I know camel spiders are gross, but there wasn’t a title card made for this short; so, I decided to add something scary for them. This short is only 1 minute- YAY.
A woman listens to a tape that ask them to thing about death. The voice has her do some light neck stretches and wham she sees a ghost. I suppose that this is scary.
There is a beginning, middle, and an end. Also, it is just a minute long. Is it better than the Progressive don’t turn into your parents ads? NO! However, it is better than…well…I had a crown put on recently; so, better than that FOR SURE!
I suppose this is becoming the October of AI. I wanted see if there was ANYTHING good being churned out. They are quite terrible usually. I think it’s fair to say that they are all bad, but some flirt with a D+. Mother is haunted house story. A pregnant mother decides to go exploring in her own home …. for some reason. It did not look like she just moved in; so, exploring your home is kinda nuts. So, she explores and hears children giggling and goes into a room that looks like a grenade exploded in it. She decides to touch a wall, which opens to a sewer tunnel and decides to go spelunking… as you do.
She’s going through the home sewer and find a ghost child and evil spirit. There was no reason at all for her to do the things she did. I supposed we assume she drunk on stupid juice and turned into a ghost hunter.
What positive things can I write? It was a film. It had a beginning, middle, and an end. There were scenes and the color yellow, which is maybe not positive, but I’m really trying. Also, the sewer was pretty clean, if you’re into that- this is the film for you!
Yes, this is their online poster. Yes, there is no title. Yes, the robot apocalypse will be boring. I don’t know what jobs AI is going to take away, but it will definitely bore us more quickly. Do we really need to make the Alex Magana’s of the world make more film gonorrhea? What would the penicillin be for an Alex Magana film?
However, Alex Magana did not make this steaming pile of jelly garbage, it was Dark Dabs Horror. The world gets attacked by an extraterrestrial jellyfish that covers the earth in goo and kills everything. Why? Who knows? Is it gross? Not really. Nobody dissolves; instead, they all look like they took a swim in jell-o. I wouldn’t call it horror as much as I would call it unintentionally kinda fun in a very sad way. The future is boring.
Can AI be used to make an entertaining horror short? We have a parking garage security guard searching the property because he hears a noise. He finds his coworker slain. A zombie starts rewiring the fuse box and turns off the lights in the garage. The zombie is smart He encounters the zombie and starts shooting and shooting, killing more and more zombies to heavy metal and that is the whole film. I enjoyed it. So, AI can make a fun horror short and actors will become a thing of the past. If you have 2.6 minutes to spare, check it out.
Once again, I have been thwarted from putting a title card from IMDB in my post. In this case, I think they are kind of shy. I was not even able to provide a link. It’s called The Killer and it was created by OTP_tv.
The premise is what if a killer really needs to go to the bathroom after the murder? Funny things happen – that’s what! I would almost describe this short as pure comedy, until the end. I was the first person to watch the short because it dropped today and I coincidentally was around at the time. The short is simple and does not try to be too many things, but it does achieve humor and that’s a good thing.
The short begins with a couple bantering about wine and poo….as you do. Then, it appears the wife is bothered by the joke. The husband is stabbed in the bathroom and hilarity ensues. This is a fun short and does not take itself too seriously. If you have 3 or 4 minutes to spare, let it be The Killer.
I reached out to the creators on YouTube and if they get back to me, I will update the review with additional details.
I was unable to find anything on IMDB for this film; so, I used this photo from a previous review where it looked like they were going for a Santa Pedo vibe. Read that review below:
Unidentified is about an ordinary guy who sees an alien invasion. This concept is so overdone that it is really its own subgenre of suckiness. Some random schmoe sees aliens and is unable to do anything about it accept die?! Mr. Filmmaker of Unidentified, why you are bothering me this garbage? Who cares?!
Hear me, it’s one thing if the ordinary person is heroic or we are setting up the story or he causes a resolution, but when it’s just some doofus driving around for 60% of the short, you are wasting my time! Mr. Filmmaker of Unidentified, I understand that creating a story is hard like how you must be always confused when you try to get the mail or turn on your phone, but that doesn’t mean you should pursue the art of film. Instead of making these terrible shorts that lack even a basic story let alone an ending, how about working on a simplistic craft? I’ll even consider putting it on my fridge! Really, my fridge has some prime real estate on it: magnets, shopping list sticky notes, and stains if it’s my housecleaning day.
If this terrible film did pique your interest…..somehow, the story is a British man in a sedan who drives for several minutes and sees a big monster- yep, that’s it. UGHHH. Maybe Alex Magana has a British cousin?
This film was not in IMDB. I could not find the actresses or director on imdb. Unless it’s just a series of slurs, I’m going to pretty lenient and hopeful. The filmmaker has no subscribers and is doing this for the love of the art. My fingers are crossed! A single mom and her friend are unlucky in love and have a budding romance. During their mundane conversation, the mother’s daughter is screaming like a demon. There are a number of signs of evil presence. Since there was not a conclusion, I believe that this short was a pitch for funding for a feature length film. When Hulu makes a faux short film, it’s very annoying, but Stacey Ellis is trying hard to get her art off of the ground and I wish her the best. Yes, I’ve gone soft.
It is fun to review a Chris McInroy short film. They are great horror comedy with copious gore. The actors are obviously friends of his that know how to deliver a joke. Chris also knows how to use a brief silence for a bigger laugh. He’s the Anti-Alex Magana. If you watch more than two Alex Magana films in one sitting, you wonder if humankind should really keep going. Whereas, these are a pleasure to watch and review. Side note the amount of blood and gore are Sam Raimi levels.
Two bros are meeting a fellow bro for kickball, but their comrade has joined a satanic cult. Here’s the twist, all of the cultist are terrible at their job. What is refreshing is that there are no Mary Sues or Mike Sues- EVERYONE in this cult is a moron! Black, white, asian, libertarian, or vegetarian ALL are equally stupid and it is hilarious! There is a kickball decapitation that is priceless! I highly recommend this short!
This is an example of a perfect short film! Sometimes life is just awful and you find that Hell has sub-basements. I am currently in the next to last sub-basement; yes, it really is that bad. At times like that, Richard Morgan, the author of Altered Carbon wrote “You take what’s offered….sometimes you just need to get to the next screen.” Working with Jigsaw was one of those moments for me. It was funny enough to make my brain take a brief break and allow me to laugh. Trust me, if a film is funny enough to make me laugh at this time in my life, you might literally pee your pants or poo or pee/poo them. What I am trying say is that you should wear your peeing yourself pants while watching this and then shower- Don’t be gross!
Thanks Al
The plot is right in the title and you get what you were promised. You know you have something special when the writer and director know that 3 minutes and 43 seconds is actually longer that you think. Why is that important? It is critical to have the time awareness because it frees the short film director to use silence to set up a reaction. In this film, the silences set up the punchlines, but it a straight horror short it allows for suspense, payoff, and even to have a moment to care about the characters. Most of the shorts I watch are either pitches in disguise or worse they don’t use their time wisely to make you care that the characters are in peril.
Working with Jigsaw pulls together the concept of a malevolent force being awful at work. Jigsaw is constantly interfering with people’s work to make them play his non-lethal but horribly annoying games. The HR scene at the end is film gold!
I really can’t say enough nice things about this short. Both writers got jobs working for Jimmy Kimmel after this short, which fills with rare joy! I hope they continue to make short films and feature length comedies- they are truly gifted artists!
You’re not that bad because Alex Magana makes films. He’s like how Alabama can look down on Mississippi. It has been a Horrorthon tradition that I review his “art”, but it is difficult. 1 Million people watched this short, which tells me that WE NEED A DRAFT! Being an Alex Magana fan is like being proud of your artisanal meth pipe or bragging about doing a TED talk about the THIRD time you got gonorrhea. I do have to admit that his film does have beginning middle and an end; so, it is a short film. Someone has to review it and who else would do this to themselves, but me????
The Teacher begins with two teens warning each other that if they don’t finish their homework, The Teacher will kill them. One of them does not finish her homework; so, she gets killed by the eponymous Teacher. I do have to admit that for Alex this is good because unlike the Smiling Woman crapfest, The Teacher has rules and a Strumplepeter message. Therefore, it does have some literary ancestry. It is still awful, but not as awful as what he usually does to us. It’s like a jab to the eyes rather than his usual Mortal Kombat finishing move to the eyes. Enjoy…I guess.
