Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.14 “Household Gods”

Posted on April 9, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, we meet a chauvinistic demon.

Episode 3.14 “Household Gods”

(Dir by Michael Warren Powell, originally aired on December 30th, 1990)

Deborah (Deborah Van Valkenburgh) is a married woman who is trying to balance her career with taking care of her baby. No matter how hard Deborah tries to keep it together, it seems like there’s just one household crisis after another and her husband (Jeffrey Ware) doesn’t appear to have any sympathy for her predicament. Deborah hires a nanny (Priscilla Shanks) who tells Deborah that her attitude has upset the Household God, a little misogynistic monster who punishes women who want a life outside of the home. Deborah is skeptical but, this being an episode of Monsters, it turns out the nanny was right. There is a messy and self-centered deity living in her house and he’s going out of his way to make her life difficult. He’s played, under a good deal of makeup, by Michael Anderson, the actor who played “The Man From Another World” on Twin Peaks.

This episode had potential. The idea that there’s a little sexist demon that is responsible for making it so difficult to balance family and career was an intriguing one and also one that was ripe for satire. Tonally, though, this episode never quite came together. This was one of those episodes that couldn’t seem to decide if it wanted to be a comedy or a horrific drama and as a result, it just kind of fell flat. Deborah Van Valkenburgh gave about as good a performance as one could, considering that the show itself often didn’t seem to know how it felt about her character and her predicament. But, for the most part, this episode was a good idea that was poorly executed.

It happens.

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 5.24 “Isaac Gets Physical/She Brought Her Mom Along/Cold Feet”

Posted on April 9, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, horror royalty boards the Love Boat!

Episode 5.24 “Isaac Gets Physical/She Brought Her Mother Along/Cold Feet”

(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on March 20th, 1982)

For this week, and this week only, there’s a new member of the Love Boat crew. Charlene Glover (Shirley Hemphill) is a nurse who has been sent to give every member of the crew a physical in order to make sure that it’s safe for them to work on a cruise ship. Isaac panics because he has high blood pressure and he worries that he’s going to lose his job as a result. This would seem like a good opportunity for the show to share some tips on what to do if you suffer from high blood pressure but instead, the whole storyline is a smitten Charlene chasing Isaac and Isaac trying to change his medical records. It was a bit mean-spirited since most of the laughs came from the idea of Isaac having to get romantic with someone who was overweight in order to keep his job.

(That said, take your blood pressure seriously, everyone. My Dad had high blood pressure his entire life and it was not easy for him.)

Speaking of mean-spirited, Carter Randall (Richard Dean Anderson) is engaged to marry Muffy (Linda Blair …. yes, that Linda Blair) but he’s getting cold feet. So, he starts leaving her messages and making phone calls to her in which he speaks with a fake Southern accent. There are three Texans on the boat and Carter is pretending to be one of them, hoping that Muffy will fall in love with this imaginary person and then break off their marriage …. WHAT A JERK! And yet, somehow, this plan causes Carter to realize how much he does love Muffy and Muffy is totally forgiving when the truth comes out. Seriously, that’s not the Linda Blair that we all know from such classic films as Savage Streets and Chained Heat! What the heck, Linda?

(I should also mention that Carter’s attempt at a Texas accent was terrible. In fact, none of the actors playing the Texans had a convincing accent. For shame, Love Boat, for shame!)

Finally, Millicent (Betsy Palmer) boards the boat with her daughter, Debbie (Connie Needham). Debbie introduces Millicent to her boyfriend and it turns out that Debbie’s dating some guy who is at least twenty years old than her. In fact, Ted (Gene Barry) is so old that he used to date Millicent! Wow, creepy! Anyway, Millicent and Ted realize that they’re still in love so sorry, Debbie. Ted even says he fell in love with Debbie because she reminded him of Millicent. Somehow, Debbie learns all of this without jumping overboard.

As a horror fan, I enjoyed this episode. Gene Barry was in War of the Worlds. Linda Blair was in The Exorcist. Betsy Palmer was the original Mrs. Voorhies. They really should have aired this episode in October. The stories were terrible but I simply can’t resist an episode that featured this much horror royalty.

The Eric Roberts Collection: Raptor (dir by Jim Wynorski)

Posted on April 9, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

In 2001’s Raptor, Eric Roberts stars as Jim Tanner, the sheriff of a small desert town. When the locals start turning up all shredded to heck, Sheriff Tanner suspects that maybe it was an animal attack. When the sheriff’s daughter (Lorissa McComas) witnesses one of the attacks and goes into a coma as a result, Tanner is determined to get justice, even if it means working with his ex-girlfriend, Barbara (Melissa Brasselle).

It turns out that it’s neither coyotes nor bears that are attacking the folks in the desert. Instead, it’s a bunch of dinosaurs that have been brought back into existence by Dr. Hyde (Corbin Bernsen, wearing a beret), a mad scientist who has a laboratory in a secret government installation. When the army realizes that there’s a bunch of mini-dinosaurs roaming the desert, they send in a special taskforce to take care of the problem.

It’s a pretty simple movie and no one in the cast, Roberts included, really seems to be taking it all that seriously. There a few scenes where Corbin Bernsen looks like he’s about to break out laughing at some of his dialogue. Director Jim Wynorski keeps the action moving and tosses in plenty of blood and a little nudity. If you’ve ever seen any of the other films that Wynorski directed for producer Roger Corman, you’ll know what to expect from Raptor.

The dinosaurs are cute. They’re all obviously puppets and there’s a lot of scenes of them moving quickly through the desert with an intense look in their eyes. Apparently, almost all of the dinosaur footage was lifted from the first three Carnosaur films, which perhaps explains why the film suddenly goes from being about Sheriff Tanner trying to protect his town from the dinosaurs to being about a bunch of soldiers hunting for the dinosaurs in Dr. Hyde’s underground lab. It’s cheap but it’s kind of fun, a timewaster that no one should take seriously.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

Song of the Day: Theme From Peter Gunn by Henry Mancini & His Orchestra

Posted on April 9, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today’s song of the day is one that will hopefully help me get a little bit more focused on getting things done. Either that, or it will inspire me to go out and drive really fast. I’ll find out soon enough!

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special French Cinema Edition

Posted on April 9, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 (or more) Shots From 4 (or more) Films is just what it says it is, 4 (or more) shots from 4 (or more) of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 (or more) Shots From 4 (or more) Films lets the visuals do the talking.

Today, on Jean-Paul Belmondo’s birthday, we pay tribute to French cinema! It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 French Films

The Rules of the Games (1939, dir by Jean Renoir, DP: Jean-Paul Alphen, Jean Bachelet, Jacques Lemare, Alain Renoir)

Alphaville (1965, dir by Jean-Luc Godard, DP: Raoul Coutard)

Day For Night (1973, dir by François Truffaut, DP: Pierre-William Glenn)

Night of the Hunted (1980, dir by Jean Rollin)

Scenes That I Love: The Ending of Breathless

Posted on April 9, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Today would have been the 92nd birthday of international screen icon, Jean-Paul Belmondo.

Belmondo spent the majority of his career in France, where he was one of the early faces of the New Wave and also a prominent action star, famed for doing his own very dangerous stunts. In America, he was best-known for his starring turn in Jean-Luc Godard’s Breathless. In Breathless, Belmondo was the perfect existential outlaw, living life day-by-day and obviously doomed but still so incredibly magnetic and stylish.

In tribute to Belmondo, today’s scene that I love is the final moments of Breathless, with Belmondo and Jean Seberg.

Music Video of the Day: Supernova Love by Ive and David Guetta (2024, dir by Ivo Heffner)

Posted on April 9, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s good when a music video takes you places.

Enjoy!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.12 “The Big Spin”

Posted on April 8, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

Bike patrol expands its roster, this week.

Episode 1.12 “The Big Spin”

(Dir by Terrence O’Hara, originally aired on May 18th, 1996)

Bike patrol has a new recruit! Scott Kramer (Richard Joseph Paul) has been a cop for ten years and, for nine of those year, he had a perfect record. But lately, he’s became impulsive and too much of a risk taker. Bike patrol is his last chance! “I run things by the book,” Lt. Palermo says.

Chris is assigned to train Kramer and soon, the two of them are falling for each other. Chris explains that Kramer, like her, is a rebel who breaks the rule. One of the funnier things about Pacific Blue is that Chris is supposed to be a rebel who breaks the rule when she’s nothing of the sort. Instead, she just kind of gets annoyed and pouts every episode.

Anyway, it turns out that Kramer is terminally ill so he doesn’t care if he dies while taking down the two motorcycle bandits who have been robbing people all across town. And that’s a good thing because that’s pretty much what happens. The bandits are captured but bike patrol loses a recruit.

“The last thing he saw was you,” Palmero tells Chris and I think that was supposed to comfort her. Chris nods and then walks along the beach by herself.

Wow, it’s an edgy episode! Well, no, not really. It comes close to being an edgy episode. Richard Joseph Paul gives a pretty good performance as Kramer. But …. come on, folks …. they’re on bicycles! I’m sorry that I keep harping on this and, since this stupid show has like a gillion episodes, I imagine I’ll continue to harp on it in the future but bicycles are not edgy! The first season is nearly over and I still laugh whenever I see the bike cops hearing about a crime on their radio and then going, “Unit whatever responding.” I’m just imagining the dispatcher being like, “Oh no, bike patrol again.” Seriously, everyone on this show always has such a grim expression on their face and they’re determined to catch the bad guys but, again …. bicycles!

Anyway, season one comes to an end next week.

The Eric Roberts Collection: Las Vegas Story (dir by Byron Q)

Posted on April 8, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

2015’s Las Vegas Story tells the story of Maria (Christina Bocanegra), a 30ish single mother with four kids, a house that she has to pay the bills on, and an adorable dog that gives her quizzical looks whenever she leaves for work in the middle of the night.

Maria works as an escort, meeting with men in hotel rooms and collecting enough money to keep her family fed and to prevent the house from falling apart. When her friend and former mentor, a stripper named Izzie (Francesca Fanti), comes to Vegas, Maria allows Izzie to say with her. When another old friend named Doug (Wade-Allain Marcus) shows up, Maria allows him to crash on her couch despite the fact that Doug is a drug dealer and he’s gotten in trouble with some very bad people.

Las Vegas Story has the usual collection of gangsters and corrupt cops that you would expect to find in a film like this but, ultimately, it’s more of a character study than a typical narrative. The film follows Maria over the course of her nights. Maria isn’t ashamed of how she makes her money but she doesn’t have any illusions about the business either. Las Vegas Story is about a woman doing what she has to do to support her family and Christina Bocanegra gives a strong and sympathetic performance in the lead role.

Maria’s most faithful client is played Eric Roberts and it must be said that Roberts give an excellent and rather poignant performance as a businessman who is terminally ill and who seems to sincerely care about Maria. Roberts doesn’t have a huge role but he definitely makes an impression and shows that he’s still more than capable of giving a memorable performance.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.11 “The Songwriter/Queen of Soaps”

Posted on April 8, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

This week, things get a bit soapy on Fantasy Island.

Episode 6.11 “The Songwriter/Queen of Soaps”

(Dir by Philip Leacock, originally aired on January 22nd, 1983)

Dan O’Dwyer (Anson Williams) is the grandson of composer, Jeremy Todd (David Cassidy). Todd was a important figure during New York’s tin pan alley days but, in 1983, he’s a nearly forgotten figure. He died in World War I and there are some people who claim that Todd didn’t actually write the songs that he’s been credited with. Dan’s fantasy is to go back into the past so that he can meet his grandfather and bring some of his compositions back to the present day. Mr. Roarke makes it clear that Dan cannot tell anyone that he’s from the future nor can he try to change history. Jeremy Todd is going to die no matter what.

Dan agrees and he goes back to the past. He meets his grandfather and they get along famously. Dan even finds what he’s looking for, the compositions that prove that Jeremy wrote his own songs. However, Dan also meets and falls in love with a singer named Carol (Donna Pescow). Dan may have what he wants but he’s going to lose the love of his life once the fantasy ends.

Except …. what if Carol is someone with a fantasy of her own? That’s right, Carol’s another guest on the Island! I can’t say that I was surprised by this because this is a twist that the show has used several times. Still, Anson Williams and Donna Pescow made for a cute couple and even David Cassidy wasn’t as annoying as usual in the role of Jeremy Todd. This was a good fantasy.

And hey, the second fantasy was pretty good as well! Gina Edwards (Susan Lucci) is a soap opera star who worries that she’s being taken over by Andrea, the evil character that she plays on her show. The audience loves it when Andrea is wicked and dangerous but the pressure of playing a character so unlike herself is getting to Gina. She fears that she is literally going to turn into Andrea and perhaps harm her husband, Jeff (Chris Robinson). Jeff is also the director of the show so a lot of the pressure that Gina is feeling is coming from him. Fortunately, Mr. Roarke is able to show Gina and Jeff that they are both just working too hard. They decide to take a step back and just enjoy life.

This fantasy was fun. It was not only about a soap opera but it paid homage to daytime melodrama as well. (Tattoo, it turned out, was a huge fan of the show.) Susan Lucci, not surprisingly, was totally convincing as a soap opera diva. This fantasy had some enjoyably creepy moments and also a few humorous ones. It was everything you could want from Fantasy Island.

This was a great trip to the Island!