Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 2.2 “The Volunteers”

Posted on April 29, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee!

This week, we’ve got ourselves a convoy!

Episode 2.2 “The Volunteers”

(Dir by John Florea, originally aired on September 23rd, 1978)

After a high-speed chase causes a robbery suspect to crash his car into a chemical storage facility (which subsequently explodes), three truckers have to get their trucks full of chlorine gas to the next available facility. Unfortunately, it’s a 170-mile drive over rough terrain and it’s a very hot day. If the gas gets to hot, it’ll explode. If It doesn’t get to the storage facility in time, it’ll explode. In fact, it appears that just about anything can make chlorine gas explode. Californians might love chlorine for their pool but they don’t want it in the air.

Getraer assigns Ponch, Baker, Baricza, and Jane Turner to escort the trucks to the facility. Jane Turner (Rana Ford) is a new member of the highway patrol. She drives a squad car and she’s the first woman and only the second black person who we’ve seen working for the highway patrol on this show. She doesn’t really do much in this episode and, about halfway through, she breaks off from the main group to help deal with a highway pile-up. For that matter, Getraer and Baricza end up vanishing as well. As usual, it’s all on Ponch and Baker.

Despite the danger of a chemical spill killing the population of Los Angeles county, Ponch spends most of this episode trying to get laid. The episode opens with him leering at a jogging stewardess (Anna Upstrom) and then bragging about how he has a date with her later that night.

“She doesn’t smoke, drink, or dance,” Ponch says.

“What are you two going to do?” Baker earnestly asks.

Ponch arches his eyebrow and grins.

But Ponch is soon distracted by one of the truck drivers, a woman named Robbie Davis (Katherine Cannon), who is quick to yell that not only can she drive a truck but she can vote as well. Ponch arches his eyebrow and grins. Baker gets in on the action by saying, “Prettiest little truck driver I’ve ever seen.”

Robbie’s father (Tige Andrews) and the other trucker (Sam Brodie) all totally think Robbie should hook up with Ponch but they’re still amused when, late in the episode, Ponch accepts a ride from a blonde in a convertible. Ponch arches and eyebrow and grins as he gets in the car. WE GET IT, PONCH!

It’s not easy transporting chlorine gas. Along with rough desert terrain, there’s also a group of beer-drinking rednecks who drive by in a pickup truck and threaten to shoot one of the tanks. All of that drunk driving leads to another multi-car pile-up. For some reason, one of the vehicles in the pile-up was transporting a tiger, which promptly gets loose and enters a grocery store. Ponch and Baker grab raw meat from the butcher’s station and use it to trick the tiger into entering an office. After they shut the door, the owner of the store yells at them for wasting meat. There’s also a town puts up a roadblock to keep the trucks from coming through because they don’t want chlorine gas getting into the air. And then there’s an avalanche, which causes chlorine gas to leak out of Robbie’s truck, sending her to the hospital.

Considering everything that happens in this episode, it’s odd that it all feels rather boring. The best episodes of CHiPs focus on fast motorcycles and beautiful scenery. This episode featured slow-moving trucks and the desert. Bleh. I hate the desert. This episode also featured a lot of interaction between Robbie, her father, and their friend. In fact, they were so prominently featured that it wouldn’t surprise me if this episode was meant to be a backdoor pilot for a trucking show. (This episode aired in 1978, which was a big year for trucker movies.) But the Davis family just wasn’t that interesting.

This episode didn’t really capture my attention. Hopefully, next week will see a return of fast bikes and nice scenery.

The Films of 2024: Mea Culpa (dir by Tyler Perry)

Posted on April 29, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s another year and that means it’s time for another bad melodrama from Tyler Perry.

In Mea Culpa, Kelly Rowland plays Mea Harper, an Atlanta defense attorney who is hired to defend Zyair Malloy (Trevante Rhodes, delivering his lines with all of the passion of a first generation chatbot) against the charge that he murdered one of his many girlfriend. Zyair is an artist, so he lives in a loft with an open elevator and a lot of mood lighting. He’s been accused of not only murdering his ex but also using her blood and teeth in one of his paintings. Protestors gather outside of a gallery showing his work and chant, “We hate Zyair! We hate Zyair!”

Mea just happens to be the sister-in-law of Ray (Nick Sagar), the assistant district attorney who feels that prosecuting Zyair Malloy will be his ticket to the mayor’s office. Mea’s entire family tells her that she needs to drop Zyair as a client and support her brother-in-law’s ambitions. However, Mea doesn’t like her family. Her cancer-stricken mother-in-law (Kerry O’Malley) is always talking how she wishes her youngest son had married someone else. Mea’s husband, Kal (Sean Sagar), is a total wimp who doesn’t even have the guts to tell everyone that he lost his job and had to go to drug rehab.

Soon Zyair is hitting on Mea and trying to get her into his bed so that he can paint her. Mea tries to resist but when she finds evidence that Kal has been going to a hotel with Ray’s wife, she gives in. Except — uh oh! — it appears that there was a perfectly innocent explanation for the visit to the hotel!

Much like A Fall From Grace, Mea Culpa tries to be enjoyably sordid but it’s actually just dull. You would think that, after 13 films, Perry would have finally learned something about both pacing and how to direct actors but Mea Culpa moves at a snail’s pace and it features some of the worst acting that I’ve ever seen. The final third of the film features a few surprise twists but the plot also features so many unbelievable coincidences that even a crazy twist can’t save the film from being forgettable.

Tyler Perry is an interesting figure on the American pop culture landscape. On the one hand, he’s a talented character actor. One need only rewatch Gone Girl to see how good an actor Tyler Perry can be when he’s not directing himself. And, as tempting as it may be, one should not discount the fact that his films and his television series have made a lot of money. Despite what the critics might say, Tyler Perry does have an audience and apparently, he understands what they want. Tyler Perry has also provided jobs and opportunities for blacks behind and in front of the camera. Perry makes films featuring blacks playing something more than just the comedic relief or the best friend of a white person and, again, the importance of that should not be discounted.

On the other hand, Tyler Perry is a not-particularly imaginative director and a heavy-handed writer and Mea Culpa is more evidence of that. As much as one might want to find something praiseworthy about him as a cinematic artist, the fact of the matter is that even Tyler Perry’s “good” films, like A Jazzman’s Blues, aren’t so much good as they’re just not quite as bad as usual. Given his success and the struggle that blacks have faced trying to move up in the American film industry, I think that everyone would like for Tyler Perry to be a good director but he’s not. He’s a good actor and a good businessman but as a director, Mea Culpa is all too typical of his output.

Monday Live Tweet Alert: Join Us For The Way Back!

Posted on April 29, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in hosting a few weekly live tweets on twitter and occasion ally Mastodon. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of Mastodon’s #MondayActionMovie ! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We snark our way through it.

After we finish up this week’s #MondayActionMovie on Mastodon, we will be hopping over to twitter where #MondayMuggers will be showing 2020’s The Way Back! The film is on Prime and it starts at 10 pm et!

It should make for a night of fun viewing and I invite all of you to join in. If you want to join the live tweets, just hop onto Mastodon, pull up Cage on YouTube, start the movie at 8 pm et, and use the #MondayActionMovie hashtag! Then switch over to twitter, pull The Way Back up on Prime, and use the #MondayMuggers hashtag!

Enjoy!

The Lone Hand Texan (1947, directed by Ray Nazarro)

Posted on April 29, 2024 by Jedadiah Leland

Oil’s been discovered on the Texas frontier and Sam Jason (Fred Sears) has got the rights to several wells. Someone in town keeps sabotaging his operations and blowing up his oil wells. Sam sends a telegram to his old friend, Steve Driscoll (Charles Starrett). Steve shows up in town to help Sam set up his business. Meanwhile, Steve’s alter ego, the masked Durango Kid, works to discover who has been targeting Sam.

This is actually more of a Smiley Burnette movie than a Durango Kid film. As always, Smiley is the Kid’s sidekick in the movie. Smiley owns a general store and he’s the towns postmaster. Everywhere Smiley goes, he is followed by two musicians, Mustard and Gravy. Smiley sings even more songs than usual in this movie and he even has a brief romance with the local widow (Mary Newton), who unfortunately is also behind the efforts to drive Sam out of business. Smiley may be the sidekick but he gets more screentime than the Durango Kid in The Lone Hand Texan and he does a mighty fine job with it.

One of the curious things about The Lone Hand Texan is that one of the bad guys also decides to wear a mask and claim to be The Durango Kid. I wish the movie has done more with that because I have never really understood why Steve feels like he has to pretend to be Durango in the first place. It’s not as if it’s difficult to recognize Steve, even when he’s wearing a mask. I have never understood why no one in his movies ever notices that you never see Steve and the Durango Kid in the same place at the same time. Even Lois Lane should have been able to figure out Durango’s secret identity.

The Lone Hand Texas is a standard Durango Kid outing, albeit not as dependent on stock footage as some of Durango’s other films. Smiley gets to do more than usual, which is the only thing that really sets it apart. As with most of the Durango Kid films, it will be best appreciated by those who are already fans.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.12 “Phil the Shill”

Posted on April 29, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

The Vice Squad goes after Phil Collins!

Episode 2.11 “Phil the Shill”

(Dir by John Nicolella, originally aired on December 13th, 1985)

Switek and Zito call in sick so that they can go to the taping of a silly game show called Rat Race. While Zito sits in the audience, Switek answers trivia questions about Elvis and competes in an obstacle course race with his spacey opponent (Emo Phillips). Hosting the show is the very effusive and very British Phil Mayhew (Phil Collins).

As we already know, Switek knows everything about Elvis. And he’s in better shape than Emo Phillips so, when it comes time for the obstacle course, he reaches and hits his buzzer first. But Switek’s buzzer doesn’t go off. Emo’s buzzer works and Emo proceeds to robotically recite a complex string of Elvis trivia.

To his horror, Switek realizes that the quiz show was fixed!

Switek and Zito decide that they want to take down Phil and reveal his con artist ways. Unfortunately, for them, the rest of the Squad doesn’t care. Crockett, in particular, is annoyed that Switek pretended to be sick to get a night off of work. However, it then turns out that Phil has hooked up with Sarah MacPhail (Kyra Sedgwick), the girlfriend and business partner of Tony Rivers (Michael Margotta), a drug dealer that Crockett has spent months trying to set up.

It’s time to call in Izzy and have him pretend to be an interior decorator so that Phil can be tricked into throwing a party that can be attended by …. SONNY BURNETT AND RICO COOPER! Listen, I know I mention that a lot but I just can’t let it go …. how are Sonny and Rico able to maintain their undercover identities when they’re constantly arresting major drug dealers and taking part in DEA busts? How come it never occurs to the criminals that dealer Sonny Burnett might have something in common with cop Sonny Crockett? Does no one ever notice that Sonny Burnett drives the same car and wears the same white suit as Sonny Crockett?

This was a bit of an odd episode. It was obviously written so that Phil Collins (whose In The Air Tonight set the mood for the entire series) could play Phil Mayhew. And while Phil Collins does not appear to have been an actor of amazing range, he still does a good job as the weaselly Phil Mayhew. The Phil scenes are played for humor while the scenes with Tony Rivers definitely are not. Tony is a violent sociopath who casually kills several people over the course of the episode. Scenes of Switek pouting about the game show feel awkward when combined with scenes of Tony machine gunning two drug dealers. Collins does a good job within his range and Michael Margotta is an energetic villain. However, the best performance in this episode actually comes from Kyra Sedgwick, who does a great job as someone who eventually turns out to be just as ruthless and dangerous her boyfriend.

This is a fast-paced and energetic episode, one that moves quickly enough that the viewer doesn’t really have time to consider the oddness of Phil Mayhew getting involved with the same drug dealer that Crockett happens to be investigating. Personally, I’m always happy when the members of the supporting cast get to do something more than just stand in the background. Switek and Zito are a good team.

Disney returns to the Pride Lands in the Mufasa: The Lion King Trailer!

Posted on April 29, 2024 by Leonard Wilson

Disney’s Mufasa: The Lion King adds a new bit of Movie Trivia in the world. As it stands, James Earl Jones has voiced two characters (the other being Darth Vader, of course) that have had prequels created for them. I’m hoping that Universal decides to give us that Thulsa Doom backstory we all know we’re secretly longing for.

Despite not asking for a prequel, the trailer looks pretty good. Mufasa doesn’t appear to be of any special lineage, but that makes one wonder how he became the King of Pride Rock. Barry Jenkins (Moonlight, If Beale Street Could Talk) brings together some talent in John Kani, Seth Rogen, Mads Mikkelsen, Thandiwe Newton, Donald Glover, Aaron Pierre, and Billy Eichner. The film also introduces Blue Ivy Carter, along with her mom, Beyonce Knowles-Carter. With music by Lin-Manuel Miranda (Moana, In the Heights), this should be interesting.

Mufasa: The Lion King premieres this December.

Monday Live Tweet Alert: Join Us For CAGE!

Posted on April 29, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in hosting a few weekly live tweets on twitter and occasionally Mastodon. I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of Mastodon’s #MondayActionMovie ! Every week, we get together. We watch a movie. We snark our way through it.

Tonight, for #MondayActionMovie, the film will be 1989’s Cage, starring Lou Ferrigno and birthday boy Reb Brown! I picked it so you know it’ll be good.

It should make for a night of fun viewing and I invite all of you to join in. If you want to join the live tweets, just hop onto Mastodon, find the link to the video under my account, hit play at 8 pm et, and use the #MondayActionMovie hashtag! The live tweet community is a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Fred Zinnemann Edition

Posted on April 29, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

117 years ago, on this date, Fred Zinnemann was born in what is now Poland. Though he originally considered studying to become a lawyer, a teenage Zinnemann instead became fascinated with the relatively new medium of film. He immigrated to the United States in 1928, hoping to find more opportunities as an aspiring director. After working as an actor and crew member on several films, Zinnemann made his directorial debut in 1936.

His film career was span 50 years, during which time Zinnemann became known for making films about strong individuals who refused to back down in the face of societal pressure. In total, his films received 65 Oscar nominations and won 24. Zinnemann was nominated ten times and won three Oscars. Two of his films, From Here To Eternity and A Man For All Seasons, won best picture. While many of his contemporaries were retiring or fading into irrelevance, Zinnemann remained an important director throughout the 70s and early 80s.

Today, we honor the legacy of Fred Zinnemann with….

4 Shots From 4 Fred Zinnemann Films

High Noon (1952, dir by Fred Zinnemann, DP: Floyd Crosby)

From Here To Eternity (1953, dir by Fred Zinnemann, DP: Floyd Crosby and Burnett Guffey)

A Man For All Seasons (1966, dir by Fred Zinnemann, DP: Ted Moore)

The Day of the Jackal (1973, dir by Fred Zinnemann, DP: Jean Tournier)

Scenes That I Love: Reb Brown in Space Mutiny

Posted on April 29, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Yell it loud …. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, REB BROWN!

Reb Brown, the star of some of the loudest movies ever made, is 76 years old today but I bet he could still beat the evil doers and encourage us all by shouting, “Go! Go! Go!” A former college football player turned actor, Reb Brown holds the distinction of being one of the first actors to play Captain America and for also starring in classic films like Yor Hunter of the Future, Strike Commando and Strike Commando 2. Though he may not have ever become a household name, Reb Brown is a beloved figure amongst my circle of film-loving friends.

The scene below is from 1988’s Space Mutiny and it featured Reb doing what Red does best.