Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Vinnie Barbarino runs for president!

Episode 1.5 “The Election”

(Dir by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on October 7th, 1975)

At their apartment, Gabe asks Julie if he ever told her about the time that he thought he was adopted.  Julie, looking very concerned, tells Gabe that he has never told her about that.  Gabe replies that he was worried until the night of his high school graduation, when his father, Ling Ping, told him that he was not adopted.  Julie is very amused, especially when Gabe imitates Ling Ping’s accent.  It was 1975.

Speaking of 1975, America was in the early days of the ’76 presidential election when this episode aired.  On the Republican side, Richard Nixon had resigned.  Gerald Ford was President but was being challenged for the nomination by Ronald Reagan.  On the Democrat side, Ted Kennedy’s refusal to say whether or not he was running left the party feeling as if they had been driven off a bridge and left to drown.  Dull Henry Jackson and racist George Wallace were the front runners, even though an obscure and not particularly well-regarded governor named James Carter was insisting that people should give him a look.  My point is that it was a political time and it’s not surprising that this episode of Welcome Back, Kotter reflected that.

How did the show reflect that?  By having Vinnie Barbarino run for student body president!

Epstein is Vinnie’s campaign manager, which means that he spends his time hanging out in the hallway and threatening people until they say they’ll vote for Vinnie.

Washington is Vinnie’s press secretary and happily shows off his ability to avoid taking a definite stand on any issue.

And Vinnie’s slogan?  Vote for Vinne and nobody gets hurt.

“I’m a law and order candidate,” Vinnie explains, “I make the laws and I give the orders.”

Running against Vinnie is Scott Phillips, the president of the Debate club and Judy Borden who, according to Horseshack and Epstein, “is so fat that last year, she ran for homecoming queen and was elected the float.”  Perhaps realizing that the election is not going to make his remedial class look like the future upstanding citizens that he claims they are, Kotter encourages Barbarino to run a real campaign, one that will make people reconsider the way that they view the Sweathogs.

“If elected,” Barbarino says, “there will be less homework.”

“How are you going to keep that promise?” Kotter asks.

“If I’m president, I’m going to do less homework.”

Unfortunately, Vinnie gets tired of Kotter pressuring him to take the election seriously and he decides to withdraw as a candidate.  No sooner has the bell rang and the Sweathogs have left the classroom then Scott and Judy (who is not fat at all) enter the classroom and inform Mr. Kotter that, due to all of the Sweathog bullying, they’re withdrawing as well.

Realizing that the Sweathogs have a chance to win their first ever victory at Buchanan High, Kotter has a meeting with Barbarino and Epstein and attempts to talk Barbarino into running again.  Barbarino is not interested until he learns that Scott and Judy have quit.  Kotter admits that he made a mistake in pressuring Barbarino to change his image but he does ask Barbarino if he wants to win the presidency just because Scott and Judy were intimidated into quitting.

“Yeah,” Barbarino replies.

Scott and Judy arrive at the office and Kotter leaves them alone with Barbarino and Epstein so they can work out their problems.

Which I guess they do because the episode abruptly jumps to election day.  Barbarino and the Sweathogs are convinced that Barbarino is going to win.  However, Mr. Woodman stops by the room and announces that Scott won the election.  In order to cheer up Barbarino, Kotter points out that Barbarino got 47 votes.  (He also mentions that Scott got 322.)  Barbarino points out that, if he stays in school long enough, he’ll win an election eventually.  That’s the spirit!

Back at the apartment, Kotter tells Julie a story about how his family’s chicken recipe isn’t that good.

As is becoming a recurring theme with these Welcome Back, Kotter reviews, I enjoyed this episode a lot more than I thought I would.  From Barbarino’s earnest stupidity to Epstein’s cheerful love of violence, this episode featured the students at their best and, even more importantly, Mr. Kotter really did seem to care about whether or not Barbarino learned something from his experience as a political candidate.  Even Mr. Woodman’s barely supressed glee over Barbarino’s defeat made me smile.  This was a good episode.

Episode 1.6 “No More Nice Guy”

(Dir by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on October 14th, 1975)

At the apartment, Kotter tells Julie about the time he dated a girl who was just like his mother.  “What happened?” Julie asks.  “My father hated her,” Kotter says, with a big grin.  (In response, Julie smiles politely.)

At the school, Kotter witnesses Mr. Woodman having a nervous breakdown because someone has been stealing the chalk from his classroom.  Realizing that Woodman is having an existential crisis, Kotter suggests that Woodman should go out with a friend and have dinner.  Woodman interprets this as Kotter inviting him over to his apartment.

That night, after a little awkward conversation, Kotter and Julie both tell Woodman that he should get back into teaching.  (Kotter explains that Woodman was the greatest history teacher that he ever had.  Woodman says that it was because he has always enjoyed talking about guns and war.)  Woodman takes Kotter’s advice and, the next day, he teaches the Sweathogs about the Revolutionary War.

He starts the lesson by dressing up as a redcoat.

He ends it by transforming into George Washington.

The Sweathogs love the lesson and Mr. Woodman is overjoyed to discover that he can still teach.  Unfortunately, Woodman is so happy that he stops being a disciplinarian.  This means that Mr. Kotter now has to be the disciplinarian.  Soon, the Sweathogs are angry at Kotter and chaos is running rampant through the school.  Fortunately, Kotter discovers that the Sweathogs have been hiding Woodman’s chalk in his desk.  When Kotter shows Woodman all of the stolen chalk, Woodman snaps back into being his usual grouchy self.

Back at the bar, Kotter tells Julie about what happened when a man and a mouse walked into a bar.  Julie has the patience of a saint.

This was a good episode, largely because it highlighted John Sylvester White’s wonderfully eccentric performance as Mr. Woodman.  White played Woodman as a man who was always on the verge of having a complete breakdown and he got a lot of laughs from the way his facial expressions and his body language with communicate Woodman’s repressed rage.  This episode, White showed us another side of Woodman and proved that he could be just as funny while being likable as he was when he was being an obsessive authoritarian.  It was hard not to get caught up in Woodman’s joy over getting to teach but it was also hard not to feel a bit of relief when Woodman went back to being his usual self.  The high school, like any institution, needed someone who was willing to play the bad guy.  Again, this was another episode that was far better than I was expecting.

Next week …. Freddie’s getting married!