Song of the Day: Live by Jonathan Clarke


Tonight, I’m starting my summer job of writing about Big Brother for the Big Brother Blog.  In honor of that, today’s song of the day is the little-remembered theme song from the first season of Big Brother!

After listening to this, you’ll understand why they’ve gone with an instrumental theme song from season two on.

Retro Television Review: Malibu CA 2.21 “Parent Trap”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Yes, this is from the first season. I don’t care. I refuse to waste my time looking for a second season advertisement.

Soon, I will be finished with this show.  I’m just trying to keep my spirits up.

Episode 2.21 “Parent Trap”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on April 15th, 2000)

Peter is having a midlife crisis so Scott, Jason, and Traycee introduce him to Traycee’s mom, Candee (Wendi Winburn).  Peter falls for Candee and decides to ask her to marry him.  Traycee warns Scott and Jason that Candee has been proposed to by a lot of men — including Donald Trump! — and she always turns them down.  But, for some reason, Candee accepts Peter’s proposal.  But then, at the celebration dinner, Candee mentions that she wants to travel and Peter mentions that he wants to stay in Malibu and manage his restaurant (even though he tried to retire just a few episodes ago) and Candee and Peter decide not to get married.  They both share a laugh over the whole thing which struck me as odd.

Meanwhile, Lisa gets upset when Murray paints a naked picture of her.  She goes to Murray’s art showing and attempts to paint clothes on her body and seriously, I just wanted the police to arrest her and drag her away.  What a stupid storyline.  Lisa (the character, not me) is the worst.

This episode …. hey, it fit the running time and stuff happened.  Apparently, by this point in the second season, that’s all anyone was demanding from Malibu CA.  There’s an odd lack of conflict in this episode.  Candee wants to go on safari.  Peter doesn’t.  They laugh and call the whole thing off.  Uhmm, okay.  Most engagements end on a bit more of a dramatic (or, at the very least, an emotional) note.  When I was 18, I was briefly engaged until I found out that my fiancé’s family didn’t actually own all of those oil wells in South Texas, despite the fact that he claimed otherwise.  That was not a happy breakup.  Everyone in this episode is so agreeable that it’s boring.  For someone who was totally in love, Peter certainly seem to be cheerful about never seeing Candee again.  Seriously, he picked his tacky restaurant over the supposed love of his life.  What an idiot.

Oh well, at least this show is nearly over.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special 1971 Edition


4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, the Shattered Lens pays tribute to the year 1971!

4 Shots From 4 1971 Films

The Last Picture Show (1971, dir by Peter Bogdanovich, DP: Bruce Surtees)

The French Connection (1971, dir by William Friedkin, DP: Owen Roizman)

Wake in Fright (1971, dir by Ted Kotcheff, DP: Brian West)

The Last Movie (1971, dir by Dennis Hopper, DP: Laszlo Kovacs)

Music Video of the Day: Take My Breath Away, covered by Jessica Simpson (2004, dir by Chris Applebaum)


Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy birthday to Jessica Simpson.  On a personal note, we went to the the same high school, though I started a few years after she had already left.

Enjoy!

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 3.24 “The Moving Finger”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, Monsters comes to its conclusion.

Episode 3.24 “The Moving Finger”

(Dir by Kenny Myers, originally aired on April 26th, 1991)

Monsters comes to a close with an adaptation of a Stephen King short story.

Nerdy Howard (Tom Noonan) is shocked to discover that, every time he goes to any of the various drains in his house, a bony finger pokes out.  Howard’s wife can’t see the finger but Howard becomes obsessed with it, attacking it with a corrosive liquid and eventually a hedge trimmer.  No matter how much damage Howard does to it, the finger comes back, longer and stronger….

Despite the Stephen King pedigree and the presence of the usually reliable Tom Noonan, The Moving Finger makes for a disappointing conclusion to Monsters.  King’s style, and this is especially true of his short stories, often doesn’t translate well into visual adaptations.  The signature inner monologues and the building sense of dread can be difficult to recreate visually.  (One reason why The Shining is the best King adaptation is because Stanley Kubrick made the material his own and didn’t worry about trying to recreate all of King’s trademark  bullshit literary flourishes.)  Tom Noonan doesn’t have much of a character to play and the finger itself becomes less effective as the episode drags on.

Oh well!  Monsters was a generally uneven show so it’s perhaps appropriate that it ended on an unsteady note.  It’s the curse of the anthology format.  When Monsters was good, it was really, really good.  When it was bad, it was kind of boring.  There were a lot of good episodes that aired during the final season but, sadly, there were a few bad ones as well.  That said, the good Monsters episodes to outweigh the bad and forgettable ones.

That’s it for Monsters!  Next week, something new will premiere in this time slot.  What will it be?  I have no idea but I look forward to finding my next show!

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 6.6 “The Groupies/The Audition/Doc’s Nephew”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, Doc starts to feel his age.

Episode 6.6 “The Groupies/The Audition/Doc’s Nephew”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on November 6th, 1982)

When it comes to The Love Boat, there’s one question that always has to be asked.

In this episode, Julie appears to be moderately coked up.  She’s definitely not as coked up as she was in some of the earlier episodes of this season but there’s still that glint in her eye and the rapidness of his speech that leaves little doubt that there was probably some sniffing going on in the cruise director’s office.  On the How Coked Up With Julie Scale, I would give this one a solid 7 out of 10.

Of course, Julie had some competition on this cruise.  A pre-born again Willie Aames was on the cruise, playing Doc’s nephew Danny, and sporting the puffy eyes of someone who had been up all night on a date with the Devil’s Dandruff.  Danny and Doc both develop a crush on the same woman and Linda (Michelle Phillips) decides that she would prefer to spend her romantic time with a teenage Danny than with Doc, who has a medical degree and probably a lot more money than Danny.  This leads to Doc have yet another midlife crisis.  Danny, meanwhile, falls hard for Linda but, at the end of the cruise, Linda explains that she’s not looking to get tied down with a relationship.  She just wanted to bang someone who was ten years younger than her.  Okay, that’s not quite what she said but that was the general idea.  Doc learned that it was okay to be middle-aged and Danny was too high to learn much of anything.

Soap opera writer Paula Hastings (Susan Lucci!) boarded the cruise and was shocked to discover that one of the passengers was Barry Weldon (Tristan Rogers!), an actor who she turned down for a role on her soap.  Barry romanced Paula and convinced her that he was falling in love with her and then announced it was all just an act to prove that he deserved the role on her show.  Damn, Barry, that’s not nice at all!  But then it turned out that Barry actually had fallen in love with her so they decided to get married.  “Congratulations!” Julie said, her eyes shining with a manic edge.

Finally, a therapist (Richard Deacon) boarded the ship, just to discover that his patients (Jerry Van Dyke, Elaine Joyce, Morey Amsterdam, and Rose Marie) had all decided to take the cruise with him.  Why, that’s enough stress to make the idea of a little flakey relief seem appealing!  That said, the therapist and his patients were played by some old school sitcom mainstays and none of them seemed to be coked up.  They were definitely a whiskey and cigarettes crowd.

This was a pleasant cruise.  Bernie Kopell is always likable as Doc Bricker and I always enjoy his midlife crisis episodes.  The therapist storyline was pretty hokey but, on the other hand, Susan Lucci and Tristan Rogers!  That’s daytime drama royalty, babe!  I enjoyed this episode.

Film Review: Cast Away (dir by Robert Zemeckis)


“WILSON!”

Seriously, I’m usually pretty well-behaved when I watch a movie but every time I see the 2000 film Cast Away, I find myself thinking, “Protect Wilson!  You must protect Wilson!”  And then, every time, I feel the sting of tears in my eyes as Wilson, with that red-face and that understanding attitude, goes floating away.

Wilson is a volleyball.  When a FedEx executive named Chuck Noland (played by Tom Hanks) finds himself stranded on a desert island, Wilson becomes his only companion.  A stain from Chuck’s bloody palm creates something that resembles a face on Wilson’s rubber surface and Chuck spends a lot of time talking to Wilson.  It’s how Chuck maintains his sanity, even as he loses weight, sheds most of his clothes, and grows a beard.

Chuck learns how to make fire.  He learns how to catch fish.  He is able to survive due to the supplies that he gathers from the FedEx packages that were being carried on the plane that crashed into the island.  But Chuck never stops dreaming of returning home to his girlfriend (Helen Hunt).  Eventually, Chuck finds the courage to try to make the journey back to civilization.  He brings Wilson with him but ultimately, this is something that Chuck is going to have to do on his own.  Of course, Chuck has failed to consider that he’s been gone for years.  He is presumed dead.  On the Island, time seemed like it was frozen.  For the rest of the world, life has continued.

Cast Away is a film that a lot of people, especially online film commentators, tend to criticize.  The complaint is usually that the film is essentially a commercial for FedEx, that it’s not believable that Tom Hanks could survive on that island for as long as he did, and that the film itself has a weak ending.  I’ll concede that the film does make FedEx look like the nicest corporation on Earth.  (FedEx’s CEO appears as himself, which should tell you something about how the company is presented.)  And I will admit that the film’s time-advancing jump cut, which abruptly takes Hanks from being clean-shaven and husky to being thin and bearded, does leave a lot of unanswered questions.  But I will always defend the film’s ending.  The film ends on a note of ambiguity but how else could it have ended?  Everyone thought Chuck Noland was dead.  His girlfriend had every right to get on with her life and, in fact, it would have been psychologically unhealthy for her if she hadn’t.  As for that final shot, it’s an acknowledgment that Chuck doesn’t know what lies ahead of him in the future.  All he knows is that he life isn’t over yet.  It’s a melancholy ending.  It’s a frustrating ending.  But it’s also the only way the film could have ended and therefore, it’s a perfect ending.

Cast Away is a film that I will always defend and it’s also a film that really only could have worked with Tom Hanks in the lead role.  He plays Chuck as being the ultimate everyman, an affable guy who was just trying to do his job and whose survival of the initial plane crash was largely due to luck.  Hanks is one of those actors who is instantly sympathetic and Cast Away uses his screen persona to good effect.  You want him to survive because he’s Tom Hanks.  He may be playing a character named Chuck Noland but ultimately, he’s Tom Hanks.  He survived being trapped in space.  Surely, he can survive being stranded on an island.  The majority of the film is just Hanks talking to himself.  This would have brought out the worst in so many actors but Tom Hanks makes it work.  And yes, he’ll bring tears to your eyes as he watches Wilson float away.  That’s the power of a good actor.

As for Wilson, I like to think that he washed up in Pensecola.  Recently, I played a little volleyball on a beautiful Florida beach.  Was that you, Wilson?

 

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Tom Hanks Edition


4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy birthday to Tom Hanks!  It’s time for….

4 Shots From 4 Tom Hanks Films

Big (1988, dir by Tom Hanks, DP: Barry Sonnenfeld)

Apollo 13 (1995, dir by Ron Howard, DP: Dean Cundey)

Cast Away (2000, dir by Robert Zemeckis, DP: Don Burgess)

Captain Phillips (2013, dir by Paul Greengrass, DP: Barry Ackroyd)

 

 

Scenes I Love: The Opening of Shaft


Today would have been the birthday of Richard Roundtree so, of course, today’s scene that I love could only be the classic opening of 1971’s Shaft.

By doing something as simple as walking down a street in New York, Roundtree showed us exactly who Shaft was and why Shaft did what he did.  This is one of those scenes that’s been parodied so many times that it’s actually surprising to rewatch and see how just defiant and sexy Richard Roundtree’s confident strut actually was.

On another note, I enjoy seeing all of the names of the movies that were playing on 42nd Street when this scene was filmed.