Lisa’s Week In Review — 1/29/18 — 2/04/18


To be honest, I spent most of this week binge-watching Degrassi.  It happens.

Movies That I Watched

  1. The Children (2008)
  2. Damien: Omen II (1978)
  3. The Final (2010)
  4. La Grande Illusion (1937)
  5. The Lion In Winter (1968)
  6. Love Is A Many Splendored Thing (1955)
  7. Night Slaves (1970)
  8. Test Pilot (1938)

Television That I Watched

  1. 60 Days In
  2. The Alienist
  3. The Amazing Race 30
  4. American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace
  5. Ask The Undertaker
  6. The Bachelor 22
  7. Degrassi — Seasons 6 and 7 are seriously underrated.
  8. Ghost Whisperer
  9. Hell’s Kitchen 17
  10. Intervention — I’m not really a big fan of the Heroin Triangle thing that Intervention is doing right now.  It’s a bit too self-congratulatory for my tastes.
  11. King of the Hill
  12. Kitten Bowl
  13. The Magicians
  14. Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD
  15. The Perfect Suspect
  16. Project Runway All-Stars
  17. Super Bowl LII — Absolutely no one in the Shattered Lens bunker appears to be happy about how this game went.  Myself, I was disappointed with the commercials.
  18. This Is Us — I usually don’t watch this show but, this week, I wanted to find out which one of three kids murdered the father.
  19. Undercover High
  20. Waco
  21. Waco: Messiah or Madman?

Books That I Read

  1. Dr. No by Ian Fleming (1958)
  2. Frankenstein: The First Two Hundred Years by Christopher Frayling (2017) — This is a really fun history of everyone’s favorite reanimated dead guy.  I recommend it for all of my horror-loving friends!
  3. From Russia With Love by Ian Fleming (1957)

Music To Which I Listened

  1. Bob Dylan
  2. Britney Spears
  3. Calvin Harris
  4. The Chemical Brothers
  5. Dean Drouillard
  6. Dillon Francis
  7. Isabel Fay
  8. Jakalope
  9. Jake Bugg
  10. Jake Epstein
  11. James Blake
  12. Justin Timberlake
  13. Muse
  14. Nancy Sinatra
  15. Phantogram
  16. Pink
  17. The Prodigy
  18. Rich White
  19. Saint Motel
  20. Shakira
  21. Sleigh Bells
  22. Taylor Swift
  23. The Ting Tings

Links From Last Week

  1. From my sister’s photography blog, it’s the saddest picture of all time.
  2. Apparently, there’s some people online who are concerned that the Black Panther is going to be “too black” or something like that.  That seems kinda silly to me.  (I mean, when you’re making a movie about the ruler of an African nation, how exactly can you be too black?)  Over on The Ferguson Theater, guest poster Sean E. Ali shares an open letter to those worried about Black Panther being too black.
  3. John Coyote writes about the famous Chelsea Hotel.
  4. On Horrorpedia: A brief examination of trolls.  (No, not internet trolls.  Real trolls!)
  5. From The World’s Common Tater: My Life As a Jailbarian: Life On The Inside Leads To Life Online
  6. From A Pondering Mind, a very important quote from Sylvia Plath.
  7. On FlixChatter, Ruth lists her top 10 films of 2017.
  8. From the Boston Becks, The Nighthawk Award for 2011!  (The Nighthawk Awards, and the amount of work and dedication that this blogger puts into compiling them, is what inspired me to start posting my annual “What if Lisa Had All The Power” posts.)
  9. From John Reiber’s site, check out this Super Bowl food fight!
  10. From Hippie Horror, here are ten feminist horror films!
  11. From Coffee and A Script, The Life And Upcoming Death Of My First Screenplay (The Story Of My Super Mario Adventures Adaptation)
  12. Epistle of Dude offers up three different ways to view Groundhog Day.

Links From The Site

  1. Jeff assembled the greatest football team ever, offered up a Super Bowl prediction, and followed Swamp Thing to the Winchester Mystery House!
  2. Ryan reviewed Future Shock! The Story of 2000 AD, The Rise of the Animals, Charles Forsman’s Slasher, and Hungry Ghosts.  He also offered up his weekly reading round-up!  (Hmmm…even wonder where I got the idea to start doing these Lisa’s Week In Review posts?)
  3. Gary reviewed My Name is Julia Ross, Lady Snowblood, and Trouble Along The Way.  Just in time for the Super Bowl, Gary asked us all, “Are you ready for some football!?”
  4. Erin shared an image of dusk along with several reto football magazine covers, like this oneAnd this one!
  5. Case reviewed The Cloverfield Paradox!
  6. Patrick reviewed The Lullaby!
  7. I shared the music video for one of the greatest songs of all time!

(Check out what I accomplished last week by clicking here!)

Have a great week everyone!

Love you, Canada!

The Cloverfield Paradox – *Great Spoilers*


 

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It’s Superbowl Sunday!!! Better yet, it’s The Cloverfield Paradox on Netflix.

This movie is 1 part – Event Horizon, 1 Part – The Thing, and 1 Part – Boring.

We begin with a dying earth and pesky scientists have tried to create a free energy machine innnnnnnn spaaaaaaace.  Sounds Legit.

There’s British people talking in traffic and I need closed captioning.  The lady in traffic is apparently an astronaut and “Comm Officer”. However, I can’t understand anything she’s saying; so maybe, communications wasn’t the best fit?!

We’re on the space station and they’re trying to do some particle acceleratin’ …woohoo, but something is amiss. The story is really dragging.

Now, there’s nerds, foozball playing, and awkward conversation.  Are we sure this is a Space Station and not the Google Campus?  I do like that all peoples are represented and they’re all boring.  It’s about time that we embraced that most people are boring and even some Netflix films.

They’re about to turn on their Shepherd Accelerator and …… they are making particles, energy, or s’mores?  Then, the Shepherd overloads.  I’m guessing they forgot to use a surge protector. They get control, but the earth is gone- must’ve left the Earth in their other solar system’s pants.  They’re hurtling into empty space.

The crew is starting to act weird.  The Russian- I’m going to call him Boris – is playing with his face a lot and we’re getting an Event Horizon vibe mostly because JJ Abrams decided to defile the memory of another one of my favorite films.  The steel walls have screaming and they decide to open it….because sure. They reveal a woman fused to wires and the bulkhead who knows the Comm Officer’s name.  It’s pretty gross.  They try to do some ER work on her and she lives.

Meanwhile….Back on Earth. There’s explosions!!!

Back on the station…

The foozball is playing itself and things are disappearing: gyroscopes, worms, and my time.   Boris has a worm creature in his head and it’s doing gross things to his eyeball.  Boris starts talking to himself and the voices in his head ask him to make a 3d printed gun.  Boris pulls the 3d printed gun on crewmates and dies with hundreds of worms shooting out of him.

The lady they found in the bulkhead – Mina – wakes up.  She thinks that she was on the station the whole time.  Mina accuses Schmidt of sabotage.  For scientists, they are unimpressive.  These dopes haven’t figured out that they’re in another dimension?! Did they get their PhDs from University of Phoenix?!  They lock Schmidt up for sabotage and proceed to make bad choices.

Back on earth…. More explosions, but now there are screaming kids.

Back on the station: The ship’s Irish janitor is doing repairs and his arm gets detached.  The ship let’s Schmidt out of the airlock and he’s being chased by the Irishman’s arm.  The arm writes them a letter….really. It tells them to cut Boris’ corpse open.  They find the gyroscope inside Boris.  The comms come back and their current reality is pretty bad.  They watch CNN and learn that they’ve traveled to Another Dimension …. Another Dimension … Don’t … you tell me to smile….Interplanetary.   In this dimension, there’s World War III going on and everybody has goatees.  They decide to turn on the Shepherd machine again and hopefully not attract a herd of sheep as well.

Back on earth, the Comm Officer’s husband has rescued a random kid and went to a bomb shelter.

Back on the Station:  Tam figures out that condensation was messing with their calculations, but then she drowns….somehow.  In the alternate dimension, Eva’s kids are alive.  In the “Good Dimension” Eva apparently installed some bad track lighting and killed everyone, but in this “Evil Dimension” – they’re fine because she used lamps I suppose.  Eva decides to go back to warn her twin not to use track lighting…..ever.  I’ve noticed that they do A LOT of caulking in this movie to exciting music, but it’s still a guy caulking. There’s another malfunction and half the ship explodes.

The crew decides that they need to de-couple the broken part of the station, engendering a long scene of attempted space station repair.  It was really slow AND they had this crazy 8-4pm window to do it.  Then, the captain sacrifices himself to do it because why not?

Eva orders that they turn on the shepherd.  All looks well, but Mina steals the gun and starts shooting.  She needs the “firing key” for some reason.  Presumably, the Shepherd will create energy, but that really makes no sense because it doesn’t create energy as much as derivative B-Movies.  Mina manages to kill Eva in the final scene Aliens style and it’s mildly entertaining.

Schmidt lives and they start the Shepherd again, but first she warns her evil twin not to use Track Lighting and to give the ball to Marshawn Lynch in the 2015 Super Bowl.  They see earth again- the good earth and they have a stable power beam.   Eva’s husband doesnt want them to come back because—-monsters.  Then, as the escape pod enters the atmosphere, we see a monster.  So, they unleashed monsters and NBC’s Whitney.

This was a great bad movie, which is what JJ Abrams can do in his sleep. I would watch this if I had the flu or was in a B-movie place.

Lisa’s Favorite 2018 Super Bowl Commercials!


Well, this is quite the quandary.

Usually, at the end of the Super Bowl, I post my ten favorite Super Bowl commercials.  However, this year, most of the commercials were kind of bland.  There were a few that were undoubtedly terrible and tasteless.  I definitely could have done without the commercial that suggested the best way to honor Martin Luther King, Jr. was to buy a pickup truck.  And there were a few commercials that were cute.  Fortunately, we didn’t have any of the condescending “super woke’ commercials that we had to deal with last year.  But, at the same time, there was a general lack of brilliance this year.

In fact, the majority of my favorite Super Bowl commercials were for movies and TV shows.  But I already posted all of those.  Posting them again would be … well, kinda of exhausting.

I was tempted to just not post a favorite commercial list this year but … well, if you know me and my tendency toward compulsive behavior, you know not making a list is never an option with me.

So, here are six commercials that I did like.

1. T-Mobile “Evil Babies Planning On Taking Over The World and Killing Everyone In Their Sleep”

I liked this commercial because it was hella creepy.

2. Doritos Blaze “Don’t Fuck With Peter Dinklage”

3. Mountain Dew Ice “Morgan Freeman: The Cold, Hard Truth”

4. Tide “No Exit”

5. Sprint “Ex Machina Part Two”

6. Solo “Oh my God!  It’s Donald Glover”

Congratulations to the Philadelphia Eagles, Your Super Bowl LII Champs


cracked rear viewer

Well, I sure didn’t think I’d be writing this post a few short hours ago. My home team New England Patriots put up a valiant effort, but as they say, you can’t win ’em all. I’m sure Brady and the bunch will be back next year for another quest at Ring #6, but for now it’s congrats, Philly. What more can I say, except… how many more days til spring training? LET’S GO RED SOX!!

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Here’s The Super Bowl Commercial for Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan!


This is actually the second Super Bowl commercial to feature John Krasinski.  He’s also the director and (I believe) one of the starts of A Quiet Place.

I’d be lying if I ever said that, while I was watching him on The Office, I ever imagined that John Krasinski would become an action star.  However, it appears that he’s managed to do just that.