Author Archives: Jedadiah Leland

X-Men (2000, directed by Bryan Singer)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

I saw X-Men on the first day that it opened in theaters. Actually, I saw it twice.

The first time I saw it was by myself. I had been planning on waiting to see it in the evening with my friends Johnny and Kyleigh, but I actually found myself with a few hours to spare, so I decided to go ahead and see it. I watched it in the later afternoon and, after that showing got out, I met up with Johnny and Kyleigh outside the theater and went straight back in.

It’s hard to describe what a big deal the X-Men movie was in 2000. This was before there was a new Marvel movie or show every three months. It was also at a time when comic book movies, following the failure of Batman and Robin, were no longer considered to be a sure thing. Johnny and I were lifelong Marvel fans and, having survived the trauma of The Phantom Menace, were very much looking forward to the X-Men movie. We knew that both Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen were the perfect choices for Professor X and Magneto. Anna Paquin seemed like a good choice for Rogue. But would Hugh Jackman, an actor neither of us had heard of before, be able to bring Wolverine to life?

Even though we both rolled our eyes when we heard that Rogue’s name was apparently Marie, Johnny and I were shocked at how good X-Men was. Today, we take it for granted that comic books can be turned into movies, but in 2000, X-Men took us by surprise by being well-acted, well-directed, and surprisingly entertaining. Kyleigh was not a fan of comic books in general and she liked the movie considerably less than we did. (“Dr. Wheelchair” was her name for Charles Xavier.) But for Marvel fans, X-Men was the anti-Phantom Menace.

Looking back, the plot felt like it could have been lifted from the pages of the comic book. Sen. Robert Kelly (Bruce Davison) is leading a national political movement against the mutants. Magneto has created a machine that will induce mutations in human beings. (The movie opens with a flashback that establishes Magneto as a survivor of the Holocaust. Today, everyone knows his backstory, but in 2000, people were stunned that a comic book movie could also deal with reality.) Magneto and Professor X both try to recruit Rogue to their side, and Wolverine, as Rogue’s protector, reveals his claws and reluctantly becomes a member of the X-Men.

When X-Men was first released, Hugh Jackman was the big question mark, but he turned out to be the perfect choice for Wolverine, even if he did seem to be too tall for the role. Jackman was tough and surly and somehow, he looked credible with claws. He was everything that fans like me wanted out of Wolverine and, once he showed up, I knew it was going to be a good movie. Not surprisingly, Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen were perfect for Xavier and Magneto, as was Anna Paquin as Rogue. Though they’re overshadowed by Stewart, McKellen, Jackman, and Paquin, the other members of the X-Men are played by James Marsden (Scott), Famke Janssen (Jean Grey), and Halle Berry (Storm). Ray Park plays Toad, Tyler Mane plays Sabretooth, and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos excited male viewers everywhere by playing the naked and blue Mystique.

A lot of time has passed since 2000. An entire Marvel Cinematic Universe was created that did not initially include the X-Men, though that has since changed. Bryan Singer is no longer on the A-list. But I still always look fondly on the day that I watched X-Men twice.

Leprechaun: Origins (2014, directed by Zach Lipovsky)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Two young American couples are hiking through Ireland when they come across a small town that is under the control of the Leprechaun (now played by wrestler Dylan “Hornswoggle” Postl). Long ago, the villagers stole all of the Leprechaun’s gold. In order to make it up to the Leprechaun, they have to sacrifice at least two humans a year. Usually, they sacrifice travelers that no one will miss, but at least one villager has become disillusioned with the practice. As for the Leprechaun, he’s finally escaped from where he was being held prisoner.

Nope.

After Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood, it took eleven years to make another Leprechaun movie, and this is what they came up with. There’s no Warwick Davis, even though he was (and is) still alive and working. There’s none of the humor that, in the previous films, provided a distraction from how stupid the plot usually was. There’s really not even a Leprechaun, or at least not the type of leprechaun who was in the previous movies. This one is just a generic monster. None of the past Leprechaun movies were that good, but most of them were watchable because of Warwick Davis and his scary but campy leprechaun makeup. Even setting the film in Ireland doesn’t help things. As dumb as it was to have the Leprechaun showing up in places like North Dakota and outer space, at least it was enjoyably weird.

Jennifer Aniston did not risk her life fighting Warwick Davis just for a movie like this to be made 21 years later.

 

Music Video of the Day: Take It Off by King Kobra (1988, directed by ????)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

This song was featured in the horror classic Black Roses, which is a movie about teenagers driven to murder by heavy metal music. The Satanic band itself was played by King Kobra.

As for this video, it doesn’t feature any Black Roses footage but it does feature Larry Fine and Humphrey Bogart.

Enjoy!

Leprechaun: Back 2 Tha Hood (2003, directed by Steven Ayrolmlooi)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

In Los Angeles, four friends are hanging out at an abandoned youth center when one of them falls through a hole and discovers a fortune in gold coins. The friends take the gold for themselves, which gets them on the bad side of the Leprechaun (Warwick Davis).

It’s the same old song and dance. From the title and the urban setting, you might think that this is a straight sequel to Leprechaun in the Hood, but this film actually contradicts that film by having the Leprechaun get trapped underground during the same time that, in the previous film, he was terrorizing Jennifer Aniston in North Dakota and existing as a statue in Ice-T’s office.

This was the first Leprechaun film to be produced by Lionsgate and the first to go straight to video, and it’s obvious that it was a rush job done on the cheap. The kills are uninventive and the blood is CGI. (Would Karo syrup have really cost that much?) With the exception of Warwick Davis, the casting is uninspired. Sticky Fingaz is not a good enough substitute for Ice-T.

Sadly, this was also Warwick Davis’s final outing as the Leprechaun, and the movie doesn’t even let him go out on a good note. No rhymes, no puns, and no bad jokes, nothing that really made the Leprechaun anything more than just someone in an elaborate costume. Did Lionsgate think that people were watching the Leprechaun films for some reason other than the title character? Considering that Warwick Davis was really the only reason any of these movies were watchable, he definitely deserved better.

Music Video of the Day: Love Kills by Vinnie Vincent Invasion (1988, directed by Nigel Dick)

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After a stint as lead guitarist for KISS, Vinnie Vincent went on to form Vinnie Vincent Invasion.  Though the band was only together for four years before the members split up to pursue their own projects (two members of the band would go on to form Slaughter), Vinnie Vincent Invasion had a number of minor hits during its existence.

Love Kills was featured in Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master and Freddy repaid them for the song by appearing in the music video.  This video was directed by Nigel Dick, who I think has directed at least one video for every band that has ever existed.

Enjoy!

Morbius (2022, directed by Daniel Epinosa)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Michael Morbius (Jared Leto) has devoted his life to creating artificial blood, but he publicly declines to accept the Nobel Prize because he still hasn’t found a cure for the rare blood disease that is affecting not only him but also his best friend, a man he calls Milo (Matt Smith) for reasons that are too stupid to get into. Using the genes of Costa Rican bats, Morbius finally develops a cure, but there’s a side effect. Taking the cure transforms someone into a living vampire. Morbius is now strong and fast, but he also has a craving for blood. Morbius knows that the cure is even worse than the disease, but Milo doesn’t care and takes it anyway. Now, there are two living vampires wreaking havoc in New York City.

It’s not just New York that suffers due to Morbius. It’s also Sony Pictures, which released the film to terrible reviews and bad box office on April 1st, 2022. After the film was yanked out of theaters, someone at Sony noticed that a lot of people on Twitter were posting a meme that featured Morbius. Mistakenly thinking that this meant Morbius had become a so-bad-it’s-good cult phenomenon, Sony rereleased Morbius in theaters on June 3rd, and the film flopped a second time.

I know that I groaned when I first read that Sony was developing a Morbius film to be a part of their “extended Spider-Man universe.” That’s because Morbius was always one of my favorite Marvel characters, and I knew Sony would probably never be able to do the character justice. I was right. Morbius is mostly interesting as a throwback to what comic book films were like before the MCU and Zack Snyder came along. There’s no real affection for the characters and none of the type of big moments that usually made even the least inspired of the MCU films worth watching. It looks cheap, it feels cheap, and the whole thing is totally by the numbers. Matt Smith is given little to do as the villain, and, for all of his reputation for eccentricity, Jared Leto gives an anemic performance. He lets his beard and his hair do most of the acting. The worst thing about it is that it’s just boring. In the comic books, Morbius mixed his brilliance with a feral bloodlust. That’s what made him such a memorable character. In the movie, he’s just Jared Leto.

Morbius the Living Vampire deserved better.

 

Leprechaun In The Hood (2000, directed by Rob Spera)

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After they’re dropped by record producer Mack Daddy O’Nasses (Ice-T), three aspiring rappers get their revenge by breaking into Mack Daddy’s office. When Mack Daddy shows up unexpectedly, Postmaster P (Antony Montgomery) panics and shoots him. Thinking that Mack Daddy is dead, Postmaster P steals the small golden flute that he always carries with him. One of Postmaster P’s partners removes a medallion from a statue of the Leprechaun, bringing the Leprechaun back to life. Now, Postmaster P and his friends find themselves being pursued by both the Leprechaun and Mack Daddy (who, it turns out, was not dead).

To give some credit where it is due, Leprechaun in the Hood gets off to a good start with a flashback to a young Mack Daddy, complete with platform shoes and a giant afro, first finding the statue and the golden flute. The opening had the right amount of humor and style, and it also had Ice-T and Warwick Davis acting opposite each other. If the movie had stayed in the 70s and if Ice-T had been the star instead of just a supporting character, Leprechaun in the Hood could have been a classic mix of blaxploitation style and campy horror. But then the movie jumps into the present with Postmaster P and his boring friends, and an uneasy mix of gore and mean-spirited humor.

Given the Leprechaun’s love for rhymes, an eventual hip-hop Leprechaun movie was probably the next logical step in the franchise, and it does make slightly more sense to find him here than in outer space. I have to wonder how, if the Leprechaun spent nearly twenty years as a statue in Ice-T’s office, he was also able to be in North Dakota and Las Vegas at the same time. I guess you don’t need continuity when you’ve got a pot of gold.

Music Video of the Day: Ride On by Lulabox (1992, directed by ????)

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This song appears on the Pet Sematary 2 soundtrack, which might be the best soundtrack to have never been given an official release.  In the film, this is the song that plays over the end credits.  The video follows the film’s story of the dead rising back to life.

Enjoy!

Howard The Duck (1986, directed by Willard Huyck)

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There’s a scene in Howard the Duck where Tim Robbins looks like he briefly wants to strangle the title character, and I don’t blame him. Howard the Duck (voiced by Chip Zien) is not a very likable character in this movie. Due to an experiment with a laser spectroscope, he’s been transported from his planet to Earth. He’s in a world he didn’t make, and he doesn’t stop complaining for one moment. As for Tim Robbins, he plays Phil Blumburtt, a laboratory assistant who is a friend of Beverly Switzler (Lea Thompson), the aspiring singer who is also Howard’s girlfriend. Beverly ends up getting abducted by Dr. Jennings (Jeffrey Jones), Phil’s boss, who has been possessed by a space monster that was brought to Earth by the same spectroscope that caught Howard. Howard wants to return to his planet, but he also wants to manage Beverly’s band; first, though, he has to defeat the space monsters.

Produced by George Lucas and based on the character created by Steve Gerber, Howard the Duck was a notorious box office bomb when it was first released in 1986, and it’s actually one of the reasons why it took so long for Marvel to start regularly producing films. I watched it recently to see if it had gotten any better with age, but no, it’s still pretty bad. Lea Thompson is cute, likable, and probably a little bit too sexy for a film about a talking duck, but otherwise, it’s a typical ’80s mix of action, comedy, and science fiction that gets too buried under its special effects to really be effective.

The main problem with the movie is its version of Howard himself. According to Steve Gerber, Howard the Duck was originally envisioned as being an animated film, but Lucas decided to do the film live-action, which meant creating a duck suit for Ed Gale to walk around in. Unfortunately, the suit doesn’t look like a duck, animated or real. It made Howard look like a puppet. The scenes of an underwear-clad Beverly rolling around with a duck were already strange enough without making the duck look like a ventriloquist dummy. The movie also didn’t capture the personality that made Howard so memorable in the comic books. In the comic books, Howard is cynical, easily irritated, and frustrated with the madness of everyday life. He’s an intellectual duck who wants to be left alone. In the movie, he tells a lot of bad jokes and is only once seen smoking his famous cigar. The satire that was at the heart of Gerber’s creation is lost as Howard instead tries to save Earth from being conquered by another group of aliens.

The movie never really decides if it wants to be a comedy or a big-budget action film. The movie not only damaged George Lucas’s reputation as a producer, but it also ended Willard Huyck’s career as a director. Howard the Duck is still a beloved character amongst readers. I remember the entire theater applauding when he showed up in Guardians of the Galaxy, looking like a real talking duck and voiced by Seth Green. He was featured in several episodes of What If…?. There might be a movie future for this duck yet.

Leprechaun 4: In Space (1996, directed by Brian Trenchard-Smith)

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In the far future, the Leprechaun (Warwick Davis) is living on another planet where he’s trying to marry a space princess and he’s interfering with Earth’s mining operations.  A bunch of Space Marines show up and take the Leprechaun out.  One of the Marines decides to take a leak on the Leprechaun’s remains.  The reborn Leprechaun later springs out of the Marine’s penis, which I guess is one of those leprechaun powers that usually goes unmentioned.  The Space Marines are in trouble and so is the franchise.  A sudden trip into space is usually a pretty good sign that you’ve run out of ideas.

I was hoping that this one,  like the second and the third Leprechaun films, would turn out to be better than I remembered but no, it was still pretty crappy.  Obviously, continuity has never been too big a deal in these movies but what is an Irish leprechaun doing on a different planet and why does it now take a group of Space Marines to stop him whereas once all it took was Jennifer Aniston?  Sending the Leprechaun into space sounds like it should work but the action is slow and the script is lacking in even providing a few good one liners.  I don’t think much thought was given to the film, beyond tossing the little guy into orbit.

As always, Warwick Davis is the strength of the franchise.  He’s the main reason why I always want these movies to be better than they actually are.  Otherwise, Leprechaun 4 doesn’t even work on a camp level.  The movie ends with a giant leprechaun hand giving everyone the finger.  Was that meant to be for the Space Marines or the audience?