Film Review: Antboy (2013, dir. Ask Hasselbalch)

Posted on July 19, 2015 by Valerie Troutman

“How about Antman?
Antman? It’s already taken”

I came across this on Netflix a few months back, but since Ant-Man is out now, I thought it was time to watch it. It’s a Danish film and I would like to take a moment to be thankful that it is not Lars Von Trier. Anyways, this film follows the adventures of Pelle Nøhrmann (Oscar Dietz). One day after running away from bullies, he winds up in someone’s backyard. It’s there that a radioactive spider…I mean an ant crawls up onto his neck and bites him. Then we get that shot inside the brain from X-Men and so many other movies.

After passing out, Pelle goes home to bed. Then he has the bat dream…I mean the ant dream. That night he goes into the kitchen in a daze and eats a bunch of stuff. The next day powers begin to emerge.

You know the milk carton itself has expired when it sticks to your hand

No worries! That door needed to be replaced anyways.

But none of that stuff matters. Meet the greatest superpower of all time. His urine is acidic. Yes, he actually uses that later by peeing on a lock.

But Pelle isn’t alone. He has a friend named Wilhelm (Samuel Ting Graf) who is a comic book nerd. He helps Pelle to figure out his powers and design a suit. Now they just need some criminals. They decide to hang out in a parking garage which we all know are dens of sin. Sure enough, a woman has her purse snatched and Antboy comes to the rescue.

After this, one final piece of the Antboy setup comes to light. He ate all that stuff the first night because in order to maintain his powers, he must eat sugar. So, instead of batarangs in his utility belt, he carries sugar. Once he becomes well known enough he is approached by a girl whose sister has been kidnapped. She wants him to rescue her. Enter the villain of the film: The Flea. I’m guessing because The Tick was already taken. He was doing research that could have saved his mother, but it was cancelled by the company he was working for. That’s why he has kidnapped the daughter of the CEO, demands money and his resignation.

The Flea (Nicolas Bro)

Turns out that Antboy and The Flea have similar origins except that The Flea must drink blood. That’s why he carries containers of it on his back with a tube running into his neck.

It proceeds like you imagine it will from there. It’s a fun kids superhero movie and it’s short too. I do like that The Flea isn’t a complete joke. I also enjoyed the comic book panels it uses numerous times as well as directly referencing other superheroes. That makes the film not feel like it’s trying to exist in a vacuum. You know what I mean, those movies that have people do Internet searches, but magically don’t use Google or any other search engine in existence.

I enjoyed it and look forward to seeing the sequel.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Sister Stella L., White Sun of the Desert, 17th Parallel: Vietnam in War, A Colt Is My Passport

Posted on July 18, 2015 by Valerie Troutman

Another four films worth checking out.

Sister Stella L. (1984, dir. Mike De Leon)

White Sun of the Desert (1970, dir. Vladimir Motyl)

17th Parallel: Vietnam in War (1968, dir. Joris Ivens & Marceline Loridan Ivens)

A Colt Is My Passport (1967, dir. Takashi Nomura)

Film Review: Boy Meets Girl (2014, dir. Eric Schaeffer)

Posted on July 18, 2015 by Valerie Troutman

Ricky (Michelle Hendley)

This movie popped up on my radar earlier this year and I made the mistake of thinking they had hired a genetic girl (GG) to play the role of the trans woman named Ricky. I was informed that they had actually gotten the real deal. That’s always nice. I don’t mind when it’s a cisgender man because we call that acting. However, when it’s a GG, it’s kind of the transgender equivalent of blackface. Just without malicious intent.

Now the movie is on Netflix, both DVD and streaming, so I took a look. I had heard that it was a romantic comedy type movie and that was all I knew. The movie is just that. It’s a familiar formula that we’ve all seen before. Two friends who should be lovers, but don’t realize it till one of them has a failed relationship with someone else. The difference is that the girl is transgender and the failed relationship is with another girl.

A girl named Francesca comes in to a coffee shop and makes the worst faux pas ever. She thinks she’s ordering at Starbucks.

Francesca (Alexandra Turshen)

This Isn’t Starbucks

Ricky’s friend Robby, played by Michael Welch, can see the attraction a mile away. Of course, we can see that Robby should be with Ricky a mile away.

The two start hanging out together and Ricky tells her she’s trans. Francesca doesn’t really care. Francesca is engaged to a soldier in Afghanistan but despite this fact, the two form a sexual relationship.

While all this is going on, we keep cutting back to a video Ricky made as a kid about being trans and how that affected her relationship with her mother who is long gone. We also get a great flashback to when she, Robby, and some friends were surprised by a flasher as kids during Halloween.

Trick or Treat? Trick!

There honestly isn’t a whole lot to say about the story that wouldn’t be just telling you the whole plot. The only things that remain are the transgender issues. For some bizarre reason the four reviews in the Metascore section of IMDb are divided heavily across gender lines. The male ones are 90 and 100, but the two female one’s are 50’s. Maybe it’s just the scoring of their reviews that’s screwy. Reading the extracts of their reviews, the guys seen to be seeing more than there is and the girls seem to let the problems cloud their judgement. Let’s take a quick look at the big positive and the big negative.

The big positive is normalcy. I haven’t seen a whole lot of transgender movies, but when I do, they tend to be tragedy (Boys Don’t Cry), I’m artsy and tackled a difficult topic so please give me awards (Laurence Anyways), documentaries (Red Without Blue and Mr. Angel), or a movie like Tomboy and Ma Vie En Rose. This is just a romantic comedy that happens to have a transgender character in it. It’s important that more films that bring being transgender into the mainstream get made. I’ll see The Danish Girl, but I’d like 10 Boy Meets Girl to be made for every movie like Beautiful Boxer.

The big negative is education. It’s 2015 and even an LGBTIQ positive documentary from 2013 (Camp Beaverton: Meet The Beavers) used the word transgendered. We live in a world where people are still ignorant enough that explaining is kind of necessary. It does detract from the characters and story. I wish that Ricky’s YouTube channel could have been something other than fashion (female stereotype), but I also understand why she absolutely couldn’t be a gamer. Putting aside copyright issues, that is still such a strong male stereotype that it would have sent an unintended message of a boy who is a female impersonator rather than the real deal. I wish director Eric Schaeffer could have taken a leap of faith in these areas like he did by having her with both a girl and a boy sexually, but I understand why he didn’t. Still, she could have done cooking.

I certainly don’t speak for the transgender community. I speak for myself. I would say check it out. It’s not going to make any lists of the best movies of 2014/2015, but it’s a good start.

Ricky and Robby

Note: When the letter comes, and you will know it when you see it, pause the movie, since it goes away quickly, and actually read it. It’s a humorous goof the movie made.

Quick Review: Marvel’s Ant-Man (dir. by Peyton Reed)

Posted on July 18, 2015 by Leonard Wilson

*** Wait a minute! Before checking this out, be sure to read TrashFilmGuru’s thoughts on Ant-Man and then if you like, double back here. Two opinions are better than one! ***

I walked into Ant Man with a bias.

As a fan of Edgar Wright, his departure on the film due to creative differences left me wondering if it was worth seeing. Mix that with the idea that Marvel diverged from the character’s comic book origins for a better fit into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and it all seemed like a recipe for failure. This was going to be the Cars 2 of the MCU, I was sure of it.

Ant-Man isn’t as large a tale as Captain America: The First Avenger or as star spanning as Guardians of the Galaxy. At times, it feels like it the story would be better suited for an extended Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Crossover or a Netflix one shot instead of a big screen event. It actually reminded me of Jon Favreau’s Iron Man in many ways, back when all of this was so small that audiences weren’t searching for tie-ins to next film in the line up or homages to The Story So Far. Ant-Man comes with the MCU connections (and comic book ones too), but if you walk in expecting revelations as big as Captain America: The Winter Soldier, the film may be a disappointment. It’s just a hero, and idea that even small actions can have big effects. It’s easily the film’s greatest strength, that it’s so personal. The film’s best components are it’s casting (particularly in House of Cards & The Strain’s Corey Stoll and Fury’s Michael Pena), and the effects themselves. It’s a movie that’s well worth the 3D treatment, if you can catch it that way.

Ant-Man focuses on Scott Lang (Paul Rudd), a former thief who is just trying to spend more time with his daughter, or at least be a hero in her eyes. Scott ends up meeting with Dr. Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) and his daughter Hope (Evangeline Lilly) who brings him on board for a job that just happens to cover his particular skill set. The job comes with a special suit that allows Lang to shrink down to about the size of an Ant, while at the same time allowing him to be much stronger. When Pym’s protege and rival Cross (Stoll) discovers another way to possibly make the shrink ability work, it’s up to Lang to try to stop the progress.

The film had 4 writers during it’s creation. It had Edgar Wright, who many moviegoers know from the Cornetto Trilogy (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, The World’s End) and Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Adam McKay worked with Rudd in the past on the Anchorman films, and was responsible for Talladega Nights & Step Brothers. Both McKay and Rudd had a hand in writing Ant-Man. Finally, Attack the Block’s Joe Cornish was on board. The end result of all this is a film with a great deal of comedy influences in it, though not all of them hit the mark. I felt there were at least 2 moments in the film where Rudd’s character had a one liner that just didn’t hit the mark, or elicit a response from the audience. This isn’t a terrible thing, at most it’s just nitpicking. Overall, you could consider Ant-Man a comic caper with superhero moments.

Additionally, the writers had to also figure out how to make the character of Dr. Hank Pym useful in a storyline where one of his biggest arcs in the comics – creating Ultron – was already handled in a previous story. I like to think this was handled pretty well, as comic readers will already recognize Scott Lang as being the 2^nd Ant-Man – or least this is what I learned from the Marvel Encyclopedia. They’ve managed to keep familiar storylines in place while still anchoring it to the larger tale at hand.

The performances in Ant-Man are good, though it’s the co-stars that potentially steal the film from the leads. Lang’s heist buddies, played by David Dastmalchian (The Dark Knight), Cliff “T.I.” Harris (Takers), and Michael Pena (Fury) were indeed funny in this. Pena in particular stood out as someone who gets ahold of information through some pretty wild sources. Michael Douglas was a strange pick for me when I first heard about it, but he’s actually a fantastic fit for the whole story. Evangeline Lilly looked like she had a lot of fun with this, though her character served as a second mentor for Lang. I wanted to see her do a bit more in the film, actually. Bobby Canavale (Chef, Third Watch) and Judy Greer (Jurassic World) both have nice supporting roles in this.

Corey Stoll has played an ass so much on-screen that I’m not entirely sure he isn’t that way off camera. Between Non-Stop, House of Cards, Midnight in Paris and now Ant-Man, he’s plays the kind of characters that were historically set aside for character actors like Jeff Kober or Michael Ironside. Honestly, they couldn’t have made a better choice here. Cross comes off like a variant of Iron Man’s Odebiah Stane, resentful, evil, and maybe a little crazed. Rudd, on the other hand, handles the Hero’s Journey with ease, bringing his own sense of comedy that works almost as well as it did for Chris Pratt in Guardians of the Galaxy. It’s not perfect, but the character’s lighthearted nature is a good contrast from the serious gloom and doom that most of the Avengers are going through these days, and I feel Rudd did well here.

That’s another aspect of Ant-Man that needs to be recognized. The story in this may have a larger impact in things to come, but it felt really compact. Since the focus on the story involves Lang getting back to his daughter and stopping this one small thing, it takes a step back from the escalation we’ve been getting in previous MCU films. To me, since Phase Two started, every film’s been a stepping stone with at least one huge revelation somewhere that shows this is all much bigger than any one hero can take on. Discovery of the Infinity Stones, the big reveal of S.H.I.E.L.D. In the Winter Soldier and the events in Age of Ultron cover a large area. Maybe it’s better to say that they have an impact that’s covers a wide distance. With Ant-Man being the first film of Phase Three, it feels almost as if a step back it taken to something more personal. It’s not bad, but it’s different. It has the potential to leave viewers with a bad taste in their mouths if they were expecting something grand.

The effects in Ant-Man are good, really, really sweet. Quite honestly, it may be one of the first times where I haven’t found myself annoyed by what I call “The Zoic Effect” – that technique used in almost every film these days where you’re watching something and the director decides “Hey, let’s do a maximum level quick zoom on that target right there!”, because there’s a chance the audience might not see the subject. I believe Zoic Studios were the first to do that with Firefly and Battlestar Galactica, though I could be wrong. In Ant-Man, that rapid intense zoom is almost a welcome requirement when watching a little figure run and leap up and over objects. Add a 3D effect to all that, and I found myself enjoying that on the big screen. From a directing standpoint, it’s all very straightforward and you get an idea of the influences from all of the writers involved. Still, Peyton Reed (Down With Love) keeps from the film from straying too far away from it’s intended focus. Additionally, though the help of CGI, Disney/Marvel was able to digitize a younger Michael Douglas, and the look of this was even better than what they accomplished with Jeff Bridges in Tron: Legacy.

Overall, Ant-Man is a great addition to the MCU and on it’s own, it’s strong. I suppose Thor will still have to stay as the Cars 2 of that movie library. Note to viewers: If you’re planning to see this, be sure to stay until after the end credits. There’s a mid scene during the credits and one at the very end.

Film Review: Faults (dir by Riley Stearns)

Posted on July 17, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Faults is many things.

It’s a character study. It’s a thriller. It’s a deeply unsettling horror film. It’s a darker-than-dark comedy that will make you laugh even while you’re glancing over your shoulder to make sure there are no strangers hiding in the shadows. It’s a look at religion, faith, free will, and guilt. It’s a declaration that a major talent — writer/director Riley Stearns — has arrived. It’s an acting showcase for both Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Leland Orser. It’s a film that found success on the festival circuit and then had an all-too brief theatrical release in March. It’s also a film that’s currently available on Netflix. Finally, it’s one of the best films of the year so far.

When we first meet professional cult deprogrammer Ansel Roth (Leland Orser), he is eating dinner in a hotel restaurant and desperately trying to convince his waiter that he has an agreement with management, guaranteeing him free meals while staying at the hotel. After Ansel is kicked out of the restaurant, he then tries to convince the hotel manager that his room is supposed to be free as well. The manager gives Ansel an hour to check out.

As quickly becomes apparent, Ansel is nearly broke and he’s living out of his car. What little money he has, he makes from giving sparsely attended lecture where he literally begs people to pay fifteen dollars to get a copy of his latest book. After his lectures, Ansel is willing to sign his new book at a cost of five dollars per signature.

(At one point, when someone asks Ansel to sign his previous book, Ansel abruptly explains that he no longer signs that book. If you want his five dollar autograph, you have to first pay fifteen dollars to get his new book.)

At one point, Ansel was a minor celebrity with his own talk show but, after a girl he deprogrammed subsequently committed suicide, Ansel’s life fell apart. His latest book is self-published and his former manager, the oddly polite Terry (Jon Gries), claims that Ansel owes him money. Terry’s enforcer, Mick (the always intimidating Lance Reddick), is stalking Ansel from cheap motel to cheap motel.

However, things start to look up for Ansel when he’s approached by Paul (Chris Ellis) and Evelyn (Beth Grant). They explain that their daughter, Claire (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), has joined a cult known as Faults and is a follower of a mysterious figure named Ira. They ask Ansel to deprogram her. Ansel agrees to do so and charges them $20,000.

After Ansel and two “assistants” literally grab Claire off the street, they take her to a cheap motel where, behind locked doors, Ansel starts to try to deprogram Claire. However, from the start, Ansel discovers that it’s going to be more difficult than he realized.

For one thing, Claire remains calm throughout the whole kidnapping and, even when locked in the shabby motel room, is confident that she is about to “move on” and achieve a higher level of existence. When Paul and Evelyn show up and try to talk to Claire, it turns out that they’re not quite the loving parents that they initially presented themselves as being. Paul, in particular, reveals himself to have a fierce temper and he demands that Claire change into clothes that would be more appropriate for a teenager than for an adult. When Ansel suggests that the overbearing Paul should back off, Paul replies that he “knows” what Ansel truly wants to do with Claire.

Secondly, even as Ansel tries to deprogram Claire, he still has to deal with Terry and Mick. Neither one of them is particularly concerned about whether or not Ansel can pull Claire away from Faults. Instead, Terry just wants his money.

And finally, even as Ansel tries to keep control of the situation, he is personally falling apart. He finds himself having sudden nosebleeds. At one point, his suit spontaneously combusts into flame. (Believe it or not, there is a relatively plausible reason for why this happens but that doesn’t make it even less shocking.) When Ansel falls asleep in the motel room, he subsequently wakes up in his car and has no memory of how he got there.

And through it all, Claire remains a seductive and manipulative enigma. Sometimes she’s cold and in control. Other times, she’s surprisingly vulnerable. Ansel finds himself both attracted to and frightened of Claire. Throughout the film, Ansel insists that he has “free will” but Claire forces him to reconsider that assumption.

Faults is a low-key and disturbing film that is distinguished by a very dark and cynical sense of humor. Mary Elizabeth Winstead is amazing as the mysterious Claire while Leland Orser is wonderfully desperate and surprisingly sympathetic as Ansel. When Faults first started, I was concerned that, since it largely takes place in one cramped motel room, the film would be too stagey to be effective. But director Riley Stearns does amazing work with that one location and, as a result, Faults is one of those rare films that actually gets more intriguing the deeper you get into it.

Faults is currently available on Netflix and you should watch it.

Bad Blonde: TOO LATE FOR TEARS (1949)

Posted on July 17, 2015 by gary loggins

I just finished viewing the 1949 feature TOO LATE FOR TEARS on TCM. The title may sound like a weepy tearjerker, but this is film noir dynamite. Once incomplete due to falling into public domain, the UCLA Film & Television Archive have restored it to its black & white glory. I’d never seen this one before, and it was time well spent. It’s based on a Saturday Evening Post serial by screenwriter Roy Huggins, who later went on to produce television classics like MAVERICK, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, and BARETTA. TOO LATE FOR TEARS can hold it’s own with the better known noirs of the era.

Alan and Jane Palmer are driving down a lonely LA highway when a satchel is tossed in their car by another driver. They discover the bag’s loaded with cold, hard cash. They’re chased by the intended party, but manage to elude them. When the couple opens the bag at their apartment, Jane’s money lust is palpable. See, she was married once before to a man who committed suicide when he lost his fortune. Jane yearns to return to the easy life and sees this cash as a way out. Sensible Alan argues they should turn it over to the cops, but greedy Jane persuades him to stash it in a train station locker for a week, until cooler heads can prevail.

While Alan’s at work, Jane gets a visit from slimeball Danny who says he’s a cop. After nosing around a bit, he tells her he’s the guy the bag was intended for and threatens her. Not willing to give up her claim on the dough, Jane entices the bum into helping get the money in exchange for half. Danny goes along and agrees to meet her at the lake. Alan and Jane go on a fateful boat ride, where she shoots her husband and has Danny switch clothes with the corpse. Then they tie an anchor to him and drop the poor sap at the bottom of the lake. Jane creates an elaborate ruse to convince everyone that Alan’s run off. But Alan’s little sister Cathy has her doubts, and grows suspicious. An old Army buddy of Alan’s named Don drops by to visit his pal. But Don’s not what he seems to be (no one is in this movie!). Jane plots with Danny to poison little sister and get her out of the way. Instead, Danny ends up poisoned by duplicitous Jane. She ends up hightailing it with the loot to Mexico. Jane’s really living it up on her ill-gotten gains, until Don shows up and the truth is revealed…..

The ending’s a doozy, and Jane gets her final comeuppance in the film’s climax. TOO LATE FOR TEARS is all about crosses and double-crosses, greed, lust, and murder. The cast is full of dependable actors. Lizabeth Scott stars as Jane, the ultimate femme fatale. Scott got her big break in DEAD RECKONING (with Humphrey Bogart), and went on to film noir stardom in I WALK ALONE, DARK CITY, and THE RACKET. She even played opposite Elvis in LOVING YOU. Dan Duryea (Danny) has long been one of my favorite actors. His sleazy touch can be seen in SCARLET STEET (a real gem), LARCENY, CRISS CROSS, and WINCHESTER ’73. Don Defoe (Don), usually cast as the lead’s sidekick, is more recognizable for the sitcoms OZZIE & HARRIET and HAZEL. Always dependable Arthur Kennedy doesn’t make it through the first third of the movie, but is fine as straight laced Alan. If you don’t blink, you’ll spot Denver Pyle, Billy Halop of the Dead End Kids, and MICKEY MOUSE CLUB host Jimmy Dodd in small uncredited roles.

Byron Haskin was a top cinematographer and headed Warner Brothers’ special effects department before turning to directing in the late 40s. He keeps a tight reign on this one, but is best known for his work in science-fiction films like WAR OF THE WORLDS, CONQUEST OF SPACE, ROBINSON CRUSOE ON MARS, and the 60s TV anthology THE OUTER LIMITS. TOO LATE FOR TEARS, despite the sappy title, is a great little piece of filmmaking. Independently produced by Hunt Stromberg (RED DUST, THE THIN MAN) and originally released through United Artists, this is a movie that will satisfy any film noir buff. Thank you UCLA for your continued work in saving these lesser known pieces of Hollywood history. And as always, thanks to TCM for giving us all the privilege of watching them again and again.

Film Review: The Magic of the Golden Bear: Goldy III (1994, dir. John Quinn)

Posted on July 17, 2015 by Valerie Troutman

Remember when you were a kid and you didn’t have anything else to do so you started flipping through the channels on the TV? You came across a movie that wasn’t necessarily good, but you stopped and watched it anyways. You didn’t have anything else to do. Then you moved on with your life and grew up. Something happens and you remember that movie but can’t for the life of you think of title. So you begin digging around trying to find it. If you’re lucky, you do. An example of that kind of movie for me is Tommy Tricker and the Stamp Traveller (1988). This is one of those movies. A humble movie. I never saw it as a kid, but I think I would remember it. I became aware of it because it showed up on Netflix and said it has Cheech Marin, Mr. T, and a bear. How was I going to resist that?

The movie begins in an Old West town with Jessie (Bonnie Morgan) and her pet bear Goldy. I am no expert on bears, but it puzzles me why they keep referring to it as the last Golden Bear. Well, this bear likes to pay visits to the schoolhouse to get suckers from Jessie, plays dress up, and sometimes goes for a bike ride. No joke. Just look!

It’s that scene that would make this film stick somewhere in your memory if you saw it as a child. With that little bit of comedy to open the film, we are introduced to our characters and situation that needs resolving. There is a man who lives in the wilderness simply referred to as the “ghost man”. Take a wild guess who that is.

Ghost Man (Mr. T)

There are also Borgia (Cheech Marin) and Hugo (Danny Woodburn) who are magician and magician’s assistant respectively. Borgia isn’t doing so good magically and thinks if he can get his hands on the last Golden Bear that things will get better. He’s also a Jedi.

Jedi Mind Trick

Throw in some rednecks and a shooting contest that must be won to save the house and you have Goldy III. Eventually all these people come together and the real problem emerges. The ghost man, who turns out to be named Freedom, realized it from the moment he met Goldy. Goldy ran away scared from him. It’s understandable that a little girl would, but a bear? That shouldn’t happen and Freedom knows it. Goldy has become too human and forgotten how to be a bear. I mean Goldy even takes his punishment for riding the bike by sitting in a corner with a dunce cap on.

Eventually Jessie runs away with Goldy to protect her when the possibility of her being sold arises. She finally gets to be properly introduced to Freedom and he explains why Goldy needs to be set free. After awhile the rest of the folks catch up with them. At this point, Borgia knows he’s been doing bad things and wants to make things right. How? Well, remember he’s a Jedi!

Into The Wild For Goldy

I can’t tell you how this fits in with the previous films because I haven’t seen them. Note, I said films, not the first two movies. That’s because according to IMDb there are two Goldy III movies. I don’t know how that works. Trevor Black is the creator and director of the first two movies and seems to have made a third too. This was then made several years later also as Goldy III. Maybe it’s a remake, but I don’t know. It’s definitely safe for a kid, but this really is the kind of movie they should stumble upon their own. I wouldn’t bring it to them.

Here’s the Trailer for The Revenant!

Posted on July 17, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Here’s the first trailer for The Revenant, director Alejandro Inarritu’s follow-up to the Oscar-winning Birdman, which I thought was overrated but everyone else in the world seemed to love it.

A lot of people are speculating that The Revenant could be a major player in the 2015 Oscar race and the trailer certainly does look exciting. Leonardo DiCaprio has never won an Oscar and Tom Hardy has never even been nominated, so both of them are due for a little Academy love. Plus, The Revenant co-stars the suddenly very prolific Domhnall Gleeson, who was great in both Ex Machina and Unbroken and who is destined to be nominated some day.

Val’s Movie Roundup #3: Late Night Cable Edition

Posted on July 16, 2015 by Valerie Troutman

I remember when Fifty Shades Of Grey (2015) came out and the outcry on Twitter. Even a woman I respect was ranting about it. It seemed ridiculous to me, but I hadn’t seen it yet so I reserved judgement. I saw it on June 23rd. It’s the kind of movie I would have watched during an elementary school sleepover thinking I was seeing something naughty when I actually had seen next to nothing. I distinctly remember watching Sirens (1993) with Hugh Grant one time. I also remember a guy at school thinking he was cool because he had seen Sleeping With The Enemy (1991).

By the time I got to middle school I had a TV in my room with cable. That meant I was introduced to the wonderful world of late night cable. Sometimes this meant cheesy sex comedies from the 80’s. Other times bad monster movies. I even managed to get in on the first episode of Sex And The City by accident and other shows like Perversions of Science. It also meant the occasional film that gave Cinemax it’s nickname Skinemax. Honestly, I never watched many of them. I only remember one called The Naked Detective (1996). However, I have fond memories of them being quite funny. The sex wasn’t interesting, but I would get laughs out of the material around the sex.

I also remember in the early 2000’s when Roger Ebert introduced a movie he and Richard Roeper were going to review. It was Secret Things (2002). A decent piece of French erotica. He said that most critics ignore movies like that and don’t like to admit to being aroused. He basically was saying that is a bunch of nonsense which was why they were going to talk about the film despite the content.

I recently started using the HBO, Showtime, and Cinemax apps. They stock a few of their late night movies in them. I thought I would take another look at them being 10-15 years older than when I was just a kid. I think Ebert is right. In fact, on a side note, they have the movie he wrote the screenplay for in the Cinemax After Dark section. That being Russ Meyer’s Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls (1970). Proof that being a great film critic, doesn’t necessarily mean you should be making them. I thought I would talk briefly about a couple of them that I watched recently.

There seem to be two main directors whose films populate these three apps. Dean McKendrick and Stormy Daniels. I am going to talk about three of McKendrick’s films and one of Daniels’ films.

Sexy Warriors (2014) – This is quintessential Dean McKendrick. A B-Movie plot with loads of corny dialogue. These are the kind of late night movies I remember watching and laughing along with. This is similar, as with many of these films, to mainstream movies like Time Barbarians (1990) and Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time (1991). Except instead of burly warriors from the past, we have Amazon women who happen to come from the “isle of Lesbos”. Of course they do. It begins with two of them trying to get to the Orb of Azoff. One of them knocks out the other and gets to the orb first. The orb sends her away to Los Angeles. Of course! But not just anywhere in Los Angeles. This time portal of sorts has it’s other end in the worst gym I have ever seen in a movie. You can see it in the picture above. That’s it. You think that’s just the locker room, but no. That’s the entire gym. The fact that they have actual conversations about the gym including that one of them doesn’t have the money to buy it is hilarious. Soon the other lady comes through the portal as well. There’s some sex. It’s the kind geared toward straight guys while trying to pick up lesbians as well with girl on girl. One thing I thought was interesting is that there is a guy in the movie played by an actor named Ted Newsom. It’s always interesting to look at the other credits for people in movies and late night cable movies are no exception. This guy acts in these types of films, but actually makes lots of documentaries about Old Hollywood. In particular, the history of horror films. Well, the two reconcile their differences and go home happy. This is a standard McKendrick film.

Lust In Space (2015) AKA Naked In Space – This is an example of where McKendrick loses his way. The plot has something to do with people training to go and supply a space station, but there’s spies involved trying to do something nefarious. It just doesn’t work. McKendrick needs simple, and this ain’t it. Also, it’s all very recycled from his other films. In fact, there’s a shot of the moon in the credits that is exactly the same as he used in Lolita From Interstellar Space. Identical. There’s also a set that is reused from that movie. The sex is the same as usual. Like one of the porn stars in the documentary Aroused (2013) said, they’re not trying to catch smooth transitions. It’s from position A to B to C. The only thing that keeps this movie from being the worst McKendrick movie I’ve seen is that unlike Lolita From Interstellar Space, it does not have Anna Morna in it. I don’t expect great performances by any of the actors in these movies, but her’s was unbelievably awful. Her absence is a blessing, but you can still skip this one.

Invisible Centerfolds (2015) – Ever thought The Invisible Man (1933) with Claude Rains or the many other invisible people movies needed girl on girl, then this is for you. Once again it has the familiar signature of Dean McKendrick, but this one is a wee bit zanier. Sure the invisible part means the standard humor that you would expect in comedy that has someone made invisible, but there’s more. The professor who creates the invisibility potion looks and is dressed like Bill Nye, The Science Guy. No joke. It took me a bit to realize it, but once you see it, you can’t unsee it. Also, at one point one of the girls drinks what she thinks is the invisibility potion, but it isn’t. It’s the turn a person into a gorilla potion. Why? Why not! Suddenly she’s a gorilla. Yep, that happens. Also, this movie kind of makes fun of it’s own genre by making the excuses to have sex so ludicrous that I think McKendrick was deliberately parodying himself. That isn’t beyond the scope these movies. The best one of these kind of movies I have seen called Emmanuelle Through Time: Emmanuelle’s Skin City (2011) is one long parody of it’s own genre and all the movies with Emmanuelle in the title. As for this movie, all I can say is, this one’s okay.

Immortal Love (2012) AKA Sex With A Vampire – This is a Stormy Daniels film. Her movies are a different beast than a Dean McKendrick movie in almost every way. Both her and McKendrick borrow a familiar mainstream genre or plot, but that’s where the similarities end. First off, being a woman, these movies are clearly targeted for straight girls and straight girls only. No girl and girl whatsoever. As the title suggests, it’s Twilight. Of course it is. A girl is in danger, a vampire saves her, and the two form a kinship. Except instead of a bunch of annoying staring that Screen Junkies was able to piece together to make a nearly 30 minute video, these two actually do something about it. The sex is similar to McKendrick, but made less fun and more romantic. Neither comes across as particularly natural however. I have only encountered that in one of these movies that I have watched and I think my heart skipped a beat because I was so shocked to see sex with purpose and passion. Daniels also makes greater use of story than McKendrick. If you don’t just want a comedic clothesline on which sex scenes are hung, then Daniels is for you. She also does more interesting things cinematographically including the use of black and white in this one. I have only seen two of her movies, but this is the one to go with.

What Lisa Watched Last Night #131: Bad Blood (dir by Adam Silver)

Posted on July 16, 2015 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I watched a Lifetime film that originally aired in March, Bad Blood.

Why Was I Watching?

The main reason that I watched it was so I could get it off of my DVR. I recorded Bad Blood when it originally aired in March, fully planning to promptly review it. However, for whatever reason, I never got around to writing that review and Bad Blood sat, for 4 months, on my DVR. Last night, I decided to rewatch Bad Blood, review Bad Blood, and finally erase Bad Blood! (I need the space for all the shark movies that are going to be SyFy this week.)

What Was It About?

Bad Blood was a typical Lifetime mix of empowerment and exploitation. Serial killer Oscar Marcus (Brett Rickaby) is dying of leukemia so he’s kidnapping, torturing, and murdering victims all across the southwest so that he can exchange his bad blood for their good blood. (Or something like that — Bad Blood was not exactly an easy film to follow.) However, because Oscar had a bone marrow transplant five years earlier, he’s not leaving his DNA behind at the crime scenes. Instead, he’s leaving behind the DNA of his donor, Lauren (Taylor Cole).

And, since this is a Lifetime film, Lauren has both a mysterious past and a boyfriend involved in law enforcement. However, when Lauren’s DNA starts to show up at crime scenes, that boyfriend is forced to arrest her. (That’ll kill a relationship.)

However, Oscar rescues Lauren from the cops because he wants her blood. And then Lauren escapes Oscar and teams up with her estranged father (Jeff Kober) to prove her innocence…

What Worked?

It’s strange. I really didn’t like Bad Blood the first time I saw it but the second time, I discovered that it wasn’t as bad as I remembered. There were a few strikingly atmospheric scenes towards the end of the film and there was something oddly charming about the film’s refusal to make any logical sense.

Jeff Kober was good as the irresponsible father and Brett Rickaby was a chillingly believable murderer. The second time I watched the film, I better appreciated Taylor Cole’s performance as well.

What Did Not Work?

Bad Blood was not as bad as I remembered it being but it’s still not one of my favorite Lifetime films. The pacing was off in a few key scenes and Lauren’s romance with the sheriff was pretty dull. As well, I didn’t care much for the film’s ending. After what those people went through, everyone should have been a lot more traumatized. Instead, it ended in a typically upbeat Lifetime sort of way.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

I related to Lauren’s relationship with her dad. Plus, Lauren’s a runner just like me! (Lauren was also an auto mechanic, which was a totally “Oh my God! Definitely not like me!” moment.)

Lessons Learned

DNA is a lot trickier than I thought.