Game Review: You May Not Escape! (2022, Charm Cochran)

Posted on October 11, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

You are trapped in a maze. You’re not sure why you are walking through this maze or why it is so difficult to find a way out. At the start of the maze, a man named John Everyman offers to help you out but if he doesn’t think you’re being properly appreciative, he’ll leave you to figure it out on your own.

Try to make your way through the maze without getting lost. I’ve played this game a few times. It’s not easy. It’s even a little creepy. Stop and relax on a park bench but don’t fall asleep. Climb a tree and discover a homey place to rest but watch out for the rain and the lightning. Then there’s the graveyard. Three of the graves are filled. The fourth is waiting for you. Find some rocks. Break the security cameras and the LED signs that flash messages at you. It’ll make you feel better but it won’t get you out of the maze. At one point, you’re even given the chance to accept that the game is over. Will you accept or will you keep searching?

You May Not Escape! was designed using Inform and it’s a throwback to the classic text adventures that I used to play when I was a kid. Even the puzzle feels like a throwback. Can you navigate a maze? How many times to Scott Adams go back to that well? But You May Not Escape! is much more difficult and rewarding than the old games that it resmebles. This game requires some thinking. It requires some imagination. It requires that the player pay attention to what they’re reading. The game is well-written and I appreciated all the little details that made the maze so memorable. I especially liked the LED tickers the spelled out messages that were either menacing or encouraging, depending on how you read them. You May Not Escape! is challenging but rewarding.

Play You May Not Escape!

Music Video of the Day: Fear No Evil by Grim Reaper (1985, directed by ????)

Posted on October 11, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

This was the second Grim Reaper video to be watched and commented upon by Beavis and Butt-Head. The only difference was that, opposed to See You In Hell, the band actually requested that Mike Judge roast this video. They were definitely good sports about that whole thing, unlike a certain singer named Kip Winger.

Here are Beavis and Butt-Head, with their thoughts:

Enjoy!

The Munsters (2022, directed by Rob Zombie)

Posted on October 10, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

Have you ever wondered how Herman and Lily Munster came to live at 1313 Mockingbird Lane?

No?

That’s too bad, because Rob Zombie is going to tell you anyways.

Rob Zombie’s The Munsters is a prequel to the 60s sitcom of the same name. It shows how Herman Munster (Jeff Daniel Phillips) came to be created, how he became a Rob Zombie-style rock star, and how he overcame the opposition of the Count (Daniel Roebuck) and married Lily (Sheri Moon Zombie). It also shows how Lily’s brother, Lester (Tomas Boykin), tricked Herman into signing over the deed for the Count’s castle in Transylvania. There’s not much of a plot but there was never much of a plot when it came to the original sitcom either. Just like the show that the movie is based on, The Munsters exists to show classic monsters making corny jokes and freaking out at the prospect of dealing with what the rest of the world considers to be normalcy. Unlike the multi-faceted Addams Family, The Munsters have always been a one-joke family.

There have always been elements of satire and subversive humor in everything that Rob Zombie has done, as both a musician and a director. Those who claim that Rob Zombie does not have a sense of humor are mistaken. However, the comedy in The Munsters is deliberately broad and vaudevillian, like the show on which the movie is based. As a director, Zombie doesn’t always seem to know how to best present that type of humor. The Munsters is the rare movie that would have benefitted from a laugh track because the jokes are definitely sitcom-level. They were designed to be followed by canned laughter. Zombie’s affection for the material and the characters come through and the deliberately artificial production and costume design actually works better than I was expecting but, at nearly two hours, The Munsters often feels directionless.

Jeff Daniel Phillips and Daniel Roebuck do adequate imitations of Fred Gwynne and Al Lewis, respectively, but its Sheri Moon Zombie who steals the show, bringing a lot of mischievous energy to Lily. Of the principle cast, Sheri Moon Zombie is the only one makes her character feel like something more than just a tribute to an old sitcom. The camera loves her and she convinces us that she loves Herman, no matter how childishly he behaves.

One final note: Sylvester McCoy — the seventh doctor, himself! — plays the Count’s assistant, Igor. McCoy doesn’t get to do much but it was still good to see him. Igor was the type of role that Tom Baker used to specialize in before he was cast as the Fourth Doctor. By casting McCoy as Igor, it almost felt as if Zombie was keeping the role in the family.

Game Review: Crash (2022, Phil Riley)

Posted on October 10, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

Here you are, a member of the Repair Corps. When a spaceship docks at Space Station Omicron-5, your job is to repair the appliances and make sure that everything is in ship-shape condition while the crew relaxes and does whatever they have to do on the station.

It’s like they say in the song:

Just another face in a red jumpsuit.
He did a good job cleaning up the place,
But his bosses didn’t like him
So they shot him into space.

Except, in this case, it’s not your bosses who send you into space. Instead, it’s the fact that the space station explodes while you’re getting ready to leave the ship! Now, the ship is hurtling through space and you’re the only one who can figure out the proper way to stop it before it crashes.

Crash is a classic-style text adventure, programmed with my favorite Interactive Fiction development system, Inform. What that means is that you pretty much have complete control over what the main character does on the ship. Walk where you want to walk. Examine what you want to examine. Try what you want to try. Just know that time is running out. Crash is well-written but it’s also puzzle-heavy. That won’t be a problem for most people but, for someone like me who sucks at puzzles, it can be daunting. Fortunately, the game comes with a built-in hint system. Also, when you’re usually terrible at puzzles, that means you feel even more triumphant when you actually manage to solve one of them.

(Even if you did have to ask for a lot of hints.)

Be sure to ask the computer a lot of questions. This game has an in-depth backstory and it’s actually interesting to learn all of it. You’re just a repairman but suddenly, you’re in the middle of a galactic conflict. It’s the sort of set-up that has led to many classic sci-fi tales.

Play Crash.

Happy Birthday, David Lee Roth!

Posted on October 10, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

David Lee Roth, the greatest rock frontman of the 80s, is celebrating his 68th birthday! Here’s hoping that wherever Diamond Dave is right now, it’s just like paradise!

Music Video of the Day: Bed of Nails by Alice Cooper (1989, directed by Nigel Dick)

Posted on October 10, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

Bed of Nails is from Alice Cooper’s 11th studio album, Trash. It was the album’s second most successful single, despite not even being released as a single in the U.S. Maybe some of that success was due to this music video, in which Alice the singer performs over and in a bed of nails while women in leather walk through the studio and play the cello.

This video was directed by Nigel Dick, who directed videos for anyone who was anyone. If Nigel Dick has not done a video for you, you are not really a rock star.

Enjoy!

Great Moments In Television History #24: Siskel and Ebert Recommend Horror Films

Posted on October 9, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

Film critics Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel were not usually thought of as being fans of the horror genre, with Gene going so far as to tell his viewers to write to Betsy Palmer to tell her how upset they were over her appearing in Friday the 13th.

Despite this, in 1988, Siskel and Ebert devoted an entire episode of their show to recommending horror films that they felt were overlooked when first released. And I have to say, they actually mentioned some good ones.

From 1988, Siskel and Ebert discuss “hidden horrors:”

Previous Moments In Television History:

Great Moments In Comic Book History #28: Iron Man Meets Thanos and Drax The Destroyer

Posted on October 9, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

50 years ago, in Iron Man #55, both Drax the Destroyer and Thanos made their first appearances.

Iron Man #55 opens with Drax the Destroyer being held prisoner on Thanos’s mobile prison planet. This Drax is far different from the Drax who became famous as a result of being a part of the MCU. This Drax is a former Earthling who was killed by Thanos but then resurrected and given one mission, to kill Thanos. There’s nothing funny, not even unintentionally, about his Drax. Knowing that Drax will not stop until he has destroyed him, Thanos has chained Drax up and spends his spare time taunting him. Just because Thanos is evil, that doesn’t make him smart.

Drax sends out a mental message to Iron Man, despite the fact that he and Iron Man have never met. Tony Stark agrees to help Drax because Drax’s messages are so powerful that Tony can’t even attend a business meeting. After suiting up as Iron Man, Stark flies out to Thanos’s prison planet. Along the way, Drax tells him the abbreviated details of Thanos’s origin and Thanos’s love of death.

Iron Man’s fist meeting with Thanos is not particularly auspicious.

Thanos thinks so little of Iron Man that he assigns the moronic aliens known as the Blood Brothers to battle Iron Man. Iron Man is able to free Drax, the Blood Brothers are easily defeated, and Thanos makes a hasty retreat. Drax thanks Iron Man, shakes his hand, and then heads after Thanos. And I suppose Iron Man gets back to Earth somehow.

Thanos and Drax were created by Jim Starlin, who wasn’t even Iron Man’s regular writer. When the planned story for Iron Man #55 ended up running behind schedule, Starlin was assigned to create a filler story. Thanos and Drax were both characters that Starlin had invented for a planned-but-never-written sci-fi epic in college. Starlin reused them and their origins in Iron Man #55.

Though thrown together at the last minute, Iron Man #55 predicted the future of Marvel in a way that, even at the time, few realized. When Starlin took over Captain Marvel, he reused both Drax and Thanos and crafted an epic space opera that was later reused during phase one of the MCU. For all the credit that was given to Kevin Feige, the Russo brothers, Stan Lee, and countless others, the MCU owes much of its success to Jim Starlin.

And it all began with Iron Man #55 running behind schedule.

IRON MAN #55 (October, 1972)
Writer: Jim Starlin/Mike Friedrich
Penciler: Jim Starlin
Inker: Mike Esposito
Letterer: John Costanza
Editor: Roy Thomas

Previous Great Moments In Comic Book History:

Ed and His Dead Mother (1993, directed by Jonathan Wacks)

Posted on October 9, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

After the death of his mother (Miriam Margoyles), shy Ed (Steve Buscemi) inherits the family hardware store. Even though Ed now has his own business and maybe even a chance at having a relationship with Storm Reynolds (Sam Jenkins), Ed simply cannot leave the memory of his mother behind. One day, he is approached by a salesman named A.J. Peddle (John Glover). Peddle explains that he can bring Ed’s mother back to life for a thousand dollars. Ed agrees and soon, Ed’s mother is once again living with Ed and Ed’s Uncle Benny (Ned Beatty). Benny is upset because he doesn’t think that it’s proper to tamper in matters of morality and he never liked his sister to begin but, at first, Ed is happy to have her back. However, Ed soon discovers that his mother has changed now that she’s come back to life. She now has a craving for blood and soon, she’s chasing the neighborhood dogs while holding a knife. Ed’s mom has returned as a zombie! Can Ed finally move on and commit to sending his mother back to the grave?

This quirky comedy came out in 1993, a few years too early to take advantage of either the zombie boom or the horror comedy boom. The movie never really find the right balance between scares and laughs. The script is full of funny lines and Steve Buscemi and Ned Beatty are a good comedic team but the direction is as flat and as lifeless as Ed’s mom before she was resurrected. Today, the movie is mostly interesting as a precursor for later trends in horror. It’s also a chance to see Steve Buscemi is rare starring role. Buscemi is ideally cast as the gentle Ed, who eventually learns the importance of letting go, accepting death, and moving on. Buscemi is good, even in a misfire like this one.

Just two years after starring in this movie, Buscemi would appear on Homicide: Life on the Streets, playing a white supremacist murderer named Gordon Pratt. Among the detectives assigned to arrest Pratt was Stanley Bolander, played by Ned Beatty. As far as I know, that’s the only other pairing of Buscemi and Beatty and there wasn’t much to laugh about in that episode of Homicide. It’s too bad because, judging from their interactions in this movie, Ned Beatty and Steve Buscemi could have been one of the great comedy teams.

Thanatophobia (2022, Robert Goodwin)

Posted on October 9, 2022 by Jedadiah Leland

Maddie is a 20 year-old girl who suffers from Thanatophobia, a morbid fear of death. You are the hypnotherapist who, after a chance meeting, helps her come to terms with her fears. After you have put her under hypnosis, Maddie tells you that she is standing in a hallway and there is a hooded figure behind her. No matter where she goes, the hooded figure is always there. She needs you to figure out who the hooded figure represents and also how Maddie can get away from it.

Maddie is a chatbot. You type in questions and she answers. It’s like that old Eliza game except that some of the questions will lead to Maddue discussing her past and revealing her secrets. It’s a challenging game but it does come with just enough hints that most players should eventually be able to figure out how to help Maddie. The biggest hint that I can gives is that, just like with a real person, Maddie sometimes has to be asked the same question multiple times before she’ll open up.

Chatbot games are always hit-and-miss for me but Thantophobia does a pretty good job of simulating a real conversation and Maddie comes across as being a real person instead of a bot with several pre-programmed responses. The game is challenging but the mystery can be solved and Maddie can be helped. In fact, Maddie’s answers are so well-written that I actually felt really proud of myself when I finally helped her get out of the hallway.

Play Thanatophobia.