Retro Television Reviews: Class of ’63 (dir by John Korty)

Posted on September 3, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay. Today’s film is 1973’s Class of ’63! It can be viewed on YouTube!

It’s college reunion time! Alumni of all ages and from all over the country are returning to the place where they became adults and spent the best years of their lives.

Joe Hart (James Brolin), of the Class of ’63, returns to the campus but he immediately feels like a bit like an outsider. As opposed to his former classmates, many of whom are desperately trying to recapture their fading youth, Joe is quiet and sensitive and he’s aware of the passage of time. He hasn’t come back to college so that he can relive his carefree fraternity days. Instead, his main interest is whether or not his former fiancée will be there.

And it turns out that Louise Swerner (Joan Hackett) is there! She’s accompanied by her husband and fellow member of the Class 0f 63, Mickey Swerner (Cliff Gorman). From the minute that Mickey appears, it’s obvious that he has both a chip on his shoulder and a lot of insecurity. He is visibly annoyed when people fail to immediately recognize him. He and Louise have a strained marriage and he’s not particularly happy with how excited she is to see Joe again. While Mickey tries to convince everyone that he’s grown up to be a winner, Louise and Joe get reacquainted and it becomes obvious that they still love each other. Will Louise and Joe leave the reunion together and should they be more concerned with the fact that Mickey just happens to have a sniper rifle in his luggage? And what to make of Dave McKay (Ed Lauter), the former classmate who seems to be just a little bit too excited to see everyone?

It’s an interesting film and I have to say that it didn’t quite go the direction that I was expecting it to. Despite the presence of the rifle and Mickey’s obvious instability, the film is less a thriller and more a look at what it means to grow up and the difficulty of letting go of the past. None of the characters are caricatures. Joe and Louise may seem perfect together but the film makes clear that they’re also idealizing their time together. With neither one of them really happy with their current life, they’ve both fallen into the trap of wondering, “What if?” Meanwhile, Mickey may be flawed but it’s impossible not to have some sympathy for him. As hostile as Cliff can be, it’s obvious that the person that he hates the most is himself and Cliff Gorman does a good job of capturing Mickey’s raging insecurity. Gorman’s intensity provides a good balance to Brolin’s more laid back performance and, by the end of the film, one can understand why and how Louise was able to fall in love with two men who superficially seem to be so different.

Class of ’63 is a good drama, one that requires a little patience but which ultimately rewards the audience for sticking with it.

Cleaning Out The DVR: To Kill A Stepfather (dir by Peter Sullivan)

Posted on September 3, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As with so many Lifetime films, To Kill A Stepfather opens with a murder.

Matthew (Dan Golden) is a pillar of his small town’s community. He’s well-liked by all and he’s renowned for the way his voice sounds whenever he sings with the choir. His wife, Kate (Elyse Mirto), is a bit less popular with the community but everyone agrees that Matthew has been good as stepfather to her daughter, Riley (Kelly McCart).

Of course, Riley is not Kate’s only daughter. Nicole (Alex Camacho) is a high-priced defense attorney who left home a long time ago and who has never really made peace with her memories of her mother being an alcoholic. Nicole barely knows Matthew. She’s been too busy pursuing her career to keep up with what’s happening at her former home. Nicole is one of those lawyers who gets yelled at by strangers because so many of her clients are guilty. Now, of course, Nicole’s job is to defend her clients. Guilty or not, anyone accused of a crime is entitled to representation and the job of a defense attorney is to serve as their client’s advocate and help them make their way through the complexities of the American legal system. In other words, Nicole is doing her job. Get off her back, people!

One night, Matthew and Kate’s neighbors hear an argument coming from their house. Inside the house, someone shoves Matthew down a flight of stairs and kills him. When the police arrest Kate for the crime, Riley calls the only attorney that she knows, her older sister Nicole. Nicole returns to her hometown and discovers that, even in jail and desperately needing an attorney, her mother still isn’t happy to see her. Indeed, Kate even says that she would prefer a different lawyer but Nicole takes one look at the ambulance chaser who has been assigned to the case and declares that she’s taking over her mother’s defense.

Apparently, this film was inspired by a true story but it plays out like a typical Lifetime courtroom drama. That’s not a complaint, of course. The familiarity is one of the things that people love about Lifetime movies. From the minute that Nicole meets Kate in prison, the viewer will suspect that they know where the story is heading but that’s okay. The destination is less important than the journey and the journey is enjoyably melodramatic. Alex Camacho and Kelly McCart are instantly believable as sisters and Elyse Mirto gives a good performance as the mother who wants to hold onto her secrets, even if they mean possibly going to prison. In the end, the important thing is that the film embraces the melodrama. That’s really the main thing that we ask from our Lifetime films.

That said, I was kind of amused by how “slick” all of the attorneys in the film were. I’ve worked as an administrative assistant in a law office. I’ve known a few lawyers. I’ve been to the courthouses. Attorneys are usually the most shabbily-dressed people in the courthouse and, usually, they’re juggling way too much to have time to stand around and exchange snarky bon mots. But again, one doesn’t watch a legal drama on Lifetime because they’re looking for a realistic portrait of the American legal system. On Lifetime, all lawyers are perfectly dressed and have not a hair out of place and that’s more than alright.

A Blast From The Past: How To Keep A Job

Posted on September 3, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Just in time for the Labor Day, here’s a short film from 1949 about How To Keep A Job!

Edward is kind of a dummy. He goes to a job interview and spends the whole time not only trashing his former employer but also trying to avoid admitting that he was fired from his previous job. Fortunately, the man interviewing him can tell that Edward still has potential, despite the fact that he’s kind of a squirmy idiot.

The interviewer tells Edward the story of twin brothers who worked in shipping. One brother was smart and responsible and always a good worker. That bother is now on the verge of being promoted. The other brother, Walter, was irresponsible and more concerned with getting ready for a date than actually doing his job. The message would seem to be that Edward is running the risk of turning into Walter but wait a minute! There’s a twist!

This is certainly an earnest short film. Of course, when seen today, it’s more goofy than educational. I have to admit that films like this always used to make me feel guilty because they’re like, “You must follow these exact steps to get and keep a job,” and I’m over here like, “Or you can just wait for a friend of your mom’s to give you a job!” But anyway, here’s How To Keep A Job!

Here’s The Latest Trailer For The Nun II!

Posted on September 3, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here is the latest trailer for The Nun II, which will be opening at the end of this upcoming week. Try to control your excitement as we get a second chapter in the least interesting of the various Conjuring spin-offs.

September Positivity: A Town Called Parable (dir by Scott Hester)

Posted on September 2, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In 2021’s A Town Called Parable, Eric Roberts plays Reverend John Corell. He’s a pastor who lives in a small frontier town called Parable. It’s a town that’s full of gunslingers, gamblers, and businessmen. It’s the Old West, as long as you’re willing to overlook the fact that most of the characters have modern haircuts and wear clothes that look like they were purchased from the neighborhood costume shop.

John Corell is having a crisis of faith, due to the fact that some gunslingers gunned down his brother in the middle of the night. Corell is not sure how he can possibly be expected to forgive the men that killed his brother. He wants revenge but he knows that seeking revenge will mean rejecting everything that he believes in.

Now, to be honest, the idea of Eric Roberts playing a morally conflicted, old west preacher-turned-gunfighter actually does have some potential and I was totally looking forward to the sight of Roberts walking down a dusty street and demanding that his enemies “Draw!” Unfortunately, the majority of that potential is unrealized. The film only runs for a little over 70 minutes and most of Eric Roberts’s scenes feature him performing a monologue in his church. As Corell speaks, he remembers things that have happened to other citizens of Parable. Needless to say, there’s a lesson to be found in every flashback. The town isn’t called Parable for nothing.

For instance, Corell remembers the starving man who kept knocking at everyone’s door until he finally found someone willing to give him some food. He remembers the widow who kept demanding that the sheriff do something about the men who killed her husband and how she refused to stop demanding until justice was served. He also remembers the drunken employee who was forgiven once by his employer but who didn’t change his ways and who was savagely beaten as a result. (His wife and child were also sold to the highest bidder …. YIKES!) The stories all roughly correspond to a Biblical parable but, at the same time, they don’t offer up much of a solution as to what Corell should do when the men who killed his brother gather outside of his church.

It’s a disappointing film and one that does not take advantage of the presence of Eric Roberts. I mean, if you can actually convince Eric Roberts to spend more than day on your set, you need to do something more with him than just have him pace around one location. Fortunately, there are other Eric Roberts westerns out there that make better use of his unique talents.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

A Blast From The Past: Maintaining Classroom Discipline

Posted on September 2, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Since this is Labor Day weekend, it seems like an appropriate time to share a short film about one of our most valuable professions, teaching.

In 1947’s Maintaining Classroom Discipline, Mr. Grimes is a Math teacher who is disappointed in his stupid, stupid students. How should he deal with them? This short film gives us two options. The first half of the film (which, if we’re going to be honest, is the more fun half of the film), Mr. Grimes is hard-nosed and sarcastic, telling the students that he’s very disappointed in them and giving them all detention when they make fun of him. (One of them even misses football practice!) This approach does not work and, instead, leads to montage of Mr. Grimes giving detention to student after student. One student is kicked out of class and told not to return until he’s ready to apologize. I mean, seriously, Mr. Grimes is basically telling him that he can just leave the school if he wants.

The second half of the film features Mr. Grimes instead being polite about the low test score and patiently explaining to his students how ratio works. When one student tries to make fun of Mr. Grimes, the entire class rolls their eyes. Earth-2 Mr. Grimes is a good teacher and his class would die for him!

Personally, if I was a teacher, I have no idea how I would maintain discipline. I’d probably just make sure that my classroom was near the principal’s office so I can pull him in whenever I wanted to. To me, the worst thing about giving a student detention isn’t the fact that the student will resent you for it but that apparently, you’re required to stick around until detention has been served. Seriously, I enjoy working and all but I also like going home.

Anyway, let’s all learn from Mr. Grimes, shall we?

Here’s The Trailer For Saltburn!

Posted on September 2, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here’s the trailer for Saltburn, Emerald Fennell’s first film since her Oscar-nominated Promising Young Woman. In this film, Barry Keoghan (who was so good in The Banshees of Inisherin) plays an awkward student at Oxford who becomes obsessed with his aristocratic classmate (Jacob Elordi). Keoghan, Elordi, Fennell, and the film itself are all expected to be potential Oscar contenders.

The trailer certainly has a creepy vibe to it.

Live Tweet Alert: Watch The Deeper You Dig with #ScarySocial

Posted on September 2, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on twitter. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, for #ScarySocial, Deanna Dawn will be hosting 2019’s The Deeper You Dig!

If you want to join us on Saturday night, just hop onto twitter, start the film at 9 pm et, and use the #ScarySocial hashtag! The film is available on Prime. I’ll probably be there and I imagine some other members of the TSL Crew will be there as well. It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

A Blast From The Past: The Secretary’s Day

Posted on September 1, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Since we are entering the Labor Day weekend, this seems like a good time to share a blast from the past that comes us all the way from 1947.

In The Secretary’s Day, viewers are told and shown what it takes to be a secretary. Do you know how to take dictation? Do you know how to carefully open up letters? Do you know how to be courteous to random people who wander into the office? More importantly, do you know how to make sure that Marge the Stenographer never gets into her head to try to seal your job away from you?

I watched this short film with a bit more interest than usual because I actually have worked as an administrative assistant in the past. Watching the film’s lead character obsess over her desk calendar brought back some memories but I think that just has more to do with the fact that I’m obsessed with calendars than anything else. To me, the main message of this film seemed to be, “A secretary’s day is pretty dull but at least she can bully the stenographer.”

Anyway, here’s a trip back to 1947! The war is over, the Great Depression was now a memory, and Americans, flush with victory, were looking for jobs! Check out The Secretary’s Day!

The TSL Grindhouse: Project Shadowchaser (dir by John Eyres)

Posted on September 1, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 1992 film, Project Shadowchaser, takes place in the near future. It’s a time when cyborgs are a common sight and criminals are frozen and sent to a cryogenic prison. At the same time, it’s close enough to the present that the FBI is still America’s main law enforcement agency and the President is still a powerful enough figure that terrorists would want to abduct his daughter. It’s also close enough to the present that terrorists are still learning how to do their job from watching Die Hard.

Romulus (Frank Zagarino) is a cyborg who takes a hospital hostage, all to track down the president’s daughter, Sarah (Meg Foster). The FBI feels that only the hospital’s architect, Mr. Dixon, can figure out the best way for the FBI’s strike force to enter the hospital. Unfortunately, Mr. Dixon broke the law and has been put on deep freeze. When the stoner who runs the cryogenic prison is told to thaw out Mr. Dixon, he screws up and accidentally unfreezes DeSilva (Martin Kove), a former football quarterback.

Knowing a good thing when he sees it, DeSilva pretends to be Dixon but, once he and the strike force enter the building, it become apparent that DeSilva/Dixon has no idea what he’s talking about. All of the members of the strike force are killed when an elevator explodes. Only DeSilva survives and now, whether he wants to or not, he’s going to have to battle the terrorists and save the President’s daughter! It’s a good thing that she’s a football fan.

What a dumb movie this turned out to be! Seriously, you can add all of the sci-fi elements to your Die Hard rip-off that you want to, a Die Hard rip-off is still a Die Hard rip-off and it’s hard to think of any other film (with the possible exception of No Contest) that so slavishly follows the Die Hard formula. There’s nothing particularly surprising to be found in Project Shadowchaser. The minute that Kinderman (Joss Ackland) shows up and declares that he’s taking over the operation from FBI agent Trevanian (Paul Koslo), it’s obvious that he’s going to turn out to be the one behind Romulus’s actions. And from the minute that DeSilva meets Sarah, it’s obvious that they’re destined to fall in love.

I like Martin Kove on Cobra Kai and Kove brings a similar self-awareness to his role as DeSilva. At times, Kove appears to almost be winking at the audience, as if he’s saying, “Hey, I can’t believe I’m in this movie either. What are you going to do?” Unfortunately, Kove often seems to be the only person in the film who is really in on the joke. Needless to say, Project Shadowchaser is no Cobra Kai.

That said, I did appreciate the fact that the film’s entire plot hinged on a government employee accidentally unfreezing the wrong guy. As a portrait of bureaucratic incompetence, Project Shadowchaser works perfectly. I mean, let’s be honest. If there ever was a cryogenic prison, the wrong people would probably be getting unfrozen all the time. No one’s going to keep track of who is in which pod.