the least realistic lava flow ever caught on film.  Fantasy Island is a lot of fun when it goes over the top and embraces its beautiful absurdity and that’s exactly what this episode did.

What a wonderful trip to the Island!

Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.10 “Return of the Turks”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

After two months, I’m ready to get back on the California highways with Jon and Ponch!

Episode 2.10 “Return of the Turks”

(Dir by Barry Crane, aired on November 25th, 1978)

It’s always bad news whenever Ponch runs into any of his old friends.

In this episode, when he pulls over a van, he’s shocked to discover that it’s being driven by his old friend, Sid (Kaz Garas).  After discovering that former wild man Ponch has now become a cop, Sid spirals into a midlife crisis that leads to him and his friend Rudy (Mark Thomas) playing bumper cars on the highway.  Sid is freaked out by the entire experience but Rudy discovers that he loves intentionally bumping into other cars and forcing them off the road.

This episode featured a lot of car crashes and, as usual with CHiPs, they were well-filmed.  But I have to admit that I found it almost too disturbing to watch.  Usually, I enjoy a good car chase or a spectacularly-filmed car crash.  I like fast cars and I’ve always been aware that, when a car crashes onscreen, it’s being driven by a stunt driver.  But, back in May, was Dad was in a very serious car crash.  He not only broke his shoulder but the crash aggravated his Parkinson’s and the subsequent stay in the hospital and in rehab left him so weak that he died two weeks ago.  As a result, I’m not really in the mood for car crashes right now.  That’s not the fault of this show, of course.  And, under normal circumstances, I would probably be raving about how exciting Rudy’s highway mayhem was.

Ponch is not the only one who meets someone from his past.  Baker runs into Pete (James Houghton), the brother of his former partner.  Pete’s brother died when he crashed his motorcycle on duty.  Pete now puts on his brother’s uniform and pretends to be a member of the Highway Patrol, writing tickets and directing traffic,  Because he stole and copied a page from Ponch’s ticket book, Ponch gets the credit for all the tickets but — uh oh! — it turns out that a lot of the tickets are being contested in court.  Pete is a bit overzealous.  Can Baker and Ponch get Pete off the street before he pulls over the wrong person?  And why is a story about the brother of Baker’s former partner mostly about Ponch?

This was a rather melancholy episode.  It’s easy to laugh at any episode that features people talking about how Ponch used to be a delinquent because Erik Estrada’s goofy performance doesn’t exactly lend itself to that interpretation.  But, in the end, Sid, Pete, and even Rudy were all suffering from a general sort of malaise.  They all regretted the way that their lives had turned out and they were all using the California highways as a way to live out their dreams.  Unfortunately, by doing so, they put other people’s lives at risk.  Fortunately, Baker and Ponch were there to keep the highways safe …. though only after two spectacularly-filmed pile-ups.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.20 “Payback”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

After taking a two-month hiatus, I think it’s time to finally get back to the reviews.  Thank you for your patience, everyone.  Now, let’s head to down to Miami for some Vice!

Episode 2.20 “Payback”

(Dir by Aaron Lipstadt, originally aired on March 14th, 1986)

A low-level drug dealer named Jesus Moroto (Roberto Duran) wants a meeting with the detective who arrested him and sent him to jail.  When Sonny Crockett arrives to see what Moroto wants, Sonny is shocked when Moroto commits suicide in the visitation room.

Sudden and violent deaths are a recurring thing in Miami but the death of Moroto haunts Sonny.  As Sonny explains to Tubbs, it doesn’t make any sense for Moroto, who was only looking at a few years in jail, to have killed himself.  Sonny wonders why Moroto died in front of him.  Tubbs suggests that Sonny instead focus on their current assignment, trying to get close to the elusive drug lord, Mario Fuente (played by famed art rocker, Frank Zappa).  As a lot of drug lords do on this show, Fuente lives on a yacht and it’s next to impossible to see him.  Using their undercover identities as Burnett and Cooper, Crockett and Tubbs have so far only been able to meet with Fuente’s second-in-command, Reuben Reydolfo (Dan Hedaya).

Crockett and Tubbs find themselves assigned to work with two DEA agents, one whom — Kevin Cates (Graham Beckel) — claims that he can get Crockett and Tubbs onto Fuente’s boat.  Crockett and Tubbs are reluctant to work with anyone but it soon turns out that Cates is apparently better at his job than Crockett and Tubbs gave him credit for.

Except, of course, everyone’s got a secret.  Before he went to jail, Moroto stole several million dollars from Fuente.  It turns out that Internal Affairs is convinced that Crockett helped Moroto steal the money and Fuente, who knows that Burnett and Cooper are actually Crockett and Tubbs, believes the same thing.  The only person who can truly prove that Crockett is innocent is Kevin Cates and that’s because he’s the one who stole the money!

It doesn’t matter that the twisty plot of this particular episode is not always easy to follow.  It also doesn’t matter that this episode leaves you wondering just how exactly Crockett and Tubbs have managed to maintain their Burnett/Cooper personas for so long without everyone in Miami’s underworld figuring out the truth.  (Personally, I wonder that after every episode.)  This episode works due to the atmospheric direction of Aaron Lipstadt and the performances of Don Johnson, Edward James Olmos, Frank Zappa, and especially Graham Beckel.  Beckel gives a performance that will keep you guessing at just who exactly Kevin Cates is working for and whether or not he can be trusted.  That he makes Kevin into a somewhat likable character makes it all the more disturbing when he turns out to not be quite the honest law enforcer that he made himself out to be.  If the main theme of Miami Vice often seemed to be that Crockett and Tubbs were fighting a war that there was no way to win, this episode shows why their work often felt so futile.  In this episode, Crockett not only has to battle a drug lord but he also has to battle Internal Affairs.  No one trusts anyone.

The episode ends on an ambiguous note, with Crockett technically cleared but still unable to truly prove his innocence.  (Kevin Cates, the only man who can truly prove Crockett’s innocence, is naturally gunned down during the show’s final few minutes.)  Crockett is warned that Fuente is still going to be coming after him.  (Unfortunately, Zappa was in poor health when he filmed this episode and Fuente would never return.)  This episode is Miami Vice at its most cynical and its most effective.

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 8/11/24 — 8/17/24

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

I didn’t watch much this week but here’s a few thoughts on what I did watch!

American Murder: Laci Peterson (Netflix)

This three-part docuseries is the perfect antidote for that horribly biased The Murder of Laci Peterson show that still occasionally shows up on A&E.  Watching this series (as I did on Thursdasy), you are really left with no doubt that Scott Peterson murdered his wife and child.  As opposed to the one-sided approach taken by The Murder of Laci Peterson (which was essentially bankrolled by the Peterson family), American Murder gave both sides equal time.  As a result, the viewer sees how strong the case  against Scott actually was and they also see just how much in denial the Peterson family is actually in as far as Scott’s crimes are concerned.

Diff’Rent Strokes (YouTube)

Gary Coleman and the kid who played Reggie in Friday the 13th Part V found themselves being groomed by the creepy owner of a bicycle shop.  This was the episode that I watched, for some reason (boredom, perhaps), on Wednesday.  The owner of the bicycle shop was played by a familiar actor named Gordon Jump.  He seemed like a really nice guy but then he started giving the boys wine and inviting them to watch pornographic cartoons.  The episode ended with a detective explaining how the perverted mind works to a stunned Todd Bridges.

This episode is apparently an infamous one.  I thought it was fairly well-done, though the laugh track definitely felt out of place.  The episode opened with the star of the show, the very erudite Conrad Bain, encouraging families to watch and discuss the episode together.  He sounded very sincere.

Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)

The episode that I watched on Friday featured clips from and videos inspired by Woodstock.  The music was great!

The Office (Comedy Central)

I watched the classic “Did I Stutter” episode on Sunday.  That episode was The Office at its best, especially when Stanley and Michael talked about their differences.  Michael was so desperate for Stanley to like him and Stanley, to be honest, seemed like he wished he could bring himself to like Michael as well.  But, as Stanley put it, “I’ve known you for a very long time.”  Great episode.

Sally Jessy Raphael (Nosey)

On Sunday, I watched an episode from the early 90s.  Sally interviewed Corey Feldman about his career and his struggle to get off drugs.  Feldman said that he couldn’t wait to get his film career back on track.  Character actor Brion James also talked about his own struggle to get and stay clean.  It was kind of a depressing episode, to be honest.  James came across like a kind and plain-spoken man but Feldman seemed like he was desperately trying to convince everyone (including himself) that he was okay.

The Steve Wilkos Show (Nosey)

“Get off my stage!” Steve yelled, throwing a chair at a bigamist.  That’s what happened during the episode that I watched on Friday.  I wonder how much money this show spends on chairs.  It can’t be good for them, the way Steve is constantly throwing them at people.