Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing City Guys, which ran on NBC from 1997 to 2001.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

It’s time to start the final season of City Guys!

Yay!

Seriously, I can’t believe that I’m nearly done with this stupid show.  This was the show that launched Retro Television Reviews and I’ve somehow managed to stick with it, despite the fact that Tubi dropped the show and I’m now having to watch it via crappy YouTube uploads.  That said, I’m ready to finish up City Guys and move on to a new show.

It may not take me that long to finish up the series because, as I previously mentioned, City Guys is no longer on Tubi.  Most of season 5 has been uploaded to YouTube but a few episodes are missing.  I will review what’s available.  The important thing is that the finale is available so we’ll get to see if the City Guys ever actually graduated from Manny High.

Episode 5.1 “This Old Nerd”

(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on September 8th, 2001)

Season 5 opens with the students of Manny High once again revealing how strangely obsessed they are with their principal.  It’s Ms. Noble’s birthday so L-Train, Chris, Cassidy, and Dawn decide to give her an expensive watch as a gift.  (These people are way too obsessed with their principal.)  L-Train buys a watch from a “bearded woman” that he meets on the street.  Ms. Noble is crazy about the watch, which she says looks just like a watch that was recently stolen from her favorite store.  (“It was stolen by a man with a beard,” Ms. Noble explains.)  Ms. Noble says that she’s going to go by the store to get it fitted for her wrist.  The kids freak out, convinced that this will somehow land them in prison.

Instead, it lands Ms. Noble in prison.  Ms. Noble is forced to call into Chris and Jamal’s stupid radio show (which is apparently still a thing).  Chris, Cassidy, and L-Train head down to the jail to …. what?  Bail her out?  Why is Ms. Noble wasting her one phone call on the radio show?  Why isn’t she calling her husband or a lawyer or a bail bondsman?

Meanwhile, Jamal and Al make a bet as to whether or not Jamal can transform his nerdy friend Vincent into one of the cool kids.  Jamal wins the bet but being cool goes to Vincent’s head.  Vincent not only wants to be called Vince but he also quits the debate team!  Eventually, though, Vince overhears Jamal and Al talking about the bet and he realizes that Jamal was just using him.  Jamal apologizes and tells Vince that, to truly be cool, he just has to be himself.  Nice message.  I bet we’ll never see Vince again.

Anyway, Vince rejoins the debate team and he and Dawn win the debate tournament which, of course, is held on the roof of Manny High.  Why does everything have to happen on that roof?  That seems like that would be a huge safety violation.  I climbed out onto the roof of my high school one time and I got yelled at so this is personal to me.

So yeah …. Season 5 is off to a stupid start!  Let’s see if things improve in the second episode.

Episode 5.2 “E-Breakup”

(Directed by Frank Bonner, originally aired on September 8th, 2001)

Al and Dawn break-up yet again!  This time, it’s because Al discovered that Dawn was secretly talking to another guy online.  (That guy turns out to be L-Train.)  Personally, I think they should have broken up after they lost that stupid “best couple competition” to Billy and Ms. Noble at the end of season 4.  There are some things that a relationship just can’t survive!

Meanwhile, Chris and Cassidy are upset because Jamal is in a relationship slump and insists on being a third wheel on all of their dates.  They conspire to frame Jamal for vandalizing Ms, Noble’s office, which seems like a bit of an overreaction but whatever.  Jamal eventually starts dating someone.

I guess the theme of this episode was that everyone at Manny High was a terrible, shallow human being.  That sounds about right.