F*ck Off, Graham

Last night, Graham Platner announced that he is “suspending” his campaign for the U.S. Senate.

I don’t live in Maine, and I absolutely hate it when out-of-staters start talking about Texas politics. So I’ve kept my feelings to myself, but what the hell — I might as well say it now. None of the stuff that has come out about Graham Platner has taken me by surprise. I felt like I pretty much knew who he was as soon as I saw him in his underwear, drunk and making someone else’s wedding reception all about him. Every woman has known a Graham Platner. He’s the guy who has a big personality, who says all the right stuff, and who seems to be just troubled enough to fool you into thinking you can save him. He’s the guy who always has to be the center of attention, the guy who always thinks he’s right, and the guy who has a thousand sob stories to make you feel guilty for ever doubting him. No one has any right to claim to have been shocked to discover who Graham Platner actually was.

He’s a forgotten figure today, but this whole Platner thing reminds me of Aaron Coleman, the 20-year-old DSA kid who, in 2020, narrowly defeated an incumbent in a primary for the Kansas House. The Intercept promoted him as a future leader of America.

After he won the primary, it turned out that Coleman had a history of abusing his girlfriends and was once arrested for threatening to shoot up his school. Like Platner, he blamed the whole thing on PTSD and basically had a dramatic sob story for every accusation. He was asked to withdraw, but unlike Platner, he refused.

Coleman won because he was running in a blue district and no Republican had bothered to file for the general election. He did a lot of bragging when he won the election, but he was such a toxic figure that no one was willing to work with him, and his district was basically left without effective representation for two years. He served one totally disastrous term and then received only 13% of the vote when he ran for reelection.

Platner has suspended his campaign, though he has yet to file the paperwork to make his withdrawal official. He released an 11-minute video last night. Sitting through the entire thing is not easy. Platner rants that the accusations against him are false and says he’s been set up by “the system” and “the political establishment.” If that’s the case, why drop out? If your entire movement is about fighting the system, why would you surrender the minute the system fights back?

Democrats are going to hold a convention to pick a new nominee. Here’s my unpopular opinion: I don’t think they should be allowed to pick a new nominee. 73% of the Democratic primary voters cast their ballots for a man who had a Nazi tattoo for several years and who was credibly accused of abuse even before the primary. My feeling is that if you’re dumb enough to vote for a Graham Platner or a Roy Moore, then you should deal with the consequences of your stupidity. You don’t get a do-over. Sorry.

Watching Platner’s video, I noticed how angry he was. If there’s any self-reflection going on, it wasn’t evident. Platner seems like one of those guys who is going to end up becoming a perennial third-party candidate. Everyone who made excuses for him in 2026 and who claimed that his scandals were actually evidence of his “authenticity” will pretend they never supported him.

Senator Patrick Dempsey?

One of the stranger moments during the whole Platner mess was when it was revealed that some Democrats were trying to recruit actor Patrick Dempsey to run for the now-open nomination. Dempsey declined, even though it’s not as if he’s got much else going on right now. (McDreamy died over 11 years ago.)

It’s not uncommon to see actors mentioned as political candidates. I’m always a little disappointed when they don’t take the plunge.

John Travolta also lives in Maine. Just saying.

Big Brother Is Back

Big Brother premieres tonight, and after a lot of thought, I’ve decided I’m going to try to watch this season. I don’t know if I’m going to write about it yet. If I do write about it, you’ll be able to find my thoughts at the Reality TV Chat Blog.

That’s It for Now

There’ll be less politics in my thoughts next week, I promise!