Category Archives: Film Review

What Lisa Watched Last Night #202: Erasing His Dark Past (dir by Jared Cohn)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I turned over to the Lifetime Movie Channel and I watched Erasing His Dark Past.

Why Was I Watching It?

So, October isn’t even over yet and Lifetime has already decided that they’re going to start with the Christmas movies!  That’s right — the next two months are just going to be Christmas cheer on my favorite channel!  And listen, I love Christmas.  You know that about me.  I love any holiday that involves me getting presents!  But seriously, it’s too soon for the Christmas movies!

So, instead of watching a Christmas movie last night, I switched over the Lifetime Movie Network and I got caught up with Erasing His Dark Past.

(Don’t worry, everyone!  The holiday spirit will possess me soon and I’ll happily be watching every Christmas movie on Lifetime!)

What Was It About?

David (Michael Welch) has a dark past and he needs to erase it!  What better way to do that than to disappear after a plane crash?

Everyone thinks that David is dead but his wife, Karen (Lauren Fortier), has her doubts.  Those doubts turn out to be justified when she discovers that David had all sorts of weird financial stuff going on.  By vanishing (or dying or whatever he did), he’s basically left Karen broke and in a lot of trouble.  Was David just bad with money or was it all a part of his criminal scheme?

And could it be that David may have had a ….. second family!?

What Worked?

Micheal Welch did a good job as David, I thought.  He came across as being sinister enough to fake his own death and charismatic enough to pull it off.

Fans of the classic film To Kill A Mockingbird will want to keep an eye out for Scout herself, Mary Badham, playing a sympathetic bank employee.

What Did Not Work?

There have been several Lifetime films about husbands faking their own death and running off to their second family.  In fact, it’s become a bit of cliche that you should never trust a husband in a Lifetime film.  Unfortunately, as a result, there was really no shock in discovering that David wasn’t actually dead.  We knew it was going to happen as soon as he first appeared.  To a certain extent, their predictability is one of the things that make Lifetime films enjoyable but still, it was a little bit to easy to see the direction in which Erasing His Dark Past was heading.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments

This was one of those rare films where there really weren’t any “Oh my God!  Just like me!” moments.  I’ve never been married so I’ve never had to deal with a husband faking his own death and running off with all of my money.  I guess I should consider myself lucky in that regard.

Lessons Learned

If there’s no body, there’s no proof.

Horror Film Review: Interview With The Vampire (dir by Neil Jordan)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Oh, poor Claudia.

There are a lot of vampires and other cursed beings wandering through the 1994 film adaptation of Interview With A Vampire but Claudia (Kisten Dunst) is the only one for whom I have any sympathy.

Louis (Brad Pitt) may be the main character and the vampire giving the interview but it’s hard to have much sympathy for him.  He’s just such a whiny little bitch.  The Louisiana aristocrat is transformed into a vampire in 1791 and basically spends the next 200 years complaining about it.  You want to have sympathy for him but sometimes, you just have to accept stuff and move on.  It doesn’t help that Brad Pitt, who has always given his best performances when cast as men of action, is somewhat miscast as the effete and self-loathing Louis.

Lestat (Tom Cruise) may be the most charismatic of the vampires but he’s never exactly sympathetic.  He turns Louis into a vampire and then spends years following him across Louisiana and Europe.  Lestat is decadence personified and he never whines and, as a result, he’s far more enjoyable to spend time with than Louis.  Cruise is as perfectly cast as Lestat as Pitt was miscat as Louis.  Lestat is a star and Tom Cruise has always been one of the few true movie stars around.  That said, Lestat is still far too self-indulgent and thoughtlessly self-destructive to really be a sympathetic character.  Instead, he’s like Lord Byron, destroying happy families but at least writing a poem about it afterwards.

Armand (Antonio Banderas) runs the Théâtre des Vampires in Paris and he becomes Louis’s companion for a time.  Louis is charismatic because he’s played by Antonio Banderas but, ultimately, he proves to be a rather ineffectual leader.  Armand puts on a good show but, in the end, that’s all he has to offer.  He’s a bit shallow, despite all of the theatrics.

Santiago (Stephen Rea) isn’t sympathetic at all but at least he really seems to get into being evil.  Good for him!

And then there’s Daniel Malloy (Christian Slater), the journalist who conducts the interview with Louis.  In the film, Malloy starts out as a cynic, the type of writer who theatrically pours himself a glass of whiskey before dramatically turning to his typewriter.  All he needs is a fedora with a press pass tucked into the headband.  It’s difficult to take him seriously.

But then there’s Claudia.  Poor Claudia.  In the book, Claudia was only five years old when she was turned into a vampire.  In the movie, she’s played by 12 year-old Kirsten Dunst and it’s left ambiguous as to how young Claudia actually was when Lestat turned her into a vampire, though it’s still made clear that was too young to be cursed without her consent.  Claudia becomes Lestat and Louis’s companion.  Louis treats her like the daughter that he will never have.  Lestart treats her like an apprentice, teaching her how to kill.  Claudia grows up but is forever trapped in the body of a child.  It’s impossible not to feel sorry for Claudia, who never asked to become a vampire, who indeed was just turned so that Lestat could use her as a pawn to keep control of Louis.  Claudia spends a good deal of the movie in a rage and who can blame her?

Interview With A Vampire is a messy and uneven film.  Brad Pitt is miscast and the whole film is oddly paced, with the New Orleans scenes taking too long and the Paris scenes going by almost too quickly.  At the same time, Tom Cruise brings the proper joie de mort to the role of Lestat and Claudia and her fate will simply break your heart.  Interview With The Vampire is not the best vampire movie that I’ve ever seen but it definitely has its pleasures.

Horror on the Lens: The Failing of Raymond (dir by Boris Sagal)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Raymond (Dean Stockwell) has just escaped from a mental hospital and he has only one thing on his mind.  Raymond wants revenge.  Having looked over the past events of his life, Raymond has figured out that things started to go downhill for him when he failed a test in high school.  He blames his failure on his old teacher, Mary Bloomquist (Jane Wyman).

At the same time that Raymond is escaping, Mary is planning her retirement.  She’s decided that she no longer wants to teach.  The job just doesn’t seem worth it anymore.  But Raymond has other ideas.  Raymond wants her to give him the same test that he failed ten years before.  And this time, Raymond wants her to pass him or else.

The Failing of Raymond is a made-for-TV movie from 1971 and it features a good performance from Jane Wyman and a great one from Dean Stockwell.  The film ultimately hinges on one question.  Did Raymond really fail that test or did Mary fail Raymond?

Enjoy!

The TSL’s Horror Grindhouse: Puppet Master (dir by David Schmoeller)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Since there’s been like 200 Puppet Master films made over the past 30 years — goddamn, 30 years of killer puppets! — I figured that maybe I should finally sit down and actually watch one of them.  I decided to go with the original film that started the entire franchise, 1989’s Puppet Master!

So, basically, this is a movie about little puppets that kill full-sized people.  Obviously, there’s a bit more to the plot but let’s be honest.  No one who watches this movie is going to be watching it for the specifics of the plot.  They’re going to be watching it because they want to see tiny puppets go on a rampage.  I have to say that the puppets themselves are pretty cute.  I mean, they’re murderous and a little bit pervy but they’re still really cute.  I understand that all of the puppets have their own specific names but, while watching the film, I just made up names of my own.

For instance, there’s Hooky, who has a hook for one hand and a knife for the other and looks like he should be the lead singer of an aging Prog Rock band.  And then there’s Drilly, who has a drill on his head.  He can be really dangerous, especially if you’re stupid enough to crawl around on the floor and just stay there, on all fours, while he’s running straight at you.  I mean, if you just stood up, you probably wouldn’t get that badly injured but …. well, what do I know, right?  And then there’s Leechy, who is a female puppet who spits up leeches.  What’s interesting is that she never runs out of leeches but I have to wonder, if you have that many leeches, why not just send them out on their own instead of stuffing them all into some poor little puppet?  I felt bad for Leechy.  She seemed kinda sad.  And then there’s Handy, who has big hands and Facey, who can assume several different facial expressions at once.  They’re all really adorable, to be honest.

Anyway, Puppet Master is about a bunch of psychics who all spend the night in a California hotel that was once home to the “last alchemist,” Andre Toulon (William Hickey).  Toulon had the power to bring inanimate creatures — like puppets! — too life but, when the Nazi spies were closes in on him, Toulon killed himself.  Many years later, a psychic named Neil Gallagher (Jimmie F. Skaggs) discovered Toulon’s hiding place in the hotel but then shot himself as well.  So now, Neil’s former colleagues are all trying to get Toulon’s power for themselves.  Or something.  As I said, following the plot is not always easy.  The main appeal here is watching the cute puppets do really bad things.

That said, who knew that a group of psychics and witches would prove to be so stupid?  I mean, you would think that — when all of you are having constant premonitions of death and destruction — you would be smart enough to take extra precautions or maybe just leave the hotel all together.  For instance, Dana (Irene Miracle) casts a protection spell over someone else but not on herself.  Meanwhile, Frank (Matt Roe) and Clarissa (Kathryn O’Reilly) make the rookie mistake of having sex in a horror film while our nominal hero, Alex (Paul Le Mat, looking like he’s trying to figure out how he went from American Graffiti to this), wanders around in a daze.

And yet, watching the film, I could see why it became so popular.  The puppets are memorable and well-designed and the backstory, with Toulon and all the rest, is actually pretty interesting.  Puppet Master is one of those films that defines “stupid but fun.”  No wonder the puppets came back!

Email of the Damned: Paranoia (1998, directed by Larry Brand)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Interior designer Jana Mercer (Brigitte Bako) is haunted by the night that her entire family was murdered by serial killer, Calvin Hawks (Larry Drake).  Even though Calvin was captured and imprisoned, she still fears that someday he’ll get out.  Calvin, meanwhile, feels that he and Jana have a special bond because he decided to allow her to live.  From his prison cell, he follows her life via the internet.  He even sends her messages, which doesn’t do much for her state of mind.  Finally, a former neighbor of hers invites her to return to her old neighborhood so that she can confront her fears.  However, after serving 20 years in prison, Calvin has been released for good behavior.  As a part of his parole, he is not allowed to go anywhere near Jana or any of the scenes of his crimes.  Soon after getting released, Calvin decides to violate his probation.  A serial killer violating probation?  Who would have guessed?

Paranoia raises a few questions.  What type of prison would allow a serial killer to have a laptop in his cell and access to the internet, let alone send out messages unsupervised?  What type of legal system would sentence a serial killer to only 20 years in prison?  Why wouldn’t the authorities make any effort to let Jana, as the sole survivor of Calvin’s crimes, know that Calvin is about to be released from prison?  Why would Jana, a recluse who says she is incapable of trusting people, be so quick to accept an invitation to go to the country with someone that she barely knows?  It makes no sense but the movie still somehow maintains enough suspense to work.

The best thing about Paranoia are the performances of Brigitte Bako and Larry Drake.  Bako, who was one of the best of the 90s direct-to-video stars, brings some needed sass to the role of Jana while Larry Drake was a B-movie veteran who always made a good villain.  Larry Brand, who also did Overexposed and The Drifter, wrote and directed Paranoia and, just as he did in those two previous films, Brand includes a lot of pop cultural references.  It’s not every day that you see a direct-to-video B-movie that includes an inside joke about The Dick Van Dyke Show.  Brand and his cast bring some unexpected style to the nonsensical story.

Watching Paranoia today, it’s hard not to get nostalgic.  With a plot that hinges on email almost as much as the plot of Sleepless in Seattle, it’s a 90s film, through and through.  They don’t make them like this anymore.

Scenes That I Love: In Heaven, Everything Is Fine From Eraserhead

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

From David Lynch’s 1977 film, Eraserhead.

Just a reminder that, “In Heaven, everything is fine.”

And Heaven is apparently behind your radiator.

“But Lisa, what is the scene about?”

Well, according to Lynch, the whole movie is “a dream of dark and disturbing things.”  Is that woman really living behind Jack Nance’s radiator and singing that everything is fine, despite the fact that there’s also a mutant baby in the apartment?  She may be.  Or she might just be a figment of someone’s imagination.

Perhaps it’s best not to worry too much about the how’s and the why’s.

Never stop dreaming.

International Horror Film Review: Zombie Lake (dir by “J.A. Lazer”)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Oh, Zombie Lake!

I approach this 1981 Spanish-French film with some trepidation because, while it’s undeniably one of the best known of Eurocine’s low-budget horror films, it was also directed by one of my favorite directors and, by most accounts, it was not an experience that he particularly enjoyed being asked about.  He did not care for this film and (spoiler alert) his name was not J.A. Lazer.

In fact, for several years, it was assumed that this film was actually directed by Jess Franco.  And while it’s true that Franco was originally hired to direct Zombie Lake, he left the project because he said the budget was too low to execute his vision.  Consider that.  A budget too low for Jess Franco!  Franco left the project and went on to direct Oasis of the Zombies.  Apparently, the film’s producers did not understand that Franco had actually left the project because, on the first day of shooting, they were shocked to discover that they didn’t have a director.  In a panic, they called another fiercely independent horror director and asked him to come direct the film.  Jean Rollin agreed.

By his own account, Rollin only had a few days to prepare for shooting and since he had already made a classic zombie film called The Grapes of Death, he didn’t worry too much about trying to do anything too spectacular with Zombie Lake.  He simply filmed whatever scenes were required for the day, played the minor role of doomed police inspector, and, six days later, Zombie Lake had been filmed.

As for the film itself, it takes place in a French village that appears to be exclusively populated by cranky old men and naked young women.  There’s a lake nearby.  Despite seeing (and tossing aside) a big sign with a skull and crossbones on it, one of the naked women decides to go for a swim.  This apparently awakens the green Nazi zombies who lives at the bottom of the lake.  Soon, the zombies are randomly emerging from the lake and killing villagers.  The town’s mayor (Howard Vernon, of all people) is concerned.

It all links back to World War II, when the members of the French Resistance (led by the mayor) gunned down a squad of Nazis and dumped their bodies in the lake.  Somehow, this led to the Nazis coming back as zombies.  One of the Nazis had a daughter with a French woman shortly before he was killed.  Despite the fact that he was killed in 1943 and the movie clearly takes place in 1980, his daughter is only 12 years old.  That’s the type of film that Zombie Lake is.

Watching the film, you can tell why Rollin wasn’t particularly interested in claiming any credit for it.  It’s a messy film, largely because the green zombie makeup keeps washing off whenever the zombies have to emerge from the waters of the lake.  As for the lake itself, the underwater scenes were clearly shot in a swimming pool.  Beyond that, there’s not really any logic as to why the zombies keep emerging from the lake.  Whenever it’s plot convenient, the zombies suddenly emerge and attack anyone who has recently undressed.

Howard Vernon in Zombie Lake

And yet, there are some good things about Zombie Lake.  (Shut up, there are too!)  For instance, it’s kind of charming how each actor cast as a zombie brings their own interpretation to the role.  Some of them walk slowly with their arms outstretched.  Others move a little bit stiffly with a thousand yard stare.  Some of them just casually stroll around, doing their business.  As well, we’re so used to assuming that any character played by Howard Vernon is going to be decadent and sleazy that it’s kind of fun to see him playing an outright hero here.  Finally, even the frequent nudity is so gratuitous that it actually become rather humorous.  One could easily use Zombie Lake to play a drinking game.  Whenever anyone takes off their top, drink!

Finally, even though this was clearly just a film he did for the money, there are a few instances where Rollin’s signature style manage to peak through.  For instance, when we first see the Mayor’s office, the camera lingers on all of the historical artifacts on the wall.  The fact that one of the zombies has cloudy memories of his former lover and only wants to see his daughter actually works a lot better than you might expect, largely because that seems to be the only storyline that Rollin — with his fascination with memory and history — seems to really care about.

Zombie Lake is a mess and certainly not representative of Rollin’s best (or more personal) films.  But I still kind of like it.

Film Review: The Gorgon (dir by Terence Fisher)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Medusa, who is probably the best-known of the Gorgons who haunt Greek mythology, is a scary creation.

That may seem like a rather obvious statement to make but seriously, let’s consider just how scary Medusa is.  First off, there’s the fact that her hair is made out of snakes.  Snakes are frightening in general.  The other day, Doc caught a grass snake and tried to give it to me by dropping it at my feet.  I have never been quicker to jump away from a cat.  It’s not just Texas grass snakes that frighten me, though.  There’s the rattlesnakes that I used to see when my family was living in New Mexico.  There’s the water moccasin that I once saw swimming in Boggy Creek when I was up in Arkansas.  I’m pretty sure that I once saw a cobra slithering through downtown Denton but all of my friends insist that it was just a water hose that somebody left out.  Well, no matter!  Snakes are scary on their own but they’re even scarier when they’re growing out of someone’s head!

And then there’s the fact that if you look at Medusa or any of her sisters, you turn to stone!  I mean, it just takes one look and boom!  You’re a statue!  I imagine the process of transforming would feel terrible.  Can you even imagine?  Even worse would be someone trying to move your body and accidentally dropping you.  I mean, you could lose a finger!  I guess it wouldn’t matter since you would be dead but still, that would totally suck to lose a finger that way.

First released in 1964 and having since achieved a certain immortality based on frequent TCM showings, The Gorgon is a production of Hammer Film.  The usual Hammer monsters are replaced by Mageara (played by Prudence Hyman), a Gorgon who has somehow found herself in a typical, isolated Hammer village.  Neither Dracula nor Baron von Frankenstein are present in this film, though the actors who played them do have roles.  Christopher Lee is Prof. Karl Meister.  Peter Cushing is Dr. Namaroff.  Together, they solve crimes and hunt the monsters!

Villagers are getting turned to stone and innocent artists are being condemned to die.  We know that it’s all due to the Gorgon but it takes everyone else in the film a while to figure it out.  For instance, Paul (Richard Pasco) has to dig up his father’s grave in order to be convinced that the old man died from being turned to stone.  At first, the only person who truly seems to believe in the Gorgon is Namaroff’s assistant, Carla (played by Hammer films regular, Barbara Shelley).  By the end of the film, of course, everyone knows that Gorgons are real!  Of course, almost everyone has been turned to stone, as well.  Even by the standards of Hammer, the body county is high and the monster is merciless in The Gorgon.

It’s an effective Hammer film, though it’s never quite as much fun as Hammer’s Dracula or Frankenstein films.  The Gorgon takes itself perhaps a tad too seriously but, at the same time, you have to love any film that features both Lee and Cushing working together for once, as opposed to trying to kill each other.  Christopher Lee especially seems to be enjoying himself as Dr. Namaroff.  Lee reportedly grew quickly tired of playing Dracula and his joy of having a different type of role is palpable and perhaps the most likable thing about The Gorgon.  As for the Gorgon herself, she’s properly frightening.  I mean, she has snakes in her hair, after all.

When this movie last aired on TCM, there were technical difficulties during the last seven minutes of the showing.  The screen went blank and then viewers were treated to several different takes of one of the Gorgon’s victims trying to write a letter as he turned to stone.  It kind of freaked everyone out, to be honest.  Had the Gorgons taken over TCM?  Fortunately, order was restored in time for everyone to watch Plague of the Zombies.  Thankfully, things worked out.

Horror on the Lens: Gargoyles (dir by Bill Norton)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

For today’s horror on the lens, we have a made-for-TV monster movie from 1972, Gargoyles!

What happens when a somewhat condescending anthropologist (Cornel Wilde) and his daughter (Jennifer Salt) head out to the desert?  Well, they stop by a crazy old man’s shack so that they can look at his genuine monster skeleton.  Before Wilde can thoroughly debunk the old man’s claims, the shack is attacked by real monsters!

That’s right!  Gargoyles exist and they apparently live in Arizona!

(And, hey, why wouldn’t gargoyles live in Arizona?  I mean, they have to live somewhere, right? Real estate is not cheap.)

This film was introduced to me by TSL contributor and Late Night Movie Gang founder Patrick Smith and we had an absolute blast watching it.  There’s nothing particularly surprising about the plot but the gargoyles are memorable creations and Bernie Casey gives a good performance as their leader.  The gargoyle makeup was designed by none other than Stan Winston, who won an Emmy for his work here and who went on to win Oscars for his work on Aliens, Terminator 2, and Jurassic Park.

As well, a very young Scott Glenn shows up in the cast.  I like to think that he’s playing the same character in both Gargoyles and Sucker Punch.

Enjoy!

Amanda Returns: Scorned 2 (1997, directed by Rodney McDonald)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Released in 1993 as a part of the 90s Skinemax explosion, Scorned was one of the best of the many films to co-star Andrew and Shannon Tweed.  The story of a vengeful widow (Tweed) hellbent on destroying Stevens’s family proved to be so popular that it was inevitable that there would be a sequel.  Four years later, the mayhem continued in Scorned 2.

Tane McClure takes over Shannon Tweed’s role as Amanda, who has amnesia and can’t remember anything about her previous life as a sex-addicted sociopath.  Amanda is now married to psychology professor Mark Foley (Myles O’Brien) but she’s haunted by nightmares (which are made up of scenes lifted from the first Scorned) that provide clues to her former life.  While Amanda seeks help from a hypnotherapist, her frustrated husband ends up falling for one of his students, Cynthia (Wendy Schumacher).  Cynthia already has a boyfriend but she’s willing to screw a professor if it will help her grades.  When Amanda discovers that Mark is cheating on her, she snaps and reverts back to her old ways as she seeks revenge on everyone who she feels has betrayed her.  Further complicating things is that Alex Weston (Andrew Stevens, reprising his role from the first Scorned) has recently arrived on campus and is seeking revenge for the death of his son.

Scorned 2 was made during the dwindling days of Skinemax, long after the heyday of late night cable’s popularity.  It even featured a scene in which Cynthia’s boyfriend explains how computer passwords work, which is not something that anyone had to worry about when the first Scorned or its many imitators were initially released.  Unfortunately, Shannon Tweed did not reprise her role as Amanda.  Tane McClure was not a bad actress and bore a superficial similarity to Tweed but she just didn’t have Tweed’s ability to make even the stupidest dialogue sound natural.  Andrew Stevens did return but his character is largely wasted.  The real star of the film is Wendy Schumacher, for giving a credible performance while showing how far one student will go to keep up her grades.  Considering the cost of college, can you blame her?  Today, as with many of the films of that era, the main appeal of Scorned 2 is one of nostalgia.