Film Review: Dumbo (dir by Tim Burton)


Tim Burton’s remake of Dumbo actually wasn’t that bad.

I know!  I’m as shocked as anyone.  Usually, I’m against remakes on general principle and I’m certainly not a fan of the current trend of doing live-action versions of classic animated films.  (There’s a reason why I haven’t seen the new The Lion King.)  Dumbo is one of my favorites of the old Disney films, one that’s always brought tears to my mismatched eyes so I was naturally predisposed to be critical of the remake.  Add to that, I’m not particularly a huge fan of Tim Burton, a director who too often seems to be coasting on his reputation for being a visionary as opposed to actually being one.

And yet, I have to admit that I enjoyed this new version of Dumbo.  To call it a remake is actually a mistake.  It’s a reimagining, as I suppose any live action remake of an animated film about a flying elephant, a talking mouse, and a group of sarcastic crows would have to be.  So, the crows are gone, which is understandable as I doubt you could get away with a bird named “Jim Crow” today.  And sadly, Timothy the Mouse is gone.  He’s been replaced by several human characters, including Colin Farrell as a one-armed, former equestrian, Eva Green as a French trapeze artist, and Danny DeVito as the rough-around-the-edges but good-hearted ringmaster.  However, Dumbo’s still present and he’s still got the big ears.  He can still fly, as long as he’s holding a feather.

Dumbo’s only a CGI elephant but he’s still adorable.  Of course, I should be honest that I’ve always loved elephants.  I even rode one at Scarborough Fair once!  It was like a totally bumpy and somewhat uncomfortable ride but, at the same time, it was also totally cool because I was on top of an elephant!  The other thing I love about elephants is that elephants form real families.  They love each other.  They look out for each other.  They mourn their dead, which is one of many reasons why ivory poachers are some of the worst people in the world.  Elephants may not fly but there’s a sweetness to them that makes the story of Dumbo and his mother extra poignant, regardless of whether it’s animated, CGI, or live-action.  Anyway, the remake’s version of Dumbo is absolutely lovable, from the minute he reveals his ears to the triumphant moment when he soars through the circus tent.

As a director, Tim Burton has always struggled with pacing.  Watching his films, you always dread the inevitable moment when he gets distracted by a red herring or a superfluous storyline because you know that, once it happens, the entire film is going to go off the rails.  Dumbo starts out slowly and it seems like forever before the baby elephant actually shows up.  Fortunately, once Dumbo does show up, Burton’s direction becomes much more focused.  The story stops meandering and, for once, Burton actually manages to maintain some sense of narrative momentum.

Visually, the film’s a feast for the eyes.  Even though it’s a live-action film, the sets and the costumes are all flamboyantly and colorfully over-the-top, giving the film the feeling of being a child’s imagination come to life.  I mean, when you’re making a film about a flying elephant, there’s no point in trying to go for gritty realism.  While the film does mention some real-world tragedies — Farrell lost his arm in World War I and his wife to Spanish Flu — Burton plays up the fantasy elements of the story.  He’s helped by Danny DeVito and Michael Keaton who both give cartoonishly broad performances.  Fortunately, they’re both good enough actors that they can get away with it.

So, the live-action reimagining of Dumbo is not that bad.  It has its slow spots and it really can’t match the emotional power of the original animated version.  But, with all that taken into consideration, it’s still an undeniably entertaining two hours.

Scenes That I Love: The “Tears In The Rain” monologue from Blade Runner (RIP, Rutger Hauer)


I just read that Rutger Hauer passed away on July 19th.  He was 75 years old.

Though Hauer played many great roles, most people will always think of him as the replicant Roy Batty in 1982’s Blade Runner.  One of Hauer’s most memorable scenes in that film was his final monologue.  Reportedly, Hauer himself came up with this monologue on the spot, feeling that the lines in the original script didn’t do justice to either the story or his character.

Rest in peace, Rutger Hauer.  He was one of the greats.

Music Video of the Day: Benny Goodman by Saint Motel (2012, dir by A/J Jackson)


Let’s get this week off to a good start with this video from Saint Motel!

If this video doesn’t make you want to dance, I don’t know what to tell you.

That is Miles Brown, also known as Baby Boogaloo, dancing.  At the time of this video, he was around eight years old.  He’s currently a part of the cast of Black-ish, playing Jack Johnson.

Enjoy!

Lisa’s Week In Review: 7/15/19 — 7/21/19


A Trip to the Moon (1902, dir by Georges Melies)

It’s hot as Hell, the new twitter layout sucks, CBS is no longer available on Uverse, and my allergies have been driving me crazy.  What a week!  Oh well, this upcoming week will be better.

Films I Watched:

  1. Apollo 13 (1995)
  2. Apollo 18 (2001)
  3. Double Impact (1991)
  4. Dumbo (2019)
  5. First Man (2018)
  6. For Those Who Think Young (1964)
  7. How Awful About Allan (1970)
  8. The Hunter (1980)
  9. Moon (2009)
  10. The Right Stuff (1983)
  11. A Trip To The Moon (1902)
  12. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
  13. Zabriskie Point (1970)

Television Shows I Watched:

  1. The Bachelorette
  2. Big Brother 21
  3. The Bold and the Beautiful
  4. Dance Moms
  5. Days of our Lives
  6. Doctor Phil
  7. Face the Truth
  8. General Hospital
  9. Ghost Whisperer
  10. Grand Hotel
  11. iZombie
  12. King of the Hill
  13. Legion
  14. Love Island
  15. Profiler
  16. So You Think You Can Dance
  17. Veronica Mars
  18. The Young and The Restless

Books I Read:

  1. Behind the Bell by Dustin Diamond (2009)
  2. The Flame and the Flower by Kathleen Woodiwiss (1972)
  3. White by Bret Easton Ellis (2019)

Music To Which I Listened:

  1. Arcade Fire
  2. Big Data
  3. Blanck Mass
  4. The Chemical Brothers
  5. Daft Punk
  6. Deadmau5
  7. Duncan Lloyd
  8. Elle King
  9. Ellie Goulding
  10. Ghastly
  11. Goblin
  12. Goo Goo Dolls
  13. Kaskade
  14. Moonchild
  15. Phantogram
  16. The Prodigy
  17. The Regrettes
  18. Saint Motel
  19. She & Him
  20. Sleigh Bells
  21. Texas
  22. Xul Zolar

Links From Last Week:

  1. Please consider subcribing to Ryan’s patreon!
  2. On her photography site, Erin shared Street in Black-and-White, Windy Day, Leaves, Leaves 2, Backyard Mushrooms, More Mushrooms, and Even More Mushrooms!
  3. Over on Pop Politics, Jeff shared Shatner, Nimoy, and MAD; The (Possible) Return of Mark Sanford, 332 to 95, Captain America: The People’s Choice, Alex Ross Captures Galactus In All Of His Glory, and What I’m Reading: Smokin’ Joe: The Life of Joe Frazier by Mark Kram, Jr. 
  4. On my music site, I shared songs from The Regrettes, deadmau5 and Kaskade, Xul Zolar, Arcade Fire, The Prodigy, Duncan Lloyd, and Rita Ora!
  5. I reviewed Big Brother for the Big Brother Blog!
  6. Kickin The Willy Bobo With…LUCAS GARRETT
  7. Quentin Tarantino Says ‘Star Trek’ Will Be His Last Film If He Commits To Directing
  8. Paul McCartney Has Been Secretly Writing an ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ Musical
  9. Notre-Dame came far closer to collapsing than anyone realized.  Here’s how it was saved.
  10. ‘Agents of SHIELD’ to End With Season 7 at ABC
  11. Marianne Williamson on Her “Woo-Woo” Rep, Hollywood Friends and Dead-Serious Plan to Save America
  12. Box Office: ‘Avengers: Endgame’ Passes ‘Avatar’ to Become No. 1 Grossing Film of All Time
  13. The Orville Moving Exclusively to Hulu for Season 3, to Premiere in Late 2020
  14. Everything Marvel has planned for Phase 4: Natalie Portman returns as a new Thor, Mahershala Ali will be Blade, Angelina Jolie trains to be an Eternal, more
  15. The 2019 Emmy Nominations

Links From The Site:

  1. Erin wished us all a happy Moon Day and profiled artist Morgan Kane.  She also shared Trouble Valley, Halo for A Heel, Payment in Sin, Female Convict, Corrupt Woman, How Sharp The Point, and Burro Alley!
  2. Gary reviewed The Bloody Brood and For Those Who Think Young and said goodbye to Pumpsie Green!
  3. Jeff reviewed Double Impact!
  4. I shared music videos from She & Him, Ghastly, Goo Goo Dolls, Ellie Goulding, Big Data, Moonchild, and Daft Punk!  I shared the trailer for Cats and the trailer for Zombie Tidal Wave and my personal Emmy nominations!  I reviewed The Wrong Mommy!
  5. Leonard shared the trailers for Top Gun: Maverick and It — Chapter Two!
  6. Ryan reviewed Rodeo and shared his latest weekly reading round-up!

Want to see what I did last week?  Click here!

Here’s The Trailer For Zombie Tidal Wave


In case you were wondering what SyFY was going to do now that the Sharknado franchise has concluded …. well, here’s your answer!

Zombie Tidal Wave features underwater zombies, just like one of my favorite horror movies, Shock Waves.  Shock Waves was a rather disturbing film, the type of thing that inspires nightmares.  Zombie Tidal Wave looks like it might be a little bit more light-hearted.

Here’s the trailer!

Lifetime Film Review: The Wrong Mommy (dir by David DeCoteau)


If there’s anything that I’ve learned from my long history of watching Lifetime films, it’s that having a real job just isn’t worth the trouble.

Just consider what Melanie (Jessica Morris) goes through in The Wrong Mommy.  She’s got a real job.  She also has a handsome husband (Jason-Shane Scott), an adorable daughter (Jillian Spitz), and a mother (Dee Wallace) who enjoys going on exotic cruises.  Melanie also has a really nice and really big house, the type of house that would probably be the “slightly more than you’re willing to pay” house on an episode of House Hunters.  But can she enjoy it?  No, of course not!  It’s all because she’s got a real job.  She can’t pick up her daughter after school.  She can’t go out at night.  She can’t do anything because she’s got a real job.

However, during the first few minutes of The Wrong Mommy, Melanie gets some good news!  She’s been promoted!  She’s now a senior executive or whatever it is that you get promoted to when you’ve got a real job.  Along with having real responsibilities, Melanie is also about to get a real assistant!

Here’s another thing that I’ve learned from my long history of watching Lifetime films, as well as from my own past experience in the administrative professional field.  Be very careful about hiring an assistant.  Especially if she only has one obscure reference on her resume.  Even if she’s willing to babysit your daughter for you, be careful.  Don’t look the other way when she flirts with your husband.  And, for the love of everything holy in this world, don’t tell her the one secret that could lead to you losing a big account!

Unfortunately, Melanie doesn’t exercise caution about any of that and, as a result, she ends up hiring Phoebe (Ashlynn Yennie).  Even before Phoebe shows up for her interview, we’ve already seen her following Melanie around town and spying on her.  In fact, even before the opening credits conclude, Phoebe is breaking into Melanie’s house and planting spy cameras.  We know better than to trust Phoebe and soon, Melanie discovers that she made a mistake hiring her.  However, it may be too late to do anything about it….

Now, to the film’s credit, Phoebe isn’t just some random psycho bitch trying to ruin someone else’s life.  It turns out that she has a backstory, one that actually does involve Melanie.  I won’t spoil anything by revealing it but it’s a pretty good backstory.  Ashley Yennie appears to be having a lot of fun in the role of Phoebe.  If you’re going to be in a Lifetime movie, you definitely want to play the villain.  They usually get all the good lines and get to wear all the pretty clothes.

Like most of Lifetime’s “Wrong” films, this one was directed by David DeCoteau, who know exactly the right tone to take for a film like this.  He plays up the melodrama while never allowing the film to take itself too seriously.  (Just check out the scene where Dee Wallace shouts out the film’s title.)  As with all the “Wrong” films, Vivica A. Fox shows up as a no-nonsense authority figure.  (This time, she plays Melanie’s boss.)  The great Eric Roberts also shows up for a few minutes, playing a sleazy client.  Roberts doesn’t have much screen time but, as usual, he makes memorable use of what he gets.

The Wrong Mommy is an enjoyably silly film.  It doesn’t take itself too seriously and neither should you.

Music Video of The Day: Too Much To Ask by Moonchild (2019, dir by ????)


I like this video because it has a a sort of creepy retro feel to it, as if the band has traveled through time, from the early 70s to the 21st Century.  Why have they traveled through time?  Who can say for sure but it’s probably going to lead to the end of the world.  You know how much I love my apocalyptic musings.

Personally, I don’t think that anything is too much to ask, as long as you understand that my answer might very well be “no.”  When I was younger, I used to agree to do anything that was asked of me but, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve discovered that sometimes, you just have to refuse to be helpful.  Or, at the very least, you can be helpful in a practical way.  For instance, this woman who works in the office across from me recently had a dead car battery and when she asked me if I knew anyone who knew how to jump a car or who had jumper cables, I said that I didn’t but I did look up an informative YouTube video for her.  Apparently, the video didn’t really help her with her problem but the important thing is that I was helpful in a way that didn’t require me to spend an extra hour standing out in the middle of a hot parking lot.

Anyway, where was I?

Oh yeah!  Enjoy!

Here’s That Trailer For Cats


Okay, so apparently, some people find the just-released trailer for Cats to be kinda creepy.

Speaking for myself, the trailer pretty much looks like what I would expect a film version of Cats to look like.  I mean, the entire point of the stage production is that everyone dresses up like a cat and sings their heart out!  The cat costumes and the makeup are a part of the production so I don’t know what everyone’s complaining about….

Well, okay, I will admit that I cringed when Rebel Wilson showed up but that’s just because it was so inevitable that Rebel Wilson would be in this movie.  She’s like the female version of James Corden and …. oh wait, he’s in the film too?

Listen, I’m going to say it right now.  Cats is going to be great.  Well, maybe not great but it’s definitely going to be something that you’re going to want to be able to tell your children that you witnessed firsthand.  A friend of mine hasn’t done shrooms in like ten years but he’s planning on indulging for one night only, the night that he sees this film.  That’s type of cultural phenomena that Cats has the potential to be!  (That said, he won’t be seeing the movie with me because I don’t want to be around if he has a bad trip.  I’m never really sure what my exact obligation is in a situation like that.)  Some people are going to hate this film but I like the whole idea of the film encouraging people to believe in something more than just pure cynicism,  I just wish the film starred actual cats.

Anyway, here’s the trailer.  Taylor Swift’s in it so you know the movie’s going to be a financial success no matter what the critics say.