Time of the Apes (1974/1987, directed by Kiyosumi Fukazawa and Atsuo Okunaka)

Posted on February 22, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

As a result of a natural disaster, three people are frozen. By the time that they thaw it, several hundreds of years have passed and Earth is now a very different place. Humans are now second-class citizens and the planet is ruled by apes, who speak English, live in their own cities, and have their own militaristic society. The humans go on the run, to avoid being possibly destroyed by the ape leaders who either cannot accept or are trying to cover up the fact that Earth was once dominated by humans. In fact, it’s almost as if the humans have found themselves on a planet of the…

You get the idea.

Time of the Apes may sound like a blatant Planet of the Apes rip-off but there are a few differences. First off, instead of Charlton Heston, humanity is represented by Catherine and two children who, for reasons that are not exactly clear, thought it would be a good idea to ride out an earthquake in a cryogenic chamber. (You science teacher right. That’s exactly how you accidentally freeze yourself for several centuries.) Secondly, the apes in Time of the Apes don’t ride horses or wear their leather outfits. Instead, they were suits and police uniforms and they drive Buicks and station wagons. Time of the Apes may take place far in the future but the ape way of life is still trapped in 1974. Catherine and the two brats eventually meet another human named Godo (Tetsuya Ushio). Unlike the nearly-naked future humans in Planet of the Apes, Godo wears a turtleneck.

To understand Time of the Apes, you have to understand that it was originally a 26-episode Japanese television series that aired in 1974, at the height of Planet of the Apes mania. 13 years later, America producer Sandy Frank got the rights to the series and decided to edit it down from 26 hours to 93 minutes so that he could release it as a movie. As a result, Time of the Apes is a disjointed movie in which the action seems to frequently repeat itself but it’s never boring. Between the apes and the sudden appearance of a flying saucer, there’s always something to watch. It’s never really good either, though. The ape makeup is terrible. The dubbing is worse. If you can watch the movie for five minutes without laughing at the ineptitude of it all, you’re a stronger movie watcher than me.

Time of the Apes is pretty much impossible to see unless you’re watching the Mystery Science Theater version. The MST 3K gang liked the film so much that they actually did it twice, once during the show’s later disowned first season (when it was basically just a cable access program in Minnesota) and once more after the show started to air nationally. It’s rightfully considered to be one of MST 3K’s best episodes and it’s probably the best possible way to watch Time of the Apes. You need Joel and the Bots there to assure you that you did actually just see and hear what you think you saw and heard. Sandy Frank was apparently not amused by the show’s lampooning of Time of the Apes but he really should lighten up. MST 3K brought Time of the Apes to an entirely new and appreciative audience.

Moments in Television History #17: Charles Rocket Nearly Ends SNL

Posted on February 21, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

On this day, 41 years ago, Saturday Night Live was nearly canceled.

In 1981, Saturday Night Live was in its 6th season and things weren’t going so well. Lorne Michaels had left the program and he had taken what was left of the original cast with him. The new producer, Jean Doumanian, had hired an entirely new group of writers and performers. Doumanian felt that her biggest star would be a former news anchorman-turned-comedian named Charles Rocket. In order to prop up Rocket, she surrounded him with a cast that included Gilbert Gottfried, Denny Dillon, and Joe Piscopo. (Among those who auditioned but were not selected: Jim Carrey, John Goodman and Paul Reubens.) Seeking a black comedian who could take over the roles that were previously played by Garrett Morris, Doumanian tried to recruit a performer named Charlie Barnett. When Barnett skipped his second audition, she then considered hiring Robert Townsend before she finally settled on a 19 year-old stand-up comedian named Eddie Murphy.

To no one’s surprise, the initial reviews of the new Saturday Night Live were brutal. Everyone knew it would be difficult, at first, to win over the critics who were used to Bill Murray, Gilda Radner, Belushi, Aykroyd, and Lorne Michaels. What no one expected was that the reviews would never get better and that, instead of Charles Rocket, it would be Eddie Murphy and Joe Piscopo who would emerge as the new fan favorites. Reportedly, a few of the cast members resented Murphy and Piscopo’s success. No one was happy with the way Doumanian was running the show. It didn’t take long until Season 6 was better known for its backstage tension than for it comedy. As ratings plunged, there were even rumors that the show might not be renewed.

On February 21st, 1981, those tensions went from being backstage to being on thousands of televisions. The night’s episode was hosted by Charlene Tilton, a cast member of what was then the most popular show in prime time, Dallas. Everyone in the country was debating who had shot J.R. Ewing. Saturday Night Live decided to do its own tak on the phenomenon by asking, “Who shot Charles Rocket?” Over the course of the show, Rocket was shown having a conflict with every member of the cast. Finally, towards the end of the episode, Rocket was shot. During the traditional goodbyes, Rocket appeared sitting in a wheelchair and smoking a cigarette. With the rest of the cast surrounding him, Tilton asked him how he was feeling.

Here’s what happened:

“Oh, man.” Rocket said, “I’ve never been shot before. I wish I knew who the fuck did it.” It can be difficult to hear him in the video above but you can tell from the reactions of the cast that everyone immediately knew what Rocket had said.

This may not seem like a big deal today but this happened in 1981. This was before HBO started producing their own shows. This was before anyone had ever heard of a streaming service. This was when there was only three major networks and they were all closely watched by the FCC. Dropping an F-bomb on live television, with no tape delay or chance to bleep it out, was a big deal.

Later, Charles Rocket would say that he didn’t even realize what he had said. That could have been true but the look on his face after he said it suggests that Rocket was aware of what he was saying. Before Rocket said it, there had been reports that NBC was planning on firing the entire cast at the end of the season. Did Rocket make an honest mistake (one that has since been made a few more times by cast members and guests on SNL) or was he going out with a bang? Was this Rocket’s way of getting back at a network that didn’t appreciate him?

The reports about NBC planning to make changes were true, to an extent. The plan was to fire Doumanian and replace her with Dick Ebersol. Most of the cast was going to be fired but NBC was specifically planning on keeping the three performers who it was felt were the strongest members of the ensemble: Eddie Murphy, Joe Piscopo, and Charles Rocket! Needless to say, after Rocket’s bit of improvisation, NBC changed its mind.

At first, it seemed like the show itself might also get canceled as a result. In1981, the networks had to deal with people like Jerry Falwell leading crusades to cleans up network television. Just as Fredric Wertham once blamed juvenile delinquency on comic books, all sorts of problems were being blamed on television. Jean Doumanian was fired after one more episode, along with Charles Rocket, Gilbert Gottfried, and cast member Ann Risley. Tragically, Charles Rocket’s career never recovered from this moment. Today, it probably wouldn’t be as big a deal. NBC would get hit by a fine but the moment itself would go viral and lead to even bigger ratings. But in 1981, saying the F-word on national television was a career killer. Rocket did appear in several movies, usually playing smarmy villains. But he never reached the stardom that had been predicted for him and ended up taking his own life in 2005.

In the end, the only thing that saved Saturday Night Live was that the Writers Guild went on strike and production on every NBC show shut down. By the time the strike was settled, the season was over and Dick Ebersol had managed to convince NBC to let him keep the series going by focusing on Eddie Murphy and Joe Piscopo. When Saturday Night Live returned for its seventh season, Murphy was the undisputed center of the show. He achieved the stardom that had originally been predicted for Charles Rocket.

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Great Moments In Comic Book History #21: Captain America For President

Posted on February 21, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

In 1980, John Anderson was briefly a viable third party presidential candidate so it made sense that Marvel would come up with a storyline in which a group of activists attempt to convince Captain America to make a third party bid of his own. When The Daily Globe broke the news that Captain America was being courted by the New Populist Party, both the Democrats and the Republicans offered to nominate him. The Beast offered to be his campaign manager. (Imagine that!) The Wasp said that Captain America was the people’s choice. Iron Man warned that the red tape would get frustrating while the always logical Vision argued that, other than having a patriotic spirit, Captain America knew nothing about politics and international relations.

As a patriot, Captain America was tempted though, in typical Marvel fashion, his actual positions were kept vague. Ultimately, Cap turned down their offer because he felt that it was important that he remain above the pettiness of partisan politics. Captain America was meant to protect all the people of America, regardless of whether they voted for Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter, John Anderson, Ed Clark, Barry Commoner, or even Gus Hall!

(In the end, the activists approached the wrong Avenger. Despite what he told Cap, Iron Man would have done it in a heartbeat.)

A later issue of What If… revealed that, if Captain America had run, he would have easily been elected President. Then, he would have been assassinated because almost every issue of What If… ended with everyone dead. It’s a good thing he didn’t run. By not running, he not only saved his own life but he also set a precedent that has kept a countless number of super powered individual from taking the plunge into electoral politics. It didn’t stop J. Jonah Jameson from running for mayor of New York but I doubt anything could have.

Could Captain America win the election if he ran today? As a fictional character who has a history of making questionable decisions and who is now over a hundred years old, it’s doubtful. Despite what happened in What If, it was probably just as much of a lost cause in 1980. If Howard the Duck couldn’t beat Carter and Ford in 1976, it’s doubtful Captain America could have beaten both Reagan and Ed Clark in 1980. Still, who better to rebuild America than America himself?

Captain America Vol. 1 No. 250 (October, 1980)

“Cap President”

Writer(s) Roger Stern, Don Perlin, Roger McKenzie, Jim Shooter
Penciler(s) John Byrne, Ed Hannigan
Inker(s) Josef Rubinstein
Colorist(s) George Roussos
Letterer(s) Jim Novak
Editor(s) Jim Salicrup, Bob Budiansky

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Bad Medicine (1985, directed by Harvey Miller)

Posted on February 21, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

Jeff Marx (Steve Guttenberg) is a smart but lazy pre-med student whose grades are so bad that he can’t get accepted to any of the good medical schools. His father (Bill Macy), who is also a doctor and who wants Jeff to one day take over the family practice, arranges for Jeff to attend medical school in a fictional Central American country. The head of the school, Dr. Ramon Madera (Alan Arkin), is also the country’s dictator. Dr. Madera is happy to make money off of desperate Americans but he still enforces strict rules of behavior at the school. He also makes it clear that none of the medical students are to treat the poor villagers who live near the school.

When Jeff arrives at his new school, he discovers that his classmates are, like him, all screw-ups. They’re also played by a cast of actors who, like Guttenberg, epitomize the 80s ensemble comedy craze. Curtis Armstrong, of Revenge of the Nerds and Risky Business, plays Jeff’s best friend. Fast Times At Ridgemont High‘s Robert Romanus is the Italian medical student who is loved by all the ladies. Airplane!‘s Julie Haggerty is the idealistic medical student who wants to take care of the local villagers. Even Gilbert Gottfried is in this movie! He plays Dr. Madera’s main assistant and hatchet man.

Bad Medicine was released in between the first and the second Police Academy films and it basically tells the same sort of story that made those two films unlikely hits. Guttenberg and his fellow students start out as a screw-ups but, by the end of the movie, they’ve proven themselves as doctors. Perhaps because it was based on a novel that was written by an actual doctor, Bad Medicine is a little more sincere than Police Academy. In Police Academy, the scenes of the recruits doing police work were the biggest jokes of all and, even after he helped to save the city, you still never bought the idea that Steve Guttenberg would have stuck around after graduation so that he could wear a uniform and walk a beat everyday. Though Bad Medicine is full of the usual Police Academy-style hijinks, it doesn’t treat the work that the doctors are doing as a joke. Though regrettable stereotypes abound (this is a film that features Gilbert Gottfriend playing a character named Tony Sandoval, after all), Bad Medicine treats the villagers with respect. Guttenberg gives a relaxed and likable performance, without making Jeff into as much of a wiseass of Police Academy‘s Cary Mahoney. Julie Haggerty brings her usual spacey charm to her role. Not surprisingly, it’s Alan Arkin who steals the film, though you do have to wonder how Dr. Madera has time to run both a country and a medical school while also falling in love with Julie Haggerty. Give the man some credit for knowing how to multitask.

It ends, much like Police Academy, with the med students giving a chance to prove themselves in a crisis situation. Unlike Police Academy, Bad Medicine was not a hit at the box office, though it did make a small profit. As a result, there was never a Bad Medicine 2, which is unfortunate because we could always use more good doctors.

4 Shots From 4 Sam Peckinpah Films

Posted on February 21, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today would have been Sam Peckinpah’s 97th birthday. No one raised Hell like Peckinpah so in honor of the day and his legacy, here are 4 shots from 4 of my favorite Peckinpah films.

4 Shots From 4 Sam Peckinpah Films

Ride the High Country (1967, directed by Sam Peckinpah, Cinematography by Lucien Ballard)

The Wild Bunch (1969, directed by Sam Peckinpah, Cinematography by Lucien Ballard)

Straw Dogs (1971, directed by Sam Peckinpah, Cinematography by John Coquillon)

Bring Me The Head of Alfredo Garcia (1974, directed by Sam Peckinpah, Cinematography by Alex Phillips, Jr.)

Game Review: Locked Door V: Switched On (2022, Cody Gaisser)

Posted on February 20, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

Last week, when I played the fourth game in Cody Gaisser’s Locked Door series, I got bogged down in trying to figure out how to unlock a safe. It was a real case of “guess the verb.” Eventually, it turned out that I was guessing the right verb but I just wasn’t using it correctly in the game. Once I got the safe open, I was able to get the key from Bob, open the wooden door, and get that all important trophy!

It’s a good thing that I eventually figured out how to open that safe because I had to do it all over again in Locked Door V. That’s the way the Locked Door games work. Each game features the same locations and puzzles from the previous games, along with new rooms to explore and new puzzles to solve. Locked Door V also adds a new NPC, Rex the Dog. Rex follows you everywhere and says, “Arf!”

After all of the difficulty that I had during the fourth game, I was relieved that I had a much easier time with Locked Door V. It helped that I now knew how to open that safe. Locked Door V‘s biggest puzzle comes from exploring the newly added basement. Not only do you have to figure out how to make your way through a room that is completely dark but there’s also a puzzle that can only be solved by searching the rooms and being sure to pay attention to the details. Do that and you’ll get the trophy!

I enjoyed Locked Door V. Next week, I’ll see what Locked Door VI has in store for me!

Played Locked Door V: Switched On.

My 2022 Super Bowl Prediction

Posted on February 13, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

Bengals 27

Rams 24

It’s hard for me to make a prediction when Tom Brady isn’t playing the game. This is a new situation for me but I guess it’s one that we’re all going to have to get used to. I don’t know much about either team but I’m going with the Bengals because I like Cincinnati more than Los Angeles. The Bengals achieving their first Super Bowl win would be the perfect ending for a season that few saw coming.

The Rams are fierce, though. They’ll put up a good fight. I think this game could go either way but I’m picking the Bengals.

Great Moments In Comic Book History #20: Kickers Inc. Comes To The World Outside Your Window

Posted on February 13, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

“The world outside your window!”

That’s how the Marvel described it’s new line of comic books, New Universe, is 1986. The brainchild of Jim Shooter, New Universe was launched to celebrate the 25th anniversary of Marvel. Consisting of 8 titles that were specifically advertised as not being a part of the regular Marvel universe, New Universe was advertised as featuring heroes who existed in the real world and who dealt with real world issues. The plots would be realistic. There would be no aliens or superhuman technology. The superheroes would have powers but they would react to them in the same way that normal people would. The stories would play out in real time, with a month passing from issue to issue. It was the world outside your window! According to Marvel: The Untold Story by Sean Howe, no one other than Jim Shooter thought New Universe was a good idea and, as Shooter became more and more obsessed with the New Universe, artists like John Byrne grew to resent Shooter’s focus on it.

Among the New Universe titles released in 1986, there was Kickers, Inc. According to Kickers, Inc., the world outside your window featured a football team called The New York Smashers whose top players, after retiring from football, became a crime-fighting group called Kickers, Inc. They were led by Mr. Magnificent, who had super strength as the result of super technology (and who, therefore, featured two things that Jim Shooter said would not be present in the New Universe titles) and who became a hero after his brother was killed by gangsters who were tying to pressure Magnificent into throwing the Super Bowl. That may not sound much like the world outside your window but, of course, Kickers, Inc. was not originally created with New Universe in mind. Kickers, Inc. was originally envisioned as being a regular Marvel series but when Shooter learned about it, he insisted that it be modified into a New Universe title. Creator Tom DeFalco wasn’t interested in doing a realistic comic book series about superpowered football players and he left the book after only a 3 issues.

Like almost all of the New Universe titles, Kickers, Inc. was canceled after just 12 issues. It turned out that comic book readers, many of whom used comics to take a break from the real world, didn’t have much interest in super heroes existing in the world outside their window. Strangely, the promise that new popular Marvel characters would appear in the New Universe books didn’t bring readers over. (Again according to Sean Howe’s book, John Byrne and several other artists celebrated the death of the New Universe by gathering in Byrne’s backyard and setting a pile of New Universe books on fire.) The New Universe debacle led to Jim Shooter leaving Marvel but, despite it all, the New Universe and its characters have occasionally been revived over the years and the idea of exploring how the real world would react to the presence of super heroes is one that has run through not the MCU but instead the Snyderverse.

Kickers, Inc. may not have been a success but at least it gives us some idea of what may lay in store for whichever team loses the Super Bowl this year. The losing players may not leave with a super bowl championship but they may gain an entirely new career opportunity.

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Great Moments In Television History #16: Maude Flanders Gets Hit By A T-Shirt Cannon

Posted on February 13, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

Twenty-two years ago, on this very date, this happened on The Simpsons:

Today, it is easy to forget what an impact the death of Maude Flanders had on viewers. We are now used to semi-regular characters dying on TV shows and, of course, no one really cares that much about The Simpsons any more.

In 2000, though, this was a big deal. There were weeks of speculation over which Simpsons character would die, though most of us figured that it would be Maude Flanders early on. Maude had never been a major character, as Rev. Lovejoy pointed out in his eulogy. Plus, the actress that voice Maude, Maggie Roswell, had left the show. (Roswell later returned.) At the time, killing Maude was a controversial move, especially as she died as a result of Homer acting like a jerk. (Then again, everything that ever happened in Springfield was a result of Homer acting like a jerk.) Some critics complained that the show treated her death too cavalierly and that such morbid subject matter did not belong on a show like The Simpsons. But, as the show’s producers pointed out, the death of Maude also opened the door for new storylines involving Ned Flanders and, as a result, Ned became one of the few characters on the show to actually grow as a person.

Even though Ned was invented to act as a foil to Homer and he’s been the victim of some lazy writing (especially in the more recent season), Ned Flanders has a dedicated fan base and a lot it is due to him being one of the few people in Springfield to actually show any sort of decency on a consistent basis. That Homer is incapable of understanding that Ned is the only person (outside of the family) that he can depend on is one of the show’s best and longest-running jokes. As a character, Ned was at his best when he was coming to terms with Maude’s death, learning how to date again, and even forgiving Homer for the role he played in the tragedy. (Homer never really seemed to realize that it was all his fault. Typical Homer.) The show deserved more than a little credit for how it handled the fallout of Maude’s death, from Rod and Todd’s sadness to Ned’s very temporary loss of faith. Over the upcoming years, Ned Flanders went to marry Edna Krapapple and, after the passing of Carol Wallace, became a widower for a second time.

One final note: Marvin Monroe later turned out to be alive so I wonder who was buried in his grave at teh cemetery.

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Game Review: Locked Door IV (2022, Cody Gaisser)

Posted on February 12, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

Once again, you are in a white room, with locked door that needs to be unlocked. Actually, there are two this time. There are other exits that are not locked and which lead to other areas that were not featured in the previous Locked Room games. Search the warehouse. Examine the garden. Or talk to Bob, who is again standing in the room and holding a key that he won’t just hand over.

Safety in Numbers is the fourth Locked Room game. Again, the aim is simple. Give Bob something he wants. Get that key. Unlock that door. Get your trophy. But this time, there are more rooms to explore. There are extra puzzles to be solved. And there is a safe that needs to be opened. Finding the combination for the safe should be easy. Any experienced IF player will know where to look. Using that combination to unlock the safe is much less easy. As much as I appreciate what the Locked Door games are doing, the fourth entry leads to one of the most frustrating cases of “guess the verb” that I’ve ever come across. Turn, set, spin, what the Hell am I supposed to do with this dial?

Play Locked Door IV and let know if you figure it out.